Nathan Bransford, Author


Monday, April 13, 2009

Be An Agent for a Day: Query #12

This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here

Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!



Dear Agent for a Day:

The symbol carved post-mortem into the third victim was the same as the other two. The same symbol that adorned the cover of a little-known true crime paperback. The same symbol left on the private vault walls of unscrupulous billionaires for almost twenty years.

A butterfly.

Jonathan and Lew, a retired pair of Robinhoods, learn of the murders and set out to protect their body of work, their identities and Jonathan's little girl.

But the murders are just the bait.

Caught in a diseased madman's diabolical trap, Jonathan is spirited halfway across the globe where he has to fight for his life, his daughter and both friend and foe alike, with Lew desperately trying to come to the rescue.

They soon learn they're not the only ones with secrets. But everyone who's ever known this secret is dead.

And a little girl is next.

STEALING GENIUS is a thriller complete at 129,000 words and is available for your review.

My short fiction has appeared in various international publications and has received two honorable mentions in the Year's Best Fantasy & Horror anthology. You can find more information about me and my writing on my website at [redacted].

Thank you for your consideration.

Author

STATS: 10% request rate






331 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 331   Newer›   Newest»
Agent X said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to query. I'm afraid this isn't the right piece for me. I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

Agent X

Derek said...

Dear Author,

Your premise sounds promising. May I see a sample of the writing?

Agent For A Day.

Sophie W. said...

Dear Author of Stealing Genius,

Although your work shows merit, I cannot request further materials at this time. Keep in mind that this business is terribly subjective, and you'll probably get the chance to thumb your nose at me in the future.

Love,

Sophie

reader said...

Pass.

There simply isn't enough to distinguish this book from the many others that crowd this genre. You might have better luck querying a hungrier agent.

Matilda McCloud said...

Thanks for your query. I'm afraid I'll have to pass on this one.

Keep writing!

With my very best regards,

Matilda McCloud

hannah said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for my list at this time.

Best of luck,
hannah

ai-hua said...

Probably interesting, but I don't know if I could bring myself to read it, peronally. Rejected with personal note.

ai-hua said...

(I can spell; just not in comments it seems.)

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your book isn't right for me. Agenting is subjective, though, and I wish you the best of luck!

Sincerely,
Megan

Chanelley said...

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not what I’m looking for at this time. However, do continue to query widely. After all, it does only take one agent to say yes!
All the best,
Agent for the day

Bane of Anubis said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for submitting your story, but it's not for me. Best of luck,

Bane

(reasoning: not enough specifics - mood setting is there, but without scene, there's nothing to draw me in)

Scott said...

Dear Author,

There are ideas here that interest me, but I'm afraid your query doesn't really follow them up well enough for me to consider it.

Good luck and keep writing,

Scott


(reason): Basically what I said in my response, there are plot elements introduced here that jump out like non sequiturs, and for a book that long, I get the feeling the author hasn't nailed down his story enough.

lesleylsmith said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter.
Unfortunately, your novel is not a good fit for me.
Good luck!
-Lesley
p.s. The writing here was a bit awkward; the query letter should focus on what the story is, not what it isn't.

David said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your project doesn't sound right for me.

Sincerely,
David

Anonymous said...

Thank-you for your query. However, "Stealing Genius" doesn’t sound like a good match for me. As all writing is subjective, I suggest that you query other agencies which may have a different opinion. Best of luck with your project

Big-Hearted Agent

reasons: Mundane, ungrammatical, redundant writing style. A "diseased" madman? What kind of disease? Glaucoma? The heartbreak of psoriasis? Assuming that the author means a diseased mind, then being a "madman" is enough. Also, I doubt I could last through 129K words of this type of writing. Even if it has a chance, it probably needs to be edited by 20-30K words.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, this isn't right for me at this time.

Best regards,
Agent for a Day

[Fix the formatting; the query is too painful to read.]

Keri Ford said...

There's something about this calling to me and I'd like to see more. Please send me your first chapter and synopsis by word attachment.

thanks, keri

<><><><><><><>

While I did ask for more, what stopped me from asking for the full is that there wasn't enough in this query. I want the synopsis to see where you're going and more of what's motivating your characters. But from this query, I can really feel the rush of a thriller in your voice.

Kitti said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I regret to inform you that I am going to have to pass on this, but please keep me in mind for your future projects.

Best of luck,
Kitti

Melina said...

Dear Author,

Shows promise, but clearly ont enough.

Best wishes,

Melina

jane doherty said...

Not for me.

(I am suspicious of anyone citing short fiction awards who needs 129,000 words for a thriller.)

Onovello said...

Dear Author:

Many thanks for your query. Unfortunately, I'm not the right agent for this work.

With best wishes for your success,

Onovello

PurpleClover said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this work isn't right for me.

Agent99

Reasons: What sets it apart from similar works in this genre?

scj said...

Sorry, but not for me. The query isn't specific enough to draw me in. Best of luck.

Chuck H. said...

Dear Author,

Sorry to say this just didn't grab me. Good luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,

Chuck

(Isn't 129,000 a little long? The formatting put me off and the story, though somewhat interesting was presented in too confused a manner. Work on it.)

TheDivaAgent said...

