Nathan Bransford, Author


Monday, April 13, 2009

Be An Agent for a Day: Query #36

This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here

Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!



Dear Agent for a Day,

I understand from Nathan Bransford's blog that you are seeking queries for review as part of the 'Be an Agent for a Day' event. I have a 90,000 word complete MS entitled ROSIE'S CHILD available for your consideration.

Motherhood, they say, is a biological fact, while fatherhood is a social construction. While you may wonder who your father is, there's never any question who your mother is.

At least, that's what most people think.

When Rosie Martin, a good-time girl living and drinking in West Cork, Ireland, in the 1940s, falls pregnant outside of wedlock, her first thought is for her childless best friend, Elizabeth McCarthy, unable to conceive after six years of marriage. Together, they hatch a plan to organise an adoption in a society wholly dependent on secrets and lies, where there are no adoption laws and where unmarried mothers can expect to be incarcerated and enslaved.

And when Jack McCarthy dies suddenly in 2007, his daughter Hannah is bequeathed a house she didn't know he owned. Desperate to find out the secrets her father took to his grave, Hannah embarks on a quest to find out how he came to own a house belonging to his mother's reclusive neighbour, and uncovers a strange love story she could never have imagined in an era she struggles to understand.

The novel is best classified as literary fiction and is set in Ireland, alternating between the 1940s and the present day. I am previously unpublished and ROSIE'S CHILD is my first novel.

Thank you for your time,
Author

STATS: 29% request rate






326 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 326   Newer›   Newest»
Josephine Damian said...

form rejection

AgentMan said...

form rejection

PPP said...

Dear Author,

Awesome. Send along fifty pages of lies and intrigue for me to gobble down.

Signed,
PPP

hannah said...

Dear Author,

While your premise intrigues me, I'm afraid I'm rarely hooked by parallel plot lines. However, that's quite subjective, and I have no doubt you'll find a home for this. Best of luck!

hannah

kaseee said...

Dear Author,

Your project is not without merit, but it isn't right for us at this time. Keep in mind this is a subjective business and another agent may feel differently.

Best of luck,

Agent

scj said...

Sorry, but this isn't right for me. The plot lacked specifics that grabbed my attention. Best of luck.

abouttothunder said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Congratulations, I’m hooked. Please send me the full manuscript at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,

Agent-for-a-day Sara

sraasch said...

Dear Author,

Way intriguing premise, but not my genre. I have no doubt you'll get lots of requests, though!

Thanks!

Kitti said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I regret to inform you that I am going to have to pass on this, but please keep me in mind for your future projects.

Best of luck,
Kitti

beth said...

Dear Author,

Although I appreciate your submission, I'm sorry but it just isn't for me. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.

Sincerely,
beth

(Reasoning: I don't know why, it just didn't resonate with me.)

thelifter said...

Dear Author:

You had me at 'incarcerated and enslaved'.

I don't like the title: reminds me of Rosemarie's Baby. But, I just finished reading The Handmaid's Tale and my family is from Cork, so I'll throw you a bone.

Send over the first 50 and a synopsis.

Regards,

Mr. Snark

Cat said...

Dear Author,

I want this. Send the whole manuscript right away (rtf-file, please).

Sincerely,
Cat

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, even though your book sounds interesting, it's not up my alley. Agenting is subjective, though, and I wish you the best of luck!

Sincerely,
Megan

Derek said...

Dear Author,

This is promising, but I'm having to be selective about what I request.

I'll pass on this one.

Agent For A Day.

Christine Rose said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

Casey said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your time and consideration. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent ROSIE'S CHILD and your career as a writer.

Best wishes,

Casey

***

Not my genre, but great query and premise!

Melissa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I don't think I"m the right agent for this book. I wish you luck.

Melissa


Thoughts: Good writing, but the plot seems shaky.

Sophie W. said...

Dear Author of Rosie's Child,

Although your work shows merit, I cannot request further materials at this time. Keep in mind that this business is terribly subjective, and you'll probably get the chance to thumb your nose at me in the future.

Love,

Sophie

jimnduncan said...

Please send the first 30 pages of your story as an attached word document. Please include the original query in your email and put "requested material" in the subject heading. I look forward to reading your pages.

(reason: while the plot is nothing out of the ordinary, I'm intrigued by the 1940's Ireland setting and the treatment of unwed mothers back then. This will have to grab me pretty quick though for continued reading)

Madison said...

Dear Author,

Thank you so much for submitting your work and considering me to represent it. While the story sounds quite interesting, I am afraid it does not fit my list at this point in time and I must regretfully pass. I know rejections can be hard to take, but please keep submitting and following your dream.

Best of luck in your agent hunt!

Sincerely,

Madison

Reason for rejection: Confusion. Who's the MC?

DebraLSchubert said...

