This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here
Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!
Dear Agent for a Day:
I am seeking representation for my middle-grade historical fantasy THE LION'S MANE, centred around the time of the Roman invasion of Britain.
THE LION'S MANE features 12-year-old Austin and a magical cat named Kedi.
His parents rent a villa in Turkey for the entire summer and Austin gets set for the most boring vacation of his life, away from all his friends in England. But that's before he rescues a talking cat, witnesses a bloody ritual that causes two people to disappear, and suddenly finds himself whisked back in time. In Ephesus, nearly 2000 years in the past, he makes a new friend, falls in love – and finds an enemy. Evil forces are at work, doing their best to prevent Claudius the Emperor's invasion of Britain, and Austin has to act fast to figure out how to influence the Emperor and ensure that the invasion does take place. It's either that, or time and civilization as he knows it will never be the same.
THE LION'S MANE focuses on the themes of friendship and loyalty, as well as exploring the ideas of time travel and the day-to-day decisions we make, for good or bad, that can have far-reaching consequences. This story will appeal most to those readers who enjoy delving into worlds where young heroes fight for the triumph of good over bad.
Please let me know if you would be interested in seeing THE LION'S MANE. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Author
STATS: 16% request rate
Monday, April 13, 2009
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303 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 1 – 200 of 303 Newer› Newest»form rejection
Thanks for thinking of me, but I have to pass. Best of luck.
Dear Author,
I'm sorry, but I have maxed out on manuscript requests for today, so I must pass on this one.
Agent For A Day.
Requested #10, #12, #17, #20, #39.
Sorry, but I have to pass. I like the idea, but there are few specifics about the plot and I don't get a sense of what happens in the novel. Best of luck.
We don't handle YA fiction. Best of luck.
AgentMan
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.
All the best,
Barb
Dear author,
Thank you for your submission, The Lion's Mane. Unfortunately, it's not quite right for me. I wish you good fortune in your quest for an agent.
Sincerely,
K. Andrew Smith
Dear Author:
Thank you for your time and consideration. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent THE LION'S MANE and your career as a writer.
It's a good query, it just does suit my interests enough to make the cut.
Best wishes,
Casey
Thank you for querying me, but I'm afraid I must pass on your story. Best of luck in your continued writing endeavors.
(reason: there's nothing in here to indicate just how a 12 year old could effectively function in an ancient, foreign land, much less have any dealings with the Roman Emperor, which leads me to wonder how the accuracies of the novel as a whole play out.)
Thank you so much for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't feel I'm the right agent to represent your work.
Good luck and keep writing!
Dear Author,
Thank you for allowing me to consider The Lion's Mane. Unfortunately I must pass on it as it does not fit my needs.
Best of Luck
The Wickerman
Envelope Licker, Bransford Lit
Dear Author, thanks for your query. Unfortunately, it's not right for my list, best of luck, etc.
(A close call on this one.)
Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not what I’m looking for at this time. However, do continue to query widely. After all, it does only take one agent to say yes!
All the best,
Agent for the day
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I am going to have to pass at this time.
Good luck finding an agent who suits your needs.
Cindy
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I regret to inform you that I am going to have to pass on this, but please keep me in mind for your future projects.
Best of luck,
Kitti
Dear Author:
I don't like the title, but I'm vaguely intrigued at the allegorical possibilities suggested by having a character actively working to advance Roman Imperialism.
Why would evil forces try to STOP a military invasion? It makes it appear as though invading countries is a good thing. Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't, but it sounds like an interesting way to combine geopolitical moral relativism and magical felines.
Send it over.
Regards,
Mr. Snark
Thanks. Sorry.
Lucy A muse ision
fictitious agent
Dear Author,
Thank you for your recent query; discovering new talent is one of the joys of being a literary agent, and I am always honoured to have the opportunity to read a writer's best work.
Please accept my regrets, however, as I won't be offering to represent this novel. I apologize for informing you of this using a form letter, but the volume of mail I receive makes it impractical for me to give personalized rejections.
I wish you the very best luck in finding a literary agent whose enthusiasm will bring your book the success it deserves!
Sincerely,
J. J. DeGoblin
~~~~~~~
For your reference, here are the most common reasons why I decline certain queries. Please note that if your submission was very good, my reasons for rejecting it were probably much subtler than the items on this list and cannot be put quickly into words. Again, I apologize for this form letter, but I cannot invest the time to critique those submissions I have chosen to not represent. Thank you for your understanding.
