Nathan Bransford, Author


Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Stupendously Ultimate Finalists!! (As Introduced by Leslie Knope and Ron Swanson)

Leslie Knope: Hello citizens of Pawnee. I'm Leslie Knope, and Oim Irish M'Lady, Cheerio!!!

I'm not Irish. I'm actually from Pawnee. It's kind of crappy but we love it anyway.

Sir? No. Sir? I will deal with you when I'm finished. Also your jacket is on fire.

Big smile, Knope. Big smile.

Wait. Did I say that out loud? I said that out loud didn't I.

Ahem.

Nathan invited me here to announce the finalists in the first paragraph competition, and I thought, sure, first paragraph competition, what this party really needs is a festival! So everyone look under their seats where there are two color coded binders, which reveal the location of the real binders, one through seventeen, which will give you your...

No groaning! Now, I know what you're thinking. This is too awesome to even contemplate. I know, I'm thinking that too. That's why I'm wearing my hottest cargo pants.

Where were we? First paragraphs! Right! Let me turn my attention over to my boss, the great Ron Swanson. Give him a big Pawnee welcome. Ron?

Ron: Thank you, Leslie.

I hate first paragraphs. I think that first paragraphs are an abomination unto God, freedom, and bacon. My ex-wife Tammy loved first paragraphs, and so did my other ex-wife Tammy. First paragraphs are a fetid disease that pollutes people with a love of reading. I don't believe people shouldn't read, with the sole exception of the Constitution of the United States and the collected works of Ayn Rand. Books just give people ideas, and when people have ideas they complain. So I hate them.

That is all.

Leslie: Annnnnd thank you Ron Swanson! Isn't he great? He's really the greatest boss in the world. Loooves those paragraphs too.

Okay! It's time to announce the finalists of the... no wait. That's not right. Because that would be weird. Bee boo. Moving on.

The honorable mentions! That's what I meant. These individuals win a shoe shine from Andy Dwyer and a free improvisational musical experience courtesy of April Ludgate!

Also I tried April's musical experience and she just throws a harmonica at you, so watch out.

Honorable mentions!

Tchann
Josin L. McQuein
Jessie Oliveros
NRH
Leah
Julia
Ann Best
Megan
Jenise Frohlinger
Elissa Sussman
Rick

And the finalists!!

Nathan gave me strict instructions. In order to vote for the winner, please leave a vote in the comments section of this post. You will have until Wednesday 6pm Pacific time to vote. Please do not e-mail him your vote.

Also: No campaigning for yourself or your favorites out there on the Internet. Don't make me use my power to petition for grievances.

Anonymous comments have been closed for the duration of the voting. There will be no blog post on Wednesday as the votes are being tallied, but we will return on Thursday to crown the victor and talk about what worked for Nathan in the first para... Oim Irish again, laddy! Oim going to go down to the pub to talk about powygraphs!

I'm really not Irish.

The six finalists!!! In no particular order!! Are!!!


The Sasquatch!
The funny thing about tennis, my father used to tell me, was no matter how hard you worked, no matter how good you got, you’d never be as good as a wall. My father didn’t like most sports. Football players, he said, were just drunks in training. Golf was what rich people did when they didn’t want anyone to call them lazy. Hockey was exercise for the criminally insane. And soccer? Well, let’s just say that, all debates of free speech aside, some things are inappropriate for a team of ten year old girls, and the next time he sets foot in the Hamilton County Sports Metroplex, he’ll likely face a $2000 fine and six months in jail. Not that it would matter to him.

Ben!
From a bird’s eye view, the sight is beautiful, pristine. The symmetrical gridlines of Shelter’s streets rest on the jagged landscape of the Colorado Mountains, an obvious imperfection that only makes them more charming, like a scar on a beautiful woman. On Monday evening, the streets are vacant. It’s local custom to shell up in a living room and anesthetize your dread of the coming week with a massive dose of televised entertainment. It’s what people do, it’s normal. For the few who walk outside, the October wind is their only companion. Tonight, Charles Crawford is on the other side of the windowpanes and misses the meaningless comfort of being normal.

