Nathan Bransford, Author


Monday, April 13, 2009

Be An Agent for a Day: Query #15

This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here

Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!



Dear Agent for a Day,

For astrophysicist Allie, falling in love is as easy as identifying the planet Venus. However, keeping her boyfriends from fleeing as though she’s become a Martian is considerably more difficult. In an attempt to ‘act natural’ and protect future relationships from failure caused by her over-eagerness, Allie creates The 15 Date Rule: never sleep with a man until after the 15th date. Suddenly her dating life seems a lot easier, that is, until she meets Matt. THE 15 DATE RULE is a 102,000 word romantic comedy.

All 31-year-old Allie wants is someone to love her. She’s worked hard to have what she has: a nice house, a friendly dog, a good relationship with her long-time best friend and a career that boosts her confidence with awards and prestige. All that is missing from her life is a loving partner who enjoys star gazing.

During the break-up that leads to the creation of the 15 date rule, Allie meets Matt, the man hired by her boyfriend to break up with her. Afterwards Allie can’t stop thinking about Matt and how perfect the kind-hearted man seemed to be. Too bad he would never go for someone he was hired to break up with--like Allie.

When one of Allie’s work contracts sours unexpectedly and she faces losing everything she’s worked for, she decides it is time to take risks. Maybe pursuing a man like Matt is worth the chance of rejection.

While attending the University of Lethbridge, where I graduated with distinction, I wrote entertainment articles for the university's newspaper, garnering several contribution awards. I currently serve as literary agent and author chat moderator as well as a mentor and critiquer at www.agentquery.com. I am a member of RWA and have a website and blog at [redacted].

Author

STATS: 8% request rate






325 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 325   Newer›   Newest»
ai-hua said...

Nathan, you might want to redact that website URL.

Sounded great until the query repeated itself. Not a romance agent, but would pass it on to someone else. Reject.

hannah said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but I'm afraid this isn't right for me at this time.

Best,
hannah

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, it's not right for me.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

[Reasons: Mars/Venus analogy = UGH; unoriginal premise; nothing to make it stand out in the market. Rejected with prejudice.]

Frankie Anon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your book isn't right for me. Agenting is subjective, though, and I wish you the best of luck!

Sincerely,
Megan

lesleylsmith said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter.
Unfortunately, your novel is not a good fit for me.
Good luck!
-Lesley
p.s. The premise here is promising, but the writing is too awkward and repetitive.

Derek said...

Dear Author,

This isn't for me, but you might try Harlequin. Best of luck for your future endeavors.

Agent For A Day.

Bane of Anubis said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for submitting your story, but it's not for me. Best of luck,

Bane

(reasoning: not my AOI and the premise seems a bit flat, though again, not my AOI, so I could be wrong).

PurpleClover said...

Dear Author:

I don't feel the book is right for today's market. Thanks for thinking of me.

Regards,
PC

scj said...

Sorry, but not for me. I love the concept and the idea, but your query sounds too generic and repetitive (ie, info from the first paragraph is repeated in the following ones and therefore unnecessary); I worry that the manuscript may need editing as well. A writing group may help you strengthen both your query and manuscript. Best of luck.

Sophie W. said...

Dear Author of The 15 Date Rule,

Although your work shows merit, I cannot request further materials at this time. Keep in mind that this business is terribly subjective, and you'll probably get the chance to thumb your nose at me in the future.

Love,

Sophie

JuJu said...

Dear Author,

Though your work is promising, the writing just isn't appealing to me, I'm afraid I will have to pass.

Best wishes,

JuJu

David said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your project doesn't sound right for me.

Sincerely,
David

Matilda McCloud said...

Thanks for your query. I'm afraid I'll have to pass on this one.

Keep writing!

With my very best regards,

Matilda McCloud

Scott said...

Dear Author,

Nice ideas, but sadly I don't see enough strength in your query to request a partial.

Good luck and keep writing,

Scott


(reason): the fact that Allie is an astrophysicist doesn't seem to factor at all in the story. She could easily be a florist, and it wouldn't matter to the core conceit of the 15 date rule, which in itself seemed to need a bit more meat to carry a plot.

In the end, it felt like your basic romance novel with arbitrary elements thrown in that didn't feel like they had any bearing on the plot outside of their individual uniqueness. A man hired to break up with a woman seems like the story here, and would have got my attention much more.

Owl Sprite said...

Dear Author,

Thank you very much for sending me the query for your book "The 15th Date Rule." Unfortunately, it doesn't meet my needs at this time.

Best wishes and keep writing!

Megan said...

Dear Author,

While I found much about your project that was interesting, I was unable to get a good sense of your story from your query. Unfortunately, I will have to pass at this time, but I encourage you to sharpen up your query and try again.

Best,

Meg Spencer

Keri Ford said...

Thank you for submitting, but unfortunately I didn’t connect with this story idea.

Good Luck,
Keri

<><><><><><>
Focus more on the 15 date rule and how that causes conflict. When you started, I was thinking it would be a cute romantic comedy where they go on all these dates, but as I read, I didn't get that feeling at all from the query.

Get a focus on what the basic bottom element on your story is and surround your pitch with that.

EJ Lange said...

Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, this is not right for me at this time. Good luck in your search for representation.

Agent Erin

kdrausin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for requesting my representation. I applaud your determination and effort in completing your novel. Your story is not right for me at this time; however I encourage you to keep writing and pursuing excellence in your craft.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

Warm Regards, KDrausin

Thomas said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not appropriate for my current needs. I wish you luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,
Tally

jimnduncan said...

