Nathan Bransford, Author


Monday, April 13, 2009

Be An Agent for a Day: Query #42

This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here

Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!



Dear Agent for a Day;

Not only do I follow your blog, but I also recommend it to all of the writers I meet as a necessary checkpoint before beginning the querying process. It would be an honor for you to consider my work.

Young Macs finds a magical book tucked away in his grandfather’s library entitled The Keeper. When Macs opens the book, it trembles in his hand as watercolor fairies and elves pop up and walk around on top of the pages using the book as a stage. Macs, able to interact with them, is deemed the prophesied “Keeper,” and he spends the majority of the living book’s story trying unsuccessfully to save the village’s inhabitants from danger. In the end, he watches helplessly as the characters settle in for an eternal sleep. When Macs attempts to “re-read” the book, it opens only to the closing scene, and Macs soon discovers what the title The Keeper really means.

The End is a 15,000 word mid-grade novel about a boy who, unlike Peter Pan, wants to grow up, yet he finds himself caught up in a magical world having to decide between being the hero of his own proverbial Neverland or ignoring the story in order to maintain his “cool” status.

I have a Bachelor of Arts degree in Literary Writing, and I have spent seven years both in America and abroad teaching middle and high school English. I have also published articles in a regional magazine, and I am a freelance editor for two publishing houses. I am a member of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators and the Oklahoma Writers’ Federation, Inc.

A complete manuscript is available upon request. Thank you for taking time to consider my project. I look forward to hearing from you.

Author

STATS: 6.6% request rate






309 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 309   Newer›   Newest»
Derek said...

Dear Author,

I'm sorry, but I have maxed out on manuscript requests for today, so I must pass on this one.

Agent For A Day.
Requested #10, #12, #17, #20, #39.

Agent X said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to query. I'm afraid this isn't the right piece for me. I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Agent X

Superfast said...

Thank you so much for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't feel I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Good luck and keep writing!

KathyF said...

Dear Author of Query #42,

Thank you for your query, but THE END isn't right for me.

KathyF

thelifter said...

Dear Author:

You left out the part where he rides a Luck Dragon.

Pass.

Regards,

Mr. Snark

jimnduncan said...

Thank you for querying me, but I'm afraid I must pass on your story. While an interesting premise, I feel the story will lack what's needed for a middle grade story at 15,000 words. If this story is fleshed out to a more appropriate length, feel free to resubmit your query.

selestial-owg said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately your novel doesn't resonate with me as much as I would like, and I'll have to pass. Best of luck with your search.

Selestial



15k is not a novel, I'm not even sure that is a novella. It might constitute an early chapter book (like the Magic Treehouse), but I'm not sure. With that in mind, I think the idea is too much for the 7-10 year olds who would read that type of book. Additionally, I felt like I was missing a key piece between the blurb paragraph and his decision.

Anonymous said...

Query #42 should really have been a sci-fi query. If you don't understand why, you should probably remove sci-fi from the list of genres you consider.

Monika said...

Thank you for your submission, but I do not think this project is right us. This is a subjective business and other agencies will feel differently. We wish you every success with your project.

TheDivaAgent said...

Dear Author,

Every submission is important to us. Unfortunately, we are no longer accepting new clients. We wish you the best of luck in finding an agent to represent your work.

Yours,

The Diva Agent

Bija Andrew Wright said...

I don't want to discourage you, because I can tell that you have plenty of writing talent, ambition and imagination. I believe that your career is going to take off at some point, but I don't think this is the book that will do it. Keep writing, and keep me in mind for future projects.

quixotic said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, however, I do not feel excited enough about it to request anything further.

Good luck in your search for an agent.

Quixotic

Anonymous said...

I think this sounds incredibly cute.

AgentMan said...

form rejection

Lucy A muse ision said...

Wow I love this.
Please send it on.

Thanks.

Lucy A muse ision
Fictitious Agent

reader said...

I'll have to pass.

Good luck to you.

Anonymous said...

Query #42 should really have been a sci-fi query. If you don't understand why, you should probably remove sci-fi from the list of genres you consider.

What are you talking about? Who said it wasn't fantasy?

Josephine Damian said...

15,000 words sounds seriously light in the word count dept.

Either way, form rejection.

brian_ohio said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best,

Brian

scj said...

Sorry, but I have to pass. I was intrigued reading the query and think it sounds promising, but ultimately there are not enough specifics about the plot. Best of luck.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

I'm afraid I'll have to pass on this one. I feel the word count is too low even for a Middle Grade novel.

Agent XXX

**What caught my eye: "It would be an honor for you"

I believe it should be "I would be honored if you", or "It would be an honor for me if you..."

Also, is his name Max? I just wondered about the spelling.

dhole said...

Dear Author, thanks for your query. Unfortunately, it's not right for my list, best of luck, etc.

Casey said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your time and consideration. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent THE END and your career as a writer.

Best wishes,

Casey

Barb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.

All the best,
Barb

suki said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me. I wish you luck in your search for representation.

