Nathan Bransford, Author


Monday, April 13, 2009

Be An Agent for a Day: Query #39

This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here

Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!



Dear Agent for a Day:

I have been seriously writing for nearly two years and am a finalist in fourteen RWA contests with twelve different books, including second place in the Daphne du Maurier Single Title category. THE COPYCAT KILLER ranked second in the Golden Opportunity contest. I'm a member of the Sacramento Valley, Kiss of Death and FF&P Chapters of RWA, and earned my PRO pin.

Why do some children grow up evil? That is the timeless question addressed in THE COPYCAT KILLER.

Ex-FBI agent turned fiction crime writer Rowan Smith wakes up one morning to discover someone is using her books as blueprints for murder.

Her former FBI boss fears one of her past arrests is out to terrorize her and insists she hire a bodyguard, or he'll assign two FBI agents to watch her. Rowan, who relishes her privacy and solitary life, doesn't want a bodyguard, but reluctantly hires ex-cop Michael Flynn.

The killer systematically goes through each book and chooses a victim, sending mementoes of the crime to Rowan. Michael's brother, freelance DEA agent John Flynn, accuses Rowan of hiding something and calls in favors to learn enough to confront her. She confesses that her father and brother killed her family. Her father is in a mental institution and her brother was killed trying to escape. They fall into bed needing a physical connection. The murderer kills Michael that night.

John and Rowan deal with their guilt over Michael's murder as they work with the FBI to find the murderer. They discover that Rowan's boss lied to her about her brother's death--he's in a Texas penitentiary. But when they go there to confront him, they discover that someone took his place.

THE COPYCAT KILLER is a 100,000 word suspense novel with romantic elements, in the vein of Iris Johansen, Lisa Gardner and Tami Hoag.

In addition to THE COPYCAT KILLER, I have two additional single-title romantic suspense novels, a futuristic suspense currently under consideration at Dorchester, and a women's fiction novel with a ghost as a main character.

A full is available upon request. Thank you for taking the time to consider my story.

Sincerely,
Author

STATS: 15% request rate






326 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 326   Newer›   Newest»
Monika said...

Thank you for your submission, but I do not think this project is right us. This is a subjective business and other agencies will feel differently. We wish you every success with your project.

Caroline said...

Dear Author:

While I think your writing has potential, this story did not interest me enough for me to consider representing it. Good luck in your search for representation elsewhere.

Sincerely,

Agent Caroline

Pinkie said...

Dear Author,

I'm intrigued with your story. Please send me the full manuscript.

Thank you.
CPK

Derek said...

Dear Author,

This is promising. Please send an excerpt.

Agent For A Day.
Requested #10, #12, #17, #20, #39.

Agent X said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to query. I'm afraid this isn't the right piece for me. I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Agent X

Kitti said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I regret to inform you that I am going to have to pass on this, but please keep me in mind for your future projects.

Best of luck,
Kitti

(grisly murders really not my thing, but I'd definitely ask around the agency to see if one of my fellow agents was interested, before rejecting it)

Matilda McCloud said...

Thanks for your query. Unfortunately I'll have to pass on this one.

Keep writing!

With my very best regards,

Matilda McCloud

selestial-owg said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. While your premise has merit, I'm going to have to pass at this time. I wish you the best with your search.

Selestial



First, I would move the bio to the end so your hook is more effective. For me personally, I felt like I have read/seen this story before and there was nothing that really made yours stand out for me.

Melissa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your manuscript, but I don't think I'm the right agent for it. Best of luck.



Thoughts: I felt the voice wavered early in the query, which made me struggle to read it as it was intended.

Chanelley said...

Thank you for submitting your query, which I read with great interest. I would like to see more of your work, so if you could attach the first thirty pages as a reply to this email, I’d appreciate it.
All the best,
Agent for the day

thelifter said...

Dear Author:

Maybe it's just me, but I think comparing oneself to other writers in a query letter is a hack move, which stands to reason, since crime fiction is a hack genre.

Pass.

Regards,

Mr. Snark

sraasch said...

Dear Author,

Not my genre, sorry!

Thanks!

quixotic said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, however, I do not feel excited enough about it to request anything further.

Good luck in your search for an agent.

Quixotic

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your book isn't right for me. Agenting is subjective, though, and I wish you the best of luck!

Sincerely,
Megan

Barb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.

All the best,
Barb

Onovello said...

Dear Author:

Many thanks for your query. Unfortunately, I'm not the right agent for your work.

With all best wishes,
Onovello

Craven said...

Thank you for your consideration, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck, Craven

Lucy A muse ision said...

Thanks. Sorry.

