Nathan Bransford, Author


Monday, April 13, 2009

Be An Agent for a Day: Query #26

This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here

Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!



Dear Agent for a Day:

The pampas of western Peru are beautiful in their desolation. Averaging twenty minutes of rain per year, even the tiniest changes to the desert can last thousands of years. The plains of Nazca illustrate this perfectly; lines carved in the rocky soil have survived nearly two millennia. The glyphs of Nazca are one of the great archaeological mysteries of our time, though recently, a discovery has sparked controversy. When an American television crew picks up the story, they find a deep scientific mystery – and political intrigue that turns very deadly.

At 61,000 words, Glyphs is a tight speculative thriller. We look over the shoulder of an unusual cosmologist working at JPL as his story weaves into the plans of a successful television producer – and how both cross paths with a shadowy former Air Force operative. The characters give us a behind-the-scenes glimpse of television production even as threats swirl just off-camera to crank the tension.

The plot has a foundation of real science, shared through dialogue that make the concepts approachably visual. The crew's discoveries in the desert pampas draw skeptical characters deeper and deeper into speculation – though the consequences are anything but abstract. A sprinkling of dark comic relief keeps it bearable until the action breaks through, bringing the story full-circle to a commercial, mainstream market.

Glyphs is my debut novel and the first story in a planned series. The style is visceral and immersive, lending itself to a fast first-read – but with enough depth that it could hook genre fans. The light word count is admittedly risky, but the strategy is to entice skittish publishers with a lower cost project, then push the envelope with the sequels. The second installment is in rough draft and the third has a deeply developed outline, with further possibilities depending on market reception.

Think of Glyphs as a bit of modern mythology told through a very realistic voice. I'm excited to share this story and perhaps, with your guidance, we could bring that excitement to a wide audience. If the concept sparks your interest, I’d be delighted to send a synopsis, sample or full manuscript.

Author

STATS: 4% request rate






325 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 325   Newer›   Newest»
Agent X said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to query. I'm afraid this isn't the right piece for me. I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Agent X

Laurie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. While your premise sounds intriguing, I'm going to have to pass at this time.

All the best,
Laurie

Derek said...

Dear Author,

I'm sorry, but I've already used up 4 out of my allotted 5 manuscript request rights, so I'm having to be more selective. I'll pass on this one.

Agent For A Day.

Anonymous said...

I think this query would be a lot tighter and more interesting if the introduction at the top were cut out. Just get straight to the story. That said, the story sounds interesting but I just don't want to read something like this I'm afraid. So;


Dear author,
Your manuscript is just not right for me. Thanks for querying.

sincerely,
moniza

Keri Ford said...

Thank you for submitting, but unfortunately I didn’t connect with this story idea.

Good Luck,
Keri

<><><><><><><><>
This wasn't to my taste of reading. I'm not sure what speculative thriller is, but by the 'thriller', I'm thinking something that puts the reader on the edge of their seat. If that's so, try to bring that edginess to your query blurb.

brian_ohio said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best,

Brian

TheDivaAgent said...

Dear Author,

We at The Divalicious Agency understand and appreciate the hard work required to craft a novel. Unfortunately, we are not accepting submissions at this time.

We wish you the best in finding representation for your novel.

Yours,

The Diva Agent

Lisa R said...

Dear Glyphs:

Thank you for your query. While your novel sounds very intriguing it is not right for me. I'm sure another agent will feel differently. Best of luck,

Lisa R

The first paragraph of this query rocked. But then it lost me when it kept talking about what the novel was like--I would have liked to hear more about the characters and plot. It sounds interesting but I don't think the second part of this query sells the novel as well it probably could. Clearly this writer is talented, I think he or she could revise the second part of this query and really knock em dead.

ai-hua said...

Nice, but not for me. Rejection with personal note.

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your book isn't right for me. Agenting is subjective, though, and I wish you the best of luck!

Sincerely,
Megan

Laura said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this genre is not a good fit for me.

Best of Luck,

Agent Laura

Moth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query to Moth's Literary Agency. While your story sounds interesting, I'm afraid it's just not right for us. Best of luck in your writing career.

Sincerely,
Moth

suki said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me. I wish you luck in your search for representation.

Regards,
Suki


Reasoning: There seemed to be two competing books here - travel and suspense. And while the query had some nice language, overall it was ineffective because it didn't clearly and succinctly introduce a character and his primary problem/desire story arc. And the query didn't conform to the general expectations for queries, leading me to believe the author is inexperienced and did not research queries thoroughly enough. Therefore, I would suspect the manuscript is in need of serious revision.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your project isn't right for me.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

[There's an interesting premise in here, but I'm not connecting with the material the way I might. There's too much narrative distance - it reads at first like a nonfiction work, and by the time we get to the actual characters it's already set up that way in my mind. Also, the strategy outlined in the second-to-last paragraph won't work. It's actually very difficult to market a book with such a light word count - it gets lost on the shelves - and the approach seems too tentative, like the author isn't sure anyone's going to actually like the book. I'd rather see the best possible book the author can write straight out of the gate, rather than the "nibbling around the edges" approach.]

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but I'm afraid I must pass. Please feel free to resubmit once you re-edit. I enjoyed the premise and your writing, and feel you shouldn't wait 6 months to re-query me. However, this offer is for you alone, please do not spread it over the internet or I may not get to your
re-query in a timely manner.

