Nathan Bransford, Author


Monday, April 13, 2009

Be An Agent for a Day: Query #10

This query is part of the Be an Agent for a Day contest. Rules and Regulations here

Please post your rejection or manuscript request in the comment section!



Dear Agent for a Day,

We know of five. You can count them on one hand – five people walking this planet harboring extra-terrestrial DNA.

Raymond Russ, a mild-mannered analyst for British Intelligence has a broken heart and a drinking problem, but when he discovers a gaping hole in the inventory of a secret lab he’s closing down, he quickly sounds an alarm heard from England to DC.

A young scientist at the lab has used alien tissue to treat infertility, thus producing five remarkable individuals over a 30-year period: a concert violinist, a Wal-Mart clerk, a brilliant mathematician, a professor of literature, and a world-famous rock star. They’re unaware that their lives could be shattered at any moment by a military assault team – or by discovering abilities they never dreamed possible. Determined to prevent them from being rounded up and dissected like lab rats, Russ is forced to work with Amanda Walker, the official tasked with threat assessment and a woman he considers the lesser of two evils.

My 90,000-word thriller, ON ONE HAND, follows a man in search of redemption as he tries to save the innocent while not dooming the world.

This is my first novel. The full manuscript is available upon request.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
Author

STATS: 52% request rate






372 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 372   Newer›   Newest»
Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, your book isn't right for me. Agenting is subjective, though, and I wish you the best of luck!

Sincerely,
Megan

Agent X said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent query. Please send the first 50 pages of ON ONE HAND as a Word document attached to this e-mail.

Sincerely,

Agent X

Derek said...

This idea sounds like it might have some potential. May I see a sample of the writing?

Agent For A Day.

Thomas said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not appropriate for my current need as I do not handle science fiction. I advise you to query widely and I wish you luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,
Tally

JSB said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I would like to see more of this piece. Please send the first 50 pages attached as a Word document or .rtf.

Thank you,

JSB

Cat said...

Dear Author,

thank you for submitting but it's not right for me.

Sincerely,
Cat

form rejection because it is too similar to something I read recently. I don't see the unique twist in this story.

Scott said...

Dear Author,

I would be happy to read the first three chapters of ON ONE HAND.

Thank you for thinking of me,

Scott


(reason): it's an original twist on a popular convention and the query is very well written.

hannah said...

Dear Author,

Your query sounds interesting, but I'm afraid I'm having trouble seeing how this manuscript would stand out in the current market. Thanks for thinking of me, and best of luck elsewhere.

hannah

Sophie W. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matilda McCloud said...

Thanks for your query. I'm afraid I'll have to pass on this one.

Keep writing!

With my very best regards,

Matilda McCloud

Sophie W. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lesleylsmith said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query letter.
Unfortunately, your novel is not a good fit for me.
Good luck!
-Lesley
p.s. The story seems a little cliched.

AgentMan said...

Pages. Now!

Josephine Damian said...

OOOh, you had me at the first line.

Strong voice, clearly states who is MC, what's their problem.

No need to say "this is my first novel" - best leave that unsaid, otherwise...

Request for full manuscript!

Chanelley said...

Thank you for submitting your query. Unfortunately, it is not what I’m looking for at this time. However, do continue to query widely. After all, it does only take one agent to say yes!
All the best,
Agent for the day

reader said...

Please email me the first fifty pages as an attachment, and put REQUESTED MATERIAL in the email subject line.

I'll get back to you once I've had a chance to review -- two/four weeks.

(clear, concise writing, large themes but specific and diverse people. whoever's this is -- great job!!!)

Chuck H. said...

Dear Author,

Sounds great! Send me the full manuscript.

Sincerely,

Chuck

David said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your project doesn't sound right for me.

Sincerely,
David

Keri Ford said...

This sounds fantastic and I would love to read the full! Please send as a WORD attachment.

thanks, Keri

TheDivaAgent said...

Tess Gerritsen, Is that You?

Dear Author,

Please forward your manuscript ASAP. I'm getting married in a year and my credit cards are taking a hit. I'm going to need that royalty check 6 months from now. I called my friend, Beneatha, over at Flubbing & DownaBit. She'll buy. Her list is thin and layoffs are looming.

From your new best friend,

The Diva Agent

Melina said...

Dear Author,

Not interesting enough. I would close the book in a second.

Thanks,

Melina

A Gent said...

Dear Author,
Thanks but no thanks. Too much going on without no real specifics.

Best,
A Gent

jane doherty said...

Not for me, thanks.

(repetition in query suggests repetition in narrative.)

Onovello said...

Dear Author:

This sounds interesting. Please send the book!

All the best,
Onovello

Kitti said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I am intrigued - would you please send me a Word document of the first fifty pages of ON ONE HAND?

