Nathan Bransford, Author


Monday, April 13, 2009

Be An Agent for a Day: Query #38

This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here

Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!



Dear Agent for a Day,

16-year old Noella, mechanic in the city of Beziers, daydreams of the ancient past when animals were more than legends, before the shields separated the cities from the radiation-tainted Wild. But when it’s discovered that Noella is the secret heir to a wealthy city called Alcanzar, she must escape a plot to force her into marriage with Etienne, the Prince of Beziers. She flees beyond the shields, to the mythical Wild, which hasn’t been destroyed as the city-dwellers are taught by Council-sponsored textbooks.

In the Wild, a camaraderie has evolved between humans known as the Timber and the animals that share their lands. One Timber, Lynx, teaches her to survive outside the shields where a new way of life for her and the people of Alcanzar beckons. But when soldiers from Beziers find her and bring her back to Etienne, Lynx breaks into the city to save her. Only problem is, Etienne isn't the monster she feared. When he promises her a chance to help govern her own people, Noella isn’t so sure she wants to be rescued.
Noella must decide if she has the strength to become the true ruler of Alcanzar, and upset a system that has been teaching a lie for centuries.

Birthright is a 70,500 word YA novel. I am a publicist for a small publishing company, and managed the children's section of an independent bookstore for eight years. I have two stories published in "Stories for Children Magazine."

Thank you for considering my work for representation.

Sincerely,
Author

STATS: 24% request rate






298 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 298   Newer›   Newest»
Caroline said...

Dear Author:

Your story interests me, but there isn't anything that makes this stand out from the many other books of this genre. Please consider sending along your future works.

Sincerely,

Agent Caroline

thelifter said...

Dear Author:

You know, I was going to make some snide comment about Anastasia and The Truman Show, but on second thought, I'll take the full.

Send it over.

Regards,

Mr. Snark

Derek said...

Dear Author,

Your premise sounds reasonably intruiging, but having already asked for 4 excerpts today, I'm having to be selective about what I request.

I'll pass.

Agent For A Day.

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your book isn't right for me. Agenting is subjective, though, and I wish you the best of luck!

Sincerely,
Megan

hannah said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for thinking of me, but this isn't right for me.

Best,
hannah

Pinkie said...

Dear Author,

I would like to be considered for some future work. I like your thinking, but am not sure that this project is ready or right for me.

Thank you.
CPK

Madison said...

Dear Author,

Thank you so much for submitting your work and considering me to represent it. While the story sounds quite interesting, I am afraid it does not fit my list at this point in time and I must regretfully pass. I know rejections can be hard to take, but please keep submitting and following your dream.

Best of luck in your agent hunt!

Sincerely,

Madison

Reason for rejection: Does not stand out to me.

selestial-owg said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Your premise has intrigued me enough to want to take a closer look. Please send me the first three chapters.

Selestial

Sooki Scott said...

Yup, this is a keeper. Send! Send!

quixotic said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, however, I do not feel excited enough about it to request anything further.

Good luck in your search for an agent.

Quixotic

romoak said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. While aspects of this story are intriguing, this story is not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your continued efforts. Please keep in mind that other agents are different.

-- If I had more than 1 request left, I probably would have requested this. The premise is exciting, but it didn't completely hook me. It was the secret heir that did it.

Casey said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your time and consideration. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent BIRTHRIGHT and your career as a writer.

While your credentials certainly recommend you, I find I'm just not interested in the story enough.

Best wishes,

Casey

scj said...

Sorry, but this isn't right for me. I don't know what drives the characters, and I don't get a sense of what makes this book stand out from others in the genre. Another agent may feel differently. Best of luck.

Melissa said...

Dear Author,

Please e-mail 50 pages of Birthright to pretendagent@gmail.com. Your work sounds promising. I look forward to reading it.



Thoughts: I like how fully-developed this is, and how it progresses in ways I don't quite expect.

David said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your project doesn't sound right for me.

Sincerely,
David

PurpleClover said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for considering me for representation. I can not offer representation at this time. But please feel free to submit again for future projects.

Regards,
PC

REASON: I swear I've seen this in a show multiple times. I think one was an Outer Limits and the other was a Stargate Atlantis. It obviously sells but it doesn't seem original. I may have requested to see more if I wasn't limited to two requests left.

Laura said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't a good fit for me.

Best of luck,

Agent Laura

p.s. not a big fantasy fan, but this query is better written than most, so kudos!

Agent X said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to query. I'm afraid this isn't the right piece for me, though I welcome you to query me with other works in the future. Best of luck to you.