Agent XXX

* First paragraph was stunning.
There's something there, and I hope with an edit the jewel can be brought forth.

David said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your project doesn't sound right for me.

Sincerely,
David

Getabo Publishing said...

I like the idea of an unusual setting. The subject 'The Glphs' appeals.

Suggestions: try cutting your query word count in half. Your query states the novel is 'tight' but your query is not demonstrative of that. Start with para 2 and include the setting in one line. Give more weight to detail of plot and less to general description. I'd like to see more and be told less. Unfortunately I believe as you suggest yourself, it would be too short for most publishers in thriller genre. I love the basic concepts though - why not make it a Da Vinci Code length? Sounds like it could appeal to the same market - and that would be huge!

***
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately we do not think that your book would be a likely prospect for our list.

We regret that the large number of submissions we receive makes it impossible to offer individual comment. We believe it is more important to read and evaluate every query / submission we receive with due consideration.

We appreciate you thinking of Getabo Creative Publishing, and wish you the best of luck with your manuscript and future writing endeavors.

Sincerely.
The Editors
Getabo Creative Publishing

Caroline said...

Dear Author:

Please send the first three chapters of your manuscript as soon as possible. Your voice and premise interest me.

Sincerely,

Agent Caroline

Sophie W. said...

Dear Author of Glyphs,

Although your work shows merit, I cannot request further materials at this time. Keep in mind that this business is terribly subjective, and you'll probably get the chance to thumb your nose at me in the future.

Love,

Sophie

Onovello said...

Dear Author:

Many thanks for your query. While I am not sufficiently intrigued to request the project, I'm sure another agent will be, and encourage you to keep looking.

With best wishes for your success in finding representation for this work,

Onovello

Renee Collins said...

Dear Glyphs,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, it's not quite right for me.

Best of luck,

Renee

sraasch said...

Dear Author,

Not for me. But I'm picky, so keep trying!

Thanks!
Sara

thelifter said...

Dear Author:

This a query, so you have to tell me a little bit about what actually happens in your book. Actually mentioning one of these mysterious discoveries might be a good start. If you loose the needless bits about your style and approach, you'll have room for that info.

Oh, and intentionally light word count, my fanny; not buying that for a second. Congratulations, you've written a novella. Go write a novel and try again.

Regards,

Mr. Snark

beth said...

Dear Author,

Although I appreciate your submission, I'm sorry but it just isn't for me. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.

Sincerely,
beth

(Reasoning: I don't really have a sense of who the main character is, nor what the central conflict is. Too many words without enough plot/character.)

reader said...

I'm afraid I'll have to pass as this isn't right for my list.
Best of luck.

Chanelley said...

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not what I’m looking for at this time. However, do continue to query widely. After all, it does only take one agent to say yes!
All the best,
Agent for the day

K. Andrew Smith said...

Dear author,

Thank you for your submission, Glyphs. Unfortunately, it's not quite right for me. I wish you good fortune in your quest for an agent.

Sincerely,

K. Andrew Smith

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I’ll pass on this one. Good luck in your endeavors.

Regards,

Lindsey S.

AgentMan said...

Sorry, your query failed to hook me. Best of luck elsewhere.

AgentMan

selestial-owg said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. While the premise is intriguing, I need to pass. Good luck with your search.

Selestial


This is too short for the genre (most adults aren't overly interested in "skinny" books). The blurb needs more info and less "selling" - let the pages speak for themselves since that's what they will have to do for a reader. I would also want to know what your credentials are with regard to the science. It might make for a selling point.

jimnduncan said...

Thank you for querying me, but I'm afraid I must pass on your story. Best of luck in your continued writing endeavors.

(reason: not enough of the story in the query to grab my interest, and too much telling me about how the story is written. Also, word count is very low.)

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. While your novel sounds promising, it is not what I am looking for at this time. I wish you the best of luck,

Meg Spencer

romoak said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this is not right for me.

-- You mention tight and thriller, but your query is packed with slow information. I didn't get the major point of the novel.

Ulysses said...

Thanks for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I don't feel I am the agent to represent this work.

David de Beer said...

Dear Author,

thanks for your interest but I am going to pass on this one.

Sincerely,
David de Beer

Brigita said...

Thank you for sending me your query. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.

John said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for giving me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, it's not something I think I can sell at present. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.

jjdebenedictis said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent query; discovering new talent is one of the joys of being a literary agent, and I am always honoured to have the opportunity to read a writer's best work.

Please accept my regrets, however, as I won't be offering to represent this novel. I apologize for informing you of this using a form letter, but the volume of mail I receive makes it impractical for me to give personalized rejections.

I wish you the very best luck in finding a literary agent whose enthusiasm will bring your book the success it deserves!