Dear Author,

Cut 29,000 adverbs and call me in the morning. This sounds promising, but long. Query me again when you've chopped it down a bit.

The Diva Agent

Karen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. While I believe this to be an interesting work, it is not right for me.

Best of luck to you,
Karen

jimnduncan said...

Thank you for querying me, but I'm afraid I must pass on your story. Best of luck in your continued endeavors.

(Reason: far too vague for me to get a sense of just what the story is about.)

Nixy Valentine said...

Dear Author:

I'm sorry, but I'm not the right agent for your book.

Notes: Although I found the concept interesting, I didn't find the writing as tight as it could be.

I don't get why someone is breaking into private vaults and carving butterflies. I didn't like "diseased" madman, unless you literally mean he's ill. I don't think "Robinhoods" is a word, and if it is, surely it's two words?

I think there may well be a gem in here, but the query was too muddled for me to find it.

Rick Daley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Authors Write Literary Agency. I have reviewed your query for STEALING GENIUS, and I’m sorry to say that I do not feel that I am the best agent to represent your work at this time.

Please keep in mind that there are many talented agents out there, and opinions are subjective based on individual preferences, workload, and market climate.

Don’t be afraid to research other agents and query those that you feel are best suited to represent your work. Best of luck!

Regards,

Daley Agent for a Day

David de Beer said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your interest but I'm going to pass this time. Best of luck,

Sincerely,
David de Beer

Superfast said...

Thank you so much for your submission. Unfortunately, I don't feel I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Good luck and keep writing!

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I will have to pass at this time.

Best,

Meg Spencer

PurpleClover said...

Dear Author:

Thanks for thinking of me but I don't think I could sell this.

Regards,
PC

Owl Sprite said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sending me the query for your book "Stealing Genius." Unfortunately, it doesn't match my interests at this time.

Best wishes, and keep writing!

(additional comments: 129,000 words is a little too long, and the topic is a little too gruesome for my particular taste)

Cat Hellisen said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query.  Your proposal is interesting, but I don't feel that the project is quite right for me. I wish you the best of luck in finding representation elsewhere.

Best,
Cat.

DeadlyAccurate said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your query and I apologize for this form reply.

I regret I have to pass on many interesting projects due to time constraints. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.


Sincerely,

DeadlyAccurate

jjdebenedictis said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent query; discovering new talent is one of the joys of being a literary agent, and I am always honoured to have the opportunity to read a writer's best work.

Please accept my regrets, however, as I won't be offering to represent this novel. I apologize for informing you of this using a form letter, but the volume of mail I receive makes it impractical for me to give personalized rejections.

I wish you the very best luck in finding a literary agent whose enthusiasm will bring your book the success it deserves!

