Nathan Bransford, Author


Monday, April 13, 2009

Be An Agent for a Day: Query #50

This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here

Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!



Dear Agent for a Day,

I have followed your blog for several months and appreciate that your posts are educational, with many dashes of humor and candid honesty. I have noted that you enjoy young adult fiction, and I hope to interest you in representing my novel.

Eighteen-year-old Kellen is a Crowmaker, lifted from a bleak existence and turned via magical experimentation into a hero--a law keeper for the expanding Tenvan colonies. When the Crowmakers' greatest weapons begin to fail and Kellen's best friend and fellow Crowmaker is killed as a result, Kellen sets out to bring to justice the man she holds responsible, the engineer whose flawed plans and rushed experiments caused the failure. What Kellen finds instead is a dead man, a town under siege from a sentient force of nature with links to her personal plight, and the need to save the life of her enemy's daughter in order to save her own.

CROWMAKER is a 76,000 word young adult fantasy novel which follows Kellen's journey through despair and the desire for revenge and along the path to becoming something greater than a made hero--her own person. It is a completed work and available upon your request.

I am also the author of several short stories which have appeared in THE LEADING EDGE (April 2003) and CRICKET MAGAZINE (Dec. 2005), as well as other publications.

Thank you for your time. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
Author

STATS: 13% request rate






332 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 332   Newer›   Newest»
Josephine Damian said...

form rejection.

Lucy A muse ision said...

Sorry.

Thanks.



Lucy A muse ision
fictitious agent

(Note: well it is true that the early bird gets the worm, isn't it? Probably pays to try to time the query with opportune timing whenever possible.)

Barb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.

All the best,
Barb

Agent X said...

Dear Author,

This is one of those letters I loathe to write as an agent, because you have a great hook.

Subjectively, however, the material in THE CROWMAKER is not something I feel I could zealously represent as it would deserve.

I have no doubt, however, that you will be snatched up quickly, and I truly do wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Agent X

hannah said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me.

Best,
hannah

Superfast said...

Thank you so much for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't feel I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Good luck and keep writing!

Monika said...

Thank you for your submission, but I do not think this project is right us. This is a subjective business and other agencies will feel differently. We wish you every success with your project.

Kitti said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I regret to inform you that I am going to have to pass on this, but please keep me in mind for your future projects.

Best of luck,
Kitti

wickerman said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I am intrigued by Crowmaker and would be interested in a partial. Please send me the first 50 pages and a cover letter.

Thank you,

The Wickerman

Nathan Bransford's Guinea Pig

suki said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me. I wish you luck in your search for representation.

Regards,
Suki


Reasoning: Just not hooked. Not enough detail to make this feel fresh IMO. Could also be end of a long day and the wow factor just isn't there. Good luck.

TheDivaAgent said...

Dear Author,

Every submission is important to us. Unfortunately, we are no longer accepting new clients. We wish you the best of luck in finding an agent to represent your work.

Yours,

The Diva Agent

sraasch said...

Dear Author,

Not for me, sorry!

Thanks!

AgentMan said...

We don't handle YA fiction. Best of luck.

AgentMan

Mr. Snark said...

Dear Author:

What's a Crowmaker? I would have liked a brief definition or to hear nothing at all about them.

Other than that, nothing about your query makes my feel especially snarky; it's just too similar to other works in the fantasy genre.

Pass.

Mr. Snark

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you, but this project is not for me.

Agent99

Comments: Not enough sense of character, voice.

Sasha said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Your premise sounds interesting and well-developed. Although I'm confident that your search for an agent will be fruitful, I don't think I'm the best person to represent your work.

Good luck and yours truly,
AftD

Robert A Meacham said...

Dear author,
Thank you for your query but I have to say no at this time. Good luck in finding representation.

Cassandra said...

Dear Author,

I'm afraid that at this time I am unable to offer representation for your novel. This is purely a business decision, and unfortunately means that I must turn away many talented individuals. I encourage you to continue querying agents you think might be interested.

I appreciate your interest in Agent for A Day, and wish you every success in your writing career.



Regards,
Cassandra

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Please send the manuscript via email. I enjoyed your voice throughout the query, and look forward to reading it.

