Nathan Bransford, Author


Monday, April 13, 2009

Be An Agent for a Day: Query #31

This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here

Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!



Dear Agent for a Day:

When Kerri Ann marries tall, dark and handsome it doesn’t matter that he is Korean, until she is shunned by his conventional family. Unless being raised in a Montana shack by an alcoholic is a culture, she doesn’t have one. Her husband, California real estate developer Jae-Chun Lee, is seeped in old world bias and traditional marriage roles. He seizes her unexpected inheritance to rescue a joint venture deal which triggers every anxiety and agitation of her motherless youth.

Miscarriage, affair, marriage over. She disappears, launches her own real estate career and purchases the company she manages with a handshake, which doesn’t survive the ensuing offer from an aggressive corporation. She faces her new boss, her ex, only he’s not. He never finalized the divorce and she still wears his solitary pearl. Can the cultural divide be bridged, and why does she ask him for his mother’s broom?

This 100,000 word women’s fiction, and its potential sequels, clinch a quest to insure cross-cultural couples inhabit books as I raise my daughter born in Asia.

Thank you for consideration in representing A SINGLE PEARL.

Author

STATS: 3% request rate






315 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 315   Newer›   Newest»
Melissa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I don't think I'm the right agent for your book. I wish you best of luck in placing it elsewhere.

Melissa

Laura said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but the subject is not a good fit for me.

Best of luck,

Agent Laura

Kitti said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this doesn't fit with what I am looking for.

Best of luck,
Kitti

Lisa R said...

Dear A Single Pearl:

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately your project is not right for me. Another agent may feel differently. Best of luck,

Lisa R

sraasch said...

Dear Author,

Didn't spark enough for me. Sorry!

Thanks!

beth said...

Dear Author,

Although I appreciate your submission, I'm sorry but it just isn't for me. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.

Sincerely,
beth

(Reasoning: I had a hard time following the plot. The first paragraph made it seem like the story would be about making the marriage work. The second paragraph at first seemed to be about surviving life after marriage, then it was about coping with the ex. In the end, I wasn't sure what the final story really was about.)

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I'm afraid your project is not a good fit for me.

Agent99

Comments: I was initially really grabbed by the voice, but some of the passages and transitions were a little clunky, and the synopsis/plot was too briskly told for me to keep up with it. With some rewriting, this one might fly.

Agent X said...

Dear Author,

This is one of those letters I loathe to write as an agent, because it's clear that you write well.

Subjectively, however, the material in A SINGLE PEARL is not something I feel I could zealously represent as it would deserve.

I have no doubt, however, that you will be snatched up quickly, and I truly do wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Agent X

Chanelley said...

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not what I’m looking for at this time. However, do continue to query widely. After all, it does only take one agent to say yes!
All the best,
Agent for the day

Josephine Damian said...

form rejection

:)Ash said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your interest in my agency. Unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for you at this time. Best wishes as you continue your search.

Sincerely yours,

:)Ash

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, it's not right for me.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

[I actually found the second sentence of this query much more compelling than the first - and I think the whole query would flow better if the two sentences were reversed. That aside, I found the second paragraph stretches credulity. If she's savvy enough to launch a successful real estate career, I doubt she'd rely on a handshake deal to secure her company, and I think the author would have to work very, very hard to keep the reader from losing patience with the protagonist after that point. Also, the logistics of the acquisition, and also the whole thing with the pearl, seem cryptic and confusing, so I think those need to be clarified.]

EJ Lange said...

Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Your subject is interesting, but unfortunately, it is not the type of work I represent. I truly hope you find representation, as I might like to read your story once it is published. Good Luck!

Agent Erin

Caroline said...

Dear Author:

I don't think I could sell this manuscript. Please seek other agents.

Best of luck,

Agent Caroline

kdrausin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for requesting my representation. I applaud your determination and effort in completing your novel. Your story is not right for me at this time; however I encourage you to keep writing and pursuing representation.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

Sincerely,

KDrausin
(You grabbed me at the beginning and then lost me. My novice advice would be to keep your strong voice throughout the query and tighten it up.)

Rick said...

Author-

Sorry, but I don't represent Women's Lit.

If you have not already, you may want to check out AgentQuery. It can help you find an Agent who best suits your needs.

http://www.agentquery.com/

Sincerely,
Rick O

selestial-owg said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I rarely represent women's fiction, and your plot did not resonate strongly enough with me to pursue it further. I wish you the best of luck with your search.

Selestial



I felt like the set-up was for a story about making a marriage work within the confines of cultural bias. With the husband as a crook and an affair thrown in, I lost interest. It might have worked better had the set-up been different.

Keri Ford said...

The story idea seems interesting, so I'd like to the first three chapters and a synopsis. Email is fine.

Good Luck,
Keri

<><><><>
And no, I'm not being baised that we have a similar name!

David said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your project doesn't sound right for me.

Sincerely,
David

hannah said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your work, but it's not right for me at this time.

Best,
hannah

thelifter said...