Regards,
Suki


Reasoning: The premise and wordcount make this a pass for me. Even for MG, this is lost in a crowded fantasy market, and on the short side. Good with future books.

K. Andrew Smith said...

Dear author,

I was intrigued by your query letter for The End. Please send the first 50 pages by email, attached in Word format.


Sincerely,

K. Andrew Smith

Sasha said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I don't think I'm the right agent to represent it.

I wish you the best of luck.

Yours Truly,
AftD

jjdebenedictis said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent query; discovering new talent is one of the joys of being a literary agent, and I am always honoured to have the opportunity to read a writer's best work.

Please accept my regrets, however, as I won't be offering to represent this novel. I apologize for informing you of this using a form letter, but the volume of mail I receive makes it impractical for me to give personalized rejections.

I wish you the very best luck in finding a literary agent whose enthusiasm will bring your book the success it deserves!

Sincerely,
J. J. DeGoblin

~~~~~~~
For your reference, here are the most common reasons why I decline certain queries. Please note that if your submission was very good, my reasons for rejecting it were probably much subtler than the items on this list and cannot be put quickly into words. Again, I apologize for this form letter, but I cannot invest the time to critique those submissions I have chosen to not represent. Thank you for your understanding.


Most common reasons why I decline manuscripts:[ ]--The manuscript is in a genre which I don't represent

[ ]--The query appears to be a non-personalized mass mailing

[ ]--The query/manuscript's presentation was worryingly unpolished
(E.g. Many spelling, grammar, punctuation or homophone errors; a non-standard format)

[ ]--The writing doesn't seem polished enough
(This improves with practice; your next novel may be excellent)

[ X ]--The plot doesn't sound compelling enough
(Again, this improves with practice and self-education)

[ ]--The plot sounds too similar to something book-buyers have already seen


Comments, if any:I am sorry, but as described, the premise seems too slight to make a satisfying read. Also, based on the query, I'm unclear on how being "cool" ties in with the magic book. You may wish to polish your query letter further.

Chanelley said...

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not what I’m looking for at this time. However, do continue to query widely. After all, it does only take one agent to say yes!
All the best,
Agent for the day

Anonymous said...

Other Anonymous:

Are sci-fi and fantasy the same thing? Maybe it's just me, but Bladerunner and The Dark Crystal seem a little different to me (but both awesome).

Cindy said...

Dear Author,

I appreciate your query, however this project is not right for me at this time.

All the best,
Cindy

wickerman said...

Dear Author,

Thank your for submitting the End for my consideration. It does not fit my needs at this time.

Best of Luck

The Wickerman

Lord of the Bransford Universe

Onovello said...

Dear Author:

Many thanks for your query. While I'm not enthusiastic enough about this project to ask for it, I am sure other agents will feel differently, and I encourage you to keep looking.

With all best wishes for success in finding representation for your work,

Onovello

Cassandra said...

Dear Author,

I'm afraid that at this time I am unable to offer representation for your novel. This is purely a business decision, and unfortunately means that I must turn away many talented individuals. I encourage you to continue querying agents you think might be interested.

I appreciate your interest in Agent for A Day, and wish you every success in your writing career.



Regards,
Cassandra

Mystery Robin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I am not the right agent for this book. Best of luck! I do appreciate that you read and recommmend the blog!

Robin

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your book isn't right for me. Agenting is subjective, though, and I wish you the best of luck!

Sincerely,
Megan

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I will have to pass at this time.

Best,

Meg Spencer

Craven said...

Thank you for your consideration, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck, Craven

Jenn Johansson said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for letting me review your query. Unfortunately, I don't think this is a good fit for me at this time.

Best of luck!
JJ

lesleylsmith said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter.
Unfortunately, your novel is not a good fit for me.
Good luck!
-Lesley
p.s. This premise is promising, but I'd need a little more info about how the protagonist acts (rather than reacts) before I could request a partial. This also seems quite similar to Ink Heart.

David said...

Dear Author:

Thanks for your submission, but this doesn't sound right for me. Good luck with your writing career.

Sincerely,
David

Polenth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission and I'm glad you enjoy my blog. Your story is unusually short, even for a shorter middle grade novel. It also feels too similar to other books on the market. I'm afraid I'm going to have to pass.

This is a subjective business, so other agents might feel differently. Good luck with your future submissions.

--
Polenth

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me at this time.

Sincerely,
Amy

sraasch said...

Dear Author,

This sounds adorable! Unfortunately, MG isn't my thing.

Thanks!

Heather said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but it's not for me.

Good luck!
Heather

This seems really short, even for middle-grade. Did you mean this as an early reader, maybe?

Madison said...

Dear Author,

Thank you so much for your submission. I am interested in your project. Please mail me a hard copy of your complete manuscript. You need not include a SASE for reply as I will contact you through e-mail. Please also note that your manuscript will not be returned and should I pass it will be shredded.

I look forward to reading your work!

Sincerely,

Madison

Reason for accepting: Seems interesting, if short. Length can always be worked on, but I adore MG fantasy and this sounds like an interesting story. :)

hannah said...

Dear Author,

