Nathan Bransford, Author


Monday, April 13, 2009

Be An Agent for a Day: Query #43

This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here

Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!



Dear Agent for a Day:

I am seeking representation for my middle-grade historical fantasy THE LION'S MANE, centred around the time of the Roman invasion of Britain.

THE LION'S MANE features 12-year-old Austin and a magical cat named Kedi.

His parents rent a villa in Turkey for the entire summer and Austin gets set for the most boring vacation of his life, away from all his friends in England. But that's before he rescues a talking cat, witnesses a bloody ritual that causes two people to disappear, and suddenly finds himself whisked back in time. In Ephesus, nearly 2000 years in the past, he makes a new friend, falls in love – and finds an enemy. Evil forces are at work, doing their best to prevent Claudius the Emperor's invasion of Britain, and Austin has to act fast to figure out how to influence the Emperor and ensure that the invasion does take place. It's either that, or time and civilization as he knows it will never be the same.

THE LION'S MANE focuses on the themes of friendship and loyalty, as well as exploring the ideas of time travel and the day-to-day decisions we make, for good or bad, that can have far-reaching consequences. This story will appeal most to those readers who enjoy delving into worlds where young heroes fight for the triumph of good over bad.

Please let me know if you would be interested in seeing THE LION'S MANE. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Author

STATS: 16% request rate






303 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 303   Newer›   Newest»
Josephine Damian said...

form rejection

Bija Andrew Wright said...

Thanks for thinking of me, but I have to pass. Best of luck.

Derek said...

Dear Author,

I'm sorry, but I have maxed out on manuscript requests for today, so I must pass on this one.

Agent For A Day.
Requested #10, #12, #17, #20, #39.

scj said...

Sorry, but I have to pass. I like the idea, but there are few specifics about the plot and I don't get a sense of what happens in the novel. Best of luck.

AgentMan said...

We don't handle YA fiction. Best of luck.

AgentMan

Barb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.

All the best,
Barb

suki said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
K. Andrew Smith said...

Dear author,

Thank you for your submission, The Lion's Mane. Unfortunately, it's not quite right for me. I wish you good fortune in your quest for an agent.

Sincerely,

K. Andrew Smith

Casey said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your time and consideration. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent THE LION'S MANE and your career as a writer.

It's a good query, it just does suit my interests enough to make the cut.

Best wishes,

Casey

jimnduncan said...

Thank you for querying me, but I'm afraid I must pass on your story. Best of luck in your continued writing endeavors.

(reason: there's nothing in here to indicate just how a 12 year old could effectively function in an ancient, foreign land, much less have any dealings with the Roman Emperor, which leads me to wonder how the accuracies of the novel as a whole play out.)

Superfast said...

Thank you so much for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't feel I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Good luck and keep writing!

wickerman said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for allowing me to consider The Lion's Mane. Unfortunately I must pass on it as it does not fit my needs.


Best of Luck

The Wickerman

Envelope Licker, Bransford Lit

dhole said...

Dear Author, thanks for your query. Unfortunately, it's not right for my list, best of luck, etc.

(A close call on this one.)

Chanelley said...

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not what I’m looking for at this time. However, do continue to query widely. After all, it does only take one agent to say yes!
All the best,
Agent for the day

Cindy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I am going to have to pass at this time.

Good luck finding an agent who suits your needs.
Cindy

Kitti said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I regret to inform you that I am going to have to pass on this, but please keep me in mind for your future projects.

Best of luck,
Kitti

thelifter said...

Dear Author:

I don't like the title, but I'm vaguely intrigued at the allegorical possibilities suggested by having a character actively working to advance Roman Imperialism.

Why would evil forces try to STOP a military invasion? It makes it appear as though invading countries is a good thing. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't, but it sounds like an interesting way to combine geopolitical moral relativism and magical felines.

Send it over.

Regards,

Mr. Snark

Lucy A muse ision said...

Thanks. Sorry.

Lucy A muse ision
fictitious agent

jjdebenedictis said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent query; discovering new talent is one of the joys of being a literary agent, and I am always honoured to have the opportunity to read a writer's best work.

Please accept my regrets, however, as I won't be offering to represent this novel. I apologize for informing you of this using a form letter, but the volume of mail I receive makes it impractical for me to give personalized rejections.

I wish you the very best luck in finding a literary agent whose enthusiasm will bring your book the success it deserves!