Dear Author:

I'm not sure how to sell this book, but based on your query I want to ask for it. You get to the point, you establish plenty of conflict. The writing feels a little punched up and on the trendy side, but at least you can write.

I'd cut the part about your daughter. It feels like ax grinding to me. I'd cut the whole last sentence, as a matter of fact.

I'll take a partial, but only if you're willing to change the title.

Regards,

Mr. Snark

Ello said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Although the premise was very intriguing, it is not right for me at this time.

Good luck!

Side note - I really really wanted to like this query. It absolutely grabbed me with the first paragraph and then completely lost me in the second one. It was very confusing and choppy. I think if you rewrite this query carefully, it would generate requests because something here seems very interesting to me and different.

Derek said...

Dear Author,

I'm sorry, but I've already used up 4 out of my 5 manuscript requests, so I'm having to be more selective. I'll pass on this one.

Agent For A Day.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

While I'm afraid I must pass...
this query to another in this agency, I will say I enjoyed your query and believe in your project.

I'm certain you'll be hearing from the other agent shortly.

Agent XXX

**Ugh! If I wasn't down to 1 query,
I'd request this. I could be passing on a best seller to another agent.

Casey said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your time and consideration. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent A SINGLE PEARL and your career as a writer.

Best wishes,

Casey

***

Some of the transitions aren't smooth. Even if the subject interested me, this would make me leery.

suki said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me. I wish you luck in your search for representation.

Regards,
Suki


Reasoning: The first paragraph was intriguing (despite the typo (I think - seep instead of steep?). But the rest of the plot as described was too convoluted and implausible. Also, any time I see a message/purpose stated, it makes me wonder if the characters drive the story, or if it was all driven by the message.

Sophie W. said...

Dear Author of A Single Pearl,

Although your work shows merit, I cannot request further materials at this time. Keep in mind that this business is terribly subjective, and you'll probably get the chance to thumb your nose at me in the future.

Love,

Sophie

Rachel said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I am going to pass on this but I wish you luck finding an agent.

Nixy Valentine said...

Dear Author:

I'm sorry, but I'm not the right agent for your book.

Notes: The plot hook was confusing and slightly unfocused. I would make it shorter and more concise rather than trying to cover too much information in such a short time.

brian_ohio said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best,

Brian

jimnduncan said...

Thank you for querying me, but I'm afraid I must pass on your story. Best of luck in your continued writing endeavors.

(reason: is the query backstory or a summary of the story itself? either way, it fails to grab interest. I'm not sure what the main conflict in the story is here.)

Rick Daley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Authors Write Literary Agency. I have reviewed your query for A SINGLE PEARL, and I’m sorry to say that I do not feel that I am the best agent to represent your work at this time.

Please keep in mind that there are many talented agents out there, and opinions are subjective based on individual preferences, workload, and market climate.

Don’t be afraid to research other agents and query those that you feel are best suited to represent your work. Best of luck!

Regards,

Daley Agent for a Day

Monika said...

Thank you for your submission, but I do not think this project is right us. This is a subjective business and other agencies will feel differently. We wish you every success with your project.

jjdebenedictis said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent query; discovering new talent is one of the joys of being a literary agent, and I am always honoured to have the opportunity to read a writer's best work.

Please accept my regrets, however, as I won't be offering to represent this novel. I apologize for informing you of this using a form letter, but the volume of mail I receive makes it impractical for me to give personalized rejections.

I wish you the very best luck in finding a literary agent whose enthusiasm will bring your book the success it deserves!

