Nathan Bransford, Author


Monday, April 13, 2009

Be An Agent for a Day: Query #48

This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here

Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!



Agent for a Day,

I would like to present P.O.V., a 97,000 word thriller.

Audra doesn't see the world like other people; she prefers to view it through the one by two inch square of her camera's view-finder. At an estate sale, Audra finds a rare old camera and a box full of photos of the man who owned it. There's one photo for every year of his life arranged like a travel journal, only the wheelchair bound invalid never left his home. Fixated on the mystery behind the journal, she has the camera repaired, and following the previous owner's instructions, she takes a picture of herself and sends it off to Nepal - a place she always wanted to see. A week later, her dreams are full of Mt. Everest and brightly colored prayer chains strung above a rustic village.

No matter where she sends herself, she sees through the eyes on film. Places she's never been. People she doesn't know. Rooms she's never occupied. When she starts a webpage to chronicle her virtual travels, Audra discovers that she can see through open windows on computer screens and off printed pages. It's funny when she catches the professor she always hated in a compromising situation, but terrifying when her dreams fill with images of a murder she's forced to watch and can't stop. Audra can't even seek help from the Police without sounding insane.

When her tormentor realizes what's happening, he makes Audra his ultimate victim. Once he finds her, it's easy to find her friends. Now he's got a captive audience that must observe powerless and mute while he carries out his twisted machinations.

I can send sample chapters or a full manuscript upon request. Thank you for your time, I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
Author

STATS: 27% request rate






331 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 331   Newer›   Newest»
Josephine Damian said...

form rejection.

AgentMan said...

form rejection

lesleylsmith said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter.
Your premise is interesting.
Please email me the first 3 chapters of your novel.
Thanks,
-Lesley

Lucy A muse ision said...

Dear Author,
I have maxed out on manuscripts for today:

10,12, 36, 29, and 42

(and to clarify, just asked for a 5 page writing sample from no. 1 before passing)
But please do resubmit in the future if you don't find an agent. Sounds like something I would otherwise like to take a good long look at.

Thanks.



Lucy A muse ision
fictitious agent

Casey said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your time and consideration. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent P.O.V.

Best wishes,

Casey

***

An interesting premise, certainly. I think your query could use some work. Mention of her tormentor and the murder seems to come too late, in my opinion.

Vicky said...

Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately, this project is not right for us. Best of luck finding representation for your work.

All best.

hannah said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me. I'm interested in the premise, but I had too much trouble following the main plotline of your story. Best of luck elsewhere!

hannah

Barb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.

All the best,
Barb

Mr. Snark said...

Dear Author:

Seems cheesy to me. Pass.

Regards,

Ms. Snark

suki said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me. I wish you luck in your search for representation.

Regards,
Suki


Reasoning: Interesting initial premise, and I was considering it until the website and seeing through more than the pictures she mails, came into play. That stretched my suspension of disbelief too far. But others may feel differently. Good luck.

Superfast said...

Thank you so much for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't feel I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Good luck and keep writing!

Agent X said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to query. I'm afraid this isn't the right piece for me. I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Agent X

Chanelley said...

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not what I’m looking for at this time. However, do continue to query widely. After all, it does only take one agent to say yes!
All the best,
Agent for the day

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

I'm going to pass on this, but the premise did sound like it had potential. I'd like you to re-query me when the last part is edited.

Agent XXX

** I was really excited with the first paragragh, then the query lost me by meandering. I'd like to know more about the camera and why the girl was chosen, as it were.
And like someone else stated, the tormentor appeared rather late. Maybe she gets a picture with herself and the tormentor in the background, and his image keeps getting closer to her as she views the photos in succession.

sraasch said...

Dear Author,

Not my genre. Sorry!

Thanks!

Kitti said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I am intrigued - would you please send me a Word document of the first fifty pages of P.O.V.?

Cheers,
Kitti

Selestial said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. While I found the premise intriguing, I'm going to have to pass. Another agent may feel differently, and I wish you the best of luck.

Selestial



The set up was interesting, but I failed to see the connection between her seeing things through the eyes of people where she sent her photos and seeing through people's computer screens.

dhole said...

Dear Author, thanks for your query. Unfortunately, it's not right for my list, best of luck, etc.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I’ll pass on this one. Good luck in your endeavors.

Regards,

Lindsey S.

reader said...

I'll have to pass. Best of luck.


++++

As others have stated, at first I was really into this. Then it seemed to go downhill. Too much to focus on and I wasn't sure what was important -- cameras and dreams, but what does that have to do with being able to see into computer screens? It was also unclear who or how her tormentor was controlling her? Through the computer screen?

Bija Andrew Wright said...

Thanks for writing. I'd like to see this manuscript before making a decision on it. Please forward it at your earliest convenience.