Sincerely,

Agent X

Monika said...

Thank you for your submission, but I do not think this project is right us. This is a subjective business and other agencies will feel differently. We wish you every success with your project.

reader said...

Uh, hell yes.

Please send me the first fifty pages of this as an email attachment, with REQESTED MATERIAL in the subject line.

I love the names you've chosen: Noella, Etienne.

*Good luck with this!


(except how weird is this, I'm on my fifth draft of a novel that is set up almost this exact same way -- cities, shields... but I have no forced marriage or heir to any thrones going on. I hope you get published, I'd love to read this!)

Chanelley said...

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not what I’m looking for at this time. However, do continue to query widely. After all, it does only take one agent to say yes!
All the best,
Agent for the day

Nixy Valentine said...

Dear Author:

I'm sorry, but I'm not the right agent for your book.

Notes: This would make my top 10, but not my top 5. The query is well written, but I thought *part* of the concept was clichéd. On the other hand, the animal thing was original. I think I would have liked this a little more if she were an ordinary girl, rather than a princess running from a forced marriage.

I do like your voice and writing style, and wouldn't at all be surprised to find out you're one of the published authors, as this does seem like something I would see on a book shelf.

wickerman said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for you submission to Bransford Lit. Unfortunately, your query is not what I am currently looking to represent. Best of luck in your endeavors.

Truly Yours,

The Wickerman

Renee Collins said...

Dear Birthright,

Thank you for your query. Please send me the first fifty pages in a Word document. I look forward to reading this.

Thanks,

Renee

sraasch said...

Dear Author,

While this sounds very interesting (who doesn't love post-apocalyptic?), I'm afraid I must pass. Sorry!

Thanks!

Barb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.

All the best,
Barb

K. Andrew Smith said...

Dear author,

Thank you for your submission, Birthright. Unfortunately, it's not quite right for me. I wish you good fortune in your quest for an agent.

Sincerely,

K. Andrew Smith

Onovello said...

Dear Author:

Many thanks for your query. Unfortunately, I'm not the right agent for this work.

With all best wishes,
Onovello

Lucy A muse ision said...

Thanks. Sorry.

Lucy A muse ision
Fictitious Agent

Superfast said...

Thank you so much for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't feel I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Good luck and keep writing!

Karen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I am afraid I am going to have to pass, but I wish you luck in your endeavors.

Karen

jjdebenedictis said...

Dear Author,

I'm very excited about your query for BIRTHRIGHT. The complexity of the issues facing Noella makes me think this could be a compelling YA novel.

Please send me the first three chapters of BIRTHRIGHT, as well as an SASE and sufficient postage for me to return your pages to you later. You should hear back from me within two weeks.

I'm really looking forward to reading your work!

Sincerely,
J. J. DeGoblin

Other Lisa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately it's not what I'm looking for. Best of luck in your search for representation, and keep writing!

Best,

Agent X

lesleylsmith said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter.
Unfortunately, your novel is not a good fit for me.
Good luck!
-Lesley
p.s. This is promising, but seems similar to other things I've read. If the author could emphasize what's different here that would be a plus.

Bija Andrew Wright said...

Thanks for your interest, but I have to pass on this one.

jimnduncan said...

Please send the first 30 pages as an attachment. Include the original query in the email and put "requested material" in the subject header.

(reason: while the story doesn't offer anything overly unique relative to what's out there now, there is the sense of some very strong and engrossing world-building here, and a strong conflict.)

AgentMan said...

We do not handle YA fiction. Best of luck.

AgentMan

brian_ohio said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best,

Brian

Steve Axelrod said...

This could be the most brilliant book of it's kind ever written and I wouldn't have a clue. Keep looking and I'm sure you'll find someone sympatico. Good luck.

Sasha said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. The premise is interesting and thoroughly developed, so I'm sure your search for an agent will soon be fruitfull. However, I don't think I'm the right person to represent your work.

Good luck and yours truly,
AftD

Marva said...

This is the first one I've found semi-interesting.

Send me the full!

Of course, I'm going backwards in the list, so I might find earlier queries that also pique my interest.

Jean said...

Thanks for your submission. I'm sorry, but it's just not what I'm looking for at this time.

Mystery Robin said...

Dear Author,

I am intrigued! Please send me a partial - the first 30 pages or first 3 chapters.

Thank you!
Robin

Kitti said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I am intrigued - would you please send me a Word document of the first fifty pages of BIRTHRIGHT?

Cheers,
Kitti

Vicky said...

Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately, this project is not right for us. Best of luck finding representation for your work.