Thank you for your query, but I'm afraid I must pass on your story. Best of luck in your continued writing endeavors.

(Reason: this sounds too familiar with what is out there these days)

DCS said...

I'm sorry, but I wasn't able to extract enough conflict in the story as presented to hold my interest. I will pass.

Chanelley said...

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not what I’m looking for at this time. However, do continue to query widely. After all, it does only take one agent to say yes!
All the best,
Agent for the day

Cat Hellisen said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query.  Your proposal is interesting, but I don't feel that the project is quite right for me. I wish you the best of luck in finding representation elsewhere.

Best,
Cat.

Rick Daley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Authors Write Literary Agency. I have reviewed your query for THE 15 DATE RULE, and I’m sorry to say that I do not feel that I am the best agent to represent your work at this time.

Please keep in mind that there are many talented agents out there, and opinions are subjective based on individual preferences, workload, and market climate.

Don’t be afraid to research other agents and query those that you feel are best suited to represent your work. Best of luck!

Regards,

Daley Agent for a Day

Onovello said...

Dear Author:

Many thanks for your query. While I'm not sufficiently enthusiastic about this project to request it, I know another agent will feel differently.

With all best wishes for your success in finding representation for your work,

Onovello

DeadlyAccurate said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your query and I apologize for this form reply.

I regret I have to pass on many interesting projects due to time constraints. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.


Sincerely,

DeadlyAccurate

(While the writing is strong, the protagonist sounds weak (and dare I say, pathetic?) and I'm not sure I could like a romantic hero who is hired by a boyfriend to break up with the girl).

Superfast said...

Thank you so much for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't feel I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Good luck and keep writing!

TheDivaAgent said...

Dear Author,

This is my desk. My desk, my rules.

Rule 1: Astrophysicists don't fall in love easily. Once you've seen a heavenly body, what on earth could compare?

Rule 2: Men are from Mars. Presumably, they wouldn't mind a woman from Mars. It would save that long flight to Venus.

Rule 3: I'm a woman. I like women's fiction. I do not like 102,000 word romantic comedies. Read Shopaholic. Not 102,000 words.

Rule 4: Silly does not equal funny.

Rule 5: Astrophysicists are not funny.

Rule: 6: A kind-hearted man would not agree to break up with another man's girlfriend. That's weird-hearted.

Rule 7: Allie sounds like a hormone-driven college boy.

Rule 8: Romance is about female fantasy, not male fantasy. I don't fantasize about pursuing kind-hearted males. How dull. I might pursue a Super Model, like Tyson Beckford (see previous query rejections).

Rule 9: Allie is too old to waste her time with her head in the stars and her brain full of air.

Rule 10: Rules are boring.

Please do not even consider sending me a query which breaks my rules. I haven't the time for it. I'm too busy pursuing a fantasy life where handsome, passionate hunks pursue ME. They chase me round an Italian piazza, their arms full of flowers, Tiffany's boxes, champagne, and other such stuff of romance. I pity Allie.

The Diva Agent

Karen said...

(Nathan, is it REALLY like this EVERY DAY???)

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I am going to have to pass at this time. Your premise sounds like a fun read and I am sure that you will be well represented by another agent.

Best of luck.
Karen

quixotic said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, however, I do not feel excited enough about this story to request anything further.

Good luck in your search for an agent.

Quixotic

KC in SF said...

Thank you for your query but I do not represent romance.

best wishes,

KC in SF

brian_ohio said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best,

Brian

Nixy Valentine said...

Dear Author:

I'm sorry, but this isn't right for me.

Notes: This one is a near miss for me. It actually might be a very charming novel, but it seems long for something that feels very light, based on your description.

Your query letter is very well written, and my rejection comes only because mean Nathan has said we can only request 5.

As a side note, I think you could lose the 2nd and 3rd paragraph of the query without losing anything. You gave a good description in your first paragraph, and then tie it up well with a hook in para #4.

Good luck! I have a feeling I might regret saying no to this one.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author:

Thank you, but this just isn't right for me.

Agent99

Reasons: Contrived plot, no sense of voice or character.

Jeni said...

Dear 15 Dates,
Thank you for your query. I sincerely appreciate the opportunity to review your proposal, and found the premise for your manuscript intriguing. However, I’m afraid that the manuscript does not meet my needs at this time. Please do continue to send your work to other agents, as someone else may feel differently.
Best of luck in your publishing endeavors,
Jeni

jjdebenedictis said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent query; discovering new talent is one of the joys of being a literary agent, and I am always honoured to have the opportunity to read a writer's best work.

Please accept my regrets, however, as I won't be offering to represent this novel. I apologize for informing you of this using a form letter, but the volume of mail I receive makes it impractical for me to give personalized rejections.

I wish you the very best luck in finding a literary agent whose enthusiasm will bring your book the success it deserves!

