Nathan Bransford, Author


Monday, April 13, 2009

Be An Agent for a Day: Query #25

This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here

Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!
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Dear Agent for a Day,

This is my first novel:

Sixteen-year-old Ellie Matthew's nightly routine of sneaking out and clubbing is broken when her traveling salesman father returns home for good and sends her to a church-run abstinence program. There, she meets eighteen-year-old John Branson IV, who is charming, rich, handsome, and desperately trying to shed his hard-partying lifestyle. Together, they realize the shallowness of their past relationships and the loneliness of ignoring your true self in order to be popular. A young adult novel, CHASING CHASTITY is not a social agenda for religion and abstinence or against drugs and alcohol. These factors only provide the backdrop to the story. The core of the story is about two lonely high-school kids who finally find the love and acceptance that they crave. I have copied the first page of the first chapter of CHASING CHASTITY at the bottom of this query.

I have just begun to read your blog, but I am positive that I will forsake most of my responsibilities in order to thoroughly peruse the archives. As a novelist taking her first steps, I know that your posts will fill my head with the know-how to get my book published. Knock on wood.

Thank you for taking the time to consider my submission,

Author

*Chasing Chastity*

Chapter One

Ellie

The day’s heat had simmered down and the night air ghosted over my skin like a sigh. Still, the soles of my feet began to sweat as I tiptoed, barefoot, out the backdoor. Outside, I slipped my feet, wet from the dew-dotted grass, into my heels. They were uncomfortably tight.

I was as unsteady on my feet as I had been the first time I went out. My ankles, weak as wet noodles, wobbled on the three-inch stilettos. The rubber tipped ends of my heels clicked against the sidewalk and the street lamps cast my shadow onto the street.

Even in quiet and well-lit suburbia, I was jumpy. Now that Joanna had moved out, I had no one to keep me company during the fifteen-minute walk to New Clark. A dog barked and my heart fluttered nervously. I crossed my arms tightly across my chest — a makeshift shield against any lurkers in the bushes.

My toenail polish was chipped. With every step, my red-speckled nails would come into view. They peeked out of the quarter-size hole cut into the ends of my shoes. The hard leather around the hole cut a pink groove into my big toe and a big, ugly blister was blooming.

I always came home after a night-out with blisters, but, for some reason, having someone there to complain with made the pain less present. When Joanna was around, we would draw up a bath and dip our achy feet into the warm water. Then we’d sit on the plastic edge of the tub, our heels discarded on the bathroom rug and our dresses hitched up to our thighs, and talk until our legs fell asleep.

A car glided past me, and a trailing breeze of exhaust and summer air lifted the edges of my dress. Loud music pounded the insides of the car and the passenger window was half-opened. A wrist, encircled by a charm bracelet, hung out the window and a fat roach burned between her fingers. Watching the car drive away, I wondered if I knew the owner of the smoke-tinged fingers and a part of me hoped that the car would stop and that whoever was inside would offer me a ride. The other part was scared of what I would do if the car did stop.

I was both relieved and disappointed when I finally saw its glowing taillights fade into the midnight mist. I had a driver’s license, but our garage door hadn’t been oiled in years. Whenever it opened or closed, it creaked and groaned so loudly that the house practically shook from its vibrations. My mother, heavy sleeper that she was, would have snored through it and my little sisters would have pretended not to hear it, as I had done for my older siblings. However, my father, back for good since mid-June, could hear the refrigerator door opening at three in the morning and would have certainly caught me before I even pulled out onto the driveway.

STATS: 4% request rate






328 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 328   Newer›   Newest»
Derek said...

Dear Author,

I'm sorry, but I've already used up 4 out of my allotted 5 manuscript request rights, so I'm having to be more selective. I'll pass on this one.

Agent For A Day.

JSB said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Chasing Chastity isn't right for my needs at this time.

Best of luck,

JSB

Anonymous said...

Oh good god. I don't think it works if the writer herself claims the story isn;t didactic. The query needs to show that the story does more than edify, And I dont see how it does. This is totally not for me.

So:


Dear author,
Your manuscript is just not right for me. Thanks for querying.

sincerely,
moniza

scj said...

Sorry, but this isn't right for me. The query didn't provide enough specifics about the plot, and the sample page was too vague to draw me in. Best of luck.

David said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission. While the pages demonstrate that you are a good writer, I'm afraid there isn't enough story here to support a marketable novel. You clearly have talent, however, and I encourage you to keep working on your craft.

Sincerely,
David

ai-hua said...

Nice, but not for me. Form rejection.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent query. Unfortunately, your project is not right for me.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

[I know this is not intended to be a Christian/social-agenda type novel, but the query does seem to read that way. Maybe if the abstinence group were lifted out of the church-run environment and to one more secular in nature it would appeal to a broader audience; otherwise, the querier should focus his or her efforts on agents that represent a more religious world view. Just a thought - and just an opinion.]

reader said...

Pass.

Thank you for sending this query, best of luck to you.

brian_ohio said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best,

Brian

Cat Hellisen said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query.  Your proposal is interesting, but I don't feel that the project is quite right for me. I wish you the best of luck in finding representation elsewhere.

Best,
Cat.

quixotic said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, however, I do not feel excited enough about, CHASING CHASTITY to request anything further.

Good luck in your search for an agent.

Quixotic

Anonymous said...

Plus I just do not see how any agent could sell a book called Chasing Chastity. In today's market? You need to sugarcoat chastity with vampire lore, and throw in someone who looks like edward from twilight.

bridge said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I'm afraid I have to pass.
Best wishes,
Bridge
On a personal note, I like this premise a lot and it it is timely relevent and interesting, however the query doesn't sell it well. The first half is too fragmented and telling. I' not shown why I should care much about these characters ironically the boy seems more likable and I am guessing the girl is the main. I need to get a feel for the voice more and while the summary is stronger it could be better. That being said the premise and story idea are really good. I love them.
Hope this helps,
Bridge

Laura said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but the subject matter is not a good fit for me.