All best.

Dawn G. said...

Dear Author,

Unfortunately, I am unable to offer you representation at this time. Thank you for submitting your work for consideration. Please keep me in mind for future projects.

Kindest Regards,

D. Agent

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me at this time.

Sincerely,
Amy

Heather said...

Dear Author,

I would love to see you manuscript. Please email it to me at your earliest convenience.

Thanks,
Heather

bridge said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I'm afraid it doesn't resonate with me so I'm going to pass.
Best of luck,
Bridge
On a personal note, this could be great. I love fantasy and it sounds fun, but the query is bogged down with foreign names and details that end up overwhelming, simplify a bit, what is the main plot, what is the catalyst? Why should we want to know more? Then you'll have me. Hope this helps,
Bridge

suki said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. At this time I would be interested in reading more. Please send me the first five chapters and a synopsis as word attachments at your earliest convenience.

Regards,
Suki


Reasoning: Tight and sharp query, and I think there's some strong character conflict here. I'm especially attracted to the growth potential I see in the protagonist over the course of the book.

Rick Daley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Authors Write Literary Agency. I have reviewed your query for Birthright, and I’m sorry to say that I do not feel that I am the best agent to represent your work at this time.

Please keep in mind that there are many talented agents out there, and opinions are subjective based on individual preferences, workload, and market climate.

Don’t be afraid to research other agents and query those that you feel are best suited to represent your work. Best of luck!

Regards,

Daley Agent for a Day

Polenth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I'd be interested in seeing more of your story. Please send me the first three chapters of your book.

--
Polenth

[[Though this is a common premise, the query hinted at strong worldbuilding and a multicultural theme. It's enough that I'd give it a chance, but the writing will have to be excellent to carry it off.]]

Agent KES said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I am not able to offer you representation at this time. Best of luck,

Agent KES

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid I am not the right agent to represent your work.

Agent99

Jenn Johansson said...

Dear Author -

I am intrigued, please send me the full ms in a .doc attachment at your convenience.

JJ

EJ Lange said...

Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not right for me at this time. Good luck in your search for representation.

Agent Erin

Nik said...

Thank you for your query, but I'm going to have to pass for now.

Cindy said...

Dear Author,

Thank your for submitting your query. Unfortunately, this project is not for me right now.

All the best,
Cindy

(this project actually intrigued me--it was number 6 on my list)

Gwen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to query me. I find your idea intriguing, and would be very willing to read more.
Please re-send your query in the body of an email, and attach the first three chapters of your manuscript.

Regards,

Gwen

***

(Side note: despite the many other agents here who feel that this story is partly clichéd, this story intrigued me enough to request a partial.)

Jen C said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to the Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever. I regret that, at this time, your project is not quite what I’m looking for. I wish you the best of luck in your continuing search for representation.
Sincerely,
Jen C.

:)Ash said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your interest in my agency. Unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for you at this time. Best wishes as you continue your search.

Sincerely yours,

:)Ash

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit.

I regret to inform you that at this time I would like to pass on your book.

Best of luck in the future,

Regards,
Agent for a Day, Bookworm Megs

Kristi said...

Thank you for your query. I don't feel this is right for me but I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,
Kristi

Christine Rose said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

Craven said...

Thank you for your consideration, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck, Craven

Merry Monteleone said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Only Literary Agency Insane Enough To Trust Me With Queries. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pass.

Best of luck,

Merry


This is another one that's subjective... there was nothing wrong with the query at all - if I was an agent interested in this genre, I'd likely request it.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

While this project shows merit, I'm afraid it didn't fully resonate with me. I feel sure that another agent will feel differently, and wish you the best of luck.

-Agent Pro Tempore

StrugglingToMakeIt said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Best,

Agent

Disgruntled Bear said...

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately I am going to have to pass at this time.
I wish you the best of luck with another agent.

Sincerely,
Agent

(this would have gotten a partial request if I'd been allowed more than 5 picks; you made my short list).

Harsh Critic said...

The many names mentioned in your query confused me. I'm too tired to sort them all out.

Sorry, not for me.

Tara Ryan said...

Dear Author,
Thank you so much for submitting your work to me. Unfortunately, Birthright is not a good fit for me at this time. I wish you much luck in your writing endeavors.
Agent-for-a-day

ikmar said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. Sorry, but it is not for me.

Sincerely,
Agent for the Day

Rebecca Knight said...