Dear Author,

This is all you need for your query:

When Jack McCarthy dies suddenly in 2007, his daughter Hannah is bequeathed a house she didn't know he owned. Desperate to find out the secrets her father took to his grave, Hannah embarks on a quest to find out how he came to own a house belonging to his mother's reclusive neighbour, and uncovers a strange love story she could never have imagined in an era she struggles to understand.

That said, I'd like to see your first 50 pages.

Sincerely,

Agent for a Day

Onovello said...

Dear Author:

Many thanks for your query. While I'm not enthusiastic enough about the project to request it, I'm sure another agent will feel differently, and I encourage you to keep looking.

With best wishes for success in finding representation for your work,

Onovello

Jeni said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chanelley said...

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not what I’m looking for at this time. However, do continue to query widely. After all, it does only take one agent to say yes!
All the best,
Agent for the day

Keri Ford said...

Thank you for submitting, but unfortunately I didn’t connect with this story idea.

Good Luck,
Keri

<><><><>
While the story sounds interesting, it wasn't enough for me to request. I think your writing is strong and your voice interesting, but the story itself doesn't sound like something that would be up my alleyway.

Caroline said...

Dear Author:

Your description of the manuscript confused me. I regret to say that I cannot represent this work.

Best of luck,

Agent Caroline

Nixy Valentine said...

Dear Author:

I'm sorry to say I wasn't hooked enough by your premise to request more.

Notes: Rose's Child reminded me of Rosemary's Baby, and I'm not sure that's a good parallel for your type of book. Also, although Hannah appears to be your main character, she doesn't seem very active, instead uncovering a story and struggling to understand something. I'd rather see her DOING something in a pitch.

kdrausin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for requesting my representation. I applaud your determination and effort in completing your novel. Your story is not right for me at this time; however I encourage you to keep writiing and pursuing publication.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

Sincerely,

KDrausin

romoak said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. While aspects of this story are intriguing, this story is not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your continued efforts. Please keep in mind that other agents are different.

-- The premise is great, but the format of the query really threw me. I got really into the first para, then we get a whole new set of characters & plot.

Agent X said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to query. I'm afraid this isn't the right piece for me, but please query me again in the future. I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Agent X

Cindy said...

Dear Author,

The idea in your query has potential, however your project is not right for me at this time.

All the best,
Cindy

DeadlyAccurate said...

This is really good, and I would ask for pages if I hadn't already used my five up already.

quixotic said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, however, I do not feel excited enough about, ROSIE'S CHILD to request anything further.

Good luck in your search for an agent.

Quixotic

Ramen with cheese said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for allowing RJM Agency to consider your work, but I’m afraid it’s not a good fit for our list. We wish you every bit of luck in your search for representation.

RJM

Ieva said...

"not right for me"

Rick Daley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Authors Write Literary Agency. I have reviewed your query for ROSIE'S CHILD, and I’m sorry to say that I do not feel that I am the best agent to represent your work at this time.

Please keep in mind that there are many talented agents out there, and opinions are subjective based on individual preferences, workload, and market climate.

Don’t be afraid to research other agents and query those that you feel are best suited to represent your work. Best of luck!

Regards,

Daley Agent for a Day

K. Andrew Smith said...

Dear author,

Thank you for your submission, Rosie's Child. Unfortunately, it's not quite right for me. I wish you good fortune in your quest for an agent.

Sincerely,

K. Andrew Smith

Colorado Writer said...

Dear Author,
Sorry, not right for my list.
Best,
Agent Name

Pinkie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenn Johansson said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for letting me review your query. Unfortunately, I don't think this is a good fit for me at this time. I am very intrigued by the storyline, but I found the query a bit confusing.

Best of luck!
JJ

PurpleClover said...

Dear Author:

I did not feel there was a strong enough hook for me. Thank you for your submission.

Regards,
PC

Monika said...

Thank you for your submission, but I do not think this project is right us. This is a subjective business and other agencies will feel differently. We wish you every success with your project.

[Loved it. But this contest is like a buffet: too much good stuff and not enough plate to hold it all.]

Barb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.

All the best,
Barb

jjdebenedictis said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent query; discovering new talent is one of the joys of being a literary agent, and I am always honoured to have the opportunity to read a writer's best work.

Please accept my regrets, however, as I won't be offering to represent this novel. I apologize for informing you of this using a form letter, but the volume of mail I receive makes it impractical for me to give personalized rejections.

I wish you the very best luck in finding a literary agent whose enthusiasm will bring your book the success it deserves!

