This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here
Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!
Dear Agent for a Day:
I am seeking representation for my middle-grade historical fantasy THE LION’S MANE, centred around the time of the Roman invasion of Britain.
THE LION’S MANE features 12-year-old Austin and a magical cat named Kedi.
His parents rent a villa in Turkey for the entire summer and Austin gets set for the most boring vacation of his life, away from all his friends in England. But that’s before he rescues a talking cat, witnesses a bloody ritual that causes two people to disappear, and suddenly finds himself whisked back in time. In Ephesus, nearly 2000 years in the past, he makes a new friend, falls in love – and finds an enemy. Evil forces are at work, doing their best to prevent Claudius the Emperor’s invasion of Britain, and Austin has to act fast to figure out how to influence the Emperor and ensure that the invasion does take place. It’s either that, or time and civilization as he knows it will never be the same.
THE LION’S MANE focuses on the themes of friendship and loyalty, as well as exploring the ideas of time travel and the day-to-day decisions we make, for good or bad, that can have far-reaching consequences. This story will appeal most to those readers who enjoy delving into worlds where young heroes fight for the triumph of good over bad.
Please let me know if you would be interested in seeing THE LION’S MANE. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Author
STATS: 16% request rate
Hallie says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to My Imaginary Yet Successful Literary Agency. I receive many queries each day, and I request only a small percentage of manuscripts that I’m interested in representing. I have decided not to request one for your book because I don’t feel that I’m intrigued enough to be its best representative.
Should you need resources for querying, finding writing resources and groups, or if you’d like to know more about how I choose manuscripts, please visit (this section of my agency’s website) for more information. I wish you the best of luck in finding a home for your writing. Thank you again for giving me the opportunity to consider your work.
Warm regards,
Hallie
__________________________________
And if I were fortunate enough to be able to give some feedback to each and every author I declined, I’d note the following:
A lot of things in this query just didn’t gel for me. The magical cat, the time travel, the unnamed enemy, Claudius, and love at age 12 all in one book didn’t seem like it would work practically.
superwench83 says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query! I’d like to read more. Please email me the manuscript.
Sincerely,
Agent for a Day
Nikki Hensley says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I don’t think I am the right agent for this novel. Best of luck in your search!
Agent Nikki
Melissa says
Form rejection:
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately it doesn’t meet my needs at this time.
Thank you and best of luck,
Melissa (Ximera)
Dave says
Sorry, but I’m going to have to pass. Don’t give up though!
Just_Me says
Dear Author,
After serious consideration I am afraid I am forced to pass on your novel. I love the concept, but I don’t feel I am the best advocate for your work. I wish you the best of luck in finding the agent who is quickly.
Sincerely,
Agent
vicariousrising says
Thank you for your submission. I regret that I don’t feel this project isn’t right for me.
I wish you the best in your writing endeavors.
Kendra says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your work. Concidering my current workload, I can only take on projects I feel truly passionate about. While the premise shows promise, I didn’t find myself truly drawn to the idea. I have to pass. Good luck in your writing.
Kendra
Hildegarde512 says
Thank you for submitting however [If I were a real agent, a GENTLE FORM REJECTION would exist here].
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for considering me. Unfortunately I have to pass. Reason for rejection – personal taste.
Best of Luck!
Agent X-9
Vic K says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting The Lion’s Mane to my agency. I’m intrigued by the premise and I’d like to see the first fifty pages.
Regards,
Vic K.
Reason; I loved the concept and felt it would be an easy sell.
Heather says
Dear Author,
Thank you very much for taking the time to query our agency. I have given your project thoughtful consideration; unfortunately, it is not a good fit for us at this time because, although the project is well conceived and well written, I do not typically represent this type of work and do not possess the necessary industry contacts to make a successful sale for you.
Best Wishes on Finding Representation for Your Work,
Heatehr
Rik says
Thank you for submitting your book – The Lion’s Mane – for my consideration. Regrettably, I do not feel that I am able to represent this work for you. Best wishes for your future endeavours. Agent Rik.
Crystal says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. I am writing to request further manuscript material. Please send the first five or ten chapters to the address in which you sent your query. Thank you.
Sincerely,
Lit Agent
abouttothunder says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the opportunity to represent your work. Unfortunately, it isn’t a good fit for me. Since you deserve an agent who will fully support you project, I will have to pass.
I wish you the best of luck in finding representation.
Sincerely,
Agent-for-a-day Sara
P. S. This was a very close call for me. Had I been able to select more than five, I would have asked for a partial. The synopsis summarized the plot well, but I didn’t get a feel for the main character.
Meggrs says
Kindly worded rejection.
Story didn’t quite hook me the way I’d like, and I’m a little confused about the “evil forces” working to “prevent” the Roman Empire’s invasion of Britain.
I like that the MC has to make it happen in order for history not to change, but would a British kid truly think that forces working to stop the Romans from invading his homeland were “evil?”
That being said, I think you can tweak the query and make the story and perspective clearer, and have a great shot.
Leis says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. While I think your story has potential, it is not something I feel confident taking on at this time.
Please feel free to query me with future projects.
Sincerely,
Agent for a Day
**one I would have requested, had I not reached my allotment… Sorry!**
L.C. Gant says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but I’m afraid your story isn’t right for me.
Although your work shows potential, the premise doesn’t stand out enough for me to request sample pages.