Sincerely,
J. J. DeGoblin

~~~~~~~
For your reference, here are the most common reasons why I decline certain queries. Please note that if your submission was very good, my reasons for rejecting it were probably much subtler than the items on this list and cannot be put quickly into words. Again, I apologize for this form letter, but I cannot invest the time to critique those submissions I have chosen to not represent. Thank you for your understanding.


Most common reasons why I decline manuscripts:[ ]--The manuscript is in a genre which I don't represent

[ ]--The query appears to be a non-personalized mass mailing

[ ]--The query/manuscript's presentation was worryingly unpolished
(E.g. Many spelling, grammar, punctuation or homophone errors; a non-standard format)

[ ]--The writing doesn't seem polished enough
(This improves with practice; your next novel may be excellent)

[ ]--The plot doesn't sound compelling enough
(Again, this improves with practice and self-education)

[ X ]--The plot sounds too similar to something book-buyers have already seen


Comments, if any:Although I think the historical connection could be very interesting, your query describes several elements that are arguably overused in middle grade fiction. I worry this novel might not be different enough from others on the market to be easily sold.

brian_ohio said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best,

Brian

Mystery Robin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I am not the right agent for this book. Best of luck!

I am intrigued by the setting - I'd love to read more set in Ephesus. But I have some misgivings about plot points.

Robin

Cassandra said...

Dear Author,

I'm afraid that at this time I am unable to offer representation for your novel. This is purely a business decision, and unfortunately means that I must turn away many talented individuals. I encourage you to continue querying agents you think might be interested.

I appreciate your interest in Agent for A Day, and wish you every success in your writing career.



Regards,
Cassandra

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I will have to pass at this time.

Best,

Meg Spencer

Carissa said...

Portraying the Roman Empire as a triumph of good over evil is a tricky one to pull off, particularly with Claudius, who--a quick Google search reveals--married his niece and disinherited his son. I wouldn't put that guy around a 12 year old.

Anyway, The Time Traveling Cat and the Roman Empire is a book that already exists, weirdly. https://www.infinitas.com.au/Product.php?bar=9781842706176

Craven said...

Thank you for your consideration, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck, Craven

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your book isn't right for me. Agenting is subjective, though, and I wish you the best of luck!

Sincerely,
Megan

Polenth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I regret to inform you that due to the state of the industry, the poor economy, the subjective nature of books and the state of the sunspot cycle, I'm going to have to pass.

Other agents might feel differently, so please don't cry! Good luck with your future submissions.

--
Polenth

Jenn Johansson said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for letting me review your query. Unfortunately, I don't think this is a good fit for me at this time.

Best of luck!
JJ

Anonymous said...

This sounds great on the surface, but it seems as though a young boy rooting and trying to encourage a bloody invasion - something which would have included rape, murder and enslavement of mass populations - would be a hard sell, especially for YA.

lesleylsmith said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter.
Unfortunately, your novel is not a good fit for me.
Good luck!
-Lesley
p.s. This premise seems promising, but how does this story differ from others?

Vicky said...

Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately, this project is not right for us. Best of luck finding representation for your work.

All best.

hannah said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me.

Best,
hannah

Agent X said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to query. I'm afraid this isn't the right piece for me. I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Agent X

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me at this time.

Sincerely,
Amy

sraasch said...

Dear Author,

Not my genre. Sorry!

Heather said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but it's not for me.

Good luck!
Heather

Barbara Webb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sharing THE LION'S MANE, but I am going to pass.

Best of luck!

Barbara

Monika said...

This sounds interesting! Please send 30 pages to requested_partial@fakeaddress.com.

Feel free to email me for a status at the same address if you don't hear back within two weeks.

suki said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me. I wish you luck in your search for representation.

Regards,
Suki


Reasoning: Talking cat and the falling in love at 12 both fall flat for me. Without the talking cat and as a friendship tale, it might have had more appeal. But perhaps someone else will be intrigued. Good luck.

[sorry for the delete and repost - deleted in error]

reader said...

I love the title, but I'm having an impossible time selling my own MG, so I can't possibly take on someone else's at the moment.

Best of luck.

Endless Secrets said...

Dear Author,

For future queries I shall need to see the word count, I regret to inform you that I must reject your work and tell you that 12 year old boys do not fall in love, maybe they think they are but it is only their horomones kicking in.

Best of luck to you.

-Lea

Merry Monteleone said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest. Please send your first 50 pages via email.

Thanks and I look forward to reading them.

Merry

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid I will not be able to represent this project.

Agent99

Agent KES said...

Dear Author,

Please send the first 50 pages of your manuscript. I look forward to reading more.

Sincerely,
Agent KES

Dawn G. said...

Dear Author,

Unfortunately, I am unable to offer you representation at this time. Thank you for submitting your work for consideration. Please keep me in mind for future projects.

Kindest Regards,

D. Agent

EJ Lange said...

Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not right for me at this time. Good luck in your search for representation.

Agent Erin

