Nathan Bransford, Author


Monday, April 13, 2009

Be An Agent for a Day: Query #46

This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here

Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!



Dear Agent for a Day:

When begging and bribery fail to free Em Hopkins from theater class, she discovers that her shape-shifting might not remain a secret forever. Em's tasty neighbor is more of a temptation than she needs at this point, but the real struggle will be keeping her gossip-loving best friend in the dark about Em's unique ability.

SHIFTER is a complete, 50,000-word young adult novel about what it's like to feel alone in the world.

One of my speculative fiction stories ("Karma," in Sam's Dot Publishing's 2007 COVER OF DARKNESS anthology) and several of my poems have been published. SHIFTER is my first novel. I have included the first five pages below, for your consideration.

Thank you for taking the time to consider representing my work.

Regards,

Author


Shifter

Part One: January

1
I stood in front of the water-spotted bathroom mirror and shifted myself into a supermodel, a tall one with sexy lips and a juicily curving figure.
If there were other shape-shifters in the world, they would probably despise me for being so shallow. But I live in the land of cow patty bingo and weekly Two-Step Night, so I have to find entertainment where I can.
I checked out the supermodel in the mirror. She was hot.
I could’ve gone to school that way. I could’ve pretended to be someone else, and everyone would’ve been so fascinated by the gorgeous new girl that no one would notice the absence of Em Hopkins, who had gone to school in Llano her whole life and, just like the rest of them, had never done anything interesting.
I added an extra inch of height and thick black eyelashes.
Perfect.
My sister, Lauren, yelled from the kitchen, “You’re going to be late for school if you don’t get your ass out the door, Em.”
I mocked her in the mirror, the supermodel figure shifting into Lauren’s short, thin body, the hair shifting dark blonde and shineless. One face faded into the other as smoothly as changing expressions.
I tried a smile in the face. It hardly looked like Lauren. I tried to remember if Lauren used to smile and when she had stopped doing it.
The shift from Lauren to me won’t be a huge one. Shorten and darken the hair. Make small changes to the nose and pale green eyes. Lauren is only two years older than me, so there won’t be any wrinkles to stretch or teeth stains to whiten.
But it’s different, always different, when I come back to my own face.
The usually fluid, instantaneous shift paused and shuddered, and for four seconds, I waited, and horror twisted around my lungs like a thorny vine while I waited for my own face and shape to return.
I don’t know why it terrifies me. I don’t know why my terror never prevents me from shifting, even when I have no real need to shift. Maybe the fear that I might lose my face, my barely adequate face, gets lost in the desire to do the one thing that keeps me from being dull.
But there I was, after my four panicked seconds, staring back at myself, my stomach in knots and my heart beating at hummingbird speed. I looked like me again: combed, mascaraed, and ready to blend in, my face feeling stretched and unstretched like a balloon. I smeared another layer of foundation over the fading bruise on my right cheek, a souvenir from my mother’s last visit.
“I liked the supermodel more,” I whispered to my reflection. She glared back at me.
I took a purple striped bangle bracelet from my collection and slid it over my hand, resting it over the scars on my wrist. Then I left the bathroom, grabbed the week’s lunch money and my backpack, and headed for school.
I stepped off the porch as an old motorcycle snarled past me and on down the gravel road, the driver’s thick black hair whipping back in his own personal wind.
Ipo.
Unfortunately, he didn’t know that I dreamed about licking his face. He would know someday. I’d tell him eventually, and even though he was three years older and several billion times sexier than me, he would sleep with me. Then I could move on to someone who noticed when I entered the room.
My sneakers crackled against the gravel. Because I was listening to it and only half daydreaming, I heard the footsteps running up behind me.
I stepped out of the way just in time to prevent Manu, brother to the awe-inspiring Ipo, from bowling me over. He grinned and fell into step beside me.
“Not walking to school with me anymore, Em?” Manu asked.
“I figured you’d catch up.”
Manu’s grin showed his one crooked tooth. I had watched him hone that smile in the mirror since we were six. Three girls fell in love with him every week because of that smile or because of his dark Hawaiian skin. Half of the sophomore girls were already zombies under his sadistic control.
Manu shrugged off his jacket as we walked and jammed it into his backpack. “I think I might die of heat stroke before spring,” he said.
It was January. Even for Texas, this weather was ridiculous. The brown grass and shrub skeletons and persistent Christmas lights insisted that it was still winter, but I was skeptical.
“Is Lauren getting a ride to school?” Manu asked. He glanced back at my little white house, right next to his little white house. I wondered if he expected to see Lauren walking behind us, staring at her shoes and pretending not to know us as usual.
“She’ll probably vanish into smoke and drift to school. You can do that when you’re pure evil,” I said.
“So why can’t you do it?” Manu said.
I gave him a mock laugh and kept walking, past the mailbox shaped like Rudolph’s head, past the one part of our route where we could see the river from the road.
“So, did you miss me while I was gone?” he asked.
“You were gone?”
“You don’t have to answer,” he said. “I know you don’t like to lie. I’ll just accept your look of overwhelming joy as a ‘yes.’”
I smoothed my sweater and wiped the sweat from my nose. “I missed your mom’s cooking while you were all sun-bathing and surfing and roasting pigs. I missed your basement. I missed having someone around who was so obsessively self-centered that he spends an hour smoothing his hair but can’t manage to zip his fly.”