Sincerely,
J. J. DeGoblin

~~~~~~~
For your reference, here are the most common reasons why I decline certain queries. Please note that if your submission was very good, my reasons for rejecting it were probably much subtler than the items on this list and cannot be put quickly into words. Again, I apologize for this form letter, but I cannot invest the time to critique those submissions I have chosen to not represent. Thank you for your understanding.


Most common reasons why I decline manuscripts:

[ ]--The manuscript is in a genre which I don't represent

[ ]--The query appears to be a non-personalized mass mailing

[ ]--The query/manuscript's presentation was worryingly unpolished
(E.g. Many spelling, grammar, punctuation or homophone errors; a non-standard format)

[ ]--The writing doesn't seem polished enough
(This improves with practice; your next novel may be excellent)

[ X ]--The plot doesn't sound compelling enough
(Again, this improves with practice and self-education)

[ ]--The plot sounds too similar to something book-buyers have already seen


Comments, if any:
This might be very good, but your query is vague about of what actually happens in the book.

KC in SF said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid that I would not be the right person to represent your work.

best wishes,

KC in SF

quixotic said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, however, I do not feel excited enough about this story to request anything further.

Good luck in your search for an agent.

Quixotic

Thomas said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not appropriate for my current needs. I wish you luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,
Tally

brian_ohio said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best,

Brian

DCS said...

Your word count is too high for this genre and my tastes. Thank you anyway.

Dara said...

Dear Stealing Genius,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I do not think I am the right person for this book. I wish you success in your search for representation.

Best,

Dara

Specifics: It just didn't grab me. Sounds too similar to other things already out there.

Monika said...

Thank you for your submission, but I do not think this project is right us. This is a subjective business and other agencies will feel differently. We wish you every success with your project.


[This book sounds fasinating, but the query lacks detail due to the use of jargon. I'm unsure what exactly is meant by "retired Robinhoods" (gentlemen theives?) and where exactly is "halfway around the world" (Europe, Asia, Australia?) Just a few well chosen words here and there would make a world of difference.]

Lucy Ammunition said...

Dear Author,
You had me on "Butterfly." If you were to rewrite this, I would start with it...

"A butterfly. The symbol... for..."

I'm not sure what your little girl has, but the title grabs me. I'm intrigued.

I know my boss says I'm only allowed to chose five a day, so I should really read through everything and then make a decision.
But I'm flying by the cuff.

Send me the novel. Whole thing.
I'm not much of a spy thriller type, but even that going and the confusion on the story line in your query, somehow you hooked me.

(How do they do that?)

Lucy Ammunition
Fictitious Agent

Jeni said...

Dear Stealing,
Thank you for your query. I’d be delighted to read more. Please e-mail the first three chapters of your book and a synopsis to me as Word attachments. I will do my best to respond to your work within one month.
I look forward to reading your work!
Sincerely,
Jeni

Dorine White said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me. I do encourage you to continue your search though.

Best regards,
Agent for a day

suki said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me. I wish you luck in your search for representation.

Regards,
Suki


Reasoning: It just didn't hook me. The plot felt kind of convoluted. And the "Robinhood" analogy didn't seem to fit, which makes me wonder about the precision of the writing.

Lisa R said...

Dear Stealing Genius:

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your project is not right for me. Another agent may feel differently. Best of luck.

Lisa R

selestial-owg said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. At this time, I will have to pass. This is a very subjective business though, and I wish you luck in your search.

Selestial



I was intrigued by the hook, but once the blurb started, I felt let down. I have a feeling that the book is probably really good, but based on the query, it was a bit disjointed for me.

AgentMan said...

I know I'm going to regret this, but I have to pass on Stealing Genius. My current workload is unfortunately the reason. If you still haven't found representation in six months, please feel free to query me again.

All the best,

AgentMan

ccallicotte4 said...

Thank you for sending me your query. I appreciate you considering me.

I reviewed your proposal and unfortunately am going to pass on representing it. While I found your premise interesting, I'm afraid that in this market I can only take on work I feel passionate about. Please keep in mind that this is a subjective business, and another agent may feel differently. I encourage you to query widely.

Best of luck to you.

[interesting premise - I was torn, but I can only take 5 and the word count is very high.]

romoak said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. While aspects of this story are intriguing, this story is not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your continued efforts. Please keep in mind that other agents are different.

-- There are intersting tidbits in here, but no specifics. I need the meat of the story.

Eva Ulian said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gryph said...

Dear Author,

Thank you very much for your query. While I appreciate the time and effort you've put into your work, I don't believe this is a good fit for me.

Please remember that what doesn't fit one agent may well fit another! I encourage you to not give up. In the future, if you have other manuscripts to query, I hope that you'll think of me again.

Sincerely,

Agent Gryph

Jenn Johansson said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I'm afraid this isn't right for me. I do love the name though!

Best of luck!
JR

Caroline said...

Dear Author:

Horror is not my favorite genre, so it takes an exceptional premise to spark my interest. Unfortunately, your story didn't seem unique enough for me. I encourage you to try agents who specialize in this genre.

Sincerely,

Agent Caroline

Christine Rose said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

Bija Andrew Wright said...

Interesting idea, but not right for me. Best of luck.

Anonymous said...

I wanna read this but sadly have only two requests left so:

Dear author,
Your manuscript is just not right for me. Thanks for querying.

sincerely,
moniza

Melissa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sending me your query, but I don't think I'm the right agent for the book. Best of luck.

Melissa


Thoughts: This has lots of voice, but I get a little confused about the plot.

beth said...

Dear Author,