Sincerely,
J. J. DeGoblin

~~~~~~~
For your reference, here are the most common reasons why I decline certain queries. Please note that if your submission was very good, my reasons for rejecting it were probably much subtler than the items on this list and cannot be put quickly into words. Again, I apologize for this form letter, but I cannot invest the time to critique those submissions I have chosen to not represent. Thank you for your understanding.


Most common reasons why I decline manuscripts:

[ ]--The manuscript is in a genre which I don't represent

[ ]--The query appears to be a non-personalized mass mailing

[ ]--The query/manuscript's presentation was worryingly unpolished
(E.g. Many spelling, grammar, punctuation or homophone errors; a non-standard format)

[ ]--The writing doesn't seem polished enough
(This improves with practice; your next novel may be excellent)

[ X ]--The plot doesn't sound compelling enough
(Again, this improves with practice and self-education)

[ ]--The plot sounds too similar to something book-buyers have already seen


Comments, if any:
This might be a great book, but your query is very vague about what the plot actually is.

sirayn said...

Dear X,

Thank you for your query. I’m afraid I have to pass, but I wish you luck in finding an agent who’s passionate about your work.

Today’s Agent

(Reasoning: query very distant. You tell us what the *audience* will do and feel about the story, and you tell us *about* the story, such as the scientific element. Maintain a tight focus on the *protagonist*. Protagonist + goal + conflict = plot. If you think the wordcount is light, the agent is likely to agree. Consider workshopping this query.)

Libby Martin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I cannot represent GLYPHS at this time, as I am currently not interested in suspense novels at the time. (Actually, I'm rarely interested in suspense novels).

Best wishes for future projects!

Love,
Libby

Colorado Writer said...

Dear Author,
Sorry, not the right fit for my list.
Best,
Agent Name

:)Ash said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your interest in my agency. Unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for you at this time. Best wishes as you continue your search.

Sincerely yours,

:)Ash

Author: I think you need to focus more on the actual elements of the story, especially since you've presented the novel as the first in a potential series.

Kitti said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this doesn't fit with what I am looking for.

Best of luck,
Kitti

DeadlyAccurate said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your query and I apologize for this form reply.

I regret I have to pass on many interesting projects due to time constraints. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.


Sincerely,

DeadlyAccurate

Jenn Johansson said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best of luck!
JR

Cindy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, however your project does not fit my needs at this time.

All the best,
Cindy

Melissa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I don't think I'm the right agent for your book. I wish you best of luck in placing it elsewhere.

Melissa


Thoughts: This is very tight, very professional writing. I almost requested it, but I didn't feel I had a strong enough sense of the plot.

Nixy Valentine said...

Dear Author:

I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm the right agent for this project.

Notes: This would make my top 10, but sadly not my top 5, therefore I couldn't make a request.

Your concept is interesting, but I think the wordcount is perhaps too short? Also, I think you have too many sentences in your first paragraph before you get to the point. Perhaps condensing would be useful.

I was really sorry not to be able to put this in my request list.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. While your writing is strong, I'm afraid this project is not right for me.

Agent99

Comment: Not enough to go on--what is the discovery? Who are the main characters? What is the main conflict?

KC in SF said...

Thank you for your query. While I was impressed by your query, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your query.

best wishes,

KC in SF

Rick Daley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Authors Write Literary Agency. I have reviewed your query for Glyphs, and I’m sorry to say that I do not feel that I am the best agent to represent your work at this time.

Please keep in mind that there are many talented agents out there, and opinions are subjective based on individual preferences, workload, and market climate.

Don’t be afraid to research other agents and query those that you feel are best suited to represent your work. Best of luck!

Regards,

Daley Agent for a Day

Bane of Anubis said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission, but it isn't right for me. Best of luck,

Bane

(reasoning: I'd like more details in conjunction with a more pared-down query - I want more hook and cook, I guess - the background is good, but I'd rather see it elsewhere than in the query)

Casey said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your time and consideration. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent GLYPHS and your career as a writer.

Best wishes,

Casey

gapyeargirl123 said...

Dear Author,

I'm afraid while the premise is interesting, I wasn't grabbed by the query. There seemed to be too much unnecessary information.

~Agent A

Scott said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for considering me for your project, but I'm afraid I have to pass. I might advise punching up your query a bit to highlight the story and main character rather than explaining what it's "like" and spending a lot of time describing your setting.

Good luck,

Scott

Josephine Damian said...

form rejection

Anonymous said...

Sorry. You lost me at:

real science, shared through dialogue that make the concepts approachably visual

Also, the phrase "the consequences are anything but abstract" made me think this would be boring scientific stuff. This wans't helped by the addition of, "A sprinkling of dark comic relief keeps it bearable," making me think it's all quite unbearable without the comedy.

Up until that paragraph, however, I was hooked.

Rick said...

Author-

Sorry, but while I do represent suspense/thrillers, and might enjoy reading this work published one day, I'm going to pass. I will say that it sounds interesting, it's just not for me.

If you have not already, you may want to check out AgentQuery. It can help you find an Agent who best suits your needs.

http://www.agentquery.com/

Sincerely,
Rick O

hannah said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your work, but it's not right for me at this time.

Best,
hannah

PPP said...

Dear Author,

As much as I love bearable stories, and as cool as the intrigue sounds, I will have to pass. I do like the whole scientific mystery, but since I have limited room on my list, and since I'm not convinced from your query that the events of the novel will be captivating, I will pass.

Signed,
PPP

Anonymous said...

Some advice:

Glyphs is my debut novel and the first story in a planned series. The style is visceral and immersive [meaningless use of vocab], lending itself to a fast first-read – but with enough depth that it could hook genre fans. The light word count is admittedly risky [why admit this?], but the strategy [probably don't need to tell agents a strategy. That's why they're agents] is to entice skittish publishers with a lower cost project, then push the envelope with the sequels [wouldn't mention sequels. Getting one book publishing is risky and hard enough]. The second installment is in rough draft and the third has a deeply developed outline, with further possibilities depending on market reception.

Think of Glyphs [too casual for my taste] as a bit of modern mythology told through a very realistic voice. I'm excited to share this story and perhaps, with your guidance, we could bring that excitement to a wide audience. If the concept sparks your interest, I’d be delighted to send a synopsis, sample or full manuscript.

Craven said...

Thank you for your consideration, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck, Craven

quixotic said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, however, I do not feel excited enough about, GLYPHS to request anything further.

Good luck in your search for an agent.

Quixotic

Monika said...

Thank you for your submission, but I do not think this project is right us. This is a subjective business and other agencies will feel differently. We wish you every success with your project.

[I feel the query needs more detail. The writing is good, but I don't know the writer's take on the mystery or how the book will develop.

Interestingly, I saw a show on these glyphs on the history channel last night. Some believe that the gylphs are part of an inter-galactic airport.

Flesh out the query and you might have a winner here.]

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me at this time.

Sincerely,
Amy

Bija Andrew Wright said...

Thanks for your submission, but I'm afraid it's not right for me. Best of luck.

scj said...

Sorry, but this isn't right for me. I don't get a full sense of the plot or have any idea who the characters are. Best of luck.

Karen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. While you provide a lot of valuable information, I don't think I got enough of an idea of the plot of THIS book.

Best of luck to you.

Karen

Cat said...

Dear Author,

thank you for submitting but it's not right for me.

Sincerely,
Cat

form rejection because I get no idea about the story. The background information is absolutely fascinating and I think this could be a great story but the author only states facts in the query and hints at plot. There is no main character, no goal, no obstacles other than the hinted at unspecific threats. Also, I think it's unwise to tell the agent what strategy you have for the second and third book of your series if the first one isn't even sold. It is ok to mention that a book has potential for a series but don't go into details. That can come if the agent is interested in representation.

Christine Rose said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

Lois Lavrisa said...

Dear Author,

While I appreciate your consideration of our agency, I will have to pass on your project.
I am sorry to say I did not have the passionate response to it that I would need to request more or offer you representation. Obviously you want an agent who will stand enthusiastically behind your work.

Additionally, given today’s publishing climate I do not believe I would be able to get you the attention from a publisher that your book deserves.

Publishing is very subjective, though, and another agent may well feel differently.

I do wish you success in finding representation and, once again, thank you for the opportunity to consider your work.

Sincerely,

Lois Lavrisa
Agent for a day

Matilda McCloud said...

Thanks for your query. I'm afraid, I'll have to pass on this one.

Keep writing!

With my very best regards,

Matilda McCloud

Madison said...

Dear Author,

Thank you so much for submitting your work and considering me to represent it. While the story sounds quite interesting, I am afraid it does not fit my list at this point in time and I must regretfully pass. I know rejections can be hard to take, but please keep submitting and following your dream.

Best of luck in your agent hunt!

Sincerely,

Madison

Reason for rejection: Series don't always fly so a book needs to be able to stand on its own. The author does not make this fact clear. I also do not get a clear pitch of what this story is about.

The Writers Canvas said...

Thanks for your query, but it's not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your writing endeavors!

Elaine

Ramen with cheese said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for allowing RJM Agency to consider your work, but I’m afraid it’s not a good fit for our list. We wish you every bit of luck in your search for representation.

RJM

kaseee said...

Dear Author,

Your project is not without merit, but it isn't right for us at this time. Keep in mind this is a subjective business and another agent may feel differently.

Best of luck,

Agent

Anonymous said...

Dear Author

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to consider your novel, Glyphs.

The premise sounds intriguing and we would love to see a synopsis and the first fifty pages of this manuscript. Please ensure that your submission is clearly marked "Requested Material - Glyphs".

Sincerely
The Fake Agency

Steve Axelrod said...

I'm passing with somre regret because although your idea sounds intriguing, your query is not specific enough about the actual story to convince me. You need to tell less and show more in this introduction to your tale: what happens, and what the consequences are. A revised query might garner a much more positive response. Good luck with it, and feel free to query again.

lesleylsmith said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter.
Unfortunately, your novel is not a good fit for me.
Good luck!
-Lesley
p.s. Aspects of this letter were intriguing, but after reading it, I was unsure what the novel is about. Consider shortening/tightening this letter.

Tamara said...

Dear Glyphs Author,

Thank you for your query. I wish you the best of luck finding a home for this project, but after consideration, I have to say it's not for me.

Best wishes,
Agent for a Day
(Tamara)

DCS said...

The low word count is driving me away. The sequels aren't written and you can't use them to sell this book. Sorry.

Jeni said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I sincerely appreciate the opportunity to review your proposal, and found the premise for your manuscript intriguing. However, I’m afraid that the manuscript does not meet my needs at this time. Please do continue to send your work to other agents, as someone else may feel differently.
Best of luck in your publishing endeavors,
Jeni

PurpleClover said...

Dear author:

Thank you for your query. At this time I can not offer representation.


REgards,
PC

Reason: I have no idea what the story is really about.

Kristi said...

Thank you for your query. I feel this isn't quite right for me but I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,