Manu glanced down, stopped, turned away, zipped, and turned back grinning.
I thought about saying the words, “I didn’t miss you,” but it was probably a lie. And Manu was right. I hated to lie.
Instead, I said, “Did they perform some primitive growth hormone rite of passage while you were there? Or do people with your freakish genes usually grow three inches taller over Christmas?”
He glanced at me—or glanced down at me. He was a freaking giant. And he had that sort of bent shuffle that said he wasn’t comfortable with being a freaking giant yet.
It’s weird, but that made me kind of sad. Manu usually came out of the gate with flair, cape flowing. Never mind the raging Spanish bull.
But three ungainly inches and he’s Quasimodo.
“Four inches,” he said, and I couldn’t tell if it was shame or pride or some mixture in his voice.
We turned off the gravel onto the paved road that led to school. One car passed us, then the road was silent. Llano, Texas: Home of People Who Stay Home to Watch The Price Is Right.
“You could play basketball, now,” I said, trying to sound encouraging.
“Yippee,” he said. “What about you? What’s new at the Hopkinses’?”
“I’m officially living in the living room now. My clothes are in the ottoman, and I keep all the other essentials in the cabinet under the bathroom sink. Lauren and I had been sharing a room for too many years. I’m surprised it lasted as long as it did.”
“You should just throw all of your mother’s crap out onto the lawn and move into her room,” Manu said.
Something between my heart and my stomach went heavy. I twisted my face into a half-smile. “She still lives there,” I said.
“When’s the last time you saw her?” he asked.
“Last week,” I said, touching my cheek.
“And before that?”
I couldn’t remember. Sometimes she came home when I was out, and I knew she’d been there because there was a dirty glass in the sink or because some of my CDs were gone or because the house smelled faintly of liquor and Vanilla Fields.
Manu didn’t understand. His mother was every perfect TV mother and the quirkiest Friends episode combined.
He pulled my hair. Maybe it was his version of a hug.
Llano High School, tall and skinny, stood wedged between the old prison (now the library) and the shops that lined Peach Street like train cars.
We trudged toward it.
#
2
As soon as I walked into my first period class, I was sent to talk to the office gremlins about my schedule.
I passed Whitney and Brandi in the hall and waved hello. They were nice and relatively interesting, and because they didn’t mind when Cola gossiped about them to the entire sophomore class, Cola and I usually ate lunch with them and considered them more or less friends.
Whitney waved back, Brandi commented on my cute sweater, and I continued past them through the glass doors of fate.
Three office ladies sat behind the tall counter, staring at their computers with a vague sort of misery. Their faces would inch closer and closer to the monitors as the semester passed. By the end, they would be swigging from the fun flask when the vice-principal, Mr. Baldie, was out.
Mrs. Brewer, a woman with twice the mass of an average human being, asked for my name. She typed, then handed me the page that the printer spit out.
I took it.
“I can’t be in theater,” I said, handing the schedule back to her. She wouldn’t take it. “I have a medical condition. Call my doctor. He’ll tell you.”
Mrs. Brewer ignored me. She stared at her computer and jabbed the tab key with her index finger. According to Cola, Mrs. Brewer sold one of her kidneys on the black market to finance her husband’s gourmet beer business.
“I signed up for taxidermy,” I said.
“Taxidermy’s full. Theater is not, Miss Hopkins.” Jab, jab, jab.
Cola also said Mrs. Hernandez, the theater teacher, was a member of the Neo-Nazi party. That one might be true.
“But my whole schedule has been rearranged,” I said, searching Mrs. Brewer’s face for signs of empathy. “What about band? Athletics?”
“Full,” Mrs. Brewer said.
“German II?”
“You haven’t taken German I,” Mrs. Brewer said immediately.
I had a vision of Mrs. Brewer lying in her single bed, memorizing student transcripts as her husband snored from his bed across the room.
I said, “German I, then.”
“German I isn’t offered this semester.”
The second bell rang, blasting from the speaker on the wall behind Mrs. Brewer’s desk. I flinched. She didn’t.
“Medical condition,” I repeated.
I pulled my sweater away from my skin. Never mind that it was a summery winter outside. We had to have the heater on until the calendar announced the first day of spring. Down with Mr. Baldie’s despotic regime.
“Please call my doctor,” I said again. “He’ll tell you.”
“I’m sure he would. Here is your schedule. Theater meets in B1. That stands for ‘basement one.’ Can you find it?”
Mrs. Brewer slapped the schedule and slid it back across the counter to me.
I tapped my fingers next to the schedule, then reached over and picked up the receiver of Mrs. Brewer’s phone.
She stared at me as though she couldn’t believe I would invade her inner sanctum.
I smiled at her and dialed.
“I’m in class,” Manu whispered, but he didn’t hang up.
“Hi,” I said. “This is Emily Hopkins. Is Dr. Shyamalan available?”
“Damn it. Hold on a minute,” Manu said.
“Of course. I’ll hold.” I heard him ask to be excused.
After a few muffled seconds, Manu said, “Okay. Let’s get it over with.”
I passed the phone to Mrs. Brewer, whose glare had deepened into an expression of loathing.
But she took the phone and gruffed, “Is there any medical reason why Emily Hopkins can’t participate in theater class?”
I heard the distant babble of Manu’s voice, and I twirled my bangle bracelet for luck.
Of course, there was a medical reason why I couldn’t take theater. I’d shape-shifted while reading, drawing, watching TV, salsa dancing, daydreaming, and staring at blank walls.
Acting, actively pretending to be someone else, did not seem like a bright idea. If I accidentally shifted in front of my class, or worse, on stage in front of a room of parents and teachers, everyone would know what I was.
And I was pretty sure that that would ruin my magically defective life.