Sincerely,
J. J. DeGoblin

~~~~~~~
For your reference, here are the most common reasons why I decline certain queries. Please note that if your submission was very good, my reasons for rejecting it were probably much subtler than the items on this list and cannot be put quickly into words. Again, I apologize for this form letter, but I cannot invest the time to critique those submissions I have chosen to not represent. Thank you for your understanding.


Most common reasons why I decline manuscripts:

[ ]--The manuscript is in a genre which I don't represent

[ ]--The query appears to be a non-personalized mass mailing

[ ]--The query/manuscript's presentation was worryingly unpolished
(E.g. Many spelling, grammar, punctuation or homophone errors; a non-standard format)

[ X ]--The writing doesn't seem polished enough
(This improves with practice; your next novel may be excellent)

[ ]--The plot doesn't sound compelling enough
(Again, this improves with practice and self-education)

[ ]--The plot sounds too similar to something book-buyers have already seen


Comments, if any:
This sounds like it could be a very good story indeed, but your query letter has some stilted phrasing, and I worry that may be true of the novel itself.

Lucy A muse ision said...

Dear Author,
Please send me the full manuscript.
I look forward to reading it.
Best,

Lucy A muse ision
Fictitious Agent

wickerman said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Rosie's Child does not fit my needs at this time. Thank you for your time.


Best of Luck

The Wickerman

Nathan Bransford's Boss

Karen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I am afraid that it is not for me. I do think the premise is interesting and I wish you luck in finding representation.

Karen

lesleylsmith said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter.
Unfortunately, your novel is not a good fit for me.
Good luck!
-Lesley
p.s. This is promising. I would have requested a partial if the author had clarified the relation between the two timelines.

dhole said...

Dear Author, thanks for your query. Unfortunately, it's not right for my list, best of luck, etc.

Bija Andrew Wright said...

Thank you for your query, but I have to pass on this.

brian_ohio said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best,

Brian

Sasha said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Good luck and yours truly,
AftD

Notes: this story is not to my personal taste, but that isn't to say it won't be to others'.

Jean said...

Thanks for your submission. I'm sorry, but it's just not what I'm looking for at this time.

Vicky said...

Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately, this project is not right for us. Best of luck finding representation for your work.

All best.

Dawn G. said...

Dear Author,

Unfortunately, I am unable to offer you representation at this time. Thank you for submitting your work for consideration. Please keep me in mind for future projects.

Kindest Regards,

D. Agent

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me at this time.

Sincerely,
Amy

Heather said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but it's not for me.

Good luck!
Heather

SammyStewart said...

Please Send Manuscript

sally apokedak said...

if i hadn't used up my five slots already I'd have asked for this.

bridge said...

Dear Author,
Thanks for your query. Sorry I'm going to pass.
Sincerely,
Bridge
On a personal note, this is not concise or clearly written. I think the story could actually be good, I liked the premise, I liked the possibilities that were alluded to, but it was murky, no sense of character. It didn't pull me in with a quirky heroine, or a friendship I could feel, not be told about. I liked the idea though so with a bit of work on the query I might be hooked.
Hope this helps,
Bridge

Cassandra said...

Dear Author,

I was most intrigued by your novel Rosie's Child and as such, I am please to offer you representation for it. Please send the completed manuscript in the form of a word document as soon as possible to my personal email [redacted] with the subject “ROSIE'S CHILD request”

I look forward to receiving your manuscript and beginning our author/agent partnership.

Regards,
Cassandra

Susan said...

Dear Author,
I find your query intriguing and I would love to read the first fifty pages of your novel.

Signed,
Agent for A Day

spinney said...

I would love to read the first 50pp of your manuscript. Please forward via email.

Thanks,

AgentGirl

suki said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. At this time I would be interested in reading more. Please send me the first 50 pages of the manuscript and a synopsis as word attachments at your earliest convenience.

Regards,
Suki

Reasoning: There's something in the parallel plot lines that intrigues me. I'm not sure of the writing but I'm interested in seeing more.

Agent KES said...

Dear Author,

Please send the first 50 pages of your manuscript. I look forward to reading more.

Sincerely,
Agent KES

EJ Lange said...

Author,

Thank you for your query. While I like the setting of your novel, the subject matter is not my area of expertise, and I'm afraid I wouldn't be the best person to represent you. Best of luck.

Agent Erin

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid I am not the right agent to represent your work.

Agent99

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid I am not the right agent to represent your work.

Agent99

Nik said...

Thank you for your query. While your premise intrigues me, I'm going to have to pass at this time. I don't feel I'm the right person to champion your work.

ccallicotte4 said...

Thank you for sending me your query. I appreciate you considering me.

I reviewed your proposal and unfortunately am going to pass on representing it. Please keep in mind that this is a subjective business, and another agent may feel differently. I encourage you to query widely.

Best of luck to you.

Mystery Robin said...

I'd be interested in seeing this. Please send me a partial, 30 pages or 3 chapters.

Thank you,
Robin

Superfast said...

Dear Author,