Lucy A muse ision
Fictitious Agent

K. Andrew Smith said...

Dear author,

I was intrigued by the query letter you sent for The Copycat Killer. Please send the first 50 pages by email, attached as a Word document.


Sincerely,

K. Andrew Smith

jimnduncan said...

Thank you for querying me, but I'm afraid I must pass on your story. Best of luck in your continued writing endeavors.

(reason: nothing in here sounds unique enough relative to what is currently out there in the suspens/thriller market)

wickerman said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. The Copycat Killer sounds intriguing, but simply does not distinguish itself from the majority of crime/suspense hitting my desk at this time. Please feel free to query me with your other material.

Best of Luck

The Wickerman

Executive Chef

Bransford Lit

wickerman said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. The Copycat Killer sounds intriguing, but simply does not distinguish itself from the majority of crime/suspense hitting my desk at this time. Please feel free to query me with your other material.

Best of Luck

The Wickerman

Executive Chef

Bransford Lit

Casey said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your time and consideration. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent THE COPYCAT KILLER and your career as a writer.

Best wishes,

Casey

suki said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me. I wish you luck in your search for representation.

Regards,
Suki


Reasoning: The bio-overload and hard sell on the author, rather than the book, made me leary even before I hit the summary part. And then, nothing really stood out as fresh and unique, and I wasn't engaged by the protagonist. But good luck.

Karen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for you query. Your story has potential, but it sounds very similar to the 90s film, Copycat. It may simply be the way you explained your plot, I'm not sure.

I am afraid I will have to pass at this time, but you are welcome to query again in the future.

Karen

Bija Andrew Wright said...

Sorry, I don't think this is a good fit for me.

lesleylsmith said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter.
Unfortunately, your novel is not a good fit for me.
Good luck!
-Lesley
p.s. This seems promising, but familiar. How is it different from other novels and t.v. shows?

Other Lisa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
AgentMan said...

Thanks for submitting THE COPYCAT KILLER. Unfortunately, there's nothing new here to hook my interest. Best of luck elsewhere.

AgentMan

Anonymous said...

Just my two cents:

A finalist in FOURTEEN contests? It sounds outrageous rather than prestigious and complimentary, which is what you want. I would include this at the end, and would not include the number fourteen. Especially the twelve different books part. How is that? Are you already published? Do you write a book a month (if so, I'd be very wary of the quality)? I'd concentrate on the ONE book you're trying to sell. All of these numbers are overwhelming and a bit suspicious. It would turn me off as an agent, as I would suspect the author just churns out a bunch of stuff to submit them as fast as possible to contests.

dhole said...

This looks pretty good; I'd like to take a look at the manuscript.

brian_ohio said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best,

Brian

jjdebenedictis said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent query; discovering new talent is one of the joys of being a literary agent, and I am always honoured to have the opportunity to read a writer's best work.

Please accept my regrets, however, as I won't be offering to represent this novel. I apologize for informing you of this using a form letter, but the volume of mail I receive makes it impractical for me to give personalized rejections.

I wish you the very best luck in finding a literary agent whose enthusiasm will bring your book the success it deserves!