[In the last 47 queries, I only requested 2, so this writer may have lucked into me feeling a little generous. I might not have requested it if it were in the first few, but that's the luck of the draw.]

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I'm afraid this project does not currently fit our needs.

Agent99

Comments: I was tempted. The camera premise is interesting. But it got a little complicated with the computer angle and the sudden arrival of a tormentor.

wickerman said...

Dear Author,

POV sounds like my kind of thriller. Please send me the first 50 pages with a cover letter. Make sure you address it to me and not that manuscript thief Nathan.


Yours,

The Wickerman

Senior Music Buff, Bransford Lit

Cassandra said...

Dear Author,

I was most intrigued by your novel P.O.V. and as such, I am pleased to offer you representation for it. Please send the completed manuscript in the form of a word document as soon as possible to my personal email [redacted] with the subject “P.O.V. Request”

I look forward to receiving your manuscript and beginning our author/agent partnership.

Regards,
Cassandra

Madison said...

Dear Author,

Thank you so much for submitting your work and considering me to represent it. While the story sounds quite interesting, I am afraid it does not fit my list at this point in time and I must regretfully pass. I know rejections can be hard to take, but please keep submitting and following your dream.

Best of luck in your agent hunt!

Sincerely,

Madison

Reason for rejection: Started out great but I can't see where the evil dude is coming in. This is confusing to me.

Heather said...

So, I've maxed out on my requests today, but I would request this in a heartbeat.

Well done!

And good luck. I hope you find rep. soon.

Merry Monteleone said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Only Literary Agency Insane Enough To Trust Me With Queries. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pass.

Best of luck,

Merry

scj said...

Sorry, but this isn't right for me. I am intrigued by the idea but the description wasn't clear enough for me to know how the plot works. If you had enclosed sample pages, I would have read them and possibly requested more, depending on the writing. Best of luck!

Cindy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query for P.O.V. I would like to see additional material. Please send the first 50 pages by e-mail.

Thanks,
Cindy

Derek said...

Dear Author,

I have maxed out on manuscript requests for today, so I must pass on this one.

Agent For A Day.

sally apokedak said...

wow! I love this premise.

I have already asked for five. But if I could, I would ask for this one, for sure.

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I will have to pass at this time.

Best,

Meg Spencer

spinney said...

Please forward the first fifty pages. Thanks so much for your interest.

AgentGirl

jjdebenedictis said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent query; discovering new talent is one of the joys of being a literary agent, and I am always honoured to have the opportunity to read a writer's best work.

Please accept my regrets, however, as I won't be offering to represent this novel. I apologize for informing you of this using a form letter, but the volume of mail I receive makes it impractical for me to give personalized rejections.

I wish you the very best luck in finding a literary agent whose enthusiasm will bring your book the success it deserves!