Anonymous!
I was born during an electrical storm. They told me when Matilda saw me for the first time the lights flickered, and in that moment of blackness, my sister leaned over and whispered, “I missed you.” Like I had just returned from a trip.

Daniel Wheatley!
Wolfgang Benjamin Zuttliburg Mullenbottom IV was the most imaginative boy to ever live. When he was born, he floated right out of the doctor’s hands and nearly out of the nursery. (He would have made it too, if the doctor hadn’t once been a poisonous snake wrangler with Animal Control and still had his lightning reflexes.) “This will not do,” his father, the stoutest in a long line of stout German fathers, said as his son bobbled in the nursery like a helium balloon. So when it came time to make out the birth certificate, he chose the heaviest name possible so his son would keep his feet on the ground.

Kate Tyler Wall!
It was Ricky Dick of the Turds who said that Del and I would end up together in the Punk Rock Old Folks Home someday. We were all sitting around the fire on one of the last nights at camp, but Del and I weren’t singing along to “Beat on the Brat” with the others because as usual we were knee to knee, talking about some book or maybe the latest song we were writing or how I would have to find another day job next week. Ricky couldn’t jeer at us to “just go in the woods and screw already” like he would to anybody else because people were finally figuring out by then that we weren’t about that. Jimmy Spittle from Cybyl probably came closest to putting his finger on the nature of the relationship. He once said Del and I were each other’s “muses,” a word Ricky Dick had probably never heard of. Jimmy was a pretty deep guy, as punks go. Anyway, everybody laughed, and Del told Ricky where to go, and then Steve from Head Lice started playing “I Fought the Law” on his guitar and another sing-along began. Just another August night at Camp Punksatawny; one that everyone might remember fondly at middle age if they didn’t OD or die of cirrhosis first.

Hilary!
Jesus Arturo Alvarez was born on the thirteenth of September in the year of the Lord, after Whom he was named, nineteen hundred and ninety. It was a Friday, and also market day in the village of Guadalupe, Arizona, which lay just east of Ahwahtukee and southeast of Phoenix proper. During her most severe labor pains his mother screamed at the nurses for a drink and his father pinched her hard on that soft skin just above the elbow and told her to shut up. She didn't feel the pinch but she told him to go to hell anyway and then bit him on his left hand between the thumb and forefinger. Forever after Jesus' father had a crescent-shaped, dotted-line scar that he would rub absentmindedly with his right thumb during conversation.


Congratulations to the winners! I admire you as much as my mother, Hilary Clinton, and former Secretary of State Madeline Albright. Combined. No, multiplied. And squared.






320 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 320   Newer›   Newest»
Elena Solodow said...

The Sasquatch.

Laurel said...

Congrats!

Jenny said...

Congrats to everyone!

Sasquatch, definitely. I was hoping to see that entry here!

Gabriela Lessa said...

The Sasquatch

The Pollinatrix said...

The Sasquatch

Laura Campbell said...

Congratulations to everyone! I'm torn between Anonymous and Daniel Wheatley! Hmmm...my vote goes to...

Anonymous

Kelly Andrews said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Josin L. McQuein said...

Congrats finalists!

My vote goes to Anonymous!

(Yay! I'm officially honorable, and now I have proof!)

And.... I have used up my exclamation quota for the next three months with this post. Phooey!

:-P

Rondi Olson said...

The Sasquatch

Nicole said...

Congrats! Anonymous gets my vote.

Kelli said...

Congrats all!
Going with The Sasquatch.
(FTR I did read all of them, just happened to like the first best!)

L.G.Smith said...

Anonymous. Very nice.

misa101 said...

Sasquatch

I am dying to know what the father said to those children

Ted Fox said...

The Sasquatch

Lucinda Bilya said...

The Sasquatch

Bethany Mattingly said...

Anonymous, loved that one.

Kristy said...

I vote for Anonymous.

Rosie Lane said...

The Sasquatch.

Tammy said...

Well, I'm excited to see I did pick one of the finalist, so, my vote goes to...

The Sasquatch

Angelica R. Jackson said...

Congrats to all the finalists! I vote for Anonymous's entry.

amandaswrinkledpages.com said...

Oh, I laughed at Sasquatch, but must go with Anonymous. Love the line, "I missed you."