I'm interested in reading more. Please send me the full manuscript.

Thank you.

Jen C said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to the Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever. I regret that, at this time, your project is not quite what I’m looking for. I wish you the best of luck in your continuing search for representation.
Sincerely,
Jen C.

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit.

I regret to inform you that at this time I would like to pass on your book.

Your novel actually appealed to me a great deal; I am finding I have to be very selective.

Best of luck in the future,

Regards,
Agent for a Day, Bookworm Megs

Kristi said...

Thank you for your query. I don't feel this is right for me but I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,
Kristi

Anonymous said...

No thank you. Best of luck in your endeavors.

-Agent Pro Tempore

Kelly Guentner said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the query. I regret to inform you that this is not the right work for me to represent at this time.

I wish you luck in your future writing career.

Sincerely,
Kelly Guentner

Merry Monteleone said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Only Literary Agency Insane Enough To Trust Me With Queries. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pass.

Best of luck,

Merry

Anonymous said...

While the query needed a bit of work and tightening, I think you've got a great idea that could lead to all sorts of fun.

"Together, they hatch a plan to organise an adoption in a society wholly dependent on secrets and lies, where there are no adoption laws and where unmarried mothers can expect to be incarcerated and enslaved."

Perhaps flip this - let us know this is taboo, allowing the "oo" to set in when you find out they're doing it!
Focus on your main plots and make it concise.
I think I'd request the first two chapters to check out the writing and see if it's up to par!
Thanks!

Craven said...

Thank you for your consideration. Please submit the first thirty pages of your manuscript.

Best of luck, Craven

Laura said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but the premise is not a good fit for me.

Best of luck,

Agent Laura

Disgruntled Bear said...

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately I am going to have to pass at this time.
I wish you the best of luck with another agent.

Sincerely,
Agent

ikmar said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. Sorry, but it is not for me.

Sincerely,
Agent for the Day

Ello said...

Dear Author,

I really really regret to pass. Best of luck!

side note - I was so torn! I really thought this was publishable but am at my last MS request and ultimately passed because women's fiction is not my forte.

Harsh Critic said...

From my reading of your query letter, it doesn't seem that there is a very strong conflict. Also, your letter was a bit confusing, so I worry that your manuscript might also be confusing.

Sorry, not for me.

StrugglingToMakeIt said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Best,

Agent

(I wanted this one, but didn't have enough votes to request it. With a stronger hook, this one might have made my cut.)

Other Lisa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately it's not what I'm looking for at this time. I find the setting and the premise compelling, but I'm not sure I see a strong enough hook to sell this on.

This is a very subjective business, and other agencies may feel differently.

Best of luck with your search for representation!

Sincerely,

Agent X

Tara Ryan said...

Dear Author,
I'm excited to request the first 50 pages of Rosie's Child.
Agent-for-a-day

Tara Ryan said...

Dear Author,
I'm excited to request the first 50 pages of Rosie's Child.
Agent-for-a-day

Matilda McCloud said...

Thank you for your query. Please send the first three chapters to my attention.

With best regards.

Matilda McCloud

:)Ash said...

Dear Author:

Please send the first three chapters of your novel as a Word doc to ash@agency.net.

Sincerely yours,

:)Ash

ai-hua said...

Interesting, but not my cup of tea. I'm sure other agents will jump on this, so I'm sending a form rejection.

Jeanne Tomlin said...

Thank you for your query letter.
Your premise is interesting.
Please email me the first 3 chapters of your novel.
Thanks,
Jeanne

Cai said...

Dear agent,

Refreshing. Please send over the first 30-ish pages.

Thanks,

Author for a day

Leslie said...

Dear Author,

Your story is an interesting one that is unfortunately not right for my agency.
I wish you all the best in your writing career.

Best wishes, Leslie

Endless Secrets said...

Dear Author,

ROSIE'S CHILD is usually not the type of novel that interests me and is not one that I would normally represent, but from the first paragraph I was drawn in.
I would be more than happy to see the first fifty pages and a deatiled synopsis via snail mail.

-Lea

Katy said...

This is an interesting premise, but ultimately I don't feel I am the right agent to represent this project. Please keep me in mind for any future projects.
Best of luck,
Katy

Pap said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in my agency. However, I will not be requesting any further materials from you at this time. Please note that submissions are a very subjective business and my comments are not a critique on your writing ability. I strongly encourage you to continue your search for an agent and wish you all the best.

Your sincerely,

Make-believe Agency

Bane of Anubis said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission, but it isn't right for me. Best of luck,

Bane

(reasoning: there's not enough to intrigue me here - though lit fic is definitely not my bag, so I'm not sure if that's me or the query)

KathyF said...

Dear Author of Query #36,

Thank you for your query, but ROSIE'S CHILD isn't right for me.

KathyF

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Please send 50 pages according to our submission guidelines. Rosie's Child looks interesting.

BelleAgent

Adam Heine said...

There seem to be two stories here. I'm sure they're connected, but you need to tell us how.

