Nathan Bransford, Author


Monday, April 13, 2009

Be An Agent for a Day: Query #34

This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here

Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!



Dear Agent for a Day,

Fifteen-year-old Bento is a seventh son and, according to Argentine legend, doomed to transform into an el lobison - a werewolf, on his sixteenth birthday. When local villagers attempt to kill him, he flees his homeland to find refuge with an eccentric family in New Jersey where he learns that werewolves were once an actual race that intermixed with humans. This interspecies breeding resulted in humans carrying recessive genes that express werewolf-like tendencies on nights brightened by a full moon. Bento is assured that shape shifting (like in the movies) doesn’t happen anymore.

Just when Bento gets comfortable with his surrogate family and meets the girl of his dreams, his world is torn apart when he shapes shifts into a flesh eating beast on his sixteenth birthday. Is he an uncontrollable monster that will never have the love of his girl? How can he keep his girlfriend and family safe from his beast within? And who is the mysterious stranger stalking them?


My 43,380 word YA paranormal novel, Seventh Son, explores not only Bento’s monster but also the monsters we all keep hidden away.

I have attended many SCBWI sponsored conferences, as well as Writer's Boot Camp, and online classes. I’ve written monthly articles for X Magazine. I participated as a nominated mentee in the Rutgers One on One Mentoring Workshop and was fortunate to work with author, Joyce McDonald as my mentor. In the past, I was represented by agent X of X Literary Agency.

Sincerely,

Author

STATS: 5% request rate






316 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 316   Newer›   Newest»
Craven said...

Thank you for your consideration, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck, Craven

Caroline said...

Dear Author:

While the premise is interesting, I can't imagine how the plot would work and seem believable. Please send me your future projects.

Sincerely,

Agent Caroline

romoak said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. While aspects of this story are intriguing, this story is not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your continued efforts. Please keep in mind that other agents are different.

-- I'm getting too many 'why' details and not enough character or plot. Right now, I don't care where or how shifters came about, I just want to know about this particular one and what makes this book stand out from all the others out there.

Casey said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your time and consideration. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent SEVENTH SON and your career as a writer.

Best wishes,

Casey

***

This didn't hook me as there is nothing particularly original about the story here, in my opinion.

Josephine Damian said...

Seems a little too short in the word-count dept.

form rejection

hannah said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for thinking of me, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Rest assured that it has nothing to do with your word count. 43K is fine for YA, but I'm sure people will hate on it shortly. Cover your eyes.

Best,
hannah

Bija Andrew Wright said...

I have to pass on this one.

[Word of advice: I got my first sense of clumsy writing when you used the phrase "an el lobison"--it has two articles in two different languages. It would be more effective to say "a monster known as 'el lobison'" or "a werewolf, which the locals call 'el lobison.'"

Word verification: buffi. The werewolf slayer!

Bane of Anubis said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission, but it isn't right for me. Best of luck,

Bane

(reasoning: sounds interesting and the writing is there, but I feel it wouldn't stand out in the glut of paranormal out there)

jane doherty said...

It's interesting, but I've seen the 7th son/daughter angle quite a bit. I'm afraid I have to pass.

quixotic said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, however, I do not feel excited enough about, SEVENTH SON to request anything further.

Good luck in your search for an agent.

Quixotic

kaseee said...

Dear Author,

Your project is not without merit, but it isn't right for us at this time. Keep in mind this is a subjective business and another agent may feel differently.

Best of luck,

Agent

Rick said...

Author-

Sorry, but I don't represent YA or Fantasy.

If you have not already, you may want to check out AgentQuery. It can help you find an Agent who best suits your needs.

http://www.agentquery.com/

Sincerely,
Rick O

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I have to be extremely selective about what projects I request. Although this book is not for me, feel free to send me future projects. Remember, agenting is subjective, and I wouldn't be surprised if someone snatched this up!

Sincerely,
Megan

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I will have to pass at this time.

Best,

Meg Spencer

Laura said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but the subject is not a good fit for me.

Best of luck,

Agent Laura

p.s. good query -- I'm just not into werewolves.

scj said...

Sorry, but this isn't right for me. I don't get a sense of how it's different from other books out there, and I didn't learn enough specifics about the plot. Best of luck.

Melissa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I don't think I"m the right agent for this book. I wish you luck.

Melissa


Thoughts: The premise is kind of cool, but werewolves are like vampires. They have to be handled with extreme freshness. When I read this query, I worry because I don't see the reasoning behind some of the plot elements. For example, how does he find this surrogate family that knows so much about shape shifters? The plot sounds pretty good, though, and an agent who knew more about werewolf-type novels might handle it better.

DeadlyAccurate said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your query and I apologize for this form reply.

I regret I have to pass on many interesting projects due to time constraints. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.


Sincerely,

DeadlyAccurate

Nixy Valentine said...

Dear Author:

I'm sorry, but I'm not the right agent for this project.

Notes: Although your query is generally well written, sometimes the phrasing was clumsy, e.g. "...were once an actual race that intermixed with humans" could be shortened to say "...once intermixed with humans" without losing any meaning.

