Thank you so much to everyone who entered in and voted in the Largely Indispensable First Paragraph Challenge! Turnout was unprecedented, quality was high, and livers were destroyed. Thanks again also to May Vanderbilt for her help picking the finalists.
The people have spoken, and while the voting was extremely close, we have a winner. The author of the most largely indispensable first paragraph is….
EMILY RYAN-DAVIS. Whose last name I initially transposed when I announced the finalists (sorry about that!). Emily’s winning paragraph is:
Life inside a piano isn’t all knitting cobweb sweaters and napping. It’s dangerous. Every time a clumsy student flings himself at the bench and bangs on the ivories, just to see his fingers walk across the black and whites, I face death. The action’s unpredictable. If I’m in the wrong place at the wrong time, I could lose my head.
Whew! And that concludes the Largely Indispensable First Paragraph Challenge. Please stay tuned this week as we return to our regularly scheduled blog programming.
Heidi says
October 29, 2007 at 4:11 pmNathan, thank you so much for this time-consuming contest! I have only recently started my process of getting published, and I am learning so much from reading your blog. Hopefully it will make me appear less an idiot when I start submitting! I laugh out loud reading your posts, and have taken to using the phrase, “for the love of JustinBobby” quite liberally! So thank you for your help, and the huge dose of levity you add to my day!
Amanda says
October 29, 2007 at 4:11 pmYay Emily!!!!
YOU GO GIRL!!!!
^_^
Precie says
October 29, 2007 at 4:15 pmCongratulations, Emily!
And thank you yet again, Nathan and May! You both did an astounding job!
Nathan, I eagerly await your next challenge! LOL!
V L Smith says
October 29, 2007 at 4:18 pmHooray for Emily!
Thanks to Nathan and his lovely assistant, May.
This has been fun and educational. I can’t wait to see what your twisted mind springs on us next!
eric says
October 29, 2007 at 4:23 pmAdd me to the “Congrats and well done to Emily” column as well as the “Thank you very much to Nathan and May” crowd.
Luc2 says
October 29, 2007 at 4:46 pmCongrats, Emily! Well deserved.
And thanks, May and Nathan.
Mary says
October 29, 2007 at 4:48 pmThree cheers for Emily, and a standing ovation for Nathan and May!!!
jeanne says
October 29, 2007 at 4:52 pmWell done, Emily!
Thanks Nathan and May!
Melanie Avila says
October 29, 2007 at 4:57 pmCongratulations Emily! Can we get a second or third paragraph?
Thanks for another fabulous contest!
Roxan says
October 29, 2007 at 5:02 pmCongratulations to Emily.
Nathan, I think your next contest should be who has the most soap opera sounding character names. Ha.
Josephine Damian says
October 29, 2007 at 5:03 pmPrecie, maybe Nathan’s next contest will be the:
Ginormous Be All and End All Last Line Competition?
🙂
Sue Eves says
October 29, 2007 at 5:04 pmCongratulations Emily and the runners up!
Thanks Nathan for the Largely Indispensable First Paragraph Challenge – it was wholly indispensable and fun!
Josephine Damian says
October 29, 2007 at 5:09 pmOr the:
Let’s See If We Can Make Blogger Explode By Posting Our Entire First Page Contest?
Fiona says
October 29, 2007 at 5:12 pmCongratulations, Emily.
I would love to read more.
Josephine Damian says
October 29, 2007 at 5:18 pmOr something pithy and punchy like a Hollywood-style pitch contest?
For example:
My novel is: Kill Bill meets Little Miss Sunshine with a twist of Men in Black.
Ok. I’ll stop now before Nathan blocks me.
Congrats to Emily!
Precie says
October 29, 2007 at 6:24 pmLMAO, Josephine! I was thinking along the lines of your “break Blogger” contest. 😉
Tom Judah says
October 29, 2007 at 6:35 pmWell done Emily and congrat’s for a job well done!!
Thanks again to both Nathan and May for their time and death of their livers…
Tom
Maya Reynolds says
October 29, 2007 at 6:49 pmCongratulations to Emily and to all the finalists and participants.
There were some absolutely terrific first paragraphs. I’ll be looking forward to seeing many of them published in the near future.
And can we get the six finalists to give us their pitches so we may know what the stories were about?
Ello says
October 29, 2007 at 6:56 pmCongratulations to all the finalists! I completely forgot to vote but I’m glad I didn’t because it was a hard choice, they were all great. Congratulations to Emily. Would love to know what your story is if you feel like sharing.
Heidi the Hick says
October 29, 2007 at 7:15 pmAre we all exhausted?
I would love to see the query critiques but I’m afraid of being yelled at for bringing on more work…
Heidi the Hick says
October 29, 2007 at 7:15 pmThanks again, for all the education and entertainment!
Sirena says
October 29, 2007 at 7:28 pmCongratulations, Emily!
Thanks Nathan and May for the contest and judging.
I have decided to stick around and read the regularly scheduled program. I don’t watch The Hill but I might become a convert eventually.
Wendy says
October 29, 2007 at 8:21 pmCongratulations to Emily … and that is a great first paragraph, because all I can think is, “what is this story about? I want to read it!”
Annie Bailey says
October 29, 2007 at 8:25 pmCongrats Emily!
Jennifer L. Griffith says
October 29, 2007 at 8:38 pmCongratulations, Emily!
Morgan St. John says
October 29, 2007 at 8:58 pmDo you get to pretend your blind now? THat seems like a just reward for all the screen viewing you’ve done.
Congrats, Em.
Michelle(MG) says
October 29, 2007 at 9:49 pmWay to go Emily! Woohoo! Do I get to say I knew you when?
A Paperback Writer says
October 29, 2007 at 9:50 pmOh bravo!