Cheers,
Kitti

ai-hua said...

Sounds neat, sounds interesting... but I'm not really one for paranormal books, and even if this were by Stephen King it would come down to "was it in the bargain bin?" as a reader. Rejected with a personal note, or passed on to someone who would enjoy representing it (if I knew of someone like that).

Bane of Anubis said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for submitting your story, but it's not for me. Best of luck,

Bane

(reasoning: this one was a bit harder; I might request pages if I weren't limited to 5 submissions - I like the premise and the writing is strong enough, but I feel like the plot is a bit too forced for my taste - e.g., the everyday Alien represented by Joe Wal-Mart - did he get the slacker DNA compared to the other 4?).

Anonymous said...

Dear Author: Sounds intriguing. Please send sample chapters and a synopsis.

Agent99

Reasons: Good opening line, good hook, short and succinct letter, page count, it is complete.

scj said...

Sounds like a great premise and not your typical alien story, and the query has a great voice to it. Please send the first three chapters so I can take a look.

Karen said...

Dear Author,

I am intrigued by your premise. Please send the first 30 pages of your manuscript as a word.doc attachment.

Thank you,
Karen

Rick Daley said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, I would like to read more. Please email me the first 50 pages of your manuscript at your earliest convenience. Word 97-2003 (.doc) or 2007 format (.docx) are acceptable.

I usually respond to partials within 2 weeks. If you do not hear from me in that time frame, feel free to follow up.

Regards,

Daley Agent for a Day

jimnduncan said...

Please send the first 30 pages as an attached word document. Include the original query in the email and please put "requested material" in the subject heading. I look forward to reading your sample pages.

(Reason: this has potential. It might be too "same old, same old" but there's enough voice and possibilities here that I would check out some pages)

Monika said...

This sounds interesting. Please send me the draft via email to requested_full@fakeemail.com.

Feel free to send me a status email at the same address if you haven't heard back within two month.

[Love it, but I asked for the full because I worry that this sounds a little too much like Bladerunner. Automatic rejection if I find out the girl is an alien half way though and/or the hero is an alien at the end.]

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Please respond to this email with the first 50 pages of ON ONE HAND attached as a word document.

Best regards,
Agent for a Day

[Interesting premise; good query, tightly written.]

Kristan said...

I would totally request this. (Yes, again, breaking the rules. It's faster.)

David de Beer said...

Dear Author,

I'm afraid I'm going to pass but thank you for your interest.

Sincerely,
David de Beer

PurpleClover said...

i would totally read this book


Dear Author:

Please send me the full manuscript.

Regards,
PC


Reasons: I can feel the tension building just from the query. I think he can deliver. Didn't waste time getting to the point. Didn't blubber on about himself or compare the book to best sellers.

Libby Martin said...

Dear Agent,
Thank you for your query.
Although I do not usually represent this genre, your query has intrigued me. Please send the first fifty pages of ON ONE HAND as a Word document, along with the original query to libbymartin@musingliterary.com.

Have a fabulous day!

Love,
Libby.

7-iron said...

another tough one.
I like the query, but the crux of the story is not (i don't think) well represented in this query.

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your proposal for On One Hand. Unfortunately, I cannot offer you representation, at this time.
Yours,
7-iron.

If these 5 mutants are unaware of their own predicament, where's the tension? How exactly is redemption at stake for Raymond? Is Raymond the "young scientist at the lab [who] has used alien tissue to treat infertility" or is that another character? I could see how redemption might fit that character. Is Amanda the love interest? Who is she and why should we care?

jjdebenedictis said...

Dear Author,

I'm very excited about your query for ON ONE HAND. It sounds like a gripping read with a fascinating premise.

Please send me the first three chapters of TITLE, as well as an SASE and sufficient postage for me to return your pages to you later. You should hear back from me within two weeks.

I'm really looking forward to reading your work!

Sincerely,
J. J. DeGoblin

DeadlyAccurate said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your query and I apologize for this form reply.

I regret I have to pass on many interesting projects due to time constraints. I wish you the best of luck in securing representation elsewhere.


Sincerely,

DeadlyAccurate

Reason: (I like the plot, but I'm not sure the writing is strong enough).

K.D. said...

Dear Author,

Thank your for your query. Unfortunately, I don't think your project sounds right for me.

Sincerely,

Agent K.D.

Notes: The first line reminds me of Battlestar Galactia. It's well written, just not my cuppa.

quixotic said...

Thank you for your submission. Although I normally do not represent Science Fiction, this query caught my eye. Please send me a 2 page synopsis as well as the first three chapters of your manuscript (attached as a word document).

Sincerely,
Quixotic

brian_ohio said...

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this isn't right for me.

Best,

Brian

Lucy Ammunition said...