This was so, so close for me, but I'm afraid a lack of specifics on the plot means I'm going to have to move on.

Best wishes, and I know this will find a home.

hannah

Barbara Webb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sharing THE KEEPER, but I am going to pass on this.

Best of luck!

Barbara

Endless Secrets said...

Dear Author,

I regret to inform you that i cannot represent your work, not only has the idea been much overdone, but the word count can barely be considered a novella, perhaps you could enter it into a short story contest.

-Lea

Merry Monteleone said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Only Literary Agency Insane Enough To Trust Me With Queries. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pass.

Best of luck,

Merry

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid I am not the right agent to represent your work.

Agent99

Agent KES said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I am not able to offer you representation at this time. Best of luck,

Agent KES

Dawn G. said...

Dear Author,

Unfortunately, I am unable to offer you representation at this time. Thank you for submitting your work for consideration. Please keep me in mind for future projects.

Kindest Regards,

D. Agent

Other Lisa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately it's not what I'm looking for. Best of luck in your search for representation, and keep writing!

Sincerely,

Agent X

Cary Louisa said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission, but I don't feel the project is right for me. The project is too short.

Thanks,
Cary

EJ Lange said...

Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not right for me at this time. Good luck in your search for representation.

Agent Erin

Caroline said...

Dear Author:

The premise of your novel sounds interesting, but I feel like the word count is too low for your manuscript to be a fully developed work. Please contact me if you choose to further develop this work.

Sincerely,

Agent Caroline

PCB said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. We are not in a position to represent you at this time, but wish you all the very best in your writing endeavors.

Sincerely,
PCB

Here's why: 1) too short at 15,000 words; 2) I'm not sure how maintaining his "cool" status ties into the rest of story - you lost me there.

Colorado Writer said...

Dear Author,
Please send a full to me at blah blah. I look forward to reading your work.
Best,
Agent Name

Jen C said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to the Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever. I regret that, at this time, your project is not quite what I’m looking for. I wish you the best of luck in your continuing search for representation.
Sincerely,
Jen C.

ccallicotte4 said...

Thank you for sending me your query. I appreciate you considering me.

I reviewed your proposal and unfortunately am going to pass on representing it. Please keep in mind that this is a subjective business, and another agent may feel differently. I encourage you to query widely.

Best of luck to you.

Laurie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. While your premise is intriguing, I have to pass on your manuscript at this time.

Best of luck to you,
Laurie

Interesting plot, but seems too short.

Rick Daley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Authors Write Literary Agency. I have reviewed your query for The End, and I’m sorry to say that I do not feel that I am the best agent to represent your work at this time.

Please keep in mind that there are many talented agents out there, and opinions are subjective based on individual preferences, workload, and market climate.

Don’t be afraid to research other agents and query those that you feel are best suited to represent your work. Best of luck!

Regards,

Daley Agent for a Day

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit.

I regret to inform you that at this time I would like to pass on your book.

Best of luck in the future,

Regards,
Agent for a Day, Bookworm Megs

Christine Rose said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Although I am very intrigued by your story, the word count is far too short for a MG novel.

One you further develop the book to a more marketable size, please resubmit.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

Anonymous said...

No thank you. Best of luck in your endeavors.

-Agent Pro Tempore

Harsh Critic said...

The premise of your manuscript sounds interesting.

However, you have a grammatical error near the beginning of your query letter. The book is called The Keeper; but your sentence implies that the library is called The Keeper.

Also, 15,000 words is too short for a middle grade novel and too long for a chapter book.

Sorry, not for me.

Laura said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but the premise is not a good fit for me.

Best of luck,

Agent Laura

PurpleClover said...

Dear Author:

My apologies but I can't represent this at this time.

Regards,
PC

:)Ash said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your interest in my agency. Unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for you at this time. Best wishes as you continue your search.

Sincerely yours,

:)Ash

Author: 15,000 words is rather short, even for MG. I think most agents and editors are going to reject it based on the word count. Is it really as long as it needs to be? There's nothing of value that can be added to make it a stronger (and longer...) story?

StrugglingToMakeIt said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Best,

Agent

ikmar said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. Sorry, but it is not for me.

Sincerely,
Agent for the Day

Disgruntled Bear said...

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately I am going to have to pass at this time.
I wish you the best of luck with another agent.

Sincerely,
Agent

Tara Ryan said...

Dear Author,
Thank you so much for submitting your work to me. Unfortunately, The End is not a good fit for me at this time. I wish you much luck in your writing endeavors.
Agent-for-a-day

dfmil09 said...

Dear Author,

I would like to see the book around 60k words--then re-query

Tricia

PPP said...

Dear Author,

Something about this really caught my interest. Maybe it's because I love The Neverending Story. Maybe it's because watercolors are totally making a comeback.

However, I can't tell if this story is going to be fresh and haunting, or merely derivitive. The query was a bit confusing so I don't have a solid grasp on the plot.