STATS: 23% request rate






323 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 323   Newer›   Newest»
Agent X said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to query. I'm afraid this isn't the right piece for me. I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Agent X

AgentMan said...

Sorry, we don't handle YA fiction. Best of luck.

AgentMan

Casey said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your time and consideration. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent SHIFTER and your career as a writer.

Best wishes,

Casey

Superfast said...

Thank you so much for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't feel I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Good luck and keep writing!

lesleylsmith said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter.
Your premise is interesting.
Please email me the first 3 chapters of your novel.
Thanks,
-Lesley

Barb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.

All the best,
Barb

Vicky said...

Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately, this project is not right for us. Best of luck finding representation for your work.

All best.

Lucy A muse ision said...

Sorry.Thanks.



Lucy A muse ision
fictitious agent

Chanelley said...

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not what I’m looking for at this time. However, do continue to query widely. After all, it does only take one agent to say yes! Though, I do have to say I was intrigued, but not enough to request more.
All the best,
Agent for the day

Mr. Snark said...

Dear Author:

Here we go. Starting a YA novel with a parent admonishing a child that they're going to be late for school (except you made it a sister). It's like starting a book with the alarm clock ringing. Cliches like that always stop me in my tracks.

Pass.

Regards,

Mr. Snark

hannah said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me.

Best,
hannah

brian_ohio said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best,

Brian

Anonymous said...

(Grrrr - my open id isn't working. This is selestial_owg.livejournal.com)

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I'm afraid I will have to pass. This is a very subjective business, and another agent might feel differently. I wish you the best of luck in your search.

Selestial

A few things here, I didn't really get any sense of the plot or conflict other than keeping her secret and a potential love interest. Also, 50k is a bit on the short side for YA. I took a peek at the sample, and your first five paragraphs all begin with the letter I (in 4 of 5 it is the word I). While sentences beginning with I are common in first person, you want to vary it whenever possible. It stood out to me, it could well stand out to an agent.

dhole said...

Dear Author, thanks for your query. Unfortunately, it's not right for my list, best of luck, etc.

(very close on this one.)

Monika said...

Thank you for your submission, but I do not think this project is right us. This is a subjective business and other agencies will feel differently. We wish you every success with your project.

PPP said...

Dear Author,

Since shape-shifting has been done quite a lot, you've got to do it in a startlingly new way in order to succeed. I wasn't startled.

Best of luck placing this with someone else, though.

Signed,
PPP

Cassandra said...

Dear Author,

I'm afraid that at this time I am unable to offer representation for your novel. This is purely a business decision, and unfortunately means that I must turn away many talented individuals. I encourage you to continue querying agents you think might be interested.

I appreciate your interest in Agent for A Day, and wish you every success in your writing career.



Regards,
Cassandra

scj said...

Sorry, but I have to pass. The query itself was too vague, but the pages were well written and interesting. The beginning was particularly amusing. However, I feel like the writing could use a little more tightening and since the query didn't give any indication of where the story is going, I must pass with regret. Best of luck.

sraasch said...

Dear Author,

I'm on the fence. Change my mind -- first five chapters, please!

Thanks!

Cindy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sending your query. Unfortunately, this project is not the right one for me.

All the best,
Cindy

Bija Andrew Wright said...

Sorry, I'm not interested.

Josephine Damian said...

Kinda liked it - would request a partial.

Madison said...

Dear Author,

Thank you so much for submitting your work and considering me to represent it. While the story sounds quite interesting, I am afraid it does not fit my list at this point in time and I must regretfully pass. I know rejections can be hard to take, but please keep submitting and following your dream.

Best of luck in your agent hunt!

Sincerely,

Madison

Reason for rejection: Don't see how the shape shifting is a problem in real life. Sounds like she can control it so why does it make her feel like an outcast? I'm not getting this.

Heather said...

Dear Author,

Please send me your full manuscript as an email attachment at your earliest convenience.

Thanks,
Heather


The writing of this captured me completely. And I kind of did it backwards, which was a mistake, because the query did nothing for me.

After reading the first scene where she shifts in front of the mirror, I was mesmerized. And then I read the query, but by then it didn't matter.

All of that to say that you may want to take advantage of places like the QueryTracker and AbsoluteWrite forums to work on your query, because I think you really have something special.

suki said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me. I wish you luck in your search for representation.

Regards,
Suki


Reasoning: I just wasn't engaged by the voice or protagonist. It is an interesting premise, and maybe with additional revision could be made to shine. But based on this draft I would pass.

raeder said...

Sorry, this is a pass from me. I didn't bother to read the provided pages because from the query I couldn't discern the plot.

I'm sure there is more to the book than Em trying to keep her shifting secret, but without stating what else the book is about I don't have the time to try and struggle through.

Best of luck.

reader said...

oops that was READER (above)

Also, someone stated 50k is too short for a YA. Uh, no it really isn't. There are lots of YA books that are 50k.

Merry Monteleone said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Only Literary Agency Insane Enough To Trust Me With Queries. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pass.

Best of luck,

Merry

sally apokedak said...

I love this. This is my favorite so far. Unfortunately I've already asked for five manuscripts. And I sent those requests immediately because I hate to leave things and have to handle them twice.

So if this were the real world, I'd definitely be asking for this one. Your voice is wonderful, I like both characters a lot, and I like the idea of a girl shape shifting while reading or acting.

I like everything about this one.

Derek said...

Dear Author,

I have maxed out on manuscript requests for today, so I must pass on this one.

Agent For A Day.

Megan said...

Dear Author,

While I was impressed with your pages, this is not what I am looking for at this time. Best of luck,

Meg Spencer

David said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but this project doesn't sound right for me.

Anonymous said...

In response to above comments, most YA novels these days are longer than 50k. That's only about 200 pages. Most YA I've seen in bookstores are at least around 300 pages, which would be 75k, unless they're shorter series books like Gossip Girl. Maybe I'm just looking at all the wrong books, but that's my observation...

Sasha said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. The voice is compelling, but I need a stronger sense of the conflict (in both the query, and the opening scene). Although your writing clearly shows promise, I don't think I'm the best agent to represent Shifter.

Good luck and yours truly,
AftD

Barbara Webb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sharing THE SHIFTER, but I am going to pass.

Best of luck!

Barbara

jimnduncan said...

Thank you for querying me, but I'm afraid I'm passing on your story. Best of luck in your continued writing endeavors.

(reason: not enough story here for me to grab onto.)

Endless Secrets said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, I find your word count to be a tinge to short for YA and I can tell from your first chapters that you are a good writer but unfortunately this is not what I am looking ofr at this time.

Best of luck
-Lea

Jenn Johansson said...

Dear Author -

I'm hooked and I would love to read more of your ms. Please send the full in a .doc file attachment asap.

JJ

Agent KES said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I am not able to offer you representation at this time. Best of luck,

Agent KES

Craven said...

Thank you for your consideration. Please send me a full manuscript.

Good work and good luck, Craven

Dawn G. said...

Dear Author,

Unfortunately, I am unable to offer you representation at this time. Thank you for submitting your work for consideration. Please keep me in mind for future projects.

Kindest Regards,

D. Agent

PCB said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query for "Shifter." We are not in a position to represent you at this time, but wish you all the very best in your writing endeavors.

