Nathan Bransford, Author


Monday, April 13, 2009

Be An Agent for a Day: Query #14

This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here

Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!



Dear Agent for a Day,

Now that Dan Taylor’s back home in North Carolina, and a rookie detective for the Raleigh Major Crimes Unit, he can’t be sure which part will be the worst:

The deadly mistake from his past?
The constant battle with his faith?
Harris, the senior partner he hates?
Or their first case together?

Someone is picking off members of the southern publishing industry using a variety of religious punishments, and calling himself ‘The Messenger.’ Taylor and Harris receive a cryptic note announcing that they have just one weekend to discover what ‘the message’ is, and the bodies keep piling up. They must battle the Messenger, the FBI, their captain, and each other, all while finding a way to save a writer they may dislike more than the killer. As the deadline closes in, Dan discovers an ally he never expected to hear from again, and finds himself fighting to save his family and his life.

Complete at approximately 70,000 words, THE MESSENGER is a fast-paced mystery with an inexperienced protagonist who must reexamine his beliefs and his resolve in the face of the most dangerous thing he’s ever encountered.

My first short story is forthcoming in the next issue of Spinetingler Magazine, and I teach high school British Literature and Creative Writing in North Carolina. This is my first novel.

Thank you for your time and consideration,
Author

STATS: 8% request rate






341 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 341   Newer›   Newest»
Chanelley said...

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not what I’m looking for at this time. However, do continue to query widely. After all, it does only take one agent to say yes!
All the best,
Agent for the day

reader said...

Pass.

I'm afraid your word count doesn't accurately reflect the genre you are writing for. You might want to consider reading more in your genre and noting those word counts. Very tough time placing a book with an insufficient word count.

ai-hua said...

Sounds good, but not quite for me. Rejection with personal note.

Derek said...

Dear Author,

Your idea has a lot going for it but not enough for me to want to represent it. Best of luck for your future endeavors.

Agent For A Day.

hannah said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but I'm afraid this isn't right for me at this time.

Best,
hannah

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your book isn't right for me. Agenting is subjective, though, and I wish you the best of luck!

Sincerely,
Megan

Kitti said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I regret to inform you that I am going to have to pass on this, but please keep me in mind for your future projects.

Best of luck,
Kitti

Scott said...

Dear Author,

While some of the plot elements sound intriguing, I'm afraid I'm not the agent for this. Good luck.

Scott



(reason): sounds pretty boilerplate in terms of a cop character story, and the publishing industry angle sounds a little forced for this contest, but ultimately I just didn't get a fresh spark from the idea.

David said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission. Although the query was intriguing, I am concerned that the novel is a bit short for this market.

I am going to pass on this one, but keep me in mind in the future.

Sincerely,
David

jane doherty said...

form rejection

(inexperienced protag, written by inexperienced writer who thinks it's a good idea to jam half a dozen trite ideas into 70,000 words.)

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, this submission is not right for me.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

[Not into religious/faith-based manuscripts/]

Melina said...

Dear Author,

Sorry, I'm simply not interested.

Good luck,

Melina

Keri Ford said...

Thank you for submitting, but unfortunately I didn’t connect with this story idea.

Good Luck,
Keri


<><><><><><><><>
I fear this suffers from tossing in as much conflict that the author could dream up to fill the pages. Also, how come these units are NOT working together to catch a killer? That seems reckless of law enforcement.

TheDivaAgent said...

Dear Author,

Religion and Body counts. . . sounds like a Dan Brown novel. No one can out-Brown Dan. I encourage you to keep writing, just not to me.

Then again, it wasn't that bad. You obviously understand the concept of the concept novel, it's just not unique enough.

Pass.

Keep the Faith,

The Diva Agent

Matilda McCloud said...

Thanks for your query. I'm afraid I'll have to pass on this one.

Keep writing!

With my very best regards,

Matilda McCloud

Onovello said...

Dear Author:

Many thanks for your query. Unfortunately, I'm not the right agent to represent this work.

With all best wishes,
Onovello

Bane of Anubis said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for submitting your story, but it's not for me. Best of luck,

Bane

(reasoning: there are elements I like - though the opening hook needs work and there are definitely cookie cutter elements, I like the genre and I like the conflict of caring about saving some a-hole writer from a killer - though this may backfire since the audience might root for the killer to succeed; however, I need more specifics (why are they battling the FBI - seems cliched?; what's up with the faith part? etc. Ultimately, there may be too much going on.))

EJ Lange said...

Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, this is not right for me at this time. Good luck in your search for representation.

Agent Erin

lesleylsmith said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter.
Unfortunately, your novel is not a good fit for me.
Good luck!
-Lesley
p.s. This shows promise but the word count is not sufficient for this genre. Also how does the faith fit into the plot?

======================================
Does anyone else think it's a BAD idea to admit it's a first novel? Why are all these authors doing this?

PurpleClover said...

This has a lot of potential. The author has great blurb about himself, but the query didn't pack enough punch. Makes me wonder if the story will deliver.

Dear Author:

At this time I will have to pass. Please continue to consider me for future works.

Regards,
PC

JuJu said...