Although I appreciate your submission, I'm sorry but it just isn't for me. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.

Sincerely,
beth

(Reasoning: I don't like this genre.)

:)Ash said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your interest in my agency. Unfortunately, I do not feel I am the right agent for you at this time. Best wishes as you continue your search.

Sincerely yours,

:)Ash

Casey said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your time and consideration. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent this.

I'd have to be extremely excited about a query to consider investing the time to read 129k words and this just doesn't cut it.

Best wishes,

Casey

sirayn said...

Dear X,

Thank you for your query. I’m afraid I have to pass, but I wish you luck in finding an agent who’s passionate about your work.

Today’s Agent

(Reasoning: formatting = annoying, wordcount = too long by a third. Suggests an overly verbose writing style which is borne out by the repetition in the query. Cut down the manuscript to <100k. Then rip out the generic parts of the query [is there *any* protagonist who doesn't have to fight for his life?] and replace with unique, specific details. Then requery, because I'm prepared to be interested by this.)

Chrissy said...

Dear Author,

Please send the first 30 pages of your completed manuscript to, agent@agent.com, in word format.


Kiki

Ulysses said...

Thanks for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I don't feel I am the agent to represent this work.

Harsh Critic said...

The writing seemed a bit cliched ("diabolical," for instance), and your query was too vague for me to understand the story. Or maybe I'm just tired.

Sorry, not for me.

John said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for giving me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, it's not something I think I can sell at present. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.

K. Andrew Smith said...

Dear author,

Thank you for your submission, Stealing Genius. Unfortunately, it's not quite right for me. I wish you good fortune in your quest for an agent.

Sincerely,

K. Andrew Smith

The Classic Carol said...

Dear Author:
Thanks for your query. It is our top priority to select what best matches our agency. We wish you success as you pursue an agent better suited to your work.

Cat said...

Dear Author,

thank you for submitting but it's not right for me.

Sincerely,
Cat

form rejection because 129000 words is too long for me. If it were shorter I'd consider reading it because it sounds terribly interesting.

Vicky said...

Thank you for thinking of our agency. Unfortunately this project is not right for us.

Best wishes.

super agent nicole said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to query. Unfortunately, I will have to pass due to time constraints. Although your premise seems interesting, the description did not grab me. I did like your style of writing, so please feel free to submit future projects to me.

Thank you,
Nicole

Laura said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't a good fit for me right now.

Best of luck,

Agent Laura

p.s. To the author: I really did like the opening bit of thequery, but unfortunately, it lost me a little after that. Good luck!

Belinda Frisch said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. However, I am not able to offer representation at this time.

Best Wishes,
Belinda

sraasch said...

Dear Author,

LOVE your voice! But I just don't have a place in my heart for thrillers. Sorry! Though you've probably already found representation by now ;)

Thanks!
Sara

Craven said...

Thank you for consideration, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck, Craven

Rick said...

Author-

I'd like to hear more about this work. Before I request a full manuscript, I'd like to get a feel for your writing style. Please reply with:

1. Your favorite 1000-word excerpt (and setup).
2. The first 1000 words from the middlemost chapter (and setup).
3. One-paragraph descriptions of your main characters and their motivations. I don't need histories, unless it is their history that defines their motivation, just a snapshot of how they are right now.

Please copy and paste the excerpts into the body of the email. Do not send attachments.

Thanks for your time, and for thinking of me!

Sincerely,
Rick O

Madison said...

Dear Author,

Thank you so much for submitting your work and considering me to represent it. While the story sounds quite interesting, I am afraid it does not fit my list at this point in time and I must regretfully pass. I know rejections can be hard to take, but please keep submitting and following your dream.

Best of luck in your agent hunt!

Sincerely,

Madison

Reason for rejection: Format makes it a sloppy read. While aspects of the query are interesting, nothing leaps out to make it special for me. Again, I'm disappointed because I was hoping this would be better than it was. :(

Brian Crawford said...

Thank you for sending me your work. Unfortunately, I must reject it. Don’t feel bad; I receive about 2,000 queries per week, and reject 99.99% of them. Assume I’m wrong about you. Don’t give up. In the meantime, increase your chances of success by downloading my e-book, “Kick-ass Queries,” available on my website for only $199.99.

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I will have to pass on this query.

Sincerely,
Amy

Moth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query to Moth's Literary Agency. While your story sounds interesting, I'm afraid it's just not right for us. Best of luck in your writing career.

Sincerely,
Moth

Lois Lavrisa said...

Dear Author,

While I appreciate your consideration of our agency, I will have to pass on your project.
I am sorry to say I did not have the passionate response to it that I would need to request more or offer you representation. Obviously you want an agent who will stand enthusiastically behind your work.

Additionally, given today’s publishing climate I do not believe I would be able to get you the attention from a publisher that your book deserves.

Publishing is very subjective, though, and another agent may well feel differently.

I do wish you success in finding representation and, once again, thank you for the opportunity to consider your work.

Sincerely,

Lois Lavrisa
Agent for a day

Renee Collins said...

Dear Stealing Genius,

Thanks for your query. Unfortunately, this is not quite right for me.

Best of luck,

Renee

Steve Axelrod said...

I am baffled by our query and must pass. I would suggest composing a clear, straigtforward suummary of your story before you query again.

The Writers Canvas said...

Thanks for your query, but it's not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your writing endeavors!

Elaine

(this was a great concept, just not my cup of tea)

Jenn S. said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. It's not right for me, but please keep me in mind for future submissions.

Regards,
Jenn S.


(Reason: the query started off well, and the core concept is intriguing, but I don't quite get it. How do these murders threaten Jonathan and Lew's body of work and identities? Plus the ~130,000 word count seems excessive. If sample pages were attached, I would probably read them, but I don't think I would request it. This may just be a matter of taste; the book might do well with another agent.)