Sincerely,
PCB

Here's why: the query letter is vague (I'm not sure why you go from mentioning shape-shifting to a tasty neighbor...um, does she eat people as a shape-shifter?); your attached pages need to be edited further before submission. That said, I really enjoyed Em's humor and her interactions with Manu. I think you've got some good work here, it just needs a bit of polishing. Thanks for sharing your query and the attached pages.

jjdebenedictis said...

Dear Author,

I'm very excited about your sample pages for SHIFTER. Em and Manu are both likeable and easy to empathize with, and your writing shows many delightful flashes of humour.

Please send me the first three chapters of SHIFTER, as well as an SASE and sufficient postage for me to return your pages to you later. You should hear back from me within two weeks.

I'm really looking forward to reading your work!

Sincerely,
J. J. DeGoblin

PS - I found your sample pages quite a bit more compelling than your query letter, which didn't describe SHIFTER's plot adequately or in a gripping manner. So, if you are querying other agents while you wait to hear back from me, you may wish to polish your query letter further.

(Hee! Obviously a real agent would never help you tip off her competitors as to the quality of the book she's interested in! :-D )

Mystery Robin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I am not the right agent for this book. Best of luck!

I will say that I was drawn into the sample pages for a while, but I felt the writing needed to tighten up just a little bit more. I think you have potential, here, though.

Robin

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Your sample pages piqued my interest. Please send the first 50 pages to my email. I'll be delighted to read them.

Sincerely,
Megan

Laurie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. While your premise is intriguing, I have to pass on your manuscript at this time.

Best of luck to you,
Laurie

Jen C said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to the Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever. I regret that, at this time, your project is not quite what I’m looking for. I wish you the best of luck in your continuing search for representation.
Sincerely,
Jen C.

K. Andrew Smith said...

Dear author,

Thank you for the submission, Shifter. Unfortunately, it is not quite right for me. I wish you good fortune in your search for an agent.


Sincerely,

K. Andrew Smith

Ello said...

Dear Author,

I would love to see the full!

side note - I think the query letter would have been a form reject - way too short and not enough info or any idea of true conflict, but I LOVED the sample pages!!!!!!!!!!

Caroline said...

Dear Author:

Please send me the full manuscript as soon as possible. Your sample pages are intriguing and it sounds like you have a wonderful premise for a young adult novel. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Best regards,

Agent Caroline

(PS: This is my favorite so far, and as part of the target audience (I'm 14), I would definitely read this one. However, as others said your query could use some work. The sample pages were what grabbed me. I hope to see this on the shelf sometime. Good luck!)

Anonymous said...

The problems I see with the query (not to mention the sample pages) are manifold. To begin with:

When begging and bribery fail to free Em Hopkins from theater class, she discovers that her shape-shifting might not remain a secret forever.A sentence that begins with "when" should have a cause/effect relationship, but there isn't one here. What does begging have to do with others discovering she's a shape-shifter? It make absolutely no sense, and that's just the first sentence.

Em's tasty neighbor is more of a temptation than she needs at this point,What point? The point at which she doesn't get out of theater class? This month? This year? This millenium?

but the real struggle will be keeping her gossip-loving best friend in the dark about Em's unique ability.Should be: but the real struggle will be keeping Em's gossip-loving best friend in the dark about her unique ability...

Lots of work needed here. Good luck!

Katie said...

I think this sounds interesting and I actually like your brief and to the point query.

However, I think you should edit that first sentence a tad because her "tasty neighbor" doesn't seem to fit into her theater dilemma OR her shape shifting. Obviously the neighbor DOES play a part in this, but your sentence doesn't totally convey that yet.

Good Luck!

Harsh Critic said...

Your query letter seems a bit disjointed and vague, but your sample pages are great.

Please send me your manuscript.

bridge said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, I am not the right agent for your project.
Best wishes,
Bridge
On a personal note, this was short and concise but didn't hook me. What's up with the theatre class, why does it matter if she skips it? What's the deal with the delicious guy? It doesn't all fit and it sounds like interesting elements thrown in to entice us, but it falls a bit flat. This could be an exciting premise. I liked the idea, but it doesn't convey a great tone. I would leave out your short fiction credentials too.
Hope this helps,
Bridge

Anonymous said...

Your query needs some work and I agree with the others that have suggested crit groups. I think you have a great voice and lovely imagination, but I couldn't help noticing the overuse of adverbs, chopping paragraphs, and the botched shifting between past and present tense.
Just work on the craft, and the piece will flow better. I think you've got great potential.

Laura said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but your premise isn't a good fit for me.

Best of luck,

Agent Laura

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit.

I regret to inform you that at this time I would like to pass on your book.

Best of luck in the future,

Regards,
Agent for a Day, Bookworm Megs

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

While this project shows merit, I'm afraid it didn't fully resonate with me. I feel sure that another agent will feel differently, and wish you the best of luck.

-Agent Pro Tempore

Kristi said...

Thank you for your query. I don't feel this is right for me but I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,
Kristi

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for thinking of me, your novel sounds interesting but it's not for me at this time.

Good luck with your search for an agent.

Kind regards,

amyandnick

quixotic said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, however, I do not feel excited enough about it to request anything further.

Good luck in your search for an agent.

Quixotic

Rick Daley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, I would like to read more. I'll admit the query itself did not move me, but your sample pages showed voice and spark. Please email me the first 50 pages of your manuscript at your earliest convenience. Word 97-2003 (.doc) or 2007 format (.docx) are acceptable.

I usually respond to partials within 2 weeks. If you do not hear from me in that time frame, feel free to follow up.

Regards,

Daley Agent for a Day

Christine Rose said...

Dear Author:

I'm hooked by both your query and your writing sample. Please send the full manuscript.

Author for a Day

Disgruntled Bear said...

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately I am going to have to pass at this time.
I wish you the best of luck with another agent.

Sincerely,
Agent

StrugglingToMakeIt said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Best,

Agent

(This one was close, but unfortunately we only get five. And some of the word choices didn't sit well with me. I did like it, though.)

EJ Lange said...

Author,

I'm so glad you included a few pages with your query, because if it were not for those pages, I wouldn't be asking you this:

Can you please send me the complete manuscript?

