Nathan Bransford, Author


Monday, April 13, 2009

Be An Agent for a Day: Query #27

This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here

Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!



Dear Agent for a Day:

I understand from your blog that you are interested in young adult and science fiction. I believe you will enjoy GHOSTLAND (82,000 words), a dystopian YA in the vein of Neal Shusterman's UNWIND and Scott Westerfeld's UGLIES.

In a society that breeds perfection, seventeen-year-old Dax is a mistake – and mistakes are illegal. His survival depends on his ability to be invisible, to make the world forget he exists. But Dax has heard rumors of a place where “defects” aren’t killed for their freckles, mismatched eyes, or mental disabilities.

They call it the Promised Land.

Serenity Faire’s family calls it dangerous – a threat to national security. Which is why they allow Dax to live when he is caught stealing, forcing him instead to help them find this city that has eluded the government for centuries. Their search leads them through the tunnels of Washington D.C.’s abandoned subways, into the heart of an America that was lost years ago. But in this forgotten world, Dax and Serenity uncover their own secret – a romance that is even more illegal than Dax’s freckles. Their growing affection has consequences that echo through the White House, drawing the attention of the oppressive ruling family and threatening both the surface world and the subway city. Because the only thing worse than a defect who is allowed to live is a defect who is allowed to love.

I am currently a freelance writer for the Mountain Valley News, a local paper in Cedaredge, CO, as well as a student at Colorado State University in Pueblo.

Thank you so much for your time. The full manuscript of GHOSTLAND is available for your consideration.

I look forward to hearing back from you.

Sincerely,
Author

STATS: 33% request rate






323 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 323   Newer›   Newest»
ai-hua said...

Sounds really great, really interesting... but there are 23 queries to go and I have 2 more request slots. I'm afraid this one doesn't pull me enough to use one of them on it. Rejection with nice personal note.

(If I weren't constrained by the number of request slots, this would have been a request.)

Anonymous said...

cool. Sounds like gattaca. I would want to read this but I only have two requests left. Also am not really a fan of dystopian fiction so I'll pass:


Dear author,
Your manuscript is just not right for me. Thanks for querying.

sincerely,
moniza

Sooki Scott said...

Wow! I'm hooked. Send me a full right away.

Derek said...

Dear Author,

Your book sounds quite promising, but I've already used up 4 out of my allotted 5 manuscript request rights, so I'm having to be more selective. I'll pass on this one.

Agent For A Day.

sraasch said...

Dear Author,

While I LOVE post-apocalyptic stories, there are so many right now and unless the story has real never-been-done-before charm, it'd be a hard sell. This one didn't "pop" enough for me.

Thanks!
Sara

Caroline said...

Dear Author:

While your novel sounds interesting, I feel that it reminds me too much of UNWIND for me to sell it. Please contact me with future projects.

Best of luck,

Agent Caroline

David said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission. This was a close call for me, but I'm afraid I'm not quite enthusiastic enough about it to request more material.

Sincerely,
David

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Please submit the entire manuscript via email.

Agent XXX


(4 down 1 to go) Nathan, can I use my immunity query idol?

**Loved it!!
Enjoyed the premise, his conflict and the whole live and love thing
That could be the movie version tagline.

Lisa R said...

Dear Ghostland:

Please send me your manuscript--attach it as a Microsoft Word document. Thanks.

Lisa R

This was extremely well written and tightly contstructed not to mention very intriguing. Although some may point out that this premise has been done before in one way or another, the writing in this query really pulled me in--enough to want to read it.

beth said...

Dear Author,

Please send me sample pages immediately!

(Reasoning: a great hook, clear plot/characterization. My only worry is that this is TOO similar to some of the comparative works, but if the writing is unique, I'd be sold with this one!)

Onovello said...

(Please forgive if this is a repeat post -- something went awry when I hit "Publish.")

Dear Author:

Many thanks for your query. While I'm not enthusiastic enough about this project to request, another agent will be, and I encourage you to keep looking.

With best wishes for your success in finding representation for this work,

Onovello

Chanelley said...

Thank you for submitting your query, which I read with great interest. I would like to see more of your work, so if you could attach the first thirty pages as a reply to this email, I’d appreciate it.
All the best,
Agent for the day

Sophie W. said...

Dear Author of Shadowland,

Unfortunately, your premise and plot sound too reminiscent of UGLIES for me to be comfortable with taking on this project. You certainly have talent, and I would appreciate it if you queried me regarding future projects.

Love,

Sophie

reader said...

I'm on the fence about this. It does remind me of Gattaca quite a bit and since I only three slots left to request a mss, I'll have to pass.

I urge you to keep querying, as this does have potential. I don't think you'll have trouble finding representation for this.

Best of luck.

AgentMan said...

We don't handle YA fiction, sorry.

AgentMan

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I will have to pass at this time.

Best,

Meg Spencer

Nixy Valentine said...

