Nathan Bransford, Author


Monday, April 13, 2009

Be An Agent for a Day: Query #6

This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here

Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!



Dear Agent for a Day,

A hard-driving VP at OmniGlobe Entertainment comes up with a bold strategy to form the most lucrative band in the world—a children’s band. For rock and roll talent scout Chandra West, that means auditioning hopefuls for the reality show “Children’s Superstar,” and promising to revive her childhood idol’s career after the VP muscles him out. But first she has to manage the new band, whose handsome lead singer is surprisingly talented. Unfortunately, one of his talents is rebellion.

From L.A. boardrooms to Asia and ValueVille, Missouri, THE KNOCK-OFFS (commercial fiction, 103,000 words) is a satiric riff on children’s music, greedy corporations, and the challenge of earning a living without selling your soul.

When I was a journalist, my work appeared over 200 times in newspapers and magazines such as Portland Monthly and Forbes ASAP. I’m also the co-author of an academic book, Super-Patriots in America: A Century of Growing Influence (Hollowbrook Press, 1995).

Thanks for considering this project, and I look forward to hearing from you.

Author

STATS: 24% request rate






352 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 352   Newer›   Newest»
hannah said...

Dear Author,

I'm intrigued--could you email the entire manuscript?

Best,
hannah

brian_ohio said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best,

Brian

reader said...

Pass with comments.

While your query is strong and voice compelling, I have no interest in rock bands. Best of luck with your agent search.

Also, you might want to reconsider marketing this as a YA. The themes/
plot might be stronger for that category.

PurpleClover said...

Dear author:

Thank you for considering me for representation. I feel that the hook could be stronger. I will pass at this time. Good luck!

Regards,
PC

Bane of Anubis said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for submitting your story; could you please send me the first thirty pages as a word .doc.

Bane

(reasoning: good writing - a bit more detail wanted and not up my alley in terms of interests - but ultimately it seems like something that might be able to sell in today's climate)

David said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but this project doesn't sound right for me.

Sincerely,
David

Kitti said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I regret to inform you that I am going to have to pass on this, but please keep me in mind for your future projects.

Best of luck,
Kitti

terri said...

Thank you for your query. I'm going to pass today, but offer a few comments.

This is a promising premise. However, I can't tell if it is a YA, a romance, a thriller, or a comedy. Please concentrate on the core of your story without delving off into all of the subplots.

Thanks again!

Josephine Damian said...

Awkwardly presented premise - "hard-driving" greedy MC does not come across as sympathetic - I had no sense of what conflict was.

Reject.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Oooh. I'm tempted. Piqued my interest even though this is not a genre I would read. I think it would be commercially appealing if the writing is good.

Dear Author,

Please send me the first 30 pages of your manuscript.

Sarah

One down, four more to go.

Matilda McCloud said...

Thanks for your query. I'm sorry, but I'll have to pass on this one.

Keep writing!

With my very best regards,

Matilda McCloud

Anonymous said...

Tighten the query a little more, and I might request pages. I want to see more about the kids, as this looks like it could rock as a YA or Middle grade novel.

Rebellious singer? Nah, not interested so much, but it would be fun to see how she balances the new guy with the kids.
Might be more drama with an older boozer still living in his glorious past. Him verses the kids, monopolizing her time, now I can see Disney snapping this up.

All the best,

Agent XXX

(Already one down, four more requests to go. Bring it!!)

Cat said...

Dear Author,

please send the completed manuscript as an rtf file to the following address: x@y.com

I am looking forward to reading this,
Cat

Chanelley said...

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not what I’m looking for at this time. However, do continue to query widely. After all, it does only take one agent to say yes! Though, I would like if you could keep me in mind for any other YA novels you may write in the future.
All the best,
Agent for the day

Derek said...

She falls in love with a children's band? Sorry but that's sick.

Eva Ulian said...

If you had told me what the main character's rebellion consisted of, I may have thought differently, but as it stands I don't see any conflict.

sally apokedak said...

Dear Author,

Sounds interesting.

Please send me the manuscript.

Agent

Rick said...

Author-

Sorry, but I don't represent mainstream/commercial fiction.

If you have not already, you may want to check out AgentQuery. It can help you find an Agent who best suits your needs.

http://www.agentquery.com/

Sincerely,
Rick O

jimnduncan said...

Thank you for taking the time to query me, but I'm afraid I must pass on your story. Best of luck in your continued endeavors.

(Reason: Not a topic I have any interest in)

scj said...

Please send the first three chapters and a synopsis to me. I look forward to reading this and hope it's as amusing as the query.

Scott said...

Dear Author,

While I'm a little confused where the "childhood" idol comes in, the rest of your story makes me want to find out for myself.

Please send the first three chapters and thank you for thinking of me.

Scott


(reason): Firstly, I like music and stories about the people in the industry. Secondly, I see good plot structure here and a subject that could sell a lot of books to a real crossover audience.

lesleylsmith said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query.
Your premise is interesting.
Please email me the first 3 chapters of your novel.
Thanks,
-Lesley

DeadlyAccurate said...

I like this. Please send the first three chapters.