As much as I like this kind of thing, I must pass for now.

Signed,
PPP

PS Kind of a cool title.

Karen said...

Dear Author of The End,

Thank you for your query. I am intrigued by your premise and would like to read more. Please send the first 30 pages of your manuscript.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Karen

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for thinking of me, your novel sounds interesting but it's not for me at this time.

Good luck with your search for an agent.

Kind regards,

amyandnick

(PS - This query put a smile on my face and seems like an idea worth pursuing. However, the length is short and the conflict isn't immediately evident. Good luck!)

ai-hua said...

Nice idea, cute, but not for me--rejection with personal note.

Jeanne Tomlin said...

Form rejection

Leslie said...

Dear Author,

We represent text driven novels which don't rely on illustration to tell the story. Unfortunately, we will not be able to represent you but wish you all the best in your publishing career.

Sincerely, Leslie

DeadlyAccurate said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your query and I apologize for this form reply.

I regret I have to pass on many interesting projects due to time constraints. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.


Sincerely,

DeadlyAccurate

(I liked this, but I've already used up my five.)

Katy said...

Thank your for your submission. However, I don't feel this project is right for me.
Best of luck,
Katy

bookshop said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent submission to our agency. While your premise shows potential, 15,000 words is not considered adequate length for intermediate fiction. I wish you luck in your search for representation. Should you choose to expand the length of your project, please feel free to query me again at a later date.

Regards,

Bookshop

____________


(Hi! As others have said, this is extremely short. In fact, the one agent who suggested the "first 50 pages" might have been snarking, because 15,000 words isn't even reliably that much!

Good luck with this - it does sound cute. :) )

Bane of Anubis said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission, but it isn't right for me. Best of luck,

Bane

(reasoning: this seems more a long short story or novella; also, the MC's name turned me off - silly, probably, but that's me)

Kavanaugh and Byrne's LA said...

Dear Author

Thank you opportunity to consider your work at Kavanaugh and Byrne’s Literary Agency.

We do not feel that are the best match with this project.
We wish you every success with this and other ventures

Flower Kavanaugh

(Paragraph two of the query letter lost me - although I really liked the concept. It seems quite brief at 15,000 words.)

Pinkie said...

Dear Author,

I will pass on this query.

CpK

Vic K said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying my agency. Unfortunately, I'm not able to offer you representation at this time. I wish you best of luck with your writing.

Regards,

Vic K.

Reason; I was intrigued by this premise, though a little concerned by a vague similiarity to The Neverending Story.

I would probably have requested pages regardless, except for the length of the submission. 15,000 words is too short in my opinion. Probably I would have suggested the writer resubmit later when the work is fleshed out a little.

Carrie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for considering My Agency for your next project. Please submit the first twenty pages at your earliest convenience.

Thank you,

Agent For a Day.

David de Beer said...

Dear Author,

thanks for your interest but unfortunately I am going to pass this time.

Sincerely,
David de Beer

KC in SF said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me.

I wish you the best of luck,

KC in SF

Eden said...

Thanks for the opportunity but I'm afraid I'll have to pass on representing this piece.

Best of luck with your writing.

~Eden

Cat Hellisen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.  Your proposal is interesting, but I don't feel that the project is quite right for me. I wish you the best of luck in finding representation elsewhere.

Best,
Cat

MK said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission. After careful consideration, I've decided this manuscript isn't for us at this time.

Good luck with your search.

Best,
Agent For a Day

Adam Heine said...

Don't be shy about the ending. What does the title mean? Without knowing what happens next, I can't request more.

I'm sorry, but this isn't right for me. Thank you for submitting and good luck.

Thomas said...

Dear Author.

Thank you for your submission. However, your project does not meet our current needs. We wish you luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,

Tally

CJK said...

Thank you for your query. I am not interested in further materials on this work. Good luck with your search for representation. CJK

romoak said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. While aspects of this story are intriguing, this story is not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your continued efforts. Please keep in mind that other agents are different.

-- Mac is easy to read, Macs - especially with s words following is really hard to read. Also, seems really short unless this is for small children.

Melinda said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but unfortunately this project isn't right for me. Best of luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,

Melinda

Madhat said...

Dear Author,

Thanks but no thanks.

-Agent

Reasons: I didn't like the kiss-up part at the beginning of your query; it was excessive, saying you send friends to the blog. I think the magic book thing is overdone. Also, this whole paragraph (one sentence!) was confusing:

The End is a 15,000 word mid-grade novel about a boy who, unlike Peter Pan, wants to grow up, yet he finds himself caught up in a magical world having to decide between being the hero of his own proverbial Neverland or ignoring the story in order to maintain his “cool” status.

Renee Collins said...

Dear The End,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, the story does not seem quite right for me.

Best of luck,

Renee

Sage said...

Dear T.E.,

The novel sounds promising, but I don't feel it will stand out enough in the market. Another agent may feel differently.

Thanks,
Sage