Dear Author:

I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm the right agent for this project.

Notes: Sounds too similar to other popular and well-known works and I'm not clear what the difference is. Also, deadly freckles?

On the up-side, the query was very well written and one of the better ones I've read today. It was really the overly familiar plot that had me hesitating.

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Your manuscript sounds interesting. You seem to know the YA market, and I love that there's some romance mixed with science fiction. Please send the first 30 pages to my email.

Sincerely,
Megan

Libby Martin said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for querying me on your dystopian Young Adult novel, GHOSTLAND. I find GHOSTLAND’s concept to be a very interesting one. I love dystopian themed novels, and think this will be a good sell. Please send the first fifty pages and the original query to libbymartin@muserliterary.com with REQUESTED MATERIAL in the subject line.

Have a fabulous day!
Love,
Libby

romoak said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I am interested in your premise and your writing style. Please send a synopsis and the first 50 pages.

thelifter said...

Dear Author:

Sounds a little like stuff we've seen before, but just a little. I'm hoping to God you can write and that your way of telling the story is very original, but I'm willing to give you the chance.

Send it over!

Regards,

Mr. Snark

Keri Ford said...

Thank you for submitting, but unfortunately I didn’t connect with this story idea.

Good Luck,
Keri


<><><><><><><><>

This genre isn't something I read, so the story idea really, REALLY needs to stand out for me to want to read more. And even then, if I were an agent, I'd have to pass due to my lack of knowledge with the genre.

jimnduncan said...

Thank you for querying me, but I'm afraid I must pass on your story. Best of luck in your continued writing endeavors.

(reason: this has too much of a ring of familiarity to me. I might have leaned toward requesting pages if I had seen something about why people are killed for their imperfections)

suki said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me. I wish you luck in your search for representation.

Regards,
Suki


Reasoning: Similarity to other things out there, even though I think the query is well-written and the idea interesting.

Agent X said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent query. Please send the full manuscript for GHOSTLAND as a Word document attached to this e-mail. I very much look forward to reading it!

Sincerely,

Agent X

Colorado Writer said...

Dear Scott,
Please send the full manuscript.
Thank you and I look forward to reading your work.
Best,
Agent Name

John said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for giving me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, it's not something I think I can sell at present. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.

sirayn said...

Dear X,

Sounds great! Send me the full manuscript, please.

Today’s Agent

Agent Unknown said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Please send the first three chapters and a synopsis.

Agent Unknown

DeadlyAccurate said...

Forget sample pages. Send me the whole manuscript now.

Sincerely,

DA

TheDivaAgent said...

Dear Author,

We at The Divalicious Agency understand and appreciate the hard work required to craft a novel. Unfortunately, we are not accepting submissions at this time.

We wish you the best in finding representation for your novel.

Yours,

The Diva Agent

***
I've already used all my selections, alas, the headiness of power. Excellent query.

:)Ash said...

Dear Author:

Please send your full manuscript as a Word doc to ash@agency.net.

Your query is well-written and the premise of the novel is good. However, I will confess that I am a bit concerned that the plot is too similar to UGLIES. I would like to read more to see how your book differs from Westerfeld's.

Sincerely yours,

:)Ash

David de Beer said...

Dear Author,

there is potential here but unfortunately not enough to win me over. Better luck placing this elsewhere.

Sincerely,

David de Beer

jjdebenedictis said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent query; discovering new talent is one of the joys of being a literary agent, and I am always honoured to have the opportunity to read a writer's best work.

Please accept my regrets, however, as I won't be offering to represent this novel. I apologize for informing you of this using a form letter, but the volume of mail I receive makes it impractical for me to give personalized rejections.

I wish you the very best luck in finding a literary agent whose enthusiasm will bring your book the success it deserves!