I'm sorry, but this isn't right for me. Thank you for submitting and good luck.

Cat Hellisen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.  Your proposal is interesting, but I don't feel that the project is quite right for me. I wish you the best of luck in finding representation elsewhere.

Best,
Cat.

Eden said...

Please send the first 5000 words of ROSIE'S CHILD in an attached Word or Open Office document.

Sincerely,

Eden

Thomas said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not appropriate for my current needs. I wish you luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,
Tally

David de Beer said...

Dear Author,

thanks for your interest but unfortunately I am going to pass this time.

Sincerely,
David de Beer

CJK said...

Thank you for your query. I am not interested in further materials on this work. Good luck with your search for representation. CJK

KC in SF said...

You have a beautifully written premise, but I'm afraid I'm not the right agent for this book.

Best wishes,

KC in SF

Krista said...

Sorry, form rejection.

I was curious at the beginning, but you lost me at the end. I really have no sense of who the protagonist is or what is the main conflict.

Renee Collins said...

Dear Rosie's Child,

Thank you for your query. Please send me the full manuscript as a Word doc. I'm looking forward to reading this.

Thanks,

Renee

bookshop said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent submission. Please send the full manuscript as an attachment, either in .doc or .rtf form. Please put "Requested" in your subject line and include your original query with your email. Alternately you may upload and share a Google document with my email, bookshopliterary@gmail.com.

I'm very much looking forward to seeing how you shape these characters and this narrative. Expect a response within 2-3 weeks.

Regards,

Bookshop

_________

(Yay! I'm excited about this one. And I just want to disagree with the respondent who said your query should start with Jack's death; I read your query as proposing two narratives, possibly concurrent, possibly chronological, one about Rosie and Elizabeth, one about Hannah and her return to Ireland. The "backstory" was actually the most intriguing bit of your plot for me and, it seems, a number of others. So while I definitely think you can rework this query, I don't think you should cut any of the characterization of Rosie or the context, either of adoption in 40's Ireland or her friendship with Elizabeth. (Especially because I'm reading a sexual vibe in their friendship and without that first paragraph, your last sentence about Hannah discovering a romance doesn't have much bite to it.)

So, yeah, great job! I'm excited about this one, I hope you find a home for it. Good luck!)

Sage said...

Dear Rosie's Child,

I'd love to read more of this. Please sent the first 50 pages.

Thanks,
Sage

MK said...

Dear Author,

While your query is interesting, I'm afraid it's not the right fit for us at this time.

Good luck with your search.

Best,
Agent for a Day

Melinda said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but unfortunately this project isn't right for me. Best of luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,

Melinda

P.S. This sounds interesting. If I could've requested one more, this would've been it.

Madhat said...

Dear Author:

I'm going to have to pass.

-Agent

Gregory said...

Dear Author;

Form rejection.

Cordially,

Agent Gregory

[Which story are you telling here? That of Rose? Her Daugher? Elizabeth? Or Hanna? I assume Hanna is Elizabeth's sister? The plot doesn't hold together here. You've got to show me, not tell me. Rose Martin, good-time girl, West Cork, Ireland, has a fling. Gets pregnant. But it's 1940. If the authorities find out, she goes to prison. She turns to her friend, Beth, who has been trying but can't get pregnant. They decide Beth will adopt the child. But how to hid the pregancy? And the adoption? Then Beth's husband dies, suddenly. Now, there's the problem that he dies in 2007, 70 years later. So where is Beth in this? How does it relate? Is this really Hanna's story? If so, we have to back up and start with Hanna.]

Nay said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.
I would love to see more.
Please send me the first three chapters.

-Nay

Annie said...

I'd pass.

Reason: While I like the set-up. the actual story involving Hannah just doesn't sound interesting enough to me. I've seen this sort of thing a bit too often.

Jeni said...

Dear Rosie,
Thank you for your query regarding Rosie's Child. I’d be delighted to read more. Please e-mail the first three chapters of your book and a synopsis to me as Word attachments. I will do my best to respond to your work within one month.
I look forward to reading your work!
Sincerely,
Jeni

Sol said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Although your overview provides several intriguing insights into your manuscript, I am unable to request a partial at this time.

Best of luck to you in your search for representation.

Kind regards,

Sol Nima

Julie Weathers said...

Dear Author,

There were interesting points in your submission, but I’m afraid I can’t offer representation. This is a subjective business, and what appeals to one reader doesn’t always appeal to another. With my current workload, I have to be very discriminating and take on only projects I am passionate about.

I urge you to continue your quest to be published and wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

J.M. Agent

Jessumby said...

Dear Author

Thank you for sending me your query. I regret to inform you that it does not suit the needs of my list at this time.

Regards, Jessumby

Selene said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for contacting Selene Literary. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that this project is not right for us.

While I like your writing and the time frame of your novel, there was just not enough in the query to make it stand out among similar novels in your field.

Best regards,
Selene Da Agent
Selene Literary

theflightytemptress said...

Dear Rosie's Child,