And, I am not a YA expert, but I think 43K is too short even for YA.

selestial-owg said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Your premise is interesting, but I don't feel strongly enough about it to request more at this time. Best of luck.

Selestial


Too short, and the exact word count doesn't help. Also, Seventh Son is the title of an Orson Scott Card novel, making the idea of comparisons inevitable. I'm not sure I can wrap my head around the idea of a society where people believe werewolves DID exist, but just assume that though the bloodline is still there, don't exist anymore.

Derek said...

Dear Author,

I'm sorry, but I've already used up 4 out of my 5 manuscript requests, so I'm having to be more selective.

In any case, I think bookshelves are already overcrowded with werewolf novels.

I'll pass on this one.

Agent For A Day.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

I'm afraid I'll have to pass on this.

Agent XXX

** I was intrigued by the first paragraph, but once the main conflict was about his fears at turning, I decided not to request. There's not enough here. And, imho why not be glad to be a werewolf? I'd like to see some novels where the paranormals are proud of what they are. That might make a query along these lines stand out.

beth said...

You know what? I liked it. A lot. I AM sick of werewolves...but I felt this was pretty fresh. I'm holding out, though--I've got only 2 more slots in my stack. If I read the rest of the entries and don't find a gem, then I am coming back to this one.

Lisa R said...

Dear Seventh Son:

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately your project is not right for me but another agent may feel differently. Best of luck,

Lisa R

Pinkie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
thelifter said...

Dear Author:

I want to know a little more, but I'm skeptical. Strip out some of the bio information (it's irrelevant) and requery.

If I were a real agent, I would ask you for a synopsis and push for a longer, more fleshed out draft if I liked it.

Regards,

Mr. Snark

Lauren H.K. said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for considering me in your search for representation. At this time, I don't feel strong enough about your project to offer representation. Please feel free to query me with future work.

Best regards,

Agent L.

(notes: The premise didn't hook me, nor did it seem fresh enough. The voice was good, though, and I just got a sense from the query that you probably have other ideas for YA novels that will work well.

BTW, agree with Hannah that 43K is totally fine for YA.)

KathyF said...

Dear Author of Query #34,

Thank you for your query, but SEVENTH SON isn't right for me.

KathyF

jimnduncan said...

Thank you for querying me, but I'm afraid I'm going to pass on your story. Best of luck in your continued writing endeavors.

(reason: other than the interesting historical background, there wasn't anything in the story itself that hooked me. It does not seem much different than other were stories out there in the marketplace now)

Cat said...

Dear Author,

thank you for submitting but it's not right for me.

Sincerely,
Cat

form rejection because I haven't gotten a clear feeling for the protagonist. As it is, it's not unique enough to stand out (for me). Of course, this is entirely subjective.

AgentMan said...

We don't handle YA fiction. Best of luck.

AgentMan

sraasch said...

Dear Author,

Oh another tough one. On the one hand, werewolves are a bit tired. On the other, I feel like this plot might work.

Ultimately, I think I have to pass. Sorry!

Thanks!

Kitti said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I regret to inform you that I am going to have to pass on this, but please keep me in mind for your future projects.

Best of luck,
Kitti

Keri Ford said...

Thank you for submitting, but unfortunately I didn’t connect with this story idea.

Good Luck,
Keri


<><><><><><><>
The genre is not familiar to me.

Cindy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for you submission, however the project is not right for me at this time.

All the best,
Cindy

Onovello said...

Dear Author:

Many thanks for your query. Unfortunately, I'm not the right agent for your work.

With all best wishes,
Onovello

Rick Daley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Authors Write Literary Agency. I have reviewed your query for Seventh Son, and I’m sorry to say that I do not feel that I am the best agent to represent your work at this time.

Please keep in mind that there are many talented agents out there, and opinions are subjective based on individual preferences, workload, and market climate.

Don’t be afraid to research other agents and query those that you feel are best suited to represent your work. Best of luck!

Regards,

Daley Agent for a Day

Madison said...

Dear Author,

Thank you so much for submitting your work and considering me to represent it. While the story sounds quite interesting, I am afraid it does not fit my list at this point in time and I must regretfully pass. I know rejections can be hard to take, but please keep submitting and following your dream.

Best of luck in your agent hunt!

Sincerely,

Madison

Reason for rejection: Sick and tired of vampires and werewolves. Please, some originality.

K. Andrew Smith said...

Dear author,

Thank you for your submission, Seventh Son. Unfortunately, it's not quite right for me. I wish you good fortune in your quest for an agent.

Sincerely,

K. Andrew Smith

Chanelley said...

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not what I’m looking for at this time. However, do continue to query widely. After all, it does only take one agent to say yes!
All the best,
Agent for the day

Ethan Rose said...

There is nothing new under the moon. What makes this story unique?

Jeni said...

Thank you for your query. I sincerely appreciate the opportunity to review your proposal, and found the premise for your manuscript intriguing. However, I’m afraid that the manuscript does not meet my needs at this time. Please do continue to send your work to other agents, as someone else may feel differently.
Best of luck in your publishing endeavors,
Jeni

suki said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me. I wish you luck in your search for representation.