Sincerely,
J. J. DeGoblin

~~~~~~~
For your reference, here are the most common reasons why I decline certain queries. Please note that if your submission was very good, my reasons for rejecting it were probably much subtler than the items on this list and cannot be put quickly into words. Again, I apologize for this form letter, but I cannot invest the time to critique those submissions I have chosen to not represent. Thank you for your understanding.


Most common reasons why I decline manuscripts:

[ ]--The manuscript is in a genre which I don't represent

[ ]--The query appears to be a non-personalized mass mailing

[ ]--The query/manuscript's presentation was worryingly unpolished
(E.g. Many spelling, grammar, punctuation or homophone errors; a non-standard format)

[ ]--The writing doesn't seem polished enough
(This improves with practice; your next novel may be excellent)

[ X ]--The plot doesn't sound compelling enough
(Again, this improves with practice and self-education)

[ ]--The plot sounds too similar to something book-buyers have already seen


Comments, if any:
Based on the query, your world-building doesn't seem convincing. It isn't clear why imperfection or love would be considered so terrible in this world, and for that reason, I couldn't tell whether the story itself would be a compelling read.

Melissa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I don't think I'm the right agent for your book. I wish you best of luck in placing it elsewhere.

Melissa


Thoughts: Close, very close. I'm a sucker for post-apocalyptic novels, but I'm saying no because I'm not sure how this would stand out in the market. Also, I've only got two acceptances left.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

You're writing is intriguing, but I'm afraid this is not a good fit for me.

Agent99

Comment: What sets this apart from the other dystopian novels in which genetic imperfects are outcasts? I would need a stronger sense of the main character to ask for more.

Rick Daley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, I would like to read more. Please email me the first 50 pages of your manuscript at your earliest convenience. Word 97-2003 (.doc) or 2007 format (.docx) are acceptable.

I usually respond to partials within 2 weeks. If you do not hear from me in that time frame, feel free to follow up.

Regards,

Daley Agent for a Day

RK said...

Dear Author,

Intrigued! Send me your first thirty pages.

Agent-For-The-Day

PS. I think this is one of the published ones...

Casey said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your time and consideration. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent GHOSTLAND and your career as a writer.

I was ready to request this until the third paragraph. I'm afraid you lost my interest there. I cannot pinpoint why or I would expand upon this. Great query, however.

Best wishes,

Casey

EJ Lange said...

Author,

It is very difficult for me to pass on this manuscript, as it sounds very promising. Unfortunately, as much as I like your plot, I don't get the sense that your writing is a good fit for me. I encourage you to query widely. I am certain you will find representation and look forward to reading your novel when it is published. Good Luck!

Agent Erin

Rick said...

Author-

Sorry, but I don't represent YA Fiction. (But, your premise does sound like it has promise.)

If you have not already, you may want to check out AgentQuery. It can help you find an Agent who best suits your needs.

http://www.agentquery.com/

Sincerely,
Rick O

hannah said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your work, but it's not right for me at this time.

Best,
hannah

K. Andrew Smith said...

Dear author,

Thank you for your submission, Ghostland. Unfortunately, it's not quite right for me. I wish you good fortune in your quest for an agent.

Sincerely,

K. Andrew Smith

Monika said...

Thank you for your submission, but I do not think this project is right us. This is a subjective business and other agencies will feel differently. We wish you every success with your project.

[It sounds too similiar to other books I have read.]

Bija Andrew Wright said...

Sorry, I have to pass on this one. Best of luck. [Perhaps a note for revision: when dealing with science fiction, the reader can't be sure whether Dax makes himself literally invisible or figuratively invisible. Make sure that's clear.]

Karen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. The premise sounds intriguing, which was what I thought when I saw the film Gattaca. I am afraid I will be unable to represent your novel, but I wish you luck in your search for a more suitable agent.

Karen

quixotic said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Though the writing is very good, I feel the material (as presented) is too similar to other stories currently on the market. This is not to say the story is bad or unoriginal, perhaps the query could be reworked to highlight the uniqueness of your plot.

At this point I cannot request anything further.

Good luck in your search for an agent.

Quixotic

Bane of Anubis said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for the submission. Could you please send the first 30 pages as a Word doc. Thanks,

Bane

(reasoning: interesting premise and many of the elements of a YA seller)

Cat said...

Dear Author,

although this sounds an interesting concept I refrain from representing it. I wish you all the luck.

Sincerely,
Cat

this is too much like "Logans Run" and "Gattaca" for my taste

Amy said...

Dear Author,

I found your query intriguing, but I am afraid that the main story concept sounds too similar to those already published, and will have to pass. I wish you the best of luck and hope you will keep me in mind for future projects.

Sincerely,
Amy

Christine Rose said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Please send the first 10 pages pasted in an email.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

Madison said...

Dear Author,

Thank you so much for submitting your work and considering me to represent it. While the story sounds quite interesting, I am afraid it does not fit my list at this point in time and I must regretfully pass. I know rejections can be hard to take, but please keep submitting and following your dream.

Best of luck in your agent hunt!

Sincerely,

Madison

Reason for rejection: Too similar to other works published.