Most common reasons why I decline manuscripts:[ ]--The manuscript is in a genre which I don't represent
[ ]--The query appears to be a non-personalized mass mailing
[ ]--The query/manuscript's presentation was worryingly unpolished
(E.g. Many spelling, grammar, punctuation or homophone errors; a non-standard format)
[ ]--The writing doesn't seem polished enough
(This improves with practice; your next novel may be excellent)
[ ]--The plot doesn't sound compelling enough
(Again, this improves with practice and self-education)
[ X ]--The plot sounds too similar to something book-buyers have already seen
Comments, if any:Although I think the historical connection could be very interesting, your query describes several elements that are arguably overused in middle grade fiction. I worry this novel might not be different enough from others on the market to be easily sold.
Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.
Best,
Brian
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but I am not the right agent for this book. Best of luck!
I am intrigued by the setting - I'd love to read more set in Ephesus. But I have some misgivings about plot points.
Robin
Dear Author,
I'm afraid that at this time I am unable to offer representation for your novel. This is purely a business decision, and unfortunately means that I must turn away many talented individuals. I encourage you to continue querying agents you think might be interested.
I appreciate your interest in Agent for A Day, and wish you every success in your writing career.
Regards,
Cassandra
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I will have to pass at this time.
Best,
Meg Spencer
Portraying the Roman Empire as a triumph of good over evil is a tricky one to pull off, particularly with Claudius, who--a quick Google search reveals--married his niece and disinherited his son. I wouldn't put that guy around a 12 year old.
Anyway, The Time Traveling Cat and the Roman Empire is a book that already exists, weirdly. https://www.infinitas.com.au/Product.php?bar=9781842706176
Thank you for your consideration, but this isn't right for me at this time.
Best of luck, Craven
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your book isn't right for me. Agenting is subjective, though, and I wish you the best of luck!
Sincerely,
Megan
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. I regret to inform you that due to the state of the industry, the poor economy, the subjective nature of books and the state of the sunspot cycle, I'm going to have to pass.
Other agents might feel differently, so please don't cry! Good luck with your future submissions.
--
Polenth
Dear Author,
Thank you for letting me review your query. Unfortunately, I don't think this is a good fit for me at this time.
Best of luck!
JJ
This sounds great on the surface, but it seems as though a young boy rooting and trying to encourage a bloody invasion - something which would have included rape, murder and enslavement of mass populations - would be a hard sell, especially for YA.
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter.
Unfortunately, your novel is not a good fit for me.
Good luck!
-Lesley
p.s. This premise seems promising, but how does this story differ from others?
Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately, this project is not right for us. Best of luck finding representation for your work.
All best.
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me.
Best,
hannah
Dear Author,
Thank you for taking the time to query. I'm afraid this isn't the right piece for me. I wish you the best of luck.
Sincerely,
Agent X
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me at this time.
Sincerely,
Amy
Dear Author,
Not my genre. Sorry!
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, but it's not for me.
Good luck!
Heather
Dear Author,
Thank you for sharing THE LION'S MANE, but I am going to pass.
Best of luck!
Barbara
This sounds interesting! Please send 30 pages to requested_partial@fakeaddress.com.
Feel free to email me for a status at the same address if you don't hear back within two weeks.
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me. I wish you luck in your search for representation.
Regards,
Suki
Reasoning: Talking cat and the falling in love at 12 both fall flat for me. Without the talking cat and as a friendship tale, it might have had more appeal. But perhaps someone else will be intrigued. Good luck.
[sorry for the delete and repost - deleted in error]
I love the title, but I'm having an impossible time selling my own MG, so I can't possibly take on someone else's at the moment.
Best of luck.
Dear Author,
For future queries I shall need to see the word count, I regret to inform you that I must reject your work and tell you that 12 year old boys do not fall in love, maybe they think they are but it is only their horomones kicking in.
Best of luck to you.
-Lea
Dear Author,
Thank you for your interest. Please send your first 50 pages via email.
Thanks and I look forward to reading them.
Merry
Dear Author,
Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid I will not be able to represent this project.
Agent99
Dear Author,
Please send the first 50 pages of your manuscript. I look forward to reading more.
Sincerely,
Agent KES
Dear Author,
Unfortunately, I am unable to offer you representation at this time. Thank you for submitting your work for consideration. Please keep me in mind for future projects.
Kindest Regards,
D. Agent
Author,
Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not right for me at this time. Good luck in your search for representation.
Agent Erin
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query. We are not in a position to represent you at this time, but wish you all the very best in your writing endeavors.
Sincerely,
PCB
Dear Author:
While the premise of this novel interests me, I am not interested in representing the work at this time. Thank you for your submission.
Best of luck,
Agent Caroline
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to the Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever. I regret that, at this time, your project is not quite what I’m looking for. I wish you the best of luck in your continuing search for representation.
Sincerely,
Jen C.
Thank you for sending me your query. I appreciate you considering me.
I reviewed your proposal and unfortunately am going to pass on representing it. Please keep in mind that this is a subjective business, and another agent may feel differently. I encourage you to query widely.