Regards,
Suki


Reasoning: A lot of world building, but not a lot to get me interested in Bento. And with werewolves, IMO the voice needs to be sharp and dynamic, and this just didn't reach out and grab me. But good luck.

EJ Lange said...

Author,

Thank you for your query. This work is not right for me, but I hear many agents are seeking werewolf novels right now, so I encourage you to continue your search for representation.

Agent Erin

Agent X said...

Dear Author,

This is one of those letters I loathe to write as an agent, because I really do love the idea behind this, and I think it hits a great spot in the YA shelf.

Subjectively,I feel as though this would be a book I could enjoy reading, but not one that I would love enough to zealously represent it as you deserve.

I have no doubt, however, that you will be snatched up quickly, and I truly do wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Agent X

Monika said...

Thank you for your submission, but I do not think this project is right us. This is a subjective business and other agencies will feel differently. We wish you every success with your project.

Ramen with cheese said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for allowing RJM Agency to consider your work, but I’m afraid it’s not a good fit for our list. We wish you every bit of luck in your search for representation.

RJM

Colorado Writer said...

Dear Author:
Sorry, but not for me.
Best,
Agent Name

Jenn Johansson said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for letting me review your query. Unfortunately, I don't think this is a good fit for me at this time.

Best of luck!
JJ

KC in SF said...

Thank you for your query. While you have written an interesting query, I am not currently accepting YA fiction.

best wishes,

KC in SF

lesleylsmith said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter.
Unfortunately, your novel is not a good fit for me.
Good luck!
-Lesley
p.s. This premise is promising, but how does it differ from all the other Were books out there? Also, the length seems unusually short.

jjdebenedictis said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent query; discovering new talent is one of the joys of being a literary agent, and I am always honoured to have the opportunity to read a writer's best work.

Please accept my regrets, however, as I won't be offering to represent this novel. I apologize for informing you of this using a form letter, but the volume of mail I receive makes it impractical for me to give personalized rejections.

I wish you the very best luck in finding a literary agent whose enthusiasm will bring your book the success it deserves!

