At first you’re thinking of writing a novel and you’re all…
But then you have an idea!
And you go…
But then you hit page 50 and you’re all….
And then you hit page 75 and you’re all…
But you power through!!
And then you’re finished!!! You have finished a novel!!
Only then find out you have to start querying agents.
So you write your query letter…
You obsess over it…
And then you send it out to agents and you’re all…
Then a couple of days go by and you’re all…
And…
And…
But then you hear from your first agent!! And you’re all…
And…
And it’s a rejection. But it’s just your first one so you’re all…
Then you get a few more and it’s more like…
But then! An agent calls! And they love your work! They want to represent you! And inside you’re like…
But you don’t want your agent to think you’re crazy so instead you’re like…
And you love your agent! When you say “yes” you want to…
But instead you go…
And then it’s time to submit to publishers. You are back on submission, and you’re like…
Then the editors start saying….
And…
And your inbox starts looking like…
And you’re all…
And…
And…
But then your phone says your agent is calling. And you want to be like…
But instead it’s more like…
And it’s an offer! You have an offer! And you feel like…
And…
And…
And…
And then you go celebrate with your friends and they’re all…
And on the car ride home you’re still like…
But it’s time for revisions. And you pretend you know what you’re doing…
And it’s back to…
But then you’re done! You’re really really done! Only your book doesn’t come out for another year. And so you’re like…
And…
You get your cover and you’re all…
But then publication day approaches! And your reviews start coming out and it kind of feels like…
But some of them are good! And you’re like…
And then your book is out there! People are reading your book!
And it feels pretty good!
And there’s only one thing to do. Start the whole thing over again.
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I love this! Great GIF compilation, Nathan. Very amusing. 🙂
I really enjoyed that, thanks! How long did it take you to put it together?
I got about half way through before I could no longer relate. 🙁
(So funny!) Querying here…. just let me get to the Elf stage… THEN I'll be happy 🙂
OMG! This is awesome! I really needed that this Monday morning!
Brilliant!
Oh come on, didn't anyone else laugh wildly?
Well, I did. One of my virtues is "detects hilarity with high degree of accuracy."
P.S. Nathan your captchas are getting almost impossible to read.
I want to start every week laughing that hard! Thank you! So glad to know that all my very personal, unique literary moments are actually so universal it's trite. 😉
16 Thanks for this! I did actually laugh out loud when the "reviewer" fell from the ceiling on the passing by "author". I will share this with my students.
tears of laughter!
Absolutely brilliant!
This made my day!
Perfect! Wonderful!
Nice photo study of angst for writers.
This is innovative, hilarious and brilliant Nathan. I will re watch it each time I go through each stage again! Thanx 🙂
THIS.
I dunno, Nathan, this kinda comes across as though you're advocating going indie. 🙂
Yeah, that's pretty fantastic.
Heehee! This totally made my Monday morning! Thanks!! 🙂
Best post ever!!!
Spectacular!
Brilliant – you have been following my writing process clearly …
Advocating indie? Nathan isn't doing that at all. Are you joking? Who would go indie and miss out on the glory of this life-changing journey Nathan depicts where you end up … in the same place you … started …
Oh, never mind.
Brilliant! Thanks for the Monday laugh!
You need a hug for that one 🙂
Next up: do the one where the self-published author goes through all the steps until agent rejection, then self-pubs a substandard book on Amazon, and hires people to write book reviews for him or her on fiverr.com.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/08/26/business/book-reviewers-for-hire-meet-a-demand-for-online-raves.html?_r=3&pagewanted=2
This is funny, and accurate! Love it.
Genius. This one's going to go viral.
I laughed. I cried. Now I think I'm going to go puke.
It's just like the novel process!
LOVE.
Making fun of Indie authors is like making fun of small businesses. Just because a tomato you buy at a farmer's market doesn't have the uniform shape and color of the produce at your corporate supermarket doesn't mean it is lacking in nutrients or flavor.
Thanks, everyone! Rick, it took a few hours more than I was expecting, but (needless to say) it was really fun putting it together.
Interesting – Yes, I think I will have to start all over again.
Love it!!!! Well worth the loading time! 🙂
Love, love, love this. I could so identify. Must send over some writer pals. Especially loved the look on the kitten's face. : )
Instant classic. Call ESPN.