Best of luck to you.
I am thinking this is a great query. It's doesn't necessarily suit my taste in books, but it's a great query if you ask me. Short, succinct and to the point. And I feel like you have given me a good idea of what your story is about.
I think for you, it's just a matter of finding the right match.
Good Luck!
Dear Author,
Thank you for your interest in The Authors Write Literary Agency. I have reviewed your query for THE LION'S MANE, and I’m sorry to say that I do not feel that I am the best agent to represent your work at this time.
Please keep in mind that there are many talented agents out there, and opinions are subjective based on individual preferences, workload, and market climate.
Don’t be afraid to research other agents and query those that you feel are best suited to represent your work. Best of luck!
Regards,
Daley Agent for a Day
Dear Author,
Thank you for taking the time to submit.
I regret to inform you that at this time I would like to pass on your book.
Best of luck in the future,
Regards,
Agent for a Day, Bookworm Megs
Thank you for your query. I don't feel this is right for me but I wish you the best of luck.
Sincerely,
Kristi
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I'm going to pass.
Sincerely,
Bridge
On a personal note, I like the idea, but the query is too wordy. I don't get a sense of who the character is or why I should like him. I don't care about his parent's villa. Think about a hook, what is going to draw me in enough to make me want more. One sentence. Then write the query around that.
Hope thia helps,
Bridge
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me at this time.
Best of luck,
Agent for a Day
Dear Author,
I am intrigued. Please send the first three chapters to this email.
Thank you,
Agent Laura
p.s. I'm a sucker for all things time-travel. ;)
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, however, I do not feel excited enough about it to request anything further.
Good luck in your search for an agent.
Quixotic
Dear Author,
Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your work.
Best,
Agent
Dear Author:
Thank you for your interest in my agency. Unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for you at this time. Best wishes as you continue your search.
Sincerely yours,
:)Ash
Dear Author,
I am intrigued with THE LION'S MANE, and I would like to read more. Please send the first three chapters as a Word document or a PDF file.
Sincerely,
Disgruntled Literary Agent
Dear Author
Thank you for your query. Sorry, but it is not for me.
Sincerely,
Agent for the Day
Dear Author,
While this project shows merit, I'm afraid it didn't fully resonate with me. I feel sure that another agent will feel differently, and wish you the best of luck.
-Agent Pro Tempore
Dear Author:
This sounds interesting. Please send it on.
All the best,
Onovello
Dear Author:
This was a tough call but I believe I will have to pass on representation. I think it is an excellent premise but I'm not sure it will be marketable at this time.
Regards,
PC
I'd read more of this. MG, historical, fantasy, talking cat. Sounds fun.
Sounds great, but not my genre. Would recommend the book to another agent and reject with a personal note.
Dear Author,
This doesn't have that "brand new idea" feel. Cats are nice, though--pets are always good in kid lit if you ask me.
Sorry, I have to pass on this.
Signed,
PPP
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I am sorry, but I will be unable to represent you.
I wish you luck as you continue to seek representation.
Karen
Dear Author,
Thank you so much for submitting your work to me. Unfortunately, The Lion's Mane is not a good fit for me at this time. I wish you much luck in your writing endeavors.
Agent-for-a-day
Form rejection
Dear Author,
Your attempts at making ancient myths interesting to young children are admirable. Unfortunately, you are competing with Disney. I am not the right agent to represent this book.
Best regards, Leslie
Dear Ephesus Author,
Thank you for your query letter. Unfortunately, I will not be able to represent you at this time.
Sincerely,
BK
Dear Author:
Thank you for your query and I apologize for this form reply.
I regret I have to pass on many interesting projects due to time constraints. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.
Sincerely,
DeadlyAccurate
Dear Author,
Thanks for your submission, but it isn't right for me. Best of luck,
Bane
(reasoning: this is close to my heart b/c I have a time traveling story, too that involves Rome & England; however, I feel that the query doesn't provide enough substance to draw me in - I'd also like more details of this temporal soup's occurrence/incurrence - i.e., why?)
Dear Author,
Thank you for your recent submission. I regret that I am unable to offer you representation at this time. I wish you luck in your search for representation.
Regards,
Bookshop
P.S. Why no word count?
___________
(Hi! I had a couple of problems with premise here - why are they in Turkey, and how does he wind up time traveling - can't he just time travel back?
Just to note, it's wildly inaccurate to describe a 12-year-old as falling in love, and since parents are still choosing for their kids at this age, you'd want to actually consider carefully how you wrote about and presented any pre-teen crushes happening in a work of intermediate fiction.