Sincerely,
J. J. DeGoblin

~~~~~~~
For your reference, here are the most common reasons why I decline certain queries. Please note that if your submission was very good, my reasons for rejecting it were probably much subtler than the items on this list and cannot be put quickly into words. Again, I apologize for this form letter, but I cannot invest the time to critique those submissions I have chosen to not represent. Thank you for your understanding.


Most common reasons why I decline manuscripts:

[ ]--The manuscript is in a genre which I don't represent

[ ]--The query appears to be a non-personalized mass mailing

[ ]--The query/manuscript's presentation was worryingly unpolished
(E.g. Many spelling, grammar, punctuation or homophone errors; a non-standard format)

[ ]--The writing doesn't seem polished enough
(This improves with practice; your next novel may be excellent)

[ X ]--The plot doesn't sound compelling enough
(Again, this improves with practice and self-education)

[ ]--The plot sounds too similar to something book-buyers have already seen


Comments, if any:
The query doesn't give the sense that this book has a strong narrative to hold all the plot points together. Try focusing on your story's inciting incident, rather than giving a list of everything that happens.

Onovello said...

Dear Author:

Many thanks for your query. Unfortunately, I am not the right agent for this work.

With all best wishes,
Onovello

Jenn Johansson said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best of luck!
JJ

K. Andrew Smith said...

Dear author,

Thank you for your submission, A Single Pearl. Unfortunately, it's not quite right for me. I wish you good fortune in your quest for an agent.

Sincerely,

K. Andrew Smith

Bija Andrew Wright said...

Thanks for your interest, but your book is not right for me.

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I am not the right agent for this project. Good luck with your future queries.

Sincerely,
Amy

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I will have to pass at this time.

Best,

Meg Spencer

Craven said...

Thank you for your consideration, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck, Craven

quixotic said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, however, I do not feel excited enough about, A SINGLE PEARL to request anything further.

Good luck in your search for an agent.

Quixotic

scj said...

Sorry, but this isn't right for me. The query is confusing, and I don't understand any specifics of the plot or what the book is truly about. Best of luck.

kaseee said...

Dear Author,

Your project is not without merit, but it isn't right for us at this time. Keep in mind this is a subjective business and another agent may feel differently.

Best of luck,

Agent

Lois Lavrisa said...

Dear Author,

While I appreciate your consideration of our agency, I will have to pass on your project.
I am sorry to say I did not have the passionate response to it that I would need to request more or offer you representation. Obviously you want an agent who will stand enthusiastically behind your work.

Additionally, given today’s publishing climate I do not believe I would be able to get you the attention from a publisher that your book deserves.

Publishing is very subjective, though, and another agent may well feel differently.

I do wish you success in finding representation and, once again, thank you for the opportunity to consider your work.

Sincerely,

Lois Lavrisa
Agent for a day

Bane of Anubis said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission, but it isn't right for me. Best of luck,

Bane

(reasoning: could be interesting, but the Montana shack part seems a bit forced - though plausible, I guess - and I'd like more details. Also, why is it setup for a sequel - doesn't seem like it should be? Also, some of the awkward phraseology hurts the query's flow).

Renee Collins said...

Dear A Single Pearl,

Thanks for the query. Unfortunately, it's not quite right for me.

Best of luck,

Renee

romoak said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. While aspects of this story are intriguing, this story is not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your continued efforts. Please keep in mind that other agents are different.

-- While this is very interesting, I didn't follow the plot, not even sure what specifically the story is about. The query sounds like you have multiple storylines going on, and they didn't converge in the query for me.

David de Beer said...

Dear Author,

I'm interested. Please send my a detailed synopsis along with the first 3 chapters.

Thank you,
David de Beer

DeadlyAccurate said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your query and I apologize for this form reply.

I regret I have to pass on many interesting projects due to time constraints. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.


Sincerely,

DeadlyAccurate

Matilda McCloud said...

Thanks for your query. I'm afraid, I'm going to have to pass on this one.

Keep writing!

With my very best regards,

Matilda McCloud

Laurie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. While your premise sounds intriguing, I'm going to have to pass at this time.

All the best,
Laurie

Christine Rose said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your book isn't right for me. Agenting is subjective, though, and I wish you the best of luck!

Sincerely,
Megan

Cat said...

Dear Author,

thank you for submitting but it's not right for me.

Sincerely,
Cat

form rejection because I had to read it thrice to understand the plot. I know it is tempting to not use the name several times over but sometimes it is inevitable. It took me ages to understand who "her motherless youth" could be and I'm still not entirely sure. Try rephrasing you query and I am sure you will find representation since the theme seems interesting enough to me.

Cindy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, this project is not a good fit for me at this time.

All the best,
Cindy

AgentMan said...

Not for me. Best of luck.

AgentMan

Ramen with cheese said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for allowing RJM Agency to consider your work, but I’m afraid it’s not a good fit for our list. We wish you every bit of luck in your search for representation.

RJM

Madison said...

Dear Author,

Thank you so much for submitting your work and considering me to represent it. While the story sounds quite interesting, I am afraid it does not fit my list at this point in time and I must regretfully pass. I know rejections can be hard to take, but please keep submitting and following your dream.

Best of luck in your agent hunt!

Sincerely,

Madison

Reason for rejection: Good start but the ending lost me. Where did the broom come from?

KathyF said...