PCB said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. We are not in a position to represent you at this time, but wish you all the very best in your writing endeavors.

Sincerely,
PCB

Caroline said...

Dear Author:

While the premise of this novel interests me, I am not interested in representing the work at this time. Thank you for your submission.

Best of luck,

Agent Caroline

Jen C said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to the Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever. I regret that, at this time, your project is not quite what I’m looking for. I wish you the best of luck in your continuing search for representation.
Sincerely,
Jen C.

ccallicotte4 said...

Thank you for sending me your query. I appreciate you considering me.

I reviewed your proposal and unfortunately am going to pass on representing it. Please keep in mind that this is a subjective business, and another agent may feel differently. I encourage you to query widely.

Best of luck to you.

Katie said...

I am thinking this is a great query. It's doesn't necessarily suit my taste in books, but it's a great query if you ask me. Short, succinct and to the point. And I feel like you have given me a good idea of what your story is about.

I think for you, it's just a matter of finding the right match.

Good Luck!

Rick Daley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Authors Write Literary Agency. I have reviewed your query for THE LION'S MANE, and I’m sorry to say that I do not feel that I am the best agent to represent your work at this time.

Please keep in mind that there are many talented agents out there, and opinions are subjective based on individual preferences, workload, and market climate.

Don’t be afraid to research other agents and query those that you feel are best suited to represent your work. Best of luck!

Regards,

Daley Agent for a Day

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit.

I regret to inform you that at this time I would like to pass on your book.

Best of luck in the future,

Regards,
Agent for a Day, Bookworm Megs

Kristi said...

Thank you for your query. I don't feel this is right for me but I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,
Kristi

bridge said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I'm going to pass.
Sincerely,
Bridge
On a personal note, I like the idea, but the query is too wordy. I don't get a sense of who the character is or why I should like him. I don't care about his parent's villa. Think about a hook, what is going to draw me in enough to make me want more. One sentence. Then write the query around that.
Hope thia helps,
Bridge

Christine Rose said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

Laura said...

Dear Author,

I am intrigued. Please send the first three chapters to this email.

Thank you,

Agent Laura

p.s. I'm a sucker for all things time-travel. ;)

quixotic said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, however, I do not feel excited enough about it to request anything further.

Good luck in your search for an agent.

Quixotic

StrugglingToMakeIt said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Best,

Agent

:)Ash said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your interest in my agency. Unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for you at this time. Best wishes as you continue your search.

Sincerely yours,

:)Ash

Disgruntled Bear said...

Dear Author,

I am intrigued with THE LION'S MANE, and I would like to read more. Please send the first three chapters as a Word document or a PDF file.

Sincerely,
Disgruntled Literary Agent

ikmar said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. Sorry, but it is not for me.

Sincerely,
Agent for the Day

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

While this project shows merit, I'm afraid it didn't fully resonate with me. I feel sure that another agent will feel differently, and wish you the best of luck.

-Agent Pro Tempore

Onovello said...

Dear Author:

This sounds interesting. Please send it on.

All the best,
Onovello

PurpleClover said...

Dear Author:

This was a tough call but I believe I will have to pass on representation. I think it is an excellent premise but I'm not sure it will be marketable at this time.

Regards,
PC

Sheila said...

I'd read more of this. MG, historical, fantasy, talking cat. Sounds fun.

ai-hua said...

Sounds great, but not my genre. Would recommend the book to another agent and reject with a personal note.

PPP said...

Dear Author,

This doesn't have that "brand new idea" feel. Cats are nice, though--pets are always good in kid lit if you ask me.

Sorry, I have to pass on this.

Signed,
PPP

Karen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I am sorry, but I will be unable to represent you.

I wish you luck as you continue to seek representation.

Karen

Tara Ryan said...

Dear Author,
Thank you so much for submitting your work to me. Unfortunately, The Lion's Mane is not a good fit for me at this time. I wish you much luck in your writing endeavors.
Agent-for-a-day

Jeanne Tomlin said...

Form rejection

Leslie said...

Dear Author,

Your attempts at making ancient myths interesting to young children are admirable. Unfortunately, you are competing with Disney. I am not the right agent to represent this book.

Best regards, Leslie

Beatriz Kim said...

Dear Ephesus Author,

Thank you for your query letter. Unfortunately, I will not be able to represent you at this time.

Sincerely,
BK

DeadlyAccurate said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your query and I apologize for this form reply.

I regret I have to pass on many interesting projects due to time constraints. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.


Sincerely,

DeadlyAccurate

Bane of Anubis said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission, but it isn't right for me. Best of luck,

Bane

(reasoning: this is close to my heart b/c I have a time traveling story, too that involves Rome & England; however, I feel that the query doesn't provide enough substance to draw me in - I'd also like more details of this temporal soup's occurrence/incurrence - i.e., why?)

bookshop said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent submission. I regret that I am unable to offer you representation at this time. I wish you luck in your search for representation.

Regards,

Bookshop

P.S. Why no word count?

___________


(Hi! I had a couple of problems with premise here - why are they in Turkey, and how does he wind up time traveling - can't he just time travel back?