Overall, I really needed more central conflict and but-what's-at-stake core emotion. It's got potential, but I'm not sure that the plot fits the grade level or genre;
and since time-traveling-cat has actually been done a lot already, I'm wondering if maybe you might want to revamp this so there are more plot elements that feel inherent, developed from characterization, rather than superimposed as the result of sudden time jumps.
Good luck with this! :) )
Dear Author
Thank you opportunity to consider your work at Kavanaugh and Byrne’s Literary Agency.
We do not feel that are the best match with this project.
We wish you every success with this and other ventures
Flower Kavanaugh
Love the setting and the time travel part!
(Straight roads and central heating are great but maybe we could just have looked from the other side of the channel?!)
Dear Author,
I'm not sure that your intended audience will feel comfortable rooting for a character that actively seeks to ensure the invasion of a country by imperial forces. It could very well backfire. I feel it is too risky for me to take on.
Thanks.
CPK
Dear Author,
Thank you for your interest in my agency. However, I will not be requesting any further materials from you at this time. Please note that submissions are a very subjective business and my comments are not a critique on your writing ability. I strongly encourage you to continue your search for an agent and wish you all the best.
Your sincerely,
Make-believe Agency
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. I found some of the elements intriguing but ultimately feel that it's not for me. Please keep in mind that this is a very subjective business, and other agencies may have a different view.
Best of luck in your search for representation!
Sincerely,
Agent X
Dear Author,
Thank you for considering My Agency for your next project. Unfortunately, your manuscript does not fit within my needs at this time.
Thank you,
Agent For a Day.
Thank you for your submission. The premise is very interesting, but I don't feel this project is a good match for me.
Best of luck,
Katy
Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me.
I wish you the best of luck,
KC in SF
Thanks for the opportunity but I'm afraid I'll have to pass on representing this piece.
Best of luck with your writing.
~Eden
Dear Author
While I like the sound of this, I would have appreciated knowing the length.
I wish you the best of luck in finding representation elsewhere.
Best,
Cat.
Best,
Cat
Dear Author of Query #43,
Thanks for for your query. I like your story although age 12 is too young to fall in love.
I would like to see how you handle the writing so please send me the first 50 pages.
KathyF
Dear Author,
Thanks for your submission. After careful consideration, I've decided this manuscript isn't for us at this time.
Good luck with your search.
Best,
Agent For a Day
Dear Author,
thanks for your interest but unfortunately I am going to pass this time.
Sincerely,
David de Beer
This is a good idea, but I want to know what makes it different. I feel like I've read the whole "kid goes back in time and has to keep the future from changing" line before. Like, what's in it for Austin? What does he learn (don't tell it, show it)?
I'm sorry, but this isn't right for me. Thank you for submitting and good luck.
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. However, your work does not meet our current needs. We wish you luck in your future endeavors.
Sincerely,
Tally
(Note: normally I enjoy fiction involving the Roman Empire. However, the author takes too much liberty with history for me to find the book a credible attempt at portraying the Roman empire. The vast distance between Turkey and Britain at the time made summer holidays extremely impractical, and that is just the first of the query's flaws).
Thank you for your query. I am not interested in further materials on this work. Good luck with your search for representation. CJK
Sorry, form rejection.
There just wasn't anything to hook me.
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, but unfortunately this project isn't right for me. Best of luck in your search for representation.
Sincerely,
Melinda
Dear Author:
I'm going to have to pass. I like the sound of your story and think your query is well-written, but I got hung up on this part:
This story will appeal most to those readers who enjoy delving into worlds where young heroes fight for the triumph of good over bad.
I think the whole good versus bad thing, with clear-cut lines, is too overdone in fantasy. Your character is trying to encourage an invasion of Britain; I think that's bad for some people.
-Agent
Dear The Lion's Mane,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, the story does not seem quite right for me.
Best of luck,
Renee
Dear Lion's Mane,
The novel sounds promising, but I don't feel it will stand out enough in the market. Another agent may feel differently.
Thanks,
Sage
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. While aspects of this story are intriguing, this story is not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your continued efforts. Please keep in mind that other agents are different.
-- As soon as I read talking cat, I wanted to request this. But there isn't enough character or plot for me. I also have issue with the age & falling in love.
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your manuscript, but I don't think I'm the right agent for it. Best of luck.
Dear Author,
Thank you for contacting Selene Literary. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that this project is not right for us. We wish you the best of luck in finding an agent that is as enthusiastic about this book as it deserves.
Best regards,
Selene Da Agent
Selene Literary
I'd pass.
Reason: The query needs a lot more focus. I get a sense of setting, but little sense of story.
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query.
I found aspects of your story very intriguing, however I am not convinced that it is the right project for me.
I’m sure your project will find a home somewhere.
Best of luck to you
-Nay
Dear Lion's Mane,
Thank you for your query. I sincerely appreciate the opportunity to review your proposal, and found the premise for your manuscript intriguing. However, I’m afraid that the manuscript does not meet my needs at this time. Please do continue to send your work to other agents, as someone else may feel differently.