Dear Author,

Your premise is interesting, however this is just not quite for me I'm afraid.

Best regards,

JuJu

scj said...

Thanks for the query, but I have to pass. Your idea sounds promising, but there were not enough details for me to distinguish it from other books in the same genre. Best of luck.

Sophie W. said...

Dear Author of The Messenger,

Although your work shows merit, I cannot request further materials at this time. Keep in mind that this business is terribly subjective, and you'll probably get the chance to thumb your nose at me in the future.

Love,

Sophie

Anonymous said...

This part "is a fast-paced mystery with an inexperienced protagonist who must reexamine his beliefs and his resolve in the face of the most dangerous thing he’s ever encountered."

Should be edited. It should get to the point, with a little sizzle thrown in. Make me want to read it.
What sets him apart from all the other inexperienced cops? Is it the case, or the cop, especially if you ever plan on this being a series.

I can see the conflicts with the main characters, but throwing everything in there in terms of a case he's got to solve, it read to me like he goes this way, but no wait, he's pulled this way, but no, he's got to go this way - whew!
It wasn't exciting, it was tiring.

But...you've got something here.
Focus on him, and what's so bizarre about this case, and I'll request pages.

But...alas, right now I have to pass

Agent XXX
Nathan, let's do this again

Agent X said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to query. I'm afraid this isn't the right piece for me. I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Agent X

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Your query looks promising, but not what I am looking for at this time. Best of luck!

Meg Spencer

jimnduncan said...

Thank you for querying, but I'm afriad I must pass on your story. Best of luck with your continued writing endeavors.

(Reason: saw some potential here, but word count threw me. The spiritual angle seems to be what might make this intriguing, and should be more focused on in the query.)

Rick Daley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Authors Write Literary Agency. I have reviewed your query for THE MESSENGER, and I’m sorry to say that I do not feel that I am the best agent to represent your work at this time.

Please keep in mind that there are many talented agents out there, and opinions are subjective based on individual preferences, workload, and market climate.

Don’t be afraid to research other agents and query those that you feel are best suited to represent your work. Best of luck!

Regards,

Daley Agent for a Day

Trix said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but it's not for me. It needs more twist. Maybe another lime?

Best Regards,
Trix

Cat Hellisen said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query.  Your proposal is interesting, but I don't feel that the project is quite right for me. I wish you the best of luck in finding representation elsewhere.

Best,
Cat.

Superfast said...

Thank you so much for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't feel I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Good luck and keep writing!

DeadlyAccurate said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your query and I apologize for this form reply.

I regret I have to pass on many interesting projects due to time constraints. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.


Sincerely,

DeadlyAccurate

(If you included pages, I would read them, though, because it's not a bad query; it simply doesn't stand out enough).

Karen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I was going to pass, but I am very intrigued in your plot and would like to read more.

Please send the first 30 pages of your manuscript.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Karen

Chuck H. said...

Dear Author,

Sorry to say this didn't grab me. Good luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,

Chuck

(Started out interesting then sort of lost me in the details. I think pages would have helped.)

quixotic said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, however, I do not feel excited enough about this story to request anything further.

Good luck in your search for an agent.

Quixotic

Anonymous said...

Muckraker:

Dear Author,

Thank-you for submitting your query about "The Messenger." However, I don't find myself sufficiently enthused by the premise. As all writing is subjective, I suggest that you query other agencies, which may feel differently. And I really do mean that. Best of luck with your project

Big-Hearted Agent

brian_ohio said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best,

Brian

jjdebenedictis said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent query; discovering new talent is one of the joys of being a literary agent, and I am always honoured to have the opportunity to read a writer's best work.

Please accept my regrets, however, as I won't be offering to represent this novel. I apologize for informing you of this using a form letter, but the volume of mail I receive makes it impractical for me to give personalized rejections.

I wish you the very best luck in finding a literary agent whose enthusiasm will bring your book the success it deserves!