Sincerely,
J. J. DeGoblin

~~~~~~~
For your reference, here are the most common reasons why I decline certain queries. Please note that if your submission was very good, my reasons for rejecting it were probably much subtler than the items on this list and cannot be put quickly into words. Again, I apologize for this form letter, but I cannot invest the time to critique those submissions I have chosen to not represent. Thank you for your understanding.


Most common reasons why I decline manuscripts:[ ]--The manuscript is in a genre which I don't represent

[ ]--The query appears to be a non-personalized mass mailing

[ ]--The query/manuscript's presentation was worryingly unpolished
(E.g. Many spelling, grammar, punctuation or homophone errors; a non-standard format)

[ ]--The writing doesn't seem polished enough
(This improves with practice; your next novel may be excellent)

[ ]--The plot doesn't sound compelling enough
(Again, this improves with practice and self-education)

[ ]--The plot sounds too similar to something book-buyers have already seen


Comments, if any:This is an extremely inventive premise! I'm a fan of speculative fiction, so I really liked it. However, the thriller aspects of the novel seem almost glued on, and it isn't clear to me how the murderer could learn of your protagonist's voyeurism. It seems like this premise would work better as a light-hearted fantasy story.

Heather said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
David said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but this doesn't sound right for me.

Sincerely,
David

jimnduncan said...

Please send me the first 30 pages of your story as an attached word document. Include the original query in your email and put "requested material" in the subject header. I look forward to reading your material.

(reason: intriguing premise. It could easily be just like a lot of thrillers out there, but it could be wonderfully creepy if done well. I'd take a chance on reading some of this.)

brian_ohio said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best,

Brian

Agent KES said...

Dear Author,

Please send the first 50 pages of your manuscript. I look forward to reading more.

Sincerely,
Agent KES

Endless Secrets said...

Dear Author,

the premise of your novel is very intriguing and unique, but im afraid it is simply not something I can represent.

-lea

Jenn Johansson said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for letting me review your query. Unfortunately, I don't think this is a good fit for me at this time.

Best of luck!
JJ

Mystery Robin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I am not the right agent for this book. Best of luck!

Robin

Dawn G. said...

Dear Author,

Unfortunately, I am unable to offer you representation at this time. Thank you for submitting your work for consideration. Please keep me in mind for future projects.

Kindest Regards,

D. Agent

Laurie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. While your premise is intriguing, I have to pass on your manuscript at this time.

This was a hard one for me to pass up. I was intrigued at first, but then I had a hard time following the plot line and where the story was going. A few sample pages might have tipped the scale to a yes.

Keep up the good work and consider submitting again in the future.

Best of luck to you,
Laurie

Other Lisa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately it's not what I'm looking for. Best of luck in your search for representation, and keep writing!

Sincerely,

Agent X

Katie said...

Dear Author,

I actually think you might have given too much information in your query. Perhaps you could simplify it. It borders on confusing.

I think the idea is very compelling and interesting but I got a little distracted by all of the information.

- maybe focus on a one to two sentence hook, or a short paragraph that teases the agent into wanting to see more - and then he can discover the rest of the story for himself...

Colorado Writer said...

Sorry, but I am not the right agent for your work.
Best,
Agent Name

Jen C said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query for P.O.V to the Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever. I enjoyed reading your query and I would like to request that you send your full manuscript to me so that I can peruse your work further.

Sincerely,
Jen C.

Ello said...

Dear Author,

I would love to see the full!

EJ Lange said...

Author,

Thank you for your query. I find your premise interesting, but I don't think I'd be the best person to represent your work. I do hope you find the right agent, because I'd like to know the story behind that camera someday!

Agent Erin

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your book isn't right for me. Agenting is subjective, though, and I wish you the best of luck!

Sincerely,
Megan

K. Andrew Smith said...

Dear author,

Thank you for the submission, P.O.V. Unfortunately, it is not quite right for me. I wish you good fortune in your search for an agent.


Sincerely,

K. Andrew Smith

Harsh Critic said...

The query letter seems awkward, taking so much time for the set-up and then rushing the important events of the book. I worry that the writing in the manuscript might be awkward also.

In addition, your description of a series of visions and dreams makes me worry that the novel will be episodic.

Sorry, not for me.

Laura said...

Dear Author,

I found your premise interesting. Please send the first 30 pages of your manuscript.

Thanks,

Agent Laura

bridge said...

Dear Author,
Thank you but I'm going to pass.
Best,
Bridge
On a personal note, this was a bit too words for me to get a sense of whether the protagonist is going to be likable or just strange. Why doesn't she relate to the world? This is a bit too wordy and could be more concise and compelling.
Hope this helps.
Bridge

ccallicotte4 said...

Thank you for sending me your query. I appreciate you considering me.

I reviewed your proposal and unfortunately am going to pass on representing it. Initially I was intrigued by your query, but then got a bit lost, even on the second read through. Please keep in mind that this is a subjective business, and another agent may feel differently. I encourage you to query widely.

Best of luck to you.

Caroline said...

Dear Author:

I do not currently represent this genre. Please seek representation elsewhere.

Sincerely,

Agent Caroline

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for thinking of me, your novel sounds interesting but it's not for me at this time.