The Writers Canvas said...

I like this query, but with the selection process narrowing down the number of queries I can request, I would have to pass on this for now. Great concept though, and I wish you luck!

Elaine

Superfast said...

Thank you so much for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't feel I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Good luck and keep writing!

Anonymous said...

Wowsa...I'm gonna guess that Nathan already knew what kind of response these queries were gonna get...
Without pointing any fingers, I'm just wondering if anybody got some sort of pleasure in knocking these inquiries down...perhaps in response to your own rejections? Huh? Maybe?
(mumbling to myself: "Dayum they is some harsh folks out there!")

kaseee said...

Sounds good. Send me a copy. I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Agent

Steve Axelrod said...

This one is not for me, but I have a feeling you may strike a chord elsewhere. Keep trying!

lesleylsmith said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter.
Your premise is interesting.
Please email me the first 3 chapters of your novel.
Thanks,
-Lesley

Kitti said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I am intrigued - would you please send me a Word document of the first fifty pages of GHOSTLAND?

Cheers,
Kitti

Harsh Critic said...

You obviously know your YA sci fi literature, and I am intrigued by the combination of a unique setting, forbidden romance, and exciting plot.

Please send me your manuscript.

Barb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.

All the best,
Barb

Scott said...

Dear Author,

I like you voice very much, and I think your story has promise, but it sounds a bit too familiar to me and I'm afraid the amount of projects I can choose are too limited for me to select it.

Thanks and keep writing,

Scott

dhole said...

Dear Author, thanks for your query. Unfortunately, it's not right for my list, best of luck, etc.

Very close call, though.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,
I received and read your query. I'm going to pass.

I like the freckles. I like the romance. I like the names.

Best to you,
Agent SCL

Eva Ulian said...

I'm afraid I am not drawn by this story even though initially it held promise; however, I do feel the White House and Washington DC was tagged on to give it importance and not as an integral part of the story.

Tryst888 said...

Dear Author,

Your query has caught my interest and I would be delighted if you would send me a sample of the first 50 pages of your novel.

Anonymous said...

I'm not playing agent, but I asked my daughter, a 13 year old who loved UNWIND and UGLIES and reads 2 books a week if she'd want to read this book, and she said, "Can you pre-order it for me?"

'nuff said.

--signed, a multi-published author

Vicky said...

Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately, this project is not right for us. Best of luck finding representation for your work.

All best.

Dawn G. said...

Dear Author,

Unfortunately, I am unable to offer you representation at this time. Thank you for submitting your work for consideration. Please keep me in mind for future projects.

Kindest Regards,

D. Agent

Lucy A muse ision said...

thanks.
sorry.
Lucy A muse ision

Craven said...

Thank you for your consideration, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck, Craven

Heather said...

Dear Author,

Please send your full manuscript to me immediately, as I have to read this now.

Yours in Desperation,
Heather

P.S. Um, I love this so much. ahahaha If the writing doesn't match the brilliance of the concept, I will be sad forever.

Dorine White said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I feel I am not the right agent for your work.

Bests, Agent for a day

Your story does seem very much like Scott Westerfield's UGLIES.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your recent query. Unfortunately we do not feel strongly enough about your work to pursue it further.

We wish you the best of luck in finding suitable representation.

Sincerely
The Fake Agency

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
SammyStewart said...

Form Rejection

Gwen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest. Unfortunately, this project is not a good fit for me at the present time.

Regards,

Gwen

***

(Side note: unfortunately, I feel as though I have seen a great number of stories just like this published lately. Therefore, I must pass.)

Olga said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for sending me your query for GHOSTLAND. I would like to read the first 30 pages of your manuscript. Please send them as a Microsoft word attachment in the reply to this e-mail. I look forward to reading your work.

Sincerely,

Agent Olga.

Josephine Damian said...

Kinda liked it - would request a partial

scj said...

Sorry, but this isn't right for me. While you have a great voice and strong writing, the story sounds too similar to Uglies and I don't think I'm the right agent for this. Another agent will probably feel different. I must pass, with regrets. Best of luck.

Nik said...

Your query sounds very interesting. I would enjoy seeing more, if you would send me the first 50 pages as an email attachment.

Comments: WOW. I don't read sci-fi, but this sounds so cool.

Cassandra said...

Dear Author,

I was most intrigued by your novel Ghostland and as such, I am pleased to offer you representation for it. Please send the completed manuscript in the form of a word document as soon as possible to my personal email [redacted] with the subject “Ghostland Request”

I look forward to receiving your manuscript and beginning our author/agent partnership.

Regards,
Cassandra

Cindy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sending your query. The premise of the story is intriguing. I would like to see the first 50 pages attached to an email.

Cindy

Agent KES said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I am not able to offer you representation at this time. Best of luck,

Agent KES

super agent nicole said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. I am interested in the manuscript. Please forward me the full.

Thank you,
Nicole

Jenn Johansson said...

Dear Author -

I am intrigued, please send me the full ms in a .doc attachment at your convenience.

JJ

Sasha said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the best agent to represent your manuscript.