Agent XXX

(Five, that's my limit)

**This was about as polished a query as you can get. I really liked the conflicts, and the query was to the point.

PPP said...

Dear Author,

I think if I knew more about these Crowmakers I might be hooked. The story does sound weird enough to be my kind of thing, but I just need a little more to go on.

Thanks anyway.

Signed,
PPP

Sooki Scott said...

Bingo! Send me a full. Sookie, likey.

Casey said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your query. Please e-mail the first 50 pages of your manuscript CROWMAKER to casey@agentforaday.com for further consideration.

Best,

Casey

Sooki Scott said...

Too bad Sooki can't spell her own name. Send me a full, anyway. Pretty please.

scj said...

Sorry, but I must pass. I didn't get a good feel for how this story differs from others in the same genre, and the description of the plot is a bit vague. Best of luck.

Chanelley said...

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not what I’m looking for at this time. However, do continue to query widely. After all, it does only take one agent to say yes!
All the best,
Agent for the day

Merry Monteleone said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Only Literary Agency Insane Enough To Trust Me With Queries. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pass.

Best of luck,

Merry

As a side note, the query was fine - it just didn't sound like a story I'd like personally. I'd say this would be a rejection because it didn't hit the right desk, not because there was anything wrong with the query.

word verification - readjabs - well, that about sums up query hell, doesn't it?

Bija Andrew Wright said...

Sorry, I'm not interested. Best of luck.

dhole said...

Dear Author, thanks for your query. Unfortunately, it's not right for my list, best of luck, etc.

Selestial said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I'm afraid I'm not passionate enough about your premise to request more at this time. Another agent may feel differently, and I wish you the best in your search.

Selestial


I had to keep re-reading the blurb. I'm not sure what it was exactly, but I couldn't see the connection between what happened and why she would have to save her enemy's daughter to save her own life. It was a jump of logic my brain just couldn't make at this point.

Madison said...

Dear Author,

Thank you so much for submitting your work and considering me to represent it. While the story sounds quite interesting, I am afraid it does not fit my list at this point in time and I must regretfully pass. I know rejections can be hard to take, but please keep submitting and following your dream.

Best of luck in your agent hunt!

Sincerely,

Madison

Reason for rejection: Did not leap off the page.

Heather said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but it's not for me.

Good luck!
Heather

Derek said...

Dear Author,

I have maxed out on manuscript requests for today, so I must pass on this one.

Agent For A Day.
Requested #10, #12, #17, #20, #39.

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I will have to pass at this time.

Best,

Meg Spencer

reader said...

I'm not the right agent for this type of fantasy.

Keep querying and best of luck to you.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your query. While fantasy does not always interest me, I think there is a market for stories like this one, so I'd like to see how you handle your premise. Please send me the first three chapters, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Best,
a new agent with an open mind

David said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but this project doesn't sound right for me.

Sincerely,
David

Sharon aka Sapphire said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, unfortunately I will have to pass on it. The story line is interesting, however the structure of your query letter made me think that your manuscript probably needs a bit more polishing.

Best wishes,
Sharon

jimnduncan said...

Thank you for querying me, but I'm afraid I'm passing on your story. Best of luck in your continued writing endeavors.

(reason: there's some decent possibilities here, but I don't get a very strong sense of the story from the query. I also wanted to know what a Crowmaker was within the query, not left as something to intrigue me to read more.)

Don said...

[form rejection]

jjdebenedictis said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent query; discovering new talent is one of the joys of being a literary agent, and I am always honoured to have the opportunity to read a writer's best work.

Please accept my regrets, however, as I won't be offering to represent this novel. I apologize for informing you of this using a form letter, but the volume of mail I receive makes it impractical for me to give personalized rejections.

I wish you the very best luck in finding a literary agent whose enthusiasm will bring your book the success it deserves!