Dear "Birthright,"

Thank you for your query, and for thinking of my agency. I was very intrigued by your query and would love to see the full manuscript. Please reply and attach it as a .doc file. I should respond back within 4-6 weeks at the latest. Thank you for your patience. I look forward to reading BIRTHRIGHT.

Sincerely,

Rebecca Knight

ai-hua said...

Interesting, but probably not something I would enjoy, which means I can't sell it. Form rejection.

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for thinking of me, your novel sounds interesting but it's not for me at this time.

Good luck with your search for an agent.

Kind regards,

amyandnick

DeadlyAccurate said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your query and I apologize for this form reply.

I regret I have to pass on many interesting projects due to time constraints. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.


Sincerely,

DeadlyAccurate

Jeanne Tomlin said...

Form rejection

Kavanaugh and Byrne's LA said...

Dear Author

Thank you opportunity to consider your work at Kavanaugh and Byrne’s Literary Agency.
Although we do we not feel that we are the agency to take this forward we did find the idea an interesting one.
We wish you every success with this and other ventures

Flower Kavanaugh

Matilda McCloud said...

Thank you for your query. This sounds intriguing. Please send along the first three chapters.

With best regards,

Matilda McCloud

Leslie said...

Dear Author,

Your query is interesting but not one that I would be able to represent.

Best wishes, Leslie

Katy said...

I would love to see more of this project. Please e-mail me the entire manuscript.
Thanks,
Katy

Endless Secrets said...

Dear Author,

I am very interested in your novel entitled Birthright, the entire premise is very intriguing.
I would be glad to see the first fifty pages and a detailed synopsis along with an SASE via snail mail.

Thank you for taking the time to query me.

-Lea

Bane of Anubis said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission, but it isn't right for me. Best of luck,

Bane

(reasoning: I need more of the forest and less of the trees in this one - i.e., more background)

Pap said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in my agency. However, I will not be requesting any further materials from you at this time. Please note that submissions are a very subjective business and my comments are not a critique on your writing ability. I strongly encourage you to continue your search for an agent and wish you all the best.

Your sincerely,

Make-believe Agency

KC in SF said...

Thank you for your query. While it was well-written, I am not currently taking on fantasy or science fiction.

best wishes,

KC in SF

KathyF said...

Dear Author of Query #38,

Thank you for your query, but BIRTHRIGHT isn't right for me.

KathyF

David de Beer said...

Dear Author,

thanks for your interest but unfortunately I am going to pass this time.

Sincerely,
David de Beer

Cat Hellisen said...

Dear Author

I like the sound of this. Please send a brief synopsis and the first 50 pages attached as a document.

Best,
Cat

Adam Heine said...

This sounds pretty cool, but I have to pass. The concept isn't as tight as it could be, I think. The only result of her being the "secret heir" seems to be an arranged marriage. I get the sense she cares more about marrying someone she loves than about caring for "her own people".

Eden said...

Thanks for the opportunity but I'm afraid I'll have to pass on representing this piece.

Best of luck with your writing.

~Eden

Thomas said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not appropriate for my current needs. I wish you luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,
Tally

MK said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission. After careful consideration, I've decided this manuscript isn't for us at this time.

Good luck with your search.

Best,
Agent For a Day

CJK said...

Please email the first three chapters for consideration. Best wishes, CJK

Melinda said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but unfortunately this project isn't right for me. Best of luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,

Melinda

donnas said...

While your story has some interesting ideas, it is not something we are looking for at this time.

Best of luck.

Krista said...

Author,

I am very interested in your novel Birthright. Please send me the first 50 pages of your novel.

Thanks

bookshop said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent submission. Please send the full manuscript as an attachment, either in .doc or .rtf form. Alternately you may upload and share a Google document with my email, bookshopliterary@gmail.com.

I am intrigued by the universe of your novel and looking forward to reading more. Expect a response within 2-3 weeks.

Regards,

Bookshop

_________

(Hi!
Things that won me over:
- the voicing
- I love vast town conspiracies
- I have a thing for Lynxes, okay :D
- the wrong-about-first-impressions trope of the love interest
- that you combine a post-apocalyptic scenario with what appears to be a kind of quest romance for your female heroine.
- that this is a universe where the absence and conversely the presence of animals is acutely felt and experienced. I can't wait to see that! :D

Great query! :D )

PPP said...

Dear Author,

While some elements confused me (How can someone be a secret heir to a city? Why be so loathe to marry Etienne in the first place? Why are people kept in bubble cities?), I'm interested in your manuscript enough to hope it ends up being believable. Your mc's change of heart partway through the story is what intrigues me.

Plus, I like the word "Timber." I don't know, I just do.