Good luck and yours truly,
AftD

Jen C said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to the Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever. I regret that, at this time, your project is not quite what I’m looking for. I wish you the best of luck in your continuing search for representation.
Sincerely,
Jen C.

Kelly Guentner said...

Dear Author,

I am impressed by your premise and I would like to see the first thirty pages of GHOSTLAND.

Please forward these at your earliest convenience.

Thank you,
Kelly Guentner

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit.

I regret to inform you that at this time I would like to pass on your book.

I am actually really interested in this and can't wait to see it on a bookshelf: however I'm not taking on any new clients.

Best of luck in the future,

Regards,
Agent for a Day, Bookworm Megs

StrugglingToMakeIt said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Best,

Agent

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

While this project shows merit, I'm afraid it didn't fully resonate with me. I feel sure that another agent will feel differently, and wish you the best of luck.

-Agent Pro Tempore

b said...

Dear Author,
Please send me five sample chapters. Thank you for your submission.
Bridge
On a personal note, this was a bit disjointed, opening good, serenity faire not as concise and loses the tone for a bit, then a great wrap up, so I might work a bit on those few sentences, they started to lose me. Hope this helps,
Bridge

ikmar said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. I am intrigued. Please send me the first 3 chapters.

Sincerely,
Agent for the Day

Disgruntled Bear said...

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately I am going to have to pass at this time.
I wish you the best of luck with another agent.

Sincerely,
Agent

(If I had 6 or 7 picks, you would have received a partial request; you made my short list).

Mystery Robin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I am not the right agent for this book. Best of luck!

Robin

Laura said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but the premise is not a good fit for me.

Best of luck,

Agent Laura

Rebecca Knight said...

Dear "Ghostland",

Thank you for your query, and for thinking of my agency. I was very intrigued by your query and would love to see the full manuscript. Please reply and attach it as a .doc file. I should respond back within 4-6 weeks at the latest. Thank you for your patience. I look forward to reading GHOSTLAND.

Sincerely,

Rebecca Knight

PurpleClover said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for considering me for your work. However, at this time I will have to pass.

Regards,
PC

Reason: Seems intriguing but just not enough detail and the hook fell slightly (i said "slightly") short.

Tara Ryan said...

Dear Author,
Thank you so much for submitting your work to me. Unfortunately, Ghostland is not a good fit for me at this time. I wish you much luck in your writing endeavors.
Agent-for-a-day

Pap said...

This sounds interesting. Please send the first 50 pages to me by email, as a MS Word attachment. Also, would you let me know if are querying other agents?

Kristi said...

I'm intrigued and would love to read the first 50 pages of this manuscript. Please send them to my attention at the address listed. Thank you.

Sincerely,
Kristi

Endless Secrets said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query to me for consideration, as I am familiar with and rather enjoyed Unwind by Neil Shusterman, I am overjoyed to see something so similar yet so different.
I would be happy to see the first fifty pages along with a detailed synopsis of Ghostland.

-Lea

Jeanne Tomlin said...

This came close for me. Please try me again in the future.

Katy said...

This is an excellent query letter and an interesting premise. It sounds like a project that would interest me greatly. Please send me the complete manuscript at your earliest convenience.
Sincerely,
Katy

Cat Hellisen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.  Your proposal is interesting, but I have seen too many stories on a similar theme recently. I wish you the best of luck in finding representation elsewhere.

Best,
Cat.

Leslie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I don't think it is the type of book I could represent. Best of luck in your writing career.

Sincerely, Leslie

(This has been done many times already. Did Scooter Libby write this?)

KathyF said...

Dear Author of Query #27,

Thank you for your query, but GHOSTLAND isn't right for me.

KathyF

Thomas said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not appropriate for my current needs. I wish you luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,
Tally

Other Lisa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I found some of the elements intriguing but ultimately feel that it's not for me. Please keep in mind that this is a very subjective business, and other agencies may have a different view.

Best of luck in your search for representation!

Sincerely,

Agent X

(this is one I would have requested if I had an extra slot)

Eden said...

Thanks for the opportunity but I'm afraid I'll have to pass on representing this piece.

Best of luck with your writing.

~Eden

Merry Monteleone said...

Dear Author,

Please send the full manuscript via email.

Merry

Author,

This really does sound like a great read - on the query though, the line about the only thing worse than a defect allowed to live is a defect allowed to love - cheesey... sorry, I'd still request it, but I'd get rid of that line in the query.

CJK said...

Thank you for your query. I am not interested in further materials on this work. Good luck with your search for representation. CJK

Melinda said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the query. Please send the first 50 pages attached in a Word doc.

Sincerely,

Melinda

KC in SF said...

Thank you for the query, I'd like to read more. Please send me your full manuscript.

KC in SF

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for thinking of me, your novel sounds interesting but it's not for me at this time.

Good luck with your search for an agent.

Kind regards,

amyandnick

(PS - Rejecting purely on my own personal taste. I would watch this movie, but not read the book. Good luck, I'm sure many other agents will feel differently.)