(But as a critique from a fellow writer, let me add that I don't like the 2nd paragraph, from "a satiric riff" on).

Thomas said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not appropriate for my current needs. I wish you luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,
Tally

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit.

I am interested to read more!

Please forward me the first five
(5) chapters of your novel.

Regards,
Agent for a Day, Bookworm Megs

Chuck H. said...

Dear Author,

By incorporating several current addictions, i.e. reality TV, corporate greed, etc., you have piqued my interest. Please send me the first three chapters of your novel.

Sincerely,

Chuck

Dara said...

Personalized query for this one:

Dear The Knock-Offs,

Thank you for your query. There's a great sense of voice and the premise is interesting. However, I had a difficult time trying to figure out the core conflict of the book. Try to tighten up the focus of the story.

I wish you success in your search for representation.

Best,

Dara

writtenwyrdd said...

Form rejection.

The subject may be really interesting, but it sounds like the author is aiming for comedic take and the query did not reflect this. Also, some confusion re the description of the lead singer as "handsome" when presumably he's a minor--which put me off.

Lisa R said...

Dear Knock-offs:

Please send your manuscript as a Microsoft Word attachment at your earliest convenience.

Thanks.

Lisa R

This query is tightly constructed and gets right to the point. Well done. Not something I'd usually read but it's clear from the query that this person can write. Economy of words--very hard to do but makes for a good query.

Sophie W. said...

Dear Author of The Knockoffs,

Although your work shows merit, I cannot request further materials at this time. Keep in mind that this business is terribly subjective, and you'll probably get the chance to thumb your nose at me in the future.

Love,

Sophie

Karen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I am not sure if you intend this as a YA novel (which I do not reprensent) or as adult fiction.

While I am unable to request a partial manuscript at this time, I do welcome you to query me again at a future date.

Thank you,
Karen

Julie Weathers said...

Dear Author,

Please read submission guidelines and send me a partial.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

J.M. Agent

Onovello said...

Dear Author --

This sounds interesting. Please send the book!

All best,
Onovello

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

I'm intrigued by your query and would like to see 3 chapters and a synopsis.

Agent99

Reason: Sounds marketable. I'm not overly wowed, but willing to look at more to see how the characters and conflict develop

Keri Ford said...

Intersting. Can you send me the first chapter so I can get a feel of your writing?

thanks, Keri

<><><><><><>

This one would have benefitted from including pages. I could have asked for more had I seen how she handled things.

Colorado Writer said...

Sounds fascinating, but not a fit for my list. Little high on the word count.
Best,
Agent

Deaf Indian Muslim Anarchist! said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. It sounds intriguing and I would love to read it. Please e-mail me the first five pages of your manuscript. Please make sure to copy and paste it in the body of the e-mail, I don't open attachments.

Best,

S.

Megan said...

Dear Author,

I am not sure about the human element of your story or the strength of your characterization, but your concept has interested me. Please send the first thirty pages via email.

Sincerely,
Megan

Melina said...

Dear Author,

I'm sorry, but your idea does not interest me.

Best of luck,

Melina

Agent X said...

Dear Author,

This is one of those letters I loathe to write as an agent, because it's clear that you write well and you have marketable ideas. Subjectively, however, the material in THE KNOCK-OFFS is not something I feel I could zealously represent, as it would deserve. I have no doubt, however, that you will be snatched up quickly, and I truly do wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Agent X

TheDivaAgent said...

Dear Author-for-a-Day,

Blah, blah, blah-de-blah. This story doesn't have the vibe of a Forbes ASAP. You know who cares about kiddie bands? Kiddies. I rep pretty much anything that will put butter on my toast, but help me out here. You've gone all skewy in the demographics. Is this women's fiction? Is it general fiction? Is this another one of your yawner academic tomes? What the hey are you doing?

Bother someone else with this one. On the bright side, I'm going to order your Super Patriots book. Has that trend died out yet, or is it part of this tea party thing I keep reading about?

Cheers,

The Diva Agent

EMC07 said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. I'm interested in reading more. I'm confused about the genre. This might work better as a YA.

Questions: How old is your MC? She describes the lead singer as handsome? This confused me.

Please send the first three chapters of your manuscript.

Thank you,
emc

PPP said...

Dear Author,

I'd love to see more. If only you promise me not to allow Zac Efron to be cast in the movie adaptation.

Please send along the first fifty pages. Thanks.

Signed,
PPP

AgentMan said...

Sorry, this isn't something I'd be interested in. Best of luck.

AgentMan

7-iron said...

reject w/comments

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your proposal for The Knock-Offs. Unfortunately, I cannot offer you representation, at this time.
Yours,
7-iron.

The premise seems interesting. Although, I had to read it a few times to be sure that the "Children's Band" is, in fact, a band of adults. (Actually, I'm still unsure on that.) Regardless, what's at stake? If Chandra is the main character she is only challenged (by the rebelliousness), she is not outwardly acting, herself, and that's a dangerous situation for a main character.

ai-hua said...

Dear Author,

I love watching American Idol, and I'm hoping this will be something in a similar vein. I'm intrigued enough by this premise to ask for the manuscript--please submit ASAP.