Take heart, however–another agent may feel differently! Good luck with your continued search for literary representation.
Best wishes,
L.C. Gant (Agent for a Day)
Sarah says
Dear Author #43,
I regret that I cannot offer representation- and that my other obligations necessitate using this form letter.
Tastes and opinions vary, so I encourage you to query widely. I wish you the best of luck as you continue to pursue publication.
Warmly,
Sarah, Literary Agent for a Day
Reasons:
I needed a reason to root for the invasion of Britain, even though the lack of it would completely change the present. Also, the combination of a talking cat and bloody rituals seemed to suggest that story might not be consistent. Talking cat seems far too cute for the rest of the story. It might just be the query, though. What a fascinating time in history!
Hilabeans says
Dear Author,
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. I regret to say that I don’t feel that I’m the most appropriate agent for this project.
Best wishes,
HHS
Dawn says
Dear Author,
Thank you for contacting Dawn Ink. Unfortunately, THE LION’S MANE is not what we’re looking for right now.
Best of luck in finding representation.
Sincerely,
Dawn
GuyStewart/DISCOVERCHURCH says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your query, but I’m going to have to pass. I do not feel strongly enough about your story to represent it well.
Sincerely, Guy Stewart
Owl Sprite says
Dear Author,
I just flew back in to say that I hope I didn’t sound like I was bashing your book. I was “thinking out loud” and my previous comments were meant to be read in a light, conversational tone.
Please keep writing! You have fantastic ideas. My concern is with how marketable the book would be. Maybe this story would be better as an adult novel?
Just my two cents.
Have a great weekend!
SuzieQ Agent4U says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel your book is right for me. Good luck with your search.
Best,
S
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for taking the time to submit your query to me.
I like your voice and the premise of your story.
Therefore, I would like to request a PARTIAL. Please reply to this e-mail and attach the first three chapters of your manuscript as a Word document. Please change the subject line to: PARTIAL / THE LION´S MANE / YOUR NAME. I will respond within one week.
Thank you in advance.
Kind regards,
Nicole34
2readornot says
I like the idea of a middle grade with time travel, however, I’m not sure a 12-year old falling in love is up my alley. Good luck!
Kathy says
Thank you for your query but I’m afraid this is not right for me.
Sincerely,
Kathy
Chuck H. says
Dear Author,
OK. I’ll bite. Send me the first three chapters and we’ll see if your writing lives up to the premise.
Sincerely,
Chuck
(Adventure and history for middle graders. I think it will sell. For the query, though, I think I would make it clear early on that Austin lives in modern England.)
AgentforDay says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting THE LION’S MANE for my consideration.
Please send me your full manuscript for further consideration. Please include the word count.
Sincerely,
Agent for the Day
Your voice is very clear, and you know your target market. If the book is as well written as the query, The LION’S MAIN will entertain and educate.
Anahita says
Dear Author:
Thanks for sharing your query. Sorry I can’t represent your work. Good luck!
Anahita
Saint_Fool says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel that your story is the right fit for me.
Best of luck.
Saint_Fool
Nicely written query, but the idea that a time traveler can accomplish anything when they have no knowlege of the language spoken by the people of that time is always a killer for me as a reader. Sorry, but I can’t suspend my disbelief.
Enusan says
Thank you for your query. I think your premise is interesting, and may just expose young readers to a little bit of history. Please send the first chapter at your earliest convenience.
AMM says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting LION’S MANE for my consideration. I am interested in reading more.
Please send a brief synopsis and the first three chapters for further consideration.
Sincerely,
AMM
That Girl says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I will have to pass at this time.
Best of luck,
That Agent Girl
R. Markiam says
Dear Author,
I am glad you sent your query for THE LION’S MANE to me and look forward to working with you further. Please send the complete manuscript for my review.
Talk to you soon,
R. Markiam
Jenn S. says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. It’s not right for me, but please keep me in mind for future submissions.
Regards,
Jenn S.
(Reason: This was a little hard to reject, because MG readers might like this plot and character. However, the fact that the protagonist has to ensure a bloody invasion of Britain–rather than rescue or befriend a king or something–concerns me. And 12 is a little young for falling in love!
Another major reason for rejection: no word count.)
ludwig snarf says
i regret that we cannot help you
MonkBoy says
Thank you for your query submission, but I’m afraid we’re not interested in your material at this time.
Best of luck,
Placebo Publications
Linta says
Dear Author
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately I’m not the right agent for you. Best of luck in finding your novel a home.
Regards
Agent for a day
[reasoning: plot is not plausible. How does a 12 year old child work against such huge forces, or against an emperor? Not clear why forces of evil would want the invasion not to occur. Story not original enough.]
Laura Martone says
Dear Author:
Thank you for submitting your query for consideration. I appreciate the time, energy, and passion that it required to complete “The Lion’s Mane”.
Unfortunately, given the thousands of queries that I receive annually, I can only request a small percentage of manuscripts for possible representation. While I find the subject matter of your novel intriguing, it does not meet my editorial needs at this time.
I am grateful for the opportunity to consider your work and wish you much luck in your future endeavors.
Sincerely,
Laura Martone
Livia says
Thank you for your query, but it is not a good fit for me. Best wishes.
Livia
chris says
Thank you for your query, but your project isn’t right for us at this time. Best of luck in your endeavors.