Congrats to all!

susansheehey said...

I vote for Ben (and Anonymous is a close second)

Henri said...

I like The Sasquatch.

Robin_Lucas said...

Congrats to all of the finalists! My vote is for:

Anonymous

Love that first line: I was born in an electrical storm.

Phil said...

Congrats to all - I vote for Ben!

heather said...

i'm going to go with the sasquatch.

Michelle said...

Congratulations everyone!

I vote for Anonymous!

annikay said...

Congrats to all the finalists and honorable mentions!

And my vote goes to...Daniel Wheatley!

Watcher55 said...

Ben

abc said...

Kate Tyler Wall!

Rebecca said...

Congrats, all! My vote goes to Anonymous.

Remilda Graystone said...

I really liked Anon's! I want to read more of it.

abc said...

Also, good job with the Knope and the Swanson! I love those people.

J. Rosemary Moss said...

Gratz to the finalists!

I vote for Anonymous. I love the first person voice and the fact that there's so much packed into such a little paragraph!

Rena Rossner said...

Daniel Wheatley

Delia said...

Anonymous! (With Sasquatch an extremely close second.)

Tanya Reimer said...

Ben!
Yup, that's the one I like.

Kate Higgins said...

congrats everyone.
I vote for Anonymous.

Anna said...

Congrats to all! My vote goes to Sasquatch.

Ermo said...

I am torn between The Sasquatch and anon. Both are great. Well, all six are great as were the honorable mentions. Congrats to all.

I'm going to cast my vote for The Sasquatch. It reminded me of Richard Russo.

rita said...

My vote's for Ben.

Stephanie@thecrackedslipper said...

I'm hoping this does not post twice...Daniel Wheatley. Congrats to all!

Tiana Smith said...

My vote is for Daniel Wheatley, but it was really hard to decide between his and the paragraph from Anonymous.

Karin Gillespie said...

Anonymous

Kathryn Packer Roberts said...

The Sasquatch.

Now, I know what nathan likes. I guess next time I will write a humorous birthing first para. =)I guess after a million serious ones, we look to the ones that make us laugh. Good job all.

Nanna said...

Super tough choice between Sasquatch and Anonymous! But, my final vote goes to Anonymous.

Cheers to all the finalists!

Jeigh said...

I'm torn between Anonymous and Daniel Wheatley, but I'm going with Daniel Wheatley because I can't get the floating baby out of my head! So clever.

Congrats to all the finalists. It's well-deserved!

Ruthy said...

Congrats to all!
I'll vote for Sasquatch.

Chuck H. said...

Of course I am heartbroken that I didn't make the cut but, considering the quality of those who did, I will probably recover quickly.

For proving once again that good things come in small packages and that a deep mystery can be disclosed with a mere three words, I vote for anonymous.

Gem said...

Daniel Wheatley. So well written, I would love to read on

Hillsy said...

I vote Ben

Kevin said...

Congrats to all!!!!!

My vote goes to Mr. Wheatley

lori said...

They were all wonderful, but I vote for Daniel Wheatley.

I know my two children would love to see where this story goes, and I want to read more myself.

Good Luck!

Peter Dudley said...

Though I like Anon's and Daniel's, I'll cast my vote with Sasquatch.

Beth said...

I'd like to vote for Daniel Wheatley.
Congrats to all finalists and honorables!

Scott said...

Voting for Ben! Excellent writing, quite intriguing, not overdone.

Jordan McCollum said...

Wow! Congratulations, finalists and honorables!

While I really like Anon's and Daniel's, The Sasquatch! gets my vote.

Mary Campbell said...

Great choices. I like Daniel Wheatleys - love the idea of the floating baby that needs a heavy name.

shelldolb said...

Congrats to all! My vote goes to Anonymous.

Orchid said...

Anonymous gets the vote. An "honest" first paragraph that isn't trying to tell the story but instead, makes me want to read it.

Dawn Pier said...

Hmmmm, tough one, they are all good ("of course they are!" says Nathan). Congratulations to the winners and the honorable mentions.

I really like the playfulness of Daniel Wheatley's opening paragraph. So there it is Daniel Wheatley.

Deb said...