Kristi

Barb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.

All the best,
Barb

kdrausin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for requesting my representation. I applaud your determination and effort in completing your novel. Your story is not right for me at this time; however I encourage you to keep writing and pursuing publication.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

Sincerely,

KDrausin (I kept your query until the end of my day..Eastern time-I really like it, but you know the rules.

dhole said...

Dear Author, thanks for your query. Unfortunately, it's not right for my list, best of luck, etc.

Harsh Critic said...

I'm worried that your query seems overly wordy, and thus perhaps your manuscript is too. (A short manuscript can still be overwritten.)

Sorry, not for me.

Hilabeans said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. I regret to say that I don’t feel that I’m the most appropriate agent for this project.

Best wishes,

HHS

Eva Ulian said...

This project fails to draw me in, possibly because it lacks a human interest story- Sorry.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,
I received and read your query. I'm going to pass.

I'm not sure where the setting is, I got a little overwhelmed with the pampas, desert, plains, rocky soil. Maybe you'd want to start right up with The glyphs of Nazca are one of the great...

Best to you,
Agent SCL

Lynne Connolly said...

This one. I want this one

Erm Dear Author, please send the manuscript and synopsis by email.

Other Lisa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately it's not what I'm looking for. Best of luck in your search for representation, and keep writing!

Best,

Agent X

Vicky said...

Thank you for querying our agency. Unfortunately, this project is not right for us. Best of luck finding representation for your work.

All best.

(Note to author: Too much space is spent on descriptions and on telling how great the story is rather than showing the plot and characterization. As a result, I did not find the query compelling.)

Cassandra said...

Dear Author,

I'm afraid that at this time I am unable to offer representation for your novel. This is purely a business decision, and unfortunately means that I must turn away many talented individuals. I encourage you to continue querying agents you think might be interested.

I appreciate your interest in Agent for A Day, and wish you every success in your writing career.



Regards,
Cassandra

Lucy A muse ision said...

Dear Writer,
If I am duplicating this reply, my apologies. My computer went down for awhile and I wanted to make sure you heard from me as I know how much work goes into a writer's efforts.
Thanks. Sorry, it's not for me,
but best of luck!

Lucy A muse ision
Fictitious Agent

Dawn G. said...

Dear Author,

Unfortunately, I am unable to offer you representation at this time. Thank you for submitting your work for consideration. Please keep me in mind for future projects.

Kindest Regards,

D. Agent

Heather said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but it's not for me.

Good luck!
Heather


* First, the query was on the long side.
* Then, after reading all of that, I still have no idea what the book is even about.
* You're giving me book descriptors instead of plot, and I need to know plot to know if I'm interested.

Dorine White said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but I'm afraid this isn't the right fit for me.

Best Regards,
Agent for a day

You might consider a more concise description of your novel.

Endless Secrets said...

Dear Author,

I thank you for your query and wish you the best of luck with your writing int o future, unfortuanley i am not a proper choice for the representation of this novel

Best of luck

-Lea

Cary Louisa said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't feel this project is right for me.

Thanks,
Cary

KathyF said...

Dear Author of Query #26,

Thank you for your query, but GLYPHS isn't right for me.

KathyF

SammyStewart said...

Form Rejection.

Annalee said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your manuscript. I'm afraid it isn't right for me.

Regards,
-Annalee

-----------
Reason: Just didn't grab me. I would cut the description of the writing style (if it's there, I'll see it in the pages) and the explanation of the length--either the writing is good enough to be that short or it's not.

Agent KES said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I am not able to offer you representation at this time. Best of luck,

Agent KES

super agent nicole said...

Dear author,

Thank you for your time in submitting your query. Unfortunately, this story does not seem like a good match for me at this time.

Thank you,
Nicole

note: i loved your last line; i almost requested it just because of that. if i wasn't limited to only 5, i might have

bookshop said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent submission. I regret that I am unable to offer you representation at this time. I wish you luck in your search for representation.

Regards,

Bookshop

_______________

(Hi! Okay, so, you start out with a really intriguing opening paragraph, gives us background without feeling heavy-handed, nicely done - and then 2 paragraphs later you're talking about tv production. It doesn't fit.

The problem I have with this query is that it gives little to no sense of what the actual plot is (who are these characters? how do they come together? what's at stake if they don't figure out how to solve the mystery - whatever the mystery even is). Instead it wastes space telling us what we'll think - we'll think it's tense and blackly funny, we'll appreciate the simple science, we'll find the style visceral and deep!

That kind of telling actually has a negative impact - it creates resentment on the part of the reader. You could have, instead, actually written black humor and sharp, easy-to-understand science, into the query itself, while telling us about your plot. I still don't know what the plot is!

And that pains me, because I feel like somewhere buried under all the trappings there's a good premise that I'd like to read.

Also, I would guess that it's probably not a great idea to talk about the rationale behind a light word count at this point. If your story can't stand-alone at its close, then it's not complete. If it needs the second "book in the series" in order to make any sense at all, then what you really honest-to-god have is a 120,000-word novel, not a 60,000-word one with a sequel on the way. Once you have an agent, they can work with you and the publisher to ultimately decide whether they will contract you for a 2- or 3-book deal. Your job is just to show up with a finished story. So do that, and don't sweat the sequels. You'll be great if you just focus on showing us action and making us care about your conflict.

Good luck!)

ccallicotte4 said...

Thank you for sending me your query. I appreciate you considering me.

I reviewed your proposal and unfortunately am going to pass on representing it. Please keep in mind that this is a subjective business, and another agent may feel differently. I encourage you to query widely.

Best of luck to you.

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit.