Sincerely,
J. J. DeGoblin

~~~~~~~
For your reference, here are the most common reasons why I decline certain queries. Please note that if your submission was very good, my reasons for rejecting it were probably much subtler than the items on this list and cannot be put quickly into words. Again, I apologize for this form letter, but I cannot invest the time to critique those submissions I have chosen to not represent. Thank you for your understanding.


Most common reasons why I decline manuscripts:[ ]--The manuscript is in a genre which I don't represent

[ ]--The query appears to be a non-personalized mass mailing

[ ]--The query/manuscript's presentation was worryingly unpolished
(E.g. Many spelling, grammar, punctuation or homophone errors; a non-standard format)

[ ]--The writing doesn't seem polished enough
(This improves with practice; your next novel may be excellent)

[ X ]--The plot doesn't sound compelling enough
(Again, this improves with practice and self-education)

[ ]--The plot sounds too similar to something book-buyers have already seen


Comments, if any:You may have a very good story here, but your query is a bit vague about the plot and I worry your book might not be different enough from others on the market to be easily sold.

Agent KES said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I am not able to offer you representation at this time. Best of luck,

Agent KES

brian_ohio said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best,

Brian

Jenn Johansson said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for letting me review your query. Unfortunately, I don't think this is a good fit for me at this time.

Best of luck!
JJ

Mystery Robin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I am not the right agent for this book. Best of luck!

Robin

Endless Secrets said...

Dear Author,

thank you for your query, I regret to inform you that I cannot represent you.

-Lea

Gwen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest. Unfortunately, this project is not a good fit for me at the present time.

Regards,

Gwen

Dawn G. said...

Dear Author,

Unfortunately, I am unable to offer you representation at this time. Thank you for submitting your work for consideration. Please keep me in mind for future projects.

Kindest Regards,

D. Agent

Craven said...

Thank you for your consideration, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck, Craven

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

I have not read all of Nathan's rules, but I want to encourage you by saying that I might have passed as well BUT, I think it's simply a problem with the query. Your story is probably great - you just might need a more original approach to the actual query.

My favorite line in the query was "becoming something greater than a made hero - her own person."

Oh! And I would put your first paragraph, last. In other words, start with the story.

Good Luck!

Katie

Ello said...

I would love to see a full!!!

Other Lisa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately it's not what I'm looking for. Best of luck in your search for representation, and keep writing!

Sincerely,

Agent X

Colorado Writer said...

Dear Author,
Sorry, not for me.
Best of Luck,
Agent Name

Cindy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, however I will have to pass.

All the best,
Cindy

Jen C said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to the Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever. I regret that, at this time, your project is not quite what I’m looking for. I wish you the best of luck in your continuing search for representation.
Sincerely,
Jen C.

EJ Lange said...

Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not right for me at this time. Good luck in your search for representation.

Agent Erin


******
side note: I finally finished reading all the queries! Now I'm back to pick 5 requests out of the dozen I want to say yes to! (Nathan, this is one tough job)

Harsh Critic said...

The query seemed vague. I couldn't tell what this was really about.

Sorry, not for me.

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your book isn't right for me. Agenting is subjective, though, and I wish you the best of luck!

Sincerely,
Megan

K. Andrew Smith said...

Dear author,

Thank you for the submission, Crowmaker. Unfortunately, it is not quite right for me. I wish you good fortune in your search for an agent.


Sincerely,

K. Andrew Smith

bridge said...

Thank you for your query, unfortunately it's not right for me.
Best,
Bridge
On a personal note, this didn't convey the excitement that is probably in your book. I didn't get a sense of voice or character as it seemed like you were trying to fit in as much as possible into the query. It isn't necessary to give every detail or plot element, stick to the main one, make it exciting and shoot for the stars:)
Hope this helps
Bridge

Olga said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for sending the query for CROWMAKER. The plot and the main character sound promising. I would love to read first 30 pages of your manuscript. Please send them as a Microsoft Word attachment in a reply to this e-mail.

Sincerely,

Agent Olga.

Caroline said...

Dear Author:

Your premise is interesting, but we are not currently accepting new clients. Thank you for your submission.

Best of luck,

Agent Caroline

Anonymous said...

No thank you. Best of luck in your endeavors.

-Agent Pro Tempore

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit.

I regret to inform you that at this time I would like to pass on your book.