Sincerely,
J. J. DeGoblin

~~~~~~~
For your reference, here are the most common reasons why I decline certain queries. Please note that if your submission was very good, my reasons for rejecting it were probably much subtler than the items on this list and cannot be put quickly into words. Again, I apologize for this form letter, but I cannot invest the time to critique those submissions I have chosen to not represent. Thank you for your understanding.


Most common reasons why I decline manuscripts:

[ ]--The manuscript is in a genre which I don't represent

[ ]--The query appears to be a non-personalized mass mailing

[ ]--The query/manuscript's presentation was worryingly unpolished
(E.g. Many spelling, grammar, punctuation or homophone errors; a non-standard format)

[ ]--The writing doesn't seem polished enough
(This improves with practice; your next novel may be excellent)

[ ]--The plot doesn't sound compelling enough
(Again, this improves with practice and self-education)

[ X ]--The plot sounds too similar to something book-buyers have already seen


Comments, if any:
This sounds like it could be a good book, but although the Argentinian connection is fresh, I'm not sure it would stand out sufficiently from other books on the market.

Barb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.

All the best,
Barb

wickerman said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I must pass on 7th Son.

Unfortunately, I feel Werewolf and Vampire fiction is at the saturation point in the current market and there is not enough here to make your novel stand out from the crowd.

Best of Luck,

The Wickerman

Secretary

Bransford Lit

brian_ohio said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best,

Brian

Superfast said...

Thank you so much for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't feel I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Good luck and keep writing!

Karen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I am afraid that this does not sound like the right project for me. It is very familiar, which does not mean it is unpublishable. Just that it is not a fit with this agency.

I wish you luck in your endeavors.

Karen

dhole said...

Dear Author, thanks for your query. Unfortunately, it's not right for my list, best of luck, etc.

Lucy A muse ision said...

Thanks. Sorry.

Lucy A muse ision
Fictitious Agent

Steve Axelrod said...

Werewolves are not for me. But others love them, so keep searching.

Other Lisa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately it's not what I'm looking for. Best of luck in your search for representation, and keep writing!

Best,

Agent X

Vicky said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for querying me regarding SEVENTH SON. Unfortunately, I will have to pass as the story is not unique enough to differentiate it from all the other werewolf novels, particularly in a saturated paranormal market. Another agent may feel differently, however. I wish you all the best with finding representation.

All best.

Jean said...

Thanks for your submission. I'm sorry, but it's just not what I'm looking for at this time.

Cassandra said...

Dear Author,

I'm afraid that at this time I am unable to offer representation for your novel. This is purely a business decision, and unfortunately means that I must turn away many talented individuals. I encourage you to continue querying agents you think might be interested.

I appreciate your interest in Agent for A Day, and wish you every success in your writing career.



Regards,
Cassandra

Harsh Critic said...

This was a very close call for me, but in the end I didn't see enough to make this manuscript stand out from others in which a human turns into some kind of beast. I also worry that werewolf stories are a bit overdone these days.

Sorry, not for me.

Annalee said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your manuscript. I'm afraid it isn't right for me.

Regards,
-Annalee

-----------
Reason: I can see someone else loving this, but I'm really bored of werewolves. Completely subjective, I know. As for the query itself, I think it could be tightened up a little, but I would have requested as it stands if the story were right for me.

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me at this time.

Sincerely,
Amy

Heather said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but it's not for me.

Good luck!
Heather


I think the questions at the end are kind of a turn off. But that's my bias. And as much of an urban fantasy fan as I am, I wasn't pulled into this.

Dorine White said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, however I do not feel we are a good fit.

Good Luck,
Agent for a day

I like your idea.Keep trying.

SammyStewart said...

Form Rejection

Endless Secrets said...

Dear Author,

I am highly interested in your story, unfortunately at roughly 45000 words I do not see how you can call it YA, and the idea I feel is too mature for juvenile. Alas I must inform you that I cannot represent you, but i wish you the best of luck.

-Lea

bridge said...

ear Author,
Thank you for your query. The work isn't right for me.
Best,
Bridge

On a personal note, this is a bit ambiguous. The overarching plot comes off as vague and not well paced, he jumps from the change to surrogate family and in a query it comes off as choppy. Focus on one of these and why we the reader should care or why it is different than the other werewolf novels coming on to the market. Hope this helps...like the seventh son plotline and general idea.
Bridge

gwen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest. Unfortunately, this project is not a good fit for me at the present time.

Regards,

Gwen

Barbara Webb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sharing SEVENTH SON, but I'm going to pass.

Best of luck!

Barbara

Agent KES said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I am not able to offer you representation at this time. Best of luck,

Agent KES

Polenth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I regret to inform you that due to the state of the industry, the poor economy, the subjective nature of books and the state of the sunspot cycle, I'm going to have to pass.

Other agents might feel differently, so please don't cry! Good luck with your future submissions.

--
Polenth

Nik said...

Thank you for your query, but I'm afraid I must pass this time.

Reasoning: While I like the idea that he shifts only after he's been told it won't happen, and I can see his conflict with living in his girl's world, I just am not wowed enough by the story concept. Also, though I am not very familiar with YA, I wonder if it is a tad short to be called a novel - I think that's more novella length which impacts marketing.

Cary Louisa said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission, but I don't feel the project is right for me.

Thanks,
Cary

Sasha said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the best agent to represent your manuscript.

Good luck and yours truly,
AftD

Comments: Though the protagonist was compelling, I found the plot confusing (as presented in the query). For example: why is Bento in New Jersey?

Dawn G. said...

Dear Author,

At your earliest convenience, please send the first three chapters of your manuscript to my attention.

If you do not receive a reply from me within six weeks, please feel free to contact me.