Sincerely,
J. J. DeGoblin

~~~~~~~
For your reference, here are the most common reasons why I decline certain queries. Please note that if your submission was very good, my reasons for rejecting it were probably much subtler than the items on this list and cannot be put quickly into words. Again, I apologize for this form letter, but I cannot invest the time to critique those submissions I have chosen to not represent. Thank you for your understanding.


Most common reasons why I decline manuscripts:

[ ]--The manuscript is in a genre which I don't represent

[ ]--The query appears to be a non-personalized mass mailing

[ ]--The query/manuscript's presentation was worryingly unpolished
(E.g. Many spelling, grammar, punctuation or homophone errors; a non-standard format)

[ ]--The writing doesn't seem polished enough
(This improves with practice; your next novel may be excellent)

[ X ]--The plot doesn't sound compelling enough
(Again, this improves with practice and self-education)

[ ]--The plot sounds too similar to something book-buyers have already seen


Comments, if any:
This might be a great story, but your query focuses on the set-up and doesn't tell me what happens after Allie makes her decision to pursue Mark. Maybe rework the letter and query me again? I do like the sound of this premise. :-)

kdrausin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for requesting my representation. I applaud your determination and effort in completing your novel. Your story is not right for me at this time; however I encourage you to keep writing and pursuing excellence in your craft.

I wish you the best of luck on your journey.

Sincerely,

KDrausin

David de Beer said...

Dear Author,

I'm going to pass this time as I don't think it's right for me. Thank you for your interest,

Sincerely,
David de Beer

PPP said...

Dear Author,

A few too many words in that count for me. Also, it's hard to see why a a woman would fall in love with a guy who accepted a job as a breaker-upper.

If you pare down the story and play up the better traits of the love interest, this might work. Best of luck.

Signed,
PPP

bridge said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, unfortunately I don't feel this work is right for me.

Sincerely,
Bridge
On a personal note, the premise was cute and funny and might be something Harlequin would like, however the query is a bit redundant and while there are flashes of fun and I could see parts that were intriguing and made me feel I would enjoy reading the book, those were bogged down with details that could be taken care of in the synopsis and don't necessarily need to be in the query. Just give a little bit of info, the 15 date rule, maybe the second paragraph and leave it hanging a bit for them to request more. Hope this helps.

Deaf Indian Muslim Anarchist! said...

wow... regarding Diva Agent, I would urge the author to NOT listen to that person. You write what you want, make your own rules and ignore her so-called "advice." Be true to yourself.

Lucy Ammunition said...

Dear Author,
Sounds like fun and a good read, but I don't rep Romance novels.

Thanks for thinking of me.

Sincerely,

Lucy Ammunition
Fictitious Agent

Shawntelle said...

Dear Author,

Interesting premise, for your book, THE 15 DATE RULE, but I'm afraid this isn't the type of book I am interested in representing right now. Good luck in your pursuit of representation.

Sincerely,

Shawntelle

Laurie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. While your premise sounds intriguing, I'm going to have to pass at this time.

All the best,
Laurie

terri said...

Thank you for your query. It isn't right for me. However, with the popularity of romance novels, I believe you will find the right representation.

A few observations:

1. 102,000 is too long for most romance publishers. Look to see if there is a way to distill the core of your story down to no more than [insert typical Harlequinn length here]

2. Focus your query on the core of the story. Why should she abandon the 15-date rule for this guy [who sounds like a slug for colluding with ex-boyfriend]

3. I assume new guy is going to reciprocate at some point and feel like a schmuck for colluding with ex-boyfriend. Is this part of the plot?

See, you got me thinking, so you do have the potential for a good story here. Concentrate on that!

Sincerely: Agent

Josephine Damian said...

Kinda like the way the query was written.

I'd request a partial.

suki said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me. I wish you luck in your search for representation.

Regards,
Suki


Reasoning: It didn't hook me. A little too cutesy, and from the query I suspect the manuscript could do with further tightening and revision. I also question the set up, more than the story - the 15 date rule feels like a gimmick, that could be overshadowing plot.

Anonymous said...

the query would be improved if the story wasn;t introduced twice. But it does sound like good commercial fiction someone could sell. Not me though, cus I just don;t like this genre.

So:

Dear Author,
Your manuscript is just not right for me. Thanks for querying.
sincerely,
moniza

Lisa R said...

Dear The 15 Date Rule:

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately the project is not right for me. Another agent may feel differently. Best of luck.

Lisa $

ccallicotte4 said...

Thank you for sending me your query. I appreciate you considering me.

I reviewed your proposal and unfortunately am going to pass on representing it. Please keep in mind that this is a subjective business, and another agent may feel differently. I encourage you to query widely.

Best of luck to you.

romoak said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. While aspects of this story are intriguing, this story is not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your continued efforts. Please keep in mind that other agents are different.

-- This did sound interesting, but it didn't hook me. I think there's too much redundancy - the first para sums up most of the plot, then it goes on to repeat some of the same info in later para's.

selestial-owg said...

(Ack, comment didn't post)

Dear Author,

While your premise was intriguing, I'm afraid I have to pass. This is a very subjective business, and I wish you the best.

Selestial



I was sold in the first paragraph - it was funny. Then the blurb backtracked and repeated - and was less funny. Since I don't really read much romance, that was enough to make me say no. Also, I'm not sure romantic comedy is a literary genre. Movies yes, but I've never heard a book referred to that way.

Dara said...

Dear The 15 Date Rule,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not think I am the right person for this book. I wish you success in your search for representation.

Best,

Dara

Specifics: The conflict didn't seem to be strong enough. I think it would be better if re-focused a little.

Kitti said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I regret to inform you that I am going to have to pass on this, but please keep me in mind for your future projects.

Best of luck,
Kitti

Jenn Johansson said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I'm afraid this isn't right for me. The query became repetitive.

Best of luck!
JR

Christine Rose said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