Stylistically speaking, to offer a bit of advice: less is more.

Best of luck!

Agent Laura

Agent X said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to query. I'm afraid this isn't the right piece for me. I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Agent X

romoak said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. While aspects of this story are intriguing, this story is not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your continued efforts. Please keep in mind that other agents are different.

-- Even though the author states it is not supposed to preach, the feel of the query came across like it was. I think it needs to reflect that, not just be stated. Otherwise, the premise is intriguing.

Owl Sprite said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sending me the query for "Chasing Chastity." You wrote a very catchy and amusing letter, which I greatly enjoyed reading. Your writing shows great promise, and I like the premise of your book very much.

If I were a real agent, I would love to work with you on this one. Unfortunately, I'm not a real agent, and I suspect, from your pages, that you haven't been published yet. Your writing is very good, but not quite at the highly polished level I'm looking for... yet. So I think that this is probably not "one of the three."

But it could be.

Congratulations on a great submission to the contest. Keep the faith!

PPP said...

Dear Author,

I like your premise. But I'd need more details to be sure this novel isn't like every other "I got caught partying and now must attend a church-run abstinence program where I meet a cute guy with issues" novel. You know?

Really, best of luck. You've got some good ideas, but I have to pass.

Signed,
PPP

Lucy A muse ision said...

Thanks. Sorry.

Lucy A muse ision
Fictitious Agent

Bija Andrew Wright said...

Sorry, I'm not the right agent for this book. Best of luck.

(Word verification: mootate. A verb meaning "to become an X-Cow.")

Keri Ford said...

Thank you for submitting, but unfortunately I didn’t connect with this story idea.

Good Luck,
Keri


<><><><><><><><>
Suggest getting rid of any reference to this being your 1st book. I thought the query was interesting, and was glad to see you included pages. However, I passed becaused the story didn't draw me in. I found myself reading, wanting to like it after seeing the query blurb, but I just wasn't pulled in as I wanted to be.

Lisa R said...

Dear Chasing Chastity:

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately your project was not right for me but it shows promise and I'm sure another agent will feel differently. Best of luck,

Lisa R

This was a well written query although I too would like to know a bit more about the plot. The writing sample I thought was well-done although I think it would benefit from cutting some of the adverbs and adjectives just a bit. I kind of got bogged down in all the description although that is just a subjective thing. Just for me personally less is more.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

I enjoyed your writing, But I must pass this query along to an agent I'm sure is a better fit. Their agency is looking for inspirational stories for teens.

Agent XXX


** This was tough because the voice and premise are just right for all those kids out there who are trying to find themselves without drugs, booze and sex.
Darn, I have a feeling
I might regret this...I think if I were a real agent, I'd request anyway since I wouldn't have a limit.

suki said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me. I wish you luck in your search for representation.

Regards,
Suki


Reasoning: The idea is interesting, but the premise felt fatally didactic. And the fact that the author included a denial only intensifies my belief, rather than relieves it. Perhaps rewriting to flesh out the plot a bit, and remove the didactic feel would freshen up the premise. But I fear that even if the book isn't as didactic as it sounds, readers will never learn that because it feels didactic any way you can blurb it. Also, the pages appeared in need of revision to tighten up the writing. It has that workable draft of a first novel feel, where the author hasn't yet learned to trust her reader and is in love with description. I got bogged down very fast. BUT, the good news is the author shows skill and might have a very marketable novel with further revision. Or, at least, maybe a future novel would be. Find a brutal critique group or beta readers and embrace the process. :}

Owl Sprite said...

X-Cow: hee hee!

Anonymous said...

Dear Author:

The idea has some potential, but I feel the hook should come sooner and you might front load the story with some background on the character's father so that when he comes home, we understand why this would create conflict. Peel off some of the shoes in the grass stuff and give us a reason why dad coming home should matter.

You also seem very concerned about the book coming off as religious dogma or advocating a certain point of view you don't want to be seen as advocating. Don't apologize for your book and if you're worried about it, change the title. You should change the title, anyway.

Regards,

Mr. Snark

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your book isn't right for me. Though I'm interested in themes like religion and chastity, the query makes CHASING CHASTITY seem preachy. I'd have liked to know more about the plot rather than the lessons the characters learn. Agenting is subjective, though, and I wish you the best of luck!

Sincerely,
Megan

AgentMan said...

Not something we'd be interested in.

AgentMan

Caroline said...

Dear Author:

Your premise sounds interesting, but the voice of your protagonist did not draw me in. Please consider submitting future work.

Best of luck,

Agent Caroline

Renee Collins said...

Dear Chasing Chastity,

Thank your for your query. I did see promise in the concept. Unfortunately, it's not quite right for me.

Best of luck,

Renee

Onovello said...

Dear Author:

Many thanks for your query. Unfortunately, I'm not the right agent for your work

I do wish you success in finding representation.

Best,
Onovello

Moth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query to Moth's Literary Agency. While your story sounds interesting, I'm afraid it's just not right for us. Best of luck in your writing career.

Sincerely,
Moth

selestial-owg said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm sorry to say your manuscript does not meet our needs at this time. I wish you the best.

Selestial


The premise didn't really grab me. You didn't give genre or word count in your query either. I read the first couple paragraphs anyway though and I liked what I read. This was a tough call for me, but premise trumps writing since I don't think I could stick with it through the whole book - so truly a subjective thing.

Sophie W. said...

Dear Author of Chasing Chastity,

Although your work shows merit, I cannot request further materials at this time. Keep in mind that this business is terribly subjective, and you'll probably get the chance to thumb your nose at me in the future.

Love,

Sophie

beth said...

Dear Author,

Although I appreciate your submission, I'm sorry but it just isn't for me. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.

Sincerely,
beth

(Reasoning: This one felt really preachy to me.)

kdrausin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for requesting my representation. I applaud your determination and effort in completing your novel. Your story is not right for me at this time; however I encourage you to keep writing and pursuing publication.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

Sincerely,

KDrausin

jimnduncan said...