Sincerely,
J. J. DeGoblin

~~~~~~~
For your reference, here are the most common reasons why I decline certain queries. Please note that if your submission was very good, my reasons for rejecting it were probably much subtler than the items on this list and cannot be put quickly into words. Again, I apologize for this form letter, but I cannot invest the time to critique those submissions I have chosen to not represent. Thank you for your understanding.


Most common reasons why I decline manuscripts:

[ ]--The manuscript is in a genre which I don't represent

[ ]--The query appears to be a non-personalized mass mailing

[ ]--The query/manuscript's presentation was worryingly unpolished
(E.g. Many spelling, grammar, punctuation or homophone errors; a non-standard format)

[ ]--The writing doesn't seem polished enough
(This improves with practice; your next novel may be excellent)

[ X ]--The plot doesn't sound compelling enough
(Again, this improves with practice and self-education)

[ ]--The plot sounds too similar to something book-buyers have already seen


Comments, if any:
This might be a gripping read, but your query is too vague about what the protagonist's conflicts are, both internal and external.

Dara said...

Dear The Messenger,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not think I am the right person for this book. I wish you success in your search for representation.

Best,

Dara

Specifics: Not compelling enough. It doesn't have anything that makes it stand out for me.

Jeni said...

Dear Messenger,
Thank you for your query. I sincerely appreciate the opportunity to review your proposal, and found the premise for your manuscript intriguing. However, I’m afraid that the manuscript does not meet my needs at this time. Please do continue to send your work to other agents, as someone else may feel differently.
Best of luck in your publishing endeavors,
Jeni

Monika said...

Thank you for your submission, but I do not think this project is right us. This is a subjective business and other agencies will feel differently. We wish you every success with your project.

David de Beer said...

Dear Author,

thanks for the interest but I'm afraid I'm going to pass this time.

Sincerely,

~David de Beer

Lucy Ammunition said...

Dear Author,
Thanks.
Sorry.

Lucy Ammunition
Fictitious Agent

(can you tell I'm starting to lose steam for longer responses now?
waiting for coffee to brew. Just put on third pot.)

PPP said...

Dear Author,

I like all the conflict you've got going here, but this query is a bit too vague for me. Give me a taste of what the Messenger's doing and show me it's not the same thing the Illuminati are up to.

Signed,
PPP

bridge said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I have to pass. Best of luck.

Sincerely,
Bridget

On a personal note, The beginning was a bit choppy, the questions and format broke up a smooth lead and it didn't really work, it seemed like a bit to much.The story sounded good I would just focus on one main thing in the query, make it exciting and then tell about the rest in the synopsis when it is requested. Hope this helps.
Bridge

Dorine White said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best regards,
Agent for a day

suki said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me. I wish you luck in your search for representation.

Regards,
Suki


Reasoning: It just didn't hook me. There's a lot of themes crammed into what feels like a pretty standard cop story framework. Perhaps with further revision, the plot and characters could be made more original and hook-worthy.

Lisa R said...

Dear The Messenger:

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately your project is not quite right for me but another agent may feel differently.

Best of luck.

Lisa R

selestial-owg said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but I'm afraid I will have to pass. Best of luck in your search.

Selestial


The questions don't all mesh with the blurb, so they seem pointless to me. The word count is too short for a mystery. Based on this, the basic idea sounds like a good one, but it just didn't get me excited based on the blurb.

romoak said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. While aspects of this story are intriguing, this story is not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your continued efforts. Please keep in mind that other agents are different.

-- I didn't like the format of the questions. I'd rather see it in paragraph form. I really liked the concept, but there were typo's and grammatical errors in the query. I would probably pass, but it's possible I might request a few chapters.

ccallicotte4 said...

Thank you for sending me your query. I appreciate you considering me.

I reviewed your proposal and unfortunately am going to pass on representing it. Please keep in mind that this is a subjective business, and another agent may feel differently. I encourage you to query widely.

Best of luck to you.

Anonymous said...

Gah I wanna read this but sadly have just 2 books left to request and am going to reserve those for my chosen genre which is fantasy.

So:


Dear author,
Your manuscript is just not right for me. Thanks for querying.

sincerely,
moniza

Gryph said...

Dear Author,

Thank you very much for your query. While I appreciate the time and effort you've put into your work, I don't believe this is a good fit for me.

Please remember that what doesn't fit one agent may well fit another! I encourage you to not give up. In the future, if you have other manuscripts to query, I hope that you'll think of me again.

Sincerely,

Agent Gryph

Jenn Johansson said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I'm afraid this isn't right for me. I just wasn't hooked.

Best of luck!
JR

Christine Rose said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

Bija Andrew Wright said...

Sorry, but I have to pass on this. Best of luck.

Eva Ulian said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Caroline said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for submitting, but this work doesn't sound right for me. The plot didn't draw me in, and the voice wasn't compelling enough to make me want to read the manuscript.

Best of luck,

Agent Caroline

Melissa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sending me your query, but I don't think I'm the right agent for the book. Best of luck.

Melissa


Thoughts: If I were part of the publishing agency, I think it would creep me out to read a story about a murderer targeting the publishing industry. This would bias me against the novel. The query was pretty good, but it didn't get me excited.

beth said...

*waves hello from the mountains of NC!! Also, fellow English teacher!*

That said....I just don't get into mysteries. So I'm out, based on genre.

Harsh Critic said...

There seem to be a lot of interesting elements to this story, but I was confused as to what the central element was-- battle for faith, the mystery, etc. I didn't know exactly what this was about. And none of the elements seemed totally unique.