Gryph said...

Dear Author,

Thank you very much for your query. While I appreciate the time and effort you've put into your work, I don't believe this is a good fit for me.

Please remember that what doesn't fit one agent may well fit another! I encourage you to not give up. In the future, if you have other manuscripts to query, I hope that you'll think of me again.

Sincerely,

Agent Gryph

(It almost had me, though. Were I not limited to five requests for the competition, I might have asked for a partial.)

Bija Andrew Wright said...

It's a cute idea, but not quite developed enough to interest me. Best of luck.

Caroline said...

Dear Author:

The story sounds interesting, but there wasn't anything unique enough to draw me in and make me want to keep reading.

Best of luck,

Agent Caroline

AgentMan said...

An interesting query, but not a genre that interests me. Best of luck.

AgentMan

Melissa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sending me your query, but I don't think I'm the right agent for the book. Best of luck.

Melissa


Thoughts: If I were an agent, I wouldn't take romance proposals because I'm not familiar enough with the genre. The query has a nice style but needs tightening. The fact that the love object is the guy hired to break up with the main character seems a little contrived, but maybe this works in romantic comedy. I don't know.

Harsh Critic said...

The manuscript might be quite fun and charming, but the query letter seemed somewhat disorganized-- spending a lot of time on the 15 date rule, then going to an ex-boyfriend who hires someone to do his bidding, etc. If I weren't restricted to 5 requests, I would request this manuscript.

Sorry.

beth said...

Dear Author,

Although I appreciate your submission, I'm sorry but it just isn't for me. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.

Sincerely,
beth

(Reasoning: The first two paragraphs were basically the same. Also: I don't get much into this genre, so for me to be attracted to it, I'd have to have something REALLY different.)

:)Ash said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your interest in my agency. Unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for you at this time. Best wishes as you continue your search.

Sincerely yours,

:)Ash

reader said...

I don't represent romance but best of luck as you query other agents.

Eva Ulian said...

For lovers of Romance, this has promise, but it really does need some spicing up with a bit of excitement somewhere.

Ulysses said...

Thanks for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I don't feel I am the agent to represent this work.

sirayn said...

Dear X,

Thank you for your query. I’m afraid I have to pass, but I wish you luck in finding an agent who’s passionate about your work.

Today’s Agent

(Reasoning: query seems chronologically confused. 1st paragraph states that Allie creates rule, THEN her dating life becomes easier, THEN she meets Matt. 3rd paragraph states that Allie meets Matt DURING breakup w/ boyfriend, which is BEFORE she creates the rule. Totally lost. I'm struggling to imagine how I could sympathise with a hero who was "hired to break up with" her by her ex. What? How? What a jerk!)

Casey said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your time and consideration. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent THE 15 DATE RULE.

The premise is interesting but I'm not interested enough to request. I perked up when I read that her ex hired someone to break up with her. Maybe put more focus on that.

Best wishes,

Casey

K. Andrew Smith said...

Dear author,

Thank you for your submission, The 15 Date Rule. Unfortunately, it's not quite right for me. I wish you good fortune in your quest for an agent.

Sincerely,

K. Andrew Smith

lilianamama said...

Dear Author:

You clearly have ability and I'm intrigued, but confused. You seem to have two different query letters here. If it's an accident, I'd want to see a re-written query before I'd say yes or no. If you didn't know which paragraph to "go with", I'd take out your second paragraph entirely, rework what the 15-date rule is into your third paragraph and fly with your revised last three paragraphs. Just my .02 worth.

I wish you well.

John said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for giving me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, it's not something I think I can sell at present. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.

Chrissy said...

Dear Author,

please send the first 30 pages of your completed manuscript, in word format, to agent@agent.com

kiki

The Classic Carol said...

Thanks for your query. It is our top priority to select what best matches our agency. We wish you success as you pursue an agent better suited to your work.

Don said...

[form rejection]

Cat said...

Dear Author,

thank you for submitting but it's not right for me.

Sincerely,
Cat

this is a well written query and I think that the story is probably great. The query shows well that the author can write. For me it's still a form rejection because I do not like romance. Sorry.

Laura said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but the subject is not a good fit for me.

Best of luck,

Agent Laura

p.s. I think your first paragraph tells the whole story, so maybe cut down on the repeated info. Good luck!

sraasch said...

Dear Author,

I was on board until I got to the word count. Sorry!

Thanks!
Sara

Belinda Frisch said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. However, I am not able to offer representation at this time.

Best Wishes,
Belinda

Rick said...

Author-

Sorry, but I don't represent ROmance/Comedy.

If you have not already, you may want to check out AgentQuery. It can help you find an Agent who best suits your needs.

http://www.agentquery.com/

Sincerely,
Rick O

Colorado Writer said...

Dear Author,
I'd be delighted to read the mansucript for THE 15 DATE RULE. Please send via email. I look forward to reading your work.
Best,
Agent Name

Craven said...

This was a close call for me. You have a clear strong voice to your wiriting that's very engaging. However, having your heroine seriously consider a relationship to stabilize her during a time of turmoil doesn't read as a strong independent character I can empathize with.

Thank you for consideration, but this isn't right for me at this time. Please query me again if you can rework the direction of the story.

Best of luck, Craven

Moth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query to Moth's Literary Agency. While your story sounds interesting, I'm afraid it's just not right for us. Best of luck in your writing career.

Sincerely,
Moth

Ethan Rose said...

Sounds interesting but I will have to pass. It sounds like you started your letter over with the second paragraph. Why does an agent need an agent?

Cindy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately this project is not right for me.

All the best,
Cindy

Madison said...

Dear Author,

Thank you so much for submitting your work and considering me to represent it. While the story sounds quite interesting, I am afraid it does not fit my list at this point in time and I must regretfully pass. I know rejections can be hard to take, but please keep submitting and following your dream.

Best of luck in your agent hunt!

Sincerely,

Madison