Thank you for querying me, but I'm afraid I must pass on your story. Good luck in your continued writing endeavors.

(reason: nothing unique enough to grab my interest here, and the author needs to not worry about explaining away the fact that it isn't a christian issues story. It only detracts from the query)

K. Andrew Smith said...

Dear author,

Thank you for your submission, Chasing Chastity. Unfortunately, it's not quite right for me. I wish you good fortune in your quest for an agent.

Sincerely,

K. Andrew Smith

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I will have to pass at this time.

Best,

Meg Spencer

sraasch said...

Dear Author,

Your first page was very intriguing, but this isn't my kind of novel. I have no doubt you're well on your way to getting an agent, though!

Thanks!
Sara

David de Beer said...

Dear Author,

please send me the full manuscript as soon as it's convenient.

Thank you,
David de Beer

note: the query itself was a bit lackluster and based on that alone I would probably have passed but the writing I like. Not sold, not yet, but the writing is strong enough for me to want another look.

Getabo Publishing said...

I like the query length. I really like the premise and opening line. in sample: I like the opening idea, sneaking out, tension of the car driving by, the relationships are hinted at, the loss of Joanna - although subtle, I almost missed the father was back for good on first reading.

Query suggestion:
I get a little lost from "Together, they realize the shallowness of their past relationships"... perhaps there would be another way of showing me that instead of telling in a quite cliched way - "so when X happens, Y conflict shows that he past relationship was Z".

I feel that there is not enough concrete action to grab me (yet!) - if it comes in the story, perhaps it could be mentioned sooner in the opening and also in the query.


***
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately we do not think that your book would be a likely prospect for our list.

We regret that the large number of submissions we receive makes it impossible to offer individual comment. We believe it is more important to read and evaluate every query / submission we receive with due consideration.

We appreciate you thinking of Getabo Creative Publishing, and wish you the best of luck with your manuscript and future writing endeavors.

Sincerely.
The Editors
Getabo Creative Publishing

Kitti said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I regret to inform you that I am going to have to pass on this, but please keep me in mind for your future projects.

Best of luck,
Kitti

:)Ash said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your interest in my agency. Unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for you at this time. Best wishes as you continue your search.

Sincerely yours,

:)Ash

jjdebenedictis said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent query; discovering new talent is one of the joys of being a literary agent, and I am always honoured to have the opportunity to read a writer's best work.

Please accept my regrets, however, as I won't be offering to represent this novel. I apologize for informing you of this using a form letter, but the volume of mail I receive makes it impractical for me to give personalized rejections.

I wish you the very best luck in finding a literary agent whose enthusiasm will bring your book the success it deserves!