I vote for anonymous...although my second place goes to Hilary.

Thanks for hosting this contest. So eye opening about the art of first paragraph writing.

Also, I'm wondering, for those of us still trying to get that first paragraph right, could we get a breakdown of why you chose the six you did?

Kevin said...

I'm very torn between Wheatley and Anonymous...the line about her sister missing him gave me chills...and the Wheatley opening was just fantastic. My vote goes to:

Wheatley.

I had a hard time choosing. There were fantastic lines in all of them! I really liked the line from Ben's about needing television to soften the dread of the coming work week. Love the tone of the "year of our Lord," paragraph. The Sasquatch made me laugh...very clever. Kate's Ricky Dick had serious 'tude.

Just reading this stuff made my writing better. Very inspiring.

Alyson Greene said...

Daniel Wheatley

I love the whimsy and promise of adventure

Emily White said...

Daniel Wheatley! Such a great voice. :)

dcamardo said...

Daniel Wheatley!

Daniel Smith said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Alice said...

Congrats to all the honorable mentions and the finalists. AND I vote for:

ANONYMOUS

Tahereh said...

omg nathan you are hilarious.
only you could pull off the voices of Pawnee.

and my vote goes to Daniel Wheatley!

(but congrats to all the finalists!!)

Ben said...

I almost had a heart attack when I saw my name over there. Can I at least announce on my blog that I have been made finalist?

mary-j-59 said...

Anonymous wins. Short, sweet, and simple - and very intriguing. I just love relationships, and this seems like the start of a character-driven story. Odd - none of my favorites when I was reading through the original entries made the final cut, except perhaps for this one. Wonder what that indicates?

Ted Cross said...

Hmm, none of them look like fantasy to me. I guess I'd have to go with Anonymous.

Cedric and Jen said...

Absolutely, definitely The Sasquatch!!

Sheila JG said...

Congratulations finalists! Those were all really well done. A pleasure to read.

I'm really torn, but I think I'll go with Daniel Wheatley. It just seems like the story is going somewhere fun.

Nate Wilson said...

I cast my vote for The Sasquatch.

...with Anonymous a close second. Congrats to all the finalists, and to all the honorablists!

Nathan Bransford said...

ben-

I think I'd prefer that everyone hold off until blogging about it until the voting has completed. Thanks for understanding! Just want to keep things fair for those who don't have a blog.

Nathan Bransford said...

Also, excessively negative posts about the finalists will be deleted. Please remember to keep things positive even when offering constructive thoughts/criticism.

dan radke said...

Torn between Daniel and anon. Ummmm...

DW.

Carol Riggs said...

Argh! I can't decide between Anonymous and Daniel Wheatley; I like them both. Great voices there, and great intros. I think I will go with:

ANONYMOUS

Mostly because one line bothers me in Wheatley's, describing in an aside the father's German-ness all before the word Said. Otherwise I might've chosen that one. (Hey, I had to decide somehow.) I like the flow and sweet sense of mystery in the Anonymous one, even with the weak verb in the first sentence.

Orlando said...

Congratulations to all and my vote goes to Ben with Sasquatch close behind.

Maripat said...

Missed the contest but hey, these are some amazing finalists.

The Sasquatch gets my vote but seriously, Anon was a close second.

Loved them both.

John Jack said...

Anonymous' paragraph raises the most profound dramatic question, and got me thinking, and was most memorable, all criteria that suit what interests my reading appreciation. So it gets my vote.

I hope at some future time to have the dramatic question answered. "I missed you," Matilda said. What's that about?

Also, though my paragraph didn't place, I'm strongly interested in receiving an ARC of Jacob Wonderbar for review purposes.

I'm Stephanie said...

Hilary!

Munk said...

They are all very awfully good.

I like Anon.

Kendal said...

My vote is for Anonymous. Loved it!

Molten said...

Congratulations, everyone! My vote goes to Anonymous.

Ben said...

Will hold out Nathan! I'm already very happy with my nomination. I just hope every finalist will do the same. I trust them though

Red said...

Congrats to all finalists. The Sasquatch one is pretty good but my vote goes for Ben!

H. Pinski said...

I read them and walked away for awhile. I vote for anonymous. The first line grabbed me and kept hold.