Best of luck in your publishing endeavors,
Jeni
Dear Author #43
Looks like an interesting story.
Send me the first chapter so that I can take a call.
Regards
Dear Author:
I'm sorry, but I'm not the right agent for this book.
Notes: It boiled down to the fact that I've now read through all 50 queries, have 2 slots left, and 7 remaining books I like.
In the end it was just personal preference for the other stories. So sorry. Your query really is quite good.
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I don't typically represent this genre.
All the best in your search for representation.
Kind regards,
Sol Nima
Dear Author
Thank you for sending me your query. I regret to inform you that it does not suit the needs of my list at this time.
Regards, Jessumby
I liked this one a lot.
Send me a full.
Dear The Lion's Mane,
Thank you for your submission, but unfortunately it’s not for me. Publishing is a very subjective business, though, and another agent may feel differently. Best of luck in your continued search.
Much of your query is too vague and a bit cliche. I think the story has promise, but try to rework the query so it sounds more like your voice.
Yours,
Kat Brauer
o
Dear Author,
While it seems like an interesting premise for a book, I'm sorry to say that I cannot take on the project. Thank you for considering me, and best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
Thin
Thank you for sending me your query. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.
I like the concept. I think it's an interesting take on how he's ENCOURAGING the invasion. Some aspects seem like they might be too mature for a 12 year to understand, but send me the full. I'd love to take a look and see how it folds out.
Dear Author:
This project sounds promising, and I’m interesting in learning more about it. At your earliest convenience will you please forward to me by email 20-30 sample pages (rounding off to the nearest chapter break)? Please put “Requested material” in the subject line, and I’ll read it and get back to you as soon as my schedule allows. Thank you for your query, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours truly,
RW
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. I was intrigued by your query however at this time my client list is full. Please continue to seek representation. You are on the right track.
I wish you luck on your writing journey.
Sincerely,
KDrausin
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. I am afraid that your work is not right for me at this time, however I would urge you to continue to submit to other agents: this is a subjective business.
Agent
Thank you for your submission but it doesn't seem right for me at this time.
Good luck in the future.
I completely agree with jimnduncan.
Thank you for telling me about your book. I'd like to see if the writing engages me, so please cut and paste the first five pages of the manuscript into the body of an email, and I'll take a look.
Sincerely,
Ms Agent Agency
Thanks for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I don't feel I am the agent to represent this work.
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to Moth's Literary Agency. While your story sounds interesting, I'm afraid it's just not right for us. Best of luck in your writing career.
Sincerely,
Moth
Dear The Lion's Mane:
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately your book is not right for me but another agent may feel differently. Best of luck,
Lisa R
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not believe I am the best agent to represent your manuscript. Best of luck in your quest for publication.
Dear Author,
Thank you for thnkig of me, but I'm going to have to pass. Best of luck finding another agent!
Sincerely, Agent Faux
Dear Author,
Thanks for giving me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, it's not something I think I can sell at present. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.
Dear Lion's Mane,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not think I am the right person for this book. I wish you success in your search for representation.
Best,
Dara
Specifics: A little confused as to how a 12 year old would know how to navigate through the past, especially during that time, and what influence he would have.
I really like this story idea. All things equal, I would request this, but I'm trying to uncover the queries I think led to published works. Query #2 edged you out, but I do think a lot of your pitch.
I think that with the love story it would b better to change the boy's age to 16.
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query. I find Claudius, British Rome, and time travel intriguing; please send me the first fifty pages of your manuscript via email.
Yours Truly,
AftD
Comments: The talking cat and "good versus evil" almost lost me, but I'm *so* curious to know how you handle the Romans in general and Claudius, the epileptic, stuttering emperor, in particular. Also, I happen to think twelve-year-olds *can* and do fall in love (and yes, I am an adult).
Dear Author(s),
Your query quality is very poor and must be changed so that I can read it before I can even consider looking any work of yours, as promising as that may be. Please change your query to that it matches the submission guidelines posted.
Until then,
JuJu
(remember to include the word count)
Form rejection.
How does a 12 yr old know the invasion has to take place? That stops me from requesting pages.
Dear Author,
Please send your mss, The Lions Mane as an attachment. I look forward to reading more.
Agent RLS
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not believe I am the best person to represent your work.
Dear Author;
Form rejection.