Best of luck in the future,

Regards,
Agent for a Day, Bookworm Megs

Christine Rose said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

Kristi said...

Thank you for your query. I don't feel this is right for me but I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,
Kristi

Beatriz Kim said...

Dear Crowmaker,

Thank you for your query. Your story sounds interesting and I would love to see a partial.

Please email the partial to me as soon as possible.

Sincerely,

BK

Rick Daley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Authors Write Literary Agency. I have reviewed your query for CROWMAKER, and I’m sorry to say that I do not feel that I am the best agent to represent your work at this time.

Please keep in mind that there are many talented agents out there, and opinions are subjective based on individual preferences, workload, and market climate.

Don’t be afraid to research other agents and query those that you feel are best suited to represent your work. Best of luck!

Regards,

Daley Agent for a Day

Disgruntled Bear said...

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately I am going to have to pass at this time.
I wish you the best of luck with another agent.

Sincerely,
Agent

quixotic said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, however, I do not feel excited enough about it to request anything further.

Good luck in your search for an agent.

Quixotic

StrugglingToMakeIt said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Best,

Agent

Onovello said...

Dear Author:

Many thanks for your query. Unfortunately, I am not the right agent for this project.

With all best wishes,
Onovello

ikmar said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. Sorry, but it is not for me.

Sincerely,
Agent for the Day

Leslie said...

Thank you for contacting us about your proposed fantasy novel. Unfortunately, we are not currently accepting manuscripts in this genre. We wish you all the best with your publishing endeavors.

Best regards, Leslie

Tara Ryan said...

Dear Author,
Thank you so much for submitting your work to me. Unfortunately, Crowmaker is not a good fit for me at this time. I wish you much luck in your writing endeavors.
Agent-for-a-day

Brigid said...

Form rejection

Jeanne Tomlin said...

Form rejection.

:)Ash said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your interest in my agency. Unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for you at this time. Best wishes as you continue your search.

Sincerely yours,

:)Ash

Author: What is a Crowmaker?

Bane of Anubis said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission, but it isn't right for me. Best of luck,

Bane

(reasoning: nothing wrong with this one in the least, but it just didn't spark my interest)

PurpleClover said...

Dear Author:

Please send me your full manuscript.

Regards,

PC

Okay that is my fifth. The one's I chose were: 1, 10, 17, 46, 50

Karen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you very much for your query. I am sorry to inform you that I don't think this is going to be a good fit for me.

I do believe your work has promise and think that you will find a good home with another agent.

Best of luck to you,

Karen

ai-hua said...

Dear Author,

I'm intrigued enough to give this one a go. Please send your full manuscript ASAP.

Best regards,
Ai Hua

DeadlyAccurate said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your query and I apologize for this form reply.

I regret I have to pass on many interesting projects due to time constraints. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.


Sincerely,

DeadlyAccurate

Megan said...

form rejection

morphine-moniza said...

aw I actually want to read this but I have to be very picky because only two requests left.

Here's why this query doesn't work for me. You don;t give enough details. Why was the protagonist's exiistence bleak? and why was she chosen? more specific details about the conflict would have too.

So:

Dear author,
I'm afraid I'm not the right agent to represent your manuscript. Thanks for querying.
Sincerely,
Moniza

bookshop said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent submission. While our agency is not the best fit for this particular project, other agents may feel differently. I wish you luck in your search for representation.


Regards,

Bookshop

Madhat said...

Dear Author:

Thanks, but no thanks.

-Agent

KC in SF said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid I will not be able to offer representation as I do not represent fantasy

I wish you the best of luck,

KC in SF

oshunanat said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for considering My Agency for your next project. Unfortunately, your manuscript does not fit within my needs at this time.


Thank you,

Agent For a Day.

Katy said...

Thank you for your submission. After much deliberation, I have decided to pass on your project, The Crowmaker. While the premise seems interesting, your writing is a little unclear and disjointed for me.
Best of luck,
Katy

MK said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission. After careful consideration, I've decided this manuscript isn't for us at this time.

Good luck with your search.

Best,
Agent For a Day

Renee Collins said...

Dear Crowmaker,

Thank you for your query, and thanks for reading my blog. Unfortunately, I don't feel that this story a right fit for me.

Best of luck,

Renee

