• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Essentials
    • How the Publishing Process Works
    • How to Write a Novel
    • How to Edit a Novel
    • How to write a nonfiction book proposal
    • Writing advice database
    • Book publishing glossary
    • Writing and book publishing FAQs
    • Blog Directory
  • Agents
    • What literary agents do
    • How to Find a Literary Agent
    • Literary agent etiquette
    • How to write a query letter
    • The Basic Query Template
    • How to write a synopsis
  • Self-Publishing
    • How to self-publish a book
    • Should You Self-Publish or Traditionally Publish?
    • How to decide where to self-publish
    • How to choose a cover
    • How to Determine Your Price Point When Self-Publishing
    • How to make the leap from self-publishing to traditional publishing
    • How to market a book

Nathan Bransford

Author

  • Books
  • Editing
  • About

The Most Largely Indispensable First Paragraph Is…

October 29, 2007 by Nathan Bransford 56 Comments

Thank you so much to everyone who entered in and voted in the Largely Indispensable First Paragraph Challenge! Turnout was unprecedented, quality was high, and livers were destroyed. Thanks again also to May Vanderbilt for her help picking the finalists.

The people have spoken, and while the voting was extremely close, we have a winner. The author of the most largely indispensable first paragraph is….

EMILY RYAN-DAVIS. Whose last name I initially transposed when I announced the finalists (sorry about that!). Emily’s winning paragraph is:

Life inside a piano isn’t all knitting cobweb sweaters and napping. It’s dangerous. Every time a clumsy student flings himself at the bench and bangs on the ivories, just to see his fingers walk across the black and whites, I face death. The action’s unpredictable. If I’m in the wrong place at the wrong time, I could lose my head.

Whew! And that concludes the Largely Indispensable First Paragraph Challenge. Please stay tuned this week as we return to our regularly scheduled blog programming.

Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Related

Filed Under: Contests Tagged With: contests

Subscribe to the blog!

Receive the blog directly in your inbox when there are new posts!

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Heidi says

    October 29, 2007 at 4:11 pm

    Nathan, thank you so much for this time-consuming contest! I have only recently started my process of getting published, and I am learning so much from reading your blog. Hopefully it will make me appear less an idiot when I start submitting! I laugh out loud reading your posts, and have taken to using the phrase, “for the love of JustinBobby” quite liberally! So thank you for your help, and the huge dose of levity you add to my day!

    Reply
  2. Amanda says

    October 29, 2007 at 4:11 pm

    Yay Emily!!!!

    YOU GO GIRL!!!!

    ^_^

    Reply
  3. Precie says

    October 29, 2007 at 4:15 pm

    Congratulations, Emily!

    And thank you yet again, Nathan and May! You both did an astounding job!

    Nathan, I eagerly await your next challenge! LOL!

    Reply
  4. V L Smith says

    October 29, 2007 at 4:18 pm

    Hooray for Emily!

    Thanks to Nathan and his lovely assistant, May.

    This has been fun and educational. I can’t wait to see what your twisted mind springs on us next!

    Reply
  5. eric says

    October 29, 2007 at 4:23 pm

    Add me to the “Congrats and well done to Emily” column as well as the “Thank you very much to Nathan and May” crowd.

    Reply
  6. Luc2 says

    October 29, 2007 at 4:46 pm

    Congrats, Emily! Well deserved.

    And thanks, May and Nathan.

    Reply
  7. Mary says

    October 29, 2007 at 4:48 pm

    Three cheers for Emily, and a standing ovation for Nathan and May!!!

    Reply
  8. jeanne says

    October 29, 2007 at 4:52 pm

    Well done, Emily!

    Thanks Nathan and May!

    Reply
  9. Melanie Avila says

    October 29, 2007 at 4:57 pm

    Congratulations Emily! Can we get a second or third paragraph?

    Thanks for another fabulous contest!

    Reply
  10. Roxan says

    October 29, 2007 at 5:02 pm

    Congratulations to Emily.

    Nathan, I think your next contest should be who has the most soap opera sounding character names. Ha.

    Reply
  11. Josephine Damian says

    October 29, 2007 at 5:03 pm

    Precie, maybe Nathan’s next contest will be the:
    Ginormous Be All and End All Last Line Competition?

    🙂

    Reply
  12. Sue Eves says

    October 29, 2007 at 5:04 pm

    Congratulations Emily and the runners up!

    Thanks Nathan for the Largely Indispensable First Paragraph Challenge – it was wholly indispensable and fun!

    Reply
  13. Josephine Damian says

    October 29, 2007 at 5:09 pm

    Or the:

    Let’s See If We Can Make Blogger Explode By Posting Our Entire First Page Contest?

    Reply
  14. Fiona says

    October 29, 2007 at 5:12 pm

    Congratulations, Emily.
    I would love to read more.

    Reply
  15. Josephine Damian says

    October 29, 2007 at 5:18 pm

    Or something pithy and punchy like a Hollywood-style pitch contest?