Just to note, it's wildly inaccurate to describe a 12-year-old as falling in love, and since parents are still choosing for their kids at this age, you'd want to actually consider carefully how you wrote about and presented any pre-teen crushes happening in a work of intermediate fiction.

Overall, I really needed more central conflict and but-what's-at-stake core emotion. It's got potential, but I'm not sure that the plot fits the grade level or genre;

and since time-traveling-cat has actually been done a lot already, I'm wondering if maybe you might want to revamp this so there are more plot elements that feel inherent, developed from characterization, rather than superimposed as the result of sudden time jumps.

Good luck with this! :) )

Kavanaugh and Byrne's LA said...

Dear Author

Thank you opportunity to consider your work at Kavanaugh and Byrne’s Literary Agency.

We do not feel that are the best match with this project.
We wish you every success with this and other ventures

Flower Kavanaugh

Love the setting and the time travel part!

(Straight roads and central heating are great but maybe we could just have looked from the other side of the channel?!)

Pinkie said...

Dear Author,

I'm not sure that your intended audience will feel comfortable rooting for a character that actively seeks to ensure the invasion of a country by imperial forces. It could very well backfire. I feel it is too risky for me to take on.

Thanks.
CPK

Pap said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in my agency. However, I will not be requesting any further materials from you at this time. Please note that submissions are a very subjective business and my comments are not a critique on your writing ability. I strongly encourage you to continue your search for an agent and wish you all the best.

Your sincerely,

Make-believe Agency

Other Lisa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I found some of the elements intriguing but ultimately feel that it's not for me. Please keep in mind that this is a very subjective business, and other agencies may have a different view.

Best of luck in your search for representation!

Sincerely,

Agent X

Carrie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for considering My Agency for your next project. Unfortunately, your manuscript does not fit within my needs at this time.


Thank you,

Agent For a Day.

Katy said...

Thank you for your submission. The premise is very interesting, but I don't feel this project is a good match for me.
Best of luck,
Katy

KC in SF said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me.

I wish you the best of luck,

KC in SF

Eden said...

Thanks for the opportunity but I'm afraid I'll have to pass on representing this piece.

Best of luck with your writing.

~Eden

Cat Hellisen said...

Dear Author

While I like the sound of this, I would have appreciated knowing the length.

I wish you the best of luck in finding representation elsewhere.

Best,
Cat.


Best,
Cat

Anonymous said...

Dear Author of Query #43,

Thanks for for your query. I like your story although age 12 is too young to fall in love.

I would like to see how you handle the writing so please send me the first 50 pages.

KathyF

MK said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission. After careful consideration, I've decided this manuscript isn't for us at this time.

Good luck with your search.

Best,
Agent For a Day

David de Beer said...

Dear Author,

thanks for your interest but unfortunately I am going to pass this time.

Sincerely,
David de Beer

Adam Heine said...

This is a good idea, but I want to know what makes it different. I feel like I've read the whole "kid goes back in time and has to keep the future from changing" line before. Like, what's in it for Austin? What does he learn (don't tell it, show it)?

I'm sorry, but this isn't right for me. Thank you for submitting and good luck.

Thomas said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. However, your work does not meet our current needs. We wish you luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,

Tally

(Note: normally I enjoy fiction involving the Roman Empire. However, the author takes too much liberty with history for me to find the book a credible attempt at portraying the Roman empire. The vast distance between Turkey and Britain at the time made summer holidays extremely impractical, and that is just the first of the query's flaws).

CJK said...

Thank you for your query. I am not interested in further materials on this work. Good luck with your search for representation. CJK

Krista said...

Sorry, form rejection.

There just wasn't anything to hook me.

Melinda said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but unfortunately this project isn't right for me. Best of luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,

Melinda

Madhat said...

Dear Author:

I'm going to have to pass. I like the sound of your story and think your query is well-written, but I got hung up on this part:

This story will appeal most to those readers who enjoy delving into worlds where young heroes fight for the triumph of good over bad.

I think the whole good versus bad thing, with clear-cut lines, is too overdone in fantasy. Your character is trying to encourage an invasion of Britain; I think that's bad for some people.

-Agent

Renee Collins said...

Dear The Lion's Mane,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, the story does not seem quite right for me.

Best of luck,

Renee

Sage said...

Dear Lion's Mane,

The novel sounds promising, but I don't feel it will stand out enough in the market. Another agent may feel differently.

Thanks,
Sage

romoak said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. While aspects of this story are intriguing, this story is not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your continued efforts. Please keep in mind that other agents are different.

-- As soon as I read talking cat, I wanted to request this. But there isn't enough character or plot for me. I also have issue with the age & falling in love.

Melissa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your manuscript, but I don't think I'm the right agent for it. Best of luck.

Selene said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for contacting Selene Literary. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that this project is not right for us. We wish you the best of luck in finding an agent that is as enthusiastic about this book as it deserves.

Best regards,
Selene Da Agent
Selene Literary

Annie said...

I'd pass.

Reason: The query needs a lot more focus. I get a sense of setting, but little sense of story.

Nay said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.