Pap said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in my agency. However, I will not be requesting any further materials from you at this time. Please note that submissions are a very subjective business and my comments are not a critique on your writing ability. I strongly encourage you to continue your search for an agent and wish you all the best.

Your sincerely,

Make-believe Agency

Eden said...

Thanks for the opportunity but I'm afraid I'll have to pass on representing this piece.

Best of luck with your writing.

~Eden

Krista said...

Sorry, but form rejection.

I am curious about what a crowmaker is and would like that defined to get a sense of your world. I would also want a better sense of characters and what is at stake.

David de Beer said...

Dear Author,

thanks for your interest but unfortunately I am going to pass this time.

Sincerely,
David de Beer

Cat Hellisen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.  Your proposal is interesting, but I don't feel that the project is quite right for me. I wish you the best of luck in finding representation elsewhere.

Best,
Cat.

KathyF said...

Dear Author of Query #50,

Thanks for your query. I liked your storyline for CROWMAKER and would like to see the writing. Please send me a synopsis and the first three chapters.

KathyF

Adam Heine said...

It sounds like it might be interesting, but I still have no idea what a Crowmaker is. What do they fight against? What are their weapons and why do they fail?

I'm sorry, but this isn't right for me. Thank you for submitting and good luck.

CJK said...

Thank you for your query. I am not interested in further materials on this work. Good luck with your search for representation. CJK

Melinda said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but unfortunately this project isn't right for me. Best of luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,

Melinda

Sage said...

Dear Crowmaker,

I didn't get a good enough sense of the novel from your query, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to pass.

Thanks,
Sage

The Things We Carried said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I regret to inform you that I am not the right agent for your work.

Your query letter, though interesting, is a bit jumbled and hard to follow. You might consider revising it for future submissions.

Best wishes and keep writing!

Sincerely,

Agent

Brigita said...

Thank you for sending me your query. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation

Melissa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your manuscript, but I don't think I'm the right agent for it. Best of luck.

romoak said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. While aspects of this story are intriguing, this story is not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your continued efforts. Please keep in mind that other agents are different.

-- If I had another request left, this probably would have made the list.

Thomas said...

Form rejection.

Tally

Annie said...

I'd look at pages.

Reason: I can see hints of an interesting plot.

Selene said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for contacting Selene Literary. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that this project is not right for us. We wish you the best of luck in finding an agent that is as enthusiastic about this book as it deserves.

Best regards,
Selene Da Agent
Selene Literary

austere said...

Dear Author

Regrets.

Good luck with your writing.

Regards,

Nay said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query.
I found aspects of your story very intriguing, however I am not convinced that it is the right project for me.
I’m sure your project will find a home somewhere.
Best of luck to you

-Nay

Jeni said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I sincerely appreciate the opportunity to review your proposal, and found the premise for your manuscript intriguing. However, I’m afraid that the manuscript does not meet my needs at this time. Please do continue to send your work to other agents, as someone else may feel differently.
Best of luck in your publishing endeavors,
Jeni

Nixy Valentine said...

Dear Author:

I'm very sorry, but I don't think I'm the right agent for your project.

Notes: Although I found the concept intriguing, the structure of the hook made it difficult to understand, and I was concerned the entire book would have the same feel.

For example, the first sentence is really two sentences and two different concepts (who the protag is and how he got to be what he is) but you've inserted one idea inside the other and therefore made both difficult to puzzle out.

It's very possibly an excellent book, but with so many good queries today, it can't make my top 5 for the game.

Sol said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately this is a genre which I don't typically represent.

I wish you the best in your search for an agent.

Kind regards,

Sol Nima

Julie Weathers said...

Dear Author,

There were interesting points in your submission, but I’m afraid I can’t offer representation. This is a subjective business, and what appeals to one reader doesn’t always appeal to another. With my current workload, I have to be very discriminating and take on only projects I am passionate about.

I urge you to continue your quest to be published and wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

J.M. Agent

Jessumby said...

Dear Author

Thank you for sending me your query. I regret to inform you that it does not suit the needs of my list at this time.

Regards, Jessumby

Chris Eldin said...

The query reads formulaic, but I'm still intrigued by the premise. I'd request a partial.