Best regards,
Ai Hua

Steph said...

Dear (your name),

Hmm, interesting. I was disappointed by the end of your hook paragraph when the stakes seemed so minimal and vague to the point where there's no tension or suspense apparent to me. I'm ultimately choosing to pass, but it was a close call.

Never forget to query widely, as opinions vary greatly in this business.

Best of luck,
Steph

(This is one of those queries where if some sample pages were included, I would've definitely taken a look. However, as I have nothing to go on, I'm just going to focus what really grabs me.)

KC in SF said...

wo, that sounds interesting. Please send me the first 50 pages.

best wishes,

KC in SF

David de Beer said...

Dear Author,

thanks for your interest but I'm afraid I'm going to pass this time.

Sincerely,
David de Beer

A Gent said...

Dear Author,
Good enough query, and project sounds interesting but too much like something that would work better as a movie perhaps.

Simply not quite right for me.

Best,
A Gent

Monika said...

Thank you for your submission, but I do not think this project is right us. This is a subjective business and other agencies will feel differently. We wish you every success with your project.

JuJu said...

Dear Author,

Your premise and characters are interesting. However this project just isn't right for me: though I'll be more than happy to provide you with any recommendations if you want them.

Best Regards,
JuJu

Rick Daley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Authors’ Write Literary Agency. I have reviewed your query for THE KNOCK-OFFS, and I’m sorry to say that I do not feel that I am the best agent to represent your work at this time.

Please keep in mind that there are many talented agents out there, and opinions are subjective based on individual preferences, workload, and market climate.

Don’t be afraid to research other agents and query those that you feel are best suited to represent your work. Best of luck!

Regards,

Daley Agent for a Day

Nixy Valentine said...

Dear Author:

I'm sorry, but this project isn't right for me.

Notes: Really it was that the theme didn't appeal to me. Overall the query was well written.

Trix said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but I have to pass. I'm worried that your main character is going from business to babysitting real fast, and that doesn't intrigue me. Cutting edge and American Idol don't fit in the same sentence anymore.

Best Regards,
Trix

Superfast said...

Thank you so much for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't feel I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Good luck and keep writing!

Laurel said...

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me.

I think a 103K satire is going to be a hard sell. Satire is difficult to write and your query doesn't me the sense you can sustain the right tone over 103K words.

You write about a children's band, which makes me picture preteens. Then you describe the lead singer as handsome and rebellious. This sounds like a teenager and there is nothing new about lucrative teenage bands.

If the band is indeed a children's band, I have a hard time picturing it as the most lucrative band in the world. Perhaps this is where the satire comes in.

I'm sorry. This doesn't work for me. It may work for others.

K.D. said...

Query6

Dear Author,

Thank your for your query. Unfortunately, I don't think your project sounds right for me.

Sincerely,

Agent K.D.

Notes: I'm definitely finding that if I was an agent, I'd want the first 5 pages attached. If pages were attached, I'd read them. While this isn't the kind of book that I read, it does sound interesting. Not interesting enough to burn one of my 5 requests for, though.

jjdebenedictis said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent query; discovering new talent is one of the joys of being a literary agent, and I am always honoured to have the opportunity to read a writer's best work.

Please accept my regrets, however, as I won't be offering to represent this novel. I apologize for informing you of this using a form letter, but the volume of mail I receive makes it impractical for me to give personalized rejections.

I wish you the very best luck in finding a literary agent whose enthusiasm will bring your book the success it deserves!