If you plan to continue querying, I would encourage you to inject some of the voice and flow of your story into that query. The letter itself may not grab a lot of agents.
That said, I look forward to reading your full manuscript.

Agent Erin

*****
requested:
#9
#10
#26
#37
#46

Other Lisa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately it isn't what I'm looking for. I think you have a lot of promise, and perhaps with a little more editing and polish you'll have a winner.

Best of luck with your search for representation, and keep writing!

Sincerely,

Agent X

ai-hua said...

I liked the voice, but the query left me with no clue as to what the real story was. In this case it would be a rejection with a personal note and encouragement, but man oh man I wish I had more than five to give.

Onovello said...

Dear Author:

Many thanks for your query and sample pages.

Unfortunately, I am not the right agent for this work.

With all best wishes,
Onovello

ikmar said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. I am intrigued. Resend the first two chapters along with the next four.

Sincerely,
Agent for the Day

Tara Ryan said...

Dear Author,
Thank you so much for submitting your work to me. Unfortunately, Shifter is not a good fit for me at this time. I wish you much luck in your writing endeavors.
Agent-for-a-day

:)Ash said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your interest in my agency. Unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for you at this time. Best wishes as you continue your search.

Sincerely yours,

:)Ash

Author: Give us a little more information in the query. I think you may have an interesting story here, but can't tell from the query alone.

Beatriz Kim said...

Dear Shifter Author,

Thank you for your query. Your story sounds interesting and you have a great voice.

I would be interested in reading more of your work. Please email me the first 5 chapters and a synopsis of the book.

Sincerely,
BK

Brigid said...

Form rejection

PurpleClover said...

Dear Author:

Please send me a full.

Regards,
PC


Reason: Query didn't do it for me but I had just enough curiosity to read what they sent. And I was hooked. LOVE the narrative. I can see young girls relating to her voice.

Jeanne Tomlin said...

Thank you for your query letter. Your premise is interesting.
Please email me the first three chapters of your novel.
Thanks,
Jeanne

Karen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not believe this to be a good fit.

Best of luck to you,

Karen

Sharon aka Sapphire said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting a query letter for your manuscript SHIFTER. I am rather intrigued by it. Please submit the first three chapters for me to review.

Best wishes,
Sharon

Katy said...

Thank you for your submission. While I think your premise shows promise and your writing is very good, I don't think I am the right agent for this project.
Best of luck,
Katy

Bane of Anubis said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission, but it isn't right for me. Best of luck,

Bane

(reasoning: not enough details - particularly no enthralling conflict - the first line also puts me a bit off - the word "juicily" throws off the rhythm/flow for me)

DeadlyAccurate said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your query and I apologize for this form reply.

I regret I have to pass on many interesting projects due to time constraints. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.


Sincerely,

DeadlyAccurate

(I liked the pages I read, though).

Pinkie said...

Dear Author,

The query was weak and your sample chapters were not so weak. I'm afraid this novel is not ready for me to represent it.

Thanks.
CPK

bookshop said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent submission. While our agency is not the best fit for this particular project, other agents may feel differently. I wish you luck in your search for representation.


Regards,

Bookshop

M. K. Clarke said...

Sorry. Thanks.


~MKC
Another fictional agent.

Kavanaugh and Byrne's LA said...

Dear Author

Thank you opportunity to consider your work at Kavanaugh and Byrne’s Literary Agency.

We do not feel that are the best match with this project.
We wish you every success with this and other ventures

Flower Kavanaugh

I liked the idea of 'shifting' forms.
I can't see her problem if she can switch form at will.
Also, surely if there is one there must be more?

Carrie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for considering My Agency for your next project. Unfortunately, your manuscript does not fit within my needs at this time.


Thank you,

Agent For a Day.

KC in SF said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me.

I wish you the best of luck,

KC in SF

Pap said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in my agency. However, I will not be requesting any further materials from you at this time. Please note that submissions are a very subjective business and my comments are not a critique on your writing ability. I strongly encourage you to continue your search for an agent and wish you all the best.

Your sincerely,

Make-believe Agency
d

Melanie K said...

Dear Author,

Please send me the entire manuscript, via email attachment, ASAP.

I look forward to reading it!

Melanie


Notes:
* I wasn't blown away by the query, but there was enough to make me read the sample pages. I was hooked.

* If I had known from the first paragraph that Em was a sophomore in HS, it would have made more sense that she would try to bribe her way out of a theater class.

* I was initially worried that the "tasty neighbor" was going to be a tasty snack and not a little eye candy :)

Eden said...

Thanks for the opportunity but I'm afraid I'll have to pass on representing this piece.

Best of luck with your writing.

~Eden

David de Beer said...

Dear Author,

thanks for your interest but unfortunately I am going to pass this time.

Sincerely,
David de Beer

Cat Hellisen said...

Dear Author,

While this was interesting, I didn't feel drawn to the writing. The potential is there, but needs work.

I wish you the best of luck in finding representation elsewhere.

Best,
Cat.

KathyF said...

Dear Author of Query #46,

Thank you for your query. Although the query itself didn't stand out, I really like the writing and the plot has potential.

Please send me the manuscript.

KathyF

Renee Collins said...

Dear Shifter,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your story is not quite right for me.

Best of luck,

Renee

Madhat said...

Dear Author:

Thanks, but no thanks.

-Agent

Reason: I thought the query was confusing, and the pages didn't draw me in. Regarding your title, you might be interested in the latest posts here:
http://pubrants.blogspot.com/

Krista said...

Sorry, form rejection.

I have no sense of the story other than the girl is a shape-shifter and that alone is not interesting enough.

Adam Heine said...

I'm sorry, but this isn't right for me. Thank you for submitting and good luck.

CJK said...

Thank you for your query. I am not interested in further materials on this work. Good luck with your search for representation. CJK

Thomas said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. However, your work does not meet our current needs. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.

Sincerely,

Tally

Sage said...

Dear Shifter,

I didn't get a good enough sense of the novel from your query, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to pass.

Thanks,
Sage

Melinda said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but unfortunately this project isn't right for me. Best of luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,

Melinda

P.S. I really enjoyed the voice in your sample pages and want to read more, but your query doesn't contain enough info on your story. At the very least, you need to explain the basics of her ability - how it works, why theater class is a problem, and why it needs to remain a secret.