Dear Author of Query #31,

Thank you for your query, but A SINGLE PEARL isn't right for me.

KathyF

Superfast said...

Thank you so much for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't feel I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Good luck and keep writing!

Jeni said...

Dear Single Pearl,
Thank you for your query. I sincerely appreciate the opportunity to review your proposal, and found the premise for your manuscript intriguing. However, I’m afraid that the manuscript does not meet my needs at this time. Please do continue to send your work to other agents, as someone else may feel differently.
Best of luck in your publishing endeavors,
Jeni

Ethan Rose said...

The cause detracts from the appeal for me but might work with a different agent.

Barbara Webb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sharing A SINGLE PEARL, but I am going to pass.

Best of luck!

Barbara

DCS said...

I'm not going to be one to represent your book, unfortunately.

lesleylsmith said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter.
Unfortunately, your novel is not a good fit for me.
Good luck!
-Lesley
p.s. This premise is promising but the letter was a bit confusing. Focus on the most interesting part(s) of the book.

Pinkie said...

Dear Author,

I'm a bit confused by the plot structure based on your query. I suspect that you may also be somewhat baffled by your book. Please query again when the idea is clearer to you, and I'm sure it will be clearer to me.

Thank You.
CPK

Barb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.

All the best,
Barb

Karen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I do not believe this is for me at this time. I wish you luck finding representation.

On a personal note, the plot does sound like it could be very interesting, but needs to be explained more concisely. Some elements may or may not be important. Did I read something in the end about a broom? Does that matter to the story? If so, I'd like to know that up front.

I wish you luck.
Karen

dhole said...

Dear Author, thanks for your query. Unfortunately, it's not right for my list, best of luck, etc.

(Good first pages could have changed my mind about this.)

Steve Axelrod said...

This could be amazing, but it's a bit much for me. Good luck with it, though.

Other Lisa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately it's not what I'm looking for. Best of luck in your search for representation, and keep writing!

Best,

Agent X

TheDivaAgent said...

Dear Author,

Every submission is important to us. Unfortunately, we are no longer accepting new clients. We wish you the best of luck in finding an agent to represent your work.

Yours,

The Diva Agent

Lucy A muse ision said...

Thanks. Sorry.

Lucy A muse ision
Fictitious Agent

Cassandra said...

Dear Author,

I'm afraid that at this time I am unable to offer representation for your novel. This is purely a business decision, and unfortunately means that I must turn away many talented individuals. I encourage you to continue querying agents you think might be interested.

I appreciate your interest in Agent for A Day, and wish you every success in your writing career.



Regards,
Cassandra

Vicky said...

Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately, this project is not right for us. Best of luck finding representation for your work.

All best.

Scott said...

Dear Author,

A very good query and I'm sure your work will find a home, but I have to pass as it's not my area of interest.

Best of luck,

Scott

Jean said...

Thanks for your submission. I'm sorry, but it's just not what I'm looking for at this time.

Dawn G. said...

Dear Author,

Unfortunately, I am unable to offer you representation at this time. Thank you for submitting your work for consideration. Please keep me in mind for future projects.

Kindest Regards,

D. Agent

Heather said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but it's not for me.

Good luck!
Heather


I was confused by the plot as shown here. And in the end I'm still not sure what the book is really about.

Harsh Critic said...

Although there seems to be a lot of events in the book, I am unsure about what the book is mainly about. It seems episodic.

I'm sorry, not for me.

Dorine White said...

Dear Author,

I find your work of intrest, but I am not in a position to accept new work at this time.

Thank you,
Agent for a day

Endless Secrets said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, unfortunately I specialize in YA fiction and I do not believe that your novel will be able to keep me interested for all 100 000 words.

best of luck

-Lea

Anonymous said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your recent query. Unfortunately we do not feel strongly enough about your work to pursue it further.

We wish you the best of luck in finding suitable representation.

Sincerely
The Fake Agency

SammyStewart said...

Form Rejection

Annalee said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your manuscript. I'm afraid it isn't right for me.

Regards,
-Annalee

-----------
Reason: While I adore and encourage multiculturalism in fiction, I don't rep this genre (not my cuppa).

Gwen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest. Unfortunately, this project is not a good fit for me at the present time.

Regards,

Gwen

***

(Side note: I was distracted by the grammar errors in the first sentence. I am also concerned that the word count is too lengthy given the genre, and so I must pass.)

Nik said...

Thank you for your query, but I'm going to pass this time.

Agent KES said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I am not able to offer you representation at this time. Best of luck,

Agent KES

Sasha said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your manuscript.

Good luck and yours truly,
AftD

Comments: The query's tone makes the husband seem like a bad guy. Perhaps that's not what you intend?

ccallicotte4 said...

Thank you for sending me your query. I appreciate you considering me.

I reviewed your proposal and unfortunately am going to pass on representing it. Please keep in mind that this is a subjective business, and another agent may feel differently. I encourage you to query widely.

Best of luck to you.

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit.

I regret to inform you that at this time I would like to pass on your book.

Best of luck in the future,

Regards,
Agent for a Day, Bookworm Megs

Kristi said...

Thank you for your query. I don't feel this is right for me but I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,
Kristi

Jen C said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to the Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever. I regret that, at this time, your project is not quite what I’m looking for. I wish you the best of luck in your continuing search for representation.