Sincerely,
J. J. DeGoblin

~~~~~~~
For your reference, here are the most common reasons why I decline certain queries. Please note that if your submission was very good, my reasons for rejecting it were probably much subtler than the items on this list and cannot be put quickly into words. Again, I apologize for this form letter, but I cannot invest the time to critique those submissions I have chosen to not represent. Thank you for your understanding.


Most common reasons why I decline manuscripts:

[ ]--The manuscript is in a genre which I don't represent

[ ]--The query appears to be a non-personalized mass mailing

[ ]--The query/manuscript's presentation was worryingly unpolished
(E.g. Many spelling, grammar, punctuation or homophone errors; a non-standard format)

[ ]--The writing doesn't seem polished enough
(This improves with practice; your next novel may be excellent)

[ ]--The plot doesn't sound compelling enough
(Again, this improves with practice and self-education)

[ ]--The plot sounds too similar to something book-buyers have already seen


Comments, if any:
This is a really neat idea, but I'm not sure if there would be enough of a market for the book. Keep querying it; you may find an agent who knows how to sell it. I was sorry to turn this down. Good luck!

Lucy Ammunition said...

Oh my GOD!!! A Reality Novel?
Really?

Excuse me a minute, counting my fingers and toes, trying to see if they're all still here.

No, really, REALLY!!! I can't REALLY send this response.

Note to secretary: please refill aspirin supply in medicine closet.
Make that bourbon flavored.

Note to intern: attach form letter apologetic reject.

Sincerely,
Lucy Ammunition
Fictitious Agent

quixotic said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, however, I do not feel excited enough about this story to request anything further.

Good luck in your search for an agent.

Quixotic

Jeni said...

Dear Knock-Off,
Thank you for your query. I sincerely appreciate the opportunity to review your proposal, and found the premise for your manuscript intriguing. However, I’m afraid that the manuscript does not meet my needs at this time. Please do continue to send your work to other agents, as someone else may feel differently.
Best of luck in your publishing endeavors,
Jeni

Cat Hellisen said...

Dear Author

I like the sound of this. Please send a brief synopsis and the first 50 pages attached as a doc.

Best,
Cat

suki said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. While the voice and premise are interesting, I'm afraid this project isn't right for me. Good luck in your search for representation.

Regards,
Suki


Reasoning: While it is timely and the voice is interesting, I was somewhat confused by the plotting and not hooked on anything but the initial premise. So, if told from this protagonist, I don't think the perspective works for me. Hard pass, but I would pass.

Flemmily said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I'm intrigued by your plot, and I would like to read more. Could you please send me the first three chapters of THE KNOCK-OFFS?

Thanks,

Flemmily

DCS said...

Thank you but your query does not match my interests.

Dorine White said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best regards,
Agent for a day

selestial-owg said...

Dear Author,

While your premise is intriguiging, I just feel this would be a difficult sell. I wish you luck with other agents.

Selestial


This is a tough one for me, and I was tempted to request a chapter, but I forgot the limit of 5 earlier and don't want to make the same mistake twice. I think the idea is interesting, but I'm really not sure if this is supposed to be about her forming the band, hooking up with her childhood idol, or something else.

romoak said...

Dear Author,

This sounds very interesting. Please send me a synopsis and the first 50 pages.

---
Request #1

While this isn't completely to my taste, I think I might be able to get into it if the story lives up to the query. Also, it sounds high concept, and might make me money :)

Gryph said...

Dear Author,

Thank you very much for your query. While I appreciate the time and effort you've put into your work, I don't believe this is a good fit for me.

Please remember that what doesn't fit one agent may well fit another! I encourage you to not give up. In the future, if you have other manuscripts to query, I hope that you'll think of me again.

Sincerely,

Agent Gryph

Belinda Frisch said...

Dear Author,

I found your query to be unique and interesting and am hereby requesting your manuscript.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards,
Belinda

Tamara said...

Dear Author of The Knock-offs,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, this project isn't for me.

Best wishes,
Agent for a Day
(Tamara)

Jenn Johansson said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I am going to have to pass. I found the sentence about muscling out the childhood idol confusing. I would recommend revamping that a little.

Best of luck!
JR

ccallicotte4 said...

Thank you for sending me your query. I appreciate you considering me.

I reviewed your proposal and unfortunately am going to pass on representing it. Please keep in mind that this is a subjective business, and another agent may feel differently. I encourage you to query widely.

Best of luck to you.

Shawntelle said...

Dear Author,

Interesting premise, but I'm afraid this isn't the type of book I am interested in representing right now. Good luck in your pursuit of representation.

Sincerely,

Shawntelle

Reesha said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission and I appreciate you considering me as your possible agent.
This piece has intrigued me. Could you please send me the entire manuscript?
I look forward to hearing from you.
Best regards,
Reesha

super agent nicole said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. I was impressed with your succinct writing style and unique premise. I would be happy to review your manuscript.

Thank you
Nicole

Caroline said...

Dear Author:

Please send me the first three chapters of your manuscript as soon as possible. I see potential in the premise.

Thank you for submitting,

Agent Caroline

Bija Andrew Wright said...

I had a hard time figuring out who the intended audience for this is. It doesn't sound very commercially viable. Best of luck.

Christine Rose said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

Casey said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your time and consideration. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent THE KNOCK-OFFS.

That said, the query is very well written. I felt compelled to request for the quality alone, and would have if the story was a young adult novel focused on one of the band members.

Best wishes,

Casey

bridge said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, unfortunately I have to pass.
Best of luck.
Sincerely,
Bridge