MK said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission. After careful consideration, I've decided this manuscript isn't for us at this time.

Good luck with your search.

Best,
Agent For a Day

romoak said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. While aspects of this story are intriguing, this story is not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your continued efforts. Please keep in mind that other agents are different.

-- At first glance, I thought, oh, another werewolf story. Your spin on shifting is unique, but I would pick another name otherwise, most will have the same reaction I did. Your query didn't sell me completely, it was the first two paragraphs. But then, there was more description and no action, then more descrip... and you lost me.

Brigita said...

Thank you for sending me your query. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation

Melissa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your manuscript, but I don't think I'm the right agent for it. Best of luck.


Thoughts: It's a strong query, and the pages include some good writing. Ultimately, as a pretend agent I had to make a call for my last request, and I'm going to try another one instead.

The Things We Carried said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I am sorry to inform you I am not the right agent for your work.

Your idea is an intriguing one, but the story was difficult to follow. You may consider starting the book a a different place in the story to make it clearer to your readers.

Sincerely,

Agent

Annie said...

I'd pass.

Reason: while the writing is OK, the letter gives me no real hook.

Nay said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.
I would love to see more.
Please send me the first three chapters.

-Nay

Jeni said...

Dear Shifter,
Thank you for your query. I sincerely appreciate the opportunity to review your proposal, and found the premise for your manuscript intriguing. However, I’m afraid that the manuscript does not meet my needs at this time. Please do continue to send your work to other agents, as someone else may feel differently.
Best of luck in your publishing endeavors,
Jeni

austere said...

Dear Author #

Looks like an interesting style and story.

Send me the first three chapters so that I can take a call.

Regards

ps:Watch out for the commas.

Nixy Valentine said...

Dear Author:

I'm sorry, but I'm not the right agent for this book.

Notes: It boiled down to the fact that I've now read through all 50 queries, have 2 slots left, and 7 remaining books I like.

In the end it was just personal preference for the other stories. So sorry. Your query really is quite good.

Sol said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately this is a genre I don't typically represent.

I wish you all the best in your search for representation.

Kind regards,

Sol Nima

Julie Weathers said...

Dear Author,

There were interesting points in your submission, but I’m afraid I can’t offer representation. This is a subjective business, and what appeals to one reader doesn’t always appeal to another. With my current workload, I have to be very discriminating and take on only projects I am passionate about.

I urge you to continue your quest to be published and wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

J.M. Agent

Jessumby said...

Dear Author

Thank you for sending me your query. I regret to inform you that it does not suit the needs of my list at this time.

Regards, Jessumby

Selene said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for contacting Selene Literary. After reading your query for SHIFTER, I would like to read the complete manuscript. Please send it as an e-mail attachment at your earliest convenience.

Best regards,
Selene Da Agent
Selene Literary

Chris Eldin said...

Sorry, but this query is very short. I don't have any sense of what the plot is.

Amy said...

Dear Author,

I read your first pages with great interest. Please send the first twenty pages.

Sincerely,
Amy

thin said...

o
Dear Author,
While it seems like an interesting premise for a book, I'm sorry to say that I cannot take on the project. Thank you for considering me, and best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
Thin

theflightytemptress said...

Dear Shifter,

Thank you for your submission, but unfortunately it’s not for me. Publishing is a very subjective business, though, and another agent may feel differently. Best of luck in your continued search.

Use of the phrase "tasty" and the immediate "sexy" in the excerpt seems to imply this is for older YA readers. Include the target age group in the query.

Aside from that, though I liked the voice, I did not get enough of an idea of the plot in the query.

Yours,

Kat Brauer

RW said...

Dear Author:

Thank you very much for your query. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to consider your work for representation. As you know, it’s a competitive market these days, and I don’t believe I have the right relationships to sell this project successfully. I do wish you luck in finding an agent and thank you for considering me.

Yours truly,

RW

Keri Ford said...

Thank you for submitting, but unfortunately I didn’t connect with this story idea.

Good Luck,
Keri


<><><><><>
Not enough information here. Don't rely on your pages to hook the agent/editor. This left me with too many questions that had me confused. Such as, what does her theater class have to do with her shapeshifting? Need more about the neighbor? Why is he suddenly too much to resist? Why is her best friend becoming a threat? You've some attention grabbers, but nothing that follows them up to make me demand to know more.

Lauren H.K. said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query and sample pages for SHIFTER. I'm interested to read more! Please send me the first 50 pages and a 2-page synopsis as an attached file.

Best regards,

Agent L.

Notes: As others have said, the query letter didn't do much for me, but the voice in the pages really pulled me in. I asked for 50 because I think it'll be clear within those pages if the writing is strong enough for publication, or if there are too many errors for me to pursue representation at this time.

Right now, I'm a little worried that the novel is heavy on premise and low on plot. I've been disappointed by some recent YA urban fantasies and SF novels due to that problem. Hopefully this one is different. Good luck with it, Author!

Also, my full name isn't terribly uncommon, but it's fun to see a fictional character who shares a name with me. :)

Polenth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. As your story didn't resonate with me, I'm going to have to pass.

--
Polenth

Poppy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I liked SHIFTER but I am afraid that your work is not right for me at this time, however I would urge you to continue to submit to other agents: this is a subjective business.

Agent

Dale - Las Vegas said...

Thank you for your submission but it doesn't seem right for me at this time.

Good luck in the future.

Moth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query to Moth's Literary Agency. While your story sounds interesting, I'm afraid it's just not right for us. Best of luck in your writing career.

Sincerely,
Moth

Deniz Bevan said...

Thank you for your query, but I wouldn't be the right agent in this instance.
I wish you luck finding the right home for your work.
Sincerely,
Ms Agent Agency

Ceadrick said...

Dear Author,

Please send me a copy of your manuscript.

Thank you,
Ceadrick

Lisa R said...

Dear Shifter:

Thank you for your query and excerpt. The premise is intriguing and your writing is good but I'm maxed out. Best of luck,

Lisa R

kdrausin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Please send me your complete manuscript.