Pinkie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for contacting me about your book. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s a good fit for me. I would encourage you to continue your search. Good luck with your quest.

Best,
CPK

Nik said...

Thank you for your query, but I'm going to pass at this time.

Cindy said...

Dear Author,

I appreciate your query, however this project isn't a good fit for me.

All the best,
Cindy

Getabo Publishing said...

I like the simple title, good you include the genre and word count. Not sure if credits are 'big' enough to include (as I can't check your website for names) but I assume so.

I like the idea of a single image tying things together. I like the basic idea of a 'diseased madman's diabolical trap' and the secret to protect with a quest to save a friend may not be new, but is generally popular.

Suggestions:
It reads more like a back cover of the book 'blurb' rather than a query letter. I would personally prefer to have a simpler plot outline and more precise use of language. Take out the 'desperately trying' replace with 'when x happens, Jonathan does X and Lew is torn between rescuing his friend and Y'. Show me more in fewer words. This tells me what the book is ABOUT, but not (yet) why the plot is compelling.

***
Thank you for your query. Unfortunately we do not think that your book would be a likely prospect for our list.

We regret that the large number of submissions we receive makes it impossible to offer individual comment. We believe it is more important to read and evaluate every query / submission we receive with due consideration.

We appreciate you thinking of Getabo Creative Publishing, and wish you the best of luck with your manuscript and future writing endeavors.

Sincerely.
The Editors
Getabo Creative Publishing

Cat Moleski said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query, unfortunately, I must pass on your project at this time.

Cat

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,
I received and read your query.
I'm going to pass. I was curious about the symbol carved into the victim. But, I need a little more to connect with Jonathan and Lew.

Best to you,
Agent SCL

Other Lisa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately it's not what I'm looking for. Best of luck in your search for representation, and keep writing!

Hilabeans said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. I regret to say that I don’t feel that I’m the most appropriate agent for this project.

Best wishes,

HHS

bookshop said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent submission. I regret that I am unable to offer you representation at this time. I wish you luck in your search for representation.

Regards,

Bookshop

___________


(Hi! I feel like you have a really interesting premise in here somewhere, but I didn't get a strong and cohesive sense of your plot. You spent a lot of time on action, which was good, but less time on telling me two crucial things: who are these people, and why is any of this happening?

Specifically: why are Jonathan and Lew invested in each other, and most of all, why is the little girl involved in this mess? I need to know both these things before I really get a sense of what the conflict is about here.

It seems like you have a whopper of a story to tell; don't let your emphasis on the *action* override the character dynamics. Knowing why these characters are even bothering to do any of this is how I as the reader/potential agent will care about your story.

I would consider revising your query and maybe also thinking about what the primary conflict in your story is, and how you can bring that out in your writing. And specifically think about *why* events led Jonathan and Lew to involve themselves in this nightmare!

Good luck!)

Barb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Please send me your full manuscript for further consideration.

Kind regards,
Barb

Cassandra said...

Dear Author,

I'm afraid that at this time I am unable to offer representation for your novel. This is purely a business decision, and unfortunately means that we must turn away many talented individuals. I encourage you to continue querying agents you think might be interested.

I appreciate your interest in Agent for A Day, and wish you every success in your writing career.



Regards,
Cassandra

Steph said...

Dear You,

Thanks for querying, but I'm going to pass. Remember opinions vary greatly in this business (et al) and you should query widely. Best of luck!

Steph

Tryst888 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query but I'm afraid I will have to pass on this one. Best of luck to you in your future endeavors.

Miss Lily said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for allowing me to read this query, but it's not right for me. Best of luck, and please keep me in mind for future projects.

Lily

Reason: This is something I'd normally request and read, but a thriller at 129,000 words scares me. That's longer then a lot of fantasy novels. Based on the query (The vagueness and a bit of a lack of a hook) and that word count, I'd pass.

Endless Secrets said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, although this has an intriguing idea, I am put off by the word count. I would suggest a re-write taking out anything unneccessary and re-submit it.

Best of Luck

-Lea

Dawn G. said...

Dear Author,

Unfortunately, I am unable to offer you representation at this time. The word count for this type of novel is disturbing. I am, however, intrigued by the concept.

Thank you for submitting your work for consideration. Please keep me in mind for future projects.

Kindest Regards,

D. Agent

Heather said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but it's not for me.

Good luck!
Heather

Kristine Overbrook said...

Dear Author,

Your novel sounds interesting please send me the first three chapters.

Thank you,
Agent F A Day

sally apokedak said...

Form reject and since I have no time to give feedback anymore my agency just moved to a, "if I'm interested, you'll hear from me. If you don't hear, it means I passed," policy.

Cary Louisa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but the word count is just too much for me, especially for a first time novelist.

Thanks, Cary

Gwen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest. Unfortunately, this project is not a good fit for me at the present time.

Regards,

Gwen

SammyStewart said...

Form Rejection. Too Ambiguous.

sKim said...

Thank you for letting us consider your original proposal. We regret that we must pass on it. Best of luck to you.

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit.

I regret to inform you that at this time I would like to pass on your book.

Although it sounds like it has some potential, I can't really connect with the characters; nor do I find myself wanting to know more.

Best of luck in the future,

Regards,
Agent for a Day, Bookworm Megs

Dana said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately I am not interested in representing this novel.