Cordially,
Agent Gregory
[The query isn't bad. In fact, it comes closer to showing, not telling, than most. Good job. You also try to throw in an interesting twist. The hero is TRYING to start a war! Nice. Being a techno-dweeb, I get hung up with obvious paradoxes. In this case, the time travel paradox is more blatant than in other works. Here, the only way the present can exist as it does (apparently), is if someone can go back and makes it happen. But it already unfolded the way it did before that someone (required to go back) existed! So the hero is a redundancy. Oh well. I know. Fantasy. But, those things bug me. The usual goal is to CHANGE the future, not preserve it, and that of course suffers from the same paradox. But it's a little more subtle. So, I don't know. This one is interesting, but the paradox rather powerfully negates the premise, at least for me.]
Dear Author
I was intrigued by your query and would be interested in looking at a partial of your manuscript. If you could send me the first 50 or so pages, I'll be glad to review it and give you a timely response.
Best Regards,
Agent
Dear Author,
Thanks for your query and I'll like to read a partial. Please send me the first 50 pages, accompanied with a detailed synopsis. These should be in standard manuscript formatting.
Regards,
Soratian
(Comments: This was neck and neck with #40 Becoming Emily Novak for my final vote. Ultimately, I went with the Lion's Mane as I saw the manuscript as something which had weaknesses that could be corrected with some rewriting.
Some factors that I thought about:
Will this be an time-travel adventure appealing to young boys and girls. Yes, I think so.
A talking cat? Yes!
Austin makes friends with Emperor Claudius? Sounds interesting (you should make it more obvious though that this is the person he befriends)
Evil people want to prevent Claudius from invading Britain? But invasion is bad right? So aren't these people good? The question is how you want to handle this sensitively. While war is bad, Austin has to ensure it happens so that his reality doesn't change.
It's not really necessary to have a pure good vs pure evil as the genre is quite sophisticated these days. Much more interesting for no one to really be good or evil.
Dear Author:
I want to thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. Unfortunately, I did not connect well enough with your project to pursue it further. As I'm sure you know, agenting is a very subjective business. Although your project didn't fit with my particular list, another agent may respond very differently.
Please accept my best wishes for success in your writing career and finding the perfect advocate for your work.
Sincerely,
Tree
Thanks for the submission, unfortunately I am not accepting YA at this time. Best of luck to you.
Alicia
Thank you for the opportunity to look at you work. Unfortunately, I don't feel this is the right project for me.
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I have decided to decline representing you for this manuscript.
I think you have a very compelling story line and you made it to the second round in my consideration. The only reason I am declining is the mandatory limit of only accepting five manuscripts.
Best of luck to you! I'm sure you will find representation soon.
Laurie
Dear Author of The Lion's Mane,
Although your work shows merit, I cannot request further materials at this time. Keep in mind that this business is terribly subjective, and you'll probably get the chance to thumb your nose at me in the future.
Love,
Sophie
Dear Author,
Thanks for the chance to look at your work. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m the right agent for this project.
Best of luck,
Lizzie
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, your project doesn't meet my needs at this time.
Best of luck to you in your writing career.
~Venus Vaughn
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, but The Lion's Mane is not the right project for me. Good luck!
Best,
Agent for a Day, Kats
Thanks for thinking of our agency for your project. I am interested in possibly representing the book, so please send the first 50 pages. You can submit electronically to save a tree.
Dear Author,
Despite choosing to pass on this project I did find the premise very exciting. It's only because the project does not fit with my current needs I'm no requesting a sample. Please feel free to query again in six months if you are still without representation (though I feel you may very well have hooked an agent by then).
Thank you for considering me.
Amethyst Adams
Form Rejection.
Agent DC
Dear Author,
Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Unfortunately your book is not of a genre that I am best suited to represent. However, all writing is of value and I wish you the best in your endeavours.
Best wishes
Agent for a Day
Dear Author,
I liked your query, but I think you would be better served by an agent who specialises in young adult fantasy, not an area I'm familiar with.
Good luck and all the best,
Bertha
Dear Author,
Thanks for letting me consider your project. Unfortunately, it is not quite right for my list. I must therefore step aside and encourage you to submit elsewhere.
Best,
Agent
PS - I'd add the word count.
I'd also cut the vacation in Turkey bit, as it's backstory. Start when he goes back in time.
Thank you for your submission but I do not believe it is right for me at this time. Good luck on your quest for the perfect agent.
Patti K.
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, unfortunately this is not the right project for me.
The story has some merit, but the talking cat and all the action proceeding the time travel seems a bit over the top. Another agent may view it differently.
Best regards,
Larry
Dear Author,
I received and read your query. I'm going to pass. Maybe you could start with the cat speaking, or something stronger in your query?
Best to you,
Agent SCL
Dear Author,
I am interested in your novel, The Lion's Mane.
I am hoping your completed ms. will explain the history of the invasion by the Romans into early England as a necessary evil because. . . and not just so Austin can be born.
Please send the first three chapters and a full outline.