Sincerely,

KDrausin (Down to two and one opening-Very tough decision- It was the writing that got me.)

Jabez said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not believe I am the best agent to represent your manuscript. Best of luck in your quest for publication.

Sherry Ficklin said...

Dear author,
I really enjoyed the sample pages you provided. Plese send me the full manuscript.
Sincerely,
Agent Faux

John said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for giving me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, it's not something I think I can sell at present. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.

educlaytion said...

The excerpt peaked my interest, but I'm going to have to pass at this time. Thanks for submitting this story.

Dara said...

Dear Shifter,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not think I am the right person for this book. I wish you success in your search for representation.

Best,

Dara

Specifics: The sample was intriguing but I think it needs just a bit more tightening in the writing to make it stand out more and catch the reader's attention.

Soratian said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query but I'm afraid it's a no for me. Please refer to the submission guidelines on our website to learn more about what we expect in queries.

Regards,
Soratian

Sarah Laurenson said...

Rejection with a 'please consider me in the future' addition.


The writing started out interesting then shifted into more of a plot device to describe the characters' physical features. I do like the voice. I'd like to see less 'I' sentences.

JuJu said...

Dear Author,

Though your project shows some promise and sounds interesting, unfortunately it is just not the right one for me. Please keep in mind that appeal as a novel is entirely subjective – so keep at it!

Sincerely,
JuJu

lucy in the sky said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not believe I am the best person to represent your work.

Fairduncan said...

Dear Author

Thanks for querying us. I regret I have to pass on this one, but wish you every success in finding representation.

Cordially Yours,
Agent

Savannah Pens said...

Dear Author: Thank you for your query regarding Shifter. While the concept is interesting, I must pass at this time. Best wishes. Savannah Pens Agent

Tree said...

Dear Author:
I want to thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. Unfortunately, I did not connect well enough with your project to pursue it further. As I'm sure you know, agenting is a very subjective business. Although your project didn't fit with my particular list, another agent may respond very differently.
Please accept my best wishes for success in your writing career and finding the perfect advocate for your work.
Sincerely,
Tree

Sun Up said...

Dear Author,

Not accepting YA submissions at this time. Best of luck to you


Alicia

Janeal C. Falor said...

Thank you for the opportunity to look at you work. Unfortunately, I don't feel this is the right project for me.

Heather Harper said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. After careful consideration, I regret that I’m unable to request your manuscript at this time.

Best,
Agent for a day

Venus Vaughn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm interested. Please send me the first three chapters.
I look forward to hearing from you.

~Venus Vaughn

Meggrs said...

Hmm. Query wasn't badly written, but the story doesn't seem unique enough in its market to pursue.

Rejection.

Diana said...

I was pretty into the beginning of your query, but wished you had spent more time fleshing it out rather than sending a sample.

I think the appeal of your query would be strengthened if you spent more time connecting together the plot. It may also be important to explain or emphasize a unique aspect of the story, as shape-shifter stories are fairly common.

Thanks for submitting, sorry I can not request at this time.

Maryann Miller said...

Thanks for considering our agency for representation. I was intrigued by your query and would like to see the first 50 pages. You can submit electronically to save a tree.

Sincerely,

Kats said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query. While your writing shows promise, I don't have a good understanding of your plot from your letter and will have to pass on Shifter.

Best,
Agent for a Day, Kats

Amethyst Greye Alexander said...

Dear Author,

I feel the query itself might withstand a little more work but I'm interested enough by the writing sample to want to see more. Please send the first fifty pages (give or take a paragraph) via email (pasted, not attatched) as your earliest convenience.

Thank you for considering me.
Amethyst Adams

Anonymous said...

Your work show promise, unfortunately it isn't a good fit for me right now. Good Luck!
Agent DC

Wandering Spirit said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Unfortunately your book is not of a genre that I am best suited to represent. However, all writing is of value and I wish you the best in your endeavours.

Best wishes

Agent for a Day

Note: Didn’t hook me, sorry.

Lupina said...

Thank you but it's not for me at this time.

J.C. Towler said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query and the writing sample. I find seeing a writer's work is invaluable for helping make decisions on whether or not to represent a particular manuscript.

At this time, I must regretfully pass on your story.

Respectfully,

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Regretfully I'm going to pass. If you are interested in feedback, I've provided some below. Please keep in mind this is only one person's opinion.

There are many many shapeshifter stories out there, so it's critical to point out in your query how yours is unique.

Good luck to you.
- AI

RK said...

Please send me the rest. NOW.

Thanks,

Agent-for-the day

Larry Writer said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, unfortunately this is not the right project for me.
However, you certainly can write so please feel welcome to come back with a new query for your next book.

Best regards,

Larry

Gregory said...

Dear Author;

Please send a 30-page partial and a detailed synopsis. Thank you.

Cordially,

Agent Gregory

[The query didn't hook me. The writing did. Some real talent here. Sure, more editing needed, but this is good. Sharp. And entertaining. The query needs to be as sharp as the writing!]

Sara Cox Landolt said...

Dear Author,
I received and read your query. I'm going to pass.

Your writing sample is interesting! Keep working that query. I think your idea has potential.

Best to you,
Agent SCL

Lindsey said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, though I don't think this is right for me at this time. I wish you the best of luck in your search for representation.

NB - study submission guidelines more carefully in your future queries and you may have better luck.

Regards,

Lindsey

Lois Lavrisa said...

Dear Author,

While I appreciate your consideration of our agency, I will have to pass on your project.
I am sorry to say I did not have the passionate response to it that I would need to request more or offer you representation. Obviously you want an agent who will stand enthusiastically behind your work.

Additionally, given today’s publishing climate I do not believe I would be able to get you the attention from a publisher that your book deserves.

Publishing is very subjective, though, and another agent may well feel differently.

I do wish you success in finding representation and, once again, thank you for the opportunity to consider your work.

Sincerely,

Lois Lavrisa
Agent for a day

The Writers Canvas said...

Thanks for your submission. At the present time, it doesn't fit our list. I wish you the best with another agent who might be a better fit.

Elaine

PS - I like your writing; it's just not the right fit for us. Best of luck!