Regards,

Dana

Reasons: The premise sounds intriguing, but the writing was convoluted and I wasn't exactly sure what was going to happen.

Agent KES said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, I am not able to offer you representation at this time. Best of luck,

Agent KES

Barbara Webb said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sharing STEALING GENIUS, but I'm going to pass.

Best of luck!

Barbara

dhole said...

Dear Author, thanks for your query. Unfortunately, it's not right for my list, best of luck, etc.

Kavanaugh and Byrne's LA said...

Dear Author

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to consider your work at Kavanaugh and Byrne’s Literary Agency.

We do not feel that are the best match with this project.
We wish you every success with this and other ventures

Flower Kavanaugh

wickerman said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Stealing genius is not right for my needs at this time however.

Best of Luck,

The Wickerman

Garbage man, Bransford Lit

Horserider said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for allowing us to consider your work. Though the premise is interesting, I’m sorry to say that this is not something we can take on in at this time. We receive hundreds of submissions every week and, unfortunately, cannot take them all on. This is a very subjective business and I wish you luck on your journey to publication.

Sincerely,

Horserider Literary Agency

Tara Ryan said...

Dear Author,
Thank you so much for submitting your work to me. Unfortunately, Stealing Genius is not a good fit for me at this time. I wish you much luck in your writing endeavors.
Agent-for-a-day

Jen C said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to the Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever. I regret that, at this time, your project is not quite what I’m looking for. I wish you the best of luck in your continuing search for representation.
Sincerely,
Jen C.

ikmar said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. Sorry, but it is not for me.

Sincerely,
Agent for the Day

Kelly Guentner said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for the query. I was intrigued by the story enough that I saved decision on this for later. In the end, I believe that if I couldn't decide right away, I am not the right agent to represent your work with the enthusiasm it deserves.

I believe that you will have no problem finding a home for your manuscript and wish you luck in your future writing endeavors.

Sincerely,
Kelly Guentner

Disgruntled Bear said...

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately I am going to have to pass at this time.
I wish you the best of luck with another agent.

Sincerely,
Agent

EJ Lange said...

Author,

Thank you for your query. Your plot gives me a feeling of a Dan Brown novel, and if the writing is good, I'm sure you will be selling books in no time. That said, I am simply unable to take on any more material at this time. If you do not find representation elsewhere, I hope you will query me again at a later date. Best of Luck!

Agent Erin

Anonymous said...

No thank you. Best of luck in your endeavors.

-Agent Pro Tempore

StrugglingToMakeIt said...

Dear Stealing Genius,

You have captured my interest with your query. Please send me the first three chapters of your manuscript and a synopsis as an email attachment.

Thank You,

Agent

(I'd like to know more about the protagonist and his motivations, but there's enough here for me to request more.)

Adam Heine said...

This sounds interesting, but there's not enough in the query for me to be able to make a decision. Specifically, don't hide the ending. What's the man's diabolical trap? What are the secrets?

I'm sorry. This doesn't sound right for me. Thank you for submitting.

Melinda said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but unfortunately this project isn't right for me. Best of luck in your search for representation.

Sincerely,

Melinda

Kristi said...

Thank you for your query. I don't feel this is right for me but I wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,
Kristi

Meg Trotter said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Though parts of your query are vauge, it sounds like your story could be something I would be interested in. I would like to read your first three chapters.
Sincerely,
Megan

Jeanne Tomlin said...

Interesting concept but not for me. thanks.

CJK said...

Thank you for your query. I am not interested in further materials on this work. Good luck with your search for representation. CJK

Soratian said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query, but I'm afraid it's a no for me. I don't represent this genre.

Thanks,
Soratian

(Comments: pitch needs polishing, some grammar things were also off-putting e.g. "robinhoods")

Katy said...

Thank you for your submission. However, the premise does not grab me, and therefore I will have to pass on this project.
Best of luck,
Katy

Eden said...

Thanks for the opportunity but I'm afraid I'll have to pass on representing this piece.

Best of luck with your writing.

~Eden

Patti K. said...

Thank you for your submission. The premise for your book sounds very promising but it is not the kind of work that I represent. Good luck on your quest for the perfect agent.

Patti K.

Leslie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query and submission. "Stealing Genius" shows promise but I cannot review it at this time. Other agents will no doubt find it to their liking. I wish you all the best in your publishing career.

Best regards, Leslie

Polenth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. As your story didn't resonate with me, I'm going to have to pass.

--
Polenth

KathyF said...

Dear Author of Query #12,

Thanks for your query. I found STEALING GENIUS quite intriging. Please send me a synopsis and the first three chapters as your earliest convenience.

KathyF

Pap said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in my agency. However, I will not be requesting any further materials from you at this time. Please note that submissions are a very subjective business and my comments are not a critique on your writing ability. I strongly encourage you to continue your search for an agent and wish you all the best.

Your sincerely,

Make-believe Agency

MK said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your submission. After careful consideration, I've decided this manuscript isn't for us at this time.

Good luck with your search.

Best,
Agent For a Day

PPP said...

Dear Author,

What's the secret? What's the secret??

Actually, I don't want to know. Because then I'LL be next.

So I'll have to pass.

Signed,
PPP

Mystery Robin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I am not the right agent for this book. Best of luck!

Robin

Sage said...

Dear SG,

Sounds interesting, but not right for me. Another agent may feel differently.

Thanks,
Sage

Selene said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for contacting Selene Literary. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that this project is not right for us. We wish you the best of luck in finding an agent that is as enthusiastic about this book as it deserves.