Please send fifty pages along.

Signed,
PPP

Madhat said...

Dear Author,

Marry me. I mean... please send your full manuscript to me at once. And don't send it to anyone else, because I couldn't bear that.

Love,

Agent

Sage said...

Dear Birthright,

The novel sounds promising, but I don't feel it will stand out enough in the market. Another agent may feel differently.

Thanks,
Sage

Selene said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for contacting Selene Literary. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that this project is not right for us. We wish you the best of luck in finding an agent that is as enthusiastic about this book as it deserves.

Best regards,
Selene Da Agent
Selene Literary

Nay said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.
I found aspects of your story very intriguing, however I am not convinced that it is the right project for me.
I’m sure your project will find a home somewhere.
Best of luck to you

-Nay

dhole said...

So, the point of this game is to pick out the queries that worked, and ask for more material for those only.

Now, my guess is that this hasn't sold, or at least that there were other books that I've replied to with a rejection that are likelier to have sold.

And yet, I'm going to say yes on this one. It's got some well-worn plot elements -- The Lost Princess, a closed society lying about the world outside, a love triangle, and so on -- but they seem put together well, and it's the sort of book I like reading.

So, yeah: This, I'd like to see more of.

Jeni said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I sincerely appreciate the opportunity to review your proposal, and found the premise for your manuscript intriguing. However, I’m afraid that the manuscript does not meet my needs at this time. Please do continue to send your work to other agents, as someone else may feel differently.
Best of luck in your publishing endeavors,
Jeni

Sol said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not typically represent Young Adult fiction and am unable to request a partial at this time.

Best of luck to you in your search for representation.

Kind regards,

Sol Nima

Julie Weathers said...

Dear Author,

This sound interesting. Please read my submission guidelines and send me a partial.

I look forward to hearing from you.

J.M. Agent

(This one could be cliche, but I am betting you pull this off. So, I'd be willing to take a chance and I don't think I'd be wrong.)

Jessumby said...

Dear Author

Thank you for sending me your query. I regret to inform you that it does not suit the needs of my list at this time.

Regards, Jessumby

theflightytemptress said...

Dear Birthright,

Thank you for your submission, but unfortunately it’s not for me. Publishing is a very subjective business, though, and another agent may feel differently. Best of luck in your continued search.

The query is a little confusing. Though I can find the plot, it's difficult to pick and seems to meander. And I'm not sure of the voice.

Yours,

Kat Brauer

thin said...

o
Dear Author,
While it seems like an interesting premise for a book, I'm sorry to say that I cannot take on the project. Thank you for considering me, and best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
Thin

Brigita said...

Thank you for sending me your query. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.

Keri Ford said...

Thank you for submitting, but unfortunately I didn’t connect with this story idea.

Good Luck,
Keri


<><><><><><>
Looks like the story will be well written, but it didn't grab me to make me want to read more.

RW said...

Dear Author:

Thank you very much for your query. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to consider your work for representation. As you know, it’s a competitive market these days, and I don’t believe I have the right relationships to sell this project successfully. I do wish you luck in finding an agent and thank you for considering me.

Yours truly,

RW

The Classic Carol said...

Dear Author of Birthright:
Thank you for your query. I found your premise intriguing. Unfortunately, it is not right for me at this time. I encourage you to keep writing. Best wishes as you pursue an agent better suited for your work.

Poppy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I liked the basic premise but you soon lost me with all the names and places. I would suggest you tighten this query up. Best of luck with other agents.

Agent

Lisa R said...

Dear Birthright:

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately your project is not right for me. Another agent may feel differently. Best of luck,

Lisa R

Beth said...

Dear Author,

Your premise is very intriguing, and I wish you the best of luck in finding representation. Your work does not meet my guidelines at this time, but I encourage you to keep looking-- I know the right agent will be happy to hear from you!

Sincerely,

Agent

Deniz Bevan said...

Thank you for your query, but I wouldn't be the right agent in this instance.
I wish you luck finding the right home for your work.
Sincerely,
Ms Agent Agency

Dale - Las Vegas said...

Thank you for your submission but it doesn't seem right for me at this time.

Good luck in the future.

kdrausin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I was intrigued by your query however at this time my client list is full.

I wish you luck on your writing journey.

Sincerely,

KDrausin (made it to my final 3 for one opening)

Jabez said...

Thank your for your query. I am interested in your manuscript. Please email me the first 30-40 pages.

Sherry Ficklin said...

Dear Author,
While I'm intrigued by your work, I'm not sure I'm the right agent to represent it. Please feel free to think of me for future work.