Sincerely,
J. J. DeGoblin

~~~~~~~
For your reference, here are the most common reasons why I decline certain queries. Please note that if your submission was very good, my reasons for rejecting it were probably much subtler than the items on this list and cannot be put quickly into words. Again, I apologize for this form letter, but I cannot invest the time to critique those submissions I have chosen to not represent. Thank you for your understanding.


Most common reasons why I decline manuscripts:

[ ]--The manuscript is in a genre which I don't represent

[ ]--The query appears to be a non-personalized mass mailing

[ ]--The query/manuscript's presentation was worryingly unpolished
(E.g. Many spelling, grammar, punctuation or homophone errors; a non-standard format)

[ ]--The writing doesn't seem polished enough
(This improves with practice; your next novel may be excellent)

[ ]--The plot doesn't sound compelling enough
(Again, this improves with practice and self-education)

[ X ]--The plot sounds too similar to something book-buyers have already seen


Comments, if any:
I'm not sure this book is different enough from others on the market to be easily sold.

Also, queries that focus on the book's inciting incident and how it forces the protagonist to act tend to whet my appetite more than queries that list off a series of plot points.

Cindy said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query, however this project is not right for me at this time.

All the best,
Cindy

Anonymous said...

I agree. The 14 contests sounds a little out there. All at once? Or in the past?

Gina Black said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me. I would love to read more. Please send me the first three chapters.

Thank you,
Agent Extraordinaire

Steve Axelrod said...

This sounds very familiar to me. But good luck with it elsewhere.

Sasha said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Yours Truly,
AftD

Notes: This may be an issue of personal taste, but I think you should leave out mention of any other (as yet unpublished) manuscripts. Mentioning so many stories in such a short space draws attention away from the one you are pitching, and feels overwhelming at this end.

Josephine Damian said...

I'm seriously biting my tongue here. I'll just say: form rejection.

Cassandra said...

Dear Author,

I'm afraid that at this time I am unable to offer representation for your novel. This is purely a business decision, and unfortunately means that I must turn away many talented individuals. I encourage you to continue querying agents you think might be interested.

I appreciate your interest in Agent for A Day, and wish you every success in your writing career.



Regards,
Cassandra

Annalee said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your manuscript. I'm afraid it isn't right for me.

Regards,
-Annalee

-----------
Reason: I almost stopped reading after paragraph two. If I was a real agent, I probably would have. I want to hear about the project, not about your RWA membership. The one relevant credit--the manuscript taking second place in a contest--should go somewhere near the end. Ditch the rest.

The hook's a little worn out and the writing doesn't seem to sharpen it much, so I've already decided to pass before I even get to the part where the author mentions other books. Query for one project at a time.

Mystery Robin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I am not the right agent for this book. Best of luck!

Robin

Jenn Johansson said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for letting me review your query. Unfortunately, I don't think this is a good fit for me at this time.

Best of luck!
JJ

Olga said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Vicky said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for querying me regarding THE COPYCAT KILLER. Unfortunately, I have decided to pass on this novel as the plot is not sufficiently unique to pique my interest. Another agent may feel differently. I wish you all the best in your search for representation.

Best regards,

Dawn G. said...

Dear Author,

Unfortunately, I am unable to offer you representation at this time. Thank you for submitting your work for consideration. Please keep me in mind for future projects.

Kindest Regards,

D. Agent

David said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your project doesn't sound right for me.

Sincerely,
David

Anonymous said...

"A full is available upon request. "

A full?! Full what?! Full monty?!

Seriously, people, try not to get too informal in these Q's. They're business letters, not blogs. Leave the e-speak to the chat rooms.

Anonymous said...

"complete manuscript" = "full"

Agree the former should be used and not the latter. But that's what this learning experience is all about--learning.

hannah said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me.

Best,
hannah

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me at this time.

Sincerely,
Amy

Heather said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but it's not for me.

Good luck!
Heather

Madison said...

Dear Author,

Thank you so much for submitting your work and considering me to represent it. While the story sounds quite interesting, I am afraid it does not fit my list at this point in time and I must regretfully pass. I know rejections can be hard to take, but please keep submitting and following your dream.

Best of luck in your agent hunt!

Sincerely,

Madison

Reason for rejection: Feels like I've seen this story before.

sally apokedak said...

If I hadn't already asked for five, I'd have asked for this one.

Endless Secrets said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query unfortunately your project is not right for this agency, i encourage to to try another.

-Lea

bridge said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I am going to pass.
Sincerely,
Bridge On a personal note, this was a bit wordy and I have seen it done elsewhere, copying the author's books and killings, and it was done well then so I would pass due to the difficulty of placing a similar book in the market. The query isn't intense enough. There is a lot of telling and not enough sense of why I'm going to like this character(s) and take the journey with them.

Barbara Webb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sharing THE COPYCAT KILLER, but I'm afraid I'm going to pass.