I regret to inform you that at this time I would like to pass on your book.

Best of luck in the future,

Regards,
Agent for a Day, Bookworm Megs

Superfast said...

Thank you so much for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't feel I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Good luck and keep writing!

Sasha said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the best agent to represent your manuscript.

Good luck and yours truly,
AftD

Comments: Your voice is authoritative and articulate. However, I'm not sure a long, loving description of the setting is appropriate when introducing a "tight...thriller."

Jen C said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to the Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever. I regret that, at this time, your project is not quite what I’m looking for. I wish you the best of luck in your continuing search for representation.
Sincerely,
Jen C.

Kelly Guentner said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the query. I regret to inform you that this is not the right work for me to represent at this time.

I wish you luck in your future writing career.

Sincerely,
Kelly Guentner

The Classic Carol said...

Dear Author:
Thanks for your query. Enjoyed how your writing drew me in, helpful would be understanding more about your characters, their motivation, even names. My top priority is to select what best matches our agency, I don't see a an opportunity here for GLYPS. Best wishes as you pursue an agent better suited to your work.

Kavanaugh and Byrne's LA said...

Dear Author

Thank you opportunity to consider your work at Kavanaugh and Byrne’s Literary Agency.

We do not feel that are the best match with this project.
We wish you every success with this and other ventures

Flower Kavanaugh

Tara Ryan said...

Dear Author,
Thank you so much for submitting your work to me. Unfortunately, Glyphs is not a good fit for me at this time. I wish you much luck in your writing endeavors.
Agent-for-a-day

StrugglingToMakeIt said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Best,

Agent

(For me, no hook.)

ikmar said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. Sorry, but it is not for me.

Sincerely,
Agent for the Day

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

While this project shows merit, I'm afraid it didn't fully resonate with me. I feel sure that another agent will feel differently, and wish you the best of luck.

-Agent Pro Tempore

bridge said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, but I'm not right for this work.
Best,
Bridge
On a personal note, this is telling me what I'm going to read, what the story is about, but doesn't at all show. I mean let me feel why I'm going to like your characters. I don't need background information in the query, it just bogs it down. I would work to tighten this up and make some sort of a grabber to get my attention. Hope this helps,
Bridge

Disgruntled Bear said...

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately I am going to have to pass at this time.
I wish you the best of luck with another agent.

Sincerely,
Agent

Mystery Robin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I am not the right agent for this book. Best of luck!

Robin

You dance around the story without telling us what the story is. Who is the main character, what is the main conflice, how is the character affected?

EJ Lange said...

Author,

Thank you for your query. Your concept intruiges me. Please send me your first three chapters. I would also love to see a summary that includes information about your characters. That seemed to be lacking a bit in your query. Still, as I said, I like the concept. I look forward to reading your pages.

Agent Erin

EJ Lange said...

sorry, i forgot to add:

*****
requested:
#9
#10
#26
#37
#46

Anonymous said...

I would like to see more, please send me three chapters.

Marie

Pap said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in my agency. However, I will not be requesting any further materials from you at this time. Please note that submissions are a very subjective business and my comments are not a critique on your writing ability. I strongly encourage you to continue your search for an agent and wish you all the best.

Your sincerely,

Make-believe Agency

Adam Heine said...

It might be an interesting idea, but I can't tell. There's a lot of telling and vague details. What happens in the story? What is the controversy? What's the mystery? What's the political intrigue?

I'm sorry, but this isn't right for me. Thank you for submitting and good luck.

Katy said...

Thank you for your submission. However, your query did not give me a clear view of either your plot or your writing. I'm afraid I am going to pass on this.
Best of luck,
Katy

Cat Hellisen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.  Your proposal is interesting, but I don't feel that the project is quite right for me. I wish you the best of luck in finding representation elsewhere.

Best,
Cat.

Leslie said...

Dear Author,

Thank your for taking the time to query me about your book. It sounds interesting but I have to pass at this time.

Best wishes, Leslie

Gregory said...

Dear Author;

Form rejection. [I'm really getting tired of rejecting these queries... just hate to do it. It's getting painful. But...]

Cordially,

Agent Gregory

[The concept is familiar -- alien signs/artifacts I assume? -- but you never specifically hook me. As others have said, you have to jump right in, show don't tell. (Or "tell" me by showing me.) Study (don't just read) Nathan's advice on query writing. It's very good. To hook me, you have to write the back cover of the book. Who is the protagonist? What is their struggle? (The struggle itself has to have a unique twist... has to grab me.) Don't tell me. SHOW me. And do it in 200 words or less.]

Thomas said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not appropriate for my current needs. I wish you luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,
Tally

Eden said...

Thanks for the opportunity but I'm afraid I'll have to pass on representing this piece.

Best of luck with your writing.

~Eden

Melinda said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but unfortunately this project isn't right for me. Best of luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,

Melinda

P.S. Your first paragraph intrigued me, but the rest of the query is too vague/somewhat confusing without a clear sense of the plot and main characters. I'd also cut your last two paragraphs (except for the last line).

CJK said...

Please email the first three chapters to me for consideration. Best wishes, CJK

Merry Monteleone said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Only Literary Agency Insane Enough To Trust Me With Queries. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pass.

Best of luck,

Merry

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for thinking of me, your novel sounds interesting but it's not for me at this time.

Good luck with your search for an agent.

Kind regards,

amyandnick

(PS - I like the Peru setting and how you said "debut novel" instead of first novel, but I feel like the query is missing some plot details. Good luck.)