I found aspects of your story very intriguing, however I am not convinced that it is the right project for me.
I’m sure your project will find a home somewhere.
Best of luck to you

-Nay

Jeni said...

Dear Lion's Mane,
Thank you for your query. I sincerely appreciate the opportunity to review your proposal, and found the premise for your manuscript intriguing. However, I’m afraid that the manuscript does not meet my needs at this time. Please do continue to send your work to other agents, as someone else may feel differently.
Best of luck in your publishing endeavors,
Jeni

austere said...

Dear Author #43

Looks like an interesting story.

Send me the first chapter so that I can take a call.

Regards

Nixy Valentine said...

Dear Author:

I'm sorry, but I'm not the right agent for this book.

Notes: It boiled down to the fact that I've now read through all 50 queries, have 2 slots left, and 7 remaining books I like.

In the end it was just personal preference for the other stories. So sorry. Your query really is quite good.

Sol said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I don't typically represent this genre.

All the best in your search for representation.

Kind regards,
Sol Nima

Jessumby said...

Dear Author

Thank you for sending me your query. I regret to inform you that it does not suit the needs of my list at this time.

Regards, Jessumby

Chris Eldin said...

I liked this one a lot.

Send me a full.

theflightytemptress said...

Dear The Lion's Mane,

Thank you for your submission, but unfortunately it’s not for me. Publishing is a very subjective business, though, and another agent may feel differently. Best of luck in your continued search.

Much of your query is too vague and a bit cliche. I think the story has promise, but try to rework the query so it sounds more like your voice.

Yours,

Kat Brauer

thin said...

o
Dear Author,
While it seems like an interesting premise for a book, I'm sorry to say that I cannot take on the project. Thank you for considering me, and best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
Thin

Brigita said...

Thank you for sending me your query. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.

Keri Ford said...

I like the concept. I think it's an interesting take on how he's ENCOURAGING the invasion. Some aspects seem like they might be too mature for a 12 year to understand, but send me the full. I'd love to take a look and see how it folds out.

RW said...

Dear Author:

This project sounds promising, and I’m interesting in learning more about it. At your earliest convenience will you please forward to me by email 20-30 sample pages (rounding off to the nearest chapter break)? Please put “Requested material” in the subject line, and I’ll read it and get back to you as soon as my schedule allows. Thank you for your query, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours truly,

RW

kdrausin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I was intrigued by your query however at this time my client list is full. Please continue to seek representation. You are on the right track.

I wish you luck on your writing journey.

Sincerely,

KDrausin

Poppy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I am afraid that your work is not right for me at this time, however I would urge you to continue to submit to other agents: this is a subjective business.

Agent

Dale - Las Vegas said...

Thank you for your submission but it doesn't seem right for me at this time.

Good luck in the future.

I completely agree with jimnduncan.

Deniz Bevan said...

Thank you for telling me about your book. I'd like to see if the writing engages me, so please cut and paste the first five pages of the manuscript into the body of an email, and I'll take a look.
Sincerely,
Ms Agent Agency

Ulysses said...

Thanks for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I don't feel I am the agent to represent this work.

Moth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query to Moth's Literary Agency. While your story sounds interesting, I'm afraid it's just not right for us. Best of luck in your writing career.

Sincerely,
Moth

Lisa R said...

Dear The Lion's Mane:

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately your book is not right for me but another agent may feel differently. Best of luck,

Lisa R

Jabez said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not believe I am the best agent to represent your manuscript. Best of luck in your quest for publication.

Sherry Ficklin said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for thnkig of me, but I'm going to have to pass. Best of luck finding another agent!

Sincerely, Agent Faux

John said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for giving me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, it's not something I think I can sell at present. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.

Dara said...

Dear Lion's Mane,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not think I am the right person for this book. I wish you success in your search for representation.

Best,

Dara

Specifics: A little confused as to how a 12 year old would know how to navigate through the past, especially during that time, and what influence he would have.

educlaytion said...

I really like this story idea. All things equal, I would request this, but I'm trying to uncover the queries I think led to published works. Query #2 edged you out, but I do think a lot of your pitch.

Anonymous said...

I think that with the love story it would b better to change the boy's age to 16.

Sasha said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. I find Claudius, British Rome, and time travel intriguing; please send me the first fifty pages of your manuscript via email.

Yours Truly,
AftD

Comments: The talking cat and "good versus evil" almost lost me, but I'm *so* curious to know how you handle the Romans in general and Claudius, the epileptic, stuttering emperor, in particular. Also, I happen to think twelve-year-olds *can* and do fall in love (and yes, I am an adult).

JuJu said...

Dear Author(s),

Your query quality is very poor and must be changed so that I can read it before I can even consider looking any work of yours, as promising as that may be. Please change your query to that it matches the submission guidelines posted.

Until then,
JuJu

(remember to include the word count)

Sarah Laurenson said...

Form rejection.


How does a 12 yr old know the invasion has to take place? That stops me from requesting pages.

RLS said...

Dear Author,
Please send your mss, The Lions Mane as an attachment. I look forward to reading more.
Agent RLS

