This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here
Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!
Dear Agent for a Day:
I understand from your blog that you are interested in young adult and science fiction. I believe you will enjoy GHOSTLAND (82,000 words), a dystopian YA in the vein of Neal Shusterman’s UNWIND and Scott Westerfeld’s UGLIES.
In a society that breeds perfection, seventeen-year-old Dax is a mistake – and mistakes are illegal. His survival depends on his ability to be invisible, to make the world forget he exists. But Dax has heard rumors of a place where “defects” aren’t killed for their freckles, mismatched eyes, or mental disabilities.
They call it the Promised Land.
Serenity Faire’s family calls it dangerous – a threat to national security. Which is why they allow Dax to live when he is caught stealing, forcing him instead to help them find this city that has eluded the government for centuries. Their search leads them through the tunnels of Washington D.C.’s abandoned subways, into the heart of an America that was lost years ago. But in this forgotten world, Dax and Serenity uncover their own secret – a romance that is even more illegal than Dax’s freckles. Their growing affection has consequences that echo through the White House, drawing the attention of the oppressive ruling family and threatening both the surface world and the subway city. Because the only thing worse than a defect who is allowed to live is a defect who is allowed to love.
I am currently a freelance writer for the Mountain Valley News, a local paper in Cedaredge, CO, as well as a student at Colorado State University in Pueblo.
Thank you so much for your time. The full manuscript of GHOSTLAND is available for your consideration.
I look forward to hearing back from you.
Sincerely,
Author
STATS: 33% request rate
Dawn says
Dear Author,
Thank you for contacting Dawn Ink. Unfortunately, GHOSTLAND is not what we’re looking for right now.
Best of luck in finding representation.
Sincerely,
Dawn
—–
If I could chose one more, it would definitely be this one.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for taking the time to submit your query to me.
Your story sounds promising.
At this moment in time, however, I choose to pass on your project. This does not automatically mean your query is not good enough. It simply means that I am not the right agent for this project. This can be for a number of reasons.
If you would like to know why, you can send a reply to this mail. Please change the subject line to: FEEDBACK / GHOSTLAND / YOUR NAME. I will respond to your request within two weeks.
Good luck with finding representation and keep on writing!
Kind regards,
Nicole34
2readornot says
I find this very interesting. Please send along the first 30 pages.
Anahita says
Dear Author:
Thanks for sharing your query. Sorry I can’t represent your work. Good luck!
Anahita
GuyStewart/DISCOVERCHURCH says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Notes like this are the hardest for me to write because while you came close, I can ultimately only represent those manuscripts I feel passionately about. Thank you for thinking of me. Good luck in placing this elsewhere.
Sincerely, Guy Stewart
Enusan says
Thank you for your query. This sounds like the sort of story I could really get behind, and your voice was easy on the eyes. Please send me the first chapter of your book at your earliest convenience.
Kathy says
Thank you for your well-written query. But I do feel that this theme has been done quite a few times before.
I’m afraid I cannot represent you at this time.
Sincerely,
Kathy
Saint_Fool says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel that your story is the right fit for me.
I would encourage you to submit to other agents
Best of luck.
Saint_Fool
This was intriguing, but for me the query lost focus in the latter part and the freckles made me wonder what the tone of the book actually was. Probably a mistake, but I’m passing.
That Girl says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I will have to pass at this time.
Best of luck,
That Agent Girl
Diana says
The plot sounds like it could be rather repetitive, but the query is well written and I would like to request.
Anonymous says
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this project is not a good fit for me. I appreciate your time and consideration, and wish you luck in finding representation.
Best,
Agent M
R. Markiam says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter and for thinking of me for representation of GHOSTLAND. While your novel sounds intriguing, I’m sorry to say I won’t be able to pursue it further with you. I wish you all the best in securing other representation.
Regards,
R. Markiam
MonkBoy says
Thank you for your query submission, but I’m afraid we’re not interested in your material at this time.
Best of luck,
Placebo Publications
Sara J. Henry says
Encouraging rejection[Reasons: This was in my top 10, vying for my last spot – some awkward phrasing bumped it out of contention. Sorry!]
Laura Martone says
Dear Author:
Thank you for submitting your query for consideration. I appreciate the time, energy, and passion that it required to complete “Ghostland”.
Unfortunately, given the thousands of queries that I receive annually, I can only request a small percentage of manuscripts for possible representation. While I find the subject matter of your novel intriguing, it does not meet my editorial needs at this time.
I am grateful for the opportunity to consider your work and wish you much luck in your future endeavors.
Sincerely,
Laura Martone
Livia says
Thank you for your query, but it is not a good fit for me. Best wishes.
Livia
Linta says
Dear Author
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately I’m not the right agent for you. Best of luck in finding your novel a home.
Regards
Agent for a day
[reasoning: too similar to Uglies and Unwind, with echoes of Gattaca. I’m also over reading about secret areas where the rejects go that are really paradise. Nice writing, though.]
chris says
Please send pages.
Sincerely,
Lowly Scribe