Best regards,
Selene Da Agent
Selene Literary

austere said...

Dear Author #12

Appreciate reading your story, but this doesn’t fit into the genre that I represent.

Good luck with your writing.

Regards,

ps- You'd need a darn good editor to work with someone like this.

Julie Weathers said...

Dear Author,

There were interesting points in your submission, but I’m afraid I can’t offer representation. This is a subjective business, and what appeals to one reader doesn’t always appeal to another. With my current workload, I have to be very discriminating and take on only projects I am passionate about.

I urge you to continue your quest to be published and wish you the best of luck.

Sincerely,

J.M. Agent


(Would like you to tighten the focus and show more specifics. By honing in on just a few things, I think it brings more punch.)

Sol said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your letter. Although your overview is intriguing, I am unable to request a partial at this time.

Kind regards,

Sol Nima

Side note: As a reader, I would flip to the middle and read a few paragraphs to get a sense of the direction your writing takes (rhythm/pacing) with consideration for purchase. As a pretend agent for the day, I worry about the length and will have to let my personal reader's questions go unanswered. I may have misinterpreted entirely, but will still suggest you take a second look at your overview (I think it reads find on the back of a book jacket... but....) it doesn't give me a sense of the rhythm/pacing and without that I cannot tell if it might feel too long to a reader or not...good luck!

Nay said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.
I found aspects of your story very intriguing, however I am not convinced that it is the right project for me.
I’m sure your project will find a home somewhere.
Best of luck to you

-Nay

theflightytemptress said...

Dear Stealing Genius,

Thank you for your submission, but unfortunately it’s not for me. Publishing is a very subjective business, though, and another agent may feel differently. Best of luck on your continued search.

Writing was good and suspenseful, but the plot isn't explained very well.

Yours,

Kat Brauer

Joy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission and your interest in using me as an agent. After taking some time to consider your material, I have decided that this isn't right for me.

Best of luck in your writing endeavors,

Joy

Reasoning: The query could be more concise. The beginning rambles, but the end is good and tight. Keep working on it; it's a great start.

JuJu said...

Dear Author,

Though your project shows some promise and sounds interesting, unfortunately it is just not the right one for me. Please keep in mind that appeal as a novel is entirely subjective – so keep at it!

Sincerely,
JuJu

JuJu said...

Dear Author,

Though your project shows some promise and sounds interesting, unfortunately it is just not the right one for me. Please keep in mind that appeal as a novel is entirely subjective – so keep at it!

Sincerely,
JuJu

JuJu said...

Dear Author,

Though your project shows some promise and sounds interesting, unfortunately it is just not the right one for me. Please keep in mind that appeal as a novel is entirely subjective – so keep at it!

Sincerely,
JuJu

JuJu said...

Sorry for posting multiple times, my computer went into major lag mode and I double-clicked the 'post button' several times, and you can see the result.

Annie said...

I'd pass.

Reason: the query is poorly formatted, and the sentences don't flow for me. 'The symbol was the same as the other two'. What other two? It makes me think I'll find similar issues in the book itself.

Jessumby said...

Dear Author

Thank you for sending me your query. I regret to inform you that it does not suit the needs of my list at this time.

Regards, Jessumby

writtenwyrdd said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your query. Would you please send me the first fifty pages of your novel as an .rtf attachment? Thank you.

Sincerely,
Agent

Reasons: While the query wasn't all that wonderful, it did make me think that the plot was different enough to be worth seeing the writing.

K.D. said...

Query12

Dear Author,

Thank your for your query. Unfortunately, I don't think your project sounds right for me.

Sincerely,

Agent K.D.

Notes: I'm not a big fan of thrillers. If this was a movie, I'd watch it. I wouldn't invest enough energy to rep it, though.

Brigita said...

Thank you for sending me your query. Unfortunately, this project is not right for me. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.

thin said...

Dear Author,
While it seems like an interesting premise for a book, I'm sorry to say that I cannot take on the project. Thank you for considering me, and best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
Thin

RW said...

Dear Author:

Thank you very much for your query. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to consider your work for representation. As you know, it’s a competitive market these days, and I don’t believe I have the right relationships to sell this project successfully. I do wish you luck in finding an agent and thank you for considering me.

Yours truly,

RW

Poppy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I am afraid that your work is not right for me at this time, however I would urge you to continue to submit to other agents: this is a subjective business.

Agent

Kats said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately Stealing Genius is not the right fit for me at this time.

Best,
Agent for the Day, Kats

* If there were pages attached to this (and I wasn't limited to only requesting 5!) I would've read them as I liked the voice, but found the query to be a bit vague as it stands.

Deniz Bevan said...

Thank you for your query, but I wouldn't be the right agent in this instance.
I wish you luck finding the right home for your work.
Sincerely,
Ms Agent Agency

Sun Up said...

Dear Author,

Interesting premise, but not really what I'm looking for. Another agent may be able to do this more justice than I myself would be able to do.

Best regards,
Alicia

Sarah Laurenson said...

Form rejection.


I didn't get a real sense of what was going on. Just a plot point here and there with no connection and no explanation for certain things in the query.

kdrausin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I was intrigued by your query however at this time my client list is full.

I wish you luck on your writing journey.

Sincerely,

KDrausin (liked it!)

Mercy Loomis said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me on your novel Stealing Genius. I regret that I am unable to represent you at this time.

Sincerely,
Mercy Loomis

Feedback:
Condense your summary down to one paragraph. You have some great material here. I'd center your summary around "Caught in a diseased madman's diabolical trap, Jonathan is spirited halfway across the globe where he has to fight for his life, his daughter and both friend and foe alike, with Lew desperately trying to come to the rescue." Just start it off with who Jon and Lew are and why the murders threaten them - and include why this threatens Jon's daughter, because even with the longer summary I still don't know why they think she's a target.