Best of luck!

Barbara

Gwen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest. Unfortunately, this project is not a good fit for me at the present time.

Regards,

Gwen

***

(Side note: I do not believe that mentioning several novels in the same query is appropriate, given that the author is requesting representation only for one.)

Rick Daley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Authors Write Literary Agency. I have reviewed your query for THE COPYCAT KILLER, and I’m sorry to say that I do not feel that I am the best agent to represent your work at this time.

Please keep in mind that there are many talented agents out there, and opinions are subjective based on individual preferences, workload, and market climate.

Don’t be afraid to research other agents and query those that you feel are best suited to represent your work. Best of luck!

Regards,

Daley Agent for a Day

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I’ll pass on this one. Good luck in your endeavors.

Regards,

Lindsey S.

Agent KES said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I am not able to offer you representation at this time. Best of luck,

Agent KES

Other Lisa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately it's not what I'm looking for. Best of luck in your search for representation, and keep writing!

Best,

Agent X

(yikes! I mixed up the queries)

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid I am not the right agent to represent your work.

Agent99

Merry Monteleone said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Only Literary Agency Insane Enough To Trust Me With Queries. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pass.

Best of luck,

Merry

Cary Louisa said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission, but I don't feel the project is right for me.

Thanks,
Cary

EJ Lange said...

Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not right for me at this time. Good luck in your search for representation.

Agent Erin

scj said...

The plot sounds interesting, and the voice is strong enough that I think this could be different from other, similar tales (even if the query itself could use a little tightening). Please send the first three chapters my way.

Superfast said...

Dear Author,

I'm interested in reading more. Please send me the full manuscript.

Thank you.

Jen C said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to the Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever. I regret that, at this time, your project is not quite what I’m looking for. I wish you the best of luck in your continuing search for representation.
Sincerely,
Jen C.

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit.

I regret to inform you that at this time I would like to pass on your book.

Best of luck in the future,

Regards,
Agent for a Day, Bookworm Megs

Christine Rose said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

Kristi said...

Thank you for your query. I don't feel this is right for me but I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,
Kristi

:)Ash said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your interest in my agency. Unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for you at this time. Best wishes as you continue your search.

Sincerely yours,

:)Ash

Author: I think you should start with the description of your novel (being sure to include what sets yours apart from others in the genre). Save the personal information and previous recognition of your work for the final paragraph.

Anonymous said...

No thank you. Best of luck in your endeavors.

-Agent Pro Tempore

PurpleClover said...

Dear Author:

I will have to pass at this time.

Regards,
PC

Laura said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but the premise is not a good fit for me.

Best of luck,

Agent Laura

Harsh Critic said...

Your query letter reads too much like a synopsis, and the manuscript seems somewhat over the top.

Sorry, not for me.

Disgruntled Bear said...

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately I am going to have to pass at this time.
I wish you the best of luck with another agent.

Sincerely,
Agent

StrugglingToMakeIt said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Best,

Agent

Tara Ryan said...

Dear Author,
Thank you so much for submitting your work to me. Unfortunately, The Copycat Killers is not a good fit for me at this time. I wish you much luck in your writing endeavors.
Agent-for-a-day

ikmar said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. Sorry, but it is not for me.

Sincerely,
Agent for the Day

PPP said...

Dear Author,

I don't really understand how all of these plot points connect. Maybe your voice is off, or maybe I'm just dense.

Signed,
PPP

ai-hua said...

Not interested. Form rejection.

ai-hua said...

Intriguing, could be good, but I've got two other queries in line that I'm leaning yes to, and both are better. Form rejection.

bookshop said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent submission. While our agency is not the best fit for this particular project, other agents may feel differently. I wish you luck in your search for representation.


Regards,

Bookshop

__________

(Hi!

To help pull this premise together for me, I would like to have seen less narration of events. We don't need to know everything that happens, and lines like "they fall into bed, seeking a connection" only spoonfeed us as readers, which is not what you want: you want us to yearn to know what comes next, to know more based on where you leave us hanging.

Overall, this is much more like a plot summary than a query; the danger is that the more of your plot you reveal, the less we are interested in reading the full M.S. Just focus on describing the central conflict and letting us know what the stakes are, and you'll have a better shot at gaining our interest.

Good luck! :) )

DeadlyAccurate said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your query and I apologize for this form reply.

I regret I have to pass on many interesting projects due to time constraints. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.


Sincerely,

DeadlyAccurate

(This one sounds interesting, but the pitch is a little dry. I'd read pages if they were included, because I suspect the writing is actually quite good).

Jeanne Tomlin said...

Form rejection with form rhetorical question rant.