Good luck with your search for an agent.

Kind regards,

amyandnick

(PS - I'm intrigued but not totally sold, I'd tighten this up a bit, the second paragraph seems too much like a repeat of the first, but it reminds me of that Robin Williams movie One Hour Photo. Good luck.)

Anonymous said...

No thank you. Best of luck in your endeavors.

-Agent Pro Tempore

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit.

I regret to inform you that at this time I would like to pass on your book.

Best of luck in the future,

Regards,
Agent for a Day, Bookworm Megs

Christine Rose said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

Craven said...

Thank you for your consideration, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck, Craven

Kristi said...

Thank you for your query. I don't feel this is right for me but I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,
Kristi

quixotic said...

Thank you for your submission. This query caught my eye. Please send me a 2 page synopsis of P.O.V., as well as the first three chapters of your manuscript (attached as a word document).

Sincerely,
Quixotic

Sheila said...

I'd read some pages of this one.

ai-hua said...

Very cool premise, but probably a little too much horror for me. Personalized rejection, possibly a recommendation to another agent.

Rick Daley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, I would like to read more. Please email me the first 50 pages of your manuscript at your earliest convenience. Word 97-2003 (.doc) or 2007 format (.docx) are acceptable.

I usually respond to partials within 2 weeks. If you do not hear from me in that time frame, feel free to follow up.

Regards,

Daley Agent for a Day

Disgruntled Bear said...

Dear Author,

I am intrigued. Please send me the first three chapters as a Word document or a PDF file; I would like to read more.

Sincerely,
Disgruntled Literary Agent

PurpleClover said...

Dear Author:

Unfortunately at this time I must pass. This isn't the right fit for me.

Regards,
PC

Reason: It is a thriller but it seemed like a slow beginning. I want the blurb to throw me in.

ikmar said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. Sorry, but it is not for me.

Sincerely,
Agent for the Day

StrugglingToMakeIt said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Best,

Agent

(I would have requested it if I had more yes votes. This would have probably been number six. With a stronger hook, it would have probably made my cut. It's still a good letter, though.)

Onovello said...

Dear Author:

Many thanks for your query. Unfortunately, I am not the right agent for this project.

With all best wishes,
Onovello

Tara Ryan said...

Dear Author,
Thank you so much for submitting your work to me. Unfortunately, POV is not a good fit for me at this time. I wish you much luck in your writing endeavors.
Agent-for-a-day

Leslie said...

Dear Author,

I am intrigued by this plot line. I would love to see an example of the first chapter. Please don't send all pages of the book since my time is limited.

Sincerely, Leslie

:)Ash said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your interest in my agency. Unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for you at this time. Best wishes as you continue your search.

Sincerely yours,

:)Ash

Author: For what it's worth, you had me until the last paragraph of the pitch. If you had stopped with the bit about not being able to go to the police, I would have requested pages.

Jeanne Tomlin said...

Form rejection

Cai said...

Dear Author,

I would like to see more of this. please send me the first 30-ish pages of your novel.

Thank you,

Agent for a day.

Brigid said...

Darn! This started off so strong!

Form rejection

Sharon aka Sapphire said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting a query letter for your manuscript P.O.V. I am rather intrigued by it and wish that you had included the first five pages as stipulated in my guidelines. Please resubmit your query via email with the first five pages of your manuscript pasted in the body of the letter.

Best wishes,
Sharon

PPP said...

Dear Author,

I'm totally creeped out. I suppose that was your intention, but I don't think this is the book for me.

Thanks anyway. I'm sure it's someone else's cup of arsenic-laced tea.

Signed,
PPP

Bane of Anubis said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission, but it isn't right for me. Best of luck,

Bane

(reasoning: interesting premise - but not enough specifics about conflict to pull me in further)

Karen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Your story sounds intriguing, but I am afraid I am going to have to pass at this time.

I wish you luck in finding an agent.

Karen

DeadlyAccurate said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your query and I apologize for this form reply.

I regret I have to pass on many interesting projects due to time constraints. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.


Sincerely,

DeadlyAccurate

M. K. Clarke said...

Hello, Author --

Your premise is interesting. I'm pre-published and am not sure if I'm allowed to ask for partials (Nathan, can prepublished writers critiqued others, oris this an exercise for writers in "listen only" mode?).

If so, Author, I'd love to see your first three chapters. Forward them to ...

Thanks!

Anonymous said...

wow seriously cool concept. I really want to read this. But am constrained by the fact that can only request two more manuscripts.

Here's what made me not request for this. You didn't give any explanations for why the camera works the way it does. I need to know dammit :)

So:

Dear author,
I'm afraid I'm not the right agent to represent your manuscript. Thanks for querying.
Sincerely,
Moniza

bookshop said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent submission. While your premise shows strength and originality, I am not sure the thriller genre is the best fit for the story you are trying to tell. I wish you luck in your search for representation. Should you choose to make revisions, please feel free to query me again at a later date.

Regards,

Bookshop

Carrie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for considering My Agency for your next project. Unfortunately, your manuscript does not fit within my needs at this time.


Thank you,

Agent For a Day.

Katy said...

Thank you for your submission. While the premise is engaging, I ultimately don't think this is the right project for me.
Best of luck,
Katy