Best. Post. Ever. I so needed something like this today…
LOVE THIS. SO much. 🙂
Nathan,
HILARIOUS, DUDE!
And I'm all like . . . must share!
Thanks for the laughs,
Donna
Well done, sir!
Awesome doesn't being to describe this.
This was great!!!!
I never comment, but I just wanted you to know that I laughed and laughed and laughed. Thanks!
Oh yeah…
OMGORSH my life is continually in the state of Princess Giselle twirling around. Is there something wrong with that? There must be something wrong with that… lol 😀 In other news, this was so perfectly unexpected. I can't believe AN AGENT-TURNED-WRITER was willing to admit the feelings of a newly signed client in such candid emotions! Wow! You are turning to the dark side, Nathan! Bravo! Just stunning! 😀
OMG – I laughed so hard I have tears running down my face (and everyone in my office thinks I am a lunatic!)
Thank you Nathan! – I guess if everyone goes through these torturous emotions, maybe I am on the right path after all!!
This. Is. Awesome. I can only hope I make it to the end.
Made me smile. Back to revisions! 🙂
Every writer should see this!
Wonderful!
Every writer should see this!
Wonderful.
Pure. fucking. gold.
This made my day! Thanks, Nathan. 🙂
I'm in the blissful part. So far, everything else was true…
LOL, loved it. Does someone have too much time on his hands? Is it time to start a new book perhaps?
This looks like procrastination to me :O)
EXACTLY. The best was the kid having a tantrum on the sidewalk.
This is excellent, Nathan! Thank you for "getting it." And Claire, yes, he should start another book (if he hasn't already, that sly dog), but we need to make sure it doesn't deprive us of these great posts. 😉 j/k, sort of.
I have never seen something that has embodied the publishing process in such a clever, completely accurate way! You are clearly a very talented guy!! 🙂
You are brilliant. This made my day!
LAUGHED so HARD! Thanks for this, made my Monday.
Impressive and so spot on! Loved it!
Afraid to ask how LONG this took. But so awesome. And perfect.
Hysterical! Great post!
Hilarious!
It sure makes the whole process seem pretty torturous and never ending. We all must be crazy. 🙂
Perfect! True! Thanks!
Nathan, I don't think I've laughed this hard in MONTHS!
Thanks for posting this!
Ha – so funny! (In a kind of sad and terrifying way …) Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Thanks that was funny. So you much be waiting to hear back for someone. Too much time on your hands. Tee Hee! Love it. Do some more…..
Love it! And I just so happen to be reading JACOB WONDERBAR AND THE COSMIC SPACE KAPOW right now and I'm like: ^_^
Oh my gosh. What a crack up!
Wonderful. Brought back many memories.
If a picture tells a thousand words, that 47,000 words right there. Congratulations on a complete MG ms. Brilliant!
This is the best thing ever! I laughed till I cried on "Then you Power Through." Just awesomeness.
Hahahahahaha!! SO TRUE!!!
If you guys like this there's a whole hilarious gif website dedicated to writers and publishing that's been around for a while. http://www.title2come.tumblr.com
YES!!!!!
This is an amazing compilation that truly expresses the entire process!
One of THE best posts I have EVER read.
Patti
Perfect. Awesome. "Come at me, bro." ROFL…LOL…
Absolutely perfect!
I quite enjoyed that. Don't do too many of those, but awesome! And also, yes, your captcha is very very hard to read, and I am definitely human, and also have human eyesight.
This is freakin' brilliant.
absolutely LOVE this.
so extremely true. lmaooo.
OMG I love it! Exactly my feelings!
This is brilliant!!!
Really funny. You must have spent a lot of time on it.
I LOVE THIS! What an incredible idea!
29The one for page 75 is my favorite…and oh so accurate! 🙂
Excellent – I posted the link to this on my Facebook account. It tells the whole story.
Very right on. Well, write on. Very real indeed. The clips are from youtube–?
Well done!
LOVE. 🙂
Great job! I'm at the "Page 75" GIF, so it's back to work for me. Thanks for the laugh!
BEST. GIF. COMPILATION. EVERRRRRRRR!!
Just awesome.