Thank you,
B
Dear Author: Thank you for your query. I was intrigued by your premise. However, you did not include your word count and the hero seems a bit young for the plot. Best wishes. Savannah Pens Agent
Please send me the first 30 pages of The Lion's Mane for further consideration.
The Lupina Agency
Dear Author,
While I appreciate your consideration of our agency, I will have to pass on your project. Your query left out word count, amongst other information that would help in my decision.
As it stands now, I am sorry to say I did not have the passionate response to it that I would need to request more or offer you representation. Obviously you want an agent who will stand enthusiastically behind your work.
Additionally, given today’s publishing climate I do not believe I would be able to get you the attention from a publisher that your book deserves.
Publishing is very subjective, though, and another agent may well feel differently.
I do wish you success in finding representation and, once again, thank you for the opportunity to consider your work.
Sincerely,
Lois Lavrisa
Agent for a day
Thanks for your submission. At the present time, it doesn't fit our list. I wish you the best with another agent who might be a better fit.
Elaine
Dear Author: Thank you for contacting us. Unfortunately, we do not feel that we are a suitable agency to represent your work. We wish you every success in your search for an agent. Sincerely, L. C.
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. However, your work does not fit our needs at this time. Best of luck.
Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid this isn't right for me.
Dear Author,
Thank you for querying "Agent for a Day" Agency. Unfortunately, we do not feel this story is a good fit for our list at this time. We encourage you to continue querying other agents.
Best of luck,
Raven56
Dear Author of THE LION'S MANE:
Thank you for your query. I regret to inform you that I cannot offer you representation at this time. Please do not in any way interpret this as meaning that your book doesn’t have merit or that you should give up on writing. Follow your dreams. I wish you all the best in your search for a literary agent.
Sincerely,
Writerly Angst Literary Agent
Dear Author,
Thank your for your interest in our agency. I found the idea compelling but could not stop wondering how ancient Britons made it to Turkey or even had the concept of Summer and Vacation. I would be interested in seeing a synopsis that might clarify these issues. Please keep us in mind for other projects you may have in future.
Sincerely,
Agent.
(I was really tempted on this one).
Dear Author,
Thank you for the opportunity to consider your manuscript. I'm afraid it isn't right for me.
Regards,
-Annalee
-----------
Reason: This almost made the maybe pile, but I found the query too vague to really assess the story. Who are these evil forces, and what do they want? Why are they trying to rewrite history? I don't get enough of a sense of them, and therefore of the central conflict.
Also, I would cut the whole "themes" paragraph, as it only restates things you've already said. Put that space to better use describing the story in greater detail.
This is going on my MAYBE list while I finish reading queries. I'm not a huge MG fan but I love the idea of a cat companion and time travel.
There are a few awkward phrases for me that suggest I might have to do a little more work with editing, and that's what's keeping you on the fence.
I'll know more in 42 more queries. :o)
Dear Author:
Thank you for allowing us to consider your work. I’m sorry to say that this is not something we are interested in at this time. We receive hundreds of submissions every week and, unfortunately, cannot take them all on. This is a very subjective business and I wish you luck on your journey to publication.
Sincerely,
Horserider Literary Agency
Dear Author,
Thank you for query. I'm afraid that this piece isn't right for me and I will have to pass at this time.
Yours,
Audrey
Thank you for considering me. Unfortunately, this piece isn’t right for me at this time. Good luck with this and future endeavors.
TF
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I wish you the best of luck finding a home for this project, but after consideration, I have to say it's not for me.
Best wishes,
Agent for a Day
(Tamara)
Dear author,
Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Unfortunately, I am unable to offer representation at this time.
Thank you,
Nicole
Dear Author,
This book sounds like something I would be interested in. Please feel free to send out a partial for further review.
Thanks,
Jen
Thank you for sending this original proposal. We regret that it doesn't suit our needs at the moment. Best of luck to you.
This was a nice query and I was very tempted to request this, but I keep remembering that I can only request five manuscripts. (I forgot about that rule, and now I'm posting right after Derek, and not trying to let his choices influence mine). Anyway, some issues I thought of were:
(A) Is this too short for a normal query? Who knows.
(B) Your character is 12 years old, so I'm assuming that readers will be 12 or younger. So, my question was how many 12-year-old boys really want to read about Ephesus, unless you can point out some details like there were many bloody rituals in Ephesus, or evil Olympian gods who could do cool things. Which, I guess were all kind of mentioned, but not really too specifically. Am I just being prejudiced about Ephesus being a boring choice of ancient locale? Since it's kind of an unusual choice, maybe you want to point why you chose it, and also, along the way, emphasize its uniqueness.
and (c) There are no lions mentioned in the query to explain your title.
Hope that is helpful. Do not mean to sound snide.