Sincerely,
Jen C.

Mystery Robin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I am not the right agent for this book. Best of luck!

Robin

Two points: I think you mean "steeped" not "seeped" in the first paragraph, and isn't Lee a Chinese name, not a Korean name? These things gave me pause.

bridge said...

Dear Author,
I'm afraid I'm not the right person for this. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
Bridge
On a personal note, this didn't grab me. I thought there were probably some great points, but nothing really called out. I think it could be more concise, less of you telling what the book is about and more showing why I need to know more. Hope this helps,
Bridge

Kelly Guentner said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the query. I regret to inform you that this is not the right work for me to represent at this time.

I wish you luck in your future writing career.

Sincerely,
Kelly Guentner

Tara Ryan said...

Dear Author,
Thank you so much for submitting your work to me. Unfortunately, A Single Pearl is not a good fit for me at this time. I wish you much luck in your writing endeavors.
Agent-for-a-day

Kavanaugh and Byrne's LA said...

Dear Author

Thank you opportunity to consider your work at Kavanaugh and Byrne’s Literary Agency.

We do not feel that are the best match with this project.
We wish you every success with this and other ventures

Flower Kavanaugh

ikmar said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. Sorry, but it is not for me.

Sincerely,
Agent for the Day

Disgruntled Bear said...

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately I am going to have to pass at this time.
I wish you the best of luck with another agent.

Sincerely,
Agent

PurpleClover said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for considering me but I don't feel I can represent this at this time. Please consider me for future works.

Regards,
PC

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

I would love to see more of this! Please send the first three chapters or approximately 50 pages, whichever is longest.

Best regards,
Agent Pro Tempore

StrugglingToMakeIt said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Best,

Agent

(Cutting this one really hurt. I liked the premise and might have asked to see it if I had more votes. Still, I think the query could use some tightening. I think there's an attempt to put too much story into this query. I think it would be stronger if the plot was boiled down more to its essentials.)

ai-hua said...

While I would love to support Asian writing, the only reason why I'm even hesitating on the rejection is the cultural aspect... which doesn't bode well for my enthusiasm in selling it. Rejection with personal note of encouragement.

Jeanne Tomlin said...

Form rejection

PPP said...

Dear Author,

I'm a little lost. But I liked some of the culture clash elements.

Signed,
PPP

Pap said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in my agency. However, I will not be requesting any further materials from you at this time. Please note that submissions are a very subjective business and my comments are not a critique on your writing ability. I strongly encourage you to continue your search for an agent and wish you all the best.

Your sincerely,

Make-believe Agency

Katy said...

Thank you for your submission. The premise is interesting, however, I don't feel I am the right agent to represent your work.
Best of luck,
Katy

Adam Heine said...

Nice idea, but I don't get a good feel for why the character's are doing what they're doing. With that, the final question about the broom is not intriguing, just confusing.

I'm sorry, but this isn't right for me. Thank you for submitting and good luck.

Merry Monteleone said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Only Literary Agency Insane Enough To Trust Me With Queries. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pass.

Best of luck,

Merry

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for thinking of me, your novel sounds interesting but it's not for me at this time.

Good luck with your search for an agent.

Kind regards,

amyandnick

(PS - I'm sorry, I think it's an intriguing idea but I feel like the query is not quite there yet. Good luck.)

Eden said...

Thanks for the opportunity but I'm afraid I'll have to pass on representing this piece.

Best of luck with your writing.

~Eden

Thomas said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not appropriate for my current needs. I wish you luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,
Tally

The Classic Carol said...

Thanks for your query, but I'm sorry to say I'm not the right agent for your book. I wish you the best of luck in your search for representation.

CJK said...

Thank you for your query. I am not interested in further materials on this work. Good luck with your search for representation. CJK

MK said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission. After careful consideration, I've decided this manuscript isn't for us at this time.

Good luck with your search.

Best,
Agent For a Day

Cat Hellisen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.  Your proposal is interesting, but I don't feel that the project is quite right for me. I wish you the best of luck in finding representation elsewhere.

Best,
Cat.

Melinda said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but unfortunately this project isn't right for me. Best of luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,

Melinda

Vic K said...

Thank you for submitting to my agency, however I am not able to offer representation at this time.

Regards,
Vic K.

Reason; This is a personal taste call. I'm realising that more and more, when agents say they won't represent work they don't feel passionate about, they mean it. It's a fair comment and I get that.

KC in SF said...

Thank you for your query, but I'm unable to offer representation at this time.

best wishes,

KC in SF

Gregory said...

Dear Author;

Form rejection.

Cordially,

Agent Gregory

[Others have pretty well articulated the issues with this one.]

Krista said...

Sorry, form rejection.

Sage said...

Dear S.P.,

There's definitely some promise with this book, and I have no doubt you'll find an agent, but I am afraid I just didn't feel it was exactly right for me.

Thanks,
Sage

bookshop said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent submission. While our agency is not the best fit for this particular project, other agents may feel differently. I wish you luck in your search for representation.


Regards,

Bookshop

______

( I just want you to know that I've been going back and forth about this for literally hours.