Dear Author,
Please note, I am NOT a real agent.
I do not have the skills or the patience.
There are very skilled, kind agents out there.
I admire them.
How they don't get overwhelmed with all these submissions just ASTOUNDS me!!!!
Okay, back to your submission:
I LOVE IT!
Send it SAP!
I can't wait to read!

Kindest regards,

Lucy Ammunition
Fictitious Agent

Dara said...

Dear ON ONE HAND,

Your premise and voice are intriguing. Please send me the first three chapters of your novel in response to this email.

Thank you,

Dara

JuJu said...

Dear Author,

Your novel, ON ONE HAND, and query are both: well written, formatted and well thought out. If you are interested, I would like to have a partial of your manuscript to read, revise, and consider taking on as a full-fledged project.

Best wishes,
JuJu

suki said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm afraid this project isn't right for me. I wish you luck in your search for representation.

Regards,
Suki


Reasoning: It just didn't hook me. Maybe because the protagonist seemed like the least interesting character of those described. But I just wasn't hooked.

Flemmily said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I'd like to read more, if I may. Could you please email the first three chapters of ON ONE HAND to me?

Thank you,

~Flemmily

Jeni said...

Dear On One Hand,
Thank you for your query. I’d be delighted to read more. Please e-mail the first three chapters of your book and a synopsis to me as Word attachments. I will do my best to respond to your work within one month.
I look forward to reading your work!
Sincerely,
Jeni

Dorine White said...

Dear Author,

Sounds interesting. Please send the first 3 chapters as a Word doc.

Best,
Agent for a day

Gryph said...

Dear Author,

Thank you very much for your query. I'm interested to see more! Please send me the first three chapters to blahblah at blahblah dot com. Either Microsoft Word format, OpenOffice format, or rich text would be fine.

Thank you very much for considering me!

Agent Gryph

selestial-owg said...

Dear Author,

Your premise is interesting. Please send me the first three chapters and a detailed synopsis.

Selestial


Loved the hook. I find it interesting that the man who sounded the alarm is the one trying to protect these people. The only thing that threw me was "sounds an alarm heard from England to DC." You mean it echoed over the Atlantic? Not many people living there :P Doesn't matter though, I'd still give it a chance.

Lisa R said...

Dear On One Hand:

Thank you for your query. Please forward your manuscript as a Microsoft Word attachment. Thank you.

Lisa R

romoak said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. While aspects of this story are intriguing, this story is not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your continued efforts.

-- I'm not getting a zing from this. While the concept is intriguing, I think the writing needs to be perked up. There's too much info here, and not enough reference to other things (to me).

Eva Ulian said...

Though your query shows potential and it could catch the eye of the right agent, I'm afraid it is not right for me.

ccallicotte4 said...

Dear Author,

I'm intrigued. Will you please send me the first 50 pages as an attachment? Please put "requested materials" in the subject line.

Sincerely,
Carol

bridge said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your query. I love the premise and it sounds like an interesting story. Will you please send the first fifty pages?
Sincerely,
Bridge

On a personal note, I almost passed because the query bogs down after the opening and if I were reading hundreds of queries I would have passed on it, but the beginning and the premise are things I would actually read in a book so I thought that I would take a shot, but the opening chapters would have to wow me. I would tighten up the query a bit, shorten it, keep the voice from the beginning, not so much information and back story. Great idea:)
Bridge

Jenn Johansson said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I'm intrigued. Please send me the first 50 pages along with the original query in a .doc attachment.

JR

Caroline said...

Dear Author:

Your work doesn't sound like something I could successfully represent.

Sincerely,

Agent Caroline

Christine Rose said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck,
Agent for a Day

Bija Andrew Wright said...

Your idea has promise, but I don't think it's quite there. Keep me in mind for future projects, or if you significantly revise this work, but on this draft it's a no.

Reesha said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. I would like to see more of your work. Please send me the complete manuscript of ON ONE HAND.
Reesha

Melissa said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for sending my your query letter. Please send the first 50 pages of ON ONE HAND to pretendagent@gmail.com.

Melissa

Thoughts: Yikes, two in a row. I'm not cheating by looking ahead, so I may regret this later, but I think it has a chance of being a decent book.

Casey said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your time and consideration. Unfortunately, I’m afraid I’m not the right agent to represent ON ONE HAND.

Best wishes,

Casey

Anonymous said...

ooh this sounds cool. Love the story. I just cannot ask for the manuscript though so:


Dear author,
Your manuscript is just not right for me. Thanks for querying.

sincerely,
moniza

Necessary Writer said...

Please send first 50 pages!

sirayn said...

Dear X,

Thank you for your query. I’m afraid I have to pass, but I wish you luck in finding an agent who’s passionate about your work.

Today’s Agent

(Reasoning: this query is well-written and 90% there, but isn't hitting the exact right spot. The huge middle paragraph gets too far away from the protagonist and his personal goal and conflict. Tweak the query to stay focused on Raymond.)