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I'm afraid I am not the right agent to represent your story.

Sincerely,
Amy

Sandy said...

I'd be interested in reading your book. Please send me the full manuscript as a Word attachment.

Best,

Agent for a Day

thin said...

o
Dear Author,
While it seems like an interesting premise for a book, I'm sorry to say that I cannot take on the project. Thank you for considering me, and best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
Thin

theflightytemptress said...

Dear Crowmaker,

Thank you for your submission, but unfortunately it’s not for me. Publishing is a very subjective business, though, and another agent may feel differently. Best of luck in your continued search.

After she discovers the engineer is dead, the query gets confusing. And the theme is a bit cliche--work with it to make it stand out more.

Yours,

Kat Brauer

RW said...

Dear Author:

Thank you very much for your query. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to consider your work for representation. As you know, it’s a competitive market these days, and I don’t believe I have the right relationships to sell this project successfully. I do wish you luck in finding an agent and thank you for considering me.

Yours truly,

RW

Keri Ford said...

Thank you for submitting, but unfortunately I didn’t connect with this story idea.

Good Luck,
Keri

<><><><><><>

It just didn't grab me.

Polenth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. As your story didn't resonate with me, I'm going to have to pass.

--
Polenth

Sacre Bleu said...

Dear Author --

I am intrigued by your idea. Please email the full manuscript to me.

Thank you.

S. Bleu

Poppy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I am afraid that your work is not right for me at this time, however I would urge you to continue to submit to other agents: this is a subjective business.

Agent

Dale - Las Vegas said...

Thank you for your submission but it doesn't seem right for me at this time.

Good luck in the future.

Moth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query to Moth's Literary Agency. While your story sounds interesting, I'm afraid it's just not right for us. Best of luck in your writing career.

Sincerely,
Moth

kdrausin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I was intrigued by your query however at this time my client list is full.

I wish you luck on your writing journey.

Sincerely,

KDrausin (Thumbs up!)

lesleylsmith said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter.
Your premise is interesting.
Please email me the first 3 chapters of your novel.
Thanks,
-Lesley

Deniz Bevan said...

Thank you for your query, but I wouldn't be the right agent in this instance.
I wish you luck finding the right home for your work.
Sincerely,
Ms Agent Agency

Anonymous said...

Dear Author:

Thanks for querying me with THE CROWMAKER. Unfortunately this project is not right for me. Best wishes in your search for representation.

Regards,

Ulysses said...

Thanks for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I don't feel I am the agent to represent this work.

Lisa R said...

Dear Crowmaker:

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately your book is not right for me. Another agent may feel differently. Best of luck,

Lisa R

Beth said...

Dear Author,

I enjoyed reading your query. Please send the first three chapters of your novel to the address below.

Sincerely,
Agent

Jabez said...

Thank you for your query. I am interested in seeing some of your manuscript. Please email me the first 30-40 pages.

macaronipants said...

I'll pass on this one.

Agent

(ps - if I could have chosen ten instead of five, yours would have been one of them. BUT, I'd get rid of that first graph and start with the story. Also, expand on the details a bit (if you can give a sentence about the word Crowmaker, that might show some voice. What is the Crowmaker's greatest weapon? Flawed plans and rushed experiments to what end? You say "Kellen finds a dead man, a town under siege", but I thought she was already in that town? Clarify. Most important, WHAT IS HER PERSONAL PLIGHT? It sounds like an amazing story, but I don't know enough yet about kellen to make me care. Make me care and you've got a request.)

Sherry Ficklin said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for thnkig of me, but I'm going to have to pass. Best of luck finding another agent!

Sincerely, Agent Faux

John said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for giving me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, it's not something I think I can sell at present. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.

educlaytion said...

I considered this one down to the final ten or so. Sorry, but I have to pass.

Dara said...

Dear Crowmaker,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not think I am the right person for this book. I wish you success in your search for representation.

Best,

Dara

Specifics: Excellent query, I just wasn't hooked enough with the story. It could just be personal taste here.

Soratian said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query but I'm afraid this will be a pass for me.

While I get a sense of some steampunk elements here, which might be interesting, they're fairly vague and you'd really need to flesh them out here to distinguish how different your story is from other fantasy novels. The central conflict at stake is also not really compelling for me, so you may need to work on this.