Leslie said...

Dear Author,

Thank your for your query, however, your book is not right for us at this time. Good luck with your publishing endeavors.

Best wishes, Leslie

Kavanaugh and Byrne's LA said...

Dear Author

Thank you opportunity to consider your work at Kavanaugh and Byrne’s Literary Agency.

We do not feel that are the best match with this project.
We wish you every success with this and other ventures

Flower Kavanaugh

Laurie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. While your premise is intriguing, I have to pass on your manuscript at this time.

Best of luck to you,
Laurie

Advice: The bio and all the other unpublished novels you've written detract from the query, which might have stood on its own if it wasn't colored by all those near hits.

Katy said...

Thank you for your submission. I do not feel that I am the right agent to represent your novel.
Best of luck,
Katy

kdrausin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for requesting my representation. I applaud your determination and effort in completing your novel. Your story is not right for me at this time; however I encourage you to keep writing and pursuing representation.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

Sincerely,

KDrausin

Beatriz Kim said...

Dear Copycat Killer Author,

Thank you for your query letter. Unfortunately, I won't be able to represent you at this time.

Sincerely,
BK

Bane of Anubis said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission, but it isn't right for me. Best of luck,

Bane

(reasoning: while there seems to be a lot of credentialar - yes, I know, not a word - merit to this, I feel like there's just a bit too much FUBAR going on in the plot - which may be acceptable for the genre, but I don't have the familiarity to know)

Pap said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in my agency. However, I will not be requesting any further materials from you at this time. Please note that submissions are a very subjective business and my comments are not a critique on your writing ability. I strongly encourage you to continue your search for an agent and wish you all the best.

Your sincerely,

Make-believe Agency

KathyF said...

Dear Author of Query #39,

Thank you for your query, but THE COPYCAT KILLER isn't right for me.

KathyF

KC in SF said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me.

I wish you the best of luck,

KC in SF

David de Beer said...

Dear Author,

thanks for your interest but unfortunately I am going to pass this time.

Sincerely,
David de Beer

Cat Hellisen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.  Your proposal is interesting, but I don't feel that the project is quite right for me. I wish you the best of luck in finding representation elsewhere.

Best,
Cat

Eden said...

Thanks for the opportunity but I'm afraid I'll have to pass on representing this piece.

Best of luck with your writing.

~Eden

Thomas said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not appropriate for my current needs. I wish you luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,
Tally

CJK said...

Thank you for your query. I am not interested in further materials on this work. Good luck with your search for representation. CJK

romoak said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. While aspects of this story are intriguing, this story is not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your continued efforts. Please keep in mind that other agents are different.

-- While the premise is interesting, I've seen it done before in books, movies, even tv shows. Also, there was so much about the author and other works that I kind of forgot about the book in it all.

Renee Collins said...

Dear The Copycat Killer,

Thank you for your query. While the concept here intrigued me, I am afraid it doesn't resonate with me enough to pursue it.

Best of luck,

Renee

Krista said...

Sorry, form rejection.

The beginning was intriguing, but the rest just felt like a sequence of events.

Melinda said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Please send the first 50 pages attached in a Word doc.

Sincerely,

Melinda

Madhat said...

Dear Author:

I'm sorry, but I'll have to pass.

-Agent

Reasons: I don't read romantic suspense. Despite not reading it, even I know that criminals-copying-fiction has been done to death. Also, the first line of the query inspired a sarcastic remark:
I have been seriously writing for nearly two years
As opposed to comically writing?

Sage said...

Dear Copycat Killer,

The concept was just not unique enough for me. Another agent may feel differently.

Thanks,
Sage

Adam Heine said...

This sounds very interesting. Please send me the full manuscript.

In future queries, drop the entire first paragraph. Believe it or not, there's not much there that's very compelling.

MK said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query letter. Your manuscript sounds intriguing, and I'd love to take a look at it.

Please send the first 50 pages as a Word document.

I look forward to reading it.

Best,
Agent for a Day

Brigita said...

Thank you for sending me your query. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.

Selene said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for contacting Selene Literary. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that this project is not right for us. We wish you the best of luck in finding an agent that is as enthusiastic about this book as it deserves.

Best regards,
Selene Da Agent
Selene Literary

Nay said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.
I will have to pass on this project, but best of luck to you.

-Nay

Nixy Valentine said...

Dear Author:

I'm sorry, but I don't believe I'm the right agent for your project.

Notes:Personally I would put the bio later, and not in the first paragraph. I imagine agents want to hear about the BOOK first, YOU second.

If this is a romance, you need to play up the romance in the query. I had to read a few times to find the romantic element and all you really said was they "deal with their guilt" which isn't very romantic.

The query is well-written, but it didn't grab me enough to make my top 5. So sorry. =)

Annie said...

I like crime, but I'd pass.

Reason: the query rambles too much and doesn't give enough focus. I also felt like I've read this story before.