On a personal note, the query seemed bogged down and very wordy. The excitement just wasn't there even though I got a sense that it might be in the story. I need to feel some of the voice in the book, to know why I'm going to like these characters, why I'm going to want to read about them for over 100,000 words. The premise is good and could be great. I would work on tightening up the query. Lose all the extra information and focus on one main thing, give it voice and you're good to go.
Hope this helps.
Bridge

beth said...

Dear Author,

Although I appreciate your submission, I'm sorry but it just isn't for me. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.

Sincerely,
beth

(Reasoning: There's more set-up than conflict here.)

BJ said...

I'm sorry, but I'll have to pass. It sounds like it could be a very interesting book, but it's not a genre I usually represent. Good luck in your search for an agent! - BJ

One note: Not quite sure where her 'childhood idol' comes into things. How important is it to the story? It seems as though you could remove that sentence and have a stronger query letter.

BTW, very professional. I wouldn't be surprised if this were one of the published entries.

:)Ash said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your interest in my agency. Unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for you at this time. Best wishes as you continue your search.

Sincerely yours,

:)Ash

Joy said...

Author,

Please send me the first 30 pages of your manuscript. I'm intrigued by the premise, but a little unclear about the role the childhood idol plays in the story. Looking forward to reading more.

Sincerely,

Joy

sirayn said...

Dear X,

Thank you for your query. I’m afraid I have to pass, but I wish you luck in finding an agent who’s passionate about your work.

Today’s Agent

(Reasoning: interested and prepared to be hooked, but the query didn't clinch the final transaction. I have no sense of what the protagonist is like, what her goal is or what stops her getting it. Okay, the lead singer's rebellion must be awkward, but why does the protagonist *really* care? About to be fired? Being publicly humiliated? I need something more than a problem within the protagonist's sphere of influence to really emotionally invest in the conflict. I would workshop the query, as I suspect the problem is there rather than in the underlying manuscript. I'd be prepared to read the attached pages and possibly request more if they're good.)

Chrissy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but it isn't what Im looking for at this time. Good luck with your publishing endeavors.

Kiki

Ulysses said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
John said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for giving me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, it's not something I think I can sell at present. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.

Vicky said...

Dear author,

The premise for the Knock-offs is intriguing. Please send me the first 100 pages as an email attachment. Be certain to put REQUESTED MATERIAL in the subject line.

All best,

Agent Vicky

K. Andrew Smith said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
K. Andrew Smith said...

Dear author,

Thank you for your submission, The Knock-offs. Unfortunately, it's not quite right for me. I wish you good fortune in your quest for an agent.

Sincerely,

K. Andrew Smith

The Classic Carol said...

Thanks for your query. It is our top priority to select what best matches our agency. We wish you success as you pursue an agent better suited to your work.

Don said...

[form rejection]

Heather said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't for me.

Sincerely,
Heather

Harsh Critic said...

The premise seems terrific.

However, the writing seemed a bit awkward, and I was worried I wouldn't be able to root for the main character as she has not been described very well in your query letter.

This was a very close call for me, but I have to pass.

Anonymous said...

Dear author,
Your manuscript is just not right for me. Thanks for querying.

sincerely,
moniza

Madison said...

Dear Author,

Thank you so much for your submission. I am interested in your project. Please mail me a hard copy of your complete manuscript. You need not include a SASE for reply as I will contact you through e-mail. Please also note that your manuscript will not be returned and should I pass it will be shredded.

I look forward to reading your work!

Sincerely,

Madison

Reason for accepting: Strong voice and sounds like it has drama with humor. Working with kids can be hard and I am interested to see how this story pans out. I hope the author doesn't leave me disappointed! :)

Amy said...

Dear Author,

While your query was well-written, you have neglected some important points. What is the target audience for this book? Where did the hard-driving VP muscle her childhood idol out from? Does she know her childhood idol personally? And why does an adult think that the lead singer of a children's band is handsome?

If you were considering YA as an audience for this book, I think the title "children's band" would be off-putting and would limit your chances of sales to a publisher.

Sincerely,
Amy

Laura said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but your subject isn't a good fit for me.

Best of luck,

Agent Laura

sraasch said...

Dear Author,

Despite the imposing word count, I'm very intrigued. First five chapters, please!

Thanks!
Sara

Cat Moleski said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, however, at this time I must pass on your project.

Cat

Steve Axelrod said...

I have to pass, I'm afraid.This idea has potential, but I found your query confusing. If it's a children's band, why would its success help the comeback of an aging rock star? And why would a children's band automatically be the most lucrative in the world? You need to clarify these points before you submit again. Your book may be great -- make sure that quality shines through in your query.

Moth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query to Moth's Literary Agency. While your story sounds interesting, I'm afraid it's just not right for us. Best of luck in your writing career.

Sincerely,
Moth

dhole said...

Dear Author, thanks for thinking of me, but it's not quite right for my list at this time. Yrs, etc.

~Jamie said...

Dear A,

I'm intrigued and would love to read your story. Please mail me the first three chapters. Thanks!

~Jamie

Ramen with cheese said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for allowing RJM Agency to consider your work, but I’m afraid it’s not a good fit for our list. We wish you every bit of luck in your search for representation.

RJM

lucy in the sky said...

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately I don't feel I am the best person to represent this project.

The Writers Canvas said...

I'm intrigued by your premise and background. Could you please send the first 30 pages?

Thank you,

Elaine

(the query kind of confused me some, but your premise sounds tempting so that is what got me to request it. I'd recommend sharpening up the sentences in the query, because it is a great concept. In the end, that's why I decided for a request on this one.)