Thank you for your submission, but unfortunately it’s not for me. Publishing is a very subjective business, though, and another agent may feel differently. Best of luck in your continued search.

The query does not flow well between the two clear paragraphs explaining the two time periods. As such, I'm not sure how the book would flow between the two.

Yours,

Kat Brauer

thin said...

x
Dear Author,
While it seems like an interesting premise for a book, I'm sorry to say that I cannot take on the project. Thank you for considering me, and best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
Thin

RW said...

Dear Author:

Thank you very much for your query. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to consider your work for representation. As you know, it’s a competitive market these days, and I don’t believe I have the right relationships to sell this project successfully. I do wish you luck in finding an agent and thank you for considering me.

Yours truly,

RW

Anonymous said...

form rejection from me, too.

[My thoughts on reading the query: unwed mothers in Ireland in the 1940s were enslaved???? And why should I care about Hannah, who has no problem, only a minor puzzle that it doesn't really matter whether she solves or not?]

Polenth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. As your story didn't resonate with me, I'm going to have to pass.

--
Polenth

Poppy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Although I do not normally rpresent this genre I was intrigued by the story presented in your query for ROSIE'S CHILD. Please send the first three chapters as an attatchment.

Agent

Lisa R said...

Dear Rosie's Child:

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately it is not right for me. Another agent may feel differently. Best of luck,

Lisa R

Deniz Bevan said...

Thank you for your query, but I wouldn't be the right agent in this instance.
I wish you luck finding the right home for your work.
Sincerely,
Ms Agent Agency

Dara said...

Dear Rosie's Child,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not think I am the right person for this book. I wish you success in your search for representation.

Best,

Dara

Specifics: It seemed like two completely different stories put together. Which is the main story? If it's Hannah's discovery of the past, make that the focus of the query instead. I initially thought it was going to follow Rosie and then I got thrown with the sudden jump to the present day. The alternating between past and present can work, but make it clear in the query.

Dale - Las Vegas said...

Thank you for your submission but it doesn't seem right for me at this time.

Good luck in the future.

Beth said...

Dear Author,

Please send the first three chapters of ROSIE'S CHILD to the address below. I am looking forward to reading it!

Sincerely,

Agent

Jabez said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not believe I am the best agent to represent your manuscript. Best of luck in your quest for publication.

Sherry Ficklin said...

Dear Author,
While this isn't my usual genre, I'l love to see mote at this time. Please send me your full manuscript!
Sincerely,
Agent Faux

Soratian said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query but I'm afraid I'm not the right person to represent your work. I wish you the best of luck in your search for an agent.

Best wishes,
Soratian

(Comment: Didn't put the comment here but I think you should have started the pitch in the present-day and the mystery of the inheritance. It's about giving enough detail to hook the reader but not laying it all out- that's the job of the synopsis)

John said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for giving me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, it's not something I think I can sell at present. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.

JuJu said...

Dear Author,

While your premise is very interesting, I have to be very selective as of now - and the parallel plot line is
not something I'll go out of my way for. Please know that this business is very subjective so keep trying!

Best wishes,
JuJu

educlaytion said...

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not for me. Good luck in the future.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Dear Author,

Please send me the first 30 pages of your novel.

Sarah


There are some things in the query that I didn't like, but the hook intrigues me. I also think it's commercially viable.

Lois Lavrisa said...

Dear Author,

While I appreciate your consideration of our agency, I will have to pass on your project.

I am sorry to say I did not have the passionate response to it that I would need to request more or offer you representation.

Obviously you want an agent who will stand enthusiastically behind your work.

Additionally, given today’s publishing climate I do not believe I would be able to get you the attention from a publisher that your book deserves.

Publishing is very subjective, though, and another agent may well feel differently.

I do wish you success in finding representation and, once again, thank you for the opportunity to consider your work.

Sincerely,

Lois Lavrisa
Agent for a day

Tree said...

Dear Author:
I want to thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. Unfortunately, I did not connect well enough with your project to pursue it further. As I'm sure you know, agenting is a very subjective business. Although your project didn't fit with my particular list, another agent may respond very differently.
Please accept my best wishes for success in your writing career and finding the perfect advocate for your work.
Sincerely,
Tree

lucy in the sky said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not believe I am the best person to represent your work.

Sun Up said...

Author,

While your plotline is very intriguing, I'm not sure I could do it justice. Thanks for the submission and I'm sure you'll find representation very soon!

best of luck

Alicia

Janeal C. Falor said...

Thank you for the opportunity to look at you work. Unfortunately, I don't feel this is the right project for me.