Jeni said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I sincerely appreciate the opportunity to review your proposal, and found the premise for your manuscript intriguing. However, I’m afraid that the manuscript does not meet my needs at this time. Please do continue to send your work to other agents, as someone else may feel differently.
Best of luck in your publishing endeavors,
Jeni

Sol said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I am unable to request a partial at this time. Your credentials as a writer are impressive. I wish you the best in your search for representation.

Kind regards,

Sol Nima

Jessumby said...

Dear Author

Thank you for sending me your query. I regret to inform you that it does not suit the needs of my list at this time.

Regards, Jessumby

thin said...


Dear Author, I am looking forward to reading more from The Copycat Killer. Please send a partial via email at your earliest convenience.
Sincerely,
Thin

theflightytemptress said...

Dear Copy Cat Killer,

Sounds interesting! Really :) Please send the first three chapters, document format, as an attachment.

Yours,

Kat Brauer

Chris Eldin said...

I was on the fence until I saw these two sentences together:

Her father is in a mental institution and her brother was killed trying to escape. They fall into bed needing a physical connection.

Form rejection.

RW said...

Dear Author:

Thank you very much for your query. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to consider your work for representation. As you know, it’s a competitive market these days, and I don’t believe I have the right relationships to sell this project successfully. I do wish you luck in finding an agent and thank you for considering me.

Yours truly,

RW

Keri Ford said...

Thank you for submitting, but unfortunately I didn’t connect with this story idea.

Good Luck,
Keri


<><><><><><><><>
I was confused through bits of this. Try to make who your hero/ine more clear. The way it's set up, it looks like Micheal is your hero.

Had an episode of Castle not just aired (and I've been catching up on NCIS episodes lately) this idea would have grabbed me.

The Classic Carol said...

Dear Author of THE COPYCAT KILLER:
Thank you for your query. I found your premise intriguing. Unfortunately, it is not right for me at this time. I encourage you to keep writing. Best wishes as you pursue an agent better suited for your work.

Polenth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. As your story didn't resonate with me, I'm going to have to pass.

--
Polenth

Poppy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I liked THE COPYCAT KILLER, but it is not a genre I usually represent and I have few spaces left for new manuscripts at this time. Best of luck with other agents.

Agent

Lisa R said...

Dear The Copycat Killer:

Please send me the entire manuscript as a Microsoft Word attachment. Thanks.

Lisa R

Ulysses said...

Thanks for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I don't feel I am the agent to represent this work.

Deniz Bevan said...

Thank you for your query, but I wouldn't be the right agent in this instance.
I wish you luck finding the right home for your work.
Sincerely,
Ms Agent Agency

Dale - Las Vegas said...

I find your story idea interesting. Please send the first fifty pages as an attachment to your email.

Thanks.

(I would look at this as it seems awfully close to the new series on ABC about a writer helping a cop - can't remember the name at the moment.)

Jabez said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not believe I am the best agent to represent your manuscript. Best of luck in your quest for publication.

Dara said...

Dear Copycat,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not think I am the right person for this book. I wish you success in your search for representation.

Best,

Dara

Specifics: It sounds too familiar to other plot devices I've seen before. Also, I would move the bio paragraph to after the actual summary of the story so it makes it stronger.

Sherry Ficklin said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for thinking of me, but I'm going to have to pass. This work just sounds too similar to other titles I've read recently. Best of luck finding another agent!

Sincerely, Agent Faux

Gregory said...

Dear Author;

Form rejection.

Cordially,

Agent Gregory

[The query fails for the reasons others have mentioned. And the rhetorical question is a no-no. Interesting lesson in reading these queries: Minimize the bio stuff and keep it to the end. It's all about a sharp, tight, show-don't-tell, strong-hook query. A strong hook has to offer a unique twist. Copycat Killer sounds like a copycat plot. (Have you seen the movie, Copycat?) Beyond that, it's all about the writing. Third, perhaps, comes the technical stuff (length, audience, market). The key question there, for an agent, is: Can I make sell this and make money with it?

Nathan... this has been an invaluable exercise! Thank you!]

John said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for giving me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, it's not something I think I can sell at present. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.

Soratian said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query but I'm afraid I'll be passing on this one as it's not the right match for me. I wish you all the best in your search for an agent.

Best regards,
Soratian

(Comments: Feel that the query is too long which includes much unnecessary detail, including some blow-by-blow plot events. The job of the pitch is to hook the reader, not to lay out the plot- that's the synopsis's job.

Credentials, including contest placings should go at the back, including previous publications)

educlaytion said...

I went back and forth over this one, but the story is just not for me. Best of luck.

JuJu said...

Dear Author,

Your novel and query are both: well written, formatted and well thought out. If you are interested, I would like to have a partial of your manuscript to read, revise, and consider taking on as a full-fledged project.

Best wishes,
JuJu

(this reminds me of an episode of Bones)

Sarah Laurenson said...

Form rejection.


I'm sorry, but I am just so confused by this query.

lucy in the sky said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not believe I am the best person to represent your work.

Tree said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tree said...