    For example:

    My novel is: Kill Bill meets Little Miss Sunshine with a twist of Men in Black.

    Ok. I’ll stop now before Nathan blocks me.

    Congrats to Emily!

    Reply
  16. Precie says

    October 29, 2007 at 6:24 pm

    LMAO, Josephine! I was thinking along the lines of your “break Blogger” contest. 😉

    Reply
  17. Tom Judah says

    October 29, 2007 at 6:35 pm

    Well done Emily and congrat’s for a job well done!!

    Thanks again to both Nathan and May for their time and death of their livers…

    Tom

    Reply
  18. Maya Reynolds says

    October 29, 2007 at 6:49 pm

    Congratulations to Emily and to all the finalists and participants.

    There were some absolutely terrific first paragraphs. I’ll be looking forward to seeing many of them published in the near future.

    And can we get the six finalists to give us their pitches so we may know what the stories were about?

    Reply
  19. Ello says

    October 29, 2007 at 6:56 pm

    Congratulations to all the finalists! I completely forgot to vote but I’m glad I didn’t because it was a hard choice, they were all great. Congratulations to Emily. Would love to know what your story is if you feel like sharing.

    Reply
  20. Heidi the Hick says

    October 29, 2007 at 7:15 pm

    Are we all exhausted?

    I would love to see the query critiques but I’m afraid of being yelled at for bringing on more work…

    Reply
  21. Heidi the Hick says

    October 29, 2007 at 7:15 pm

    Thanks again, for all the education and entertainment!

    Reply
  22. Sirena says

    October 29, 2007 at 7:28 pm

    Congratulations, Emily!

    Thanks Nathan and May for the contest and judging.

    I have decided to stick around and read the regularly scheduled program. I don’t watch The Hill but I might become a convert eventually.

    Reply
  23. Wendy says

    October 29, 2007 at 8:21 pm

    Congratulations to Emily … and that is a great first paragraph, because all I can think is, “what is this story about? I want to read it!”

    Reply
  24. Annie Bailey says

    October 29, 2007 at 8:25 pm

    Congrats Emily!

    Reply
  25. Jennifer L. Griffith says

    October 29, 2007 at 8:38 pm

    Congratulations, Emily!

    Reply
  26. Morgan St. John says

    October 29, 2007 at 8:58 pm

    Do you get to pretend your blind now? THat seems like a just reward for all the screen viewing you’ve done.

    Congrats, Em.

    Reply
  27. Michelle(MG) says

    October 29, 2007 at 9:49 pm

    Way to go Emily! Woohoo! Do I get to say I knew you when?

    Reply
  28. A Paperback Writer says

    October 29, 2007 at 9:50 pm

    Oh bravo!
    I’m glad you picked this one. Some of your runners up were not as interesting as those who never made it.
    But this one is very good. I hope it gets published so we can read the story.

    Reply
  29. Other Lisa says

    October 29, 2007 at 9:55 pm

    Congratulations, Emily! And…wow – I voted for something that won! This hardly ever happens, and when it does tends to be voided by a Supreme Court decision.

    Reply
  30. Dave Wood says

    October 29, 2007 at 10:19 pm

    I figured there were more than enough competitors and voters, so I only lurked this time — and now I’m kind of sad I didn’t play too. Excellent contest, Nathan and May! And congratulations to all the finalists.

    Reply
  31. Tammie says

    October 29, 2007 at 10:31 pm

    Way to go Emily!

    And thanks Nathan and May!

    Reply
  32. Nathan Bransford says

    October 29, 2007 at 10:38 pm

    To the author of the deleted comment:

    No anonymous sniping allowed in these parts. If you want to say something about someone’s work, do so constructively and non-anonymously. Anything worth saying can be said with your name attached to it.

    Reply
  33. cc says

    October 29, 2007 at 11:06 pm

    YAY, Emily!

    Congrats! May you find an agent if you need one and get that baby in print!

    Thanks for the contest, Nathan.

    –CC

    Reply
  34. Kim Stagliano says

    October 29, 2007 at 11:20 pm

    Congrats! So what IS that thing in the piano?

    Reply
  35. Josephine Damian says

    October 29, 2007 at 11:32 pm

    Heidi the Hick, good idea! If Nathan was up for it, and the finalists were willing to share them publicly, Nathan could post the query crits.

    Would be a good learning experience for all of us, especially after having a sense of the story now that we’ve seen the finalists’ openings.

    Reply
  36. mkcbunny says

    October 29, 2007 at 11:37 pm

    Congratulations, Emily!

    And thanks to everyone who entered, too.

    Reply
  37. Cassandra says

    October 29, 2007 at 11:59 pm

    Congratulations, Emily!
    Very imaginative and well written.
    ((hugs))

    Reply
  38. Lupina says

    October 29, 2007 at 11:59 pm

    I was out of town with full schedule and no computer so missed voting, but I believe the best of the seven was chosen. Group-brain proves its competence once again! Thanks Nathan and kudos to Emily.