Lucy said...

Dear Shifter: I'd like very much to read the first fifty pages of your novel. Please send them to me along with a copy of your query letter and a SASE with sufficient postage if you'd like your work returned. Regards, L.C.

********
Comments: This was a rare case where the query was not particularly strong, but the writing had enough voice and premise to intrigue me. This doesn't happen very often. Most of the time, if the query doesn't work, the writing won't either.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

cwsherwoodedits said...

Thank you for your query. I'd love to read more of your manuscript. Please email me the full.

Maricar said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. However, your work does not fit our needs at this time. Best of luck.

Raven56 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying "Agent for a Day" Agency. Unfortunately, we do not feel this story is a good fit for our list at this time. We encourage you to continue querying other agents.

Best of luck,

Raven56

Marilyn Peake said...

Dear Author of SHIFTER:

Thank you for your query. I regret to inform you that I cannot offer you representation at this time. Please do not in any way interpret this as meaning that your book doesn’t have merit or that you should give up on writing. Follow your dreams. I wish you all the best in your search for a literary agent.

Sincerely,
Writerly Angst Literary Agent

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank your for your interest in our agency. However, I'm afraid this isn't quite right for us. Best of luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,

Agent.

(Query was interesting, but pages stared out with too many cliches and without tension)

Just_Me said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for the query and pages. Having reviewed your material closely I don’t feel I would be the best advocate for this work. I wish you the best of luck placing it with another agency.

Sincerely,
Agent


Note: The concept is interesting but the query was a form rejection, nothing stood out making it different. I did read the pages and I'm just not in love. There's nothing I'm picking up that's technically wrong it's just really not something I want to read 100 times in the next 6 months. Sorry.

KareFree Kennels said...

Please send manuscript.

Sincerely,
Sheryl

Patti K. said...

I really liked your writing and would like to read more. Please email the first five chapters and a full synopsis as soon as possible. Thank You, Patti K.

Lipstick Lizzie said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for the chance to look at your work. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m the right agent for this project.

Best of luck,
Lizzie

Annalee said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your manuscript. I'm afraid it isn't right for me.

Regards,
-Annalee

-----------
Reason: There's nothing here that shouts "reject me," but there's also nothing that grabs me.

Horserider said...

Dear Author,

Please send the first 50 pages in a .doc attachment in an e-mail. I am interested in seeing more of the work.

Sincerely,

Horserider Literary Agency

Audrey E said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for query. I'm afraid that this piece isn't right for me and I will have to pass at this time.

Yours,
Audrey

TFree said...

Thank you for considering me. Unfortunately, this piece isn’t right for me at this time. Good luck with this and future endeavors.

TF

Tamara said...

Dear Shifter Author,

I love your protagonist's shape-shifting ability and enjoyed your voice, but as I read through the first few pages, I didn't find myself drawn into the story. I wish you the best of luck with this work, and I appreciate you thinking of me.

All the best,
Agent for a Day
(Tamara)

super agent nicole said...

Dear author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Unfortunately, I am unable to offer representation at this time.

Thank you,
Nicole

Newbee said...

Form Rejection.

sKim said...

Thank you for sending this original proposal. We regret that it doesn't suit our needs at the moment. Best of luck to you.

Taymalin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this story is not for me at this time. Best of luck with your future endeavors,

Taymalin

CarrieK said...

Dear Author of SHIFTER,

Thank you for your query. I would like to see more of SHIFTER. Please send me the first 3 chapters of your manuscript and a synopsis.

Thank you, and I look forward to reading more.

CarrieK

The Classic Carol said...

Dear Author of SHIFTER:
Thank you for your query. I am interested in reading your manuscript. Please forward with a resume.

Rachel said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I am going to pass. Good luck with finding representation.

Rachel said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I am going to pass. Good luck with finding representation.

SGF said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I read it but unfortunately have to pass on it.
I wish you the best of luck in finding representation.
Regards,
SGF

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for letting me consider your project. Unfortunately, it is not quite right for my list. I must therefore step aside and encourage you to submit elsewhere.

Best,
Agent

Jeannie said...

Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately your project is not what we’re looking to represent at this time. Best of luck.
- Jeannie

00 Pisces said...

Dear Author,
Please send me the full manuscript of SHIFTER at your earliest convenience. Your writing really grabbed me and I am itching to read more!

00Pisces

Inkblot said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I think you have a fabulous and entertaining premise, but ultimately, I am passing on it.

I wish you the best of luck in placing your story elsewhere.

Regards,

Agent Inky

Sadly, this was a 'yesyesyes!' until I read the pages. They just don't shine like they could, and are a bit... trite? I'm not sure of the word I'm looking for. Great concept, tho.

ros said...

No. Write a better query and don't send unsolicited pages.

Elizabeth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query letter and sample pages. I am intrigued. Please send the full manuscript plus synopsis as a Word attachment to agente@thisaintarealemailaddress.com.

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Agent Elizabeth

bveggie said...

Good idea. Mostly good writing. However it is a little rough and needs slight work. Also, the whole way she got into theater class isn't believable.

Shawntelle said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission today. Your writing show promise, but I am afraid I must pass since the premise didn't grab me. Good luck in seeking representation.

Sincerely,

Shawntelle

Ulysses said...

I found your concept interesting, and I would like to take closer look at the material. Please send the first 50 pages as a sample.

Janny said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me with SHIFTER. While the premise has some appeal, I'm going to take a pass on it at this time. You may want to put a bit more detail into your query on this book when you submit it elsewhere, as the sketch of plot you give in this query letter doesn't appear to have enough substance to it to merit full book length--something that you'll need to show a little more of to justify a 50K word count.

Keep in mind, too, that publishing is a subjective business; what doesn't work for me might well work for another agent. In that vein, I wish you best of luck in your continued writing endeavors!

Sincerely,
Janny

Aimless Writer said...

Hmmm, this one's a maybe. The query was weak and probably wouldn't have grabbed me. But I liked the first few pages. So I'd probably say yes.
However if you caught me just before lunch I might not have read that far. Tighten the query.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

I'd like to see more! Please submit 3 chapters of this work.

Agent99

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