Vic K said...

Thank you for submitting to my agency, however I am not able to offer representation at this time.

Regards,
Vic K.

Reason; The premise here intrigued me, and sounds promisingly original. However, the query is more 'tell than show' and I'd worry the novel might be the same. I'd be likely to pass, for this reason.

MK said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission. After careful consideration, I've decided this manuscript isn't for us at this time.

Good luck with your search.

Best,
Agent For a Day

Sage said...

Dear Glyphs,

I didn't get a good enough sense of the novel from your query, and I'm afraid I'm going to have to pass.

Thanks,
Sage

Krista said...

Sorry, form rejection.

Your premise is interesting, but I think you need to give more info on your characters and a better sense of plot.

Selene said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for contacting Selene Literary. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that this project is not right for us.

While I like the premise of your novel, I felt that I did not get enough sense of the plot or characters.

We wish you the best of luck in finding an agent that is as enthusiastic about this book as it deserves.

Best regards,
Selene Da Agent
Selene Literary

Nay said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.
I will have to pass on this project, but best of luck to you.

-Nay

theflightytemptress said...

Dear Glyphs,

Thank you for your submission, but unfortunately it’s not for me. Publishing is a very subjective business, though, and another agent may feel differently. Best of luck on your continued search.

Yours,

Kat Brauer

Julie Weathers said...

Dear Author,

There were interesting points in your submission, but I’m afraid I can’t offer representation. This is a subjective business, and what appeals to one reader doesn’t always appeal to another. With my current workload, I have to be very discriminating and take on only projects I am passionate about.

I urge you to continue your quest to be published and wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

J.M. Agent

(This is really frustrating because it's exactly something I would read. However, you give no details. There's a bit of intriguing description and then you tell what the book is about, kind of.)

Sol said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I am interested in reading more of your writing and am requesting a partial.

Please past the first 30 pages of your manuscript in reply to this email message.

Kind regards,

Sol Nima

Annie said...

I'd pass.

Reason: although I love the idea to set a novel in Peru, you tell me that this is a thriller, but the query shows me none of it. I don't get a sense of plot at all.

Jessumby said...

Dear Author

Thank you for sending me your query. I regret to inform you that it does not suit the needs of my list at this time.

Regards, Jessumby

thin said...

Dear Author,
While it seems like an interesting premise for a book, I'm sorry to say that I cannot take on the project. Thank you for considering me, and best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
Thin

Polenth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. As your story didn't resonate with me, I'm going to have to pass.

--
Polenth

RW said...

Dear Author:

Thank you very much for your query. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to consider your work for representation. As you know, it’s a competitive market these days, and I don’t believe I have the right relationships to sell this project successfully. I do wish you luck in finding an agent and thank you for considering me.

Yours truly,

RW

wickerman said...

Dear Author,


Thank you for your query. I am afraid Glyphs is not right for me at this time.


Best of Luck,

The Wickerman

Nathan Bransford's Wingman

Dara said...

Dear Glyphs,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not think I am the right person for this book. I wish you success in your search for representation.

Best,

Dara

Specifics: The query was too vague, especially with the intro paragraoh and I didn't get any sense of the voice. I think it needs a little more crafting to show the suspense of the book; I didn't really feel that from the query. The premise is interesting though. With a tighter query, I'd lean more towards a request.

Deniz Bevan said...

Thank you for your query, but I wouldn't be the right agent in this instance.
I wish you luck finding the right home for your work.
Sincerely,
Ms Agent Agency

Soratian said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query but I'm afraid I'll be passing on this one.

I'm not getting a very strong sense of your plot here. You spent quite a lot of time describing the writing style, but much less time pitching the hook. You might want to think about this as you continue with your pitching.

Best regards,
Soratian

(Comments: No need to talk too much about the rest of the series. You can say that it's planned to be part of a series.)

JuJu said...

Dear Author,

Though your project shows some promise and sounds interesting, unfortunately it is just not the right one for me. Please keep in mind that appeal as a novel is entirely subjective – so keep at it!

Sincerely,
JuJu

(What about the protagonist(s)?)

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your submission but it doesn't seem right for me at this time.

Good luck in the future.

Good idea but I don't think the presentation shows marketability without lots of work.

Jabez said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not believe I am the best agent to represent your manuscript. Best of luck in your quest for publication.

Dale - Las Vegas said...

Thank you for your submission but it doesn't seem right for me at this time.

Good luck in the future.

Patti K. said...

Thank you for your submission but it is not right for me at this time. Good luck in your quest for the perfect agent.

Patti K.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Form rejection.


The first paragraph drew me in, and then you lost me with telling me what the novel does rather than showing me what it is. I am intrigued by the first paragraph alone though I was wondering if this was non-fiction by its tone.

Sherry Ficklin said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for thinking of me, but I'm going to have to pass. Best of luck finding another agent!

Sincerely, Agent Faux

educlaytion said...

1. I'm going to pass.
2. I'm prepared to regret passing.
Strong pitch.

lucy in the sky said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not believe I am the best person to represent your work.

Kats said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query. I didn't get a good understanding of what your story is about from your letter though, and don't believe I'm the right agent for this.

Best,
Agent for a Day, Kats

Maricar said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. The story is intriguing, but I need more specific information about the mystery to know whether it will work for me. I will therefore have to pass on this. Good luck.

Janeal C. Falor said...

Thank you for the opportunity to look at you work. Unfortunately, I don't feel this is the right project for me.