Pap said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in my agency. However, I will not be requesting any further materials from you at this time. Please note that submissions are a very subjective business and my comments are not a critique on your writing ability. I strongly encourage you to continue your search for an agent and wish you all the best.

Your sincerely,

Make-believe Agency

Madhat said...

Dear Author,

I was confused by the plot of your book. Sorry, it's a "no" for me.

-Agent

Eden said...

Please send the first 5000 words of POV in an attached Word or Open Office document.

Sincerely,

Eden

MK said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission. After careful consideration, I've decided this manuscript isn't for us at this time.

Good luck with your search.

Best,
Agent For a Day

Renee Collins said...

Dear P.O.V.,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, this is not quite right for me.

Best of luck,

Renee

Cat Hellisen said...

Dear Author,

This sounded like a really intriguing concept, but the story just didn't grab me.

I wish you the best of luck in finding representation elsewhere.

Best,
Cat.

David de Beer said...

Dear Author,

I like this. Please send me a full synopsis and the first 3 chapters.
Thank you

David de Beer

KathyF said...

Dear Author of Query #48,

Thanks for your query. I found P.O.V. quite intriguing. Please send me a synopsis and the first three chapters at your earliest convenience.

KathyF

liznwyrk said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately your manuscript is not what I am looking for.

Best of luck to you,
Elizabeth D-R

Adam Heine said...

I'm having trouble following the logic of how the magic camera works. I was also thrown off by the fact that paragraphs 2 and 3 were all setup.

I'm sorry, but this isn't right for me. Thank you for submitting and good luck.

CJK said...

Thank you for your query. I am not interested in further materials on this work. Good luck with your search for representation. CJK

Sage said...

Dear POV,

I was fascinated by the original premise and had to take a second look at your query, but in the end, I felt your unique idea turned back to the mundane when the murder comes in. I am sure that another agent will feel differently, but I'm going to have to pass.

Thanks,
Sage

Thomas said...

Form rejection.

Sincerely,

Tally

Melinda said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Please send the first 50 pages attached in a Word doc.

Sincerely,

Melinda

romoak said...

Dear Author,

Your premise is very interesting, though I think your query could use a bit of polishing. Please send me a synopsis and your first 50 pages.

******

Requests: #6, #17, #27, #35, #48

Brigita said...

Thank you for sending me your query. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation

The Things We Carried said...

Dear Author,

I am pleased to inform you I am interested in representing your work.

Please send me the first three chapters.

Sincerely,

Agent

Melissa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your manuscript, but I don't think I'm the right agent for it. Best of luck.


Thoughts: This had me until the murder stuff. That seemed like a complete shift. If the query suggested danger from the beginning, I might have gone for it.

Annie said...

Please send first three chapters.

Reason: I like the voice, even though the query is a bit long and jumbled. This is the genre I like, and I feel there might be something interesting here.

Nay said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query.
I found aspects of your story very intriguing, however I am not convinced that it is the right project for me.
I’m sure your project will find a home somewhere.
Best of luck to you

-Nay

austere said...

Dear Author #48

Looks like an interesting story. The colors and prints have possibilities.

Send me the first three chapters so that I can take a call.

Regards

Jeni said...

Dear P.O.V.,
Thank you for your query. I sincerely appreciate the opportunity to review your proposal, and found the premise for your manuscript intriguing. However, I’m afraid that the manuscript does not meet my needs at this time. Please do continue to send your work to other agents, as someone else may feel differently.
Best of luck in your publishing endeavors,
Jeni

Nixy Valentine said...

Dear Author:

Yes, I like this. I would want to read more. Congrats, you made my top 5!

Notes: If you're still actually querying and not one of the "sold" authors, I would move up the thriller part and condense the camera explanation. While it's interesting, it gets to the action too slowly, IMO.

That being said, if I saw this book on the shelves, I would buy it, so that's why you made my top 5.

Sol said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I have spent some time considering your overview. Unfortunately at this time I am unable to request a partial.

Please continue to query agents, I wish you the best of luck in finding the right one.

Kind regards,

Sol Nima

Jessumby said...

Dear Author

Thank you for sending me your query. I regret to inform you that it does not suit the needs of my list at this time.

Regards, Jessumby

Selene said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for contacting Selene Literary. You have a strong query and a compelling idea, but while I liked the premise, I did not get enough sense of conflict to request sample pages. Best of luck in your future agent search.

Best regards,
Selene Da Agent
Selene Literary

Chris Eldin said...

The query is scattered. I don't have a sense of your story. Too much about the old man in the beginning, though he sounds like a minor character.

Form rejection.

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I found your query interesting, but in the end I only have one request left, and am going to have to pass on your work. Best of luck with your continued submissions.

Sincerely,
Amy

thin said...

o
Dear Author,
While it seems like an interesting premise for a book, I'm sorry to say that I cannot take on the project. Thank you for considering me, and best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
Thin

theflightytemptress said...

Dear POV,

SOLD! Please send me the complete manuscript as (.doc format) as an attachment.

:)

Yours,

Kat Brauer

Scott said...

Dear Author,

P.O.V. sounds pretty good to me, although the query is a little muddled. If you would, please send a short synopsis along with three chapters of your book.

Thanks and I look forward to reading it,

Scott