When I first read this query I LOVED it. It was my favorite of all the bunch. I think, however, that I was (am) in love with the idea of a steamy romance amid a backdrop of high finance and culture clash, between an American and a Korean. Hot and multi-cultural.

What I ultimately feel about this one, however, upon subsequent reconsidering, is that as much as I like the concept, the style of this query isn't enough to convince me of the writing.

There are too many plot points that don't connect, too many more that don't follow through. I'm not in love with the inclusion of random bits of backstory, like the throwaway reference to her mother, the lack of explanation for her random inheritance, or the clash with his family that doesn't seem to be part of the central conflict.

In fact, I'm not sure what the central conflict *is* other than their business dealings. And as long as they both stay real estate agents, I feel that this would have a hard time grabbing me or any readership. "Real estate" just isn't escapist enough, and I think what I am hoping to find from this query is escapist crosscultural romance.

I *love* him not divorcing her, I love her wearing his pearl. What I want more of is motivation behind what he does, and why he comes back. I don't really know anything about him from this query beyond his nationality and his betrayal of her. I need to see a hint that he loves her before I get to the end where she's wearing his jewelry and they're exchanging smoldering looks, because without the previous hints, I don't know how to feel about him.

And I want to love him, I do. I want to love this book. I am so close. But right now I feel that I can't request this as it stands. That makes me unhappy because I want to. But I would need to see a reworked query. If I didn't have to limit myself to 5 I would ask for a revamped query, 30 pages, and a synopsis, and take it from there. But as it is, I just want to say that I *really* wish you all the luck in the world with this. I'd buy romance like this (sans real estate) so fast.

Very best of luck! )

Selene said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for contacting Selene Literary. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that this project is not right for us. We wish you the best of luck in finding an agent that is as enthusiastic about this book as it deserves.

Best regards,
Selene Da Agent
Selene Literary

Nay said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.
I found aspects of your story very intriguing, however I am not convinced that it is the right project for me.
I’m sure your project will find a home somewhere.
Best of luck to you

-Nay

Annie said...

I'd pass.

Reason: I would read pages if the story had a more coherent feel to it. I like the setting, I like the Korean angle, but I just can't see from the query what the story is actually about.

Sol said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Although your overview suggests a few potential elements of interest(cross cultural love affair, rags to riches, and a happy ending)I am unable to request a partial at this time.

Kind regards

Sol Nima

Julie Weathers said...

Dear Author,

There were interesting points in your submission, but I’m afraid I can’t offer representation. This is a subjective business, and what appeals to one reader doesn’t always appeal to another. With my current workload, I have to be very discriminating and take on only projects I am passionate about.

I urge you to continue your quest to be published and wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

J.M. Agent

(The inexhaustible lists grew old in a hurry. I skimmed further and the lists continue. The book is half done at 86,000 words. It should be done or very close to it at that word count. It should be done, proofed, simmered, proofed again, revised about seven times and then sent to beta readers and polished before you query.)

Jessumby said...

Dear Author

Thank you for sending me your query. I regret to inform you that it does not suit the needs of my list at this time.

Regards, Jessumby

theflightytemptress said...

Dear Single Pearl,

Thank you for your submission, but unfortunately it’s not for me. Publishing is a very subjective business, though, and another agent may feel differently. Best of luck in your continued search.

I like the concept, but you need to tighten your query a bit. It's not clear to me how much of the story is concerned with the beginning of the marriage and the "end." And I have no idea what "Mother's Broom" means. Try to clear that up, and I think you'll do better. :)

Yours,

Kat Brauer

thin said...

Dear Author,
While it seems like an interesting premise for a book, I'm sorry to say that I cannot take on the project. Thank you for considering me, and best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
Thin

RW said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Polenth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. As your story didn't resonate with me, I'm going to have to pass.

--
Polenth

RW said...

Dear Author:

This project sounds promising, and I’m interesting in learning more about it. At your earliest convenience will you please forward to me by email 20-30 sample pages (rounding off to the nearest chapter break)? Please put “Requested material” in the subject line, and I’ll read it and get back to you as soon as my schedule allows. Thank you for your query, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours truly,

RW

CarrieK said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but your project does not meet our needs at this time.

CarrieK

wickerman said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I am afraid it did not hold my interest and i must pass at this time. I wish you luck with Single Pearl.

Yours,

The Wickerman

Senior Chocolate Specialist, Bransford Lit

Poppy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I am afraid that your work is not right for me at this time, however I would urge you to continue to submit to other agents: this is a subjective business.

Agent

Dara said...

Dear Pearl,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not think I am the right person for this book. I wish you success in your search for representation.

Best,

Dara

Specifics: While I find the premise intriguing (I'm a huge fan of cross cultural stories), I had a difficult time following the plot and the ultimate goal of the story. I think a tighter focus on the plot progression will make this something of interest.

Deniz Bevan said...

Thank you for your query, but I wouldn't be the right agent in this instance.
I wish you luck finding the right home for your work.
Sincerely,
Ms Agent Agency

Dale - Las Vegas said...

Thank you for your submission but it doesn't seem right for me at this time.

Good luck in the future.

Jabez said...

