This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here
Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!
I’d like to bring your attention to a manuscript I am shopping around to agents. As writers and readers yourselves I am hoping that you may have interest in this particular book.
In The Price two elves decide to defect from their kingdom and make new lives in a neighboring land, but when they attempt to leave they are thwarted by the river god that both protects and imprisons their people. The god exacts a price from the elves and casts them out into the neighboring kingdom far from each other. The novel follows one of those elves as he looks for his lost companion and comes to terms with the concessions he made to his god in return for his freedom.
The Price is a semi-high fantasy novel that combines the sensibilities of fable with deeper philosophical questions about loss and loyalty. I have published short stories and some poetry previously, but this is my first completed novel.
Thank you for your time, and I hope to hear from you soon,
Author
STATS:
Arkham says
Dear Author,
I regret to inform you that I am not interested in representing your story. I hope you have better luck in the future.
Best of luck,
Arkham
Arkham says
Dear Author,
I regret to inform you that I am not interested in representing your story. I hope you have better luck in the future.
Best of luck,
Arkham
LateInTheGame says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I am not the best representative for your work.
Good luck in your search for representation.
All the best,
Agent LateInTheGame
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the submission, but I regret to inform you that I will not be picking up your story.
Keep Writing,
Agent Jackie Moon
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I have decided not to take up your offer on publishing this book. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to view your material.
Thank You,
Happy Gilmore
Anonymous says
Dear author,
I appreciate your query and found your concept interesting; however, it is just not what I am looking for. I look forward to future queries from you!
Thank you, Scarlett Cyrus
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
I would very much like to thank you for submitting your query, unfortunately it’s not right for me.
Sincerely,
Agent Sunshine
Dorothy says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your query. I have a continuing interest in fantasy novels and conflict with the gods. However, based on your letter I have insufficient data to make a decision about representation. How long is the book? Is this YA or adult fantasy? What important events develop the plot and enhance the conflict? Re-query if you wish.
sincerely,
Honesty is the Best Policy
Reba says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, it is not the right fit for me.
Best,
Reba
(Please brush up on punctuation.)
Kate H says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent you, but I wish you the best of luck.
Kate H
Meggrs says
Kindly worded form rejection.
Query doesn’t hook me–no sense of intimacy with the main characters.
s.koncilja says
Dear Author,
I received and read your query. Unfortunately it is not something that I’m looking for at the moment.
Keep me informed about your future work and good luck!
Agent S.K.
superwench83 says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, your manuscript isn’t right for me. Best wishes in your search for an agent.
Sincerely,
Agent for a Day
Michelle says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query, but unfortunately this is not what I’m looking for at this time.
Sincerely,
Michelle
publishingcareer says
Dear Author
Thank you for expressing your interest in our agency and submitting your query for your novel The Price.
I read it with interest but unfortunately it is not what I am looking for.
Best of luck and kind regards.
Yours faithfully
Robert Sullivan AFAD
Melissa says
Form rejection:
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately it doesn’t meet my needs at this time.
Thank you and best of luck,
Melissa (Ximera)
Nikki Hensley says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I don’t think I am the right agent for this novel. Best of luck in your search!
Agent Nikki
vicariousrising says
Thank you for your submission. I regret that I don’t feel this project isn’t right for me.
I wish you the best in your writing endeavors.
Kendra says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your work. Unfortunately, this is not a project I feel I can sucessfully represent. Good luck in your writing.
Kendra
Agent FaD Jen says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the query. Unfortunately, I am going to have to pass. Good luck,
Agent FaD Jen
Reason: The information in the query focuses on the story set-up, not the actual plot of the book. There is no sense of the conflict the elf faces while he is searching for his friend. If this elf is simply wandering around, it could well be a very boring story.
Hildegarde512 says
Thank you for submitting however [If I were a real agent, a GENTLE FORM REJECTION would exist here].
just this girl says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to Be an Agent for a day. I found your premise interesting and would like to read an extract. Please send me the first three chapters and a 2-3 page synopsis at your convenience.
Yours sincerely,
Just this girl
Heather says
Dear Author,
Thank you very much for taking the time to query our agency. I have given your project thoughtful consideration; unfortunately, it is not a good fit for us at this time because, although the project seems to be unique, I had some difficulty with your word choice in the query letter, and feel the manuscript may need extensive editing prior to being ready for shopping at publishing houses; however, after a revision of your query letter and/or partial manuscript, please feel free to resubmit to my attention.
Sincerely,
Heather
genkischuldich says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to us. However, we regret to inform you that we are unable to accept you as a client at this point in time.