RW said...

Dear Author:

Thank you very much for your query. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to consider your work for representation. As you know, it’s a competitive market these days, and I don’t believe I have the right relationships to sell this project successfully. I do wish you luck in finding an agent and thank you for considering me.

Yours truly,

RW

kdrausin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I was intrigued by your query however at this time I am only interested in representing poetry.

I wish you luck on your writing journey.

Sincerely,

KDrausin (I was intrigued with the story until the end. My first thought was ...How Creative!)

Keri Ford said...

Thank you for submitting, but unfortunately I didn’t connect with this story idea.

Good Luck,
Keri

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You had me until the end of the 2nd paragraph. Your book seemed to have taken off in a completely different direction than I was thinking. You spent a lot of time on the camera and what it does to her, making that your story. And the killer is thrown in at the end. Trim some of the camera off and bring in the killer quicker. That's where your pitch/story starts off.

Polenth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. As your story didn't resonate with me, I'm going to have to pass.

--
Polenth

Anonymous said...

My hand passed your query back and forth between the yes and no pile because of the first part of your query. Then it seemed like you didn't know what to do with the ending. Is this not a good story teller or not a good query letter writer? So to test it, send me a 5 page synopsis which includes all chapter highlights. You have thirty days, after that-don't bother. (Do you see the additional test?)
Agent 51

Poppy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I am afraid that your work is not right for me at this time, however I would urge you to continue to submit to other agents: this is a subjective business.

Agent

Dale - Las Vegas said...

Thank you for your submission but it doesn't seem right for me at this time.

Good luck in the future.


It seems like an interesting premise but her writing doesn't keep my attention.
Shame as it could be marketable if written right.

Moth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query to Moth's Literary Agency. While your story sounds interesting, I'm afraid it's just not right for us. Best of luck in your writing career.

Sincerely,
Moth

Deniz Bevan said...

Thank you for your query, but I wouldn't be the right agent in this instance.
I wish you luck finding the right home for your work.
Sincerely,
Ms Agent Agency

Ulysses said...

Thanks for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I don't feel I am the agent to represent this work.

Lisa R said...

Dear P.O.V.:

Thank you for your query. Unfortnately your book is not right for me but another agent may feel differently. Best of luck,

Lisa R

EMC07 said...

Dear Author,
This sounds interesting, but I am unable to request more at this time. Please feel free to re-query me in the future if you have not found representation.

Sincerely,
emc

Maxed out my 5 Requests Limit...

Jabez said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not believe I am the best agent to represent your manuscript. Best of luck in your quest for publication.

Sherry Ficklin said...

Dear Author,
I'm intrigued by your story. Please send me the full manuscript at this time.

Sincerely,
Agent Faux

Beth said...

Dear Author,

I am very interested in P.O.V. Please send the first three chapters to the address below.

Sincerely,

Agent

John said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for an interesting query. I'm interested in seeing more. Please forward the first 30 pages as a Word document. Thanks.

Agent Foraday

educlaytion said...

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not for me. Good luck in the future.

Dara said...

Dear POV,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not think I am the right person for this book. I wish you success in your search for representation.

Best,

Dara

Specifics: Interesting premise to be sure, but the query needs work. It seems like the conflict comes too late in the query and I can't help but wonder if that's how it will be in the book.

Pinkie said...

Dear Author,

I think this idea has promise but your tone in the query didn't match my expectation of the urgency you seem to set up in the plot. I suspect the book may suffer deficiencies in plot and structure. If you disagree, please resend a revised query.

Thanks.
CPK

Soratian said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query, which I thought well-written, but I'm afraid I'll be passing on it as it's not the right fit for me. I wish you the best in your search for an agent.

Good luck!
Soratian

Sarah Laurenson said...

Form rejection.


Interesting hook but it's almost buried in this query. And the photo premise has logic issues that the query leaves open. Like how does she send it to Nepal? And how does this lead to seeing out of book pages and such?

JuJu said...

Dear Author,

Though your project shows some promise and sounds interesting, unfortunately it is just not the right one for me. Please keep in mind that appeal as a novel is entirely subjective – so keep at it!

Sincerely,
JuJu

Fairduncan said...

Dear Author

Thanks for querying us. I regret I have to pass on this one, but wish you every success in finding representation.

Cordially Yours,
Agent

lucy in the sky said...

I would like to read more, please send the first 30 pages.

Tree said...

Dear Author:
I want to thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. Unfortunately, I did not connect well enough with your project to pursue it further. As I'm sure you know, agenting is a very subjective business. Although your project didn't fit with my particular list, another agent may respond very differently.
Please accept my best wishes for success in your writing career and finding the perfect advocate for your work.
Sincerely,
Tree

Sun Up said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for the submission. I really love the premise, but I'm looking for something a bit more character based. Best of luck to you though!


Alicia

Janeal C. Falor said...

Thank you for the opportunity to look at you work. Unfortunately, I don't feel this is the right project for me.

Sophie W. said...

Dear Author,