Hands down, the best post of the week ( Oh, wait, it's only Monday… but still, it gets my vote, maybe even the best for the entire month!)
A – MAZ – ING! You nailed every step. At least I think so. I haven't taken every step, but I think this must be right.
Love the guy dropping from the ceiling! Why didn't I ever think of doing that? Great stuff, Nathan!
Nathan, I love you. That is all.
I love Spock falling to his knees. Thanks for the Monday laughs.
This is SO GREAT!
I cannot wait to get to the Elf Stage myself. Or even better, the Spinning Woman Stage!
Thank you for putting this together.
This is so fun! I love it!
This was SO entertaining and SO TRUE! Whatever the effort, thanks!
I swear to God, just before I saw this I was moping about how my story must have been rejected because I hadn't heard anything yet. Now I'm laughing my behind off! THANK YOU!
For some reason, I've always been of the opinion that as soon as an agent decides to represent you, the hard part is done and there's no need to stress.
NOW YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THERE'S MORE?! DX
(Jk, this was hilarious xD. Although it does seem like there's still a lot about the publishing process–and it's emotional stakes–that I just don't know of yet).
Awesome, Nathan!! LOVE it!!!
I remember some of those stages well. Some, I have yet to experience. Thanks, Nathan, for a laugh.
Thanks for the laugh, Nathan. Pauline
This hits so many nails on the head. I'm showing it to friends and family who don't write to give them a taste of what my writing life is like. Thanks.
Most hilarious and truthful post I've seen all day.
BEST. This is why you win, Nathan Bransford.
Ok I'm not done. The best gif is the friends, all "Cheers, well done," and you're like "NO YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE YEARS OFF MY LIFE BECAUSE OF THIS. But okay. Thanks. Cheers."
lol so funny I am at rewriting/revising phase but you hit it on the mark I truly enjoyed it, and laughter helps during the various phases of getting agented/ published
"Come at me, bro!" Love it. Classic. Thank you.
Yep, this is pretty much it, except I always thought the writing process is more like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-M30g3In8ao
Oh, this is wonderful, Nathan.
And I don't think it's a small thing!
You've created a multi-media art form that hundreds of people enjoyed today and will stay on your blog forever for new visitors to love.
AND, if you ever write a digital book about a relevant topic, you can link it.
And, I bet it was incredibly fun to create. 🙂
So AWESOME! 🙂
And I agree, the captchas are awful. Not your fault, I have no idea why Blogger is doing that. You can barely read them.
Nailed it. Bravo!
Hilarious, thank you!! And so true!
Eh…maybe this was generally true five years ago (and the writing part at the beginning is still mostly true), but I'm an indie writer and frankly, I have no desire to seek out agents or publishers at this time. The contracts are just too unfavorable, and I'm having way too much fun doing it myself. But the emotional roller coaster on the indie side is pretty similar, though the milestones are completely different (First sale! First month without any sales! First five star review! First one star review! First royalty check! First email from a fan!). It would be interesting to see the GIFs for that one.
Oh man, I laughed. Nice to know we all go through the same agony and joy while trying to appear cool and professional. Awesome.
I loved this! I'm a new follower and also in the querying stage, somewhere between kicking girl in striped tights and the guy who hates everything.
This is brilliant! Thanks for this Nathan. Made my day:-)
This is me reading this:
(nodding gif)
(laughing gif)
(holding gut gif)
This is too creative. Thanks for sharing.
After a day of dealing with…let's just say copyright issues…this made my day. Thank you. Much needed laugh.
And thanks for letting me know I'm not the only emotional hosebeast when it comes to this process.
OMFG I freakin love this!! XD
Hahah, I love this. And someday hope to get to the very end of it in my own career 😉
This is astounding. Loved it. So, spot on!
Amazing job, Nathan! Thanks! Only you could create something as clever as this. Like watching my life in the movies, actually. Good to know my emotional reactions are so universal. Wondering where you got all those anis from…
Brilliant! I would so love to see this go viral. It would do a lot of writers a lot of good in the chuckle department. 😉
How long did this take you to put together? I laughed hysterically! Thanks for that, Nathan. I'll be linking to that and sharing it!
Thank you for the great post. Very creative!
