Rhetorical questions are clever, clever foes. Following yesterday’s blog post in which I stepped up my aerial bombardment and general attack mode against these pests, I subsequently had a night I will not soon forget. Not only did rhetorical questions convince UNNAMED CABLE PROVIDER WHO I LOATHE to mess up its programming guide so that I missed The Hills, RQ also enlisted hoards of mosquitoes to attack me throughout the night. Despite a 3:00 am counterattack in which I slayed 10 of these foul beasts with a dustbuster, I woke up with a bite on my eyelid.
Well played, rhetorical questions. Well played indeed.
But despite this additional setback, and despite the best efforts of you the intelligent and savvy readers and commenters, who put together some very intriguing rhetorical questions involving The Hills, peanut butter, and rhetorical questions about rhetorical questions, I am here to announce that there are two rhetorical questions that would officially circumvent my vendetta:
From Lawrence: “Are you perhaps wondering why I, Michael Chabon, am sending you this query?”
and reader burgy61 pointed out that the classic Bob Dylan song “Blowin’ in the Wind” is all rhetorical questions, and I subsequently acknowledged that “How many roads does a man walk down before you call him a man?” would probably catch my attention.
So I have an announcement: Michael Chabon and Bob Dylan are officially exempt from this rule. Otherwise, my feeling about them stands. I remain unconvinced that an opening to a query can be said better with a rhetorical question than with a non-question, and therefore I feel well-justified in my bias against them.
Especially now that they have enlisted the insect world to their cause.