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission, but this story is not for me at this time. Best of luck with your future endeavors,
Taymalin
Dear Author of THE LION'S MANE:
Please re-query according to my posted submission guidelines including word count. Thank you.
Dear Author,
Yes! I like the idea. Please send me the first 50 pages.
Regards,
SGF
Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately your project is not what we’re looking to represent at this time. Best of luck.
- Jeannie
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to turn down your project. Good luck!
00Pisces
Dear Author --
Thanks for letting me consider your project. Unfortunately, it is not quite right for my list. I must therefore step aside and encourage you to submit elsewhere.
~MKC,
Agent for a Day
I'd like to see a partial for this one, please. I like the premise of the story but the execution is critical in stories of this kind that mix contemporary with historical setting, especially if you're going to throw in a magical cat. But I think there could be a market for this. Well done!
Dear Author,
While your story shows promise, as described I see structural, believability flaws. Even in fantasy, something cannot be merely because the author wishes it.
I must regretfully pass.
Best Regards,
Agent Elizabeth
Dear Author,
Thanks for your submission today. I am afraid I must pass since the premise didn't grab me. Good luck in seeking representation.
Sincerely,
Shawntelle
Thank you for your query. I do not believe I am the best agent for your project. I wish you the best with finding a home for your novel.
(I’m just not sure about the blend of magic and a historical event. Plus, how long is your manuscript?)
Dear Author,
Please send me the full manuscript.
I'd have to take a peek at a few chapters of this one.
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I am going to pass. I wish you luck finding representation.
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query; however, I am sorry to say that I will not be pursuing it any further. It does not fit my list at this time, but there are many agents out there and I would encourage you to continue submitting to those who rep your genre.
Regards,
KM
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately this is not what I am looking for.
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately this is not what I am looking for at this time.
Dear Author,
I regret to inform you that I am unable to represent your manuscript. Unfortunately I am not interested in this genre. Best of luck to you in the future.
Sincerely,
Marybeth
Writer,
Thank you for your query, though I don’t think I’m interested in taking your story idea. Keep on writing.
-Thanks,
Suzuki Volkeswagon
Dear Author,
Thank you for querying me with THE LION'S MANE. While I enjoy the concept and premise you've put forth, I find there are several elements of your plot that strain credibility a bit--such as a 12-year-old boy being able to "fall in love" and influence an emperor. Perhaps if the boy were older, this credibility issue would be less bothersome; in any event, for this and other reasons, I'm going to take a pass on this book.
Keep in mind, however, that publishing is a very subjective business, and what doesn't work for me might well work for another agent. So I wish you good luck in submitting and placing this elsewhere!
Sincerely,
Janny
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. I'm afraid I will have to pass. Best of luck in your search.
Selestial
This made the short list for those last 2 slots, but I just couldn't get past the target age and the subject. Unless a kid is really into history, I don't think they will get into this. My son probably wouldn't.
Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query for Lion's Mane to me. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pass. Though I found the premise interesting, the work isn't quite right for me. Best of luck in your search!
Reasons:
Though the query worked well, I felt like something was missing - perhaps I thought it anachronistic that a twelve year old could fall in love, successfully influence an emperor to do anything, or even get close enough to said emperor to be listened to... Maybe it's just not my personal style. :) I do think the author has a good voice though!
Dear Author,
I want to know if the cat time-travels, too. Please send me your full manuscript.
Thanks,
Agent Yard Oaf
Dear Author,
Thank you for considering me in your quest for publication; unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for your project. Best of luck in your future endeavours.
Sincerely,
Agent T
Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. After careful consideration, I regret that I’m unable to request your manuscript at this time.
Best,
Agent for a day
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Please send me the first 3 chapters as an attached word doc.
Best wishes
Rain agency
I'd like to see more. Send a partial.
Dear Lion's Mane,
This sounds promising. Please send me a full via email.
:) Best,
Lindsey S.
Dear Author,
Thank you for sending me your query for "The Lion's Mane." This is intriguing as a middle-grade novel, but it sounds a little too violent to sell to the general market. And I find the concept of "evil forces at work" to be a little unsettling. I think it would be better to stick with historical fantasy in this case, rather than inserting what sounds like something magical or otherworldly.
As well, I'm a little worried about how deeply a 12-yr-old can fall in love, and how that will be presented to the readers. It will definitely have serious consequences for the character's future, whether he ends up in the past or the present, which may be too complex for a middle-grade book.
I mean, in "Prince Caspian," Susan really didn't fall in love with Caspian as she did in the movie. C.S. Lewis wouldn't have wanted to go there, for the reasons I just mentioned.
Best wishes in your search for representation,
Sincerely,
Owl Sprite
Dear Author,
Thank you for your query.
I am intrigued.
Please send me the first three chapters.
Thank you.
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