Heather Harper said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. After careful consideration, I regret that I’m unable to request your manuscript at this time.

Best,
Agent for a day

Laurie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I have decided to decline representing you for this manuscript.

I think you have a very compelling story line and you made it to the second round in my consideration. The only reason I am declining is the mandatory limit of only accepting five manuscripts.

Best of luck to you! I'm sure you will find representation soon.

Laurie

Kats said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query. Although the premise sounds intriguing, unfortunately Rosie's Child is not the right project for me.

Best,
Agent for a Day, Kats

Venus Vaughn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I was very interested by your submission and hope you continue to pursue your writing career as you have some good ideas and an intriguing voice. Though I liked your project, ultimately it is not something I will be able to devote the right amount of energy towards.

I encourage you to hone your craft and keep submitting. Just because this isn't the right project for me, that doesn't mean you won't find representation elsewhere.

Best of luck,

~Venus Vaughn

Fairduncan said...

Dear Author

I was intrigued by your query and would be interested in looking at a partial of your manuscript. If you could send me the first 50 or so pages, I'll be glad to review it and give you a timely response.

Best Regards,
Agent

Amethyst Greye Alexander said...

Dear Author,

I've reviewed your query but am afraid your project isn't a good fit with the works I represent. I hope you won't let this discourage you, however, as every agent has different tastes and you're sure to find representation that will better suit your needs.

Thank you for considering me.
Amethyst Adams

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

Please send me the first 50 pages.

Best,
Agent

PS - I like the setting and the parallel plot lines, and am impressed you can express both cogently in a query.

However, I thought you could have started with "When Rosie Martin" and not lost anything.

Wandering Spirit said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Although your story shows potential it is unfortunately of a genre that I am not best suited to represent. However, all writing is of value and I wish you the best in your endeavours.

Best wishes

Agent for a Day

Note: It started off well but then I became a little confused by the further subplots and characters otherwise I may have requested the manuscript.

Anonymous said...

I'm hooked. Please send the full manuscript asap. Thank you,
Agent DC

Sarah D said...

This passes for me. Sounds interesting.

Maryann Miller said...

Thank you for considering our agency. I am intrigued by your query and would like to see the first 50 pages and a synopsis.

Bertha Lavelle said...

Dear Author,
Please forward six chapters of your completed novel, plus the final ten pages, to me,
All the best,
Bertha

Lupina said...

Thank you but it's not for me at this time.

The Lupina Agency

Brenda said...

Dear Author,
What a great story. I am definitely interested. Please send me the first five chapters of your completed ms.
Thank you,
B

Savannah Pens said...

Dear Author: Thank you for your query. While I found much to interest me in the premise, I must pass at this time. Best wishes. Savannah Pens Agent.

P.S. I would have requested a full if not constrained to five by the contest.

Elizabeth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel strongly enough about the work to request further material.

Best regards,

Agent Elizabeth

Barbara Webb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sharing ROSIE'S CHILD, but I'm afraid I'm going to pass. This was a close one for me, as the premise sounds interesting, but the query letter didn't provide me with enough unique details to make me request the book.

Best of luck!

Barbara

Marilyn Peake said...

Dear Author of ROSIE'S CHILD:

Thank you for your query. I regret to inform you that I cannot offer you representation at this time. Please do not in any way interpret this as meaning that your book doesn’t have merit or that you should give up on writing. Follow your dreams. I wish you all the best in your search for a literary agent.

Sincerely,
Writerly Angst Literary Agent

Sara Cox Landolt said...

Dear Author,
I received and read your query. I'm going to pass. I think your premise is interesting, stick with it!
Best to you,
Agent SCL

The Writers Canvas said...

Please send the first 50 pages, thanks!

Elaine

PS - The first few lines of your query didn't immediately grab me in, but your location/setting definitely did. Your query got better as I read more of it. I'd suggest punching up the first few lines so you grab someone immediately. I think this sounds like a fascinating project, and again, your setting is definitely what grabbed me. Just punch up the first few sentences so you don't get lost in the shuffle of agents.

Thanks!
Elaine

Moth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query to Moth's Literary Agency. While your story sounds interesting, I'm afraid it's just not right for us. Best of luck in your writing career.

Sincerely,
Moth

Lucy said...

Dear Rosie's Child: Thank you so much for your query. I like your premise, but I really don't think I'm the right agent for this work. I do wish you all the best in finding the agent who's perfect for you, and I suspect you will. Good luck to you! L.C.

Horserider said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for allowing us to consider your work. I’m sorry to say that this is not something we are interested in at this time. We receive hundreds of submissions every week and, unfortunately, cannot take them all on. This is a very subjective business and I wish you luck on your journey to publication.

Sincerely,

Horserider Literary Agency

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this project is not a good fit for me. I appreciate your time and consideration, and wish you luck in finding representation.
Best,

Agent M