Kindest Regards,
D. Agent

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I’ll pass on this one. Good luck in your endeavors.

Regards,

Lindsey S.

Jen C said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to the Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever. I regret that, at this time, your project is not quite what I’m looking for. I wish you the best of luck in your continuing search for representation.
Sincerely,
Jen C.

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit.

I regret to inform you that at this time I would like to pass on your book.

Best of luck in the future,

Regards,
Agent for a Day, Bookworm Megs

Kristi said...

Thank you for your query. I don't feel this is right for me but I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,
Kristi

Mystery Robin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I am not the right agent for this book. Best of luck!

I will say this was a well written query, but all I can think of is Teen Wolf as I read this. Please keep me in mind for future projects.

Robin

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

While this project shows merit, I'm afraid it didn't fully resonate with me. I feel sure that another agent will feel differently, and wish you the best of luck.

-Agent Pro Tempore

Kelly Guentner said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the query. I regret to inform you that this is not the right work for me to represent at this time.

I wish you luck in your future writing career.

Sincerely,
Kelly Guentner

StrugglingToMakeIt said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Best,

Agent

Merry Monteleone said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Only Literary Agency Insane Enough To Trust Me With Queries. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pass.

Best of luck,

Merry

Tara Ryan said...

Dear Author,
Thank you so much for submitting your work to me. Unfortunately, Seventh Son is not a good fit for me at this time. I wish you much luck in your writing endeavors.
Agent-for-a-day

Disgruntled Bear said...

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately I am going to have to pass at this time.
I wish you the best of luck with another agent.

Sincerely,
Agent

ikmar said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. Sorry, but it is not for me.

Sincerely,
Agent for the Day

Ello said...

Dear Author,

I thought the premise was really really intriguing and loved the Argentinian mythology of the seventh son. I think it is a bit short but would have asked for a full--- except Nathan said only 5 and you would be over my limit. But if Nathan let us have more than 5, I'd ask for your MS!

bookshop said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent submission. While your premise shows potential, at this time I feel it lacks the cohesiveness I am looking for in YA fiction. I do wish you luck in your search for representation. Should you choose to make revisions to this project, please feel free to re-query me at a later date.

Regards,

Bookshop

_________

(Hi! It's another query shark query! I recognized this one right away because of the Argentinian character named "Bento." I actually think this query has shaped up a lot from its queryshark moment. But I'm also kind of pleased to have an opportunity to say what I really wanted to say when I read it, which is this:

please don't name your main character after a Japanese lunch box. YMMV, but this initial impression - Argentinian + something I associate with Japan, creates a strange kind of exoticism around the character himself. It's not helped by the fact that you bring him back to New Jersey!

And my immediate question is, why does he spend his whole life around werewolves in Argentina, growing up with this legend, never to have found out that werewolves and humans once mixed. That just seems like a random reason for him to come to New Jersey, which seems an equally random place for him to acquire this knowledge. Why doesn't he try to figure out what the curse means when he's younger?

And who's doing the reassuring you mention? There's a whole whole bunch of missing pieces here, and it gives your narrative a disjointed feel that causes it to lose tension and feel like a recitation of loose facts. This isn't to say you don't have a great potential story - you do, and werewolves are marketable right now. But you need to make sure that your plot as stated in the query can survive all these questions.

And all that's *before* you get to the mysterious stalker!

So, yeah, while I think this has a lot of potential, it doesn't work for me because I'm not sensing a cohesiveness between a) your plot threads and b) the connection between plot and the importance of your dual setting of Argentina and New Jersey.

This gets a request for re-query if you work through some of those kinks. So, just saying, I think you still have a ways to go, but I believe you can get there and will. Good luck! :) )

PurpleClover said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for considering me but I don't feel this is the right fit.

Regards,
PC

Reason: Seems short for YA.

Kavanaugh and Byrne's LA said...

Dear Author

Thank you opportunity to consider your work at Kavanaugh and Byrne’s Literary Agency.

We do not feel that are the best match with this project.
We wish you every success with this and other ventures

Flower Kavanaugh

:)Ash said...

Dear Author:

Please send the first three chapters of your novel as a Word doc to ash@agency.net.

Sincerely yours,

:)Ash

Author: I am going to request pages, but the query isn't perfect. I think the recessive gene theory is interesting and fresh (which is why I'm requesting pages), but I think the query would be better if you included a bit more regarding the details of the story.

PPP said...

Dear Author,

Werewolves are hot right now, but that means they're also on the way out. This doesn't seem fresh enough to survive a glutted market.

Also, I'm kinda confused. The family tricked your protag into believing he wouldn't transform? But then he DID transform? Is that really the story here? Because it seems like this would be just a minor detail and not the story at all. I could be wrong.

Signed,
PPP

ai-hua said...

Looks interesting, but I've read too many werewolf stories and have to pass. Form rejection.

Jeanne Tomlin said...

Form rejection

Katy said...

Thank your for your submission. However, I feel that the premise of this story is not strong enough, and I will have to pass on this project.
Best of luck,
Katy

Leslie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. The werewolf genre is a difficult sell in today's YA marketplace. Unfortunately, we will not be able to represent this but keep us in mind for future projects.

Sincerely, Leslie

Adam Heine said...

This is all setup (although very cool setup). What happens in the story?

I'm sorry, but this isn't right for me. Thank you for submitting and good luck.

David de Beer said...

Dear Author,

thanks for your interest but unfortunately I am going to pass this time.

Sincerely,
David de Beer

note: just want to point out that the decider for me here was the mention of a previous agent without explaining why the relationship ended. potential red flag, to me.

Eden said...

Thanks for the opportunity but I'm afraid I'll have to pass on representing this piece.