I have a query for you: Can you send the full manuscript to sophie@imtotesanagent.com as a word doc attachment? Could you also include the original query in the body of the email and the word INCANDESCENT in your email title? Thanks so very much.

Love,

Sophie

Diana said...

I am very intrigued by your plot. But while you spend a lot of time describing Audra's peculiarity, her enemy, and the resulting conflict, is rather abrupt and can use more explanation. Nevertheless, would like to request the first five chapters. Would also like to learn more about your writing experience and background. Thanks!

Meggrs said...

Ack! Interesting premse (at first), then falls apart.

Form rejection.

Venus Vaughn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, your project doesn't meet my needs at this time.
Best of luck to you in your writing career.

~Venus Vaughn

Gregory said...

Dear Author;

Form rejection.

Cordially,

Agent Gregory

[Great initial premise. Well-written query. But, the killer angle... ho hum. Falls apart and breaks the photo consistency. I found myself wondering... what if? You go go a lot of directions with this book. Say you want to stay with the thriller genre. Okay... what if you stay with the camera? She sends a photo to Washington. To the Pentagon, with with an innocuous letter asking about tours. A secretary reads it. Sends her a nice letter. Tosses the photo in the trash, it misses the trash, lands unobtrusively next to her desk. That night, the custodian sees it. Picks it up. Likes it. She's attractive. Stuffs it in his pocket. Later, goes down to clean the Deputy Chief xxx's office. Talks to a buddy. They're cleaning. Friend asks for a smoke. Can't in here. "Well, gimme a cigarette. I'll use it on my break." Pulls out his pack, the picture slides out with it, winds up sliding, unseen, to the floor, beneath the Dpty Secty's desk. Next day, Audra has a photo of herself with the Depty Sec and... someone else. She doesn't know who. Has no idea it's deeply classified. Publishes on her travelogue website. Not much happens, for a while. Then a Pentagon aid happens to see it. Knows the Depty. "Shit! Has anybody seen this? XXX was here, meeting with the Depty, and this chick. Who's she?" They've got a problem. A real "oh shitter." Who's seen this photo? And how in the hell did SHE get it? The Dept Secty is panicked. Swears he's never seen her in his life. And suddenly, she's Jimmy Stewart in North by Northwest. Anyway, just a thought. Trying to keep it consistent with the camera theme.]

Maryann Miller said...

Dear Author, Thanks for thinking of this agency for you project. Unfortunately this is not something we can get enthused about.

KareFree Kennels said...

Sorry, not for me, but please keep on trying.

Lipstick Lizzie said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for the chance to look at your work. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m the right agent for this project.

Best of luck,
Lizzie

Bertha Lavelle said...

I'm sorry, this one isn't for me. Although I did find elements of your query gripping, I grew confused as to who the protaganist's 'tormentor' was,
All the best
Bertha

Amethyst Greye Alexander said...

Dear Author,

I've reviewed your query but am afraid your project isn't a good fit with the works I represent. I hope you won't let this discourage you, however, as every agent has different tastes and you're sure to find representation that will better suit your needs.

Thank you for considering me.
Amethyst Adams

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Regretfully I'm going to pass. If you are interested in feedback on your query I've provided some below. Please keep in mind this is only one person's opinion.

While your idea sounds interesting, you've devoted most of your query to setting up your story, and I don't get a very clear sense of your characters or their motivations.

Good luck to you.
- AI

Anonymous said...

I'm intrigued. Please send the first 50 pages. Thank you,
Agent DC

Wandering Spirit said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query for P.O.V. The story has intrigued me and I wish to read more in order to explore its potential. Please can you send me the first 30 pages as an attachment for further consideration? Please assist me by including your original query with your response.

Best wishes

Agent for a Day

Note: It intrigued me and although the query began to wander a little I thought it was worth my last manuscript request!

Lupina said...

Thank you but it's not for me at this time.

J.C. Towler said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query letter.

The premise of your story is intriguing however I am not overwhelmed with confidence after reading your query. Based on the story idea, I would like to see a sample of your writing and request that you send me the first five chapters of your novel.

Respectfully,

John

Kats said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query. I find the premise of P.O.V intriguing, but am not taking on any new clients right now and will have to pass.

Best,
Agent for a Day, Kats

Larry Writer said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, unfortunately your project does not fit my list at this time.

Best regards,

Larry

RK said...

Dear Author,

You've an intriguing idea, but it meanders. Once you've edited and tightened, please try me again.

Thanks.

Agent-for-the-day

Jenny said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for giving me a chance to consider your work. Please email me the first three chapters and a synopsis of in Word format. You will receive a form acknowledgment to let you know I have received your submission. Please allow up to six weeks for a reply.

PT Hammonds said...

Dear Author:

Thanks but this doesn't seem right for me.

Sara Cox Landolt said...

Dear Author,
I received and read your query. I'm going to pass. I like the idea, the mystery. Keep working on it, it has great potential.

Best to you,
Agent SCL

Savannah Pens said...

Dear Author: Thank you for your query. While the premise is intriguing, I will pass at this time. You may have more success by tightening up the query. Best wishes. Savannah Pens Agent

Patti K. said...

Thank you for your submission but I do not believe that it is right for me at this time. Good luck in your quest for the perfect agent.

Patti K.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, not right for me.

Marie

Barbara Webb said...

Dear Author,

Your premise is interesting. Please send along the manuscript.

Thanks!

Barbara

Lois Lavrisa said...

Dear Author,

While I appreciate your consideration of our agency, I will have to pass on your project.
