This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here
Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!
Dear Agent for a Day,
Now that Dan Taylor’s back home in North Carolina, and a rookie detective for the Raleigh Major Crimes Unit, he can’t be sure which part will be the worst:
The deadly mistake from his past?
The constant battle with his faith?
Harris, the senior partner he hates?
Or their first case together?
Someone is picking off members of the southern publishing industry using a variety of religious punishments, and calling himself ‘The Messenger.’ Taylor and Harris receive a cryptic note announcing that they have just one weekend to discover what ‘the message’ is, and the bodies keep piling up. They must battle the Messenger, the FBI, their captain, and each other, all while finding a way to save a writer they may dislike more than the killer. As the deadline closes in, Dan discovers an ally he never expected to hear from again, and finds himself fighting to save his family and his life.
Complete at approximately 70,000 words, THE MESSENGER is a fast-paced mystery with an inexperienced protagonist who must reexamine his beliefs and his resolve in the face of the most dangerous thing he’s ever encountered.
My first short story is forthcoming in the next issue of Spinetingler Magazine, and I teach high school British Literature and Creative Writing in North Carolina. This is my first novel.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Author
STATS: 8% request rate
genkischuldich says
Oh dear. Please ignore the post above. An attempt at a form letter gone hideously wrong. This is what it should say:
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to us. However, we regret to inform you that we are unable to accept you as a client at this point in time.
The plot is interesting, but I didn’t really like list the questions at the start.
Thank you for thinking of us.
“Genki”
GuyStewart/DISCOVERCHURCH says
Dear Author:
Thank you for your query, but I’m going to have to pass. I do not feel strongly enough about your story to represent it well.
Sincerely, Guy Stewart
Meggrs says
Kindly-worded form rejection.
SuzieQ Agent4U says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel your book is right for me. Good luck with your search.
Best,
S
AndrewDugas says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, but I do not believe I would be the best advocate for your novel. I wish you luck in finding representation elsewhere.
Sincerely,
Andy
===================
While I am sympathetic with the idea of someone “picking off members of the southern publishing establishment,” this novel feels like it’s trying to do too much. The faith-conflicted cop, the dislikable writer, etc.
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for considering me. I can see this being picked up elsewhere, but unfortunately I have to pass.
Best of Luck!
Agent X-9
PCB says
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query. We are not in a position to represent you at this time, but wish you all the very best in your writing endeavors.
Sincerely,
PCB
Madhat says
Dear Author:
I’m going to have to pass.
-Agent
Why: It doesn’t sound original enough. Every detective story is either about a rookie detective or a hardboiled detective. Why not write about a middle-aged detective who actually likes detecting? That would be different.
donnas says
Thank you for your submission, but I feel that this is not the right fit for me at this time.
Best of luck.
Dawn says
Thank you for contacting Dawn Ink.
Please send me the first chapter of THE MESSENGER via email.
Sincerely,
Dawn
—–
I really liked this premise and the writing.
Owl Sprite says
Dear Author,
Thank you so much for sending me your query for “The Messenger.” Unfortunately, it doesn’t match my needs at this time. If you have any other projects in the future, please do consider me.
Best wishes in your search for representation,
Owl Sprite
(comment – I like the style of your query and suspect the writing is top notch. However, the “religious fanatic” concept kind of turned me off. It makes me think that the main character is going to decide to become an atheist, which would disappoint me. However, a really hard, sincere examination of what makes a person believe in God and why, would be really fresh and welcome. Some pages might have helped me get a feel for what you were going to do with it.)
Anonymous says
Dear Author,
Thank you for taking the time to submit your query to me.
At this moment in time, however, I choose to pass on your project. This does not automatically mean your query isn’t good enough. It simply means that I am not the right agent for this project. This can be for a number of reasons.
If you would like to know why, you can send a reply to this mail. Please change the subject line to: FEEDBACK / THE MESSENGER / YOUR NAME. I will respond to your request within two weeks.
Good luck with finding representation and keep on writing!
Kind regards,
Nicole34
2readornot says
I’m afraid this didn’t capture my attention as strongly as it needs to — good luck!
Anahita says
Dear Author:
Thanks for sharing your query. Sorry I can’t represent your work. Good luck!
Anahita
Diana says
The opening of the query seemed a bit gimmicky to me. The plot seems very interesting, however. I would like to get to know Dan, more, however, though you bring up those questions, it’s hard to understand who he is…where has he been before he returned home, he seems like an older man but he is a rookie? What challenges him about his faith?
That Girl says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I will have to pass at this time.
Best of luck,
That Agent Girl
Kathy says
Thank you for your query. I’m going to have to pass on this project.
Best of luck to you.
Sincerely,
Kathy
Enusan says
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I’ll have to pass. Your protagonist and his situation sounds really interesting, but the nature of the crimes in the book were much less so. Were I more open for representation I would request a partial, but for now I’m passing. Good luck.
Saint_Fool says
Dear Author,
After reading your query, I would like to request that you e-mail me the first 30 pages of The Messenger.
My usual response time is three to four weeks. If you have not heard from me in that time, feel free to e-mail me.
Sincerely
Saint Fool
Hmm … Faith and murder. The query isn’t perfect but I’ll give it a go.
R. Markiam says
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter and for thinking of me for representation of The Messenger. While your novel sounds intriguing, I’m sorry to say I won’t be able to pursue it further with you. You truly were in my “would accept if I could go beyond 5 category.” Because I was on the fence with your query, I want to provide some reasoning beyond the standard rejection and let you know that the phrases “a variety of religious punishments” and “the bodies keep piling up”
were ones that didn’t work for me. Please know that I am a literary agent only for a day so my opinion may be taken with many grains of salt. I wish you all the best in securing other representation.
Regards,
R. Markiam
MonkBoy says
Thank you for your query submission, but I’m afraid we’re not interested in your material at this time.
Best of luck,
Placebo Publications
Sara J. Henry says
Form rejection[Reason: Doesn’t excite me]
ludwig snarf says
I regret that we cannot help you
Laura Martone says
Dear Author:
Thank you for submitting your query for consideration. I appreciate the time, energy, and passion that it required to complete “The Messenger”.
Unfortunately, given the thousands of queries that I receive annually, I can only request a small percentage of manuscripts for possible representation. While I find the subject matter of your novel intriguing, it does not meet my editorial needs at this time.
I am grateful for the opportunity to consider your work and wish you much luck in your future endeavors.
Sincerely,
Laura Martone
Livia says
Thank you for your query, but it is not a good fit for me. Best wishes.
Livia
Linta says
Dear Author
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately I’m not the right agent for you. Best of luck in finding your novel a home.
Regards
Agent for a day
[reasoning: too much going on in the novel; not focussed enough. And I’m not into faith/religion stories.]
chris says
Thank you for your query, but your project isn’t right for us at this time. Best of luck in your endeavors.
chris says
Thank you for your query, but your project isn’t right for us at this time. Best of luck in your endeavors.