Sincerely,
J. J. DeGoblin

~~~~~~~
For your reference, here are the most common reasons why I decline certain queries. Please note that if your submission was very good, my reasons for rejecting it were probably much subtler than the items on this list and cannot be put quickly into words. Again, I apologize for this form letter, but I cannot invest the time to critique those submissions I have chosen to not represent. Thank you for your understanding.


Most common reasons why I decline manuscripts:

[ ]--The manuscript is in a genre which I don't represent

[ ]--The query appears to be a non-personalized mass mailing

[ ]--The query/manuscript's presentation was worryingly unpolished
(E.g. Many spelling, grammar, punctuation or homophone errors; a non-standard format)

[ ]--The writing doesn't seem polished enough
(This improves with practice; your next novel may be excellent)

[ X ]--The plot doesn't sound compelling enough
(Again, this improves with practice and self-education)

[ ]--The plot sounds too similar to something book-buyers have already seen


Comments, if any:
The plot sounds too slight to sustain an entire novel, and I do worry that the premise of an abstinence program will come across as religious propaganda to readers.

Your sample pages show some good writing, but the pacing is slow due to an excess of description.

sirayn said...

Dear X,

Thank you for your query. I’m afraid I have to pass, but I wish you luck in finding an agent who’s passionate about your work.

Today’s Agent

(Reasoning: tough call, because the premise was interesting, but I wasn't hooked by the first page. Lots of words to say that a girl is walking home at night. It leaves me unsure when the plot will turn up, and what it is. Going back to the query: don't tell the agent that this is your first novel and you're reading his/her archives for publishing information - it presents you as an amateur, and honestly, you need to read up on publishing *before* you start to query. Remember to give the wordcount. Leaving it out always looks suspicious, like you're way long or way short.)

John said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for giving me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, it's not something I think I can sell at present. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.

Colorado Writer said...

Sorry, not for me.
Best,
Agent Name

Nixy Valentine said...

Dear Author:

I'm sorry, but I don't believe I'm the right agent for your project.

Notes: What it came down to was the number of slots. The opening was well written and tight, and the query was well written.

You might consider removing the line "CHASING CHASTITY is not a social agenda for religion and abstinence or against drugs and alcohol." That hadn't occurred to me until I read the line, and when I did, I couldn't get it out of my head and it put me off.

I would remove the line "This is my first novel" or put it at the bottom of the letter. That need not be the first thing an agent reads. Also your third paragraph doesn't really sound like a professional writer? Perhaps instead refer to your career goals?

I think you will definitely find an agent though, and this shows a lot of promise! Sorry to have to say no to this.

Jenn Johansson said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best of luck!
JR

Melissa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I don't think I'm the right agent for your book. I wish you best of luck in placing it elsewhere.

Melissa

DeadlyAccurate said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your query and I apologize for this form reply.

I regret I have to pass on many interesting projects due to time constraints. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.


Sincerely,

DeadlyAccurate

Cindy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, however this project does not fit my needs at this time.

All the best,
Cindy

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid it's a pass for me.

Agent99

Comments: Some good writing. The apology of the query turned me off a bit. And go easy on the adverbs.

Libby Martin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, CHASING CHASITY doesn't appear to be the right fit for me for a number of reason (not interested in religious elements being one of them). From the sample, I feel that other agents you might query in the future may think that it would be a better fit to be written in present tense.

Best of luck,
Lucy.

Rick Daley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Authors Write Literary Agency. I have reviewed your query for CHASING CHASTITY, and I’m sorry to say that I do not feel that I am the best agent to represent your work at this time.

Please keep in mind that there are many talented agents out there, and opinions are subjective based on individual preferences, workload, and market climate.

Don’t be afraid to research other agents and query those that you feel are best suited to represent your work. Best of luck!

Regards,

Daley Agent for a Day

Scott said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for considering me for your project, however I feel it's not right for me at this time.

Good luck,

Scott

Casey said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your time and consideration. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent CHASING CHASTITY and your career as a writer.

In regards to the included first page, I was immediately distracted by the fact that the word "feet" is used three times in the first five sentences. Not sure why.

Best wishes,

Casey

KC in SF said...

Thank you for your query. While you have a timely premise, I don't think I'm a good fit to represent your work.

best wishes,

KC in SF

EJ Lange said...

Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not right for me at this time. Good luck in your search for representation.

Agent Erin

Josephine Damian said...

form rejection

Karen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for you query. I'm sorry to inform you that I will have to pass. But I wish you luck in finding represenatation.

Karen

Rick said...

Author-

Sorry, but I don't represent YA fiction.

If you have not already, you may want to check out AgentQuery. It can help you find an Agent who best suits your needs.

http://www.agentquery.com/

Sincerely,
Rick O

Bane of Anubis said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission, but it isn't right for me. Best of luck,

Bane

(reasoning: I appreciate the backdrop, but I feel it's a bit too formulaic - more details might flush out your story more. The first sentence really turned me off, as well, though that's just my preference and no criticism of the writing).

hannah said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your work, but it's not right for me at this time. This was a close call for me, but I worry, despite your assurances, about the implications of such a moralistic premise. I hope I'm wrong, and you truly do execute this in a fresh way, but I'm just not sure enough to request, though your sample pages were quite strong.

I believe you will find a home for this, and I wish you the best of luck in finding it quickly.

Best,
hannah

gapyeargirl123 said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, but at the moment I do not feel this is a viable book for our lists.

~Agent A

Monika said...

Thank you for your submission, but I do not think this project is right us. This is a subjective business and other agencies will feel differently. We wish you every success with your project.

Craven said...

Thank you for consideration, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck, Craven

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this story isn't right for me at this time.

Sincerely,
Amy

Cat said...

Dear Author,

thank you for considering me but I think your story is not right for me. Feel free to query again when you finish a different story.

Sincerely,
Cat

rejection because I do not like this kind of story - it's an entirely personal preference.

DCS said...

Thank for for your submission. Unfortunately I don't see a good fit between our literary interests.

Christine Rose said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. The pages you sent are well written and captivating; however, your query left me a little confused. Please revise query and resubmit.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

Lois Lavrisa said...

Dear Author,

While I appreciate your consideration of our agency, I will have to pass on your project.
I am sorry to say I did not have the passionate response to it that I would need to request more or offer you representation. Obviously you want an agent who will stand enthusiastically behind your work.

Additionally, given today’s publishing climate I do not believe I would be able to get you the attention from a publisher that your book deserves.

Publishing is very subjective, though, and another agent may well feel differently.