Kavanaugh and Byrne's LA said...

Dear Author

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to consider your work at Kavanaugh and Byrne’s Literary Agency.
We were impressed by the concept.
We would appreciate it if you would send us additional details and the first three chapters.
Our query e-mail address can be found at the top of this communication.
We look forward to hearing from you.

Flower Kavanaugh

Renee Collins said...

Dear Ghostland,

Thank you for your query. I was on the fence with this one, because the premise intrigued me. Unfortunately, I don't think the story is quite right for me.

Best of luck,

Renee

bookshop said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent submission. Please send the full manuscript as an attachment, either in .doc or .rtf form. Alternately you may upload and share a Google document with my email, bookshopliterary@gmail.com.

I am intrigued by the universe of your novel and looking forward to reading more. Expect a response within 2-3 weeks.

Regards,

Bookshop

_______

(Hi! I think you have a great voice here! There's a lot that I think your query could have done a bit more neatly but overall you really pulled me in and showed you can write with tight phrasing and wit. Good job!)

Adam Heine said...

Yes, I want this. Send me the full manuscript.

MK said...

Dear Author,

While your query is interesting, I'm afraid it's not the right fit for us at this time.

Good luck with your search.

Best,
Agent for a Day

Sage said...

Dear Ghostland,

The novel sounds promising, but I don't feel it will stand out enough in the market. Another agent may feel differently.

Thanks,
Sage

PPP said...

Dear Author,

This sounds a bit too familiar. And what's so bad about freckles?

No really, I don't understand why this kind of perfection is so important to this society, so it's hard for me to buy the premise.

The love element is really tempting, though... No, sorry, I must pass with reluctance.

Signed,
PPP

Nay said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.
I found aspects of your story very intriguing, however I am not convinced that it is the right project for me.
I’m sure your project will find a home somewhere.
Best of luck to you

-Nay

Jeni said...

Dear Ghostland,
Thank you for your query regarding Ghostland. I’d be delighted to read more. Please e-mail the first three chapters of your book and a synopsis to me as Word attachments. I will do my best to respond to your work within one month.
I look forward to reading your work!
Sincerely,
Jeni

Annie said...

I'd pass.

Reason: although the story sounds interesting, I'm not sure what the main conflict is.

Julie Weathers said...

Dear Author,

There were interesting points in your submission, but I’m afraid I can’t offer representation. This is a subjective business, and what appeals to one reader doesn’t always appeal to another. With my current workload, I have to be very discriminating and take on only projects I am passionate about.

I urge you to continue your quest to be published and wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

J.M. Agent

(I know the quest for perfection is a popular theme, but freckles?

Sol said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I found a compelling voice in the overview you provided and would like to read more of your writing. Please paste the first 30 pages of your manuscript in reply to this email message.

Kind regards,

Sol Nima

Selene said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for contacting Selene Literary.

While your novel sounds intriguing, I'm afraid that I ultimately have to pass on reading more. Best of luck in your future agent search--if your MS is as strong as the query, I am sure you will find an agent that is as enthusiastic about this project as it deserves.

Best regards,
Selene Da Agent
Selene Literary

Jessumby said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. Please send the first three chapters by email.

Regards, Jessumby

theflightytemptress said...

Dear Ghostland,

Send me your full. Right now. Attach as a word document. Include a synopsis.

Thanks,

Kat Brauer

Chris Eldin said...

LOVE this one!
I think this is my last available slot, but I'll have to check.

Send me a full!

Brigita said...

Thank you for sending me your query. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.

The Classic Carol said...

Dear Author of GHOSTLAND:
Your work sounds intriguing, but I regret that I must decline the offer to review it. I encourage you to keep writing and wish you every success.

thin said...

Dear Author,
While it seems like an interesting premise for a book, I'm sorry to say that I cannot take on the project. Thank you for considering me, and best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
Thin

RW said...

Dear Author:

Thank you very much for your query. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to consider your work for representation. As you know, it’s a competitive market these days, and I don’t believe I have the right relationships to sell this project successfully. I do wish you luck in finding an agent and thank you for considering me.

Yours truly,

RW

Polenth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. As your story didn't resonate with me, I'm going to have to pass.

--
Polenth

wickerman said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. While Ghostland sounds promising, I am afraid I am not enough of a fan of post-apoc Sci-fi to give this the attention it needs. I must decline to represent this.


Best of Luck

The Wickerman

Soup Taster, Bransford Lit Kitchen Staff

Poppy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. GHOSTLAND sounds very good, and exactly the type of book I could sell. Please could you senf me the first three chapters as an attatchment.

Agent

Dara said...

Dear Ghostland,

I find this story incredibly intriguing. Please send me the first three chapters of your manuscript.

Thank You,

Dara

kdrausin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I was intrigued by your query however at this time my client list is full.

I wish you luck on your writing journey.

Sincerely,

KDrausin (I already chose 3 YA's)

Deniz Bevan said...

Thank you for your query, but I wouldn't be the right agent in this instance.
I wish you luck finding the right home for your work.
Sincerely,
Ms Agent Agency

Ceadrick said...

Dear Author,