I wish you the best in your search for an agent.

Regards,
Soratian

Sarah Laurenson said...

Form rejection.


I still have one acceptance left and this is tempting, but so were several others. Have to pass.

JuJu said...

Dear Author,

Your novel and query are both: well written, formatted and well thought out. If you are interested, I would like to have a partial of your manuscript to read, revise, and consider taking on as a full-fledged project.

Best wishes,
JuJu

JuJu said...

(Ha! I knew I was saving my last free slot for a good reason!)

JuJu said...

Dear Author,

Though your project shows some promise and sounds interesting, unfortunately it is just not the right one for me. Please keep in mind that appeal as a novel is entirely subjective – so keep at it!

Sincerely,
JuJu

JuJu said...

Oh my God, so sorry - previous message was for query #49!

I would not make a good agent.

cttiger said...

Dear Author
Thank you for giving me the chance to read sample materials from CROWMAKER. While I liked your concept and voice, I'm afraid I didn't find quite enough energy in the pacing. For that reason, I'll have to pass, but I wish you all success with this project.

Fairduncan said...

Dear Author

Thanks for querying us. I regret I have to pass on this one, but wish you every success in finding representation.

Cordially Yours,
Agent

Savannah Pens said...

Dear Author: Thank you for your query regarding Crowmaker. While the concept shows promise, the work is not right for my agency. Best wishes. Savannah Pens Agent

lucy in the sky said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not believe I am the best person to represent your work.

Diana said...

Your query sounded interesting, but I couldn't quite follow the plot. What exactly is a crowmaker, and what are the character's motivations? Would love to get more details on the character and the world.

Tree said...

Dear Author:
I want to thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. Unfortunately, I did not connect well enough with your project to pursue it further. As I'm sure you know, agenting is a very subjective business. Although your project didn't fit with my particular list, another agent may respond very differently.
Please accept my best wishes for success in your writing career and finding the perfect advocate for your work.
Sincerely,
Tree

Sun Up said...

Not currently representing this genre. Best of luck to you.

Alicia

Janeal C. Falor said...

Thank you for the opportunity to look at you work. Unfortunately, I don't feel this is the right project for me.

Laurie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I have decided to decline representing you for this manuscript.

I think you have a very compelling story line and you made it to the second round in my consideration. The only reason I am declining is the mandatory limit of only accepting five manuscripts.

Best of luck to you! I'm sure you will find representation soon.

Laurie

Sophie W. said...

Dear Author of Crowmaker,

Although your work shows merit, I cannot request further materials at this time. Keep in mind that this business is terribly subjective, and you'll probably get the chance to thumb your nose at me in the future.

Love,

Sophie

Venus Vaughn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, your project doesn't meet my needs at this time.
Best of luck to you in your writing career.

~Venus Vaughn

Meggrs said...

Form rejection--too much going on in the query, not enough sense of personality or actual story.

Heather Harper said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. After careful consideration, I regret that I’m unable to request your manuscript at this time.

Best,
Agent for a day

Lipstick Lizzie said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for the chance to look at your work. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m the right agent for this project.

Best of luck,
Lizzie

KareFree Kennels said...

Not for me.

Bertha Lavelle said...

I'm sorry, this one isn't for me,

Larry Writer said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.

Unfortunately your storyline does not seem to have that little extra that is needed to make it stand out among other Fantasy books.

Another agent may very well see it differently.

Kind regards,

Larry

Kats said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query. Unfortunately, Crowmaker is not the right fit for me and I will have to pass.

Best,
Agent for a Day, Kats

Amethyst Greye Alexander said...

Dear Author,

I've reviewed your query but am afraid your project isn't a good fit with the works I represent. I hope you won't let this discourage you, however, as every agent has different tastes and you're sure to find representation that will better suit your needs.

Thank you for considering me.
Amethyst Adams

Anonymous said...

Form Rejection.

Agent DC

Wandering Spirit said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Unfortunately your book is not of a genre that I am best suited to represent. However, all writing is of value and I wish you the best in your endeavours.

Best wishes

Agent for a Day

Note: I didn’t feel the story stood out enough from other similar books, sorry.

Lupina said...

Thank you but it's not for me at this time.

Gregory said...

Dear Author;

Form rejection.

Cordially,

Agent Gregory

[Other comments apropos. Queryshark rants about long, unbroken paragraphs. I agree. Break it up. White space! Having said that, this query is better than most. Keep writing!]

PT Hammonds said...

Dear Author:

Sorry, but I have to pass.

Sara Cox Landolt said...

Dear Author,
I received and read your query. I'm going to pass.
Best to you,
Agent SCl

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

I'm very curious about the "sentient force of nature." And also what the heck is a "crowmaker"?

Please send the first three chapters.

- AI

Patti K. said...

Thank you for your submission but I do not believe that it is right for me at this time. Good luck on your quest for the perfect agent.

Patti K.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, not right for me.

Marie

Jean said...

I think there might be some possibilities here. How good are you at introducing your world to a new reader? It's time to show me. Please send the first 50 pages and a 6 page synopsis.

Jean

Barbara Webb said...

Dear Author,

CROWMAKER intrigues me and I would like to see more. Please send along the manuscript.

Thanks!

Barbara

The Writers Canvas said...

Thanks for your submission. At the present time, it doesn't fit our list. I wish you the best with another agent who might be a better fit.

Elaine

Katy said...

Reject

S.P. said...

Thanks for thinking of us, but at this time I don't think I could sell it.

Sincerely,

me

Lucy said...

Dear Crowmaker: I'd like very much to read the first fifty pages of your novel. Please send them to me along with a copy of your query letter and a SASE with sufficient postage if you'd like your work returned. Regards, L.C.

cwsherwoodedits said...

Thanks for your query. I'm going to have to pass.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Maricar said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. However, your work does not fit our needs at this time. Best of luck.

Raven56 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying "Agent for a Day" Agency. Unfortunately, we do not feel this story is a good fit for our list at this time. We encourage you to continue querying other agents.

Best of luck,

Raven56

Just_Me said...

Dear Author.
Thank you for your query, at this time we are not representing this genre. We wish you the best of luck placing it with another agency.

Sincerely,
Agent


Note: Two reasons: I saw some awkward phrasing in the query and there was nothing that made this jump out at me as something different than anything on the shelf. I've got to sell this to an editor! How can I convince them this is different than every other YA fantasy?

KareFree Kennels said...

Crowmaker.


Sorry, not for me.

Best of luck,
Sheryl

Annalee said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your manuscript. I'm afraid it isn't right for me.

Regards,
-Annalee

-----------
Reason: Didn't grab me. Another that feels vague in the wrong places. Details aren't enough--they must be significant details.

whew, that's all the flat form rejections--now back to my maybe pile.

Horserider said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for allowing us to consider your work. I’m sorry to say that this is not something we are interested in at this time. We receive hundreds of submissions every week and, unfortunately, cannot take them all on. This is a very subjective business and I wish you luck on your journey to publication.

Sincerely,

Horserider Literary Agency

Audrey E said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for query. I'm afraid that this piece isn't right for me and I will have to pass at this time.

Yours,
Audrey

(My requests for the day were #'s 9, 17, 19, 36, and 48.)

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for thinking of me as a possible representative for your novel.

While your query held my interest, I’m sorry to say I’m not enthusiastic enough about the novel’s premise to request additional materials.

Best of luck in finding the right home for your novel.

Agent Du Jour

TFree said...

Thank you for considering me. Unfortunately, this piece isn’t right for me at this time. Good luck with this and future endeavors.

TF

Newbee said...

Form Rejection...

super agent nicole said...

Dear author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit a query. Unfortunately, I am unable to offer representation at this time.

Thank you,
Nicole

sKim said...

Thank you for sending this original proposal. We regret that it doesn't suit our needs at the moment. Best of luck to you.

Taymalin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this story is not for me at this time. Best of luck with your future endeavors,

Taymalin

The Classic Carol said...

Dear Author of CROWMAKER:
Thanks for your query. It is our top priority to select what best matches our agency. We wish you success as you pursue an agent better suited to your work.

Rachel said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. THE CROWMAKER sounds intriguing. Please send me the first three chapters.

Sincerely,

Rachel

SGF said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I read it but unfortunately have to pass on it.
I wish you the best of luck in finding representation.
Regards,
SGF

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for letting me consider your project. Unfortunately, it is not quite right for my list. I must therefore step aside and encourage you to submit elsewhere.

Best,
Agent

PS - The set-up worked for me, but by the end there was a lot of stage business, but no sense of how the conflict might play out.

Jeannie said...

Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately your project is not what we’re looking to represent at this time. Best of luck.
- Jeannie

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