I am sorry to say I did not have the passionate response to it that I would need to request more or offer you representation. Obviously you want an agent who will stand enthusiastically behind your work.

Additionally, given today’s publishing climate I do not believe I would be able to get you the attention from a publisher that your book deserves.

Publishing is very subjective, though, and another agent may well feel differently.

I do wish you success in finding representation and, once again, thank you for the opportunity to consider your work.

Sincerely,

Lois Lavrisa
Agent for a day

The Writers Canvas said...

This sounds intriguing. Please send the first 50 pages for our review.

thanks,
Elaine

Lucy said...

Dear Author: Thank you for contacting us. Unfortunately, we do not feel that we are a suitable agency to represent your work. We wish you every success in your search for an agent. Sincerely, L. C.

cwsherwoodedits said...

Thank you for your query. Your story sounds interesting. Please email me the full manuscript.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Maricar said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. However, your work does not fit our needs at this time. Best of luck.

Raven56 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting. Please attach the first 50 pages of your manuscript as a word document to this email.

Sincerely,

Raven56

jimg said...

please send the first 75 pages.

thanks,

jim

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank your for your interest in our agency. However, I'm afraid this isn't quite right for us. Best of luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,

Agent.

Just_Me said...

Placing this in the MAYBE pile until I finish reading queries. I like the concept, I'm not in love with the voice. I really want to see the first 5 pages to get a better feel for the author.

Annalee said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your manuscript. I'm afraid it isn't right for me.

Regards,
-Annalee

-----------
Reason: It started off promising, but I got lost somewhere in the middle. Where did this power to see through computer screens come from, and how is it related to the power to dream about places her photos have been? Because her photos have been on the screen? I get no sense of how the villain fits into all this. What do they want?

Horserider said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for allowing us to consider your work. I’m sorry to say that this is not something we are interested in at this time. We receive hundreds of submissions every week and, unfortunately, cannot take them all on. This is a very subjective business and I wish you luck on your journey to publication.

Sincerely,

Horserider Literary Agency

Audrey E said...

Dear Author,

I would love to request the full manuscript for your novel P.O.V.! I am very excited about this premise and cannot stop thinking about it.

Many thanks,
Audrey

(My requests for the day were #'s 9, 17, 19, 36, and 48.)

IQOkie said...

Dear Author,

Please send the first 30 pages.

Thank you,

Tricia

Jill said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for thinking of me as a possible representative for your novel.

While your query held my interest, I’m sorry to say I’m not enthusiastic enough about the novel’s premise to request additional materials.

Best of luck in finding the right home for your novel.

Agent Du Jour

Newbee said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Your book sounds interesting and I would like to get a better perspective on it. Please send the first 3 chapters of your novel.

Thanks,

Jen

super agent nicole said...

Dear author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit a query. Unfortunately, I am unable to offer representation at this time.

Thank you,
Nicole

sKim said...

Please send the full manuscript of your novel. We are intrigued.

Taymalin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this story is not for me at this time. Best of luck with your future endeavors,

Taymalin

The Classic Carol said...

Dear Author of P.O.V.:
Thank you for your query. I am interested in reviewing your work. Please forward your manuscript and a brief resume.

Krista said...

Sorry, rejection.

I really considered this one. I loved the beginning, but the end fell flat for me.

Good luck!!

Anonymous said...

Please send the completed manuscript.

Agent Y

Rachel said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I am going to pass. Good luck with finding representation.

TFree said...

This one is interesting, but in the end I'm afraid I have to pass. Please feel free to submit any other projects you have completed.

Best,
TF

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for letting me consider your project. Unfortunately, it is not quite right for my list. I must therefore step aside and encourage you to submit elsewhere.

Best,
Agent

PS - This is just my reading, but the last paragraph can be read to suggest that Audra gets killed. That can't be right, can it?

Marilyn Peake said...

Dear Author of P.O.V.:

Thank you for your query. I regret to inform you that I cannot offer you representation at this time. Please do not in any way interpret this as meaning that your book doesn’t have merit or that you should give up on writing. Follow your dreams. I wish you all the best in your search for a literary agent.

Sincerely,
Writerly Angst Literary Agent

Jeannie said...

Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately your project is not what we’re looking to represent at this time. Best of luck.
- Jeannie

Note: Initial paragraphs were very intriguing. The nature of Audra's psychic visions feels unique. If this story went somewhere else besides a murder/suspense, I would have requested. As it is, psychic becomes victim feels overdone.

e said...

Dear Author,

Although I would reconsider this manuscript's title, the premise itself is intriguing. Please send me your first and last chapters for further consideration.

I look forward to finding out how Audra handles her situation, and to further communication with you.

Thank you,

E

Inkblot said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Your premise is extremely interesting, but ultimately I am passing on it. While you detail an extremely interesting set-up, I wanted more when it came to the meat of the story.

I wish you the best of luck in placing it elsewhere.

Regards,

Agent Inky

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