Chrissy said...

Dear Author,

Please send your first 30 pages to agent@agent.com, in word format.

kiki

Joy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission and your interest in using me as an agent. After taking some time to consider your material, I have decided that this isn't right for me.

The premise is interesting and appears to have great potential, but for now, it's just a personal preference to pass. I would encourage you to query other agents. You've got a great start here.

Best of luck in your writing endeavors,

Joy

Reasoning: Nathan's suggested that an agent needs to be really in love and excited about a book to make that book all that it can be. While I'm definitely interested in this story, it's just not something I would love and be able to really fight for, but I definitely think someone else could!

John said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for giving me the chance to consider your work. Unfortunately, it's not something I think I can sell at present. I wish you the best of luck in your writing career.

K. Andrew Smith said...

Dear author,

Thank you for your submission, On One Hand. Unfortunately, it's not quite right for me. I wish you good fortune in your quest for an agent.

Sincerely,

K. Andrew Smith

Harsh Critic said...

Your query letter is confusing, with too many characters described in such a short letter.

However, the premise sounds fascinating.

Please send me the manuscript.

Vicky said...

Thank you for thinking of our agency. Unfortunately this project is not right for us.

Best wishes.

Owl Sprite said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for sending me the query for "On One Hand." It was very well-written and humorous. I especially liked the line "save the innocent while not dooming the world."

I love your premise, and if I were a real agent I would probably ask for a partial. But since I'm not a real agent and I'm only allowed to pick 3 for the contest, I'm going to have to reluctantly pass this one up.

Congratulations on sending in such a great query!

Best wishes in your search for representation,

Belinda Frisch said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interesting query, however, my client list is full and I feel this project is just not a good fit for me.

I wish you the best in placing this with another agent.

Sincerely,
"Agent For A Day"

super agent nicole said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I am extremely interested in your novel. Please forward your manuscript to me at your earliest convenience.

Thank you,
Nicole

Note: I hope this is one of the ones that was actually published because I really want to read it!

beth said...

Dear Author,

Although I appreciate your submission, I'm sorry but it just isn't for me. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors.

Sincerely,
beth

(Reasoning: This one is solid. I like the concept, I like the query.)

Rick said...

Author-

Sorry, but I don't represent Sci Fi/Fantasy. (Also, if your character of Amanda Walker is the pushy female head of a top secret gov't organization, you may want to do some research into Amanda Waller, a similar character from DC Comics, just to be sure they won't think you're stepping on their toes.)

If you have not already, you may want to check out AgentQuery. It can help you find an Agent who best suits your needs.

http://www.agentquery.com/

Sincerely,
Rick O

Craven said...

Thank you for consideration, but this isn't right for me at this time.

Best of luck, Craven

Nixy Valentine said...

Dear Author:

I was hesitant to request pages at first because I'd requested one already, so I put your query aside and have now gone up through #27. I keep coming back to it, and I can't make myself write up a rejection.

So, yes, I'd want to see more pages of this. I like it!

Note: I would, however, remove the cliché "mild mannered"... actually I'd scan the whole thing for clichés like gaping holes, sounding alarms, never dreaming things possible, lesser of two evils, etc.

Madison said...

I have to set this one aside and think about it. Not sure. Will post decision when it's made.

sraasch said...

Dear Author,

I don't even like thrillers, but I must read this. First five chapters, please!

Thanks!
Sara

Brian Crawford said...

Thank you for sending me your work. Unfortunately, I must reject it. Don’t feel bad; I receive about 2,000 queries per week, and reject 99.99% of them. Assume I’m wrong about you. Don’t give up. In the meantime, increase your chances of success by downloading my e-book, “Kick-ass Queries,” available on my website for only $199.99.

Amy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I find the story idea in your query fascinating, and would like to request the first twenty pages of your manuscript.

Sincerely,
Amy

Anonymous said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your recent letter concerning your work. I am afraid that we are not enthusiastic enough about your work to pursue it further.

We wish you the best of luck in finding suitable representation.

Sincerely
The Fake Agency

:)Ash said...

Dear Author:

Please send the first three chapters of your novel as a Word doc to ash@agency.net.

Sincerely yours,

:)Ash

EMC07 said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. I'm interested in reading more. Great hook. Please send the first 3 chapters of your manuscript.


Sincerely,
emc

kaseee said...

Author--sounds good. Send me a copy as word.doc. I'll get back to you shortly.

Agent

BJ said...

I like it. Please send the first three chapters.- BJ

~Jamie said...

DA:

Your story sounds interesting, however, I am not the right agent for this. Good Luck!

Thanks,
~Jamie

The Writers Canvas said...