lucy in the sky said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not believe I am the best person to represent your work.

Gregory said...

Dear Author;

Form rejection.

Cordially,

Agent Gregory

[The query isn't bad. In fact, it comes closer to showing, not telling, than most. Good job. You also try to throw in an interesting twist. The hero is TRYING to start a war! Nice. Being a techno-dweeb, I get hung up with obvious paradoxes. In this case, the time travel paradox is more blatant than in other works. Here, the only way the present can exist as it does (apparently), is if someone can go back and makes it happen. But it already unfolded the way it did before that someone (required to go back) existed! So the hero is a redundancy. Oh well. I know. Fantasy. But, those things bug me. The usual goal is to CHANGE the future, not preserve it, and that of course suffers from the same paradox. But it's a little more subtle. So, I don't know. This one is interesting, but the paradox rather powerfully negates the premise, at least for me.]

Fairduncan said...

Dear Author

I was intrigued by your query and would be interested in looking at a partial of your manuscript. If you could send me the first 50 or so pages, I'll be glad to review it and give you a timely response.

Best Regards,
Agent

Soratian said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query and I'll like to read a partial. Please send me the first 50 pages, accompanied with a detailed synopsis. These should be in standard manuscript formatting.

Regards,
Soratian

(Comments: This was neck and neck with #40 Becoming Emily Novak for my final vote. Ultimately, I went with the Lion's Mane as I saw the manuscript as something which had weaknesses that could be corrected with some rewriting.

Some factors that I thought about:
Will this be an time-travel adventure appealing to young boys and girls. Yes, I think so.

A talking cat? Yes!
Austin makes friends with Emperor Claudius? Sounds interesting (you should make it more obvious though that this is the person he befriends)

Evil people want to prevent Claudius from invading Britain? But invasion is bad right? So aren't these people good? The question is how you want to handle this sensitively. While war is bad, Austin has to ensure it happens so that his reality doesn't change.

It's not really necessary to have a pure good vs pure evil as the genre is quite sophisticated these days. Much more interesting for no one to really be good or evil.

Tree said...

Dear Author:
I want to thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. Unfortunately, I did not connect well enough with your project to pursue it further. As I'm sure you know, agenting is a very subjective business. Although your project didn't fit with my particular list, another agent may respond very differently.
Please accept my best wishes for success in your writing career and finding the perfect advocate for your work.
Sincerely,
Tree

Sun Up said...

Thanks for the submission, unfortunately I am not accepting YA at this time. Best of luck to you.


Alicia

Janeal C. Falor said...

Thank you for the opportunity to look at you work. Unfortunately, I don't feel this is the right project for me.

Laurie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I have decided to decline representing you for this manuscript.

I think you have a very compelling story line and you made it to the second round in my consideration. The only reason I am declining is the mandatory limit of only accepting five manuscripts.

Best of luck to you! I'm sure you will find representation soon.

Laurie

Sophie W. said...

Dear Author of The Lion's Mane,

Although your work shows merit, I cannot request further materials at this time. Keep in mind that this business is terribly subjective, and you'll probably get the chance to thumb your nose at me in the future.

Love,

Sophie

Lipstick Lizzie said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for the chance to look at your work. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m the right agent for this project.

Best of luck,
Lizzie

Venus Vaughn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, your project doesn't meet my needs at this time.
Best of luck to you in your writing career.

~Venus Vaughn

Kats said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but The Lion's Mane is not the right project for me. Good luck!

Best,
Agent for a Day, Kats

Maryann Miller said...

Thanks for thinking of our agency for your project. I am interested in possibly representing the book, so please send the first 50 pages. You can submit electronically to save a tree.

Amethyst Greye Alexander said...

Dear Author,

Despite choosing to pass on this project I did find the premise very exciting. It's only because the project does not fit with my current needs I'm no requesting a sample. Please feel free to query again in six months if you are still without representation (though I feel you may very well have hooked an agent by then).

Thank you for considering me.
Amethyst Adams

Anonymous said...

Form Rejection.

Agent DC

Wandering Spirit said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Unfortunately your book is not of a genre that I am best suited to represent. However, all writing is of value and I wish you the best in your endeavours.

Best wishes

Agent for a Day

Bertha Lavelle said...

Dear Author,
I liked your query, but I think you would be better served by an agent who specialises in young adult fantasy, not an area I'm familiar with.
Good luck and all the best,
Bertha

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for letting me consider your project. Unfortunately, it is not quite right for my list. I must therefore step aside and encourage you to submit elsewhere.

Best,
Agent

PS - I'd add the word count.

I'd also cut the vacation in Turkey bit, as it's backstory. Start when he goes back in time.

Patti K. said...

Thank you for your submission but I do not believe it is right for me at this time. Good luck on your quest for the perfect agent.

Patti K.

Larry Writer said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, unfortunately this is not the right project for me.
The story has some merit, but the talking cat and all the action proceeding the time travel seems a bit over the top. Another agent may view it differently.

Best regards,

Larry

Sara Cox Landolt said...

Dear Author,
I received and read your query. I'm going to pass. Maybe you could start with the cat speaking, or something stronger in your query?
Best to you,
Agent SCL

Brenda said...

Dear Author,
I am interested in your novel, The Lion's Mane.