Reason for rejection: Sounds too much like the movie How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days. Lacks orginality.

Lois Lavrisa said...

Dear Author,

While I appreciate your consideration of our agency, I will have to pass on your project.

I am sorry to say I did not have the passionate response to it that I would need to request more or offer you representation.

Obviously you want an agent who will stand enthusiastically behind your work.

Additionally, given today’s publishing climate I do not believe I would be able to get you the attention from a publisher that your book deserves.

Publishing is very subjective, though, and another agent may well feel differently.

I do wish you success in finding representation and, once again, thank you for the opportunity to consider your work.

Sincerely,

Lois Lavrisa
Agent for a day

Anonymous said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your recent letter concerning your work. I am afraid that we are not enthusiastic enough about your work to pursue it further.

We wish you the best of luck in finding suitable representation.

Sincerely
The Fake Agency

Steve Axelrod said...

Not for me, but good luck with it.elyr

The Writers Canvas said...

Thanks for your query, but it's not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your writing endeavors!

Elaine

(I'd recommend starting with your second paragraph--that one is more of an attention getter.)

Ramen with cheese said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for allowing RJM Agency to consider your work, but I’m afraid it’s not a good fit for our list. We wish you every bit of luck in your search for representation.

RJM

dhole said...

Dear Author, thanks for your query. Unfortunately, it's not right for my list, best of luck, etc.

Hilabeans said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. I regret to say that I don’t feel that I’m the most appropriate agent for this project.

Best wishes,

HHS

Nik said...

Thank you for your submission. Please send me the first 50 pages.

Notes: I read a Harlequin Blaze once about a 3 date rule and I loved it. I would maybe suggest for the sake of the query letter that you consider cutting the last 2 summary paragraphs. I'm not certain, they're fully needed as I was intrigued after the first paragraph. Maybe take the key elements like why they aren't a good match to include in that summary because it shows the conflict, but condense some.

Cat Moleski said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, unfortunately, I must pass on your project at this time.

Cat

Barb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.

All the best,
Barb

Kristi said...

Thank you for your query. I don't feel this is quite right for me but I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,
Kristi

Vicky said...

Dear Author,

Thank you querying regarding THE 15 DATE RULE. While the concept initially intrigued me, the catalyst for the heroine's decision to institute the 15 date rule is unclear as presented in the query. For example, the reason why the ex-boyfriend hired a man to break up with her is never explained. The conflict seems insufficient to sustain a single title romantic comedy. Again, I like the premise, but unfortunately, I must pass based on the query. All best.

(Note to author: You may have executed better in the actual story than in the query. The premise is intriguing, so I urge you to tighten up the query. And make sure the manuscript delivers on the promise. Good luck!)

Cassandra said...

Dear Author,

I'm afraid that at this time I am unable to offer representation for your novel. This is purely a business decision, and unfortunately means that we must turn away many talented individuals. I encourage you to continue querying agents you think might be interested.

I appreciate your interest in Agent for A Day, and wish you every success in your writing career.



Regards,
Cassandra

super agent nicole said...

Dear author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query to me. Unfortunately, I am unable to offer representation at this time. When first reading your query, I was immediately drawn in by the first paragraph. It sounded like a fun chic lit book. However, the repetition in the following paragraphs, as well as the many subplots that seem to run together, turned me off. Please keep in mind that this is entirely subjective and you will likely have better luck at other agencies.

Thank you and good luck,
Nicole

Tryst888 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query but I'm afraid I will have to pass on this one. Best of luck to you in your future endeavors.

Monika said...

Thank you for your submission, but I do not think this project is right us. This is a subjective business and other agencies will feel differently. We wish you every success with your project.

[I love the plot and think it could work great as a romantic comedy. I just feel the query can benefit with a little more detail about her normal life and about this dream man of hers, other than "he can't possibly be interested in her."]

Miss Lily said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for allowing me to read this query, but it's not right for me. Best of luck, and please keep me in mind for future projects.

Lily

Reason: 102,000 words. What's with the high word counts and not being epic fantasy guys? I don't think I could stomach that long of a romance, and I'm a girl who reads them occassionally.

bookshop said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent submission to our agency. While your premise shows charm, I feel that in its current inception, this work is not right for me. I would be keenly interested to see a story that focused on the circumstances under which a man might hire himself out as a "breaker-upper," and the context in which a girl might knowingly hang around someone being paid to dump her. Should you rework this novel with a focus on that important and intriguing conflict, I feel you would have a much stronger and more intriguing story to tell.

While our agency is not the best fit for this particular project at this time, other agents may feel differently. I wish you luck in your search for representation. Should you choose to make revisions, please feel free to query me again at a later date.

Regards,

Bookshop

_________


(Hi! In this case as the responding agent above, I wanted to state suggestions for revisions in the response to you, although I haven't been doing that. Am I completely crazy, or did this query also turn up on Query Shark? I don't think I am crazy; I *do* think this query has come a long way since last time I saw it, much much much improved, so much as to be nearly unrecognizable.

To be totally honest? Dude, seriously, screw 15 days. Tell me why on earth a) her ex boyfriend would be invested enough to hire someone to break up with her; b) this guy matt thinks "breaker-upper" would be a resume-booster, and c) what the hell she's letting him do it to her for. I can't even imagine how that all plays out. Tell me so in the query, please, because as an agent, I'd be yawning at 15 rules for 50 first dates in 10 days to lose a guy in 21 dresses on 2 weeks' notice. But I sat up and went "woah say WHAT?" at the offhand mention of the breaker-upper.