I do wish you success in finding representation and, once again, thank you for the opportunity to consider your work.

Sincerely,

Lois Lavrisa
Agent for a day

Madison said...

Dear Author,

Thank you so much for submitting your work and considering me to represent it. While the story sounds quite interesting, I am afraid it does not fit my list at this point in time and I must regretfully pass. I know rejections can be hard to take, but please keep submitting and following your dream.

Best of luck in your agent hunt!

Sincerely,

Madison

Reason for rejection: Query kinda sends a conflicting message. I don't understand it.

Superfast said...

Thank you so much for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't feel I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Good luck and keep writing!

The Writers Canvas said...

Thanks for your query, but it's not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your writing endeavors!

Elaine

(It was hard to picture the plot without worrying if this would veer into preachy land. I'd suggest somehow rewording it to be more about choices, rather than faith/religion. All comments are subjective and the next agent might love this. Good luck!)

Ramen with cheese said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for allowing RJM Agency to consider your work, but I’m afraid it’s not a good fit for our list. We wish you every bit of luck in your search for representation.

RJM

kaseee said...

Dear Author,

Your project is not without merit, but it isn't right for us at this time. Keep in mind this is a subjective business and another agent may feel differently.

Best of luck,

Agent

Steve Axelrod said...

Sorry but this is not for me. I find the subject matter less than gripping and the prose tries a little too hard. The good news is all you need to do is cut and tighten. Hopefully some more noble soul will take on your book when that editorial work is complete

lesleylsmith said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter.
Unfortunately, your novel is not a good fit for me.
Good luck!
-Lesley
p.s. It probably isn't a good idea to discuss what the story isn't in the query letter.

Tamara said...

Dear Chasing Chastity Author,

While I find the premise for your story intriguing, I'm disappointed to say I did not connect to the writing style. To be more specific, I found the heavy description to be distracting. This business is very subjective, so I encourage you to keep writing and keep querying.

All the best,
Agent for a Day
(Tamara)

PurpleClover said...

Dear Author:

Unfortunately at this time I will not be able to offer representation. Good luck with your endeavors!

Regards,
PC

Eva Ulian said...

Fortunately the writing is much richer than the query. I should like to request a chapter from whence the "abstinence" period is in full swing to see if this richness is sustained. Please send to eva.ulian@btanet.it

abouttothunder said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Congratulations, I’m hooked enough to want to read more. Please send me the full manuscript at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,

Agent-for-a-day Sara

P.S. I liked the girl's voice enought to want to read more, though I do have many reservations. This was a close call because of issues in the query. It sounds preachy and that is a put off. I would also like to know how many words it is.

dhole said...

Dear Author, thanks for your query. Unfortunately, it's not right for my list, best of luck, etc.

Kristi said...

Thank you for your query. I don't feel this is quite right for me but I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,
Kristi

Barb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.

All the best,
Barb

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,
I received and read your query. I'm going to pass.

Ellie's story sounds interesting. Maybe there's something more you could add to help me connect with her story.

Best to you,
Agent SCL

Harsh Critic said...

I am not sure the premise is unique enough to make it stand out in this market. Doesn't your manuscipt boil down to a love story between two troubled teens?

If the writing were spectacular, I'd excuse the non-spectacular premise, but I found the sample to have too much purple prose.

Sorry, not for me.

Chanelley said...

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not what I’m looking for at this time. However, do continue to query widely. After all, it does only take one agent to say yes!
All the best,
Agent for the day

Other Lisa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission of "Chasing Chastity." Unfortunately it's not what I'm looking for at this time.

There's some strong writing here but the prose style is a little wordy. I'd encourage you to take another pass and consider a rigorous edit - you obviously have talent.

Best of luck, and keep writing!

Tryst888 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query but I'm afraid I will have to pass on this one. Best of luck to you in your future endeavors.

Vicky said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me and for sending the initial pages of Chasing Chastity. While you have a strong voice, the plot and characterization are not sufficiently compelling for me to request additional material. I wish you all the best in your search for representation.

(Note to author: Focus on what the story is about in the query rather than what is is not about. Be sure to clarify the conflict and crisis.)

Cassandra said...

Dear Author,

I'm afraid that at this time I am unable to offer representation for your novel. This is purely a business decision, and unfortunately means that I must turn away many talented individuals. I encourage you to continue querying agents you think might be interested.

I appreciate your interest in Agent for A Day, and wish you every success in your writing career.



Regards,
Cassandra

Dawn G. said...

Dear Author,

Unfortunately, I am unable to offer you representation at this time. Thank you for submitting your work for consideration. Please keep me in mind for future projects.

Kindest Regards,

D. Agent

Cary Louisa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. While the story at first seemed intriguing, the narration really didn't click with me.

Thanks,
Cary

Heather said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but it's not for me.

Good luck!
Heather

Dorine White said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I like the idea of your novel, it stands out as an original idea, however, from your sample page I believe more work needs to be done.

Thank you,
Agent for a day

super agent nicole said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I liked your writing style, but I do not think that this novel would sell to young adults well. Most would read the plot and think it was going to preach. If you rework the plot slightly to make it less church-influenced, please feel free to requery me. Otherwise, please keep me in mind for future projects.


Thank you,
Nicole

Endless Secrets said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, I regret to inform you that although I think your writing is well done, the story does not reel me in and the genre not up my alley.

Best of luck to you.

-Lea

KathyF said...

Dear Author of Query #25,

Thank you for your query, but CHASING CHASTITY isn't right for me.

KathyF

SammyStewart said...

Form Rejection, the query doesn't do the pages justice. :)

sally apokedak said...

I love the writing on the first page. I'm less in love with the premise. But that writing is strong enough to make me want to give this one a look. Send it to me, please.

gwen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest. Unfortunately, this project is not a good fit for me at the present time.

Regards,

Gwen

***

(Side note: though the author insists that the story is not intended to be didactic or overtly religious in nature, the excerpt and the query itself do indeed appear both didactic and overtly religious. I do not feel comfortable accepting a project that immediately comes with a disclaimer, andd so I must pass.)

Nik said...

Thank you for your query. I love the title and the concept sounds very interesting. I am however going to pass at this point.

Reasoning: I think the query blurb can be tightened, and I don't think you need to worry about explaining that this is not a social agenda. I personally didn't get that vibe from the blurb. I would like to have a better idea of the length of the story and know that it's complete.

Regarding the first page. I think the writing is good, but you can tighten it a tad more by going deeper into her mind as she's experiencing the moment. For example, instead of saying the heels were uncomfortably tight have her wish as she's slipping them on that the borrowed heels weren't a size an a half too small. As she's walking and half hoping the car will offer her a ride, she can lean toward wishing they'd stop since her feet are in agony, but breathe a sigh of relief as she watches the tail lights fade away.