Please send me a copy of your manuscript.

Thank you,
Ceadrick

Dale - Las Vegas said...

Thank you for your submission but it doesn't seem right for me at this time.

Good luck in the future.

Problem is that it sounds like something already done many times and doesn't show an interesting new twist)

Soratian said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query but I'm afraid I'll be passing on this one.

While your query was well-crafted, it does seem to mine an area already fascinatingly explored by books like the Uglies series and movies like Gattaca. I suggest that you could reconsider what you can do to make your story stand out as distinctly different.

When you've done that, I'll be happy to read your query again.

Good luck!
Soratian

Jabez said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not believe I am the best agent to represent your manuscript. Best of luck in your quest for publication.

Patti K. said...

Thank you for your submission but it is not right for me at this time. Good luck in your quest for the perfect agent.

Patti K.

JuJu said...

Dear Author,

Though this story sounds very nice, and I really do want to query it, I feel I have to accept queries I am 100% happy with. And unfortunately I am only about 90% happy with the premise; it sounds a little too much like Uglies. Sorry. This business is subjective and I'm sure you'll find an agent who will love this story.

Until then,
JuJu

(Nice and personalized, because I liked it =])

Sarah Laurenson said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for considering me for your novel. Though it is not right for me at this time, please try me again int he future.

Sarah


It's close. I like the sound of it. I don't know the two novels used for comparison so that gives me nothing to go on. Her name threw me off as I didn't recognize it as a person's name the first time it's used. It's really close.

Sherry Ficklin said...

Dear Author,
I'm interested in your story. Please send me the full manuscript at this time.
Sincerely,
Agent Faux

Laurie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I have decided to decline representing you for this manuscript.

I think you have a very compelling story line and you made it to the second round in my consideration, and the only reason I am declining is the mandatory limit of only accepting five manuscripts.

Best of luck to you! I'm sure you will find representation soon.

Laurie

educlaytion said...

I think you've crafted a strong letter, but the story pitch is not my bag.

Kats said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. While the premise is very interesting, I will have to pass on Ghostland as I am already representing a similar novel. Good luck!

Best,
Agent of the Day, Kats

* I would've requested this if I could request more than 5, it's a really strong query letter with a good premise

lucy in the sky said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not believe I am the best person to represent your work.

Tree said...

Dear Author:
I want to thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. Unfortunately, I did not connect well enough with your project to pursue it further. As I'm sure you know, agenting is a very subjective business. Although your project didn't fit with my particular list, another agent may respond very differently.
Please accept my best wishes for success in your writing career and finding the perfect advocate for your work.
Sincerely,
Tree

Belinda Frisch said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. However, I am not able to offer representation at this time.

Best Wishes,
Belinda

Heather Harper said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. After careful consideration, I regret that I’m unable to request your manuscript at this time.

Best,
Agent for a day

Janeal C. Falor said...

Thank you for your query. Please e-mail me the manuscript.

Fairduncan said...

Dear Author

Thanks for querying us. I regret I have to pass on this one, but wish you every success in finding representation.

Cordially Yours,
Agent

Amethyst Greye Alexander said...

Dear Author,

After reading your query I've decided to take a chance on GHOSTLAND and would like you to send the first fifty pages (give or take a paragraph) via email (pasted, not attatched) at your earliest convenience.

On a personal note, I very much enjoyed your first line. It carried much weight in decided whether or not to request a sample.

Thank you for considering me.

Amethyst Adams

Anonymous said...

Sounds interesting. Please send the first 50 pages. Thank you,
Agent DC

Wandering Spirit said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Although your story shows potential it is unfortunately of a genre that I am not best suited to represent. However, all writing is of value and I wish you the best in your endeavours.

Best wishes

Agent for a Day

Venus Vaughn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, your project doesn't meet my needs at this time.
Best of luck to you in your writing career.

~Venus Vaughn

Countrymouse said...

Please send full ASAP. Do not pause, eat, sleep, or drink. . I eagerly await this.

Sarah D said...

Interesting, I would take a closer look at this one.

Maryann Miller said...

So sorry, but this is not right for us. While you exhibit excellent writing skills, we are not an agency well-grounded in this genre. Good luck placing it elsewhere.

Getabo Publishing said...

I think this is a very well done query. Blog mention, book genre, title, word count comes first and something to compare with. Nice and easy to read, follow and get a quick overview.

The plot section is maybe a little long, but it gives me a great idea of the story - but I have to say I'm only moderately hooked because I'm not convinced of how the story works in the middle and end.

You did make my shortlist, but I can only pick five, so, good luck with your novel whether you are published or not (yet).

***

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately we do not think that your book would be a likely prospect for our list.

We regret that the large number of submissions we receive makes it impossible to offer individual comment. We believe it is more important to read and evaluate every query / submission we receive with due consideration.

We appreciate you thinking of Getabo Creative Publishing, and wish you the best of luck with your manuscript and future writing endeavors.