The reason it wasn't a page-requesting "woah" (for which I would actually pause and go don sunglasses, a trench coat, and a gravelly monotone) is because your query still doesn't seem in control of its plot elements. You need to streamline and consolidate all the things going on in it; otherwise it's just going to be a mess of loosely connected facts that don't really follow one another logically.

Ask yourself if each thing in your query can logically answer the question "and then what?" If not, then you may be bringing in too much information. Just focus on the core of the plot: who Allie is, what she wants, and what's at stake if she fails to get it.

Good luck!

P.S. - We're none of us ever too old to waste her time with our heads in the stars, and it's the thing I liked best about Allie. ♥ )

Chuck H. said...

Dear Author,

Sorry to say this didn't grab me. Good luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,

Chuck

(No particular reason for rejection. Just seemed too familiar. Like I said, didn't grab me.)

Dawn G. said...

Dear Author,

Unfortunately, I am unable to offer you representation at this time. Thank you for submitting your work for consideration. Please keep me in mind for future projects.

Kindest Regards,

D. Agent

Heather said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but it's not for me.

Good luck!
Heather

Yeah, this feels like two queries in one. I think you could cut the first paragraph entirely.

Jean said...

There's something here that appeals to me. I'd like to see the first three chapters. Please email them to me as a .doc attachment with "You asked for it" as the subject line.

KathyF said...

Dear Author of Query #15,

Thank you for your query, but THE 15 DATE RULE isn't right for me.

KathyF

SammyStewart said...

Form Rejection

Gwen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest. Unfortunately, this project is not a good fit for me at the present time.

Regards,

Gwen

***

(Side note: the pitch sounded favourable, but was then reiterated a second time, and as queries ought to be succinct and to-the-point, I must pass.)

Dana said...

Dear Author,

Thank yor for your query. Unfortunately I am not interested in representing this novel.

Regards,

Dana

reasons: The writing lumbered a bit and I wasn't really interested in the plot line. Could be cute, but not my cup of tea.

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit.

I regret to inform you that at this time I would like to pass on your book.

Although it sounds like it has some potential, I can't really connect with the characters; nor do I find myself wanting to know more. It seems too common.

Best of luck in the future,

Regards,
Agent for a Day, Bookworm Megs

Agent KES said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I am not able to offer you representation at this time. Best of luck,

Agent KES

Melina said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but it's not what I'm looking for right now.

Good luck,

Melina

Kavanaugh and Byrne's LA said...

Dear Author

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to consider your work at Kavanaugh and Byrne’s Literary Agency.

We do not feel that are the best match with this project.
We wish you every success with this and other ventures

Flower Kavanaugh

Horserider said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for allowing us to consider your work. I’m sorry to say that this is not something we are interested in at this time. We receive hundreds of submissions every week and, unfortunately, cannot take them all on. This is a very subjective business and I wish you luck on your journey to publication.

Sincerely,

Horserider Literary Agency

Kelly Guentner said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the query. I regret to inform you that this is not the right work for me to represent at this time.

I wish you luck in your future writing career.

Sincerely,
Kelly Guentner

Jen C said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to the Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever. I regret that, at this time, your project is not quite what I’m looking for. I wish you the best of luck in your continuing search for representation.
Sincerely,
Jen C.

StrugglingToMakeIt said...

Dear The 15 Date Rule,

You have captured my interest with your query. Please send me the first three chapters of your manuscript and a synopsis as an email attachment.

Thank You,

Agent

ikmar said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. Sorry, but it is not for me.

Sincerely,
Agent for the Day

Disgruntled Bear said...

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately I am going to have to pass at this time.
I wish you the best of luck with another agent.

Sincerely,
Agent

Sasha said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Your writing is articulate, your narrative voice engaging, and your premise sounds fun. Though I don't think I'm the best person to represent your work, I am confident your agent search will soon be fruitful.

Yours truly,
AftD

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

While this project shows merit, I'm afraid it didn't fully resonate with me. I feel sure that another agent will feel differently, and wish you the best of luck.

-Agent Pro Tempore

Gregory said...

Dear Author;

Form rejection.

Cordially,

Agent Gregory

[Several issues here. Allie is inconsistent with the astrophysicist idea, even if it's somehow based on a true story. And few astrophysicists "star gaze." And the "hired to break up" premise is, well, strange. What kind of guy would do that, and why? His twisted story might be more interesting than Allie's!]

Endless Secrets said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, unfortunately I am not the proper agent for your agea of work, but I encourage you to persure other agents.

Best of luck.

-Lea

Adam Heine said...

This sounds interesting, but I want to know why the 15-date rule complicates things more than a regular romance. That is, what makes this romantic comedy different from all the others.

I'm sorry, but this doesn't sound right for me. Thank you for submitting.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Please send 50 pages according to our submission guidelines. I'm interested in seeing some of 15 Date Rule despite the saggy query.

BelleAgent

Tara Ryan said...

Dear Author,
Please send me the first 50 pages of the manuscript.
Agent-for-a-day

Melinda said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but unfortunately this project isn't right for me. Best of luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,

Melinda

P.S. Could be a cute story, but I don't have a clear sense of the plot. I think the query would be stronger if you showed how the "15-date rule" fits into her problems with Matt.

Jeanne Tomlin said...

Form rejection

Meg Trotter said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately I will have to pass, as the story doesn't seem quite right for me.
Best of luck elsewhere,

Megan

Katy said...

Thank you for your submission. However, your project is not what I am looking for at this time.
Best of luck,
Katy

CJK said...

Thank you for your query. I am not interested in further materials on this work. Good luck with your search for representation. CJK

Eden said...

Thanks for the opportunity but I'm afraid I'll have to pass on representing this piece.

Best of luck with your writing.