Sorry, not for me.

:)Ash said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your interest in my agency. Unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for you at this time. Best wishes as you continue your search.

Sincerely yours,

:)Ash

Ulysses said...

Thanks for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I don't feel I am the agent to represent this work.

Casey said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your time and consideration. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent THE MESSENGER.

The opening sentence did not work for me, particularly.

Best wishes,

Casey

Nixy Valentine said...

Dear Author:

I'm sorry, but I don't think I'm the right agent for your book.

Notes: This was an *almost* for me. The query was very well written, and it really was a matter of that I can only select 5, 23 queries have now been posted, and I've already chosen 3. If I were a real agent, I'd probably agonise a bit over turning this one down.

In the end it was the "faith" comment that tipped it for me, as I didn't know if this was going to be a very religious book, and that sort of thing doesn't appeal to me. A very very personal preference, and I have no doubt you'll actually be able to find an agent, as your query was very polished and the story promising.

sirayn said...

Dear X,

Thank you for your query. I’m afraid I have to pass, but I wish you luck in finding an agent who’s passionate about your work.

Today’s Agent

(Reasoning: weirded out by the victims all being from the southern publishing industry, which leads me to think 1. what southern publishing industry? isn't everyone in NY? and 2. this is going to be like Miss Snark always talked about - a novel about killing literary agents! Ultimately I found the query pretty bland and I'm not sure why I would pick up this mystery rather than another.)

Chrissy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but it isn't what Im looking for at this time. Good luck with your publishing endeavors.

Kiki

K. Andrew Smith said...

Dear author,

Thank you for your submission, The Messenger. Unfortunately, it's not quite right for me. I wish you good fortune in your quest for an agent.

Sincerely,

K. Andrew Smith

John said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for giving me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, it's not something I think I can sell at present. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.

AgentMan said...

This was very close, but my workload and general feeling about religion-based work makes it a pass.

Best of luck.

AgentMan

The Classic Carol said...

Dear Author:
Thank you for your query. I am interested in reviewing your work. Please forward a synopsis and the first four chapters along with a brief resume.

Cat said...

Dear Author,

thank you for submitting your story. Please send the first fifty pages as an rtf-file.

Sincerely,
Cat

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for thinking of me, your novel The Messenger sounds interesting but it's not for me at this time.

Good luck with your search for an agent.

Kind regards,

amyandnick

Vicky said...

Thank you for thinking of our agency. Unfortunately this project is not right for us.

Best wishes.

sraasch said...

Dear Author,

It's just not my genre. Sorry!

Thanks!
Sara

Colorado Writer said...

Sorry, but not for me.
Best,
Agent Name

Belinda Frisch said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. However, I am not able to offer representation at this time.

Best Wishes,
Belinda

Craven said...

Thank you for consideration, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck, Craven

Rick said...

Author-

I'd like to hear more about this work. Before I request a full manuscript, I'd like to get a feel for your writing style. Please reply with:

1. Your favorite 1000-word excerpt (and setup).
2. The first 1000 words from the middlemost chapter (and setup).
3. One-paragraph descriptions of your main characters and their motivations. I don't need histories, unless it is their history that defines their motivation, just a snapshot of how they are right now.

Please copy and paste the excerpts into the body of the email. Do not send attachments.

Thanks for your time, and for thinking of me!

Sincerely,
Rick O

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pass on this query.

Sincerely,
Amy

Ethan Rosr said...

No thank you, is this a spiritual crime novel?

Moth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query to Moth's Literary Agency. While your story sounds interesting, I'm afraid it's just not right for us. Best of luck in your writing career.

Sincerely,
Moth

Madison said...

Dear Author,

Thank you so much for submitting your work and considering me to represent it. While the story sounds quite interesting, I am afraid it does not fit my list at this point in time and I must regretfully pass. I know rejections can be hard to take, but please keep submitting and following your dream.

Best of luck in your agent hunt!

Sincerely,

Madison

Reason for rejection: I live in North Carolina, born and raised here, so the author immediately had my "sit in the chair a little straighter" attention, but lost it as quickly as it came. What is the horrible secret of the past? Why is his faith a conflict? This story sounds like it could be interesting but was not pitched right to continue to hold the attention and suspense.

Lois Lavrisa said...

Dear Author,

While I appreciate your consideration of our agency, I will have to pass on your project.

I am sorry to say I did not have the passionate response to it that I would need to request more or offer you representation.

Obviously you want an agent who will stand enthusiastically behind your work.

Additionally, given today’s publishing climate I do not believe I would be able to get you the attention from a publisher that your book deserves.

Publishing is very subjective, though, and another agent may well feel differently.

I do wish you success in finding representation and, once again, thank you for the opportunity to consider your work.

Sincerely,

Lois Lavrisa
Agent for a day

Steve Axelrod said...

I have to pass on this one. Your query contains a welter of confusing and overly familiar plot points. Pare it down and try again.

Tamara said...

Dear Author of The Messenger,

Thank you for your query. I wish you the best of luck finding a home for this project, but after consideration, I have to say it's not for me.

Best wishes,
Agent for a Day
(Tamara)

The Writers Canvas said...

Thanks for your query, but it's not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your writing endeavors!

Elaine

Ramen with cheese said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for allowing RJM Agency to consider your work, but I’m afraid it’s not a good fit for our list. We wish you every bit of luck in your search for representation.

RJM

dhole said...