Congrats everyone!

Janice said...

Anonymous!
I was born during an electrical storm...
Is my vote. Anonymous stood well above the others.

Laurel said...

The Sasquatch gets my vote, but Anonymous is a really close second.

Congrats to all.

Mel said...

The Sasquatch!!!

Laura Kaye said...

Congrats to all! My vote goes to Anonymous--so atmospheric. Makes me want to know what happens next!

Karen Peterson said...

The finalists are all fantastic (of course) but my vote goes to Daniel Wheatley.

How could you NOT want to read more??

Chrys said...

I vote for Anonymous. Elegant and interesting beginning.

Rebecca T. said...

Anonymous. I love it so much.

Kathleen T. Jaeger said...

The Sasquatch

congrats to all the finalist and honorable mentions

Chrys said...

And I thought it was interesting that Nathan liked intros with a definite setting.

Kayeleen Hamblin said...

I vote for Anonymous with Daniel Wheatley right behind.

Janice said...

I vote for Daniel Wheatley

Patricia Stoltey said...

Congrats to the finalists and the honorable mentions. My vote goes to Hilary!

Rebecca said...

Have to go with The Sasquatch. Good job.

Kate Larkindale said...

I'm with Daniel Wheatly.

k10wnsta said...

wow
Those were all pretty damn good finalists this time around. I mean, they're all usually at least readable, but these went beyond that.
In choosing just one to vote for, I was torn between Daniel's entry and the one submitted by Anonymous. There was such a blatant creativity in Daniel's piece - I'd definitely keep reading his work to see if he could maintain it. But in the end, I couldn't get past how much depth, detail, interest, and wonder Anonymous created in just 44 words. So I have to cast my vote for

Anonymous

...but I tip my hat to all who posted their work to be scrutinized by the interwebz.

Caroline said...

Katie Tyler Wall (It was Ricky Dick...)

Naomi Canale said...

Ben!

Congratulations everyone, there's some amazing work out there, wow!!!

Elizabeth said...

Anonymous for me.

Iliadfan said...

Loved Hilary's and Daniel Wheatley's almost as much, but my vote goes to Kate Tyler Wall.

Donea Lee said...

Congrats to the finalists and honorable mentions! You're ALL winners just to be plucked from the masses who entered this contest ~ :) Yay!

I'm torn between Sasquatch and Daniel Wheatley - but, as I tend to enjoy the fantastical better...

I'm going to vote for Daniel Wheatley.

Amy Saia said...

KTW's cracked me up. But they were all so, sooooo good. Congrats to zee finalists!

Sean said...

I liked Ben!

Its first paragraph left a lot of wheels turning inside my head, which is tough to do, but what you want to see right out of the gate. All of the finalists were awesome!

Holly West said...

Daniel Wheatley!

Keetha said...

Congratulations to everyone! The entry here by Anonymous is my favorite.

ddelano said...

Congratulations to all! These were truly wonderful all around. I vote for Anonymous - it is beautiful and moving in just a few sentences.
One thing I notice about all these finalists, is the voice - above everything else they each have that magical ingredient of voice.
Well done all!

Gypmar said...

Anonymous.

Ted said...

Anonymous, by a creepy fingernail over Daniel Wheatley.

brendacee said...

anonymous

Suzie F. said...

Well done, everyone!

My vote is for Hilary

Melody said...

My vote is for The Sasquatch! :) (For the record, I read them all.)

Marlene Nash-McKay said...

Congrats to all the brilliant and inspirational paragraphs.
My vote goes to..... Anonymous

Marsha Sigman said...

Holy Crap, this is hard. Plus I am trying to vote through my blind jealousy.

I am going with Anonymous.

But Ben's was absolutely awesome and after the first sentence of Sasquatch's, it was obvious he was describing my dad.lol Great imagery.

Kathryn said...

I vote for Anonymous - the electrical storm.

Mismikado said...

The Sasquatch has my vote! :) As soon as I read it I wanted to read the rest of the story.
Did anyone else notice that Anonymous had the exact same first line as O.K. Go's song "Do What You Want"?

Dea said...

Daniel Wheatley!

Hilarious!