~Eden

Leslie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission and plot line. At his time, I would not be able to represent your book. I wish you all the best in your writing career.

Best wishes, Leslie

Soratian said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query but I'm afraid I'll be passing on this.

Your story concept seems suitable for chick-lit or commercial women's fiction, but I'm not sure that you've written it with the right treatment. Judging from the word count alone, it's too long for your plot and for this genre.

Suggest you rework your manuscript with the branding in mind, and pitch it to the right agent for this work.

Good luck!
Soratian

Polenth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. As your story didn't resonate with me, I'm going to have to pass.

--
Polenth

Pap said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in my agency. However, I will not be requesting any further materials from you at this time. Please note that submissions are a very subjective business and my comments are not a critique on your writing ability. I strongly encourage you to continue your search for an agent and wish you all the best.

Your sincerely,

Make-believe Agency

Renee Collins said...

Dear 15 Date Rule,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, the story does not seem quite right for me.

Best of luck,

Renee

MK said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission. After careful consideration, I've decided this manuscript isn't for us at this time.

Good luck with your search.

Best,
Agent For a Day

Mystery Robin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I am not the right agent for this book. Best of luck!

Robin

Sage said...

Dear 15 Date Rule,

The novel sounds promising, but I don't feel it will stand out enough in the market. Another agent may feel differently.

Thanks,
Sage

Selene said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for contacting Selene Literary. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that this project is not right for us. We wish you the best of luck in finding an agent that is as enthusiastic about this book as it deserves.

Best regards,
Selene Da Agent
Selene Literary

Julie Weathers said...

Dear Author,

There were interesting points in your submission, but I’m afraid I can’t offer representation. This is a subjective business, and what appeals to one reader doesn’t always appeal to another. With my current workload, I have to be very discriminating and take on only projects I am passionate about.

I urge you to continue your quest to be published and wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

J.M. Agent


(I love this kind of silly fun, but it just seemed too similar to HOW TO LOSE A MAN IN 10 DAYS. I think that's the name of the movie. If not for that, I probably would have pounced. You have some repetition problems, but I am not an ogre.)

Nay said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.
I will have to pass on this project, but best of luck to you.

-Nay

theflightytemptress said...

Dear The 15 Date Rule,

Thank you for your submission, but unfortunately it’s not for me. Publishing is a very subjective business, though, and another agent may feel differently. Best of luck on your continued search.

Liked the first paragraph, but then you started repeating yourself and the writing regressed.

Yours,

Kat Brauer

Joy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission and your interest in using me as an agent. After taking some time to consider your material, I have decided that this isn't right for me.

Best of luck in your writing endeavors,

Joy

Reasoning: This was a little harder to pass on. I liked the premise, but got a little confused on the plot in the query. Reminds me of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, so I'd focus more on the unique elements of this plot. It's also unclear if Allie knows that Matt was hired to break up with her.

Annie said...

I'd pass.

Reason: astrophysicist and Venus made me think there was an SF theme to the book, but later on, the whole professional aspect is ignores. I'm confused. What sort of book is this?

Jessumby said...

Dear Author

Thank you for sending me your query. I regret to inform you that it does not suit the needs of my list at this time.

Regards, Jessumby

Sol said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I am unable to request a partial at this time.

I wish you the best in your search for an agent.

Kind regards,

Sol Nima

Brigita said...

Thank you for sending me your query. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.

thin said...

Dear Author,
While it seems like an interesting premise for a book, I'm sorry to say that I cannot take on the project. Thank you for considering me, and best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
Thin

RW said...

Dear Author:

Thank you very much for your query. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to consider your work for representation. As you know, it’s a competitive market these days, and I don’t believe I have the right relationships to sell this project successfully. I do wish you luck in finding an agent and thank you for considering me.

Yours truly,

RW

wickerman said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, however, while The 15 date Rule, sounds like a promising book, I am not currently seeking romance for my list. Thank you again for your interest.

Best of Luck,

The Wickerman

Nathan Bransford's Dishwasher

Poppy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I am afraid that your work is not right for me at this time, however I would urge you to continue to submit to other agents: this is a subjective business.

Agent

Deniz Bevan said...

Thank you for your query, but I wouldn't be the right agent in this instance.
I wish you luck finding the right home for your work.
Sincerely,
Ms Agent Agency

Kats said...

Dear Author,

I read your query with interest and believe your story has promise, but regret to say I'm not the right agent to represent your work.

Best,
Agent for a Day, Kats

Sarah Laurenson said...

For rejection.


I got lost in the sequence of events. Matt sounds like he was really bad at his job of rejecting her. Didn't give me a reason to think he was worth pursuing.

Jabez said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not believe I am the best agent to represent your manuscript. Best of luck in your quest for publication.

Sun Up said...

Dear Author,

I don't really get a feel for the character. And I'm more interested in romance that has a bit of a literary feel to it. I'm not a big fan of contemporary romance.

Good luck though

Alicia

Dale - Las Vegas said...

Thank you for your submission but it doesn't seem right for me at this time.

Good luck in the future.

Melanie K said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submitting THE 15 DATE RULE. Unfortunately I don't feel I am the right agent for you.

Best of luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,

Melanie

REASON/S: It feels like a mashup of the movies Roxanne, Failure to Launch and Someone Like You. That doesn't mean it couldn't work, of course.

I also got the feeling that this was a planted/fake query. Reinforced by the fact that Query #15 was for the book THE 15 DATE RULE. :)

If it was not a plant, I do apologize.