Melissa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your manuscript, but I don't think I'm the right agent for it. Best of luck.


Thoughts: Neat premise, but not for me.

Brigita said...

Thank you for sending me your query. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.

Nay said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.
I found aspects of your story very intriguing, however I am not convinced that it is the right project for me.
I’m sure your project will find a home somewhere.
Best of luck to you

-Nay

Annie said...

I'm interested in the genre, but I'd pass on this one. The query is well-written, but I've read a few too many books on chosen ones, magic books and (gasp) elves. I'd try to re-package the query so it brings out more original aspects.

Jeni said...

Dear Keeper,
Thank you for your query. I sincerely appreciate the opportunity to review your proposal, and found the premise for your manuscript intriguing. However, I’m afraid that the manuscript does not meet my needs at this time. Please do continue to send your work to other agents, as someone else may feel differently.
Best of luck in your publishing endeavors,
Jeni

Nixy Valentine said...

Dear Author:

I'm sorry, but I'm not the right agent for this book.

Notes: It boiled down to the fact that I've now read through all 50 queries, have 2 slots left, and 7 remaining books I like.

In the end it was just personal preference for the other stories. So sorry. Your query really is quite good.

Sol said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I don't typically represent this genre. I wish you the best in your search for representation.

Kind regards,

Sol Nima

Julie Weathers said...

Dear Author,

There were interesting points in your submission, but I’m afraid I can’t offer representation. This is a subjective business, and what appeals to one reader doesn’t always appeal to another. With my current workload, I have to be very discriminating and take on only projects I am passionate about.

I urge you to continue your quest to be published and wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

J.M. Agent

(This was a really tough one for me and I would probably request it if not for it seeming so close to NEVERENDING STORY. I don't know. If I had one more choice I would take a chance on you.)

Jessumby said...

Dear Author

Thank you for sending me your query. I regret to inform you that it does not suit the needs of my list at this time.

Regards, Jessumby

Selene said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for contacting Selene Literary. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that this project is not right for us at this time.

While you have a strong query, I simply did not fall in love with the concept.

We wish you the best of luck in finding an agent that is as enthusiastic about this book as it deserves.

Best regards,
Selene Da Agent
Selene Literary

Chris Eldin said...

15,000 words? This is on the short side, even for MG. I'd worry the story wasn't as developed as it should be.

Form rejection.

theflightytemptress said...

Dear The End,

Thank you for your submission, but unfortunately it’s not for me. Publishing is a very subjective business, though, and another agent may feel differently. Best of luck in your continued search.

Sorry, but the voice doesn't sound very Middle Grade to me.

Yours,

Kat Brauer

Getabo Publishing said...

I love the overall concept, that you include the genre and word count is positive.

Suggestions:

I want to be hooked quickly by the story, and whilst flattery is nice, it delays me getting to your story - I'd bring forward paragraph three to open with, and I'd put the blog and honor mention, in after the credits BA/ Memberships.

I'd like to know more precisely the conflicts, motivations and the ending, "discovers what the title The Keeper really means" - is that XYZ. You hint at it, "having to decide between being the hero of his own proverbial Neverland or ignoring the story in order to maintain his “cool” status" - but I would personally like to see it, (in a plot sample, X triggers Y, with resulting emotion/conflict/disaster etc) and not have you tell me that in plain words.

Title: The Keeper sounds more exciting than The End - consider using that for both the book-in-the-book and your own title?

I would potentially shorten your credits or if really worthy of mentioning, add in the names of the publications and publishing houses.

Overall, I do like it though - and perhaps has great potential to become a beautifully illustrated work, probably appealing more to girls than boys.

***
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately we do not think that your book would be a likely prospect for our list.

We regret that the large number of submissions we receive makes it impossible to offer individual comment. We believe it is more important to read and evaluate every query / submission we receive with due consideration.

We appreciate you thinking of Getabo Creative Publishing, and wish you the best of luck with your manuscript and future writing endeavors.

Sincerely.
The Editors
Getabo Creative Publishing

thin said...

o
Dear Author,
While it seems like an interesting premise for a book, I'm sorry to say that I cannot take on the project. Thank you for considering me, and best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
Thin

RW said...

Dear Author:

Thank you very much for your query. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to consider your work for representation. As you know, it’s a competitive market these days, and I don’t believe I have the right relationships to sell this project successfully. I do wish you luck in finding an agent and thank you for considering me.

Yours truly,

RW

Keri Ford said...

Thank you for submitting, but unfortunately I didn’t connect with this story idea.

Good Luck,
Keri


<><><><><><><>
This is very interesting, but there's not enough here. Instead of bringing your pitch to a close, it seems to stop suddenly and left me confused.

kdrausin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I was intrigued by your query however at this time my client list is full. Please continue to seek representation. You are on the right track.

I wish you luck on your writing journey.

Sincerely,

KDrausin

Joy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission and your interest in using me as an agent. After taking some time to consider your material, I have decided that this isn't right for me.