You made me laugh. This is so exactly IT. Thanks.
All I will say is…Amazing…
This was great. Well done and thanks.
Okay, so who's the superstar? You are, oh yes you are. So amazing, and soooo much fun!!
I'm just tapping the edge of Conan O'Brien, but oh… I laughed until I hurt!
It's very rare that I laugh out loud this early in the morning from reading a blog post. Holy cow!!!! This is sooooo funny. I am new to writing and I was cracking up and thinking….Nathan Bransford has these feelings, too. You nailed it!! Again…cracking up!!!!!
Too awesome. =^)
I love this. The only problem is, the writer here seems to be sending out a first draft. Where's the circle of hell that is rewriting and editing and rewriting again and editing that rewrite and oh God it's still terrible, when will it end? You know?
ABSOLUTELY LOVED this, Nathan!! It was def worth your time and effort! I bet it took some work. IO couldn't stop smiling as I watched. Thank you!
Epic! You kept me laughing at how terribly and awesomely accurate it is.
Perfect.
You rock!
Love this! Absolutely love it!
Hasn't this been done by Title2Come?
Awesome!!!
Hysterical! So true.
LOVED it! Absolutely brilliant. 😀
So funny! What a great job! Thanks for the laugh!
Absolutely hysterical and so cute! Made my day, thanks!
Scarily accurate, hilariously true.
And it never ends…
This post should come with a box of kleenex because I'm crying I laughed so hard.
Even if you don't experience all the steps it's still hilarious to watch and imagine !
lol…That was great!
This is absolutely brilliant. I could relate all the way to the end. Working on rewrites today for my agent, so this was a great laugh!
What a great example of a visual essay! Such an effect would never be created via words alone, or even through words and pictures. Words and videos? YES!
I really needed a good laugh today and this did it for me! Thank you!
Truly awesome–and right on target–visual. I'm in the submission stage (to publishers) and loving that so many people "get" it.
I barely started looking at this post, before calling my husband over to join me. When we reached the bottom he says: "Definitely clip that to Evernote – so we can save it forever."
Awesome post. Poignant.
This was just so freaking funny… I'm glad YOU got an agent. My book is non-fiction memoir, so I am self-publshing! But this just CRACKED me up. Despite it all, I've lived through almost all of this (aside from the agent part. LOL) and am finishing up my book this month! 🙂
So-o-o Funny and So-o-o True!!
Laughed 'til I cried!
Wow, this is the best and funniest representation ever!!!
Laughing harder, and harder, and harder . . .
I simply cannot stop laughing! Tears are rolling down my face! Well done. As a writer, I totally relate to that 😀
I can't stop laughing. PERFECT explanation. Thanks!
Touchdown; Nathan Bransford!!!!
Bill
bwahahah! My girlfriend and I were laughing until tears rolls down our cheeks.
I'm getting ready to jump into this, and I'm terrified. I'm going to have to keep this as inspiration.
Hilarious … and sad but true! 🙂
Standing ovation! Every author should see it. Thanks for all the hard work putting it together. =)
Wow.
Great!
This is both hilariously funny and frighteningly accurate! Love it! 😀
Still at GIF three…maybe four….
You left out the most important next part–which is terrible sales, no marketing dollars behind your book, then never selling another novel again to a traidtional publisher because your career ended after a lousy four weeks on the shelves. I'd end it the right way, though–going indie and making a killing on Amazon with ebooks–which is the way of great authors these days.
LOVED this, Nathan. Thank you! I haven't had such a good laugh in a looonngg time!
Love it!
Inspired! Great mix of text and visual. You are inspired.
Ok. This may be your best post EVER. HA!
Amazing! Love it!
So creative and spot on. Too funny.
I left out a few pieces: your wife leaves you for another man, critics hate your first book, and some special interest groups want to staple you to the wall.
🙂
This is the best compilation! Ever!
Absolutely made my day. I checked it out three times today, just for that chuckle. Perfect depiction. Go Nathan!
That was certainly fun to go through.
Yeah, I imagine that's what it's like:) Loved those GIFs! Especially the writing ones. too funny.
Priceless!
LOVE this. Can't to experience every freaking detail.
Adorable! Perfect! Fascinating!