Thanks for your query, but it's not right for me at this time. Best of luck to you in your writing endeavors!

Elaine

Nik said...

Your story sounds intriguing. Please send me the first 50 pages.

Cat Moleski said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for your submission. I am interested in reading more. Please send me the first fifty pages.

Cat

Hilabeans said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to consider your work. I regret to say that I don’t feel that I’m the most appropriate agent for this project.

Best wishes,

HHS

Barb said...

Dear Author,

Thanks you for your submission, but this is not for me. I wish you luck in finding a home for your manuscript.

All the best,
Barb

Jessumby said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. Please send the first three chapters by email.

Regards, Jessumby

Cassandra said...

Dear Author,

I'm afraid that at this time I am unable to offer representation for your novel. This is purely a business decision, and unfortunately means that we must turn away many talented individuals. I encourage you to continue querying agents you think might be interested.

I appreciate your interest in Agent for A Day, and wish you every success in your writing career.



Regards,
Cassandra

Dawn G. said...

Dear Author,

At your earliest convenience, please send the first three chapters of your manuscript to my
attention.

If you do not receive a reply from me within six weeks, please feel free to contact me.

Kindest Regards,
D. Agent

Tryst888 said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for submitting your query but I'm afraid I will have to pass on this one. Best of luck to you in your future endeavors.

Endless Secrets said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, unfortuanely your book is not right for me.

Bes of luck

-Lea

Miss Lily said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for allowing me to read this query, but it's not right for me. Best of luck, and please keep me in mind for future projects.

Lily

Reason: It sounds more like sci-fi then a thriller, in my opinion. Not something I'd feel passionate about.

Heather said...

Dear Author,

I would love to see the first fifty pages of On One Hand. Please attach the file with a short synopsis to this email string.

Thanks,
Heather

sally apokedak said...

Dear Author,

Please send me your novel as an email attachment.

Agent

Cary Louisa said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. While I am intrigued, I don't think the project is right for my current market.

Thanks,
Cary

Kristine Overbrook said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but it’s not what we are looking to represent at this time.

Thank you,
Agent F A Day

I'm very close to interested in this, but the query writing isn't tight.

SammyStewart said...

Form Rejection

sKim said...

Your query sounds intriguing. Please send the manuscript for our review.

Megan said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to submit.

Your novel sounds interesting and I would like to read more.

If you could please send me the first fifty pages via email.

Regards,
Agent for a Day, Bookworm Megs

Dana said...

Dear Author,

I am quite intrigued. Please send me the first 50 pages of your novel as soon as you can.

Regards,

Dana

Reasons: interesting storyline- sounds like something many would be interested in, especially with all the hullabaloo about infertility and whatnot with Octomom. I'd be interested to see if the writing is good.

Dave said...

Thanks for thinking of me, but I’m sorry to say that I have to pass. Good luck in your hunt for representation, and don’t get discouraged!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Madison said...

Dear Author,

Thank you so much for your submission. I am interested in your project. Please mail me a hard copy of your complete manuscript. You need not include a SASE for reply as I will contact you through e-mail. Please also note that your manuscript will not be returned and should I pass it will be shredded.

I look forward to reading your work!

Sincerely,

Madison

Reason for accepting: Couldn't quit thinking about it. Too curious to reject.

Calli said...

Dear Author,

I have received your query for On One Hand. Please send the first three chapters and a synopsis for further review.

Regards,
Calli
_____
(Side note: Solid query for what looks -- to my eye at least -- like a salable SF thriller. I'm not overly interested (I've kind of drifted away from SF over the years), but I'm not repulsed either, and it sounds like something that would do well. A partial might be enough to win me over completely.)

Sooki Scott said...

This has the makings of a great read. Send me a full.

Agent KES said...

Dear Author,

Please send first 50 pages. I look forward to reading more.

Sincerely,
Agent KES

Lynne Connolly said...

Interesting. Please email the full manuscript and synopsis.

spinney said...

Great. Please send me the first 50pp.

AgentGril

Horserider said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for allowing us to consider your work. I couldn't really get a feel for the plot and main character, but the premise is interesting. Unfortunately, I will have to pass at this time. I wish you luck as you continue on the journey to publication.

Sincerely,

Horserider Literary Agency

Gregory said...

Dear Author;

Please send a 30-page partial and a detailed synopsis. Thank you.

Cordially,

Agent Gregory

[Excellent query. Good hook. Lays out a solid potential plot/story. Normally I wouldn't go for "alien tissue" but you got me! It's not the tissue, of course, but the characters. I almost care about them already. What happens to them? What happens when they find out their true potential? And what IS their true potential? All great themes, applicable allegorically to all of us. I want to see this one! Great job!]

Gwen said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for taking the time to query me. I find your idea intriguing, and would be very willing to read more.
Please re-send your query in the body of the email, and attach the first three chapters of your manuscript.