Dear Author, thanks for your query, but I'm afraid this isn't right for me at the moment. Yrs, etc.

Nik said...

Thank you for your query, but I'm going to pass at this time.

Reasoning: I think you could start with the paragraph about someone picking off members... Weave in there who Taylor and Harris are, but I'd cut the first part. That feels awkward to me and the third paragraph seems to be where you get to the meat of the story. I also wonder if the story shouldn't be a tad longer for the genre. (but I don't read a lot of mysteries so I could be wrong about that)

Hilabeans said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. I regret to say that I don’t feel that I’m the most appropriate agent for this project.

Best wishes,

HHS

Other Lisa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately it's not what I'm looking for. Best of luck in your search for representation, and keep writing!

Barb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Please send your full manuscript for further consideration.

Kind regards,
Barb

Cat Moleski said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, unfortunately, I must pass on your project at this time.

Cat

Kristi said...

Thank you for your query. I feel this isn't quite right for me but I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,
Kristi

RK said...

Intrigued! Your book sounds like it'd be great fit in the inspirational suspense market and I'd love to see more. Send the first three chapters!

Agent-For-The-Day

super agent nicole said...

Dear author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. While the idea sounds very promising, it did not quite resonate with me. Also, the way you worded the questions in the blurb section made me cautious; personally I am not a fan of that style of writing and thus I do not think that we would make a good agent/author team

Thank you,
Nicole

note: I would probably pick up this book at a book store and at LEAST debate on whether to buy it, but I'm not positive I would like it. Maybe a little more about who Dan is as a character would help.

Cassandra said...

Dear Author,

I'm afraid that at this time I am unable to offer representation for your novel. This is purely a business decision, and unfortunately means that we must turn away many talented individuals. I encourage you to continue querying agents you think might be interested.

I appreciate your interest in Agent for A Day, and wish you every success in your writing career.



Regards,
Cassandra

Tryst888 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query but I'm afraid I will have to pass on this one. Best of luck to you in your future endeavors.

Steph said...

Dear You,

Thanks for querying, but I'm going to pass. Remember opinions vary greatly in this business (et al) and you should query widely. Best of luck!

Steph

Miss Lily said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for allowing me to read this query, but it's not right for me. Best of luck, and please keep me in mind for future projects.

Lily

Reason: Not my cup of tea. Plus, the publishing industry...it's not unique enough to me.

Endless Secrets said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, im afraid your novel does not sound as though it is right for me. And a completed adult mystery novel completed at 70000 words seems much to short.

Best of Luck

-Lea

Dawn G. said...

Dear Author,

Unfortunately, I am unable to offer you representation at this time. Thank you for submitting your work for consideration. Please keep me in mind for future projects.

Kindest Regards,

D. Agent

Heather said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but it's not for me.

Good luck!
Heather

Cary Louisa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I don't feel it's right for me.

Thanks,
Cary

KathyF said...

Dear Author of Query #14,

Thank you for your query, but THE MESSENGER isn't right for me.

KathyF

Cary Louisa said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission but I don't feel this is right for me.

Thanks,
Car

Kristine Overbrook said...

Dear Author,

Your novel sounds interesting please send me the first three chapters.

Thank you,
Agent F A Day

The ms seems short, but I'd like to see the writing.

SammyStewart said...

Form Rejection. Watch the grammar, and the excessive use of rhetorical questions. They are reminiscent of the cliff-hanging end to an after-school serial episode.

Gwen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest. Unfortunately, this project is not a good fit for me at the present time.

Regards,

Gwen

***

(Side note: although I do enjoy tales involving religious undertones - or overtones! - this particular plot is not something that grabs me.)

Dana said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I am not interested in representing this novel.

Regards,

Dana

reasons: The voice didn't match what I thought the plotline was going to be and I wasn't really thrilled with the concept.

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit.

I regret to inform you that at this time I would like to pass on your book.

Although it sounds like it has some potential, I can't really connect with the characters; nor do I find myself wanting to know more.

I would also consider altering your title; its too close to another famous book.

Best of luck in the future,

Regards,
Agent for a Day, Bookworm Megs

AgentMan said...

I actually passed on this earlier today, but I've changed my mind. Please send my the first 50 pages and a synopsis as an attached Word file. I look forward to reading your work.

AgentMan

Cindy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, however this is not the right project for me.

All the best,
Cindy

Agent KES said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I am not able to offer you representation at this time. Best of luck,

Agent KES

Barbara Webb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sharing THE MESSENGER, but I'm going to pass.

Best of luck!

Kavanaugh and Byrne's LA said...

Dear Author

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to consider your work at Kavanaugh and Byrne’s Literary Agency.

We do not feel that are the best match with this project.
We wish you every success with this and other ventures

Flower Kavanaugh

Horserider said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for allowing us to consider your work. I’m sorry to say that this is not something we are interested in at this time. We receive hundreds of submissions every week and, unfortunately, cannot take them all on. This is a very subjective business and I wish you luck on your journey to publication.

Sincerely,

Horserider Literary Agency

Kelly Guentner said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the query. I regret to inform you that this is not the right work for me to represent at this time.

I wish you luck in your future writing career.

Sincerely,
Kelly Guentner

Tara Ryan said...

Dear Author,