Best of luck with your writing.

~Eden

Thomas said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not appropriate for my current needs. I wish you luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,
Tally

Vic K said...

Thank you for submitting to my agency, however I am not able to offer representation at this time.

Regards,
Vic K.

Reason; Personal taste. I'm not enough into werewolves to request pages without some incredibly compelling reason. Hmm. I can't even imagine a premise original enough it could compel me to request werewolf pages. As Janet Reid would say, this is about me, not about you.

CJK said...

Thank you for your query. I am not interested in further materials on this work. Good luck with your search for representation. CJK

MK said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission. After careful consideration, I've decided this manuscript isn't for us at this time.

Good luck with your search.

Best,
Agent For a Day

Renee Collins said...

Dear Seventh Son,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, the story is not quite right for me.

Best of luck,

Renee

Pap said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in my agency. However, I will not be requesting any further materials from you at this time. Please note that submissions are a very subjective business and my comments are not a critique on your writing ability. I strongly encourage you to continue your search for an agent and wish you all the best.

Your sincerely,

Make-believe Agency

Krista said...

So close, but unfortunately rejection. It just doesn't seem original enough.

Melinda said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but unfortunately this project isn't right for me. Best of luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,

Melinda

P.S. I was on the fence with this one. I chose to pass because I didn't like the focus on the "beast within" and "the monsters we all keep hidden away." Also, this line seemed to come out of nowhere: And who is the mysterious stranger stalking them?

Sage said...

Dear Seventh Son,

The novel sounds promising, but I don't feel it will stand out enough in the market. Another agent may feel differently.

Thanks,
Sage

Gregory said...

Dear Author;

Form rejection.

Cordially,

Agent Gregory

[Not to be snarky, but didn't Jack Nicholson do this in a movie? Sort of? Seems like another overused theme. Somebody suggested he be proud of and exploit being a part-time wolf. That immediately sounds more interesting. Same prevalent theme: need to show, not tell. And again, the story needs a more compelling hook. It needs to be unique.]

Selene said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for contacting Selene Literary. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that this project is not right for us. We wish you the best of luck in finding an agent that is as enthusiastic about this book as it deserves.

Best regards,
Selene Da Agent
Selene Literary

Nay said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.
I found aspects of your story very intriguing, however I am not convinced that it is the right project for me.
I’m sure your project will find a home somewhere.
Best of luck to you

-Nay

Nixy Valentine said...

Dear Author:

I'm sorry, but I'm not the right agent for this book.

Notes: It boiled down to the fact that I've now read through all 50 queries, had 2 slots left, and 7 books I liked.

In the end it was just personal preference for the other stories. So sorry. Your query really is quite good.

Annie said...

I'd read the first three chapters.

Reason: I feel that there is potentially a good story here, and the Argentine connection gives a new angle for this popular but rather tired genre.

Nixy Valentine said...

Eek! I'm so sorry. That second rejection was meant to go on a different post. I didn't mean to reject it twice. *blush*

My apologies.

Sol said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I believe you have the makings of an interesting Young Adult novel here. Unfortunately it is a genre which I don't typically represent. I am unable to request a partial at this time.

Best of luck in your search for representation.

Sol Nima

Julie Weathers said...

Dear Author,

There were interesting points in your submission, but I’m afraid I can’t offer representation. This is a subjective business, and what appeals to one reader doesn’t always appeal to another. With my current workload, I have to be very discriminating and take on only projects I am passionate about.

I urge you to continue your quest to be published and wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

J.M. Agent

Jessumby said...

Dear Author

Thank you for sending me your query. I regret to inform you that it does not suit the needs of my list at this time.

Regards, Jessumby

theflightytemptress said...

Dear Seventh Son,

Thank you for your submission, but unfortunately it’s not for me. Publishing is a very subjective business, though, and another agent may feel differently. Best of luck in your continued search.

I think this is good, but the concept and voice don't pop to me.

Yours,

Kat Brauer

thin said...

Dear Author,
While it seems like an interesting premise for a book, I'm sorry to say that I cannot take on the project. Thank you for considering me, and best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
Thin

Brigita said...

Thank you for sending me your query. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.

Ulysses said...

Thanks for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I don't feel I am the agent to represent this work.

The Classic Carol said...

Dear Author of Seventh Son:
Your work sounds intriguing, but it is not right for me at this time. I encourage you to keep writing and wish you every success.

RW said...

Dear Author:

Thank you very much for your query. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to consider your work for representation. As you know, it’s a competitive market these days, and I don’t believe I have the right relationships to sell this project successfully. I do wish you luck in finding an agent and thank you for considering me.

Yours truly,

RW

kdrausin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I was intrigued by your query however at this time my client list is full.

I wish you luck on your writing journey.

Sincerely,

KDrausin

Poppy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I am afraid that your work is not right for me at this time, however I would urge you to continue to submit to other agents: this is a subjective business.

Agent

Deniz Bevan said...

Thank you for telling me about your book. I'd like to see if the writing engages me, so please cut and paste the first five pages of the manuscript into the body of an email, and I'll take a look.
Sincerely,
Ms Agent Agency

Dara said...

Dear Seventh Son,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not think I am the right person for this book. I wish you success in your search for representation.

Best,

Dara

Specifics: Wasn't original enough for me. Werewolves are a category that you have to come at with a different and unique spin simply because there's so much out there.

Dale - Las Vegtas said...

Thank you for your submission but it doesn't seem right for me at this time.

Good luck in the future.

Beth said...