Regards,

Gwen

***

(Side note: I definitely felt excited about this one.)

Kelly Guentner said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query regarding ON ONE HAND. I am intrigued by the premise and voice and would like to see your first three chapters.

Please submit the first three chapters at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,
Kelly Guentner

Cindy said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query of On One Hand. Please send the first fifty pages of your manuscript via e-mail.

Thanks,
Cindy

Superfast said...

Dear Author,

I'm interested in reading more. Please send me the full manuscript.

Thank you.

StrugglingToMakeIt said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm the right agent to represent your work.

Best,

Agent

(This is another one I wanted to like, but the query didn't grab me enough. The premise is good, but there's not enough of a hook for me to give this one of my five yes votes.)

ikmar said...

Dear Author

Thank you for your query. Sorry, but it is not for me.

Sincerely,
Agent for the Day

Jen C said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for submitting your query to the Most Awesome Literary Agency Ever. I regret that, at this time, your project is not quite what I’m looking for. I wish you the best of luck in your continuing search for representation.
Sincerely,
Jen C.

Disgruntled Bear said...

Dear Author,

I am very intrigued with ON ONE HAND, and I would like to read more. Please send the first 30 pages as a Word document or a PDF file.

Sincerely,

Disgruntled Literary Agent

AgentforDay said...

Dear Author,

I would be interested in reading your full manuscript, and if possible, I request an exclusive.

I will respond within 2 weeks.

Sincerely,

Agent for a Day

PS. Let me especially warn you to stay away from Diva Agent. I suspect she is snarky (and definitely hilarious).

EJ Lange said...

Author,

Thank you so much for your query. Your concept is unique. I am especially intruiged by the WalMart employee! It sounds like you have some compelling characters.
Please send me the complete manuscript along with the original query.

Agent Erin

*****
requested:
#9
#10
#26
#37
#46

Anonymous said...

No thank you. Best of luck in your endeavors.

-Agent Pro Tempore

Rebecca Knight said...

Dear "On One Hand,"

Thank you for your query, and for thinking of my agency. I was very intrigued by your query and would love to see the full manuscript. Please reply and attach it as a .doc file. I should respond back within 4-6 weeks at the latest. Thank you for your patience. I look forward to reading ON ONE HAND.

Sincerely,

Rebecca Knight

Laura said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but the premise is not a good fit for me.

Best of luck,

Agent Laura

p.s. This would have been my sixth pick-- it's an interesting premise.

Anonymous said...

Dear Author,

Please send 50 pages according to our submission guidelines. I'm interested even though On One Hand isn't in my preferred genre.

BelleAgent

Sheila said...

I'd like to read some pages here. Well done.

Tara Ryan said...

Dear Author,
Please send me the first 50 pages of the manuscript.
Agent-for-a-day

Kristi said...

Thank you for your query. I would love to read the first 50 pages of your manuscript. Please send it to my attention at the address listed.
Thank you.

Sincerely,
Kristi

Soratian said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. I would to read more.

Please send me a partial of 50 pages, as well as a detailed synopsis. These should be in standard manuscript formatting.

Regards,
Soratian

(Comments: not quite my genre, but was hooked by the 5 individuals and special powers you promised. I also like the sound of Raymond, I'm tired of the hardboiled detectives.)

Meg Trotter said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query, but unfortunately I must pass. The story was not quite up my alley.
Best of luck elsewhere,
Megan

Polenth said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I'd be interested in seeing more of your story. Please send me the first three chapters of your book.

--
Polenth

Patti K. said...

Thank you for your submission. I believe it has a lot of potential but I do not believe it is not right for me at this time. Good luck with your quest for the perfect agent.

Patti K.

Jeanne Tomlin said...

An interesting concept but not for me at this time. Thanks.

CJK said...

Please email the first three chapters to me for consideration. Best wishes, CJK

bookshop said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent submission. While our agency is not the best fit for this particular project, other agents may feel differently. I wish you luck in your search for representation.


Regards,

Bookshop

Katy said...

This is an interesting premise. However, after much thought, I don't feel I am the right agent to represent this project.
Best of luck,
Katy

KathyF said...

Dear Author of Query #10,

Thank you for your query, but ON ONE HAND isn't right for me.

KathyF

Eden said...

Please send the first 5,000 words of ON ONE HAND as an attached Word or Open Office document.

Sincerely,

Eden

Kavanaugh and Byrne's LA said...

Dear Author

Thank you for giving us the opportunity to consider your work at Kavanaugh and Byrne’s Literary Agency.
We were impressed by the concept.
We would appreciate it if you would send us additional details and the first three chapters.
Our query e-mail address can be found at the top of this communication.
We look forward to hearing from you.

Flower Kavanaugh

Your concept stood out today!