I think this will be great with a little more tweaking!

bookshop said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent submission. I regret that I am unable to offer you representation at this time. I wish you luck in your search for representation.

Regards,

Bookshop

P.S. Why no word count?

_______________


(Hi!

I know that you see this done a lot in queries, but that don't make it right: do not tell us what the novel is like, or what it is NOT like, or how we will feel about it when we read it. As you can see from lots of the other responses, it just creates so much resentment among us as readers - and that feeling that the query is "didactic" is a result.

Resist the urge to cram your own writing into a box, as much as you can. You can't predict what we'll get out of your story. I may read the first page and think of, say, Twilight; someone else may read it and think of every Lindsay Lohan movie ever, like that one where her mom remarries and she beats up all over Cary Elwes. Point being, let us make that decision - it'll be more fun for us, and that's what you want, ultimately.

This could be a good story, but right now I'm not seeing a plot so much as I'm hearing Message. As someone who has very closely with rebellious teenagers on a daily basis, I have to say that focusing on a message isn't going to win over many teenage fans.

A good YA agent will know this and react accordingly. So this line specifically - "Together, they realize the shallowness of their past relationships and the loneliness of ignoring your true self in order to be popular." - will not win teens or your agents over. Teens, even the drug-using ones, need to see themselves reflected in the books they read. Then, once you've hooked them with a character voice they can relate to, you can maybe teach them about life. But the hook has to come first.

So maybe, instead of telling us how Ellie grows up at the end of the book, you can show us more of who she is at the beginning. What does she want? I know her love interest wants to quit partying, but what about her?

Even in your sample page, I don't get a sense of *her* so much as what she's doing. Her actions are described in very step-by-step linear moments, like someone's holding a zoom lens and walking beside her. It could be really effective if you tightened up the narrative, but mostly I have a page of her walking around and talking about another character who's left, without giving me much emotional sense of how she feels about said character, or her life, or even what she's doing or where she's going. Is she trying to run away?

Plunge me into action in your sample pages, and plunge me into character and conflict in your query. Let everything else, the message and the social concerns, speak for themselves when we request partials.

Good luck!)

Agent KES said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I am not able to offer you representation at this time. Best of luck,

Agent KES

Annalee said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your manuscript. I'm afraid it isn't right for me.

Regards,
-Annalee

-----------
Reason: Just didn't grab me. I would consider changing the title: while that one would appeal to parents, I wouldn't have been caught dead with that in my backpack when I was a YA.

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit.

I regret to inform you that at this time I would like to pass on your book.

It had some potential, however I couldn't connect with the characters.

Best of luck in the future,

Regards,
Agent for a Day, Bookworm Megs

Sasha said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the best agent to represent Chasing Chastity.

Good luck and yours truly,
AftD

Comments: I've read that you should begin a query with your *biggest* strength. You've got interesting characters who change completely through the course of your story; the fact that this is your first book isn't your biggest strength :)

Jen C said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to the Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever. I regret that, at this time, your project is not quite what I’m looking for. I wish you the best of luck in your continuing search for representation.
Sincerely,
Jen C.

The Classic Carol said...

Dear Author:
Thanks for your query. For me it did have a feel towards a social agenda; perhaps avoiding mention of what it is 'not' and zeroing in on what it is would produce an improved impression. It is our top priority to select what best matches our agency, and I must decline on CHASING CHASTITY. We wish you success as you pursue an agent better suited to your work.

Kelly Guentner said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the query. I regret to inform you that this is not the right work for me to represent at this time.

I wish you luck in your future writing career.

Sincerely,
Kelly Guentner

Kavanaugh and Byrne's said...

Dear Author

Thank you opportunity to consider your work at Kavanaugh and Byrne’s Literary Agency.

We do not feel that are the best match with this project.
We wish you every success with this and other ventures

Flower Kavanaugh

Tara Ryan said...

Dear Author,
Thank you so much for submitting your work to me. Unfortunately, Chasing Chastity is not a good fit for me at this time. I wish you much luck in your writing endeavors.
Agent-for-a-day

Katie said...

I love this idea. But I agree that your query could sound a tad less preachy. The premise is great by itself. So you don't need to convince us why it's not a social agenda. Just stop after "popular."

And I love your writing, but think you just need a good edit. You could probably cut a lot out - but you have an obvious talent with metaphors and such. I think it has real promise!

Oh! and you should probably not say that you are a "novelist taking her first steps."

Best of Luck! I, for one, think this is a fresh and interesting idea!

StrugglingToMakeIt said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Best,

Agent

(If I had more than five yes votes, I'd probably pick this one. However, the query could be stronger - less talk about what the book is or isn't and more about the book. And so could the sample pages - tighter prose. That's why I'm rejecting this one. I do like it, though.)

ikmar said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. Sorry, but it is not for me.

Sincerely,
Agent for the Day

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

While this project shows merit, I'm afraid it didn't fully resonate with me. I feel sure that another agent will feel differently, and wish you the best of luck.

-Agent Pro Tempore

Disgruntled Bear said...

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately I am going to have to pass at this time.
I wish you the best of luck with another agent.

Sincerely,
Agent

Pap said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jeanne Tomlin said...

Form rejection

Adam Heine said...

Dang. Your writing style is good, and the concept isn't bad, but the query gives me no clue as to what obstacles there are for the protagonists. They go into rehab then they get together. What's the conflict?

I'm sorry, but this isn't right for me. Thank you for submitting and good luck.

Katy said...

Thank you for your submission. However, neither the premise nor sample chapters grabbed my attention, and therefore I am going to pass on this project.
Best of luck,
Katy

Angie Ledbetter said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gregory said...

Dear Author;

Form rejection.

Cordially,

Agent Gregory

[You take pains to point out that the story is moralistic or Christian agenda-driven. Red flags, UNLESS. Unless you turn it around and aim it at a Christian audience. The plot needs development, but your writing has potential. And the Christian audience is massive. Needs work, but that's the direction I might consider for this story. Even in that audience, it has to be redemptive and not moralistic or didactic. There are some good books on plotting. Recommend you consider really working on the plot line, the struggle, and think about writing this for the Christian community.]

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Please send 50 pages according to our submission guidelines. I'm interested.

BelleAgent

Thomas said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not appropriate for my current needs. I wish you luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,
Tally

Melinda said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but unfortunately this project isn't right for me. Best of luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,

Melinda

Meg Trotter said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, however this is not quite right for me.
Best of luck elsewhere,

Megan

Eden said...

Thanks for the opportunity but I'm afraid I'll have to pass on representing this piece.

Best of luck with your writing.

~Eden

CJK said...

Thank you for your query. I am not interested in further materials on this work. Good luck with your search for representation. CJK