Dear Author,

I am intrigued by the concept of THE SEVENTH SON, but I am not accepting new authors in the YA genre at this time. I encourage you to continue your search.

Sincerely,

Agent

Jabez said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not believe I am the best agent to represent your manuscript. Best of luck in your quest for publication.

Soratian said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query but I'm afraid I'll be passing on this as it's not a good match for me.

Your query is well-written but I'm not really seeing how this transpires into a plot that differs from the concerns of other were-stories.

Good luck,
Soratian

(Comments: I do love that line though about "the monsters we all hide away" so keep that!)

Sherry Ficklin said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for thinking of me, but I'm going to have to pass. Best of luck finding another agent!

Sincerely, Agent Faux

JuJu said...

Dear Author,

Though your project shows some promise and sounds interesting, unfortunately it is just not the right one for me. Please keep in mind that appeal as a novel is entirely subjective – so keep at it!

Sincerely,
JuJu

(it's kind of short dontcha think? Isn't the normal length around 80,000?)

John said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for giving me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, it's not something I think I can sell at present. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.

Laurie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I have decided to decline representing you for this manuscript.

I think you have a very compelling story line and you made it to the second round in my consideration, and the only reason I am declining is the mandatory limit of only accepting five manuscripts.

Best of luck to you! I'm sure you will find representation soon.

Laurie

educlaytion said...

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not for me. Good luck in the future.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Form rejection.


Nice touches here and there but not enough to tempt me. I think this could be rewritten to show more of the tension and drama rather than tell it. More impact that way.

lucy in the sky said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not believe I am the best person to represent your work.

Lois Lavrisa said...

Dear Author,

While I appreciate your consideration of our agency, I will have to pass on your project.
I am sorry to say I did not have the passionate response to it that I would need to request more or offer you representation. Obviously you want an agent who will stand enthusiastically behind your work.

Additionally, given today’s publishing climate I do not believe I would be able to get you the attention from a publisher that your book deserves.

Publishing is very subjective, though, and another agent may well feel differently.

I do wish you success in finding representation and, once again, thank you for the opportunity to consider your work.

Sincerely,

Lois Lavrisa
Agent for a day

Tree said...

Dear Author:
I want to thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. Unfortunately, I did not connect well enough with your project to pursue it further. As I'm sure you know, agenting is a very subjective business. Although your project didn't fit with my particular list, another agent may respond very differently.
Please accept my best wishes for success in your writing career and finding the perfect advocate for your work.
Sincerely,
Tree

Sun Up said...

Author,

Thanks for the submission, but I'm not currently representing YA at this time.

Fairduncan said...

Dear Author

Thanks for querying us. I regret I have to pass on this one, but wish you every success in finding representation.

Cordially Yours,
Agent

Janeal C. Falor said...

Thank you for the opportunity to look at you work. Unfortunately, I don't feel this is the right project for me.

Heather Harper said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. After careful consideration, I regret that I’m unable to request your manuscript at this time.

Best,
Agent for a day

Kats said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query. Unfortunately I am going to pass on Seventh Son as it's not the right project for me right now. Good luck!

Best,
Agent for a Day, Kats

Savannah Pens said...

Dear Author: Thank you for your query. While the premise sounds interesting, I must pass. Best wishes. Savannah Pens Agent

Sophie W. said...

Dear Author of Seventh Son,

I have a query for you: Can you send the full manuscript to sophie@imtotesanagent.com as a word doc attachment? Could you also include the original query in the email and the word WEREWOLF in your email title? Thanks so very much.

Love,

Sophie

Venus Vaughn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, your project doesn't meet my needs at this time.
Best of luck to you in your writing career.

~Venus Vaughn

Amethyst Greye Alexander said...

Dear Author,

I've reviewed your query but am afraid your project isn't a good fit with the works I represent. I hope you won't let this discourage you, however, as every agent has different tastes and you're sure to find representation that will better suit your needs.

I know it's often difficult to hear an agent was 'on the fence' about your project, but I did want to encourage you to continue. I did like the premise, but felt the word count too low. If I may suggest fleshing the story out and resubmitting.

Thank you for considering me.
Amethyst Adams

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

Please send me 50 pages.

Best,
Agent

PS - Good query. Good set-up, good raising of the stakes.

JohnO said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wandering Spirit said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Unfortunately your book is not of a genre that I am best suited to represent. However, all writing is of value and I wish you the best in your endeavours.

Best wishes

Agent for a Day

Anonymous said...

I'm hooked. Please send your manuscript asap. Thank you,
Agent DC

IQOkie said...

Dear Author,

The SEVENTH SON intrigues me, but I'm feeling edgy right now. Query me again on a full moon.

Tricia

Patti K. said...

Thank you for your submission but I do not believe it is for me at this time. Good luck in your quest for the perfect agent.

Patti K.

Maryann Miller said...

So sorry, but this is not right for us. Good luck placing it elsewhere.

Meggrs said...

"Into an el lobison" makes it look like you threw darts at a map to decide where your MC was born.

Doesn't inspire confidence.

Rejection.

Brenda said...

Dear Author,
I believe there is already a novel out about the Seventh Son. However, I would love to see your story developed. Please send me the first three chapters and an outline of your completed ms.
Thank you,
B

Lupina said...

Thank you but while I really like your voice, it's not for me at this time.

The Lupina Agency

Elizabeth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel strongly enough about the work to request any further material.

Best regards,

Agent Elizabeth

Jenn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. While your story sounds interesting, I do not believe it is appropriate for my needs at this time.

Sincerely,
Fake Agent

Marilyn Peake said...

Dear Author of SEVENTH SON:

Thank you for your query. I regret to inform you that I cannot offer you representation at this time. Please do not in any way interpret this as meaning that your book doesn’t have merit or that you should give up on writing. Follow your dreams. I wish you all the best in your search for a literary agent.

Sincerely,
Writerly Angst Literary Agent

Sara Cox Landolt said...

Dear Author,
I received and read your query. I'm going to pass. I am a fan of werewolf stories, I bet you could rework this query to hook me.
Best to you,
Agent SCL

The Writers Canvas said...

This is a real quandry for me, and perhaps that's the point of this Nathan project. This project sounds like it fits into the "Twilight" category, which we all know sold very well and the movie has been topping the rankings too. So I would think, if the writing were what the query promised, that this would fit into something that could sell.

However, because it *IS* so much like Twilight, I also think it might be hard to sell.

I think you're really close. If you can tweak the query to make it a bit different, or show us how it is NOT like Twilight, I think this could work.

Sorry we can't request at this time!

Elaine

Moth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query to Moth's Literary Agency. While your story sounds interesting, I'm afraid it's just not right for us. Best of luck in your writing career.

Sincerely,
Moth

Lucy said...

Dear Seventh Son: Thank you for contacting me with your work. Your world-building is great! Unfortunately, I just don't feel that this project is right for me. All the best, L. C.

Horserider said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for allowing us to consider your work. I’m sorry to say that this is not something we are interested in at this time. We receive hundreds of submissions every week and, unfortunately, cannot take them all on. This is a very subjective business and I wish you luck on your journey to publication.

Sincerely,

Horserider Literary Agency

Maricar said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. However, your work does not fit our needs at this time. Best of luck.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Raven56 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying "Agent for a Day" Agency. Unfortunately, we do not feel this story is a good fit for our list at this time. We encourage you to continue querying other agents.

Best of luck,

Raven56

PCB said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. We are not in a position to represent you at this time, but wish you all the very best in your writing endeavors.

Sincerely,
PCB

cwsherwoodedits said...

Thank you for your query. I'm going to have to pass.

Lipstick Lizzie said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for the chance to look at your work. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m the right agent for this project.

Best of luck,
Lizzie

Audrey E said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for query. I'm afraid that this piece isn't right for me and I will have to pass at this time.

Yours,
Audrey

Just_Me said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Your novel sounds intriguing but at this time does not suit our list. We wish you the best of luck placing it with another agency.

Sincerely,
Agent


Note: I'm pretty sure that title has been used, and the faulty genetic reasoning makes my head spin, even if it is magic. And there isn't enough to make this stand out from half-a-zillion other werewolf stories.

beth said...

Yup! You're getting my 4th request!

super agent nicole said...

Thank you for taking the time to submit a query. Unfortunately, I am unable to offer representation at this time.

Thank you,
Nicole

TFree said...

Thank you for considering me. Unfortunately, this piece isn’t right for me at this time. Good luck with this and future endeavors.

TF

sKim said...

Thank you for sending this original proposal. We regret that it doesn't suit our needs at the moment. Best of luck to you.

Taymalin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this story is not for me at this time. Best of luck with your future endeavors,

Taymalin

Brian Crawford said...

Thank you for sending me your work. Unfortunately, I must reject it. Don’t feel bad; I receive about 2,000 queries per week, and reject 99.99% of them. Assume I’m wrong about your book. Don’t give up. In the meantime, increase your chances of success by downloading my e-book, “Kick-ass Queries,” available on my website for only $199.99.

Jeannie said...

Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately your project is not what we’re looking to represent at this time. Best of luck.
- Jeannie

00 Pisces said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, but I'm afraid I won't be able to represent your novel. Good luck!

Inkblot said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I am passing on it. I wish you the best of luck in placing it elsewhere.

Regards,

Agent Inky

I reject this tearfully, because I loves wolfies, but there's too much backstory here and not enough about the real conflict.

austere said...

Dear Author #34

I’m afraid I have to regret.

Keep writing, and good luck with the words.

Regards,

ros said...

You lost me at 'interspecies breeding.' Just... no.

Janny said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query on SEVENTH SON, but I'm going to pass on it for now. The premise does have some potential, but it doesn't have a unique, fresh twist to it that I'd be looking for in a book like this. I encourage you to continue to submit elsewhere, however, as this is a very subjective business; what doesn't work for me might be right for someone else.

Good luck!

Sincerely,
Janny

Shawntelle said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission today. I am afraid I must pass since the premise didn't grab me. Good luck in seeking representation.

Sincerely,

Shawntelle

Ego said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your work. I regret I am not sufficiently enthusiastic to represent you at present. Note that this is a personal reaction and you may have success elsewhere.

Regards,

Ego

Thermocline said...

Thank you for your query. Your novel seems quite similar to others about people struggling with being werewolves. I am not going to be the best agent for you.

(Tell me what is unique about your story. Being from Argentina isn’t enough. How is his struggle with being a werewolf different?)

Bekkoni said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submisson. Unfortunately I will not be able to represent this project.

Best Wishes,
Bekkoni

(reason: too much werewolf already out there, seems a little too short)

Marybeth said...

Dear Author,

I regret to inform you that I am unable to represent your manuscript. Unfortunately I am not interested in this genre. Best of luck to you in the future.

Sincerely,
Marybeth

Aimless Writer said...

No thanks.
Why is this different from other teen wolf stories.

Joy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission and your interest in using me as an agent. After taking some time to consider your material, I have decided that this isn't right for me.

Best of luck in your writing endeavors,

Joy

Note: Did you know that "bento" is Japanese for lunch box? :)

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