Sincerely.
The Editors
Getabo Creative Publishing

Horserider said...

Dear Author,

Please send me the first 100 pages as an attachment in a Word doc. I like the premise and would really like to read on.

Horserider Literary Agency

Brenda said...

Dear Author,
I am interested in your novel, Ghostland. Please send me the first three chapters.
Thank you,
B

Savannah Pens said...

Dear Author: Your premise sounds intriguing. Please submit a full manuscript via e-mail with a word compatible attachment.

Gregory said...

Dear Author;

Form rejection.

Cordially,

Agent Gregory

[Here's another one that made my finals list. Drop the first paragraph, include the length and genre at the end. I know, somebody complained about that. But I think it's better to get into the story, give me the admin stuff in the last paragraph. Issues here include credulity. I always have problems with cities that elude detection for centuries. Especially if they're linked to the D.C. Metro, abandoned or otherwise. Just me. And vague statements about threats that "echo through the White House" make no sense, unless you give me a few words that tell me why. (Serenity is the President's daughter? That wouldn't make much sense here either, and she'd have to elude Secret Service for them even to meet.) So, too many things just stretch it too far for me.]

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Interesting premise, and I like your writing. Please send the first three chapters.

- AI

Elizabeth said...

Dear Author,

There is much to like about this premise, unfortunately, it sounds too much like other works, so I must regretfully pass.

Best Regards,

Agent Elizabeth

KareFree Kennels said...

Ghostland

Sorry, not for me...with nice personal note.

Best of luck,
Sheryl

Barbara Webb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sharing your work, but I'm going to pass.

Best of luck!

Barbara

Lucy said...

Dear Ghostland: I'd like very much to read the first fifty pages of your novel. Please send them to me along with a copy of your query letter and a SASE with sufficient postage if you'd like your work returned. Regards, L.C.

Moth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission to Moth's Literary Agency. Please email me your first 50, and include a short synopsis as well.

Thank you,
Moth

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Raven56 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying "Agent for a Day" Agency. Unfortunately, we do not feel this story is a good fit for our list at this time. We encourage you to continue querying other agents.

Best of luck,

Raven56

Bekkoni said...

Dear Author,

Your novel sounds highly intruiging. Please post the first twenty pages as soon as possible.

Sincerely,
Bekkoni

Maricar said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Though the premise of your book is interesting, I am confused as to why Serenity Faire’s family would want to find a place that they think is a threat. I will have to pass on this. I wish you the best of luck for your writing future.

Lipstick Lizzie said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for the chance to look at your work. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m the right agent for this project.

Best of luck,
Lizzie

Audrey E said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for query. I'm afraid that this piece isn't right for me and I will have to pass at this time.

Yours,
Audrey

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank your for your interest in our agency. However, I'm afraid this isn't quite right for us. Do keep is in mind for any future projects of yours. Best of luck in your writing endeavors.

Sincerely,

Agent.

(This query confused me.)

tilt190 said...

Dear Author,

I was intrigued by your query. Please send your first 50 pages, along with a synopsis, to me@agentforaday.com

Sincerely,
Linda

Taymalin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this story is not for me at this time. Best of luck with your future endeavors,

Taymalin

Jill said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for thinking of me as a possible representative for your novel.

Your query held my interest, and the premise of your novel appeals to me a great deal.

Please feel free to send the first three chapters of your novel via e-mail for my review.

Agent Du Jour

sKim said...

Thank you for sending this original proposal. We regret that it doesn't suit our needs at the moment. Best of luck to you.

Newbee said...

Form Rejection...

TFree said...

Thank you for considering me. Unfortunately, this piece isn’t right for me at this time. Good luck with this and future endeavors.

TF

Lorin said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Please email me a copy of your ms.

Thank you,
Lorin

Brian Crawford said...

Tightly written query, good premise. Please send me a full.

Krista said...

This is another almost for me. Sounds interesting, but just not interesting enough.

Sorry, rejection.

Chuck H. said...

Dear Author,

Please send three chapters and a synopsis.

Sincerely,

Chuck

(Not necessarily something I would read but something that might sell.)

00 Pisces said...

Dear Author,

I like it! Was it inspired in part by Fallout 3? Send me the first three chapters. Long live freckled kids!

00Pisces

Jeannie said...

Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately your project is not what we’re looking to represent at this time. Best of luck.
- Jeannie

RainSplats said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, it isn't a good fit for me. Best of luck,

Rain

Marilyn Peake said...

Dear Author of GHOSTLAND:

Thank you for your query. I regret to to inform you that I’m no longer accepting queries, as I recently requested manuscripts for five books and my schedule is full. Your book came very close to making my final cut. It sounds fascinating, and your query was impressive. I strongly recommend that you continue to query agents, as another agent might be very interested in reading your manuscript and offering you a contract. I wish you all the best in your writing career.

Sincerely,
Writerly Angst Literary Agent

ros said...

I'll bite. Send me three chapters, please.

austere said...

Dear Author #27

I’m afraid I have to regret.

Keep writing, and good luck with the words.

Regards,


Liked it but I don't have requests left.

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