Merry Monteleone said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Only Literary Agency Insane Enough To Trust Me With Queries. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pass.

Best of luck,

Merry

Vic K said...

Thank you for submitting to my agency, however I am not able to offer representation at this time.

Regards,
Vic K.

Reason; The didactic approach to this novel wouldn't appeal to me, but possibly may to a different agent.

Amy said...

Dear author,

As I was reading your pages, I was reminded of how incredibly nasty my feet used to get when I went out clubbing, and it made me wonder what other types of clever observations I might appreciate.

Please send pages.

Kind regards,

amyandnick

(PS - I was going to pass until I read the pages, but it looks like something I might enjoy. I think your query could use a bit of work. Good luck.)

Pap said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in my agency. However, I will not be requesting any further materials from you at this time. Please note that submissions are a very subjective business and my comments are not a critique on your writing ability. I strongly encourage you to continue your search for an agent and wish you all the best.

Your sincerely,

Make-believe Agency

MK said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission. After careful consideration, I've decided this manuscript isn't for us at this time.

Good luck with your search.

Best,
Agent For a Day

Mystery Robin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I am not the right agent for this book. Best of luck!

Robin

Sage said...

Dear C.C.,

There were some things I liked about this premise, but in the end I'm going to pass.

Thanks,
sage

Krista said...

Sorry, form rejection.

Selene said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for contacting Selene Literary. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that this project is not right for us. We wish you the best of luck in finding an agent that is as enthusiastic about this book as it deserves.

Best regards,
Selene Da Agent
Selene Literary

Nay said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.
I will have to pass on this project, but best of luck to you.

-Nay

theflightytemptress said...

Dear Chasing Chastity,

Thank you for your submission, but unfortunately it’s not for me. Publishing is a very subjective business, though, and another agent may feel differently. Best of luck on your continued search.

If your story is about the relationship between Ellie and John, then focus on that rather than how they get to that point. I like the description in the excerpt, but there are several grammatical errors and vague generalizations.

Thanks again. :)

Yours,

Kat Brauer

Julie Weathers said...

Dear Author,

There were interesting points in your submission, but I’m afraid I can’t offer representation. This is a subjective business, and what appeals to one reader doesn’t always appeal to another. With my current workload, I have to be very discriminating and take on only projects I am passionate about.

I urge you to continue your quest to be published and wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

J.M. Agent

(I think it might have a market, but it needs work. If it sounds like something you need to apologize for, then make it stronger elsewhere.)

Sol said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the query letter. Unfortunately I am unable to request a partial at this time.

Kind regards,

Sol Nima

Side note: I am unfamiliar with this genre and am not a fair judge of the content, my decision (as pretend agent) stems from the mature content of your overview. As a writer of young adult fiction, you are far more likely to be a better judge and in real life I'll defer to you. Best of luck, S.N.

Annie said...

I'd pass.

Reason: although the query tells me that this isn't a religion-pushing novel, my feeling fromthe plot is that this book is just that.

Jessumby said...

Dear Author

Thank you for sending me your query. I regret to inform you that it does not suit the needs of my list at this time.

Regards, Jessumby

thin said...

Dear Author,
While it seems like an interesting premise for a book, I'm sorry to say that I cannot take on the project. Thank you for considering me, and best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
Thin

RW said...

Dear Author:

Thank you very much for your query. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to consider your work for representation. As you know, it’s a competitive market these days, and I don’t believe I have the right relationships to sell this project successfully. I do wish you luck in finding an agent and thank you for considering me.

Yours truly,

RW

Brigita said...

Thank you for sending me your query. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.

Polenth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. As your story didn't resonate with me, I'm going to have to pass.

--
Polenth

wickerman said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I am passing on Chasing Chastity at this time.

I would suggest you revise your query letter. While your enthusiasm for your project is clear, you do yourself a disservice by pointing out your inexperience and perceived lack of self confidence.

Your sample pages had punctuation errors as well. They need polish.

That said, I applaud your fledgling efforts and encourage your to keep working.

Best of Luck,

The Wickerman

Animal Control Officer, Bransford Lit

Poppy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Your query for CHASING CHASTITY intrigued me and your writing in the sample hooked me in. Please could you send the first three chapters as an attatchment.

Agent

Dara said...

Dear Chastity,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not think I am the right person for this book. I wish you success in your search for representation.

Best,

Dara

Specifics: The query needs a little more crafting and the sample pages didn't really have enough to show me specifics. Overall, it was too vague.

Sooki Scott said...

I wanted to request this one, but due to selection constraints, I could not. However, your voice is poignant and resonates beyond the read. You'll do well with this story.

Deniz Bevan said...

Thank you for your query, but I wouldn't be the right agent in this instance.
I wish you luck finding the right home for your work.
Sincerely,
Ms Agent Agency

EMC07 said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. I like the title, but I am not pulled in by your writing. I will have to pass at this time.

Sincerely,
emc

Soratian said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query but I'm afraid I'll be passing on this one. I wish you the best of luck in your search for an agent.

Regards,
Soratian

(Comments: It's difficult to be sold on a story about two privileged characters, who appear to be rich, good-looking and trying to break their addictions. As readers, we naturally root for underdogs- but for spoilt, rich teens? It's an uphill task! You'll have to show us a glimpse of something we can love to hook us.)

JuJu said...

Dear Author,

Though your project shows some promise and sounds interesting, unfortunately it is just not the right one for me. Please keep in mind that appeal as a novel is entirely subjective – so keep at it!

Sincerely,
JuJu

Jabez said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not believe I am the best agent to represent your manuscript. Best of luck in your quest for publication.

Dale - Las Vegas said...

No thanks

Sarah Laurenson said...

Form rejection.


The line in the query that it's not what it looks like makes me stop and say 'but that's what you made it sound like'. I'd prefer that the first part where you show what the novel is follows what you're telling me the novel is and not the preachy, bang you over the head, moral. And preachy is not good in this genre, in my opinion.

The writing is good and that did tempt me, but it's not quite there yet.

Sherry Ficklin said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for thinking of me, but I'm going to have to pass. Best of luck finding another agent!

Sincerely, Agent Faux

CarrieK said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but your project does not meet our needs at this time.

CarrieK

Kats said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately Chasing Chastity isn't the right project for me.

Best,
Agent for a Day, Kats

educlaytion said...

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not for me. Good luck in the future.

Laurie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I have decided to decline representing you for this manuscript.

I think you have a very compelling story line and you made it to the second round in my consideration, and the only reason I am declining is the mandatory limit of only accepting five manuscripts.

Have you tried querying Rachelle Gardner? This seems like it might be a nice fit for her.