Thank you so much for submitting your work to me. Unfortunately, The Messenger is not a good fit for me at this time. I wish you much luck in your writing endeavors.
Agent-for-a-day

StrugglingToMakeIt said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Best,

Agent

Jen C said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to the Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever. I regret that, at this time, your project is not quite what I’m looking for. I wish you the best of luck in your continuing search for representation.
Sincerely,
Jen C.

ikmar said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. Sorry, but it is not for me.

Sincerely,
Agent for the Day

Disgruntled Bear said...

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately I am going to have to pass at this time.
I wish you the best of luck with another agent.

Sincerely,
Agent

Laura said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but the premise is not a good fit for me.

Best of luck,

Agent Laura

Sasha said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your manuscript.

Good luck and yours truly,
AftD

Anonymous said...

No thank you. Best of luck in your endeavors.

-Agent Pro Tempore

Gregory said...

Dear Author;

Form rejection.

Cordially,

Agent Gregory

[Other comments are apropos. If you haven't read any of the John Sandford "Prey" series, I recommend it. Excellent example of some of the better work in this genre. Cops have personality issues, but in general, they work together. And bodies don't "pile up" from a serial killer, unless it's over a considerable period of time. As others have pointed out, 70k words is YA length. One other thing... "A deadly mistake from his past." Yawn. What, specific mistake, and how does it bear? If it's not enough to hook me, don't bother.]

Laura said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but the premise is not a good fit for me.

Best of luck,

Agent Laura

Annalee said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the opportunity to consider your manuscript. I'm afraid it isn't right for me.

Regards,
-Annalee

-----------
Reason: It just didn't grab me. I would consider tightening the query a bit (back home from where, for instance?). I could see it finding a happy home with another agent.

Adam Heine said...

This sounds interesting, but the query isn't specific enough.

I'm sorry, but this doesn't sound right for me. Thank you for submitting.

Melinda said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but unfortunately this project isn't right for me. Best of luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,

Melinda

Jeanne Tomlin said...

Form rejection kindly omitting rhetorical question rant because I'm feeling kindly.

Meg Trotter said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, unfortunately I will have to pass. The story line seems similar to books already on the market and the word count is not quite what it should be for books of this genre.
It's a no for this submission, but please do query me for future projects.

Best of luck,

Megan

CJK said...

Thank you for your query. I am not interested in further materials on this work. Good luck with your search for representation. CJK

bookshop said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent submission. While our agency is not the best fit for this particular project, other agents may feel differently. I wish you luck in your search for representation.


Regards,

Bookshop

Eden said...

Thanks for the opportunity but I'm afraid I'll have to pass on representing this piece.

Best of luck with your writing.

~Eden

Soratian said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid I'll be passing on this as this is not my genre.

Some comments though: you have a tightly-put together pitch, but I'm missing a hook that would make this stand out from all the other cop thrillers, which is a very competitive field.

Best regards,
Soratian

Leslie said...

Dear Author,

I find your plot line intriguing. Please e-mail two sample chapters and a synopsis. I am especially interested in reading the dialogue between the characters you have described. Thank you for your query and I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards, Leslie

Patti K. said...

Thank you for your submission but I do not believe that your manuscript is what I am looking for at this time. Good luck in your quest for the perfect agent!

Patti K.

Polenth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. As your story didn't resonate with me, I'm going to have to pass.

--
Polenth

Pap said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in my agency. However, I will not be requesting any further materials from you at this time. Please note that submissions are a very subjective business and my comments are not a critique on your writing ability. I strongly encourage you to continue your search for an agent and wish you all the best.

Your sincerely,

Make-believe Agency

KC in SF said...

Thank you for your query. I am intrigued by your premise and would love to see your manuscript.

best wishes,

KC in SF

Renee Collins said...

Dear The Messenger,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, the story does not seem quite right for me.

Best of luck,

Renee

MK said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission. After careful consideration, I've decided this manuscript isn't for us at this time.

Good luck with your search.

Best,
Agent For a Day

Mystery Robin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I am not the right agent for this book. Best of luck!

Robin

Sage said...

Dear Messenger,

I feel this has a lot of promise, but I'm not sure it's unique enough for me. Another agent may feel differently.

Thanks,
Sage

Selene said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for contacting Selene Literary. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that this project is not right for us. We wish you the best of luck in finding an agent that is as enthusiastic about this book as it deserves.

Best regards,
Selene Da Agent
Selene Literary

Melanie K said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for allowing me to consider The Messenger. Unfortunately, I don't feel that I am the right agent for you.

Best of luck in your search for representation.

Melanie

REASONS: It's late and my next dose of caffeine isn't due for a few hours, which could explain why I was confused. There's so much going on. So many battles. So many questions to open the query--three of which remains unanswered. And why *do* they hate the writer? He has to be pretty special to be saved at the expense of those piles of bodies.

I know you want to hold the good stuff back, but you have to give enough to make me want to read more.

Julie Weathers said...

Dear Author,

There were interesting points in your submission, but I’m afraid I can’t offer representation. This is a subjective business, and what appeals to one reader doesn’t always appeal to another. With my current workload, I have to be very discriminating and take on only projects I am passionate about.