Congratulations to all the finalists and the runners up!

Keith Popely said...

I vote for Hilary's, which was similar to mine except much better.

D.G. Hudson said...

BEN gets my vote. Great set-up, makes me wonder what Charles is up to.

Good going to all the honorable mentions too!!

Matthew Rush said...

I vote for Sasquatch, and not because it's first, but because, to me, it's the funniest.

Janiel Miller said...

They're all brilliant, and I'm thinking of taking up pottery now. But until then . . .

Sasquatch! You have my vote. Your final line gets two of my votes, if that's legal.

Go finalists!

Jessica said...

Daniel Wheatley.

That one literally yanked a response out of me, (I laughed.) and I was immediately disappointed that there wasn't anything else to read about it.

Nathan, this was an amazing learning experience, just by seeing what 'works'. Thank you.

the Amateur Book Blogger said...

Daniel Wheatley


Well done everyone.

Hilary said...

Thank you so much, Nathan! Totally made my month! Congratulations to the other finalists and the honorable mentions. If finalists are permitted to vote, I would like to vote for Ben's paragraph.

Jessie Oliveros said...

Honorable mention! That is REALLY great news.

I vote for Anonymous whoever you are. I liked it because it was simple and mysterious.

Robin said...

Anonymous!

Stacy McKitrick said...

Congratulations to all the finalists and honorable mentions.

My vote goes to Anonymous!

Kathleen said...

I vote for Anonymous.

marilynpeake said...

Congratulations to all the winners! I vote for: Ben.

Rick said...

Really hard choice here. Teetering between Ben and Anonymous. The mystery presented so succinctly in Anon's grabs me by the throat. Love it. But Ben's grabs me by the head and heart.

Ben

(And pretty thrilled here to be among the honorable mentions. Thanks for that, Nathan.)

kellyallanwriter said...

Hilary

Darla said...

Anonymous

katehyde said...

Tough call, but I vote for Hilary.

Beth said...

The Sasquatch

Elisabeth said...

My vote is for Sasquatch.

Real cab driver said...

The Sasquatch

The best of the finalists.

Liana said...

haha sasquatch ftw. loved it. so funny

maggsie1 said...

I like anonymous best. Succinct, but riveting.

Summer Frey said...

Throw me in with The Sasquatch. Like, my vote. Not me personally.

Leah said...

Thanks so much for the honorable mention, Nathan! Not too shabby.

My vote goes to Anonymous, the electrical storm.

monkeybethmedia said...

This is a tough one. I thought they were all good, but the one that made me go, "Oh," is the one I have to vote for.

Anonymous - your paragraph made me want to see more!

Great beginning!

Kristine Overbrook said...

They are all good, but I like

Daniel Wheatley!

best

Lisa said...

Anonymous.

It was the one that most made me want to read more.

AveryMarsh said...

Congrats to all the finalists!

I was torn between Anonymous and Daniel Wheatley, but... I'm going to have to go with Anonymous.

So much oomph packed into such a small paragraph.

letmewritethat said...

They're all interesting, but Anonymous gets my vote! That paragraph sparks many questions.

cwsherwoodedits said...

Anonymous!

demetrab82 said...

Congratulations to all, but my vote goes to Anonymous.

LadySaotome said...

I vote for Daniel Wheatley - sounds just the type of tongue-in-cheek writing I love similar to Philip Reeve's or Diana Wynne Jones!

Mayowa said...

Vote goes to Ben

Jared said...

Anonymous

Pen and Ink said...

Cannot Decide!!! They were all great. Finally whittled down to Sasquatch and Anonymous. I would read those books in a heartbeat.

mystwood said...

Anonymous!

Brittany said...

Anonymous!

Book Owl said...

I don't know who to vote for, Daniel Wheatley or Anonymous! They're both really good. Anonymous's sounds like it would be a more serious book than Daniel Wheatley's, but Daniel Wheatley's sound like it would be lighthearted and fun!

. . . Okay, I'm going with Daniel Wheatley. That's who I'm voting for.

But despite that, I hope that both Anonymous and Daniel Wheatley finish their books and manage to get them published because they both sound so so awesome!

Good luck, you two!

v.n.rieker said...