You've been spying on me!!!
AWESOMESAUCE!!!!
We must be all crazy to put ourselves through all this, because everybit of it's true. But again, writers are strange people, aren't we? I loved this and giggled all morning.thanks for starting my day out with such humor.
Huzzah! Nicely played, sir.
Amazing! So good!
I L O V E this!!! OMG so fabulous. I'm still laughing. You nailed it. Completely. I'd like to keep laughing but instead I should get back to work on a painful overly obsessed query letter.
The sheer awesomenacity of this made my entire week!! Thank you for that :]
Brilliant. Loved it. Found it through Scribophile – the online writing/critiquing group. Lots of people to share it with. Well done.
Hilarious!
'And it's an offer! You have an offer! And you feel like…'
Very cool and so true.
Loved this!
This inspired me to keep trying after my recent stack of "no-thank-you's" came back. I needed that nudge. Thanks!
Awesome!
This was priceless! Nice to be ROFL when it's late and I still have a lot of work to do. Thanks!
Your video montage made me laugh so hard I woke up my 8 month old, ooopps.
that was really … long.
Awesome, Nathan!!:)
This is absolutely awesome. I laughed until any metaphor for how MUCH I laughed would be inappropriate to write on a stranger's blog. A very funny and realistic representation of what getting a book out there is like, for most people.
A ray of hope, though: this is actually pretty inaccurate for people whose first step is learning the craft. Getting published is easier than getting an agent, for one thing. For another, getting a good agent means they'll negotiate with publishers and, if you've written a good book (which a good agent will be able to judge) it will sell. The hard parts are two-fold: learning to write, and selling quality work for more money than you can feed a cat with.
As Scott Bradfield, Paul McAuley and Ian Banks said to me, "Keep writing and reading and you'll get it." Now I'm represented by one of the biggest agents in the world: the same gal who represented Anthony Burgess. I help explain how this happened on my blog, if anyone is interested. The thing is, goals don't come, they get grabbed. Now get back to work and stop flitting around the internet. I'm going to go now and take a bit of my own advice.
Wm. Luke Everest
everestbyfog.blogspot.com
That was fantastic – I'm just at stage where i'm about to get a look at the cover and awaiting those reviews. Very and couldn't be more true.
Oh my goodness- LOVE it! Thanks 😀
Absolutely Brilliant!
Just…yeah, I have nothing more to add. It's perfection.
I just couldn't look away… Falling in…
B^)
Love it!
*hugs* Finally! Someone who understands how I really feel. 😀 LOL LOVED THIS POST!
Very clever and funny, thanks 🙂
FYI your post is the subject of our story on the Daily Dot. How meta!
Brilliant!
Sei Bravo! (You are awesome). I am now Internet Guy but someday . . . Elf! Benvenuti from Siena where I am writing Eat–Have Sex–Get Fat. Nathan you are like a really great big brother. Thanks for sharing your knowledge so freely and making me laugh.
You are too much.
You nailed it. So fun. Thanks for the laughs.
Love it!!! It's so true! Especially the dive-bombing review moment and the hey I've published, awesome feeling… replaced by the big Oh feeling… and the hamster wheel starts again. So funny! And that Hugh jiggle always gets me giggling.
Brilliant.
That might be a masterpiece. Can't wait for the sequel.
This wins so very much!
Hysterical and so true. What you've cleverly described is EXACTLY how writing and publishing works. Well done, Nathan!
Ahahahahahaa. Nathan, you had too much time on your hands, dude. LOL. This was hysterical! You didn't add any procrastination gifs in there. Maybe later.
Ahahha. Nathan, that is hysterical, dude. I think you had too much time on your hands. 😛 LOL. There weren't any procrastination gifs, I noticed. Maybe later.
Wonder if Kathryn Stockett felt like that after her 60th rejection?
This is awesome!! Thanks for posting it, Nathan, especially the reminder at the end. It's true what they say: life is a journey, not a destination!!
FUNNIEST. POST. EVER. I laughed my butt off! Awesome!!
Excellent – made me chuckle 🙂
Superb! Very funny- I think? Thank you for sharing 🙂
Seriously, I laughed so hard I cried. 😀 Sharing!