    Reply
  39. Linnea says

    October 30, 2007 at 12:01 am

    Nice going Emily! A spider in the piano, eh?

    Reply
  40. Colorado Writer says

    October 30, 2007 at 12:09 am

    Thanks for the nail-biting fun!

    Congrats Emily!

    Reply
  41. writtenwyrdd says

    October 30, 2007 at 12:18 am

    Congrats to Emily.
    I find it interesting how the tastes of your readers vary.

    Reply
  42. Sophie W. says

    October 30, 2007 at 12:21 am

    Congrats, Emily! Are you going to tell us what’s in that piano?

    Reply
  43. Lauri Shaw says

    October 30, 2007 at 12:29 am

    Cool – I nailed it. That paragraph really had me interested in the rest of the story.

    I’d love to see more! Maybe Emily will send me her first page?

    http://www.laurishaw.com

    Reply
  44. McKoala says

    October 30, 2007 at 12:36 am

    Congratulations, Emily and thank you to Nathan and May for the fun.

    Reply
  45. Maripat says

    October 30, 2007 at 2:05 am

    Congrats, Emily!

    Reply
  46. Emily Ryan-Davis says

    October 30, 2007 at 2:33 am

    Thanks for votes and congratulations! 🙂 This contest has made my whole month.

    The character in the first paragraph is Thumbelina (self-named Tina). Her relationship with the prince went sour years and years ago, and a jealous sorceress cursed her to forever in the belly of a Steinway. Tina has come to enjoy life inside a piano. She does not enjoy the arrival of Francis Ryan O’Grady, the piano mover who drops her house down a flight of stairs and shatters not only the Steinway, but also the sorceress’s spell. The last thing she ever counted on was starting all over again, back at the beginning with Frog.

    I’ll see what I can do about putting a few pages somewhere. The whole story is still floating around at a random 3k-word mark and isn’t complete.

    Reply
  47. Eden Bradley says

    October 30, 2007 at 3:53 am

    Yay-congrats Emily! Awesome entry!

    Reply
  48. Josephine Damian says

    October 30, 2007 at 11:37 am

    So, Emily, this is a short story? Do I have that right?

    Cool premise.

    Reply
  49. Southern Writer says

    October 30, 2007 at 11:38 am

    Congrats, Emily. Well done.

    Reply
  50. Emily Ryan-Davis says

    October 30, 2007 at 12:25 pm

    Josephine, it started out as a short story. Whether it remains short is largely dependent upon factors like my impatience to write The End, and the willingness of my imagination to stay on track. I got to the current point about two months ago and had to put it aside for some other tasks (edits, a deadline book, busy season at work). My crit partner is pushing for longer. I’m going to revisit the story at the first of the year, once I have my paranormal serial trilogy and edits for my holiday anthology story all wrapped up, and see where it takes me.

    I confess to being that kind of writer who gets too taken by an idea to set it aside and consider possibilities BEFORE I start writing it.

    Reply
  51. Emily Ryan-Davis says

    October 30, 2007 at 12:26 pm

    Thanks again for congratulations. 🙂

    Reply
  52. Dwight's Writing Manifesto says

    October 30, 2007 at 1:30 pm

    Sorry Emily. I was in bed sick yesterday. I missed the party.

    Belated congratulations.

    Reply
  53. SzélsőFa says

    October 30, 2007 at 3:37 pm

    Congratulations, Emily, I’m joining the ‘I would like to read further’-clubbers here, too.

    Reply
  54. Emily Ryan-Davis says

    October 30, 2007 at 4:23 pm

    For those of you who wanted a little more, I’ve posted a first page on my blog. 🙂

    http://www.emilyryandavis.com/blog/

    Reply
  55. Anonymous says

    October 30, 2007 at 6:32 pm

    Congrats, Emily! 🙂

    And thanks to everyone who contributed a paragraph.

    ~Nancy (who’s too lazy to log into her blogger account)
    http://writerlystuff.blogspot.com

    Reply
  56. Neptoon says

    October 30, 2007 at 9:26 pm

    Aloha Emily,

    Nice imagination and nicely done!

    To further sweeten the Winner’s pot of treasures Nathan is giving you…I would like to add one free surf lesson on the north shore of Kauai next time you are on island.

    Aloha nui loa

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

About Nathan

Hi, I’m Nathan. I’m the author of How to Write a Novel and the Jacob Wonderbar series, which was published by Penguin. I used to be a literary agent at Curtis Brown Ltd. and I’m dedicated to helping authors chase their dreams.

Learn more about me.

Need Editing?

I'm available for consultations, edits, query critiques, brainstorming, and more.
Learn more!

My Books




Forums

Need help with your query? Want to talk books? Check out the Nathan Bransford Forums

Subscribe!

Receive the blog directly in your inbox when there are new posts!

Follow Nathan on the social media

  • Twitter
  • Facebook
  • Instagram

Copyright © 2019 · Twenty Seven Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in