The opening is too casual and the plot needs more description.
Thank you for thinking of us.
“Genki”
Rik says
Thank you for submitting your book – The Price – for my consideration. Regrettably, I do not feel that I am able to represent this work for you. Best wishes for your future endeavours. Agent Rik.
Martin Willoughby says
(form rejection)
abouttothunder says
Dear Author,
Thank you for the opportunity to represent your work. Unfortunately, it isn’t a good fit for me. Since you deserve an agent who will fully support you project, I will have to pass.
I wish you the best of luck in finding representation.
Sincerely,
Agent-for-a-day Sara
P.S. The query could use more plot specifics. The synopsis is too general, and doesn’t give any reason to invest in the character.
GuyStewart/DISCOVERCHURCH says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your query, but I’m going to have to pass. I do not feel strongly enough about your story to represent it well.
Sincerely, Guy Stewart
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for considering me. Unfortunately I have to pass. Reason for rejection – personal taste.
Best of Luck!
Agent X-9
SuzieQ Agent4U says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel your book is right for me. Good luck with your search.
Best,
S
AndrewDugas says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, but I do not believe I would be the best advocate for your novel. I wish you luck in finding representation elsewhere.
Sincerely,
Andy
Julie says
Dear Author,
Although I find your premise intriguing, I do not think I would be the best advocate for this book. Best of luck and please feel free to query me with future projects.
Best regards,
FakeAgent
ludwig snarf says
i regret that i am unable to help you
PCB says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query. We are not in a position to represent you at this time, but wish you all the very best in your writing endeavors.
Sincerely,
PCB
Madhat says
Dear Author:
I’m going to have to pass.
-Agent
Why: I don’t think there’s enough description here to intrigue me.
Dawn says
Dear Author,
Thank you for contacting Dawn Ink.
Unfortunately, The Price is not what we’re looking for right now.
Best of luck in finding representation.
Sincerely,
Dawn
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for taking the time to submit your query to me.
At this moment in time, however, I choose to pass on your project. This does not automatically mean your query and/or work isn’t good enough. It simply means that I am not the right agent for this project. This can be for a number of reasons.
If you would like to know why, you can send a reply to this mail. Please change the subject line to: FEEDBACK / THE PRICE / YOUR NAME.
I will respond to your request within two weeks.
Good luck with finding representation and keep on writing!
Kind regards,
Nicole34
2readornot says
I’m afraid this doesn’t intrigue me as much as it needs to — good luck!
Anahita says
Dear Author:
Thanks for sharing your query. Sorry I can’t represent your work. Good luck!
Anahita
That Girl says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I will have to pass at this time.
Best of luck,
That Agent Girl
Diana says
Great premise, unfortunately, I’m reaching my limit and still have to decide between some other ones. A little more detail may have helped, such as descriptions of the worlds that the elves travel to, how the river god came to be, etc. You mention fable, so what lessons are we supposed to extract?
Saint_Fool says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel that your story is the right fit for me.
Best of luck.
Saint_Fool
Enusan says
Thank you for your query. Your premise seems original in a genre that tends to be very formulaic, which is a plus, but beyond that there is not enough information about the story itself for me to request a partial. I would rewrite your query with more information about the plot beyond the set up and resubmit.
R. Markiam says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter and for thinking of me for representation of THE PRINCE. While your novel sounds intriguing, I’m sorry to say I won’t be able to pursue it further with you. I wish you all the best in securing other representation.
Regards,
R. Markiam
Livia says
Thank you for your query, but it is not a good fit for me. Best wishes.
Livia
MonkBoy says
Thank you for your query submission, but I’m afraid we’re not interested in your material at this time.
Best of luck,
Placebo Publications
Sara J. Henry says
Form rejection[Reasons: First two sentences are a waste of agent’s time – get on with the story! And the story didn’t grab me.]
Laura Martone says
Dear Author:
Thank you for submitting your query for consideration. I appreciate the time, energy, and passion that it required to complete “The Price”.
Unfortunately, given the thousands of queries that I receive annually, I can only request a small percentage of manuscripts for possible representation. While I find the subject matter of your novel intriguing, it does not meet my editorial needs at this time.
I am grateful for the opportunity to consider your work and wish you much luck in your future endeavors.
Sincerely,
Laura Martone
Linta says
Dear Author
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately I’m not the right agent for you. Best of luck in finding your novel a home.
Regards
Agent for a day
[reasoning: I’m not at all into elves. And I haven’t a clue what the conflict here is.]
chris says
Thank you for your query, but your project isn’t right for us at this time. Best of luck in your endeavors.