Nik said...

Thank you for your submission. I'm going to pass at this time.

Hilabeans said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hilabeans said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. I regret to say that I don’t feel that I’m the most appropriate agent for this project.

Best wishes,

HHS

Barb said...

Dear Author,

Thanks you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.

All the best,
Barb

Cassandra said...

Dear Author,

I'm afraid that at this time I am unable to offer representation for your novel. This is purely a business decision, and unfortunately means that we must turn away many talented individuals. I encourage you to continue querying agents you think might be interested.

I appreciate your interest in Agent for A Day, and wish you every success in your writing career.



Regards,
Cassandra

Tryst888 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query but I'm afraid I will have to pass on this one. Best of luck to you in your future endeavors.

Endless Secrets said...

Dear Author
Thank you for your query, i regret to inform you that it does not seem right for me.

Best of Luck
-Lea

Dawn G. said...

Dear Author,

Unfortunately, I am unable to offer you representation at this time. Thank you for submitting your work for consideration. Please keep me in mind for future projects.

Kindest Regards,

D. Agent

Miss Lily said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for allowing me to read this query, but it's not right for me. Best of luck, and please keep me in mind for future projects.

Lily

Reason: I like the query letter, but it's not something I'd personally be passionate about.

Gwen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest. Unfortunately, this project is not a good fit for me at the present time.

Regards,

Gwen

KathyF said...

Dear Author of Query #6,

Thank you for your query, but THE KNOCK-OFFS isn't right for me.

KathyF

wickerman said...

Dear Author,

The Knock-offs sounds like a strong novel, but it is simply not right for me. Thank you for your submissions.


Best of Luck,

The Wickerman

Nathan Bransford's hero

Kristine Overbrook said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but it’s not what we are looking to represent at this time.

Thank you and good luck,
Agent F A Day

I don't really see anything new here.

Calli said...

Dear Author,

I have received your query for The Knock-Offs and am interested. Please submit the complete manuscript for further review.

Regards,
Calli
_____
(Side note: I chuckled when I finished reading the first paragraph, and assumed that this was a parody or satire before that was even mentioned in the query. The novel elements mentioned sound like they could work together as comedy -- the trick is seeing how the author pulls it off. The use of 'handsome' to describe the lead singer is problematic -- even if the singer's 18-19, and the talent scout's young and new to the field, it's kind of creepy that she might be thinking of him like that. (And not creepy in a way that would be uncomfortably funny, but just uncomfortable.) On the other hand, if the word 'handsome' was supposed to imply squeeing fangirls and humor at their expense, that needs to be made more plain.)

Craven said...

Thank you for your consideration, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck, Craven

Horserider said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for allowing us to consider your work. I’m sorry to say that this is not something we are interested in at this time. We receive hundreds of submissions every week and, unfortunately, cannot take them all on. This is a very subjective business and I wish you luck on your journey to publication.

Sincerely,

Horserider Literary Agency

sKim said...

Thank you for letting us consider this original proposal. We regret that we must pass on this opportunity. Best of luck to you.

SammyStewart said...

I would like a reading of this.

EJN said...

Dear Author,

Please send me the first three chapters of your manuscript.

Best of luck,
Agent EJN

Dana said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I am not interested in representing your novel.

Regards,

Dana

reasons: The query was quite long and lost my interest. I think it might work better as a YA novel, but It really just wasn't something I would read, so I couldn't sell it. Others might be more interested.

Dave said...

Sounds interesting. Please send it along.

Agent KES said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I am not able to offer you representation at this time. Best of luck,

Agent KES

Cindy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query for The Knock-offs. Please e-mail the first 50 pages of the manuscript.

Thanks,
Cindy

spinney said...

Please forward the first 50mm as an email attachment.

Thanks,

AgentGirl

Kavanaugh and Byrne LA said...

Dear Author

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to consider your work at Kavanaugh and Byrne’s Literary Agency.
We were impressed by the concept.
We would appreciate it if you would send us additional details and the first three chapters.
Our query e-mail address can be found at the top of this communication.
We look forward to hearing from you.

Flower Kavanaugh

Kelly Guentner said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for the query. I regret to inform you that this is not the right work for me to represent at this time.

I wish you luck in your future writing career.

Sincerely,
Kelly Guentner

StrugglingToMakeIt said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Best,

Agent

Bekkoni said...

Dear author,

I am intrugied by your submisson. Please send the first twenty pages as a word document.

Sincerely,
Bekkoni

ikmar said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. Sorry, but it is not for me.

Sincerely,
Agent for the Day

Disgruntled Bear said...

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately I am going to have to pass at this time.
I wish you the best of luck with another agent.

Sincerely,
Agent

Jen C said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to the Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever. I regret that, at this time, your project is not quite what I’m looking for. I wish you the best of luck in your continuing search for representation.
Sincerely,
Jen C.

lindsey said...

dear author:

thank you very much for thinking of me for this project. i very much enjoyed your query and would like to request the first three chapters of this novel. looking forward to reading it.

best,
lindsey

EJ Lange said...

Author,

Thank you for your query. This was a very close call for me, as I think the premise is unique and timely, given our American Idol-obsessed culture. Unfortunately, I am unable to take on more material at this time. I wish you luck in your search for representation. I am certain an agent will snap you up in no time.

Agent Erin

Melinda said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but unfortunately this project isn't right for me. Best of luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,

Melinda