Sherry Ficklin said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for thinking of me, but I'm going to have to pass. Best of luck finding another agent!

Sincerely, Agent Faux

Maricar said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. However, I do not feel that your novel is focused enough for me to request a partial. Best of luck.

lucy in the sky said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not believe I am the best person to represent your work.

Janeal C. Falor said...

Thank you for the opportunity to look at you work. Unfortunately, I don't feel this is the right project for me.

Lipstick Lizzie said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for the chance to look at your work. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m the right agent for this project.

Best of luck,
Lizzie

educlaytion said...

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not for me. Good luck in the future.

Jenn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but unfortunately your story is not for me at this time.

Sincerely,
Fake Agent

I wasn't very interested until the part about Matt being hired to break up with her. If that had been the focus, I would have probably asked for a partial.

Janny said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query letter regarding THE 15 DATE RULE. While some aspects of this story are appealing, I don't believe it's right for me. I wish you luck in placing it elsewhere!

Sincerely,
Janny

cwsherwoodedits said...

Thank you for your query. I'm going to have to pass.

Fawn Neun said...

Thank you for sending in your query for consideration. Please feel free to forward a synopsis and five sample chapters of your ms (including the first one) in .rtf or .doc format to this email address.

I look forward to reading it.

Fawn

Fairduncan said...

Dear Author

Thanks for querying us. I regret I have to pass on this one, but wish you every success in finding representation.

Cordially Yours,
Agent

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

I'm going to pass here, for two reasons. First, I felt like you told the story twice: once in the first paragraph, and again in more detail in the second through fourth.

Second, I didn't get a strong sense of opposition. Maybe it's in the manuscript, but before asking for pages I wanted to know more about what obstacles there were for pursuing Matt.

Best,
Agent

Amethyst Greye Alexander said...

Dear Author,

I've reviewed your query but am afraid your project isn't a good fit with the works I represent. I hope you won't let this discourage you, however, as every agent has different tastes and you're sure to find representation that will better suit your needs.

Thank you for considering me.
Amethyst Adams

Anonymous said...

Form Rejection, with a personalized note.

Agent DC

Wandering Spirit said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Although your story shows potential it is unfortunately of a genre that I am not best suited to represent. However, all writing is of value and I wish you the best in your endeavours.

Best wishes

Agent for a Day

Reesha said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Though your piece seemed interesting at first, I'm afraid it will not suit my needs at this time. I encourage you to continue your search for representation though, as there may be other agents who will choose to represent you.
Best of luck,
Reesha

Tamara said...

Dear Author of the 15 Date Rule,

Thank you for your query. I wish you the best of luck finding a home for this project, but after consideration, I have to say it's not for me.

Agent for a Day
(Tamara)

Venus Vaughn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm interested. Please send me the first three chapters.
I look forward to hearing from you.

~Venus Vaughn

Krista said...

Sorry, form rejection.

I just don't understand why her ex would hire Matt to break up with her. If Matt is the romantic love interest, you need to give us a reason to like him because as it is he comes off as a jerk.

Savannah Pens said...

Dear Author: Thank you for your query. However, I must pass at this time. While I find some aspects of your premise interesting, the conflict at the heart of your plot did not seem strong enough to sustain an entire novel. Best wishes. Savannah Pens Agent

Nifaerie Noven said...

Hi!

Great protagonist. Send me the first 5000 words of your manuscript.

Merry Monteleone said...

Agent for the day

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Only Literary Agency Insane Enough To Trust Me With Queries. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pass.

Best of luck,

Merry

Elizabeth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel strongly enough about the work to request further material.

Best regards,

Agent Elizabeth

Barbara Webb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sharing THE 15 DATE RULE, but I'm going to pass. While your query shows a great voice, the premise doesn't set it self apart from other books on the market for me to grab it.

Best of luck!

Barbara

Lucy said...

Dear Author: Thank you for contacting us. Unfortunately, we do not feel that we are a suitable agency to represent your work. We wish you every success in your search for an agent. Sincerely, L. C.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this project is not a good fit for me. I appreciate your time and consideration, and wish you luck in finding representation.
Best,

Agent M

Bekkoni said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submisson. Unfortunately, this novel is not right for me at this time.

Best wishes,
Bekkoni

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Raven56 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying "Agent for a Day" Agency. Unfortunately, we do not feel this story is a good fit for our list at this time. We encourage you to continue querying other agents.

Best of luck,

Raven56

Eva Gale said...

Dear Author,

While I love a good romance, I don't think your story is right for us at this time.

(needs to show more direct conflict in the query)

SGF said...

Dear Author,

Yes! I like your voice. Send me the first 50 pages.

Best,
SGF

RB Ripley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for thinking of me with your recent query.

Unfortunately, this project does not resonate with me and I must respectfully decline, though I do hope you’ll continue to consider me for future projects.

Please remember, we are part of a highly subjective industry and I am confident there is an agent out who would best represent your story.

I wish you all the best in your continued efforts. Keep writing!

Sincerely,

Agent For a Day

[rejection reason: the mars / venus metaphor seems too familiar]

IQOkie said...

I have to agree with the comments made by Bookshop 4-13 3:35pm.

Dear Author,

Thank you for considering me as your agent. Sorry, but I have to pass.

Good luck and keep writing,

Tricia

Audrey E said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for query. I'm afraid that this piece isn't right for me and I will have to pass at this time.

Yours,
Audrey

Patti K. said...

I'm intrigued. Please email me the first five chapters and a synopsis. Thank you, Patti K.

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 325   Newer› Newest»
Related Posts with Thumbnails