Sincerely,
Agent Faux

Soratian said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query, and I'll like to read a partial. Please send me your first 50 pages, accompanied by a detailed synopsis. These should be in the usual manuscript formatting standards.

Regards,
Soratian

(Comments: While it's not exactly an outstandingly original plot, the query competently sells it, and it's quite correctly pitched at the YA market.

I'll definitely want to read more, and it all depends on whether the writing is good and Noelle is a compelling character.)

John said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for giving me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, it's not something I think I can sell at present. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.

JuJu said...

Dear Author,

Though your project shows some promise and sounds interesting, unfortunately it is just not the right one for me. Please keep in mind that appeal as a novel is entirely subjective – so keep at it!

Sincerely,
JuJu

(the story idea is just a tad overused.

Dara said...

Dear Birthright,

Please send me the first 50 pages of your manuscript.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Thanks,

Dara

Specifics: At first I was unsure, but I really like the premise of the story.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Form rejection.


Too many characters, not enough plot.

CarrieK said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but your project does not meet our needs at this time.

CarrieK

lucy in the sky said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not believe I am the best person to represent your work.

Tree said...

Dear Author:
I want to thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. Unfortunately, I did not connect well enough with your project to pursue it further. As I'm sure you know, agenting is a very subjective business. Although your project didn't fit with my particular list, another agent may respond very differently.
Please accept my best wishes for success in your writing career and finding the perfect advocate for your work.
Sincerely,
Tree

Fairduncan said...

Dear Author

Thanks for querying us. I regret I have to pass on this one, but wish you every success in finding representation.

Cordially Yours,
Agent

Sun Up said...

Not currently representing YA. Thanks for the submission and best of luck in find representation.


Regards,
Alicia

Janeal C. Falor said...

Thank you for the opportunity to look at you work. Unfortunately, I don't feel this is the right project for me.

Heather Harper said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. After careful consideration, I regret that I’m unable to request your manuscript at this time.

Best,
Agent for a day

Laurie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I have decided to decline representing you for this manuscript.

I think you have a very compelling story line and you made it to the second round in my consideration, and the only reason I am declining is the mandatory limit of only accepting five manuscripts.

Best of luck to you! I'm sure you will find representation soon.

Laurie

Kats said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query. While Birthright sounds intriguing and has a strong plot, I regret to say it's not the right project for me.

Best,
Agent for a Day, Kats

Sophie W. said...

Dear Author of Birthright,

Although your work shows merit, I cannot request further materials at this time. Keep in mind that this business is terribly subjective, and you'll probably get the chance to thumb your nose at me in the future.

Love,

Sophie

Venus Vaughn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, your project doesn't meet my needs at this time.
Best of luck to you in your writing career.

~Venus Vaughn

Amethyst Greye Alexander said...

Dear Author,

I've reviewed your query but am afraid your project isn't a good fit with the works I represent. I hope you won't let this discourage you, however, as every agent has different tastes and you're sure to find representation that will better suit your needs.

Thank you for considering me.
Amethyst Adams

Wandering Spirit said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Unfortunately your book is not of a genre that I am best suited to represent. However, all writing is of value and I wish you the best in your endeavours.

Best wishes

Agent for a Day

Note: I feel that it didn’t have enough of a unique edge to it to warrant a request of the manuscript, sorry.

Maryann Miller said...

Thank you for considering out agency for representation. Unfortunately, we are going to have to pass.

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

It's in interesting project, but it's not quite right for me. I must therefore step aside and encourage you to submit elsewhere.

Best,
Agent

JohnO said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Getabo Publishing said...

I like this very much, and although I found the plot a little confusing on first read, I shortlisted it - BUT haven't selected it in my top 5, when comparing with others here.

Good luck with your novel, whether it is already published or not.

***
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately we do not think that your book would be a likely prospect for our list.

We regret that the large number of submissions we receive makes it impossible to offer individual comment. We believe it is more important to read and evaluate every query / submission we receive with due consideration.

We appreciate you thinking of Getabo Creative Publishing, and wish you the best of luck with your manuscript and future writing endeavors.

Sincerely.
The Editors
Getabo Creative Publishing

Bertha Lavelle said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid I don't represent Young adult fiction/fantasy,
All the best,
Bertha

Patti K. said...

Thank you for your submission but I do not believe that it is right for me at this time. Good luck in your quest for the perfect agent.

Patti K.

Lupina said...

Please send me the first 30 pages of your manuscript.

Best regards,
The Lupina Agency

Sarah D said...