Cat Hellisen said...

Dear Author

I like the sound of this. Please send a brief synopsis and the first 50 pages attached as a document.

Best,
Cat

Pap said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your interest in my agency. However, I will not be requesting any further materials from you at this time. Please note that submissions are a very subjective business and my comments are not a critique on your writing ability. I strongly encourage you to continue your search for an agent and wish you all the best.

Your sincerely,

Make-believe Agency

KC in SF said...

thank you for your query, I'm interested in reading more! please send me your full manuscript.

best wishes, KC in SF

Adam Heine said...

It's an interesting idea (you made it to my final 7), but I don't have enough sense of the stakes. Why is Russ saving these people? Who is Amanda and why is she the lesser of two evils (e.g. what's the other evil)?

I'm sorry, I have to say no. Thank you for submitting and good luck.

donnas said...

Thank you for your submission but I am afraid your book is not right for us at this time.

Best of luck.

Melinda said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Please send the first 50 pages attached in a Word doc.

Sincerely,

Melinda

P.S. Love your first paragraph.

"while not dooming the world." - I'd like a little more info on why the world is doomed if you keep this phrase in the query.

Renee Collins said...

Dear On One Hand,

Thank you for your query. I was on really the fence with this one, because the premise intrigued me a lot. Unfortunately, I don't think it is quite right for me. I'm sure another agent will feel differently.

Best of luck,

Renee

PPP said...

Dear Author,

I don't know why I'm not interested in requesting more. I could say the whole "broken heart, drinking problem" thing is cliched. But that's not really the reason. I think it's just one of those things.

Sorry. I bet someone else loves it.

Signed,
PPP

MK said...

Dear Author,

While your query is interesting, I'm afraid it's not the right fit for us at this time.

Good luck with your search.

Best,
Agent for a Day

Mystery Robin said...

Please send me the first three chapters.

Thank you!
Robin

Sage said...

Dear OOH,

I think this has a lot of promise, but in the end, I feel it's just not right for me. Good luck in your agent search!

Thanks,
Sage

Selene said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for contacting Selene Literary. After careful consideration, we regret to inform you that this project is not right for us. We wish you the best of luck in finding an agent that is as enthusiastic about this book as it deserves.

Best regards,
Selene Da Agent
Selene Literary

dhole said...

Dear Author, thanks, but not quite right for me, etc.

(If it weren't for the limit of five requests, I'd ask for more on this one.)

Nay said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query.
I would love to see more.
Please send me the first three chapters.

-Nay

theflightytemptress said...

Dear On One Hand,

Thank you for your submission, but unfortunately it’s not for me. Publishing is a very subjective business, though, and another agent may feel differently. Best of luck on your continued search.

I think the premise is very interesting, but the writing's not there yet. The blurb doesn't seem very suspenseful despite being a thriller.

Yours,

Kat Brauer

Annie said...

I'd pass.

Reason: I love the idea, but the query just doesn't bring the story together for me.

writtenwyrdd said...

Dear Author:

Thank you for your submission, but your book is not appropriate for my current needs. I wish you luck in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,
Agent

Reasons:
Now, I adore sff, and if your letter had grabbed me just a little more strongly I'd have asked for a partial. I think that the letter is still not quite selling the plot, and it's not giving me a sense of the main character. It also jumps the focus around a bit--enough to make me not want to read a partial, but only just.

The First Carol said...

Dear Author of ON ONE HAND:
I am intrigued by your premise, please send the first four chapters, a synopsis and brief resume.

Chris Eldin said...

LOVE this! But this is slot number 7. If I weren't out already, I'd request a full.

Good Luck!

thin said...

Dear Author,
While it seems like an interesting premise for a book, I'm sorry to say that I cannot take on the project. Thank you for considering me, and best of luck in the future.
Sincerely,
Thin

Poppy said...

Dear Author,

Your query for ON ONE HAND intrigued me and I would like to request a partial of the manuscript. Please send the first three chapters as an attatchment.

Thank you for your submission.

Agent

Janny said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for querying me with ON ONE HAND. This premise really piqued my interest, and I'd like to see more. Please send the first 50 pages as a Word document (either .rtf or .doc format) attached to an e-mail, and put the title of your book in the subject line.

Again, thanks for submitting this query to me. I look forward to reading more!

Sincerely,
Janny

The Classic Carol said...

Dear Author of ON ONE HAND:
Thank you for your query. I found your premise intriguing. Unfortunately, it is not right for me at this time. I encourage you to keep writing. Best wishes as you pursue an agent better suited for your work.

RW said...

Dear Author:

Thank you very much for your query. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to consider your work for representation. As you know, it’s a competitive market these days, and I don’t believe I have the right relationships to sell this project successfully. I do wish you luck in finding an agent and thank you for considering me.