Dear Author:
I want to thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. Unfortunately, I did not connect well enough with your project to pursue it further. As I'm sure you know, agenting is a very subjective business. Although your project didn't fit with my particular list, another agent may respond very differently.
Please accept my best wishes for success in your writing career and finding the perfect advocate for your work.
Sincerely,
Tree

Fairduncan said...

Dear Author

Thanks for querying us. I regret I have to pass on this one, but wish you every success in finding representation.

Cordially Yours,
Agent

Tree said...

Dear Author:
I want to thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. Unfortunately, I did not connect well enough with your project to pursue it further. As I'm sure you know, agenting is a very subjective business. Although your project didn't fit with my particular list, another agent may respond very differently.
Please accept my best wishes for success in your writing career and finding the perfect advocate for your work.
Sincerely,
Tree

Sun Up said...

Thank you for considering us. Unfortunately at this time, I am not currently representing this genre.

Best of luck to you,

Alicia

Janeal C. Falor said...

Thank you for the opportunity to look at you work. Unfortunately, I don't feel this is the right project for me.

Heather Harper said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. After careful consideration, I regret that I’m unable to request your manuscript at this time.

Best,
Agent for a day

Kats said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query, but The Copycat Killer is not for me.

Best,
Agent for a Day, Kats

Sophie W. said...

Dear Author of The Copycat Killer,

Although your work shows merit, I cannot request further materials at this time. Keep in mind that this business is terribly subjective, and you'll probably get the chance to thumb your nose at me in the future.

Love,

Sophie

Venus Vaughn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, your project doesn't meet my needs at this time.
Best of luck to you in your writing career.

~Venus Vaughn

Amethyst Greye Alexander said...

Dear Author,

I've reviewed your query but am afraid your project isn't a good fit with the works I represent. I hope you won't let this discourage you, however, as every agent has different tastes and you're sure to find representation that will better suit your needs.

Thank you for considering me.
Amethyst Adams

Anonymous said...

Form Rejection.

Agent DC

Wandering Spirit said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Unfortunately your book is not of a genre that I am best suited to represent. However, all writing is of value and I wish you the best in your endeavours.

Best wishes

Agent for a Day

Note: Rhetorical question – sorry!

Maryann Miller said...

Thank you for considering out agency for representation. Unfortunately, we are going to have to pass.

Bertha Lavelle said...

Dear Author,
While your proposal was compelling, I'm afraid books featuring gruesome murders aren't something I'm interested in representing,
all the best,
Bertha

Patti K. said...

Thank you for your submission but I do not believe it is right for me at this time. Good luck on your quest for the perfect agent.

Patti K.

Meggrs said...

Even without the generic romance plot (which still might work if the writing were super-crisp), the "12 books in my 2 whole years of writing" comment made this an immediate "no."

Sharpen the query and dump the "I'm doing really well in contests" info. The ONLY thing that matters is the writing.

Rejection.

Lupina said...

Thank you but it's not for me at this time.

RK said...

Dear Author,

Send in the manuscript!

Agent-For-The-Day

Sara Cox Landolt said...

Dear Author,
I received and read your query. I'm going to pass. I'd suggest starting with your hook vs. your writing experience. Press on, writing is rewriting!
Best to you,
Agent SCL

Larry Writer said...

Dear Author,

You have my interest. Please send me your full manuscript.

Kind regards,

Lasrry

Savannah Pens said...

Dear Author: Thank you for your query. While your premise has some pop, I must pass. It seems like I've seen this plot many times before. Best wishes. Savannah Pens Agent

Lois Lavrisa said...

Dear Author,

While I appreciate your consideration of our agency, I will have to pass on your project.

I am sorry to say I did not have the passionate response to it that I would need to request more or offer you representation.

Obviously you want an agent who will stand enthusiastically behind your work.

Additionally, given today’s publishing climate I do not believe I would be able to get you the attention from a publisher that your book deserves.

Publishing is very subjective, though, and another agent may well feel differently.

I do wish you success in finding representation and, once again, thank you for the opportunity to consider your work.

Sincerely,

Lois Lavrisa
Agent for a day

Jean said...

This sounds interesting. I'd like to see the ms. You may send it as an attachment with the subject header "You Asked For It."

Jean

The Writers Canvas said...

Thanks for your submission. At the present time, it doesn't fit our list. I wish you the best with another agent who might be a better fit.

Elaine

PS - Your query named numerous people; it got confusing which distracted my attention. While the Daphne and RWA are impressive, I wouldn't mention the 14 contests until the end of the query. I'd start off with the hook.

Lucy said...

Dear Author: Thank you for contacting us. Unfortunately, we do not feel that we are a suitable agency to represent your work. We wish you every success in your search for an agent. Sincerely, L. C.

Maricar said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. However, your work does not fit our needs at this time. Best of luck.

Moth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission to Moth's Literary Agency. Please email me your first 50 pages, and include a short synopsis as well.

Thank you,
Moth

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Raven56 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying "Agent for a Day" Agency. Unfortunately, we do not feel this story is a good fit for our list at this time. We encourage you to continue querying other agents.

Best of luck,

Raven56