Best of luck in your writing endeavors,

Joy

Poppy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I am afraid that your work is not right for me at this time, however I would urge you to continue to submit to other agents: this is a subjective business.

Agent

Dale - Las Vegas said...

Thank you for your submission but it doesn't seem right for me at this time.

Good luck in the future.

Deniz Bevan said...

Thank you for your query, but I wouldn't be the right agent in this instance.
I wish you luck finding the right home for your work.
Sincerely,
Ms Agent Agency

Moth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query to Moth's Literary Agency. While your story sounds interesting, I'm afraid it's just not right for us. Best of luck in your writing career.

Sincerely,
Moth

Lisa R said...

Dear The End:

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately your project is not right for me at this time. Another agent may feel differently. Best of luck,

Lisa R

Jabez said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not believe I am the best agent to represent your manuscript. Best of luck in your quest for publication.

Sherry Ficklin said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for thnkig of me, but I'm going to have to pass. Best of luck finding another agent!

Sincerely, Agent Faux

Dara said...

Dear The End,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not think I am the right person for this book. I wish you success in your search for representation.

Best,

Dara

Specifics: Too short and the conflict doesn't seem to be clear enough in the query.

John said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for giving me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, it's not something I think I can sell at present. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.

educlaytion said...

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not for me. Good luck in the future.

Soratian said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query but I'm afraid I'll be passing on this one.

Just as advice, it appears that your word length is rather short for a novel. Your lead character also appears to be rather passive- what does he have to do to resolve the problem?

You may want to consider these factors as you continue your pitching to other agents.

Good luck!
Soratian

JuJu said...

Dear Author(s),

Your query quality is very poor and must be changed so that I can read it before I can even consider looking any work of yours, as promising as that may be. Please change your query to that it matches the submission guidelines posted.

Until then,
JuJu

(It'd make a more appropriate short story than novel)

Sarah Laurenson said...

Form rejection.


How frickin' sad. I don't do sad and this seems like a synopsis rather than a query. Is there no hope?

CarrieK said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but your project does not meet our needs at this time.

CarrieK

Gregory said...

Dear Author;

Form rejection.

Cordially,

Agent Gregory

[Lots of comments here about word count. "The Cat in the Hat" is 342 words, and took two years to write. So this might be an absolute classic. But the query doesn't suggest that. If it's brilliant, it will sell, but you need to convey some of its brilliance in the query. I'm afraid that after Harry Potter, the market is a little jaded on "living books." Still, you've got a twist in there. But you're not telling me what the conflict is. Its vague, intangible. This one might be good. Don't know. But the query doesn't adequately sell it.]

lucy in the sky said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not believe I am the best person to represent your work.

Fairduncan said...

Dear Author

Thanks for querying us. I regret I have to pass on this one, but wish you every success in finding representation.

Cordially Yours,
Agent

Tree said...

Dear Author:
I want to thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. Unfortunately, I did not connect well enough with your project to pursue it further. As I'm sure you know, agenting is a very subjective business. Although your project didn't fit with my particular list, another agent may respond very differently.
Please accept my best wishes for success in your writing career and finding the perfect advocate for your work.
Sincerely,
Tree

Savannah Pens said...

Dear Author: Thank you for your query regarding Keeper. The work is not right for my agency and I must pass. Best wishes. Savannah Pens Agent

Sun Up said...

Not currently representing this genre. Best of luck to you.

sincerely,
Alicia

Janeal C. Falor said...

Thank you for the opportunity to look at you work. Unfortunately, I don't feel this is the right project for me.

Heather Harper said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. After careful consideration, I regret that I’m unable to request your manuscript at this time.

Best,
Agent for a day

Sophie W. said...

Dear Author of The End,

Although your work shows merit, I cannot request further materials at this time. Keep in mind that this business is terribly subjective, and you'll probably get the chance to thumb your nose at me in the future.

Love,

Sophie

Kats said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query, unfortunately it's not the right project for me.

Best,
Agent for a Day, Kats

Lipstick Lizzie said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for the chance to look at your work. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m the right agent for this project.

Best of luck,
Lizzie

Venus Vaughn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, your project doesn't meet my needs at this time.
Best of luck to you in your writing career.

~Venus Vaughn

Meggrs said...

15,000 words? Really? I'm pretty sure the author told most of the story in the query paragraphs, and it still wasn't coherent.

Rejection.

Amethyst Greye Alexander said...

Dear Author,

I've reviewed your query but am afraid your project isn't a good fit with the works I represent. I hope you won't let this discourage you, however, as every agent has different tastes and you're sure to find representation that will better suit your needs.

Thank you for considering me.
Amethyst Adams

Maryann Miller said...

We regret that this is not a project that we can get enthused about. Best of luck elsewhere.

Anonymous said...

Not a good fit. Sorry,
Agent DC