Sounds interesting. I would like to read more.

RK said...

Dear Author,

Unfortunately I've reached the limit of requests. Otherwise, I'd definitely request.

Keep querying!

Agent-for-the-day

Sara Cox Landolt said...

Dear Author,
I received and read your query. I'm going to pass. I think you've got interesting ideas here and I encourage you to press on!
Best to you,
Agent SCL

Larry Writer said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, unfortunately this is not the right project for me.

Best regards,

Larry

Savannah Pens said...

Dear Author: Thank you for your query. However, I must pass. Best wishes. Savannah Pens Agent

Gregory said...

Dear Author;

Please submit a 30-page partial and a detailed synopsis. Thank you.

Cordially,

Agent Gregory

[Sentences don't begin with numbers, but we'll overlook that. I'm a sucker for The Chronicles of Narnia stuff, and going into the Wild kind of smacks of that. I also like "familiar toads in alien ponds." And this one has a nice twist -- good hook. The moral dilemma. Good query. But... can you write? (smile) Love to see this one.]

Marilyn Peake said...

Dear Author of BIRTHRIGHT:

Thank you for your query. I regret to inform you that I cannot offer you representation at this time. Please do not in any way interpret this as meaning that your book doesn’t have merit or that you should give up on writing. Follow your dreams. I wish you all the best in your search for a literary agent.

Sincerely,
Writerly Angst Literary Agent

Moth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query to Moth's Literary Agency. While your story sounds interesting, I'm afraid it's just not right for us. Best of luck in your writing career.

Sincerely,
Moth

Lindsey said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission, but it's not right for me.

This kind of fantasy is outside my realm of expertise and it's not something I'm looking to expand into.

I wish you the best of luck in your search for representation.

Regards,

Lindsey

The Writers Canvas said...

Thanks for your submission. At the present time, it doesn't fit our list. I wish you the best with another agent who might be a better fit.

Elaine

Barbara Webb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sharing this, but I'm going to pass.

Best of luck!

Barbara

Lucy said...

Dear Birthright: I'd like very much to read the first fifty pages of your novel. Please send them to me along with a copy of your query letter and a SASE with sufficient postage if you'd like your work returned. Regards, L.C.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Raven56 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting. Please attach the first 50 pages of your manuscript as a word document to this email.

Sincerely,

Raven56

PCB said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. We are not in a position to represent you at this time, but wish you all the very best in your writing endeavors.

Sincerely,
PCB

cwsherwoodedits said...

Thank you for your query. I'm going to have to pass.

KareFree Kennels said...

Birthright

Sorry, not for me.

Best of luck,
Sheryl

Maricar said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. However, your work does not fit our needs at this time. Best of luck.

Horserider said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for allowing us to consider your work. I’m sorry to say that this is not something we are interested in at this time. We receive hundreds of submissions every week and, unfortunately, cannot take them all on. This is a very subjective business and I wish you luck on your journey to publication.

Sincerely,

Horserider Literary Agency

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank your for your interest in our agency. However, I'm afraid this isn't quite right for us. Best of luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,

Agent.

(Tempted. Pages might have changed my mind. The query, as is stands, lacked a focused sense of the protagonist.)

Just_Me said...

You're on my MAYBE list as I finish reading queries. I love the voice, the concept, and that this sounds fresh. Now it's a matter of making sure I love it enough, love it on the second and third read, and think I can pitch it to an editor.

Let me finish the other queries and I'll let you know!

Audrey E said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for query. I'm afraid that this piece isn't right for me and I will have to pass at this time.

Yours,
Audrey

Lipstick Lizzie said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your recent query. Please send the full manuscript. I look forward to reading your work.

Lizzie

(This is going to hinge so much on the execution (as though other stories don’t, but hopefully you get what I’m saying). I’d want to take a look at the writing and how the world is constructed.)

super agent nicole said...

Dear author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit a query. Unfortunately, I am unable to offer representation at this time.

Thank you,
Nicole

note: i really like the premise, but i don't think your description does it justice; the pacing of the description seems off somehow

TFree said...

Thank you for considering me. Unfortunately, this piece isn’t right for me at this time. Good luck with this and future endeavors.

TF

sKim said...

Thank you for sending this original proposal. We regret that it doesn't suit our needs at the moment. Best of luck to you.

Newbee said...

Request...

Taymalin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this story is not for me at this time. Best of luck with your future endeavors,

Taymalin

Jeannie said...

Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately your project is not what we’re looking to represent at this time. Best of luck.
- Jeannie

Note: This was close for me. I found that the many worldbuilding details in the query may have distracted me from being able to form a clear hook.

austere said...