P.S. I was a bit confused. Are the members of the band children, or is this a band (of adults) whose fans are children?

Adam Heine said...

I'm sorry. This doesn't sound right for me. Thank you for submitting.

Anonymous said...

No thank you. Best of luck in your endeavors.

-Agent Pro Tempore

Pinkie said...

Dear Author,

You present some glimmer of talent, but I'm afraid it's not matured just yet. Perhaps your novel is better than you present in this query. If so, write a better query and resend.

Thanks.
CPK

Anonymous said...

I thought a lot about this one. I think there’s a shortage of quality satires being published now and if handled right, I love stories about music. The problem I had was that it didn’t make me laugh and didn’t give me enough of the story. I’ll pass, but I think this has promise.

XWD Literary Agency

Tara Ryan said...

Dear Author,
Thank you so much for submitting your work to me. Unfortunately, The Knock-offs is not a good fit for me at this time. I wish you much luck in your writing endeavors.
Agent-for-a-day

Soratian said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid it's a no for me.

While the premise is interesting, the issue for me is in how your story would work. I don't really understand how the rock & roll band will appeal to children so I'm not quite convinced.

Also, while I like the sound of a rock & roll talent scout, there isn't enough hook in your subplot about her childhood idol and the lead singer of the band.

You might want to work on addressing these areas in your pitch.

Good luck!
Soratian

Kristi said...

Thank you for your query. I don't feel this is right for me but I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,
Kristi

Annalee said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your manuscript. I'm afraid it isn't right for me.

Regards,
-Annalee

-----------
Reason: Just didn't grab me--someone else might feel differently. Quick note: the way it's worded, it sounds like the author is describing the child band's lead singer as handsome, which comes off a bit creepy. I'm sure it's not meant that way.

Meg Trotter said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this is not right for me. There does not seem to be enough conflict in the story to hold my interest.
Best of luck elsewhere,

Megan

Polenth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I'm going to have to pass. Though the voice was strong, I was left unsure of the conflict in this novel. Good luck with your future submissions.

--
Polenth

Other Lisa said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission - I'd love to see the first fifty pages. Please send as an attached Word doc with "requested material" in the subject line - and it's helpful for me if you include the query in the body of the email.

Thanks very much, and I'm looking forward to reading!

Best,

Agent X

Jeanne Tomlin said...

Form rejection

CJK said...

Thank you for your query. I am not interested in further materials on this work. Good luck with your search for representation. CJK

bookshop said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent submission. While our agency is not the best fit for this particular project, other agents may feel differently. I wish you luck in your search for representation.


Regards,

Bookshop


______

(Hi!

This was a close call for me. In the end my decision not to request pages was primarily based on what I feel is a slight inconsistency between the voice and tone of this query, which strongly remind me of YA "coming of age in hollywood novels" like "one of those hideous books where the mother dies" and "beige" - and the stated intended genre, commercial literary satire. It's not that I don't think it could work; but I think you have a bit of work to do to consolidate your voice with your plot and make this marketable.

I do wish you luck, though, because it sounds great and I hope I get to read it one day! :D )

Eden said...

Thanks for the opportunity but I'm afraid I'll have to pass on representing this piece.

Best of luck with your writing.

~Eden

Katy said...

Thank you for your submission. The premise is intriguing, but I don't think I am the right agent for this project.
Best of luck,
Katy

Carrie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for considering My Agency for your next project. Please submit the first twenty pages at your earliest convenience.

Thank you,

Agent For a Day.

Pap said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in my agency. However, I will not be requesting any further materials from you at this time. Please note that submissions are a very subjective business and my comments are not a critique on your writing ability. I strongly encourage you to continue your search for an agent and wish you all the best.

Your sincerely,

Make-believe Agency

Renee Collins said...

Dear The Knockoffs,

Thanks for your query. Unfortunately, this story is not quite right for me.

Best of luck,

Renee

MK said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission. After careful consideration, I've decided this manuscript isn't for us at this time.

Good luck with your search.

Best,
Agent For a Day

Mystery Robin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I am not the right agent for this book. Best of luck!

Robin

Sage said...

Dear Knock-Offs,

With today's American Idol and other musical reality shows being so popular, I suspect this idea could be a winner. I'd love to see an example of your writing. Please send the first fifty pages via e-mail.

Thanks,
Sage

Nay said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.
I found aspects of your story very intriguing, however I am not convinced that it is the right project for me.
I’m sure your project will find a home somewhere.
Best of luck to you

-Nay

theflightytemptress said...

Dear The Knockoffs,

This sounds interesting. Please send me the first three chapters so I can get a taste of your writing.

Yours,

Kat Brauer

Vic K said...

Thank you for submitting to my agency, however I am not able to offer representation at this time.

Regards,
Vic K.

Reason; This is a personal taste call. I'm realising more and more why agents say they won't represent work they don't feel passionate about. It's not that there is anything wrong with the premise... it just didn't grab me.

Annie said...

I'd pass.

Reason: although it sounds like an intrigueing story, I'm afraid the idea that someone would audition to put together a children's band together doesn't wash with me. How old are these children? Why would any TV station allow this?

Sol said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I am unable to request a partial at this time.

I wish you the best in your search for an agent.

Kind regards,

Sol Nima

Selene said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for contacting Selene Literary. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that this project is not right for us at this time.

While your query is strong and has an interesting premise, I did not fall in love with the concept of the novel.

Best of luck in finding an agent that is as enthusiastic about this book as it deserves.