Best of luck to you! I'm sure you will find representation soon.

Laurie

lucy in the sky said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not believe I am the best person to represent your work.

Maricar said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. However, I cannot tell what differentiates your work from other teenage "love and acceptance" novels. Your writing does have potential, so while I will not request a partial at this time, I wish you luck with finding an agent who can work with you.

Tree said...

Dear Author:
I want to thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. Unfortunately, I did not connect well enough with your project to pursue it further. As I'm sure you know, agenting is a very subjective business. Although your project didn't fit with my particular list, another agent may respond very differently.
Please accept my best wishes for success in your writing career and finding the perfect advocate for your work.
Sincerely,
Tree

Janeal C. Falor said...

Thank you for the opportunity to look at you work. Unfortunately, I don't feel this is the right project for me.

Sun Up said...

Pretty decent writing and nice imagery. I'm not really interested in YA unfortunately, but I did like it.


best of luck,
Alicia

Belinda Frisch said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. However, I am not able to offer representation at this time.

Best Wishes,
Belinda

Heather Harper said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. After careful consideration, I regret that I’m unable to request your manuscript at this time.

Best,
Agent for a day

Lipstick Lizzie said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for the chance to look at your work. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m the right agent for this project.

Best of luck,
Lizzie

cwsherwoodedits said...

Thank you for your query. I'm going to have to pass.

Fairduncan said...

Dear Author

Thanks for querying us. I regret I have to pass on this one, but wish you every success in finding representation.

Cordially Yours,
Agent

Joy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission and your interest in using me as an agent. After taking some time to consider your material, I have decided that this isn't right for me.

Best of luck in your writing endeavors,

Joy

Note: Instead of focusing on what your book is not, I'd suggest making the query about what the book is and, excuse the cliche, show, don't tell that you're not going to be preachy. I'd add a note welcoming you to query again with a revised manuscript.

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

I'm going to pass here, mainly because I was looking for more conflict than I saw in the query.

Is there an antagonist? A rebellion?

Best,
Agent

Amethyst Greye Alexander said...

Dear Author,

I've reviewed your query but am afraid your project isn't a good fit with the works I represent. I hope you won't let this discourage you, however, as every agent has different tastes and you're sure to find representation that will better suit your needs.

Thank you for considering me.
Amethyst Adams

Anonymous said...

Form Rejection.

Agent DC

Wandering Spirit said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Unfortunately I am unable to offer you representation at this time. However, all writing is of value and I wish you the best in your endeavours.

Best wishes

Agent for a Day

Savannah Pens said...

Dear Author: Thank you for your query. However, this project is not a good fit for my agency. While I was engaged by your query letter, the first page of your manuscript did not hook me and keep me moving through the page. The character seemed obsessed with her feet. Best wishes. Savannah Pens Agent.

Venus Vaughn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, your project doesn't meet my needs at this time.
Best of luck to you in your writing career.

~Venus Vaughn

lilianamama said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your interest in the "Be An Agent For a Day" contest. Tips on writing query letters: 1. Don't display your lack of experience. If the agent doesn't ask, don't tell them this is your first novel or that you've only published two poems before now. Also, later on you tell us what the novel is not about. Scratch that and just tell us what the novel is about. If you feel it's necessary to reveal the backdrop, fine, but do it differently.
I would rewrite your opening paragraph, starting at "When sixteen-year-old Ellie Matthew's meets John Branson, eighteen, charming, rich, and in need of a new lifestyle," because that's more of where your story starts. From the quote you provided, Ellie's father is already home and she's still sneaking out. See what I'm saying? 3. For the strongest query, show your story's first point of rising tension, arc, resolution and conclusion and if at all possible, how your main characters change throughout the book. 4. Only use the story's major characters. I wish you all the best.

Maryann Miller said...

So sorry, but this is not right for us. Good luck placing it elsewhere.

Horserider said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for allowing us to consider your work. Though the sample pages were well-written and a good start, I’m sorry to say that this is not something we are interested in at this time. We receive hundreds of submissions every week and, unfortunately, cannot take them all on. This is a very subjective business and I wish you luck on your journey to publication.

Sincerely,

Horserider Literary Agency

Mira said...

Dear Author,

I think a story about two out of control teenagers who find each other and choose a better path is an excellent one. It transcends generations and might find an adult audience as well as a teen one.

I'm not requesting a partial however, because it's unclear what adult/teen audience you are trying to reach. Is this book located within the church or not?

Just my opinion, but I believe that using the church as a neutral backdrop really doesn't work well. The church, abstinence, chastity - these are highly charged and emotional and political symbols.

I don't want to discourage you from shopping it to any agent, but you might also want to market this to agents who specifically represent Christian fiction. This book could find a strong advocate there. It might achieve enough success to crossover to a mainstream audience after that.

I imagine that you have written this out of a desire to help youth who may be lost on their path. With that, I wish you all the best!

Mira

Jenn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. While your story sounds interesting, I do not believe it is appropriate for my needs at this time.

Sincerely,
Fake Agent

---Your query was interesting, but I was dissappointed by the writing sample. It just didn't draw me in like I had hoped.

KareFree Kennels said...

Chasing Chastity


Sorry, not for me.

Best of luck,
Sheryl

Lupina said...

Thank you but it's not for me at this time.

The Lupina Agency

Elizabeth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel strongly enough about the work to request any further material.

Best regards,

Agent Elizabeth

Barbara Webb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sharing CHASING CHASTITY, but I'm going to pass.

Best of luck!

Barbara

Lucy said...

Dear Author: Thank you for contacting us. Unfortunately, we do not feel that we are a suitable agency to represent your work. We wish you every success in your search for an agent. Sincerely, L. C.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this project is not a good fit for me. I appreciate your time and consideration, and wish you luck in finding representation.
Best,

Agent M

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Raven56 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying "Agent for a Day" Agency. Unfortunately, we do not feel this story is a good fit for our list at this time. We encourage you to continue querying other agents.

Best of luck,

Raven56

Bekkoni said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submisson. Unfortunately, this is not a good fit for us.

Best wishes,
Bekkoni

Patti K. said...

Thank you for your submission but I do not think that it is right for me at this time. It was a hard decision to make. Please feel free to send queries of your work in the future. I would like to hear more from you. Good luck on your quest for the perfect agent.

Patti K.

RB Ripley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for thinking of me with your recent query, CHASING CHASTITY.

Unfortunately, this project does not resonate with me and I must respectfully decline, though I do hope you’ll continue to consider me for future projects.

Please remember, we are part of a highly subjective industry and I am confident there is an agent out who would best represent your story.

I wish you all the best in your continued efforts. Keep writing!

Sincerely,

Agent For a Day

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