I urge you to continue your quest to be published and wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

J.M. Agent

(It's a bit too scattered for me.)

Nay said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.
I will have to pass on this project, but best of luck to you.

-Nay

theflightytemptress said...

Dear The Messenger,

Thank you for your submission, but unfortunately it’s not for me. Publishing is a very subjective business, though, and another agent may feel differently. Best of luck on your continued search.

I like your voice but don't think the plot is strong enough. Please keep me in mind for future queries, though.

Yours,

Kat Brauer

Joy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission and your interest in using me as an agent. After taking some time to consider your material, I have decided that this isn't right for me.

Best of luck in your writing endeavors,

Joy

Reasoning: While it'd be nice to see a well-written plot where a character's faith plays into the conflict, the plot itself just lacked the spark to set it apart from other police stories. I'd work on making the query bring out the unique aspects of the story. Good luck!

Annie said...

I'd pass.

Reason: the query rambles a bit. At only 70,000 words, I'm afraid the plot won't be as tight as the word count demands.

Jessumby said...

Dear Author

Thank you for sending me your query. I regret to inform you that it does not suit the needs of my list at this time.

Regards, Jessumby

Sol said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I am unable to request a partial at this time.

I wish you the best in your search for an agent.

Kind regards,

Sol Nima

Getabo Publishing said...

A crime/thriller with religious aspects, cryptic notes and saving friends and family sound solid aspects to a popular novel.

Good you include the word count, and credits which may be appreciated by a real agent, but I'm not sure if Spinetingler is big enough to be really big value-add in your pitch - perhaps mention if it is a paid piece.

What's missing?
Something personal, why you think your work is a good fit for me and my list.

Suggestions:
The impression I have is that this tells me what the story is about, but doesn't give me an idea of plot and conflict, the characters' interactions or motivations with any great strength or drama - I don't get a sense of the 'hook'. You do hint at motivation ("save a writer they may dislike more than the killer" and "finds himself fighting to save his family and his life") but I don't get a sense of 'wow' why is this different and dramatic or unexpected in some way and why it drives the action.

I like the concepts behind the four bullet questions, but I would incorporate them into a paragraph 'when x happens, DT's battle with his faith xxx'.

I wonder if 70K is not a little too short for the market too, although perhaps if it's really well written that wouldn't be a deciding factor.

good luck!

***
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately we do not think that your book would be a likely prospect for our list.

We regret that the large number of submissions we receive makes it impossible to offer individual comment. We believe it is more important to read and evaluate every query / submission we receive with due consideration.

We appreciate you thinking of Getabo Creative Publishing, and wish you the best of luck with your manuscript and future writing endeavors.

Sincerely.
The Editors
Getabo Creative Publishing

thin said...

Dear Author,
While it seems like an interesting premise for a book, I'm sorry to say that I cannot take on the project. Thank you for considering me, and best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
Thin

wickerman said...

Dear Author,


Thank you for your query. I am afraid I must pass at this time. While there were no sample pages for me to skim, I feel the plot as outlined int he query is a bit too familiar. I would suggest revising the query to focus on what makes your story unique and including the first 3-5 pages. If you wish to do so, I would be happy to take a second look.

Best of Luck,

The Wickerman

Toilet Cleaner, Bransford Lit

RW said...

Dear Author:

Thank you very much for your query. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to consider your work for representation. As you know, it’s a competitive market these days, and I don’t believe I have the right relationships to sell this project successfully. I do wish you luck in finding an agent and thank you for considering me.

Yours truly,

RW

Poppy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I am afraid that your work is not right for me at this time, however I would urge you to continue to submit to other agents: this is a subjective business.

Agent

Deniz Bevan said...

Thank you for your query, but I wouldn't be the right agent in this instance.
I wish you luck finding the right home for your work.
Sincerely,
Ms Agent Agency

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query, unfortunately The Messenger is not the right project for me.

Best,
Agent for the day, Kats

kdrausin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I was intrigued by your query however at this time my client list is full.

I wish you luck on your writing journey.

Sincerely,

KDrausin (This query made it to my top 5 for one opening. It reminds me of a Dan Brown novel..which means it will sell. People are creatures of habit.)

Sun Up said...

Dear Author,

I think you're on to something good. I was intrigued, but I really don't handle this genre. However, I have a fellow agent who might be interested in reading more of your work. Please email to agentfriend@literaryplace.com.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Form rejection.


Haha. Publishing murders. I did get a laugh out of this one and not sure I was supposed to. What could the writer have done that made them not want to save his life? Geez.

Jabez said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not believe I am the best agent to represent your manuscript. Best of luck in your quest for publication.

Dale - Las Vegas said...

Thank you for your submission but it doesn't seem right for me at this time.

Good luck in the future.

(sounds like it could be good but the writing doesn't grab and hold my attention.

Heather Harper said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. After careful consideration, I regret that I’m unable to request your manuscript at this time.

Best,
Agent for a day

Sherry Ficklin said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for thinking of me, but I'm going to have to pass. Best of luck finding another agent!

Sincerely, Agent Faux

lucy in the sky said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not believe I am the best person to represent your work.

Janeal C. Falor said...

Thank you for the opportunity to look at you work. Unfortunately, I don't feel this is the right project for me.