Oh Lordy, lordy, this is HYSTERICAL!! Can i somehow post this on my wall?
sorry-for those multiple comments. I think my phone has a bug. 🙁
Absolutely YES!! I laughed so hard I almost stopped writing for a few seconds!!!!!
It is soooo true and I loved it – thanks for that hug from the inside as my book launch is tomorrow and I am doing most if not ALL of those faces!!
Utterly brilliant. You've nailed it. I have tears of laughter streaming down my face. Thanks!
I was absolutely ROLLING was I was reading this! Hilarious! (Even though I'm still I'm only halfway through personally….I'm SURE that's how I'd be for the rest of the steps too!) =)
Hysterical! Thanks for putting this together! 🙂
Rod Arters, Writer – on FB
I never got to the "getting an agent" part but I did self-publish and it feels very similar to everything in your post. Well done!
SUPER FUN!
Love it! Thank you!
I would be super happy if Bernie read my novel! I hope to finish it in six months. One can hope I hope!
The Hugh Grant dance is my acceptance dance. I'm so not kidding right now. I play the song and dance like Hugh. Laughed and cried all the way through. Thanks, Nathan.
I haven't laughed SO hard in a long time. I needed this! Nathan you are SO awesome!
Good grief this is funny post. LOL!
I laughed out loud! For real. 🙂 Thank you. That was amazing.
I just kind of ran into your blog and have to say I love it and it's now bookmarked. It is quite helpful and I lOVE this post. As much of a pain as it sounds I had to laugh because I'm going through the first stages of writing a full fledged novel and look forward to the rest of the experience. The good the bad and the ugly.
Noice! And pretty much exact from my experience.
Love this post!
Awesome! Best post I've seen in a while! You nailed the emotional process of publishing : ) ~ Jess
Hah! I'm currently querying and have gotten my first set of rejections, up to this point it is so terrifyingly accurate. I just hope the happiness stage is to follow 🙂
Haha…This is funny! Love it though!!! So that's the publishing process in a nutshell, huh. Well, I see I have a lot of fun to look forward to 🙂
dude – I don't know your work but I just came across this (funny the things you find on the net when you're pretending to write) and i actually cried. yep, tears of laughter. it is so true. you've transcended the GIF genre. thanks and well done !
That was awesome! Know just about every one of those emotions. So is this a good place to blog my recent book release? Dream Wedding Secrets: The All Important G.S.F by Eric Gulbrandson. It's the guest's perspective of the perfect wedding. It contains quotes from over 200 guests about what makes a wedding great or no so great for them as guests.
This is so brilliant! I love this!
So good I had to comment.
this is perfect for people who are NOT writers, so f*** you and the c*** you rode in on
Love the humorous twist on reality! Brilliant!
Terrific Nathan, and speaking as someone who received a lovely rejection from you, (honestly you were quite kind) and who has published many times, I think you've nailed it. I am particularly fond of Bert.
This really makes me entertained.
thank you
Nathan, you should be honoured with a Ticker Tape Parade. Save the shredded paper:P
Beautiful.Thank you!
lovely……..
You nailed it! Too funny
The display of brilliance, in blogger format.
Very cool and creative..thanks for insight and the laugh
I haven't laughed so hard, so long, and until I nearly threw up for years! Finally, someone who understands!
Awesome!!! story as gif series… I enjoyed the GIF Story… But not just a story, every one who starts some thing goes through this..
This was so fun and I especially laughed at the "come at me bro" owl. Great stuff! I haven't even gotten to the elf losing his mind stage yet. Can't wait for that stage!
OMG–thank you for this. It made my day!!
Very funny, Nathan!
Absolutely made my day! Thanks!
Unfortunately, your animations only reinforces that writing in today's publishing environment guarantees that the author will be treated like the lowest form of life in ancient feudal systems.
What can we do to revolutionize creative writing so that the true writers, no matter how small they are, can get their work out for regular people to see?
And, yes, I do mean that publishers, editors, agents, and even the creators of this web page seem to have lost touch with regular people…
Ha! Brilliant.
Oh the feels.
My life exactly…at least looking at it from this perspective I have something to laugh about.
Really funny & clever! "MY Emotions!"
Best synopsis of writing a book I've ever seen haha! Too funny….