Nathan Bransford, Author


Monday, August 27, 2012

The Publishing Process in GIF Form

At first you're thinking of writing a novel and you're all...


But then you have an idea!


And you go...


But then you hit page 50 and you're all....


And then you hit page 75 and you're all...


But you power through!!


And then you're finished!!! You have finished a novel!!


Only then find out you have to start querying agents.


So you write your query letter...


You obsess over it...


And then you send it out to agents and you're all...


Then a couple of days go by and you're all...


And...

And...


But then you hear from your first agent!! And you're all...


And...


And it's a rejection. But it's just your first one so you're all...


Then you get a few more and it's more like...


But then! An agent calls! And they love your work! They want to represent you! And inside you're like...


But you don't want your agent to think you're crazy so instead you're like...


And you love your agent! When you say "yes" you want to...


But instead you go...


And then it's time to submit to publishers. You are back on submission, and you're like...


Then the editors start saying....


And...


And your inbox starts looking like...



And you're all...


And...


And...


But then your phone says your agent is calling. And you want to be like...


But instead it's more like...


And it's an offer! You have an offer! And you feel like...


And...


And...


And...


And then you go celebrate with your friends and they're all...


And on the car ride home you're still like...


But it's time for revisions. And you pretend you know what you're doing...


And it's back to...


But then you're done! You're really really done! Only your book doesn't come out for another year. And so you're like...


And...


You get your cover and you're all...


But then publication day approaches! And your reviews start coming out and it kind of feels like...


But some of them are good! And you're like...


And then your book is out there! People are reading your book!


And it feels pretty good!


And there's only one thing to do. Start the whole thing over again.


Want to start your own publishing journey? Check out my guide to writing a novel, How to Write a Novel: 47 Rules for Writing a Stupendously Awesome Novel That You Will Love Forever, on sale for just $4.99 at:

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283 comments:

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Jennifer Jensen said...

This was priceless! Nice to be ROFL when it's late and I still have a lot of work to do. Thanks!

Crystal said...

Your video montage made me laugh so hard I woke up my 8 month old, ooopps.

Anonymous said...

that was really ... long.

Gayatri Majumdar said...

Awesome, Nathan!!:)

Wm. Luke Everest said...

This is absolutely awesome. I laughed until any metaphor for how MUCH I laughed would be inappropriate to write on a stranger's blog. A very funny and realistic representation of what getting a book out there is like, for most people.

A ray of hope, though: this is actually pretty inaccurate for people whose first step is learning the craft. Getting published is easier than getting an agent, for one thing. For another, getting a good agent means they'll negotiate with publishers and, if you've written a good book (which a good agent will be able to judge) it will sell. The hard parts are two-fold: learning to write, and selling quality work for more money than you can feed a cat with.

As Scott Bradfield, Paul McAuley and Ian Banks said to me, "Keep writing and reading and you'll get it." Now I'm represented by one of the biggest agents in the world: the same gal who represented Anthony Burgess. I help explain how this happened on my blog, if anyone is interested. The thing is, goals don't come, they get grabbed. Now get back to work and stop flitting around the internet. I'm going to go now and take a bit of my own advice.

Wm. Luke Everest
everestbyfog.blogspot.com

simon wood said...

That was fantastic - I'm just at stage where i'm about to get a look at the cover and awaiting those reviews. Very and couldn't be more true.

Jennifer Cote said...

Oh my goodness- LOVE it! Thanks :D

Marian L said...

Absolutely Brilliant!

Nicole McInnes said...

Just...yeah, I have nothing more to add. It's perfection.

Ron at CM said...

I just couldn't look away... Falling in...

B^)

Suzanne Furness said...

Love it!

Liz DeJesus said...

*hugs* Finally! Someone who understands how I really feel. :D LOL LOVED THIS POST!

Lindsay said...

Very clever and funny, thanks :)

raincoaster said...

FYI your post is the subject of our story on the Daily Dot. How meta!

Min said...

Brilliant!

Beth Young said...

Sei Bravo! (You are awesome). I am now Internet Guy but someday . . . Elf! Benvenuti from Siena where I am writing Eat--Have Sex--Get Fat. Nathan you are like a really great big brother. Thanks for sharing your knowledge so freely and making me laugh.

Edie Bishop said...

You are too much.

Cora said...

You nailed it. So fun. Thanks for the laughs.

vickiejohnstone said...

Love it!!! It's so true! Especially the dive-bombing review moment and the hey I've published, awesome feeling... replaced by the big Oh feeling... and the hamster wheel starts again. So funny! And that Hugh jiggle always gets me giggling.

Liz Fichera said...

Brilliant.

Darley said...

That might be a masterpiece. Can't wait for the sequel.

mclicious.org said...

This wins so very much!

Liz Curtis Higgs said...

Hysterical and so true. What you've cleverly described is EXACTLY how writing and publishing works. Well done, Nathan!

Lauren said...

Ahahahahahaa. Nathan, you had too much time on your hands, dude. LOL. This was hysterical! You didn't add any procrastination gifs in there. Maybe later.

Lauren said...

Ahahha. Nathan, that is hysterical, dude. I think you had too much time on your hands. :P LOL. There weren't any procrastination gifs, I noticed. Maybe later.

DenaNetherton said...

Wonder if Kathryn Stockett felt like that after her 60th rejection?

thewriteedge said...

This is awesome!! Thanks for posting it, Nathan, especially the reminder at the end. It's true what they say: life is a journey, not a destination!!

Loni Flowers said...

FUNNIEST. POST. EVER. I laughed my butt off! Awesome!!