Wow... this is a tough call!
I almost feel bad picking one. But as I have to, I'm going with

Daniel Wheatley

because, whether it's literal or symbolic, the image is clear, funny, and fascinating. Well done!

Rick Fry said...

My vote is for Hilary.

That last line was a killer.

Thanks for hosting, Nathan. It was fun!

Michelle McLean said...

The Sasquatch (with Anon's being a very close second)

Martinelli Gold said...

My vote goes to Anonymous, because I wanted to keep reading.

Although Hilary's strongly reminded me of Gabriel Garcia Marquez, and being compared to a Nobel prize winner aint too shabby.

Akila @ The Road Forks said...

Congrats to all! For me, Daniel Wheatley. I love the name --- for some reason, it recalled to mind Major Major Major in Catch-22.

Tony said...

I hate to be a Debbie Downer but the Sasquatch's opening line about never being as good as the wall in tennis is an old Mitch Hedberg joke. So, that paragraph loses a couple of points for me.

Justin Greathouse said...

The Sasquatch

Fresh Water Mermaids said...

Congratulations to ALL! Great Runner Up and Great Finalists!

My vote is for : Anonymous!

Nancy said...

Anonymous

Heidi said...

Ben! Anonymous! The Sasquatch! Too much awesome! Who to pick?

...

My vote's going to Anonymous.

Tom Mullin said...

Daniel Wheatley gets my vote.

Dave Symonds said...

My vote is for Anonymous. Close second to The Sasquatch.

Karla said...

I vote for Anonymous.

The Sasquatch said...

Holy Crap!

The Sasquatch

Michael said...

The Sasquatch!!

Anna & Michael Gildein said...

The Sasquatch!!

Amy said...

Sasquatch

Kristy Marie Feltenberger Gillespie said...

Anonymous

Amy said...

Sasquatch!

Kay said...

The Sasquatch or Hilary...Urrrggh.

I vote for Hilary. Something in her paragraph makes me really want to know more about Jesus Arturo Alvarez! Layering is the most likely answer.

Congrats to all the finalists and thanks to Nathan for an awesome 4th round.

All-Stars said...

My vote is for Anonymous.
All the paragraphs are well written and each have their own unique energy. Great job to all the finalists and congrats to the honorable mentions! Keep up the great writing.

Karen said...

The Sasquatch or Annonymous! I can't decide.

Oh ok, if pushed I'd say Annoymous! but I'd read both their novels.

Kim said...

anonymous.

Steve said...

Sasquatch, hands down

Deniselle said...

Congrats to the winners! :) Well deserved, all of you.

Daniel Wheatley gets my vote. Hilarious and skilful - the heavy name threw me off at first, but reading the reason for it.. brilliant.

Juliana L. Brandt said...

Daniel Wheatley!

Ashley said...

I vote for Daniel! I would want to read the rest of that story! Great job!

Joanna St. James said...

I choose Ben it makes me think - I like that.

The Personal Assistant said...

Sasquatch.
Anonymous, a close second

T. Anne said...

Oh Anon, why couldn't you just use your name. My vote is for anon.

Nathan, in the event you have 400 anon's step forward to claim their prize, can you throw in an autographed copy of your awesome book for me too?

BTW, will you be doing bookplates? I'd be pleased with that as well. I'll even throw in a SASE.

N said...

The Sasquatch!

TKAstle said...

sooo hard to choose. I'm torn between Sasqutch, Daniel and anonymous.

I'm going with Anonymous. I really want to know these sisters.

Steve Bradley said...

Kate Tyler Wall.

I loved that paragraph back when I first read it. Glad to see it made the finals.

Qzie said...

All of them! Ha. Actually, gonna go with Daniel Wheatley.

lac582 said...

Congrats to everyone!

My vote is for Ben.

I didn't make it through all 1500 entries, but I find it interesting that the majority of the finalists feel like literary, whereas the majority of the entries felt like commercial works.

Mariam said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mariam said...

Anonymous...quickly sparks curiosity...

Kelly Andrews said...

Changed my vote... Now it's ANONYMOUS!

Aimee * Kirsten said...

Anonymous.

I am actually a bit sad I can't read the rest of anon's book right now.

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