Yours truly,

RW

Kats said...

Dear Author,

Thanks for your query, unfortunately On One Hand is not the right fit for me.

Best,
Agent for the Day, Kats

Deniz Bevan said...

Thank you for telling me about your book. I'd like to see if the writing engages me, so please cut and paste the first five pages of the manuscript into the body of an email, and I'll take a look.
Sincerely,
Ms Agent Agency

Sun Up said...

Dear Author,

'You had me at hello' as the line goes. Very compelling voice and I immediately wanted to know these characters. Please send me the first five chapters of your manuscript to agentalicia@literaryplace.com

Do not send as an attachment. Copy and paste it into the body.

Ceadrick said...

Dear Author,

Please send me a copy of your manuscript.



Thank you,
Ceadrick

Sarah Laurenson said...

Dear Author,

Please send me the first 30 pages of your manuscript.

Sarah


I love the concept, though the choice of genre in the query is questionable. The query is also bare of voice and ends on a cliche, so I'm hoping this doesn't show up in the manuscript.

Jabez said...

Thank you for your query. Unfortunately, I do not believe I am the best agent to represent your manuscript. Best of luck in your quest for publication.

Leslie said...

Dear Author,

This story could be a page turner. Please send me a sample of your writing. Thank you.

Best regards, Leslie

kdrausin said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your submission. I was intrigued by your query however at this time my client list is full.

I wish you luck on your writing journey.

Sincerely,

KDrausin ( I loved this query and perhaps missed out by choosing too many YA's- This would be my very next choice.)

Jenn said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your query. Please send me the first 3 chapters of this novel as a word document attached to this email, along with a copy of your query.

Sincerely,
Fake Agent

--This sounds really interesting! I thought the query was well written and gave just enough information to make me want to read more.

Dale - Las Vegas said...

Thank you for your submission but it doesn't seem right for me at this time.

Good luck in the future.

Sherry Ficklin said...

Dear Author,
Thank you for thinking of me, but I'm going to have to pass. Best of luck finding another agent!

Sincerely, Agent Faux

Janeal C. Falor said...

Thank you for the opportunity to look at you work. Though this does sound intriguing, I don't feel this is the right project for me.

Lipstick Lizzie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tree said...

Dear Author,
Thanks for your query. I'd love to look at the first 50 pages of ON ONE HAND.
Tree

lucy in the sky said...

I would like to read more. Please send the first 30 pages of your manuscript.

educlaytion said...

I like this one, but I have to regretfully pass. Good luck. I'm sure you'll find interest.

cwsherwoodedits said...

Thank you for your query. I'm going to have to pass.

Fawn Neun said...

Thank you for sending in your query for consideration. Unfortunately, we do not represent suspense/thriller genre work.

Thank you for offering the opportunity and best of luck,

Fawn

Laurie said...

Dear Author,

Thank you for your recent query. It would be my pleasure to read the entire manuscript, so please send me a hard copy as soon as you can.

The plot is fresh and I'm intrigued by the characters already. I look forward to reading your manuscript and hopefully representing you for this and other projects.

All the best,
Laurie

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

It's an interesting premise, but I got lost between saving the innocent people and "not dooming the world."

I'll pass at this time.

Best,
Agent

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

While John Michaels' situation is an interesting starting point, I didn't quite see the conflict coming together in the story. What's the opposition? What's at stake?

I'll pass at this time.

Best,
Agent

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

Your query left me with questions, but not necessarily the right ones. What are Robinhoods? How are the murders related to the butterfly? And where does the madman come from?

Also, 129,000 words is pretty daunting.

I'll pass at this time.

Best,
Agent

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

There's a lot to like about this project: it's a fairly unique setting, and Penn has an interesting dilemma.

However, the project doesn't quite fit with my tastes, so I'll pass.

Best,
Agent

JohnO said...

Dear Author,

I'm afraid I have to pass here, but there's a lot I liked.

In the future, I'd start the query with "Someone is picking off members ..." and fold in the information from the first paragraph later.

Best,
Agent

Fairduncan said...

Dear Author

Thanks for querying us. I regret I have to pass on this one, but wish you every success in finding representation.

Cordially Yours,
Agent

Amethyst Greye Alexander said...

Dear Author,

I've reviewed your query but am afraid your project isn't a good fit with the works I represent. I hope you won't let this discourage you, however, as every agent has different tastes and you're sure to find representation that will better suit your needs.

Thank you for considering me.
Amethyst Adams

Amethyst Greye Alexander said...

Dear Author,

I've reviewed your query but am afraid your project isn't a good fit with the works I represent. I hope you won't let this discourage you, however, as every agent has different tastes and you're sure to find representation that will better suit your needs.

Thank you for considering me.
Amethyst Adams

Anonymous said...

Form Rejection.

Agent DC

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