Everything after the summary is perfect except one thing - the word count. I was at a writer's conference recently and all the agents on the discussion panel agreed that, particularly for a first novel, the word count should be less than 100,000, and ideally between 75,000 and 85,000. They were willing to dismiss a novel based purely on this number. It might be well worth your time to try and see if there is some tightening up you can do without damaging the plot.

Jabez said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not believe I am the best agent to represent your manuscript. Best of luck in your quest for publication.

Dale - Las Vegas said...

Thank you for your submission but it doesn't seem right for me at this time.

Good luck in the future.

Sherry Ficklin said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for thinking of me, but I'm going to have to pass. Best of luck finding another agent!

Sincerely, Agent Faux

Jenn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but unfortunately your story is not for me at this time.

Sincerely,
Fake Agent

Janeal C. Falor said...

Thank you for the opportunity to look at you work. Unfortunately, I don't feel this is the right project for me.

Lipstick Lizzie said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for the chance to look at your work. Unfortunately, I don’t think I’m the right agent for this project.

Best of luck,
Lizzie

Tree said...

Dear Author:
I want to thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. Unfortunately, I did not connect well enough with your project to pursue it further. As I'm sure you know, agenting is a very subjective business. Although your project didn't fit with my particular list, another agent may respond very differently.
Please accept my best wishes for success in your writing career and finding the perfect advocate for your work.
Sincerely,
Tree

educlaytion said...

Based on the query I have to pass. Your credentials are certainly impressive, but this idea isn't up my alley. Best of luck.

lucy in the sky said...

I would like to read more. Please send the first 30 pages of your manuscript.

Janny said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me with STEALING GENIUS. The beginning of your query letter has a great "hook" to it, and there's some potential to the premise; however, the story as you've sketched it here doesn't sound fresh or innovative in its genre, and so I will be taking a pass on it. However, do bear in mind that what doesn't "grab" one agent may be just what another one likes, so I wish you the best of luck in placing this elsewhere.

Thanks again,
Janny

Fawn Neun said...

Thank you for sending in your query for consideration. We have looked it over carefully, but do not feel it meets our agency needs at this time. We do not represent thriller/suspense novels.

Thank you for offering the opportunity and best of luck,

Fawn

L.C. Gant said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission, but I'm afraid your story isn't right for me.

Although the writing voice is strong and I find the premise intriguing, this story isn't quite unique enough to hook me.

Take heart, however--another agent may feel differently. Good luck on your continued search for representation.

Best wishes,

L.C. Gant (Agent for a Day)

Laurie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I have decided to decline representing you for this manuscript.

I think you have a very compelling story line and you made it to the second round in my consideration, and the only reason I am declining is the mandatory limit of only accepting five manuscripts.

Best of luck to you! I'm sure you will find representation soon.

Laurie

Fairduncan said...

Dear Author

Thanks for querying us. I regret I have to pass on this one, but wish you every success in finding representation.

Cordially Yours,
Agent

Reesha said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. I am intrigued by your query. Please send me the first 30 pages of your manuscript for further review.
Reesha

Amethyst Greye Alexander said...

Dear Author,

I've reviewed your query but am afraid your project isn't a good fit with the works I represent. I hope you won't let this discourage you, however, as every agent has different tastes and you're sure to find representation that will better suit your needs.

Thank you for considering me.
Amethyst Adams

Anonymous said...

Form Rejection.

Agent DC

Heather Harper said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. After careful consideration, I regret that I’m unable to request your manuscript at this time.

Best,
Agent for a day

Wandering Spirit said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit your query. Unfortunately I am unable to offer you representation at this time. However, all writing is of value and I wish you the best in your endeavours.

Best wishes

Agent for a Day

Maryann Miller said...

So sorry, but this is not right for us. Good luck placing it elsewhere.

Venus Vaughn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I was very interested by your submission and hope you continue to pursue your writing career as you have some good ideas and an intriguing voice. Though I liked your project, ultimately it is not something I will be able to devote the right amount of energy towards.

I encourage you to hone your craft and keep submitting. Just because this isn't the right project for me, that doesn't mean you won't find representation elsewhere.

Best of luck,

~Venus Vaughn

Savannah Pens said...

Dear Author: Thank you for your query. However, I am passing. Best wishes. Savannah Pens Agent

Nifaerie Noven said...

Hi,

Great query. Unfortunately, your work is a bit too long for your genre. I can not represent you at this time.

Best of luck.

Gregory said...

Dear Author;

Form rejection.

Cordially,

Agent Gregory

[This one came close. Made my finals list. The query isn't bad. Better than most. The problem, as others have mentioned, is the topic/plot. Very similar to so much else out there. So given the restrictions, I have to pass.]

Merry Monteleone said...

Agent for the day

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in The Only Literary Agency Insane Enough To Trust Me With Queries. Unfortunately, I'm going to have to pass.

Best of luck,

Merry

EJN said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, I could not get enough of a sense of the plot, characters, and tone of your work from the query, and will reluctantly have to pass on requesting further materials.

Best of luck,
Agent EJN

KareFree Kennels said...

Stealing Genius


Sorry, not for me.

Best of luck,
Sheryl

Elizabeth said...

Dear Author --

While your story sounds promising, time constraints stop me from requesting further material. However, please keep me in mind for future projects.

Best Regards,

Agent Elizabeth

Lucy said...

Dear Author: Thank you for contacting us. Unfortunately, we do not feel that we are a suitable agency to represent your work. We wish you every success in your search for an agent. Sincerely, L. C.

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