Wandering Spirit said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Although your story shows potential it is unfortunately of a genre that I am not best suited to represent. However, all writing is of value and I wish you the best in your endeavours.

Best wishes

Agent for a Day

Note: I wonder if the word count is a typo? 15,000 is not enough for a novel and I don’t know how the story could be told in that few words although the premise had potential.

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for letting me consider your project. Unfortunately, it is not quite right for my list, since I don't typically read books with many fantasy elements. I must therefore step aside and encourage you to submit elsewhere.

Best,
Agent

PS - 15K seems kind of short

Bertha Lavelle said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query.
Although I found elements of it compelling, I ultimately felt that your book was not the best fit for me as an agent.
I wish you all the best in finding it a home,
Bertha

Lupina said...

Thank you but it's not for me at this time.

Patti K. said...

Thank you for your submission but it is not right for me at this time. Good luck on your quest for an agent.

Patti K.

Larry Writer said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, unfortunately The End is not the right project for me. The word count is very low. The basic idea behind the story has great merit, but I believe there must be more of a storyline to make this publishable.

Best regards,

Larry

Sara Cox Landolt said...

Dear Author,
I received and read your query. I'm going to pass.
Best to you,
Agent SCL

Lois Lavrisa said...

Dear Author,

While I appreciate your consideration of our agency, I will have to pass on your project. You may want to try publications that specialize in short stories, as you have a good idea.

As it stands now, I am sorry to say I did not have the passionate response to it that I would need to request more or offer you representation. Obviously you want an agent who will stand enthusiastically behind your work.

Additionally, given today’s publishing climate I do not believe I would be able to get you the attention from a publisher that your book deserves.

Publishing is very subjective, though, and another agent may well feel differently.

I do wish you success in finding representation and, once again, thank you for the opportunity to consider your work.

Sincerely,

Lois Lavrisa
Agent for a day

The Writers Canvas said...

Thanks for your submission. At the present time, it doesn't fit our list. I wish you the best with another agent who might be a better fit.

Elaine

Lucy said...

Dear Author: Thank you for contacting us. Unfortunately, we do not feel that we are a suitable agency to represent your work. We wish you every success in your search for an agent. Sincerely, L. C.

Maricar said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. However, your work does not fit our needs at this time. Best of luck.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Raven56 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying "Agent for a Day" Agency. Unfortunately, we do not feel this story is a good fit for our list at this time. We encourage you to continue querying other agents.

Best of luck,

Raven56

cwsherwoodedits said...

Thank you for your query. I'm going to have to pass.

KareFree Kennels said...

Sorry, not for me.

Best of luck,
Sheryl

Annalee said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your manuscript. I'm afraid it isn't right for me.

Regards,
-Annalee

-----------
Reason: This query is vague in the wrong places. I can't figure out the central conflict (the bit about popularity seems kind of jammed in, and don't understand the MC's stake in the book-world). I admit to some ignorance on the MG market, but 15k sounds short.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank your for your interest in our agency. However, I'm afraid this isn't quite right for us. Best of luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,

Agent.

(I found the query rather passive, but also, up to the apparent conclusion, EXACTLY the same story as a YA series from 2-3 years ago. The query didn't strike me as focused enough to, in fact, be this series, thus the pass.)

Just_Me said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Your novel sounds intriguing but at this time does not suit our list. We wish you the best of luck placing it with another agency.

Sincerely,
Agent


Note: Nothing about this jumped out and said "READ ME!" I'm not a huge MG fan, but this still isn't something I can see me picking up for my kids. It sounds depressing. I'd try to emphasize the positive, not the fact that the hero fails.

Horserider said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for allowing us to consider your work. I’m sorry to say that this is not something we are interested in at this time. We receive hundreds of submissions every week and, unfortunately, cannot take them all on. This is a very subjective business and I wish you luck on your journey to publication.

Sincerely,

Horserider Literary Agency

Audrey E said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for query. I'm afraid that this piece isn't right for me and I will have to pass at this time.

Yours,
Audrey

Tamara said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I wish you the best of luck finding a home for this project, but after consideration, I have to say it's not for me.

Best wishes,
Agent for a Day
(Tamara)

super agent nicole said...

Dear author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit a query. Unfortunately, I am unable to offer representation at this time.

Thank you,
Nicole

sKim said...

Thank you for sending this original proposal. We regret that it doesn't suit our needs at the moment. Best of luck to you.

Newbee said...

Dear Author,

Please send a partial.

Thanks,

Jen

Diana said...

Thought this was a great query, though I wasn't sure what you meant by Macs' "cool status." That could possibly be fleshed out a little? And perhaps describe some of the secondary characters within the book? Anyway, I would request a partial.

Taymalin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this story is not for me at this time. Best of luck with your future endeavors,

Taymalin

TFree said...

This one is interesting, but in the end I'm afraid I have to pass. Please feel free to submit any other projects you have completed.

Best,
TF

Krista said...

This sounds cute, and I think it is a good query, but it is just not in my area of interest.