Thank you for your query. I am interested in your manuscript and would like to see more. Please email me the first 30-40 pages.

Soratian said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, and I'll like to read a partial. Please send me the first 50 pages, accompanied by a detailed synopsis. These should be in standard manuscript formatting.

Regards,
Soratian

(Comments: Hooked in by the cultural conflict of a Western girl marrying into a traditional Korean family. Couple breaks up but do they really? And yes, I want to know why she wants the broom!)

JuJu said...

Dear Author,

Though your project shows some promise and sounds interesting, unfortunately it is just not the right one for me. Please keep in mind that appeal as a novel is entirely subjective – so keep at it!

Sincerely,
JuJu


(it just didn't have the spark I enjoy in a summary/blurb. Gosh I feel so mean on my rejection frenzy)

Sherry Ficklin said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for thinking of me, but I'm going to have to pass. Best of luck finding another agent!

Sincerely, Agent Faux

Sarah Laurenson said...

Form rejection.


The last line makes it seem like this is only a personal quest rather than a writing career. Typos in the query make me hesitate as well.

John said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for giving me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, it's not something I think I can sell at present. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.

educlaytion said...

Thanks for submitting. This work may be saleable, but I'm not seeking this genre.

lucy in the sky said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not believe I am the best person to represent your work.

Kats said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but I didn't get a good understanding of what your novel is about from your letter and don't believe I'm the right agent for this.

Best,
Agent for a Day, Kats

Tree said...

Dear Author:
I want to thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. Unfortunately, I did not connect well enough with your project to pursue it further. As I'm sure you know, agenting is a very subjective business. Although your project didn't fit with my particular list, another agent may respond very differently.
Please accept my best wishes for success in your writing career and finding the perfect advocate for your work.
Sincerely,
Tree

Sun Up said...

Not what I'm looking for at the moment, but very interesting all the same. Best of luck to you!


Alicia

Heather Harper said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. After careful consideration, I regret that I’m unable to request your manuscript at this time.

Best,
Agent for a day

Janeal C. Falor said...

Thank you for the opportunity to look at you work. Unfortunately, I don't feel this is the right project for me.

Lipstick Lizzie said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for the chance to look at your work. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m the right agent for this project.

Best of luck,
Lizzie

Fairduncan said...

Dear Author

Thanks for querying us. I regret I have to pass on this one, but wish you every success in finding representation.

Cordially Yours,
Agent

Savannah Pens said...

Dear Author: Thank you for your query, however this manuscript does not fit my agency's needs. Best wishes. Savannah Pens Agent

Venus Vaughn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I was very interested by your submission and hope you continue to pursue your writing career as you have some good ideas and an intriguing voice. Though I liked your project, ultimately it is not something I will be able to devote the right amount of energy towards.

I encourage you to hone your craft and keep submitting. Just because this isn't the right project for me, that doesn't mean you won't find representation elsewhere.

Best of luck,

~Venus Vaughn

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for letting me consider your project. Unfortunately, it is not quite right for my list. I must therefore step aside and encourage you to submit elsewhere.

Best,
Agent

Amethyst Greye Alexander said...

Dear Author,

I've reviewed your query but am afraid your project isn't a good fit with the works I represent. I hope you won't let this discourage you, however, as every agent has different tastes and you're sure to find representation that will better suit your needs.

Thank you for considering me.
Amethyst Adams

Anonymous said...

Form Rejection.

Agent DC

Wandering Spirit said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Unfortunately your book is not of a genre that I am best suited to represent. However, all writing is of value and I wish you the best in your endeavours.

Best wishes

Agent for a Day

Tamara said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I wish you the best of luck finding a home for this project, but after consideration, I have to say it's not for me.

Agent for a Day
(Tamara)

Patti K. said...

Thank you for your submission but I do not believe it is right for me at this time. Good luck in your quest for the perfect agent!

Patti K.

IQOkie said...

Dear Author,

I like your voice, but the story isn't right for me.

Tricia

Maryann Miller said...

So sorry, but this is not right for us. Good luck placing it elsewhere.

lilianamama said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your interest in the "Be An Agent For a Day" contest. I am interested by your story, but confused. I'm not sure where it begins. Apparently the act of being shunned is the point of action that begins your story, but there is no indication of what her corresponding action is. In fact, you use a flashback in a query letter, then move on to her husband's actions. Your next paragraph launches through three massive events in a woman's life in one sentence; it's as if a miscarriage, affair and divorce are meaningless in this book. I suggest you attempt to use text from your story that displays your skill as a fiction author. Show rising tension, character responses, arc, resolution and if at all possible, how your main character changes throughout the book. Only use the story's major characters.

I wish you all the best.

Meggrs said...

Form rejection. Query's a mess.

Lupina said...

Thank you but it's not for me at this time.

The Lupina Agency

Horserider said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for allowing us to consider your work. I’m sorry to say that this is not something we are interested in at this time. We receive hundreds of submissions every week and, unfortunately, cannot take them all on. This is a very subjective business and I wish you luck on your journey to publication.

Sincerely,

Horserider Literary Agency

Marilyn Peake said...

Dear Author of A SINGLE PEARL:

Thank you for your query. I regret to inform you that I cannot offer you representation at this time. Please do not in any way interpret this as meaning that your book doesn’t have merit or that you should give up on writing. Follow your dreams. I wish you all the best in your search for a literary agent.

Sincerely,
Writerly Angst Literary Agent

Jenn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. While your story sounds interesting, I do not believe it is appropriate for my needs at this time.

Sincerely,
Fake Agent

---I'm interested, but something's missing. The writing style of the query was too choppy for me, and left me wondering if the book would be the same.

Elizabeth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel strongly enough about the work to request further material.

Best regards,

Agent Elizabeth

The Writers Canvas said...

Thanks for your submission. At the present time, it doesn't fit our list. I wish you the best with another agent who might be a better fit.

Elaine

(interesting concept but I found too many names/details confusing. Maybe boil down to main points, 3-5sentences?)

Sara Cox Landolt said...

Dear Author,
I received and read your query. I'm going to pass. I know you can tighten this query, stick with it!
Best to you,
Agent SCL

Lucy said...

Dear Author: Thank you for contacting us. Unfortunately, we do not feel that we are a suitable agency to represent your work. We wish you every success in your search for an agent. Sincerely, L. C.

Maricar said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. However, your work does not fit our needs at this time. Best of luck.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this project is not a good fit for me. I appreciate your time and consideration, and wish you luck in finding representation.
Best,

Agent M

Moth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission to Moth's Literary Agency. Please email me your first 50 pages, and include a short synopsis as well.

Thank you,
Moth

SGF said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but I am going to pass.

I like the subject matter but I don't have a sense of the plot...you've just described the events. As well, your grammar needs a little work.

Regards,
SGF

Raven56 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying "Agent for a Day" Agency. Unfortunately, we do not feel this story is a good fit for our list at this time. We encourage you to continue querying other agents.

Best of luck,

Raven56

KareFree Kennels said...

A Single Pearl

Sorry, not for me.

Best of luck,
Sheryl

PCB said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. We are not in a position to represent you at this time, but wish you all the very best in your writing endeavors.

Sincerely,
PCB

Audrey E said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for query. I'm afraid that this piece isn't right for me and I will have to pass at this time.

Yours,
Audrey

Just_Me said...

You're getting stuck in MAYBE limbo. This sounds like it has a ton of potential. The writing in the query is tight, the events new and fresh, there is a market. What I'm wavering on is can I love the voice? And is the execution good.

The 5 pages attached would make a world of difference between fence sitting and an immediate YES!

Janny said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me with A SINGLE PEARL. Unfortunately, this isn't a project I can take on at this time, but I wish you the best of luck elsewhere.

Sincerely,
Janny

super agent nicole said...

Dear author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit a query. Unfortunately, I am unable to offer representation at this time.

Thank you,
nicole

TFree said...

Thank you for considering me. Unfortunately, this piece isn’t right for me at this time. Good luck with this and future endeavors.

TF

sKim said...

Thank you for sending this original proposal. We regret that it doesn't suit our needs at the moment. Best of luck to you.

Mira said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mira said...

Dear Author,

Ket me try that again.

This is a tough one for me. I like the concept of cross-culturalism - a very timely and relevant issue, and clearly one with great meaning to you personally.

However, I'm not requesting a partial because I'm not quite sure about the genre or the message..... Is this a romance? Is this about two people finding each other again despite conflicts and misunderstandings?

Or is this about a woman liberating herself from difficulties that beset her - including her ex-husband? I can't quite tell from your query.

I would welcome a revised query that would give me a better sense of the meaning of the novel.

My very best wishes for your success as a novelist!

Mira

Brian Crawford said...

Thank you for sending me your work. Unfortunately, I must reject it. Don’t feel bad; I receive about 2,000 queries per week, and reject 99.99% of them. Assume I’m wrong about your book. Don’t give up. In the meantime, increase your chances of success by downloading my e-book, “Kick-ass Queries,” available on my website for only $199.99.

Jeannie said...

Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately your project is not what we’re looking to represent at this time. Best of luck.
- Jeannie

00 Pisces said...

Dear Author,
I think your writing shows promise, but as a reader, I would never be able to sufficiently get over the husband seizing the wife's inheritance, and would be unlikely to root for them as a couple. Regretfully, I'm going to have to pass. Best of luck to you,

00Pisces

Inkblot said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. You show talent in this letter, but ultimately I am passing. I wish you the best of luck in placing it elsewhere.

Regards,

Agent Inky

Great voice, solid premise, but I felt like too much of the letter was a list of facts, rather than introducing us to what the main conflict feels like.

Brigita said...

Thank you for sending me your query. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.

austere said...

Dear Author #31

Regrets.

Good luck with your writing.

Regards,

ros said...

Yes, please! I'd like to see a full manuscript for this one. I'm intrigued by the way clash of cultures plays out in the life of this woman.

The only word of caution I'd give is about your personal 'quest'. I'm not interested in that - I want a good, well-written book that will sell. And I'm nervous that books written to fulfil a social function might be heavy-handed morality tales. The rest of your query doesn't read like that so I'm taking it, but that paragraph did make me pause for a minute.

Belinda Frisch said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. However, I am not able to offer representation at this time.

Best Wishes,
Belinda

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