Tree said...

Dear Author:
I want to thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. Unfortunately, I did not connect well enough with your project to pursue it further. As I'm sure you know, agenting is a very subjective business. Although your project didn't fit with my particular list, another agent may respond very differently.
Please accept my best wishes for success in your writing career and finding the perfect advocate for your work.
Sincerely,
Tree

Belinda Frisch said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. However, I am not able to offer representation at this time.

Best Wishes,
Belinda

Heather Harper said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. After careful consideration, I regret that I’m unable to request your manuscript at this time.

Best,
Agent for a day

Lipstick Lizzie said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for the chance to look at your work. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m the right agent for this project.

Best of luck,
Lizzie

cwsherwoodedits said...

Thank you for your query. I'm going to have to pass.

Fairduncan said...

Dear Author

Thanks for querying us. I regret I have to pass on this one, but wish you every success in finding representation.

Cordially Yours,
Agent

JohnO said...

Dear Agent,

I'm going to pass here.

Forgive me for being formulaic, but I was looking for a more complete set-up: who will the reader root for? Who (or what) is the opponent? What's the conflict?

Best,
Agent

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

I'm going to pass here, though mostly because of taste and not any flaw in your project. This was a tough call for me, and I would have read a couple of pages if they'd been there.

Best,
Agent

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for letting me consider your project. Unfortunately, it is not quite right for my list. I must therefore step aside and encourage you to submit elsewhere.

Best,
Agent

Amethyst Greye Alexander said...

Dear Author,

I've reviewed your query but am afraid your project isn't a good fit with the works I represent. I hope you won't let this discourage you, however, as every agent has different tastes and you're sure to find representation that will better suit your needs.

Thank you for considering me.
Amethyst Adams

Anonymous said...

Form Rejection.

Agent DC

Wandering Spirit said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Unfortunately I am unable to offer you representation at this time. However, all writing is of value and I wish you the best in your endeavours.

Best wishes

Agent for a Day

Note: This was tough. I was drawn in by the first paragraph (I’m a Bruce Chatwin fan and immediately thought of ‘In Patagonia’) however I lost interest as the plot appeared to become complex. Sorry.

Savannah Pens said...

Dear Author: Thank you for your query. While I found your premise intriguing I did not see enough specifics as to the the main characters or their conflicts to persuade me that this manuscript would be right for my agency. Best wishes. Savannah Pens Agent

Venus Vaughn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, your project doesn't meet my needs at this time.
Best of luck to you in your writing career.

~Venus Vaughn

lilianamama said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your interest in the "Be An Agent For a Day" contest. While I find your idea intriguing, your query's language does not explain your plot effectively. 1. Attempt to use text from your story that displays your skill as a fiction author. 2. Show rising tension, problems, solutions, the story's arc, resolution and conclusion and if at all possible, how your main character changes throughout the book. 4. Only use the story's major characters. I wish you all the best.

Maryann Miller said...

So sorry, but this is not right for us. Good luck placing it elsewhere.

Horserider said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for allowing us to consider your work. I’m sorry to say that this is not something we are interested in at this time. We receive hundreds of submissions every week and, unfortunately, cannot take them all on. This is a very subjective business and I wish you luck on your journey to publication.

Sincerely,

Horserider Literary Agency

Jenn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. While your story sounds interesting, I do not believe it is appropriate for my needs at this time.

Sincerely,
Fake Agent

---I lost interest after the first paragraph. Way too much description, not enough plot and characters. But this might just not be my type of storytelling.

KareFree Kennels said...

Glyphs

Sorry, not for me.

Best of luck,
Sheryl

Lupina said...

Thank you but it's not for me at this time.

The Lupina Agency

Elizabeth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel strongly enough about the work to request further material.

Best regards,

Agent Elizabeth

Barbara Webb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sharing your work, but I'm going to pass.

Best of luck!

Barbara

Lucy said...

Dear Author: Thank you for contacting us. Unfortunately, we do not feel that we are a suitable agency to represent your work. We wish you every success in your search for an agent. Sincerely, L. C.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Raven56 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying "Agent for a Day" Agency. Unfortunately, we do not feel this story is a good fit for our list at this time. We encourage you to continue querying other agents.

Best of luck,

Raven56

Bekkoni said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submisson. Unfortunately, this is not right for us at this time.

Best wishes,
Bekkoni

Pinkie said...

Dear Author,

I like your voice in this query and have confidence that your series will be successful. Please send me the first three chapters for further review.

Thanks.
CPK

Audrey E said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for query. I'm afraid that this piece isn't right for me and I will have to pass at this time.

Yours,
Audrey

Janny said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for querying me with GLYPHS. This book, however, isn't right for me. I wish you the best of luck in placing it elsewhere!

Sincerely,
Janny

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank your for your interest in our agency. However, I'm afraid this isn't quite right for us. Best of luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,

Agent.

(The query needs to talk about the story, not describe the author's opinion of the story. It's possible there's a great story here, but the author failed to include that in the query.)

Carradee said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this story isn't for me. Another agent might feel differently.

I wish you success in your writing endeavor.

Carradee

Taymalin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this story is not for me at this time. Best of luck with your future endeavors,

Taymalin

sKim said...

Thank you for sending this original proposal. We regret that it doesn't suit our needs at the moment. Best of luck to you.

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