PCB said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. We are not in a position to represent you at this time, but wish you all the very best in your writing endeavors.

Sincerely,
PCB

cwsherwoodedits said...

Thank you for your query. I'm going to have to pass.

KareFree Kennels said...

The Copycat Killer


Sorry, not for me.

Best of luck,
Sheryl

Dorine White said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but the genre isn't for me. Keep trying other agents.

Best,
Agent for a day

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Horserider said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for allowing us to consider your work. I’m sorry to say that this is not something we are interested in at this time. We receive hundreds of submissions every week and, unfortunately, cannot take them all on. This is a very subjective business and I wish you luck on your journey to publication.

Sincerely,

Horserider Literary Agency

Just_Me said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for the query. Having reviewed your material closely I don’t feel I would be the best advocate for this work. I wish you the best of luck placing it with another agency.

Sincerely,
Agent


NOTE: Close. I like the idea of the murderer. I'm impressed that you've changed something that's been done before into something unique. But this sound depressing and I couldn't rep it let alone read it. It's going to get published, I'm just not the right person to push for it.

Audrey E said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for query. I'm afraid that this piece isn't right for me and I will have to pass at this time.

Yours,
Audrey

Lipstick Lizzie said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your recent query. Please send the full manuscript. I look forward to reading your work.

Lizzie

(I’ve seen this concept everywhere from “Basic Instinct” to “One Life to Live,” but if the writing’s good and the characters are new, I think it’ll work.)

Tamara said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I wish you the best of luck finding a home for this project, but after consideration, I have to say it's not for me.

Best wishes,
Agent for a Day
(Tamara)

super agent nicole said...

Dear author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Unfortunately, I am unable to offer representation at this time.

Thank you,
Nicole

TFree said...

Thank you for considering me. Unfortunately, this piece isn’t right for me at this time. Good luck with this and future endeavors.

TF

IQOkie said...

Dear Author,

Despite that I don't like queries that start with bio's, I did get past it and would like you to send me the first 30 pages.

Thank you,

Tricia

sKim said...

Thank you for sending this original proposal. We regret that it doesn't suit our needs at the moment. Best of luck to you.

Newbee said...

Form Rejection...

Taymalin said...

I love this kind of story, I'd like to see the whole thing.

Taymalin

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for letting me consider your project. Unfortunately, it is not quite right for my list. I must therefore step aside and encourage you to submit elsewhere.

Best,
Agent

Marilyn Peake said...

Dear Author of THE COPYCAT KILLER:

Please send your manuscript in full for THE COPYCAT KILLER. I’m very interested in reading it. The concept is fascinating, your writing is crisp and clear, and your writing credentials are very impressive.

Thank You,
Writerly Angst Literary Agent

Jeannie said...

Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately your project is not what we’re looking to represent at this time. Best of luck.
- Jeannie

Note: This was a close call. Something about the murder method seemed too familiar to me. Crime writer turned victim scenario.

00 Pisces said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I cannot offer you representation at this time. Best of luck to you.

00 Pisces

I saw this on Bones and don't feel the need to spend several hours reading it in a book when I could just spend 45 minutes watching it on DVD.

Inkblot said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I am passing on it. While your writing seems concise and fluid, I do not believe I am the best agent for this story. I wish you the best of luck in placing it elsewhere.

Regards,

Agent Inky

austere said...

Dear Author #39

I’m afraid I have to regret.

Keep writing, and good luck with the words.

Regards,


Too detailed a proposal, IMHO.

ros said...

Sorry, I'm not taking this. I was confused by the two strands in the query - why children grow up evil and the copycat killings, and I suspect the book is as confused as the query. Also, a word of advice: cut out your first paragraph - it almost stopped me from reading the rest.

Elizabeth said...

Dear Author,

While interesting, your story is too similar to other works, with not enough originality to make it stand out. I must regretfully pass.

Best Regards,

Agent Elizabeth

Janny said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for querying me with your book, THE COPYCAT KILLER. There's much to recommend this story, but as I read your quick summary, I didn't find anything fresh or unique that "jumped out" at me, and so I'm afraid I will need to pass on this for now.

However, keep in mind that agents often need to pass on good projects for many reasons--so I wish you good luck in placing this elsewhere!

Sincerely,
Janny

Shawntelle said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission today. I am afraid I must pass since the premise

didn't grab me. Good luck in seeking representation.

Sincerely,

Shawntelle

Ego said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your work. I regret I am not sufficiently enthusiastic to represent you at present. Note that this is a personal reaction and you may have success elsewhere.

Regards,

Ego

Thermocline said...

Thank you for your query. I do not believe I am the best agent for your project. I wish you the best with finding a home for your novel.

(I know a lot about you but got no sense of your voice.)

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I’ll pass on this one. Good luck in your endeavors.

Regards,

Lindsey S.

Aimless Writer said...

I'm on the fence with this one. Sounds like it could be a good story but your query wandered a little.
3 Chapters please.

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