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Raven56 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying "Agent for a Day" Agency. Unfortunately, we do not feel this story is a good fit for our list at this time. We encourage you to continue querying other agents.

Best of luck,

Raven56

PCB said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. We are not in a position to represent you at this time, but wish you all the very best in your writing endeavors.

Sincerely,
PCB

cwsherwoodedits said...

Thank you for your query. Please send me the full manuscript by email.

Maricar said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. However, your work does not fit our needs at this time. Best of luck.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank your for your interest in our agency. However, I'm afraid this isn't quite right for us. Best of luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,

Agent.

(There seem to be several false assumptions there, the first being that one always knows who one's mother is. The query, while intriguing, felt too superficial to me.)

Patti K. said...

I am very intrigued with this submission. Please email me the first five chapters and a synopsis as soon as possible. Thank you, Patti K.

Just_Me said...

Intriguing storyline and a good voice. You're in the MAYBE pile.

I'm particularly impressed because this isn't a genre I always love. You get a cookie for that, but no response until I'm done reading everyone else's offerings.

Audrey E said...

Dear Author,

I would love to request the first three chapters of your story ROSIE'S CHILD. Please send them right away.

Yours,
Audrey

Lipstick Lizzie said...

Dear Author,

I'm a big fan of Irish period novels, but I was lost as to whose story this is. Not requesting, but I'd look at a re-query.

Lizzie

super agent nicole said...

Dear author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit a query. Please send along your manuscript at your earliest convenience.

Thank you,
Nicole

TFree said...

Thank you for considering me. Unfortunately, this piece isn’t right for me at this time. Good luck with this and future endeavors.

TF

sKim said...

Thank you for sending this original proposal. We regret that it doesn't suit our needs at the moment. Best of luck to you.

Taymalin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this story is not for me at this time. Best of luck with your future endeavors,

Taymalin

Brian Crawford said...

Thank you for sending me your work. Unfortunately, I must reject it. Don’t feel bad; I receive about 2,000 queries per week, and reject 99.99% of them. Assume I’m wrong about your book. Don’t give up. In the meantime, increase your chances of success by downloading my e-book, “Kick-ass Queries,” available on my website for only $199.99.

Jeannie said...

Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately your project is not what we’re looking to represent at this time. Best of luck.
- Jeannie

00 Pisces said...

Dear Author,
Please send me the first 100 pages of ROSIE'S CHILD at your earliest convenience. I love stories with intrigue, social commentary, and the Irish!

00Pisces

austere said...

Dear Author #36

Looks like an interesting style and story.

Send me the first three chapters so that I can take a call.

Regards

Brigita said...

Thank you for sending me your query. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.

ros said...

You know, I would probably read this novel. In fact, if Maeve Binchy's written it, I probably already have. If it's moderately well-written it'll sell. But it just didn't grab me enough to pick it out of the slush pile today. Nothing new to see here. Sorry.

Shawntelle said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission today. I am afraid I must pass since the premise didn't grab me. Good luck in seeking representation.

Sincerely,

Shawntelle

Ego said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your work. I regret I am not sufficiently enthusiastic to represent you at present. Note that this is a personal reaction and you may have success elsewhere.

Regards,

Ego

Ulysses said...

I found your concept interesting, and I would like to take closer look at the material. Please send the first 50 pages as a sample.

Thermocline said...

Thank you for your query. Please send me a synopsis and your first 50 pages. I look forward to receiving them.

(You gave away a lot in this query. I already knew what the “situation” was by the time I reached the fifth paragraph. I think you could strengthen your query by moving the elements around – let me be surprised to learn of the plan hatched because of no adoption laws. Or consider deleting the paragraph about Rosie and Elizabeth and just hint at what happened when Jack’s mother was younger, back in Ireland in the 1940s.)

Aimless Writer said...

Maybe...okay send it.

Marybeth said...

Dear Author,

I would love a chance to view the entire manuscript. Please send in an email via ms word document. I look forward to reading further.

Sincerely,
Marybeth

Kristin said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query; however, I am sorry to say that I will not be pursuing it any further. It does not fit my list at this time, but there are many agents out there and I would encourage you to continue submitting to those who rep your genre.
Regards,
KM

Agent Yard Oaf said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I am unable to take on new projects at this time.

Best wishes,

Agent Yard Oaf

Janny said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me with ROSIE'S CHILD. This premise sounds intriguing, and I'd like to see how you develop it. So please send me the first 50 pages of your book as a Word attachment (.rtf or .doc is fine) to e-mail, and put the title of your manuscript as the subject line of the e-mail to avoid my spam filters.

I look forward to seeing more of ROSIE'S CHILD!

Sincerely,
Janny

Anonymous said...

Writer,
Thank you for your query, though I don’t think I’m interested in taking your story idea. Keep on writing.
-Thanks,
Suzuki Volkeswagon

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