Best regards,
Selene Da Agent
Selene Literary

Jessumby said...

Dear Author

Thank you for sending me your query. I regret to inform you that it does not suit the needs of my list at this time.

Regards, Jessumby

Poppy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I am afraid that your work is not right for me at this time, however I would urge you to continue to submit to other agents: this is a subjective business.

Agent

Poppy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I am afraid that your work is not right for me at this time, however I would urge you to continue to submit to other agents: this is a subjective business.

Agent

Janny said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me with THE KNOCK-OFFS. But, while there are many intriguing elements in this query, I'm not seeing a truly unique approach or fresh twist to a story that's been done in various ways before. Therefore, I'm going to pass on this book.

However, keep in mind that this is a very subjective business--and what doesn't "grab" me might well be just the thing someone else is looking for. I wish you luck placing this elsewhere!

Sincerely,
Janny

thin said...

Dear Author,
While it seems like an interesting premise for a book, I'm sorry to say that I cannot take on the project. Thank you for considering me, and best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
Thin

kdrausin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I would like to request an exclusive reading of your manuscript.

Thank you,

KDrausin (The teacher in me screams marketability and your query is concise.)

RW said...

Dear Author:

This project sounds promising, and I’m interesting in learning more about it. At your earliest convenience will you please forward to me by email 20-30 sample pages (rounding off to the nearest chapter break)? Please put “Requested material” in the subject line, and I’ll read it and get back to you as soon as my schedule allows. Thank you for your query, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours truly,

RW

Kats said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query. I'm intrigued by the premise of The Knock-Offs and would like to read more. Please send the first three chapters to me at your earliest convenience.

Best,
Agent for the Day, Kats

Deniz Bevan said...

Thank you for your query, but I wouldn't be the right agent in this instance.
I wish you luck finding the right home for your work.
Sincerely,
Ms Agent Agency

Sun Up said...

Very well written and intriguing, but it's not what I personally am looking for. However, I have no doubt that you will find representation for this.

Thanks so much and good luck to you.

Alicia

Jabez said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not believe I am the best agent to represent your manuscript. Best of luck in your quest for publication.

Leslie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for this query. I believe this would be classified as Young Adult fiction instead of as a novel.
Unfortunately, that is not a genre I have experience with. Best of luck with your publishing endeavors.

Sincerely, Leslie

Dale - Las Vegas said...

Thank you for your submission but it doesn't seem right for me at this time.

Good luck in the future.

Janeal C. Falor said...

Thank you for the opportunity to look at you work. Unfortunately, I don't feel this is the right project for me.

Sherry Ficklin said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for thinking of me, but I'm going to have to pass. Best of luck finding another agent!

Sincerely, Agent Faux

Lipstick Lizzie said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for the chance to look at your work. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m the right agent for this project.

Best of luck,
Lizzie

Tree said...

Dear Author:
I want to thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. Unfortunately, I did not connect well enough with your project to pursue it further. As I'm sure you know, agenting is a very subjective business. Although your project didn't fit with my particular list, another agent may respond very differently.
Please accept my best wishes for success in your writing career and finding the perfect advocate for your work.
Sincerely,
Tree

educlaytion said...

Please send the entire manuscript. Thanks.

L.C. Gant said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I'm afraid your story isn't right for me. Take heart--there are agents out there who might feel otherwise! Good luck on your continued search for representation.

Best wishes,

L.C. Gant (Agent for a Day)

Fawn Neun said...

Thank you for sending in your query for consideration. Please feel free to forward a synopsis and five sample chapters of your manuscript in .rtf or .doc format to this email address.

I look forward to reading them.

Fawn

Laurie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I have decided to decline representing you for this manuscript.

I think you have a very compelling story line and you made it to the second round in my consideration, and the only reason I am declining is the mandatory limit of only accepting five manuscripts.

Best of luck to you! I'm sure you will find representation soon.

Laurie

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

While your query is a little terse, it's an interesting premise.

Please send me the first 50 pages.

Best,
Agent

Fairduncan said...

Dear Author

Thanks for querying us. I regret I have to pass on this one, but wish you every success in finding representation.

Cordially Yours,
Agent

Amethyst Greye Alexander said...

Dear Author,

I appreciate the fresh, open take on what is generally percieved as a jaded subject. I feel your work has a few minor kinks to be dealt with but shows promise, so I'm requesting the first fifty pages to be sent via email (pasted, not attatched).

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to review the manuscript.

Amethyst Adams

Wandering Spirit said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your synopsis of The Knock-Offs. The story has intrigued me and I wish to read more in order to explore its potential. Please can you send me the first 30 pages as an attachment for further consideration? Please assist me by including your original query with your response.

Best wishes

Agent for a Day

Note: The query was polite and brief, yet to the point. The synopsis felt compelling enough to require a further review of the manuscript. Although the story is not to my personal taste I feel that there is a market for that genre (plus potential for a movie).

Anonymous said...

Your story shows promise, unfortunately it isn't a good fit for me at the moment. Good luck!

Agent DC

Heather Harper said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. After careful consideration, I regret that I’m unable to request your manuscript at this time.

Best,
Agent for a day

Maryann Miller said...

So sorry, but this is not right for us. Good luck placing it elsewhere.

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 352   Newer› Newest»
Related Posts with Thumbnails