I am hoping your completed ms. will explain the history of the invasion by the Romans into early England as a necessary evil because. . . and not just so Austin can be born.
Please send the first three chapters and a full outline.
Thank you,
B

Savannah Pens said...

Dear Author: Thank you for your query. I was intrigued by your premise. However, you did not include your word count and the hero seems a bit young for the plot. Best wishes. Savannah Pens Agent

Lupina said...

Please send me the first 30 pages of The Lion's Mane for further consideration.

The Lupina Agency

Lois Lavrisa said...

Dear Author,

While I appreciate your consideration of our agency, I will have to pass on your project. Your query left out word count, amongst other information that would help in my decision.

As it stands now, I am sorry to say I did not have the passionate response to it that I would need to request more or offer you representation. Obviously you want an agent who will stand enthusiastically behind your work.

Additionally, given today’s publishing climate I do not believe I would be able to get you the attention from a publisher that your book deserves.

Publishing is very subjective, though, and another agent may well feel differently.

I do wish you success in finding representation and, once again, thank you for the opportunity to consider your work.

Sincerely,

Lois Lavrisa
Agent for a day

The Writers Canvas said...

Thanks for your submission. At the present time, it doesn't fit our list. I wish you the best with another agent who might be a better fit.

Elaine

Lucy said...

Dear Author: Thank you for contacting us. Unfortunately, we do not feel that we are a suitable agency to represent your work. We wish you every success in your search for an agent. Sincerely, L. C.

Maricar said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. However, your work does not fit our needs at this time. Best of luck.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Raven56 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying "Agent for a Day" Agency. Unfortunately, we do not feel this story is a good fit for our list at this time. We encourage you to continue querying other agents.

Best of luck,

Raven56

Marilyn Peake said...

Dear Author of THE LION'S MANE:

Thank you for your query. I regret to inform you that I cannot offer you representation at this time. Please do not in any way interpret this as meaning that your book doesn’t have merit or that you should give up on writing. Follow your dreams. I wish you all the best in your search for a literary agent.

Sincerely,
Writerly Angst Literary Agent

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank your for your interest in our agency. I found the idea compelling but could not stop wondering how ancient Britons made it to Turkey or even had the concept of Summer and Vacation. I would be interested in seeing a synopsis that might clarify these issues. Please keep us in mind for other projects you may have in future.

Sincerely,

Agent.

(I was really tempted on this one).

Annalee said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your manuscript. I'm afraid it isn't right for me.

Regards,
-Annalee

-----------
Reason: This almost made the maybe pile, but I found the query too vague to really assess the story. Who are these evil forces, and what do they want? Why are they trying to rewrite history? I don't get enough of a sense of them, and therefore of the central conflict.

Also, I would cut the whole "themes" paragraph, as it only restates things you've already said. Put that space to better use describing the story in greater detail.

Just_Me said...

This is going on my MAYBE list while I finish reading queries. I'm not a huge MG fan but I love the idea of a cat companion and time travel.

There are a few awkward phrases for me that suggest I might have to do a little more work with editing, and that's what's keeping you on the fence.

I'll know more in 42 more queries. :o)

Horserider said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for allowing us to consider your work. I’m sorry to say that this is not something we are interested in at this time. We receive hundreds of submissions every week and, unfortunately, cannot take them all on. This is a very subjective business and I wish you luck on your journey to publication.

Sincerely,

Horserider Literary Agency

Audrey E said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for query. I'm afraid that this piece isn't right for me and I will have to pass at this time.

Yours,
Audrey

TFree said...

Thank you for considering me. Unfortunately, this piece isn’t right for me at this time. Good luck with this and future endeavors.

TF

Tamara said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I wish you the best of luck finding a home for this project, but after consideration, I have to say it's not for me.

Best wishes,
Agent for a Day
(Tamara)

super agent nicole said...

Dear author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Unfortunately, I am unable to offer representation at this time.

Thank you,
Nicole

Newbee said...

Dear Author,

This book sounds like something I would be interested in. Please feel free to send out a partial for further review.

Thanks,

Jen

sKim said...

Thank you for sending this original proposal. We regret that it doesn't suit our needs at the moment. Best of luck to you.

Diana said...

This was a nice query and I was very tempted to request this, but I keep remembering that I can only request five manuscripts. (I forgot about that rule, and now I'm posting right after Derek, and not trying to let his choices influence mine). Anyway, some issues I thought of were:
(A) Is this too short for a normal query? Who knows.
(B) Your character is 12 years old, so I'm assuming that readers will be 12 or younger. So, my question was how many 12-year-old boys really want to read about Ephesus, unless you can point out some details like there were many bloody rituals in Ephesus, or evil Olympian gods who could do cool things. Which, I guess were all kind of mentioned, but not really too specifically. Am I just being prejudiced about Ephesus being a boring choice of ancient locale? Since it's kind of an unusual choice, maybe you want to point why you chose it, and also, along the way, emphasize its uniqueness.
and (c) There are no lions mentioned in the query to explain your title.

Hope that is helpful. Do not mean to sound snide.

Taymalin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this story is not for me at this time. Best of luck with your future endeavors,

Taymalin

The Classic Carol said...

Dear Author of THE LION'S MANE:
Please re-query according to my posted submission guidelines including word count. Thank you.

SGF said...

Dear Author,
Yes! I like the idea. Please send me the first 50 pages.
Regards,
SGF

Jeannie said...

Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately your project is not what we’re looking to represent at this time. Best of luck.
- Jeannie

00 Pisces said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to turn down your project. Good luck!

00Pisces

M. K. Clarke said...

Dear Author --

Thanks for letting me consider your project. Unfortunately, it is not quite right for my list. I must therefore step aside and encourage you to submit elsewhere.

~MKC,
Agent for a Day

ros said...

I'd like to see a partial for this one, please. I like the premise of the story but the execution is critical in stories of this kind that mix contemporary with historical setting, especially if you're going to throw in a magical cat. But I think there could be a market for this. Well done!

Elizabeth said...

Dear Author,

While your story shows promise, as described I see structural, believability flaws. Even in fantasy, something cannot be merely because the author wishes it.

I must regretfully pass.

Best Regards,

Agent Elizabeth

Shawntelle said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission today. I am afraid I must pass since the premise didn't grab me. Good luck in seeking representation.

Sincerely,

Shawntelle

Thermocline said...

Thank you for your query. I do not believe I am the best agent for your project. I wish you the best with finding a home for your novel.

(I’m just not sure about the blend of magic and a historical event. Plus, how long is your manuscript?)

bveggie said...

Dear Author,
Please send me the full manuscript.

Aimless Writer said...

I'd have to take a peek at a few chapters of this one.

Rachel said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I am going to pass. I wish you luck finding representation.

Kristin said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query; however, I am sorry to say that I will not be pursuing it any further. It does not fit my list at this time, but there are many agents out there and I would encourage you to continue submitting to those who rep your genre.
Regards,
KM

Professor I.M. Diphthong said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately this is not what I am looking for.

Professor I.M. Diphthong said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately this is not what I am looking for at this time.

Marybeth said...

Dear Author,

I regret to inform you that I am unable to represent your manuscript. Unfortunately I am not interested in this genre. Best of luck to you in the future.

Sincerely,
Marybeth

Anonymous said...

Writer,
Thank you for your query, though I don’t think I’m interested in taking your story idea. Keep on writing.
-Thanks,
Suzuki Volkeswagon

Janny said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me with THE LION'S MANE. While I enjoy the concept and premise you've put forth, I find there are several elements of your plot that strain credibility a bit--such as a 12-year-old boy being able to "fall in love" and influence an emperor. Perhaps if the boy were older, this credibility issue would be less bothersome; in any event, for this and other reasons, I'm going to take a pass on this book.

Keep in mind, however, that publishing is a very subjective business, and what doesn't work for me might well work for another agent. So I wish you good luck in submitting and placing this elsewhere!

Sincerely,
Janny

Selestial said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I'm afraid I will have to pass. Best of luck in your search.

Selestial



This made the short list for those last 2 slots, but I just couldn't get past the target age and the subject. Unless a kid is really into history, I don't think they will get into this. My son probably wouldn't.

splatter said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query for Lion's Mane to me. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pass. Though I found the premise interesting, the work isn't quite right for me. Best of luck in your search!

Reasons:
Though the query worked well, I felt like something was missing - perhaps I thought it anachronistic that a twelve year old could fall in love, successfully influence an emperor to do anything, or even get close enough to said emperor to be listened to... Maybe it's just not my personal style. :) I do think the author has a good voice though!

Agent Yard Oaf said...

Dear Author,

I want to know if the cat time-travels, too. Please send me your full manuscript.

Thanks,

Agent Yard Oaf

Tyler said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for considering me in your quest for publication; unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for your project. Best of luck in your future endeavours.
Sincerely,
Agent T

Heather Harper said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. After careful consideration, I regret that I’m unable to request your manuscript at this time.

Best,
Agent for a day

rainsinger said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Please send me the first 3 chapters as an attached word doc.

Best wishes

Rain agency

Tara Maya said...

I'd like to see more. Send a partial.

Anonymous said...

Dear Lion's Mane,

This sounds promising. Please send me a full via email.

:) Best,

Lindsey S.

Owl Sprite said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sending me your query for "The Lion's Mane." This is intriguing as a middle-grade novel, but it sounds a little too violent to sell to the general market. And I find the concept of "evil forces at work" to be a little unsettling. I think it would be better to stick with historical fantasy in this case, rather than inserting what sounds like something magical or otherworldly.

As well, I'm a little worried about how deeply a 12-yr-old can fall in love, and how that will be presented to the readers. It will definitely have serious consequences for the character's future, whether he ends up in the past or the present, which may be too complex for a middle-grade book.

I mean, in "Prince Caspian," Susan really didn't fall in love with Caspian as she did in the movie. C.S. Lewis wouldn't have wanted to go there, for the reasons I just mentioned.

Best wishes in your search for representation,

Sincerely,
Owl Sprite

gypsyscarlett said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.

I am intrigued.

Please send me the first three chapters.

Thank you.

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