Dear Author #38

Regrets.

Good luck with your writing.

Regards,

ros said...

Sorry. You have some good ideas but I'm worried that the prose in the book may as lumbering as it is in the query.

Elizabeth said...

Dear Author,

While your premise sounds interesting, I do not feel it stands out enough from other works in the genre. I must regretfully pass.

Best Regards,

Agent Elizabeth

Janny said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me with BIRTHRIGHT. Unfortunately, I'm not the agent for this book, but I do wish you luck submitting it elsewhere.

Sincerely,
Janny

Shawntelle said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission today. I am afraid I must pass since the premise didn't grab me. Good luck in seeking representation.

Sincerely,

Shawntelle

Ego said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your work. I regret I am not sufficiently enthusiastic to represent you at present. Note that this is a personal reaction and you may have success elsewhere.

Regards,

Ego

Ulysses said...

Thanks for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I don't feel I am the agent to represent this work.

Thermocline said...

Thank you for your query. I do not believe I am the best agent for your project. I wish you the best with finding a home for your novel.

(This is a strong query, but the story didn’t grab me. What else can you tell me that is intriguing? The secret heir didn’t do it.)

Marybeth said...

Dear Author,

I regret to inform you that I am unable to represent your manuscript. Unfortunately I am not interested in this genre. Best of luck to you in the future.

Sincerely,
Marybeth

Professor I.M. Diphthong said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately this is not what I am looking for.

Anonymous said...

Writer,
Thank you for your query, though I don’t think I’m interested in taking your story idea. Keep on writing.
-Thanks,
Suzuki Volkeswagon

Agent Yard Oaf said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. You have some interesting ideas, but you didn’t focus enough on the central conflict to interest me in the story. Please re-write your query and submit again.

Best wishes,

Agent Yard Oaf

Tyler said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but as it stands this isn't quite unique enough for me to be able to sell.
Best of luck,
Agent T

rainsinger said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. However I must decline your novel at this time.

Best wishes

Rain agency

Tamara said...

Dear Birthright Author,

Thanks for your query. I love the world you have created, and I want to see more of it.

Please send the full ms at your convenience.

Best wishes,
Agent for a Day, Tamara

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I’ll pass on this one. Good luck in your endeavors.

Regards,

Lindsey S.

RB Ripley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for thinking of me with your recent query for BIRTHRIGHT.

I am intrigued by both the story's concept and the themes you're investigating and would like to read a full synopsis and the first three chapters. Please send these via response to this email in either MS Word or pdf format.

Again, thank you for thinking of me and I look forward to reading the first three chapters of BIRTHRIGHT.

Sincerely,

Agent For a Day

[request reason: This is a concisely and compelling written query. I was provided a clear context for the story, the main characters and the dramatic question. Thank you for sharing this with everyone!]

Rubenesque Writer said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for thinking of me, but I don't think I am the right agent to represent this manuscript. Best of luck.

Sincerely,
RW Lit

gypsyscarlett said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your story is not right for me.

I wish you much luck finding a suitable agent.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Kaiscomet said...

Thank you for your submission. I regret to inform you that I am passing on your project at this time. However, I was impressed by your letter and your experience. I would be interested in seeing other projects that you have in the future.
Sincerely

Mira said...

Dear Author,

You've written a very good query, your writing style is very good, and this is an intricate, interesting plot with a strong female heroine - a definite contender in the YA market.

I am not requesting a partial for the odd reason that I think it might be hard to sell this to a publisher in today's market. I think publishers aren't taking many risks on new authors, and the fact that this might appeal mostly to girls could make it a harder sell.

I could be wrong about this.

If I'm not, I think the key here is persistance, and continuing to publish short stories until you have enough of a proven track record that a publisher would take a chance. Also, since you're already in the field, networking wouldn't hurt!

Personally, I love this kind of YA fiction, and I sincerely hope I am reading your story in print someday. I suspect I will. It sounds very good - and anything very good will eventually be published, imho.

Best of luck to you!

Mira

jnantz said...

Dear Author:

I am intrigued by your query. Please email me the first 50 pages, along with a two-page synopsis, attached as a Microsoft Word Document. I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards,
Jnantz

Cristy at Living Donor 101 said...

Thanks for your submission. This was a difficult decision, but I have to decline representation. The query, while well written and defined, didn't grab me as much as I would've liked.

Eva Ulian said...

Thank you for your submission, unfortunately the story did not seem "approachable" and left me standing on the outside.

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