Lipstick Lizzie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but unfortunately your story is not for me at this time.

Sincerely,
Fake Agent

---Its almost there for me. I like the religious angle, but I don't see any reason why I would like the MC. I would like to read more about why I would want to see him succeed - what's he got going for him?

educlaytion said...

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not for me. Good luck in the future.

Tree said...

Dear Author:
I want to thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. Unfortunately, I did not connect well enough with your project to pursue it further. As I'm sure you know, agenting is a very subjective business. Although your project didn't fit with my particular list, another agent may respond very differently.
Please accept my best wishes for success in your writing career and finding the perfect advocate for your work.
Sincerely,
Tree

Janny said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting the query on THE MESSENGER to me. I like the sound of this premise, and I'm interested in seeing more. Please send the first 50 pages of your story as a Word attachment (either .rtf or .doc format is fine) by e-mail, and put the title of your requested manuscript as the title of the e-mail.

I look forward to seeing more of this story!

Sincerely,
Janny

Fawn Neun said...

Thank you for sending in your query for consideration. We have looked it over carefully, but do not feel it meets our agency needs at this time. We do not represent mysteries and thrillers.

Thank you for offering the opportunity and best of luck,

Fawn

Laurie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I have decided to decline representing you for this manuscript.

I think you have a very compelling story line and you made it to the second round in my consideration, and the only reason I am declining is the mandatory limit of only accepting five manuscripts.

Best of luck to you! I'm sure you will find representation soon.

Laurie

Fairduncan said...

Dear Author

I was intrigued by your query and would be interested in looking at a partial of your manuscript. If you could send me the first 50 or so pages, I'll be glad to review it and give you a timely response.

Best Regards,
Agent

L.C. Gant said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I'm afraid your story isn't right for me. Good luck on your continued search for representation.

Best wishes,

L.C. Gant (Agent for a Day)

(Reasoning: There are way too many issues going on in this story, and with it only being 70,000 words, most of them are unlikely to be well-developed. All in all, there's nothing that really jumped out at me about the concept.)

Amethyst Greye Alexander said...

Dear Author,

I've reviewed your query but am afraid your project isn't a good fit with the works I represent. I hope you won't let this discourage you, however, as every agent has different tastes and you're sure to find representation that will better suit your needs.

Thank you for considering me.
Amethyst Adams

Anonymous said...

Form Rejection.

Agent DC

Wandering Spirit said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Although your story shows potential it is unfortunately of a genre that I am not best suited to represent. However, all writing is of value and I wish you the best in your endeavours.

Best wishes

Agent for a Day

Note: Although not personally a thriller fan it sounded pretty interesting but I instantly wondered how this story could be told in just 70,000 words.

Reesha said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately your piece is not what I am interested in at this time. Best of luck in your continued search for representation.
Reesha

Venus Vaughn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I was very interested by your submission and hope you continue to pursue your writing career as you have some good ideas and an intriguing voice. Though I liked your project, ultimately it is not something I will be able to devote the right amount of energy towards.

I encourage you to hone your craft and keep submitting. Just because this isn't the right project for me, that doesn't mean you won't find representation elsewhere.

Best of luck,

~Venus Vaughn

Maryann Miller said...

Would reject, but include a brief critique, as well as an invitation to resubmit.

Jenny said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for giving me a chance to consider your work. Please email me the first three chapters and a synopsis of in Word format. You will receive a form acknowledgment to let you know I have received your submission. Please allow up to six weeks for a reply.

Krista said...

Sorry, form rejection.

This seemed like it could be good, but I am just not sure enough to ask for more. I think you should focus more on the most interesting aspect of your novel instead of listing all of the subplots.

Nifaerie Noven said...

Hi,

Thanks for submitting your work. Unfortunately, I can not represent you at this time. Your query shows much promise. Best of luck.

Merry Monteleone said...

Agent for the day

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Only Literary Agency Insane Enough To Trust Me With Queries. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pass.

Best of luck,

Merry

KareFree Kennels said...

The Messenger

Sorry, not for me.

Best of luck,
Sheryl

Savannah Pens said...

Dear Author: Thank you for your query. The premise sounds interesting but not right for my agency at the manuscript length you describe. Best wishes. Savannah Pens Agent

EJN said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I do not feel your query provided a sufficient display of the main character's voice to draw my interest. However, another agent may very well feel differently.

Best of luck,
Agent EJN

Elizabeth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not feel strongly enough about the work to request any further material.

Best regards,

Agent Elizabeth

Brenda said...

Dear Author,
I like your idea but I am not handling detective stories at this time.

Lucy said...

Dear Author: Thank you for contacting us. Unfortunately, we do not feel that we are a suitable agency to represent your work. We wish you every success in your search for an agent. Sincerely, L. C.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this project is not a good fit for me. I appreciate your time and consideration, and wish you luck in finding representation.
Best,

Agent M

Bekkoni said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for ypur submisson. Unfortunately, I am not able to request this manuscript at this time. While your premise is interesting, it requires some more clarity.

Best Wishes,
Bekkoni

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query, and I'm interested in reading more of THE MESSENGER. Please send me the first fifty pages as a .doc attachment.

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