Sorry, rejection,

Jeannie said...

I'd like to take a look at this. Please send the entire manuscript.
-Jeannie

Note: I believe the author can carry off the fantasy vs. reality balance from the query. This made my "maybe" pile and then I remembered it enough to search it out on my second pass. Figured the fact that the query resonated with me meant something.

00 Pisces said...

Dear Author,
I think you show potential, but I can't offer to represent THE END. Best of luck to you in the future.

00Pisces

Anonymous said...

Dear Author --

Very subjective business. The economy in straits as it is, I'll have to agree with fellow colleague Mr Snark and wonder where the Luck Dragon got to, too

Sorry. No thank you.

Marilyn Peake said...

Dear Author of THE END:

Thank you for your query. I regret to to inform you that I’m no longer accepting queries, as I recently requested manuscripts for five books and my schedule is full. Your book came very close to making my final cut. It sounds fascinating, and your query was impressive. I strongly recommend that you continue to query agents, as another agent might be very interested in reading your manuscript and offering you a contract. I wish you all the best in your writing career.

Sincerely,
Writerly Angst Literary Agent

Inkblot said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I am passing on it. I wish you the best of luck in placing it elsewhere.

Regards,

Agent Inky

It's not bad - in fact, I think the premise is pretty shiny - but there's nothing in the query that makes me sit up and pay attention. Oddly, it feels too short. You say in the final para's that it's about having to choose between looking cool, and being the hero, but this isn't alluded to in the prior description of the plot at all.

This is one I'd be sad to reject because I think it has more potential than the query allows for.

ros said...

Sorry, it sounds like every other MG fantasy I've ever read. Show me what's new and original and I'll be more interested.

Elizabeth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel strongly enough about the work to request any further material.

Best regards,

Agent Elizabeth

Shawntelle said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission today. I am afraid I must pass since the premise didn't grab me. Good luck in seeking representation.

Sincerely,

Shawntelle

Janny said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying about your book, THE END, for possible representation; however, I'm not the right agent for this particular work, and so I will take a pass on it.

However, as publishing is an extremely subjective business, I would encourage you to submit it elsewhere. What doesn't work for me might be just what another agent is looking for.

Best of luck!

Sincerely,
Janny

bveggie said...

form reject

Ulysses said...

Thanks for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I don't feel I am the agent to represent this work.

Ego said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your work. I regret I am not sufficiently enthusiastic to represent you at present. Note that this is a personal reaction and you may have success elsewhere.

Regards,

Ego

Thermocline said...

Thank you for your query. I do not believe I am the best agent for your project. I wish you the best with finding a home for your novel.

(I am intrigued by your story but feel it is too short for a mid-grade novel.)

Aimless Writer said...

I liked it. Send three chapters.

Rachel said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting THE END. The premise sounds intriguing and I enjoyed your query letter. However, I couldn't quite connect with the hook and I am concerned about the book's length. I am going to have to pass, with regrets. Good luck, though!

Kristin said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query; however, I am sorry to say that I will not be pursuing it any further. It does not fit my list at this time, but there are many agents out there and I would encourage you to continue submitting to those who rep your genre.
Regards,
KM

Professor I.M. Diphthong said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately this is not what I am looking for at this time.

Marybeth said...

Dear Author,

I am interested in your work. I feel you have a strong plot, however I am worried there may not be enough flesh to the story with such a small word count. Still I would be interested in viewing the full manuscript before I pass it by. Please send via a MS word document.

Sincerely,
Marybeth

Anonymous said...

Writer,
Thank you for your query, though I don’t think I’m interested in taking your story idea. Keep on writing.
-Thanks,
Suzuki Volkeswagon

Agent Yard Oaf said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. You have some interesting ideas, but I don't feel that I could adequately represent your book.

Best wishes,

Agent Yard Oaf

splatter said...

Form reject.

Reason: 15k is just too short and, honestly, too depressing. I feel like there needs to be some hint of redemption, more idea as to the plot (the premise itself is very interesting, but... I don't know where it GOES), and just a bit more information all around. I think the story could be fleshed out into something more interesting, but as is, I just wasn't sold.

lilianamama said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your interest in the "Be An Agent For a Day" contest. While I find your idea intriguing, I'm afraid your query doesn't convey the complexity of what you're attempting to accomplish.
If I can make some suggestions: Start with your book's plot. That's what you want the agent to remember. Brown nose last and when you do, make sure you show that you've done your research and this agent will want to read your book because of this, this and this.
You've got some errors in your plot paragraph: If Macs is the character's name, it's confusing next to "finds". Is Macs his last name? If not, use it. I'm assuming the book's name is The Keeper. Right now, you've written that the library is titled The Keeper. Show us what Macs does with the faeries. What does he do that creates more problems, what does he do to attempt to solve the problems? Then let us know what the consequences will be if he cannot fix the situation, include in your summary how your main character changes throughout the book. Only use the story's major characters.

I wish you all the best.

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