Techno Hippy said...

Excellent - made me chuckle :-)

Silvana said...

Superb! Very funny- I think? Thank you for sharing :)

Patti said...

Seriously, I laughed so hard I cried. :D Sharing!

Karen lee Hallam said...
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Karen lee Hallam said...

Oh Lordy, lordy, this is HYSTERICAL!! Can i somehow post this on my wall?

Karen lee Hallam said...

sorry-for those multiple comments. I think my phone has a bug. :(

P.J Roscoe said...

Absolutely YES!! I laughed so hard I almost stopped writing for a few seconds!!!!!
It is soooo true and I loved it - thanks for that hug from the inside as my book launch is tomorrow and I am doing most if not ALL of those faces!!

Anonymous said...

Utterly brilliant. You've nailed it. I have tears of laughter streaming down my face. Thanks!

Jodie Andrefski said...

I was absolutely ROLLING was I was reading this! Hilarious! (Even though I'm still I'm only halfway through personally....I'm SURE that's how I'd be for the rest of the steps too!) =)

not me said...

Hysterical! Thanks for putting this together! :)

Rod Arters, Writer - on FB

Gianetta said...

I never got to the "getting an agent" part but I did self-publish and it feels very similar to everything in your post. Well done!

Dionna said...

SUPER FUN!

Karen Lange said...

Love it! Thank you!

Anonymous said...

I would be super happy if Bernie read my novel! I hope to finish it in six months. One can hope I hope!

Krista said...

The Hugh Grant dance is my acceptance dance. I'm so not kidding right now. I play the song and dance like Hugh. Laughed and cried all the way through. Thanks, Nathan.

Krystol Diggs said...

I haven't laughed SO hard in a long time. I needed this! Nathan you are SO awesome!

Rick Crawford said...

Good grief this is funny post. LOL!

Andrea B said...

I laughed out loud! For real. :) Thank you. That was amazing.

Nevada said...

I just kind of ran into your blog and have to say I love it and it's now bookmarked. It is quite helpful and I lOVE this post. As much of a pain as it sounds I had to laugh because I'm going through the first stages of writing a full fledged novel and look forward to the rest of the experience. The good the bad and the ugly.

Emma Ennis said...
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Emma Ennis said...
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Emma Ennis said...

Noice! And pretty much exact from my experience.

Danette Haworth said...

Love this post!

Vicki Hopkins, Author said...
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Jess @ The Secret DMS Files o Fairday Morrow said...

Awesome! Best post I've seen in a while! You nailed the emotional process of publishing : ) ~ Jess

Slicy said...

Hah! I'm currently querying and have gotten my first set of rejections, up to this point it is so terrifyingly accurate. I just hope the happiness stage is to follow :)

butterflyjewel said...

Haha...This is funny! Love it though!!! So that's the publishing process in a nutshell, huh. Well, I see I have a lot of fun to look forward to :-)

Caroline Vermalle said...

dude - I don't know your work but I just came across this (funny the things you find on the net when you're pretending to write) and i actually cried. yep, tears of laughter. it is so true. you've transcended the GIF genre. thanks and well done !

eric said...

That was awesome! Know just about every one of those emotions. So is this a good place to blog my recent book release? Dream Wedding Secrets: The All Important G.S.F by Eric Gulbrandson. It's the guest's perspective of the perfect wedding. It contains quotes from over 200 guests about what makes a wedding great or no so great for them as guests.

Daphnee Kwong Waye said...

This is so brilliant! I love this!

Carl Gedye said...

So good I had to comment.

Anonymous said...

this is perfect for people who are NOT writers, so f*** you and the c*** you rode in on

JR Nolds said...

Love the humorous twist on reality! Brilliant!

Suzanna James said...

Terrific Nathan, and speaking as someone who received a lovely rejection from you, (honestly you were quite kind) and who has published many times, I think you've nailed it. I am particularly fond of Bert.

hadi said...

This really makes me entertained.
thank you

Sue Eves said...

Nathan, you should be honoured with a Ticker Tape Parade. Save the shredded paper:P

Donna cerca uomo Roma said...

Beautiful.Thank you!

Acidic Rider said...

lovely........

Teena Stewart said...

You nailed it! Too funny

hereticfox said...

The display of brilliance, in blogger format.

Charles B. said...

Very cool and creative..thanks for insight and the laugh

Barbara Lange, Winnipeg said...

I haven't laughed so hard, so long, and until I nearly threw up for years! Finally, someone who understands!

paruthi said...

Awesome!!! story as gif series... I enjoyed the GIF Story... But not just a story, every one who starts some thing goes through this..

Donelle Lacy said...

This was so fun and I especially laughed at the "come at me bro" owl. Great stuff! I haven't even gotten to the elf losing his mind stage yet. Can't wait for that stage!

HEATHER LYNNE DAVIS said...

OMG--thank you for this. It made my day!!

William Kendall said...

Very funny, Nathan!

Barbara Koob said...

Absolutely made my day! Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately, your animations only reinforces that writing in today's publishing environment guarantees that the author will be treated like the lowest form of life in ancient feudal systems.

What can we do to revolutionize creative writing so that the true writers, no matter how small they are, can get their work out for regular people to see?

And, yes, I do mean that publishers, editors, agents, and even the creators of this web page seem to have lost touch with regular people...

Emma Adams said...

Ha! Brilliant.

Mike Pappas said...

Oh the feels.

My life exactly...at least looking at it from this perspective I have something to laugh about.

Anonymous said...

Really funny & clever! "MY Emotions!"

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