I’m glad you picked this one. Some of your runners up were not as interesting as those who never made it.
But this one is very good. I hope it gets published so we can read the story.
Other Lisa says
October 29, 2007 at 9:55 pmCongratulations, Emily! And…wow – I voted for something that won! This hardly ever happens, and when it does tends to be voided by a Supreme Court decision.
Dave Wood says
October 29, 2007 at 10:19 pmI figured there were more than enough competitors and voters, so I only lurked this time — and now I’m kind of sad I didn’t play too. Excellent contest, Nathan and May! And congratulations to all the finalists.
Tammie says
October 29, 2007 at 10:31 pmWay to go Emily!
And thanks Nathan and May!
Nathan Bransford says
October 29, 2007 at 10:38 pmTo the author of the deleted comment:
No anonymous sniping allowed in these parts. If you want to say something about someone’s work, do so constructively and non-anonymously. Anything worth saying can be said with your name attached to it.
cc says
October 29, 2007 at 11:06 pmYAY, Emily!
Congrats! May you find an agent if you need one and get that baby in print!
Thanks for the contest, Nathan.
–CC
Kim Stagliano says
October 29, 2007 at 11:20 pmCongrats! So what IS that thing in the piano?
Josephine Damian says
October 29, 2007 at 11:32 pmHeidi the Hick, good idea! If Nathan was up for it, and the finalists were willing to share them publicly, Nathan could post the query crits.
Would be a good learning experience for all of us, especially after having a sense of the story now that we’ve seen the finalists’ openings.
mkcbunny says
October 29, 2007 at 11:37 pmCongratulations, Emily!
And thanks to everyone who entered, too.
Cassandra says
October 29, 2007 at 11:59 pmCongratulations, Emily!
Very imaginative and well written.
((hugs))
Lupina says
October 29, 2007 at 11:59 pmI was out of town with full schedule and no computer so missed voting, but I believe the best of the seven was chosen. Group-brain proves its competence once again! Thanks Nathan and kudos to Emily.
Linnea says
October 30, 2007 at 12:01 amNice going Emily! A spider in the piano, eh?
Colorado Writer says
October 30, 2007 at 12:09 amThanks for the nail-biting fun!
Congrats Emily!
writtenwyrdd says
October 30, 2007 at 12:18 amCongrats to Emily.
I find it interesting how the tastes of your readers vary.
Sophie W. says
October 30, 2007 at 12:21 amCongrats, Emily! Are you going to tell us what’s in that piano?
Lauri Shaw says
October 30, 2007 at 12:29 amCool – I nailed it. That paragraph really had me interested in the rest of the story.
I’d love to see more! Maybe Emily will send me her first page?
http://www.laurishaw.com
McKoala says
October 30, 2007 at 12:36 amCongratulations, Emily and thank you to Nathan and May for the fun.
Maripat says
October 30, 2007 at 2:05 amCongrats, Emily!
Emily Ryan-Davis says
October 30, 2007 at 2:33 amThanks for votes and congratulations! 🙂 This contest has made my whole month.
The character in the first paragraph is Thumbelina (self-named Tina). Her relationship with the prince went sour years and years ago, and a jealous sorceress cursed her to forever in the belly of a Steinway. Tina has come to enjoy life inside a piano. She does not enjoy the arrival of Francis Ryan O’Grady, the piano mover who drops her house down a flight of stairs and shatters not only the Steinway, but also the sorceress’s spell. The last thing she ever counted on was starting all over again, back at the beginning with Frog.
I’ll see what I can do about putting a few pages somewhere. The whole story is still floating around at a random 3k-word mark and isn’t complete.
Eden Bradley says
October 30, 2007 at 3:53 amYay-congrats Emily! Awesome entry!
Josephine Damian says
October 30, 2007 at 11:37 amSo, Emily, this is a short story? Do I have that right?
Cool premise.
Southern Writer says
October 30, 2007 at 11:38 amCongrats, Emily. Well done.
Emily Ryan-Davis says
October 30, 2007 at 12:25 pmJosephine, it started out as a short story. Whether it remains short is largely dependent upon factors like my impatience to write The End, and the willingness of my imagination to stay on track. I got to the current point about two months ago and had to put it aside for some other tasks (edits, a deadline book, busy season at work). My crit partner is pushing for longer. I’m going to revisit the story at the first of the year, once I have my paranormal serial trilogy and edits for my holiday anthology story all wrapped up, and see where it takes me.
I confess to being that kind of writer who gets too taken by an idea to set it aside and consider possibilities BEFORE I start writing it.
Emily Ryan-Davis says
October 30, 2007 at 12:26 pmThanks again for congratulations. 🙂
Dwight's Writing Manifesto says
October 30, 2007 at 1:30 pmSorry Emily. I was in bed sick yesterday. I missed the party.
Belated congratulations.
SzélsőFa says
October 30, 2007 at 3:37 pmCongratulations, Emily, I’m joining the ‘I would like to read further’-clubbers here, too.
Emily Ryan-Davis says
October 30, 2007 at 4:23 pmFor those of you who wanted a little more, I’ve posted a first page on my blog. 🙂
http://www.emilyryandavis.com/blog/
Anonymous says
October 30, 2007 at 6:32 pmCongrats, Emily! 🙂
And thanks to everyone who contributed a paragraph.
~Nancy (who’s too lazy to log into her blogger account)
http://writerlystuff.blogspot.com
Neptoon says
October 30, 2007 at 9:26 pmAloha Emily,
Nice imagination and nicely done!
To further sweeten the Winner’s pot of treasures Nathan is giving you…I would like to add one free surf lesson on the north shore of Kauai next time you are on island.
Aloha nui loa